Emma: Wellll....everyone ready to go?
Emma: Boys? Girls? Pokemon?
Micky: Let 'er rip!
Lauren: Oh, Mick.
*Mike bemons the situation.*
Emma: (Grabs her hockey stick) Poor Peter is still on the tree, and you have Mick under control Lauren, more or less.
Lauren: More or less. *glances at Micky, who shifts from foot to foot*
Emma: Now... (Turns to Pruitt and Zero) What were you saying? I can't bring myself to call either of you gentlemen, because you're so obviously not.
*Lauren smirks.*
Pruitt: (Glares daggers) You spent three years writing fanfiction after fanfiction where I'm constantly humiliated by that sham of a con-artist Scott Sherwood and that simpering little Betty Roberts of his. I want you to know what it's like to taste defeat, to bask in the glow of lost glory.
Micky: You do and I'll be sorry!
Lauren: *quietly* Good one, Mick.
Mike: Scott Sherwood? Betty Roberts? Sorry, pal, but I think you have the wrong number.
Emma: Th...They're characters on "Remember WENN." My favorite characters, in fact.
Lauren: *groans* Oh man...
Mike: Why couldn't we have simply stuck to sitcom stuff?
Zero: This is so much more fun, Nesmith. (Glances around the group) Zero, I find it hard to believe that these scrawny, half-starved children could defeat someone with your power and persuasion.
Mike: Scrawny?
Micky: Half starved? I'll have you know...
*Lauren clamps her hand over Micky's mouth.*
Davy: Hey, who're you calling children?
Emma: (Hisses) These four are more men than either of you will ever be!
Lauren: Yeah!
Micky: *points at Lauren* She can tell you first hand I am!
Lauren: *rolls her eyes* Good grief.
Pruitt: Who is the other young lady? I don't recall her from any fiction.
Emma: Don't get ideas, Pruitt. She's my friend, one of my best friends.
Zero: Ahh, so Mr. Dolenz has found a love other than the food he consumes.
*Lauren clenches her fists at her sides.*
Emma: Pruitt, quit beating around the bush. What do you want, and how can we stop you from taking it?
Micky: *clenches his jaw & folds his arms over his chest*
Pruitt: (Ignores Emma, goes to Peter) What is it you find so fascinating about this boy? He's as scrawny and immature as the others, and not half as bright.
Emma: Don't you touch him! (Lunges at Pruitt; Mike holds her back)
Micky: That's not true!
Zero: (Runs his finger across Peter's tear-stained cheek) The boy is nothing but pure innocence. I want to mold him, shape him, taint the gentleness, tarnish that fine golden hair until his soul is blackened and ready to serve me.
Lauren: *growling* Let me at 'im! *Micky holds her back.*
Peter: (Whimpers) No!
Pruitt: Zero, you promised me the girl. I care nothing about those four scarecrows.
Micky: Scarecrows? Man, you are so...
Mike: You're not going anywhere, pal, with Pete or Emma.
*Davy holds back Lauren and Micky.*
Zero: Pruitt, I've tangled with these boys before. The tall one has powers of persuasion even I would admit to defeat, and unfortunately have.
Mike: Wanna see my powers of persuasion across your backside, pal?
Micky: Ha HA!
Emma: Pruitt and Zero, if you two are going to blab and discuss the boys' attributes all day, I would suggest you stand back and let us untie Peter and go home. (To the taller man) Zero, you've tangled with the Frodis Femmes before. You know what they'll do if they find the boys or listers hurt.
Lauren: And it won't be pretty.
Zero: We're miles from the Long_Title Library. No one can hear us.
Micky: Oh yeah?
Davy: You haven't heard his hog call.
Emma: Pruitt, we're stronger than you, younger than you, louder than you, and faster than you. We could take you out in an instant.
Zero: Lower that stick, Miss Redmer. I could kill your four friends with a wave of my hand.
Lauren: Uhh...
Emma: You wouldn't.
Lauren: *whispers* Can he do that?
Mike: (Whispers to Lauren) I don't know, and I don't want to find out.
Davy: (Tugs Emma's sleeve) Emma, luv?
Emma: Davy, I'm kinda busy!
Davy: Emma, did we leave the window open?
