Well....everyone ready to rescue Lauren?
Micky: Definitely!
Lauren: Help help! ;-)
Mike: (Slams his fist into his palm, then shakes his fist) You bet I am! Those bastards are going down!
Peter: I'm ready to help, too!
Davy: And me!
Sooooo....
(The four stand - the guys in the outfits they wore in the end of "A Nice Place to Visit," Emma in her brick-red suit, parasol at the ready - outside Granny's. Granny is with them, her rifle loaded and drawn.)
Emma: All of you know the plan?
Micky: *nods* Yeah, Em.
Mike: Yeah. You and me will get Lauren away from those bastards while Davy, Micky, and Peter handle Freddy and his goons.
Granny: (Cocks her rifle at the street) And I've got half the town sniffin' around for Lord. He won't get past us! (Nods at the five tough-looking Mexican boys behind her, along with Rita and Patsy) The Sexto kids and Pat will be my back-up.
Patsy: (To Davy) Don't go and do anything stupid! I know you like being gallant, but you can't save anyone if you get killed!
Davy: Now, when have I gone and done something stupid rescuing a nice girl?
Micky: *gives Davy a small smirk* You want a list?
Mike: (Rolls his eyes) That's the dumbest question I ever heard out of your mouth.
Peter: Well, there was the circus owner's daughter, and the Middle Eastern Princess, and the little Mexican girl, and the hillbilly girl who wanted to marry you, and the Princess of Harmonica you saved, and....
Patsy: (Raises her eyebrows) Oh?
Davy: (Winces at Patsy's look) Petah, I think we get the point.
Micky: I didn't mean it literally.
Elizabeth: (Arrives alongside the General Store and jumps out of her carriage) They're on their way. I saw them when I was riding over here. (Hugs Peter) Be careful!
Peter: (Blushes) I will, Elizabeth! I won't let anything happen to me or Micky or Davy!
Elizabeth: (Grins) Here's something for good luck. (Gives Peter a kiss that nearly knocks him off the porch of the General Store)
Peter: (He's red as the setting sun when he comes up) Wow, that's better than a rabbit's foot!
Davy: (Elbows Patsy) Where's my luck?
Patsy: (Smirks and looks him over) Do you want it in the eye or...other places?
Davy: (Takes her and kisses her) I'll give you luck then, luv. ;)
Patsy: (Sighs) I'll kill you later.
(Emma and Mike are already kissing.)
Micky: *sighs* Could we move this along, please?
(The sound of hoofbeats grants Micky's commands. The townspeople scramble for the cover of their homes and businesses and the Monkees, Emma, Elizabeth, Patsy, Granny, and the Sextos brace for the arrival of the bandits. Freddy arrives first, his shoulder heavily bandaged. He's followed by Sally, who smirks at Peter. Elizabeth takes a whimpering Peter protectively in her arms. Rufus follows, with a bound and gagged Lauren in front of him on his horse. She's dirty and angry as a pitbull, but otherwise unharmed. Cooper and the other men and women join them and climb off their horses.)
*Micky growls.*
(Emma reflexively starts to Lauren, her parasol at the ready, but Mike gently stops her.)
Freddy: You comin', Dolenz? You can bring along two of your boys. I've got two of mine. (Points at Cooper and Sally, who come up behind him.)
Sally: (Glares and mutters) Who you callin' 'boy,' Dead-Eye?
Micky: I'm comin'!
(Micky steps out on the empty street, followed by an angry Davy and a shaky-but-determined Peter.)
Mike: (Whispers at Emma) Come on! Got the stuff?
Emma: (Pulls a bottle of familiar black liquid out of the folds of her dress) I've got the stuff right here, honey. ;)
Mike: Let's go! (The two sneak around back of the General Store to a group of barrels)
Freddy: (To Micky) All right, Dolenz, I'll give you two options. You, the British brat, the nosy reporter, and Nesmith can leave town, or you can be blown to your maker along with the rest of these folks.
Davy: (Growls) British brat?
Elizabeth: What about Peter?
Sally: (Smirks at Peter) The blond is mine. I've got a few things I want to show that sweet little duckling.
