Emma: Ok, ladies and gentlemen, I'm ready. You boys all ready?
Peter: I'm ready!
Mike: (Grumbles something like "ready")
Davy: Ready over here, luv!
Micky: Aw, c'mon Mike! *grins*
Lauren: Sounds good to me!
Emma: Well...let's go!
Sir Brighton: I'd be advised not to go into that wood, if I were you! (Points to a thick, dark forest) Our dear knights of the Realm vanished in that forest searching for the four Jewels of the Kingdom. The wicked sorceror Alakazam rules the forest and keeps the jewels hidden. A prophecy states that only those with a kind heart, a savage heart, a clever heart, and a foreign heart will lead our two saviors to the jewels and the restoration of the kingdom!
Emma: (Looks over her shoulder) Gee, I wonder who he could mean by the savage heart, etc, stuff?
Lauren: Gee, I wonder.
Mike: (Sighs) That means we're going into that wood, right?
Peter: (Hides behind Mike) Do we have to? It looks awfully spooky!
Emma: Four knights? (Sighs) Here we go with more doubles!
Micky: Hey, Pete, we're here to protect you from anything that might go *bump* in the night!
Lauren: Doubles? Oh boy!
Mike: Look at it this way, Peter. I don't think we have much of a choice. There doesn't seem to be anywhere else TO go.
Emma: (Ignores Mike's lack of enthusiasm) Well, then, let's charge! (Takes a step, trips over a rock, lands on her face) Ow. Darn knee still hurts...
Mike: That thing still looks like it went one-on-one with Muhammad Ali?
Emma: Well, it's scabbing, but it's still bruised.
Lauren: I guess we'd better be extra careful on this trek.
Micky: Emma, you want Mike to carry you? *grins*
Emma: (Tosses her shoulder-length waves) That will NOT be necessary.
(Mike mutters things about uppity girls and storms ahead)
Micky: *teasing* Are you suuuure?
Emma: I'm fine, Curlylocks.
*Micky grumps.*
Lauren: I like that name! *Scratches her head* Storms?
Peter: Yeah, I thought I saw a thundercloud following Mike!
Emma: Why don't you carry Lauren instead?
Micky: Okay! *picks up Lauren and shifts her over his shoulder*
Lauren: Hey, what a great view of your butt!
(The other five follow Mike into the dark, scary forest. There's nothing but trees and foliage for miles around, and not a shaft of light is to be seen. Micky continues to carry Lauren. Peter hides behind Emma, Davy following. Mike is nowhere to be seen.)
Micky: Could've used some flashlights.
Davy: You'd need blinkin' searchlights to find your way around here!
Peter: What happened to Michael?
Emma: God damn Mike and his stubbornness! He got himself lost, the big idiot!
Lauren: *mutters* Boy, are you two made for each other.
Emma: My sense of direction isn't that bad!
Micky: I think she meant your vocabulary.
Emma: I'm the daughter of two sailors and a former barmaid. It comes with the territory. I have a selection of blue language that would make you cringe, Dolenz. I just don't usually choose to employ it unless I'm upset.
Micky: Eeeep.
Peter: (Clings to Emma's shirt) What if that mean wizard got Michael?
Emma: We've only been here for ten minutes. I doubt anyone besides our knight is aware of our presense yet.
Micky: I got a sure fire way of finding out if Mike's nearby or not. *takes a deep breath, then yells* MIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Emma: (Cringes) Well, I'm sure everyone is aware of our presence now. They probably heard that back in the Library!
Lauren: What?
Davy: Oh, great, Micky, she's deaf!
Emma: (Takes a deep sniff) I smell something. Something like...cookies.
Davy: (Sniffs) And chocolate.
Peter: And cotton candy.
Lauren: Cookies! *pauses* I hear a ringing.
(The four, plus Lauren still being carried, wander into a clearing. A little house made all of candy, cookies, cakes, pastries, and chocolate stands amid chocolate shavings and gum-drop trees.)
Micky: *gawks* Wow.
Emma: Who the heck dumped a candy store in the middle of the woods?
Lauren: Hey, I can't see! What is it? *squirms*
*Micky grudgingly puts Lauren down*
Lauren: Oh my goodness!
Davy: Don't look a gift house in the mouth, luv!
Emma: (Grabs Davy before he runs to the house) There's something wrong here.
Peter: Yeah, we didn't bring silverware!
Micky: *eyes get wide* Who cares about silverware!?
Emma: Micky, don't! (Micky is already barreling ahead to the house. The others follow as he breaks off a large piece of gingerbread and eats it greedily.)