Emma: (Frowns) What's that supposed to mean?
Davy: (Points) The Pokemon got loose.
Emma: (Looks over her shoulder) WHAT????
Micky: Oh man!
(24 Pokemon crash into the clearing. Vernie lets out a wall of flame a mile wide. Pruitt is frightened; Zero is not.)
Emma: (Takes advantage of the distraction to whack Pruitt in the stomach with her stick) Lauren, Micky, get Peter down! Quick!
*Lauren and Micky run to the tree and untie Peter.*
(Pikachu lets loose with a bolt of electricity, followed by flying stars from Shirley and Charms.)
Micky: *finishes letting Peter loose* Hit the dirt!
Mike: (Hits Zero square in the chin. Zero lands on his hands, unhurt but startled.) Man, I've been wanting to do that ever since Peter bought that harp!
Lauren: *cheers from the ground* Go, Mike!
Emma: Snorlax, block Pruitt from running off! (A giant teal cat-like Pokemon sits in front of the Nazi and promptly falls asleep.)
*Micky laughs at the sight.*
Peter: (Scared) W...what's happening?
Emma: Cleffie, heal Peter so we can get him out of here!
(Cleffie, a cuddly pink creature with fairy wings, shoots a beam of silver light over the fearful blonde. His wounds scab and look much better, and he can stand without shaking.)
*Lauren and Micky watch Cleffie, wide-eyed.*
Emma: Did I mention Cleff's techically an alien? She and all of her kind are from the moon.
Micky: *stands and helps Lauren up* Cool! Can we get outta here now?
Mike: Where's Zero?
Emma: (Points - Zero sits unafraid and unhurried in a tree) There he is!
Davy: It's over, Zero! You're outnumbered and quite literally outgunned.
Pruitt: You're not going to leave me in this lunatic menagerie, are you?
Micky: Who're you callin' a menagerie? *rasies an eyebrow*
Mike: Get down here, Zero, so I can finish you off, man to Devil!
Zero: My, we're feeling heroic today, aren't we, Nesmith? These lovely ladies must bring out the knight errant in you.
Pruitt: Zero, we had a deal!
Zero: And I'm quite obviously not going to be getting my part of it today.
Lauren: Don't you love it when the bad guys don't get along? *smirks*
Davy: I find it rather amusing, luv. ;)
(Zero shoots Pruitt with a blue beam. The oversized Nazi businessman vanishes.)
Emma: All right, where did you send him?
Zero: Back to his own universe. He failed to serve his purpose.
Mike: Which was?
Zero: (Inspect his nails) Getting the girls away from the four of you. I hadn't the foggiest that the other girl knew nothing of him.
Emma: Lauren only knows what I've told her.
Lauren: That's right! *realizes* Hey... *scratches her head*
Mike: If you try to sic any more bad guys from other dimensions on us, we'll be ready!
Emma: You always underestimate us and the boys.
Micky: Yeah, we're smarter than we look!
Lauren: Mick...
Davy: Well, some of us are.
Emma: Friendship is a strong emotion, Zero, and it's something you can't and never will understand. Friendship binds these four boys, just as it binds Lauren and me. The Pokemon are like my children. They'll do anything for me.
Lauren: *grinning* And they're cute, too!
Zero: This is all very pretty speech-making, but serves me no purpose. I've encountered your, ahem, so-called "Frodis Femmes" before, and I know better than to underestimate those five trouble-makers. I'm going to take leave of you and your fire-spewing balls of fur.
Micky: But I don't spew fire.
Emma: I think he means Laverne.
Micky: *turns red* Sorry.
Davy: (Giggles and points at Zero) Um, Zero?
Zero: (As he turns to fade out) Yes, Jones, what is it?
Davy: (Indicates an orange glow on the rear of Zero's pants) I think the fox set your arse on fire!
Micky: *hits the ground, laughing hysterically*
Zero: W...what? (Indeed, the back of his pants are smoking.) Don't just stare at it, someone put it out! (Mike puts his hand over his mouth to cover his laughter)
*Lauren falls over laughing.*
Emma: (Giggles) Squirtle, put Zero out please. We can't be burning down trees out of season, or Devils, for that matter. ;)
(Squirtle uses Water Gun on Zero's rear...and winds up soaking him all over. The six humans and nearly all of the Pokemon are now rolling on the ground in laughter.)
