It's a few hours after Lenny proposed to Laverne and Shirley came back. For the past few hours she was just sitting at Cowboy Bill's writing in her diary what had happened. Sad, I know, but you'd do the same if you had made out with your best friend's fiancee. She came back and sat on the stairs outside for a while. She walks inside and into the apartment. Laverne comes running down the stairs with a big grin on her face.

Laverne: Shirl! Guess what?
Shirley: (with a weak smile) What Vernie?
Laverne: (shows off her hand) Lenny proposed to me!

(they start screaming and jumping around and barely hear the phone ring. Shirley picks it up and screams into the phone)

Shirley: Laverne DeFazio's getting married!!
Carmine: (on the other end of the line) Yeah, I know that, Len just called me.
Shirley: Carmine?! Carmine darling, is that you?
Carmine: Yeah it's me!
Shirley: I can barely hear you!
Carmine: Well that could be because I'm in a hotel room with 20 girls! Would you girls be quiet?! Yes it's my girlfriend. No you can't kill her! Shh, girls, be quiet! Okay, sorry Shirl.
Shirley: Getting ready for the competition, huh Carmine?
Carmine: Yeah. I suppose you're getting ready for the wedding?
Shirley: Well, not really. I mean, I guess we will be, but right now all that's happenin' is Laverne's walkin' around with this odd look in her eyes, bumpin' into walls and things like that.
Carmine: Put that shoe away! Don't hit her with it, give me that. Sorry Shirl, they can't kill you so they're killing each other.
Shirley: Lovely children.
Carmine: My mom asked about you. She wanted to know when we're gonna get married.
Shirley: Don't tell me she gave you the grandchild speech again.

(Laverne grabs the phone away)

Laverne: Carmine, did ya hear? I'm gettin' married, and I want you to be the best man!
Carmine: Aww, that's great, I'm honored. Look, put Shirl back on again.

(Laverne hands the phone to Shirley)

Carmine: Angelface, I love you, I'll call you tomorrow, alright?
Shirley: Alright, bye Carmine! Love you too. Don't say that, there's children there! But we will do that as soon as you get back. Bye!

(she hangs up the phone and turns to Laverne who's looking at her with a "do what?" look on her face)

Shirley: (smacks Laverne in the head) Stop it!
Laverne: Alright. Umm, let's see, I gotta get a dress and I gotta find a church and I gotta get flowers and... you are gonna be my maid of honor, aren't ya Shirl?!
Shirley: Yes, of course!
Laverne: Okay, I'm gonna go upstairs and make a list.

(Laverne runs upstairs, when Lenny walks in)

Lenny: Hiya Shirl. Is Laverne around?
Shirley: She's upstairs Len.
Lenny: Oh, well I'll just wait for her down here. (he sits on the couch beside Shirley, and they feel sort of awkward together so Lenny tries to break the ice) Ya think she's excited? (Shirley gives a weak smile and nods, then there's another pause) Shirl?
Shirley: I know, I know. I can't take this anymore.
Lenny: Well at least it's over, you know, we don't like each other or nothin'.

(they start leaning in towards each other again mumbling in)

Shirley: Yeah, we both have someone we're going steady with.
Lenny: Then why do I wanna kiss you so bad?

(temptation wins out and they have one long passionate kiss and start to lie down on the couch when they stop)

Shirley: Why did we just do that?
Lenny: I don't know. But it felt good, for some reason.
Shirley: Yeah.

(they lunge at each other and he wraps his arms around her. They lie down on the couch, running their fingers through each other's hair. Things are getting pretty wild. So wild, they fall on the floor. Shirley slowly peels off Lenny's jacket. They're about to ::cough, cough::...when who should walk downstairs but Laverne! No, go back upstairs! Go back upstairs! Why ain't you listenin'! Go! No don't come down here go!)

Laverne: (While walking down the stairs) Hey Shirl, did you...(she sees Lenny and Shirley on the floor, doing more than Shirley would have ever thought about doing with Carmine.   Lenny unbuttons Shirley's blouse and throws it behind him. Laverne catches it. Oh boy, is she mad. Lenny and Shirley realize they heard her voice and jump up) Well, well, well, well, well.
Shirley: Uh... uh...

(Laverne sort of stands there, her jaw dropping. She rolls up her sleeves and is about to peel Shirley's head off. She starts to run for her but Lenny get's between them and holds her back)

Lenny: La... Laverne! Stop, stop, no don't kill her, La... (she punches him in the stomach, he falls to the floor and she goes straight for Shirley)
Laverne: How could you do this to me?!
Shirley: I... I...
Laverne: You've been my best friend since 5th grade! How could you do this to me?!
Shirley: Laverne, I'm sorry!!
Laverne: I don't have to take this. I'm gonna call Carmine and tell him!
Shirley: Wait just a minute Laverne Marie DeFazio!

(Laverne turned around and looks at her with a "looks that could kill" face)

Shirley: Remember Milwaukee 5 years ago? You made out with Carmine!
Laverne: And you decide to get revenge now with the man I'm engaged with? How could you?
Lenny: It wasn't her fault..... well, not all of it.
Laverne: And you? I thought I could trust you, more than any guy before! And what do you do? You double cross me with that!
Shirley: 'That'? I'll give you that. (Shirley curls up her little fist and punches Laverne in the jaw. Laverne drops to the floor.) There, I gave you that!
Lenny: What did you do?! (kneeling down beside of Laverne and holding her in his arms) Laverne, wake up, wake up! Well, don't just stand there, do somethin'!   C'mon sweetheart, wake up, c'mon.
Shirley: Well I don't know what to do about a person in this condition!