Lauren: Save some for us, Mick!
Peter: You'll get a tummy ache if you eat it that fast!
Micky: *says something with his mouth full*
Emma: Swallow before speaking, young man! That's rude!
Lauren: *backs away* Eew, chew with your mouth closed!
Micky: *swallows* I said I always eat like this! *pulls off some more*
Emma: (Looks in) Holy cow! (Runs in. The others follow, except for Micky, who is still eating.)
(The room is filled with fowl-smelling potions, odd herbs in earthenware pottery, and various odd-colored jars. Mike sits forlornly in a cage in one side of the room.)
Lauren: *gasps* Mike!
Emma: (Runs to the cage) What the HELL made you run off like that?
Mike: I know it was stupid, but I was mad.
*Lauren, Davy, and Peter follow Emma in the house.*
Peter: Look at all this stuff!
Mike: Peter, don't play with that! That belongs to the wizard and his people.
Lauren: Looks like a twisted version of Micky's chemistry set.
(Emma grabs a potion out of Peter's hand before he can swallow it.)
Emma: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to drink possibly hazardous substances?
Davy: You can look, but don't touch!
Peter: Awww! (Looks avidly over some of the jars and potions)
Emma: (Reads the labels) Eye of newt, bat's wings, dragon's blood, ground unicorn's hoof. What the heck is this, the Harry Potter reject shop? (Turns to Mike, realizing) Wizard and his people?
Lauren: *turns away from some jars* This is not doing anything good for my stomach.
Mike: Yeah, he looks like your standard old-guy wizard, silvery-white beard, hat, the whole nine yards, but he has these four demon-like things with him. They look like something out of one of those American International B horror films, all drooling and hairy and big claws and wings and red eyes. That's how I got in here. I couldn't outrun 'em.
Emma: Well, how do we get you OUT of there?
Mike: Sorry, but Mr. Wizard has the keys.
Lauren: Anybody have a crowbar?
Davy: 'Ow bout a blowtorch?
Peter: *perks up* Mr. Wizard? Where?
Emma: He means Alakazam, the bad wizard who stole the Jewels. I'll bet you anything this is his place.
Mike: Gee, Em, what made you think that?
(Emma sticks her tongue out at Mike.)
Lauren: And we're standing here wasting time! Let's free Mike & get the heck outta here!
Peter: (Whimpers) And where's Micky?
Lauren: *calling outside* Mick!
Emma: Still eating, as far as I know. (Picks up a potion) I have an idea. Mike, get as far back as you can. (Throws the bottle on the bars. They dissolve instantly. She grins) Extra-strength rust remover. Works every time.
Davy: Very nice!
Mike: Well, I don't feel like having anything else thrown at me. Let's get Micky before he makes himself sick and get out of here.
(Two huge, hulking, demon-creatures barge through the door. One carries Micky by his poncho. Micky just looks embarrased.)
Emma: Good lord allmighty!
Micky: Hi, guys *gives a meek wave*
Mike: As you can see, I wasn't kiddin' about the demons.
Lauren: Hey, put him down!
Micky: Don't say that! *waves his hands*
(One demon shoots a bolt of black energy straight through a wall, barely missing Davy and Emma.)
Emma: Shit!
Davy: That was a waste of perfectly good gingerbread!
Lauren: Duck and cover!
Demon 1: Oh no you don't, young lady. (Takes Lauren's arm.) Master is very interested in you and your friends.
Micky: Hey, Big and Ugly, let her go! *struggles, but doesn't get anywhere*
Emma: (Grabs a potion) Hey ugly, duck this! (Thows it at him. Hits him square in the face, which turns an interesting shade of blue.) Grab all the potions you can find and throw!
Micky: Just watch where you throw those things! *shields his face*
(The demons let go of Lauren and Micky as a flurry of bottles are thrown their way, to the tune of "Randy Scouse Git." The monsters turn several odd colors, start speaking Shakespeare, grow flowers on their heads and chests, do tap-dances, and sing the theme from "The Monkees," all intercut with scenes of the guys playing the song in the pad.)
*Lauren and Micky scramble away*
Mike: We can't keep doin' this forever!
Davy: We're running out of potions!
Peter: And the wizard isn't going to like his house being a mess!
Emma: Everyone stand back!
Lauren: Gladly!
Emma: (Grabs a large bottle and throws it as hard as she can. Smoke surrounds the monsters) Everyone out the window!
(The six climb out the magic-blast-widened window as the monsters continue coughing. Micky can't resist grabbing another bit of gingerbread as they hurry off.)