Zero: (Face almost as red as the still-smouldering fire) Young lady, you and your lethal balls of fluff will pay for this!
Mike: (Between guffaws) Will that be small bills or large ones?
Micky: Can we write you a check?
Emma: (Giggles) Do you take credit cards?
Lauren: How about CODs?
Zero: (Looks ready to explode) I WILL return, make no mistake! And when I do return, (points finger at Emma), I will have a way to get back at you and take Tork's soul...and maybe a few others with him!
Lauren: *still laughing* Yeah, yeah...
Zero: Farewell! (Vanishes just as Vernie throws off a parting flame shot)
Micky: Aw man, it missed him!
Emma: (Catches her breath) Man, that guy is one heck of a windbag!
Davy: Good thing we forgot to close the window!
Micky: Lucky break.
Mike: (Scratches Pikachu's head.) You know, I could get to likin' these critters. They sure saved our necks tonight!
Peter: (Is surrounded by four or five small Pokemon, including Charms, a yellow, spiky dog-like critter, a round pink rabbit with large green eyes, and an egg-shaped critter) Thanks, guys! Did you hear what Zero wanted to do to me? He wanted to tarnish me!
Mike: Pete, that guy can try until his home freezes over, but we will NEVER let him do that to you, or anyone!
Micky: And if he ever tries again, I'll bring the tarnish remover!
(That sets everyone laughing again.)
Emma: Micky, you truly are the Healer. I feel much better.
Micky: Aw... *blushes*
Emma: (Looks at her watch) We'd better be getting back to the library. The baby Pokemon need to hit the sack, and I don't want to have to explain the carnage to the other listers.
Lauren: *nods* It's safer that way.
Emma: (Scoops her stick and two frog-like Pokemon into her arms) Come on, Matt and Benjy. Everyone grab some of the smaller Pokemon. We're heading home.
*Micky picks up Vernie and a few others. Lauren follows with Shirley.*
(Cleffie settles on Peter's shoulder. Charms is on his other shoulder, and the little pink balloon critter is in his arms.)
Mike: I dunno what it is about the damn ducks, but they like me. (Picks up Ducky and Psyduck.)
Davy: It's the hat, mate. *pauses* The little pink egg thing likes me. (Gathers an egg-shaped Pokemon who also carries an egg in her stomach and a little blue tadpole with a black swirl on it's stomach.)
Emma: Blissey's an incorrigable flirt. ;)
Lauren: They should get along very well then!
(The trees echo with the laughter of six humans and 24 Pokemon as the six and the remaining critters tramp through the woods on their way home. All climb through the broken window safe and sound. Mike and Davy proceed to temporarily fix the window with duct tape and wood.)
Peter: (Jumps on the bed) That was scary!
Emma: (Flops in her favorite chair, the Deco Chair) No kidding!
Micky: *jumps on the bed next to Peter* That was one weird adventure!
Lauren: *flops on the floor by the bed* Whew!
Mike: (Sets the ducks down and watches them waddle towards the other room) All of us are here and accounted for, thank God.
Emma: So, that was Zero. (Makes a face) And I thought Micky had some perverted ways to pass the time!
Micky: *stops jumping and lays on the bed above where Lauren's sitting* Good! *plays with Lauren's pony tail; pauses and glares at Emma*
Peter: I hope we never see him again!
Mike: Don't count on it.
Emma: Yeah, and he isn't the only bad guy you've all run into, either. (Goes to the main List site) I'm going to check some of these fics again.
Mike: Some of them get pretty damn weird!
Emma: (Sighs) I wish I understood this whole alternate universe deal better. This was soooo much easier with "Perfect Strangers!"
Peter: Why?
Lauren: No clones, for one thing.
Emma: And it was, more or less, just the main story. No soap operas, super heroics, maiming, mauling, lacerating, scarring, or biffing. I mean, Lauren and I did some not-nice things to Balki and Larry, but nothing to the extent of the Listers!
Lauren: Compared to what's been written here, we've been downright nice!