Elizabeth: (Screams as Peter blushes) The only thing you'll be shown is a slow train to the deepest reaches of hell!
Micky: What if I don't like either of those options?
Freddy: (Smirks) I'd say you don't have much of a choice, boy.
Micky: Well, we aren't leaving, and I don't feel like being blown to my maker quite yet.
Freddy: Then it's come to this, boy. Me an' my (Sally glares at him) people are going to have to kill you and your runty friend. His lands are too valuable, and you know way too much.
Micky: Well, then Freddy... *grins, while pulling his pistol* Make my day. *narrows his eyes*
Freddy: One...(we see Emma and Mike pour the black liquid around a small group of pickle barrels)...two (Mike borrows a match from Granny and sets off the liquid - Emma grabs him over to Rufus's horse)...three!
(The two start shooting at each other...just as the pickle barrels explode, sending off green liquid and gherkins in every direction. Freddy is distracted enough that Micky shoots him in the chest.)
Mike: (Emerges from behind the General Store with Emma in tow) YEEE HAAAWWWW!!! :D
Emma: Well, I'll be snookered, that stuff Micky made really does work! :D
Micky: *whoops with joy* Ha HA!
Davy: Whoa! (Grabs Micky down as a shot from Cooper nearly parts his curls) We'd better take this across the street.
Micky: *nods* Yeah, man, I don't need a haircut that bad.
(And they do, to the tune of "What Am I Doin' Hangin' 'Round?": Sally chases Peter, and Elizabeth chases both of them. Davy, Micky, Granny, the Sexto kids, Patsy, Dolly, and the townspeople shoot at the bandits. Rufus ties a still-struggling Lauren to a fence alongside the saloon where the horses are kept. Mike and Emma untie her and bring her over to the fracas. Micky takes her and kisses her deeply in relief. Bandits chase kids, kids chase bandits, Rufus helps Freddy to his feet, only to see his boss pass out. Sally manages to send a rodeo-rope around Peter...but Elizabeth hog-ties HER and unties Peter. They jump into the General Store to enjoy another kiss. The kids, Patsy, and the Sextos round up the remaining gunslingers with rope as the romp ends.)
Dr. Drake: (He come up to the kids in his carriage, followed by officials from Houston, and beams at the grinning kids' work) Good work, gang!
Mike: (Tips his hat) Aw, ain't nothin', Doc.
Micky: *waves it off* Nothing to it!
Emma: All in a day's work! :D
Lauren: *shakes her head* All I know is I've had enough excitement for a long time.
Dr. Drake: I finally got the word from Houston. They can't trace the bullet on Harrison, but they took another good look at the slug from Georgian...and yes, it comes from one of the guns belonging to Freddy's gang. They've also talked to some of Lord's pals in Houston who were going to go into business with him. Seems he intended to bring some rather unsavory elements into this town, even more than Freddy and his gang.
Mike: What happened to Lord?
Dr. Drake: (Shrugs) Men from Houston are still looking for him.
Davy: (Grins) Well, that's a wrap, it would seem. (Looks around) Where's Petah?
Granny: (Points at the window of the General Store - Elizabeth and Peter are in each other's arms, talking and hugging) He's busy, son. ;)
Micky: *wipes away a nonexistant tear* That's so sweet!
Mike: Figures they wouldn't be able to trace the slug from Harrison.
Emma: (Grins and puts her arm around Mike) All's well that ends well, Shakespeare says.
Lauren: *as Micky drapes his good arm around her shoulders* You can say that again.
Mike: There's still something that's not quite right about this...
Micky: Mike, don't say that!
Emma: (Pokes him with her parasol) Yeah, every time you say that, things go wrong!
Mike: Lord's got to be skulking around here somewhere.
(That's when a gunshot from above goes straight between Mike and Emma. They draw apart, gasping.)
Rita: (Points at the roof of the saloon) Look!
(Lord stands on the roof, surrounded by boxes of explosives and a fuse. He no longer looks calm and cold - he's now wild-eyed, dirty, and mussed.)
Mike: (Snarls) I knew there was unfinished business!