Mike: (Grabs Micky by his neck) Eat later, run now!
Micky: I can't help it if I'm hungry! *runs*
Peter: Hey guys, look! (Points over his shoulder at the former "monsters," which are now a pair of very cute black bunnies.) Can I keep them?
Emma: (Takes Peter by the arm) No, you don't know if they're housebroken. Besides, the spell probably isn't permanent.
Micky: You know who'd end up taking care of them? *points at himself*
Eeeeeeevil Voice: How true, young warrioress. The animalia spell is not permanent. The rabbits will be themselves in a matter of minutes.
Lauren: *looks around* Okay, that was scary!
(Mike stops suddenly; the other five run into him, knocking him to the ground. A tall man with a long, silvery beard, long hair, and thick eyebrows stares down at them.)
Micky: Yipe!
Wizard: How amusing. (Watches as the group untangle themselves.) I've already had the pleasure of meeting the taller youth in the strange hat. He has quite a mouth on him, that one.
Emma: (Gets up and dusts herself off) You must be Alakazam.
Wizard: How perceptive, warrioress. I am, indeed, Alakazam, greatest wizard in all the land, and soon-to-be king.
Mike: What makes you think that, shotgun?
Alakazam: The four knights were to inherit the kingdom from the aging king when they found the Jewels. They are currently in dispose, so the kingdom will go to me, the king's loyal advisor.
Mike: Or not-so-loyal. I'll bet you did something to those knights.
*Micky and Lauren take bets*
Davy: You let those knights go! They never did anything to you!
Alakazam: (Zaps Davy, who now has a piece of metal over his mouth) Feisty little brat, isn't he?
Emma: Where's the Jewels?
Micky: *pries at the metal over Davy's mouth* Hey?!
Alakazam: I like you, young lady. You come directly to the point. I'm hardly going to tell you where they're hidden. What fun would that be?
Lauren: *frowns* None, I bet.
Mike: Fun? You want fun? (Puts up his fists) I'll show you fun Texas-style!
Emma: (Pushes Mike's fists down) What if we made a deal with you?
Alakazam: A deal, young lady?
Emma: If we can find the four Jewels, you have to release the knights and give up your claim on the kingdom.
Alakazam: And if you can't?
Emma: (Takes a large breath) You can do what you wish with us.
Mike: WHAT???!!! NO!
*Lauren gulps. Micky puts an arm around Lauren's shoulders*
Alakazam: (Laughs mirthlessly) You are a brave one, aren't you, warrioress? All right, it's a deal.
Emma: But you can't interfere with us.
Alakazam: Why would I do something like that?
Peter: You're the bad guy!
Micky: It comes with the territory.
Alakazam: Precisely, wild-haired one.
*Micky subconsciously runs a hand through his curls*
Emma: Where do we find these Jewels?
Alakazam: The first is nature's bounty, the Green Tree Emerald. The second, the glory of fire and heat, the Desert Sun Ruby. The third, the Aquatic Sapphire, and the fourth, the strong-but-gentle Aero Diamond.
Mike: And this tells us?
Alakazam: All I will tell you, tall mouthy boy. (Waves his hand and takes the metal off of Davy's mouth.)
Emma: Elements. Cute.
*Davy touches his fingers to his freed mouth*
Mike: Yeah, but where do we find the first one?
Micky: In a tree?
Alakazam: Where the trees have no life, the animals have no love, and the grass has no color. (Fades in a swirl of glittering black sparkles) Farewell, my young soon-to-be slaves!
Emma: (Shivers) Pleasant fellow, wasn't he?
Mike: I've met rattlesnakes I liked more.
Lauren: *moans* I hate riddles!
Peter: (Cries) I wanna go home!
Mike: May I remind you that this was all your idea in the first place, Pete?
Micky: *tries to figure out the riddle* So, if the grass is greener on the other side...
Emma: Let's keep walking. Might do our brains some good.
Lauren: *glances at Micky* We'll see about that.
(Emma giggles as Micky shoots Lauren a look.)
*Lauren shrugs.*
(The six continue through the brush and trees, tripping over logs and each other, when they notice that things seem strange.)
Micky: Things sure look strange! *turns himself completely around while looking about*
Emma: Look at this!
Mike: None of these trees have any leaves, even the pines and junipers!
Peter: (Cringes at the sound of squwaks) All of the animals are angry with each other. They think one animal or the other destroyed their home. They all hate each other!
Davy: (Holds up a blade of dull grass) The grass has no color. It's all gray and brown.
