I can't do this. God... why can't I do this? This wasn't fair. I want him to still be alive. I want to tell him face to face. I don't want to do it like this.
Suddenly, I heard a clap of thunder. I looked back and found I was alone. "Where the hell...?" The guys left me out here!
It started raining and I looked up. The rain felt good, almost refreshing. I wanted to leave, though, and just go inside and dry off. I turned back to face the grave again. I stared at it.
It had to be the rain. I fell to my knees, crying. It just wasn't fair. "Master..." I sniffed, then continued, my voice cracking, "I'm sorry, Sensei. I really am. God, I don't know how you put up with me. I was a real ass. But, I'm tryin' to be better. Lookit, I'm cryin' here." I looked down and ran a hand over my face. "I realized it too late, Sensei. I never made my apologies. I was too damn proud. Now, it's too late. You're gone..." A sob escaped my lips, then I looked up at the sky, letting the rain mix with the tears. "Why?" It came out barely a whisper. I dropped my head into my hands and let the tears fall.