Micky: He's completely crackers...crazy!
Lord: Crackers? (Laughs) I'll show you crackers, Dolenz! (Shoots again - Lauren, Davy, and Micky run to the General Store for cover.)
Mike: Hey! Lay off him! He's had enough!
Micky: *gasping* Thanks, Mike!
Patsy: (Raises her rifle - Granny and the Sextos do, too) You're through, Lord!
Granny: (Nods at the girls and the Monkees) These kids rounded up your men and wrecked your train.
Lord: (Eyes wild) But they haven't caught me yet! (Starts fitting the explosives to a lever) I'm going to get this land, and I'm going to build this casino and my railroad, and I'm going to bring back the Gordon James Limited...and none of you are going to stop me! You'll all be blown to bits with the town! You're all so behind the times, with your saloon ditties and carriages! You're standing in the way of progress!
Mike: And you're standing in the way of people's lives! (Roars and runs to the fire escape on the side of the saloon. Emma and Davy follows. Micky is about to join them, but he clutches his sore arm. Lauren takes him gently aside.)
Lauren: Let them handle him. We can keep an eye on things from here.
(Peter and Elizabeth gasp and run out onto the porch. Patsy, Rita, and the Sextos follow across the street.)
Lord: (He's trying to get his ligher to work - not an easy thing to do when you're shaking so hard, you put out the flame - when Mike appears. He sneers) Still playing hero, Nesmith? I didn't think it was in a gunfigher's nature.
Mike: (Pulls himself over and onto the roof) I'm givin' that life up, Lord, no thanks to you. I ain't gonna let you destroy these people's lives like you did mine, Georgian's, Rosita's, and Harrison's!
Lord: (Snarls) Harrison was expendable. He was my little tame reporter, my yes-man. He wrote what I wanted him to write and did what I wanted him to do, but then he started asking questions. (Neither man sees Emma's head peek over the side of the roof.)
Mike: That's why you killed him.
Lord: (Still trying to flick the lighter) He served his purpose, but he started getting nosy, like your friends Georgian, Miller, and Dolenz.
Mike: When is it going to stop, Lord? Why is this casino so important to you? (Waves his hand to take in a panaramic view of not only Clarksville but the entire valley, illuminated by the setting sun and looking gorgeous) Look at this! This is true progress, Lord. Not huge buildings and corporations, but people living their own lives one day at a time, building things that mean something to them, not souless tourist traps.
(Emma slowly struggles onto the roof while the two men stare each other down.)
*Micky and Lauren notice Emma on the roof. Both have wide eyes and exchange looks.*
Lord: (Stands, shaking, wild, cold, angry) You're so naive, Nesmith. You always were. You don't understand true power.
Mike: Yes, I do, Lord, and if power means doin' what you've done to people, including me, I want no part of it.
Lord: I'll show you power firsthand, Nesmith! I'll show you progress! (Shrieks at the top of his lungs) I'LL SHOW YOU ALL THAT NO ONE CAN STAND IN THE WAY OF PROGRESS!!!! (He moves to light the fuse, but Mike jumps on him. The two men wrestle on the roof, but Lord gets the drop on Mike and forces him against the side of the saloon. The people below gasp and scream - Mike's hat falls to the ground as Lord hits him. He hits him back and turns him around, and the two tussle.)
(Lord forces Mike against the side of the saloon and is about to push him over when he's hit on the head with a familiar red steel-shafted parasol. Mike pushes him off and looks up in shock at Emma, who clutches her parasol, her eyes large and incensed.)
Emma: (Hisses) No, Lord. That's not progress. That's bullying.
*Lauren and Micky applaud from below.*
Emma: (Smacks him again as Granny and the others get on the roof) And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a bully.
Micky: *cheers, raising his good arm* All right, Emma!
Lord: (Reaches over, takes a match from his coat pocket, and sets the explosives off) Give my love to Georgian and Rosita, lovebirds, not to mention the Gordon James Limited!
Mike: (Blanches) Um, Lord, there's something you ought to know about those explosives...