Emma: And I thought I was a bad gardener.
Lauren: Hey, I have a feeling that first jewel may be near by!
Mike: Me too, Lauren. (Looks around) Anyone got any idea of where it could be?
Emma: Everyone, spread out and search every nook and cranny!
Micky: Like I said before, in a tree!
Mike: (Sticks his hand in a tree and immediately pulls it out with several Spanish curses) Sorry, ma'am! Didn't know that was your home! (Quieter) Damn squirrels!
Emma: Mike, that tree is glowing!
Mike: So's my hand!
Davy: This isn't that Power Monkees thing, is it?
Lauren: I hope not.
(Mike opens his hand to reveal a large, bright green emerald in the shape of a heart.)
Micky: *breathes out* Coooool!
Emma: El corazone!
Mike: Where'd you learn Spanish?
Emma: "Romancing the Stone."
*Lauren raises an eyebrow.*
Emma: The "stone" of the title was the jewel they were searching for, "The Heart."
Peter: Hey, look, everyone! It's getting greener!
(The trees and grass seem to explode in greens of every shade, from bright green-yellow to deepest pine-green. The animals stop screeching and hug each other. Hoof-beats can be heard)
Emma: Damn, look at this place! Ireland isn't greener!
Peter: (Picks a bouquet of lovely yellow flowers) And I'll bet it isn't prettier, either!
*Lauren runs her hand over the grass.*
Davy: The grass is nice and soft now!
Mike: Guys, look! (Points as several horse-like creatures with long, glowing horns run into the clearing.)
Emma: Unicorns!
Davy: They're beautiful!
Lauren: My goodness!
Micky: I wanna ride one! *Lauren elbows him.*
Unicorn 1: Thank you, kind warriors and warrioresses, for saving our home.
Emma: She talked. The unicorn talked.
Lauren: If I was the type to faint, I would right now. *gapes*
Unicorn 2: Of course, we talk! Doesn't everybody?
Unicorn 3: (Nudges her friend) I don't think they've ever seen the likes of us before, Sunshine.
Unicorn 4: Nor will they again. We six are the last of our kind.
Unicorn 1: The terrible Alakazam placed a spell on this jewel to keep it hidden from us and our master.
Emma: Master? We've heard that word a lot today.
Unicorn 5: Our master is Lord Halsten, ruler of the Green Forests...or was, before he disappeard, along with his brothers.
Lauren: Halsten? That sounds familiar.
Unicorn 1: Goodness, ladies, where are our manners? (Indicates herself) I am Lilac. (Points at each unicorn in turn) My friends are Sunshine, Rosemary, Applejack, Dafodil, and Petunia.
Peter: Halsten? I know that name. (Scratches his head.)
Applejack: (Rubs Peter) This one resembles our lost master!
Emma: The four knights who vanished!
Sunshine: (Nudges Micky) This one's cute! Can I keep him?
Lilac: Sunny, he's not a pet!
*Micky turns bright red. Lauren puts an arm around Micky's waist.*
Rosemary: Sunny, I believe the fuzzy one is already taken.
Mike: Sorry, ladies, but we're just passin' through.
Emma: We're looking for the lost jewels and your masters.
Dafodil: (Thoughtfully) They ALL look familiar!
(Davy plays with Petunia, who nuzzles him affectionately.)
Petunia: Are you sure we can't keep them?
Davy: I think I like this one!
Emma: Ladies, you wouldn't know how to get out of this forest, would you?
Lilac: Why, of course we would!
Petunia: Do they have to go so soon? If this one were a unicorn, I think I'd marry him!
(Davy blushes. The others chuckle.)
Mike: The Casanova of the Long-Title Library has made another conquest, and she ain't even human!
Micky: *grins* Big surprise.
Emma: We only have so much time to find the Jewels, ladies, but we promise, we WILL find them and your Lord Halsten.
Applejack: (Peter feeds her leftover sugar from the candy house; between bites) I STILL say this one reminds me of Master Halsten!
Peter: Aww, go on, Apple!
Lilac: If you want to leave the forest, all you have to do is mount and leave the driving to us!
*Micky whoops with glee.*
Davy: (Points at four familar and ugly forms in the skies above the forest) It's those monsters again!
Lauren: Talk about terrible timing!
Rosemary: We must leave quickly, then! Those hideous beasts have killed many animals and humans in the forests!
