"Man, we've got a real storm on our hands, here," Mike said, looking out a front window.

I came up next to him. "And you guys left Raphael alone out there?!"

Mike looked at me. "Yeah, but..."

"Someone should go get him!" I said, then looked around at everyone. No one moved. "Fine, I'll do it." I grabbed my coat and one for him, went into the kitchen, and left out the backdoor.

I stopped on the porch, finding Raphael sitting, huddled in the corner. He looked at me, but said nothing. I moved closer and sat next to him. Still he said nothing, just sniffed every few seconds.

I closed my eyes momentarily. He'd been crying. I put his coat around him, and he looked at me again, with a small smile. I returned it and leaned against him. Seconds later, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I closed my eyes again and listened to his ragged breathing. I knew he didnt' want the others to see him like this, so I figured maybe I should just make myself comfortable. We're probably going to be out here for a while.


I woke up a while later and looked at my watch. It'd been over two hours since I came out, and it was completely dark now. The rain had stopped, thankfully. I listened carefully and was met with silent breathing from Raphael. He'd finally fallen asleep, too. I closed my eyes again, not wanting to wake him.

Then I felt him shift. I looked up at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," he replied, quietly. His eyes were red and his voice cracked. He just looked so drained. "Maybe we oughtta go in."

"Okay," I agreed and stood, then stretched. The porch was bit made for taking a nap on. He stood and also stretched, then we went inside. We ended up finding everyone in the living room.

Raphael stopped long enough for the others to see him, then he trudged upstairs.

I went to hang up the coats, then returned to the living room. I sat on the couch, next to Mike.

He looked at me carefully. "Where was he?"

"Sitting on the porch," I answered, then stood again. "I ought to get him something warm to drink."

"There's cocoa mix on the counter," April suggested.

"Thanks," I said, then went into the kitchen. I made two mugs of cocoa and went upstairs. The door was open an inch. "Raphael?"

I watched his fingers wrap around the edge of the door, near the bottom, then he pulled it open. He was sitting on the floor, in the same spot where he'd slept.

"I made some cocoa," I said, then handed him a mug.

Taking it, he gave me a small smile. "Thanks, Addy." he sipped it. "I dunno what happened, I just..."

I rested a hand on his arm. "I don't need an explaination, but if it would make you feel better, I'll listen."

Raphael sniffed, still warming up. "I apologized... as best I could. I don't know if I covered everything or not. I screwed up so much when I was younger, if I'd kept a list, it'd prob'ly take three life times to make up for it all." He took another sip. "They didn't say anything, did they?"

"Mike only asked where you were and I said you were sitting on the porch," I said, then took a sip. "I think they understand, Raphael."

"Addy, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I said, feeling a bit nervous.

"Could you... never stop callin' me 'Raphael'? Sensei always used our full names and it reminds me of him," he said.

The feeling dropped and I smiled. "What else would I call you?"

"Well, the guys've had alot of names for me over the years," he said, then added, "most of which I wouldn't expect a wonderful woman like you to repeat." He paused, realizing what he'd said and looked down into his mug.

"You'd be surprised," I said, then grinned at his shock.

"On second thought, maybe not," Raphael said, then finished the cocoa.

I finished mine, then took his mug, and set both on the dresser. I returned to my spot on the floor next to him. "You seem to be liking the floor a little more than the bed."

He shrugged. "I think I'm getting away from them."

"You never refused when I offered you my spare room," I said.

"You never had to wake me up. I slept on the floor alot, then," Raphael confessed. "But I could probably readjust..."

I let my eyes lock on his and the realization hit me. "You really like me, don't you?"

"'Course I like ya," he said, quickly, looking away.

I turned his head so our eyes met again. "I meant, you *really* like me." I paused a beat. "You're afraid of hurting me." He nodded his head, momentarily unable to speak. "Because you thought you lost me before."

He nodded again, but found his voice this time, "I've done alot of things I regret and I already hurt you once..."

I stopped him with a short kiss, then pulled away. "Friends can share a bed."

Raphael gave me an odd look, one I hadn't seen before from him. "You take the bed, I'd better sleep down here."


Chapter Thirty One: Donatello