Emma: Oh, yes, and it was mostly just Lauren and me writing the stories, so we knew what went on in them and, basically, who we were going to run into.
Lauren: It's a very small universe.
Emma: I guess because you guys are a "cult" show and you've been around longer, not to mention revived several times, your universe is about a thousand times wider. The format of your show is looser, too, with more room to experiment and interpret.
Lauren: *leans back* At least a 1,000.
Micky: *perks up* Experiment?
Emma: Well, I debated doing something like the "Davy's Secret" series for PS, but it was only going to be a one-shot deal, and probably a spoof, at that.
Mike: I think I know what she means by "experiment." I've read everything from poetry to comedies to parodies to high tragedy on this group.
Micky: I was hoping chemistry had something to do with it. *flops forward & starts playing with Lauren's pony tail again*
Emma: No, the experiments aren't with chemicals, Mick. They're with words and formats.
Peter: How can you blow up words?
Lauren: If there's a way, Micky can figure it out. *smirks*
Mike: I'll bet he can.
Emma: (Laughs) Probably true.
Lauren: *Micky taps a drum riff on her head* Hey!
Emma: (Blanches) Um, Mike, don't read the most recent story sent down the list. You won't like it.
Mike: Why not? (Reads "Grief" and goes pale) I'M A WOMAN??????!!!!!
Emma: (Rubs her ear) Mike, I know you're upset, but you don't have to scream it! I'm right here!
Lauren: Thanks, Mike. I may never have the hiccups again. *earns a glare from Micky*
(Peter and Davy snicker.)
Mike: Pete, you have no room to laugh. You're blind.
Peter: (Squeaks) Me? Why me?
Mike: Oh, and you're also a genius.
Peter: (city-lighting smile) Oh, that's a relief. For a moment, I thought the writer didn't like me! I've always wanted to be a genius!
Lauren: What about Curly here?
Emma: I'm sure we could find a few fics where he's been damaged, too. (Winks at Lauren) Including yours.
Lauren: I've found a few so far. *pauses* Did you guys read mine?
Micky: (Glares at Lauren) Yours?
Emma: I have, but you DID send it to me.
Mike: Do you mean "Stardom," or the one where Micky blinds himself with his chemistry set?
Lauren: Either...or both.
Peter: Emma, I read "Dreamland!" That was so sweet, even if Mike talked funny.
Emma: (Blushes) I'm still getting a handle on the dialogue.
Mike: I read both. (Sighs at "Stardom") Am I really that hard-headed?
Emma: Yes.
Lauren: *turns red* Yeah.
Mike: (Reads "Dreamland" and gives Emma a look) "Purdy?" I'm not THAT much of a hick!
Lauren: *snickers*
Emma: (Blushes deep red and mumbles) I told you I'm still getting a handle on the dialogue, especially yours!
Davy: Anything about me?
Emma: Well, there's the whole thing with you being a witch.
Mike: That series is just plain freaky.
Emma: I think it's romantic. (Smiles) I like the stories that explain how you boys met each other. I mean, you're all so different. You don' t usually meet four guys from very different parts of the country (and one from another country entirely) who get along so well after only knowing each other for a few months.
Micky: I liked "I've Seen You In A Place Once Known".
Emma: Me too, Mick. :)
Lauren: And me!
Davy: I don't know how we managed to live together. We just clicked, I guess.
Lauren: You survived meeting Micky.
Micky: Hey! You'll pay for that! (Jumps on Lauren, turns her over, and tickles her.)
Davy: Not again!
Peter: Do people write about me, too?
Emma: Quite frequently. A lot of people spend time explaining why you're, well, you.
Mike: Right. Like the series about the vampire who looks like Davy.
Micky: *chants* Davy's a vamp!
Davy: And you didn't know that, mate? (Leans over him, bares his white teeth and does a very bad Boris Karloff impression) I vhant to suck your Pepsi!
Micky: *groans* Dave, leave the impersonations to me.
Emma: (Laughs) Davy, the Pepsi machine is down the hall if you're thirsty.
Mike: Man, Peter, in the vampire series, you're psychic. You get really nasty dreams about murders and stuff.
Peter: (Shivers) I don't want to dream about murderers! Can't I dream about nice things instead, like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?