(Emma mounts Rosemary, Mike mounts Lilac, Peter mounts Applejack, Davy mounts Petunia, Micky mounts Dafodil, Lauren mounts Sunshine, and all six ride through the trees, pursued rapidly by the monsters to the tune of 'Goin' Down.' Micky and Davy keep showing off, Emma clutches Rosemary for dear life, Mike looks over his shoulder, and Peter pats Applejack comfortingly.)
Davy: We have to lose them somehow!
Mike: Persistant buggers, ain't they?
Lauren: I'm just worried about staying *on*!
Emma: My rear end is never going to feel the same again! No offense, Rosie, but I hate horseback riding!
Davy: Nothing to it, luv. You just gotta hold on.
Lauren: *closes her eyes* That's all I *can* do!
Emma: (Mutters) YOU can say that. YOU used to be a jockey. Some of us are deathly afraid of real horses!
Peter: (Gets a good look at one as it breathes in his face just as Applejack charges on) Guys, that last one looked familar!
Mike: Yeah, kind of like a nightmare I once had.
Peter: He looks kinda like... (Applejack charges ahead before Peter can inspect the creature more closely)
Lilac: Follow me, sisters! I know where we may lose them!
Lauren: I hope it's close by! *peeks one eye open*
(The six unicorns come to the edge of a gorge. A large expanse of sand, cliffs, and tumbleweeds stretches beyond the gorge.)
Micky: Why do I feel like Wile E. Coyote all of a sudden?
Lilac: (As Mike dismounts) Hide in one of those caves between the rocks! We'll hold them off here.
Peter: Can't you come with us?
Sunshine: We can't leave the Land of the Green Forests.
Petunia: We'll lose our powers if we do!
Rosemary: (As Emma painfully dismounts) But we have friends who may be able to help you! (Hands Emma the Emerald) Show this to Prometheous, who lives at the base of the Parched Mountains. They are the helpers of Lord George, ruler of the Lands of the Desert Sun!
Davy: (Eyes Micky) Lord George? Why is this starting to sound more familiar by the minute?
Lauren: *echoes* George? *raises an eyebrow; Micky's eyes widen.*
Applejack: The Emerald has magical powers which revolve around nature and lightning. Anyone who holds it while harmed will be instantly healed.
(The others dismount as wild shrieks are heard.)
Lilac: Get down there! Good luck!
Rosemary: We'll hold them off!
Petunia: (Nudges Davy) Don't forget me!
Davy: (Gives her a kiss on her cheek) I won't, luv! (The four take off down the hill as the six unicorns confront the demon creatures. Sounds of wild neighing and shrieks are heard as they tumble helter-skelter down the gorge and into a large cave between two cliffs.)
Lauren: *grumbles* Well, *that* was fun.
Emma: (As everyone plops down on the dirt ground to catch their breath) Ok, if everyone's reletively safe and accounted for, we need to talk.
Mike: No kiddin', shotgun.
Micky: *shakes dirt out of his hair* Man...
Peter: I hope the unicorns are ok. They were nice!
Davy: If only Petunia was human...
Emma: (Sighs) Did you see those sharp horns? If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if the demons have a few holes in them by now!
Mike: Do those four rulers sound familar to you guys, or is it just me?
Emma: They sound entirely too familiar.
Lauren: *nods* Definitely familiar.
Emma: No wonder Alakazam was so interested in you guys. You're being here really throws a monkey wrench, so to speak, into his plans.
Micky: Nice pun
Emma: Thank you.
Mike: It's getting dark. I don't think we're going to be able to go anywhere else tonight. We'll look for this Prometheous in the mornin'.
Davy: (As Emma gets up) Where you goin', luv?
Emma: I'm going to find a cave for Lauren and me. I'm not sleeping with four guys!
*Lauren glances at Micky.*
Mike: I don't think you should be out there alone.
Emma: Why not?
Mike: Oh, we're just being chased by four slobbering monsters and a wizard who could kick us all to hell and gone in five minutes or less, that's all!
Davy: (Gazes at Lauren and Micky, who cuddle and smooch) I don't think they're going anywhere soon.
Peter: I'd feel safer if we all stuck together.
Emma: Fine! (Goes to one corner of the cave) I get this side.
Mike: Did you get rock up your ass when you came down the hill, girl?
Emma: (Under her breath) At least I don't go running off and getting myself captured.
Mike: This whole thing wasn't my idea!
Emma: Why did you come, then?
Mike: (Mutters) Didn't want you fools goin' off and gettin' yourselves hurt.
*Davy watching the volley.*
Peter: Guys, don't fight!
Micky: Why not? I think they're really good at it!
*Lauren snickers*
Peter: We won't get anywhere if we don't at least try to get along!