(The explosives go off...but they do nothing but blacken the roof and startle Lord. Mike goes after him, but he trips over the side of the roof and goes flying to the ground as Granny shoots at him, followed by Davy, Patsy, and the others. Emma looks over the side and immediatly blanches and leans into Mike's shaking arms.)
Emma: (Shivering) My god...
Micky: *makes a face as Lauren leans into him* That one hurt.
Granny: (Leans over the roof and grimaces) Some one scrape him up off the street. He doesn't look too nice spread out in the middle of the road like that.
Davy: (Eyes are wide) The explosives...
Mike: ...Were concentrated versions of that stuff Micky used at the social to scare us. Emma, Peter, Elizabeth, and I replaced his real gunpower with Micky's after we rescued Lauren during the romp.
Emma: But I never thought he would go over like that. It wasn't supposed to hurt him, just startle him enough that we would be able to stop him...
(Drake and several men are already collecting what remains of Lord from the street as Davy, Patsy, Emma, Mike, and Granny come off the roof. Rita and the Sextos are cleaning up the explosives.)
*Lauren and Micky join the others.*
Emma: (Shudders) I didn't want to hurt him, just keep him from hurting Mike. (Grits her teeth) He was no better than all those boys who used to pick on me.
Mike: Yeah, Em. It scared the hell out of me, too, but he was totally and completely insane by the time we got to him.
Lauren: I hate to say it, but maybe it's better it happened this way.
Peter: He was a lot like Zeckenbush. They both thought taking people's homes and replacing them with something fancier was progress.
Granny: Progress, my ass! That man was one pickle shy of a triple-decker sandwich!
Micky: *his stomach growls* Speaking of food...
(There's another group of people riding up on horseback...but these people have reddish skin and wear buckskin and feathers. A large, pudgy man in gray feathers rides in the center of the square, flanked by several younger braves.)
Joe: (Grins) Aw, did we miss the fun? Ol' Granpa Quilan sent word that you folks might need a bit of help.
Lauren: Sorry we couldn't save you something to do.
Mike: (Puts his arms around Emma, who smiles shakily) Micky took out Freddy, we rounded up his bandits, and Lord went off his nut and fell off the roof of the saloon.
Joe: (Crosses his arms) Always knew Lord had bats in his belfry, among other things. (Grins) Why don't you folks come along with us for a celebratory pow-wow? You'll be able to see a bit of the authentic west (grins) and we'll hear the whole story, right from the horses' mouths! (Nods at the townspeople - some are interested, some are wary) Everyone's invited who's up for comin', of course. They'll be food and dancing and music and a lot of whoopin' it up! :D
Micky: Food? I heard mention of food...
Joe: (Gets off his horse and slaps Micky on the shoulder) Boy, I like the way you think! :D
Micky: *cringes* Thanks, Joe. ;-)
Joe: (Removes his hand and frowns) What the heck happened to you, kid?
Mike: Long story, Joe. We'll tell you everything tonight.
Granny: (Whoops with delight) I'll even bring the cake and ice cream! :D
(The four Monkees, two girls, and their new friends from the town put their arms around each other happily as "Mary, Mary" launches us into a romp montage of everyone climbing into the MonkeeCarriage and driving over to the Indian Village.)
(Almost everyone from the story is there. Marissa Drake helps the Indian squaws serve food and watches Leslie and Luke as they play with the Indian children and the wayward bicycle.)
(Peter and Elizabeth sit in a corner and watch the festivities, cuddling happily.)
(Davy and Patsy give the kids rides on their horses, participate in the dances, and do a bit of kissing and cuddling themselves.)
(Dr. Drake and Jim Quilan, bandaged but hale, watch the Indian dancers, led by a delighted Micky who imagined his headdress over, a rather embarrassed Mike, and an ungraceful but delighted Joe Grayhawk. Emma and Lauren watch them, giggling and enjoying the festivities. This is intercut with scenes of the kids playing the song at the Indian Villiage with the backdrop of the valley behind them.)