(Lavenre starts to wake up) Oh, she's waking up!

Lenny: How do you feel Laverne?
Laverne: (she starts to cry) Why, Lenny, why?! Why you and Shirl?!

(she starts sobbing and runs up the stairs. Lenny and Shirley look down at the floor feeling like real heels.)

Lenny: I'm gonna go, I'll see ya around, okay?
Shirley: Bye Len.

Shirley looks around the room and finds her blouse. She buttons it up and sits on the couch like the world has just ended. Wait a second. Why should she be depressed? I mean, Laverne necked with Carmine! This is just making things even, right? She walks up the stairs and slams the door open. It hits the wall and slams back in her face. She opens it and marches in.)

Shirley: Laverne!
Laverne: What do you want? Wanna tell me you necked with Sal or something?
Shirley: You have no right to be angry. When me and Carmine were going steady in Milwaukee you necked with him! And I took it lying down! Well not anymore. We're even now!
Laverne: But you weren't engaged to Carmine. I was engaged to Lenny! So don't tell me it's the same 'cause it ain't!

(Shirley sits on her bed and looks at Laverne)

Shirley: I'm real sorry Laverne.
Laverne: You're sorry? Sorry ain't gonna cut it! And what if I hadn't caught you two? But most of all, what would Carmine say? His little not so angelic anymore face making out almost vodeodohdohing with another guy!
Shirley: You leave Carmine outta this! (Laverne starts to go downstairs) Where are you going?! Where are you going?!
Laverne: To call Carmine. (she runs down the stairs to the phone and Shirley chases her)
Shirley: Come here! Come here! (Laverne picks up the phone and starts to dial) You wouldn't dare!
Laverne: Hello, gimme Carmine Ragusa.
Shirley: Hang up that phone right now!
Laverne: Carmine, this is Laverne! I don't care if you have 20 girls chasing you around the room! This can't wait. Yeah, I'll wait. Okay, brace yourself. Shirl...
Shirl: Don't you dare Laverne Marie DeFazio! Don't you dare!
Carmine: (on the other line) Don't you dare what? (turns to the girls) Be quiet girls!
Laverne: Shirl.....

(Shirley looks at Laverne with her eyes begging 'Please don't tell him'. She looks at the phone and hears Carmine's muffled voice shouting at the girls to sit down so he can hear Laverne. She knows what she's doing is something no one else would do, but she's gonna do it anyway)

Laverne: Shirl really misses you Carmine, do you think you could come back earlier?
Carmine: (with a surprised voice) Really? Well I'll see, maybe I could leave a day or two early. But why didn't she tell me?
Laverne: Why didn't she tell you, why didn't she tell you? She's washing her hair, but oh, she's here, hold on.

(gives the phone to Shirley who's looking at her like 'Thank you so much, I'm so sorry') (Laverne makes gagging noises)

Shirley: Alright, Laverne's getting sick, I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Bye. Love ya lots. (Shirley hangs up the phone. Stands there for a while, then falls on her hands and knees. And goes over to Laverne.) Oh, thank you Laverne! Thank you!
Laverne: Aw, get up Shirl, would ya?
Shirley: (gets up) I don't understand it Laverne, why did you do that?
Laverne: Because... because... because you're my best friend and you know it.
Shirley: Then I don't understand it Laverne, why do you hate me? There's nothing going on between me and Lenny, it was just... a kiss.
Laverne: Just a kiss?! Shirl, there were clothes flyin' everywhere! And you wanna call that just a kiss?!
Shirley: Well what would you call it?
Laverne: No, no, not call it. Call Carmine!

(Shirley rips the plug out of the wall)

Laverne: I knew you'd do that. Now Carmine can't call you!

(Shirley stares at the phone plug in her hand with some pieces of plaster still attached.)

Laverne: I would call what you did vo deo doh ing!

(they stare at each other and then get into their little fight position, they start mumbling at each other. Shirley goes straight for Laverne but Laverne dodges her. Laverne takes Shirley's face and pushes her down to the floor. Shirley grabs Laverne's ankles and pulls her beside of her. She grabs Laverne's face. They fall down on the floor and are rolling around beating each other up. They roll into a wall. Laverne starts beating Shirley against the wall)

Shirley: (screaming) Okay! I give up! (they let each other go and both of them stand up, Laverne walks toward the door) Where are you going?! Laverne, where are you going?!
Laverne: To see Lenny.
Shirley: Why are you going to see Lenny?
Laverne: To be with someone who actually cares about my feelings, that's why!

(She sticks her tounge out at Shirley, walks out, and slams the door)

Shirley: Well fine! Go ahead and run to Lenny!

(Laverne pokes her head into the apartment)

Laverne: At least I have someone to run to!

(she puts an evil smile and walks out)

Shirley: Well, it's just you and me Boo Boo Kitty.

(she picks it up and sits on the couch) What do you wanna do? Read a story? How about.... the Pokey Little Puppy?

(she digs the book out from under the couch cushions and starts to read)

Part 4!