Mike: And Mick has a photographic memory.
Lauren: You guys don't have nightmares about any of this stuff us writers put you through, do you? (Quirks an eyebrow) He has a photographic memory?
Mike: (Glares at the screen) Well, I might HAVE a few after reading all this stuff.
Lauren: *pauses* Or was that pornographic?
(Emma and Mike just look at each other and burst into laughter as Davy comes back into the room with a can of Pepsi.)
Davy: Did I miss something?
Peter: I think you had to be there. (Pause) Then again, I was there, and I missed it.
Emma: (Composes herself) We were discussing a series of fanfics Enola Jones writes every Halloween that involves you boys befriending a friendly vampire and having gifts. Kind of like the "Power Monkees" thing, but with a vampire and no flying.
Micky: Very funny. *sprawls himself out of the bed again*
Mike: Davy, you can make weapons out of anything, but it makes you lonely.
Davy: Me, lonely? Nevah!
Lauren: Mainly because Davy doesn't like the broom.
Davy: The witch thing again. (Rolls his eyes) I'm going to be getting witch jokes until the end of time, aren't I?
Emma: (Giggles) I'm afraid so, Dave.
Lauren: Micky, too. He loves flying on the broom!
Emma: And gets into trouble doing so. (Winks at Mick) I think you'd make an adorable ten-year-old! (Pinches his cheek)
*Micky rests his chin on his arms and makes a face.*
Mike: I wouldn't mind having powers if I could do that! ;)
Lauren: Only if he has blond hair. ;-)
Peter: Micky, you're not a blonde! You've got brown hair!
Emma: (Still reading fics) You have a gift for stating the obvious, Peter.
Peter: (city-lighting smile) Thanks! :)
Lauren: Pete's always had that. *smiles*
Lauren: How do you like the name Captain Obvious, Peter?
Peter: I think I like that!
Mike: You would.
Lauren: It's all yours!
Peter: Thank you!
Emma: (Grins) I really love the fairy tale parodies! Mike, you made such a handsome Cinderella!
Mike: (Grumbling) I'm nobody's servant!
Lauren: Oh come on, Mike.
Emma: I think you'd look quite attractive in glass slippers. (Looks down at Mike's feet.)
Lauren: But would they be comfy to walk in?
Mike: My big feet would break glass shoes in two seconds flat.
Emma: Mike, don't be so hard on yourself.
Lauren: *looks above her* Hey, Dolenz is still here! *feigns surprise*
Micky: I'm still mad at the pornographic memory thing. *glares at Lauren*
Davy: I though that was quite amusing, really, luv.
Lauren: *smiles* Thanks, Dave!
Davy: You're welcome, mate.
Peter: Could we go on another adventure, as long as I don't get hurt?
Lauren: Maybe Mick could be the guinea pig this time!
Mike: I dunno...
Peter: Maybe we could go someplace where no one hurts Monkees or makes them blind.
Emma: You're dreaming, Peter.
Micky: Good luck. *snorts*
Mike: You and your fantasies, Pete!
Peter: A fantasy! That's a good idea, Mike! One of the girls could write us a fantasy!
Mike: And how would they do that?
Lauren: Uh oh...
Peter: Maybe we could just imagine we're in a fantasy! I want to rescue the beautiful princess and have her kiss me instead of saying she's married!
Mike: I thought that's what we were doing.
Lauren: Just make sure Mike isn't the Princess.
Emma: (Grins) I'll settle for him as Prince Charming.
Davy: I'm on Petah's side. If something doesn't happen soon, I'll go crackers!
Micky: *waves at a bubble above his head* Good. I'm starting to get thought balloons.
Mike: I told you to lay off the comics.
Emma: You know, Peter, that could work. I mean, some of the Listers have ended up in their own fics, right?
Mike: (Warily) Right.
Lauren: Yeah?
Emma: I have a plan. And Lauren, if you say "Oh god," I will sic the Pokemon on you.
*Lauren opens her mouth, then promptly closes it.*
Emma: (Notes the startled looks the boys give her at the last sentance) Um, sorry, in-joke.
Micky: (Rolls his eyes and holds up his fingers) Little in-joke, about that big. (Lauren laughs.)