Emma: (Sighs as Micky and Mike join them and the song ends) Another happy ending...and a noisy one, at that. ;)
Lauren: Yeah, that's for sure. ;-)
Mike: (Plops down beside her) I'm just happy we're all in one piece! (Puts his arms around Emma and draws her into his embrace)
Micky: *flops down next to Lauren* Mostly in one piece.
Mike: That's right. How's your shoulder, Mick?
Micky: It isn't too bad. Still sore, though.
Emma: (Nods at Lauren) You ok, Lauren? Freddy didn't try anything funny with you?
Lauren: *grins* No. I was rather expressive about not wanting him anywhere near me. *winks*
Emma: (Grins) Meaning he won't be sitting down anytime soon. ;)
Lauren: *grin widens* Bingo.
Micky: *clears his throat* Umm...there's something I've been meaning to do...
Mike: (Raises his eyebrows) What, Mick?
Emma: Hoo boy...
Lauren: *gives him an odd look* What?
Micky: *digs around in his pocket, pulls something out* Maybe it's all the excitement & everything but... *holds out a ring set in a box* Lauren, would you marry me? ;-)
Lauren: *blinks* Oh...my God...
Micky: Is that a yes or a no?
(Mike's eyes get the size of his home state, and Emma's grin is even larger.)
Emma: Well, Laur? ;)
*Lauren nods her head. It's about all she can do at the moment.*
*Micky lets rip with a very loud whoop, pulls Lauren to him, and kisses her.*
Mike: YEE HAAAWWW!!! (Leans over and gives Micky a big slap on the back as Davy, Patsy, Peter, and Elizabeth joins them)
Micky: *cringes* Mike, careful!
Emma: Awesome! (Hugs Lauren, then Micky)
Davy: What's all the excitement, mates?
Peter: Lauren's eyes are as big as saucers!
*Lauren holds her hand up, the ring on her finger.*
Peter: (Jumps up and down in excitment) That's an engagement ring! They're getting married! :D
Micky: *blushing slightly* Yeah...
(Emma and Mike just hold each other in happiness for their friends and to be alive at all.)
Davy: (Shocked) Engaged....(grins and gives Micky a big hug, making sure to be careful of his shoulder) Mick, you went and did it! I knew you had it in you!
Patsy: That's terrific!
Micky: It was nothing. I only nearly passed out. *gives a lopsided grin*
Emma: (Laughs) HE nearly passed out? You should have seen Lauren!
Elizabeth: When's the wedding?
Micky: *shrugs, exchanging questioning looks with Lauren* Didn't think that far ahead yet. *scratches his head*
Granny: (Comes over with iced tea for the group) What's all the hootin' and hollarin' over here?
Peter: Granny, Mick and Lauren are gonna get married! :D
Granny: (Winks at Micky) About time, boy! I knew you weren't lookin' at rings in my store for your own fingers! ;)
Micky: Well, there were some nice ones in there...
*Lauren slugs Micky playfully.*
Davy: (Looks over at Mike and Emma) So, Mike, when are you going to pop the question?
Mike: (He and Emma both blush) Not yet. I ain't ready to get hitched.
Emma: (Shakes her head) And we've still got a lot of things to work out.
Patsy: (Winks) Like who gets to rescue whom?
Micky: *grins* That's still number one on the list.
Emma: (Squeezes Mike's hands) We did work THAT out. We'll take turns...or help each other. ;)
Lauren: Progress! *grins*
Mike: (Nods) Even a wolf and a bear need some help! ;)
(Chief Grayhawk comes over with Dr. Drake, Odilia Sexto, and Jim Quilan.)
Dr. Drake: The marshall from Houston arrested McClurg. They talked to Josh Kingston and to Freddy and his gang. Dead-Eye and the Black Riders are going to jail on charges of murder, attempted murder, arson, attempted rape, and unlawful destruction of propery. McClurg is out on bail, but he'll never be able to work in the newspaper profession again. They're going to ask Kingston to be the editor of the paper.
Emma: (Smiles) Josh will be a wonderful head editor. (Grins) And this will make the most sensational story in the history of Clarksville! :)
Mike: (Frowns) Why didn't they ask you?
Emma: They did. I turned them down. All I've ever really wanted to do is write, not sit behind a desk and dictate orders.