(Emma mutters curses in French under her breath.)
Mike: What was that, girl?
Emma: Don't call me "girl." I'm the oldest one here!
*Lauren tries to remember her French; doesn't remember learning curses.*
Mike: If you're going to use bad language, could you at least have the decency to say it in English?
Emma: Ok, you're an asshole.
Micky: *smirks and claps* Yeah!
Mike: And you're a stubborn little bitch.
Davy: Come on, now...
Emma: Jerk!
Mike: Brat!
Peter: (Gets between them) Oh, come on, be nice! You do know how to be nice to each other, right?
Lauren: Uh, oh. *puts a hand over her face*
Micky: Careful, Big Peter.
Emma: (Under her breath) I was being nice, before he opened his mouth.
Peter: Mike, you go there (points at one side of the cave) and Em, you go there (points to the other side), and you don't come out until you're using nice words and have thought about what you've said. We're all friends here, and if we want to find the Jewels and the knights, we have to get along!
(Both huff off to their respective sides, grumbling in French and Spanish under their breaths. Emma huddles against the wall. Mike lays down and turns on one side, his rear facing Emma.)
Micky: That's a lovely sight. *turns away from looking at Mike*
Lauren: *shakes her head* They are too much alike for their own good.
Davy: And if we're not careful, they may end up killing each other before the demons do.
Peter: Lauren, maybe you ought to talk to her. I'll talk to Mike. We can't have them fighting the whole time.
Lauren: I'll give it a shot. *goes over to Emma*
(Emma draws in the dirt with her finger, ignoring everyone else. Mike pretends to snore.)
Emma: I wish I had something to read. (Sighs) I really blew it, didn't I?
Lauren: *nods* Yeah.
Emma: I didn't mean to start on him, but damn it, he's so stubborn!
Lauren: I think we're all a little on edge.
Emma: It just happened. (Eyes start to water) Damn it, I can't cry around him!
Lauren: *sighs* It's okay. *pats her on the back*
Emma: I don't want to be some weak little kid who can't do anything, and that's how he thinks of me! (Wipes her eyes fiercely)
Lauren: That isn't how he thinks of you!
Emma: Why not? Most people do!
Lauren: At the worst, he thinks you got a mean temper in you!
Emma: Well, we all knew that.
Lauren: *smirks* You know, you two could be twins, considering how alike you are.
Emma: (Looks up) Alike? (Quiet) I guess...I never thought of it that way.
Lauren: Head-strong, with fiery tempers.
Emma: Two protective bears.
Lauren: Mother and father
Emma: (Pause, then quietly) I guess I could let up on him a little.
Lauren: I'll bet he decides the same.
Emma: He's so damn stubborn, but I guess I am, too, huh?
Lauren: Weeeell...
Emma: I have to learn to give and take. Everyone's always telling me that. Too many years of living alone, I guess.
Lauren: That's why we're here! Heck, I'm not one who gives pep talks, and look at me!
Emma: I'm glad you are. All of you! (Hugs Lauren, then looks over at where Mike and Peter talk quietly) Even Mike. (Smiles at Lauren) Thanks, Lauren. You're a true friend.
Lauren: You're welcome! *returns hug* Now, we wait and see how Peter does.
Mike: (Gets up slowly, not looking at the girls) Emma, I...I'm sorry I blew up at you.
Emma: (Also slowly) That's ok, Mike. Lauren's right. We're all on edge.
(Lauren returns to Micky, who's been watching the whole scene quietly with Davy. The other four drift to sleep, Lauren in Micky's arms, as Mike and Emma chat into the night.
(The group sets out the next morning in a vast desert world. There is no vegetation for miles, only cliffs, sand, rattlesnakes, and the occasional cacti.)
Emma: (Fans herself) Boy, what I wouldn't give to be in the Wildwood Acme now! I bet my customers wouldn't complain about the store being cold if they were stuck out here for a few hours!
Micky: *kicks at the sand* There isn't even any tumbleweed!
Mike: I don't see no mountains.
Peter: They have to be around here somewhere!
Davy: Mountains can't get up and walk away!
Lauren: *fans herself* Okay guys, just pick me up on your way back around. *sits with a *thud* on the sand*
Emma: Oh no, you don't! (Emma grabs Lauren and tries to pull her back to her feet, but she won't budge.)
Lauren: No. No way. Uh uh. Not moving.
Davy: I'm with 'er. (Plops down next to Lauren on the sand.)
Peter: (Pulls at Mike's rolled-up sleeve) Mike...