Emma: Everyone get on the bed. Mike, you too. (The six humans squeeze onto the bed.)
Lauren: It's too small! *sits on Micky's back*
Emma: Davy, get your hands off my ass.
Davy: That was your arse? (Eyes Emma's considerable breasts) I was aiming 'igher.
Mike: Davy, that ain't how you treat a lady!
Lauren: Dave!
Emma: Davy, sit next to Peter. (Davy moves and almost knocks Mike off the bed.)
Mike: Hey, watch where you put those little legs!
Micky: Yeah, well, my lady's sitting on me!
Mike: Lauren, get off of Micky. That can't be comfortable for either of you.
Emma: Lauren, sit on a pillow.
Lauren: Do I have to? Wait, how about this? *moves so she's laying across his back*
Micky: *sarcastically* Oh, that's much better.
Emma: (Giggles) We want him to be able to breathe, dear. (The other three snort.)
Lauren: C'mon, you know you like it! *elbows him*
Emma: Ok, when we're all comfortable (glares at Micky and Lauren) but not too comfortable, I want you all to clear your minds of all thoughts.
Peter: My mind is totally clear.
Micky: Mine's clear, too.
"Dream World" Prologue
Mike: Oh, please. Whose fantasy is this, a three-year-old's?
Lauren: We won't crash land into the place we're thinking of, will we?
Emma: Ummm...I didn't think that far ahead. (Blushes)
Peter: Not if we imagine we don't!
Lauren: *nods* I'm thinking of my place. *grins a little too brightly*
Emma: Now, imagine you're falling through space and time...
(All six land on a beautiful meadow, and land quite nicely, except for Micky, who lands hard on his rear, and Lauren, who lands on his stomach.)
Peter: That was fun! Can we do it again?
Micky: *grins* Hiya, beautiful!
Lauren: *blushes* Nice landing.
Mike: Um, Emma, now that we've imagined ourselves here, how do we imagine ourselves out?
Emma: (Blushes and mutters) I haven't the foggiest.
Lauren: I'm staying right here!
Davy: Where are we?
Mike: Offhand, I'd say we're in a calm, beautiful green meadow.
Emma: What's that? (Sound of hoofbeats)
Lauren: Now Mike, Peter's Captain Obvious. *pauses; listens*
Peter: Yeah, that's my job!
(A knight in shining armor rides up on a gorgeous white horse. He stops and gazes out at the six humans with some confusion.)
Knight: And may I ask who ye be, strangely dressed travelers?
Peter: I'm Peter, and I'm having an adventure in my imagination! How 'bout you?
Micky: Strangely dressed? *glances down at his former table cloth turned poncho*
Emma: (Smooths out her Acme uniform shirt and khakis and does an awkward curtsey) Good day, kind knight! My name is Emma Redmer, and these be my dear friends. The lass is Lauren Miller, and the four fine youths are Micky Dolenz, Peter Tork, Michael Nesmith, and David Jones, better known as The Monkees in the land we are from. We come in peace and in search of adventure and excitement.
Mike: (Rolls his eyes) Layin' it on a bit thick, aren't we?
Emma: You gotta know how to speak their language.
Knight: I am Sir Andrew Brighton, of the Land of Sunshine and Beauty! You must be very powerful magicians and witches, to have fallen from the sky and survived!
Lauren: Micky broke my fall.
Sir Brighton: Micky? Ah, the wild-haired lad in the strange covering.
Micky: That be me. *Smiles, then considers how he was just described.*
Sir Brighton: I'd be advised not to go into that wood, if I were you! (Points to a thick, dark forest) Our own good knights vanished in that forest searching for the four Jewels of the Kingdom. The wicked sorceror Alakazam rules the forest and keeps the jewels hidden. A prophecy states that only those with a kind heart, a savage heart, a clever heart, and a foreign heart will lead our two saviors to the jewels and the restoration of the kingdom!
Emma: (Looks over her shoulder) Gee, I wonder who he could mean by the savage heart, etc, stuff? ;)
Lauren: Gee, I wonder. ;-)
Mike: (Sighs) That means we're going into that wood, right?
Peter: (Hides behind Mike) Do we have to? It looks awfully spooky!