Joe: The government is going to buy the land and sell it to the townspeople, so they'll never be bothered by land-grabbers like that (obscure Indian obscenities) Lord again.
Micky: *grins* Hey, I haven't heard those phrases in ages!
Odilia: My sons and I are going to stay at the schoolhouse and not only repair it, but expand it. Elizabeth's talking about taking in more kids from other schools, and maybe starting some new music programs.
Davy: I'm selling the stables to the Quilans. Jim and Patsy truly love that place (grins at the others) and I've got business elsewhere.
Jim: Pat and I are going to hire some of the people in the town to repair the south end, then see if we use the rest of the money to add more horses to what we've got left.
Patsy: (Sighs) But first, Dad and I are going for a long visit with our cousins in Oklahoma City so he can recover.
Elizabeth: I'm looking to start some new programs for the children. There's more to life than ABCs! They need fresh air and exercize, music, and imagination! I want to teach them drama, instruments, and various sports, with the cooperation of the rest of the town.
Lauren: *smiles* That sounds wonderful!
Peter: Aw, that's great, Elizabeth! You're so smart!
Elizabeth: (Gently cups Peter's chin in her hands) So are you, Peter Tork...and don't ever let anybody tell you differently!
Micky: *grinning* Awe...
(Peter turns as red as the Indians.)
Mike: Well (grins), looks like another story's come to a close. I think it's time we headed back home to the Long-Title Library.
Micky: Oh, alright. :-P
Joe: (Shakes Micky and Lauren's hand) Good luck, you two, and come around any time! We need good ceremonial dancers like you, kid! (Winks at Micky) Not to mention someone who eats more than even me! ;)
Micky: *grins widely* This is why I like it here! *pauses* Thanks, Joe!
Lauren: Thank you, Joe. *smiles*
Odilia: (Shakes Mike and Emma's hands) Thank you all for everything you've done for us!
Jim: Yeah, thanks, kids! Without you, we'd all be six feet under and there would be a casino over us!
Patsy: (Kisses Davy deeply) I'm gonna miss you, Jones. You know that.
Davy: (Smirks) I don't think I could miss it after that kiss, luv. ;)
Peter: (Cries) I don't want to leave you, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: Your place is with your bandmates. Mine is here. (Grins) But maybe you'll pass through again sometime, and you can show me how you play Bach so well! :">
Peter: Awww....
Dr. Drake: Granpa Quilan is going to be the sheriff in Micky's absense. :)
Granny: (Grins at Emma and Mike) You two come around, too! You're welcome in this town anytime, Nesmith!
Jim: You're not such a bad man, for a gunfighter!
Joe: (Grins) Just watch that mouth, Nesmith, not to mention the fire water!
Emma: (Winks) I'll keep an eye on both! ;)
(The six finally leave the others and gather in the MonkeeCarriage.)
Mike: So, where to next?
Davy: Why don't Petah, Lauren, and I get a chance to use our imaginations?
Micky: *counts on his fingers* ...And me!
Lauren: *shakes her head* Your imagination's too scary.
Mike: Well, how about the blushing bride next?
Davy: Micky, you'll be last...when we're up for surfin' and chasin' monsters. ;)
Lauren: *blushes* Mike! *pauses* Sure...
Micky: Okay, I guess I can live with that. *smiles*
Peter: Lauren and Micky, you guys are too sweet! :D
Emma: I think so, too. ;)
Lauren: Awe, c'mon! *blushes more*
Davy: Maybe we ought to get out of here, before she and Mick light up the entire valley. ;)
Micky: *drapes an arm around her* As long as she doesn't injure me again... *winks*
Mike: By the way, Em, it's my turn to save you next time. (Winks) I'm keepin' count. ;)
Emma: (Winks back) We'll see. (Closes her eyes) Ok, boys and girls and lovebirds, everyone think "MonkeeMobile and Group Back at the Long-Title Library!"
(Which they do, and the MonkeeCarriage and the group are enveloped by the familiar warm blue light...and group and carriage vanish into thin air in the dark western night.)