Mike: Not now, Peter!
Micky: *shrugs* May as well join the party. *plops himself next to Lauren*
Emma: (Whines) Come on, you guys! This is no time to take a nap!
Lauren: It's hotter than heck out here! *fans herself again*
Peter: (More insistant) Mike!
Mike: What IS it, Pete?
Peter: (Points at several snake-like, winged forms in the air) Dragons! And they're coming our way!
Emma: Dragons?
Lauren: *groans* Oh, great.
Mike: (Shades his eyes and looks up) Well, they're too big to be the demons, that's for sure. They look like flyin' rattlesnakes.
Peter: What if they eat us?
Emma: Then we'll be no worse or better off than we are now.
Davy: I bet it'd be cooler inside a dragon!
Micky: *makes a face* That's a lovely thought.
(One dragon lands besides the six weary travelers. Peter screams and runs behind Mike, and Emma gets closer to him.)
Lauren: Whoa.
Dragon: Welcome, travelers. (Looks over at the group on ground and gasps) Your Royal Highness, you've returned! How did you escape the Wizard? (Flies over to Micky and settles next to him) I am Prometheous, and your humble and loyal servant, your Highness of the Desert Sun.
Emma: Well, that answers a lot of questions.
Micky: *looks confused* Huh?
Peter: Mike, the dragon is going to eat Micky!
Mike: That ain't your master, Promy. That's our friend Micky Dolenz.
Micky: Ye...yeah.
(The Dragon turns around and squints at Mike.)
Prometheous: I thought you resembled Lord Robert. You even have the same smart mouth. (Emma snickers. Mike glares at her.)
Lauren: Robert, now?
Prometheous: (Nods at Davy) And the small lad is the spitting image of Lord Thomas of the Aquatides!
Davy: *raises an eyebrow* Should've known.
Prometheous: I must get all of you out of here. The noon sun is dangerous, especially to humans. (Lowers himself to the ground) Ride on my back, noble ladies and gentlemen. (Sighs wistfully) Lord George did so love our little flying jaunts!
Micky: *recovers* Wheeeeeeeee!
Lauren: *watches Micky run over* Mick, wait up!
Emma: (Pulls up the sleeves of her Acme uniform) No kidding about the sun. I think I'm going to pass out if I don't get some fluids soon.
Prometheous: Not to mention those hideous creatures could still be after you. (Smiles a wide smile filled with sharp teeth) Oh, yes, Lilac has been in contact with me. She and her breathren are shaken but mostly fine. The demons escaped them and returned to their master, who is bound and determined to stop you all, despite what he told you before.
Mike: (Mutters) Figures the bad guy wouldn't play fair.
Peter: Yikes! (Scrambles behind Mike at the sight of the sharp teeth)
Micky: *grins* Nice teeth!
Prometheous: Thank you, Lord...um, Micky. Now, if you'll all be so kind as to get on...
Mike: Are you crazy?
Micky: *to Mike* Are you? *hops on happily*
Emma: You got a better way of getting out of here? (Climbs defiantely on the dragon's back.)
*Lauren lets Micky pull her up in front of him.*
Mike: (Climbs on the dragon) I can't believe I'm doin' this!
Emma: Who has the rock up their ass now?
Peter: Guys, don't start...
*Lauren snickers.*
Davy: (Climbs on) Come on, Big Petah! I don't think he'll bite!
Prometheous: You have nothing to worry about, Lad! I have no taste for humans. I only kill coyotes and other wild animals who live on these dry plains.
Lauren: Mick, better lay off the werewolf imitation. *winks at him*
*Micky sticks his tongue out.*
Peter: Well, ok! I've never flown anywhere by dragon before! (Gets on)
Emma: (Dressed as a stewardess) Ladies and gentlemen, please return your seats to the upright posistion. In the quite likely event of an emergency, the exits signs are (looks around) just about everywhere. For the enjoyment of others, there will be no smoking on this flight. Thank you for flying Prometheous Airlines, and have a nice day!
(Emma sits back down as Prometheous takes off, flying through the bright blue sky, darting around clouds and some rather confused birds.)
Mike: You know, it's kinda nice up here.
Peter: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Micky: *glares at Peter* That's my line!
Peter: (city-lighting smile) We'll share it!
Micky: *nods* Okay. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
*Lauren covers her ears.*
Prometheous: Ahh, you are very much like my master! (Emma sees tears form in the reptile's eyes) I do miss him so! He was so fun-loving, so full of life and love, so inclined to eat everything in sight...
Lauren: So *much* like Micky's twin brother, if he had one.
Mike: (Grumbles) Just what the world needs, two of them.
Micky: What's wrong with that?
Prometheous: (As they come up on a series of jagged yellow mountains) There is my home, and the former home of my Lord George. My brother Ares and my sister Athena reside here as well.
Emma: (Gasps) It's breathtaking!
Lauren: Wow!
Mike: I'm feelin' a bit homesick. This reminds me of the deserts in Texas and Arizona.
Peter: What a great house!
Prometheous: It's nothing fancy, but we make do.
(Prometheous lands in a series of large, high caves set up with every convienience - food, musical instruments, primative kinds of fans, fine furniture and decorations, all an odd cross between Southwestern and Middle-Eastern)
Prometheous: Welcome to my home.
Emma: Good lord!
Mike: At least it's cool.
Micky: It's beautiful!
Prometheous: I will allow you to refresh yourselves before we discuss the possible location of the Desert Sun Ruby. (Sighs as he leads the six down a wide cavern) I do miss having guests!
Mike: (Side of his mouth) As the main course or the dessert?
Emma: (Elbows him) Mike, you heard him! He doesn't eat people!
Mike: Sorry, I'm not used to seein' a dragon up close who isn't breathin' fire and about to stuff a knight in his mouth.
*Micky chuckles at the visual.*
Prometheous: All deplorable stereotypes, Lord Rob...um, Mike. (Indicates one set of rooms with his tail) The lads may freshen here, in Lord George's rooms. (Points down the halls) You two ladies may partake of the rooms used by the Lord's female guests.
Emma: (Grins) That makes sense. (Takes off with Lauren in hand) Come on, let's go make ourselves pretty for the boys.
Lauren: Cool! Thanks, Promy!
(The girls head down the hall and step into the indicated rooms. They're gorgeous, with two huge, soft beds covered with silk and satin and many pillows, soft Oriental rugs, and every kind of fanciful luxury.)
Emma: Man, does that Lord George know how to live!
Lauren: I'm officially in Heaven. *falls face-first onto one of the beds*
Emma: Holy cow, the brushes and combs are solid silver!
Lauren: *lifts her head* No way!
Emma: Yeah! (Shows Lauren the brushes and combs)
Lauren: *inspects one of each* Wow.
Emma: Sheez, I wonder what's in the guys' rooms?
Lauren: If we have it this good...
Emma: They're probably wallowing in silk and gold and satin. (Flings open one wardrobe) Lauren, get a load of this!
Lauren: *jumps up* What?
(Emma removes several gorgeous, gauzy, flowing dresses, made of silks, satins, and lace.)
Emma: Look at these! Coco Chanel couldn't do better!
Lauren: Fancy!
Deep Female Voice: You approve, ladies?
(Girls turn to see a dragon, slightly smaller than Prometheous and pinkish-peach in color, with large violet eyes)
Emma: (Composes herself) You must be Athena.
Athena: (Nods slowly) Yes, I'm Prometheous' younger sister. He asked me to attend to both of you. The four boys are dressing down the hall. (Smiles) They are quite a handful! They're making enough noise to waken the Great Spirits of the Dead!
Lauren: Not surprising. *smiles*
(Athena nods at another, larger, more ornate cabinet. Emma opens it to find weapons - a staff, several small daggers, a bow and arrow, a short sword.)
Athena: In our world, women are as much warriors as men. Lord George likes to keep everyone stocked.
Lauren: Oh, man! *inspects the daggers*
Emma: (Gasps) Now I'M in heaven! (Takes the sword and waves it around) It's not my hockey stick, but it'll do.
Athena: My brother tells me that you and your friends are the ones who will save our world from Alakazam.
Emma: (Blushes) We're doing our best, Athie. Don't get your hopes up.
Lauren: We're trying. *offers a wary smile*
Athena: But you've come so far already! You got past the Green Forests and the Desert, and you're still alive!
Lauren: Yeah, we're pretty happy about that ourselves.
Athena: My brothers wish for both of you to come up to our quarters on the top caves for dinner and to discuss the locations of the remaining Jewels. (Eyes shine) He says you will find our masters!
Emma: (Under her breath) I think we may already have, Athie.
*Lauren nods slowly.*
Emma: (Slowly) Our friends bear great resemblances to the missing knights who rule your worlds.
Athena: I thought they looked familar. (Sadly, far-away) Lord George had curly hair like the thin one, and laughed just like that, too.
Lauren: I can't wait to meet Lord George.
Athena: (Grins) I always liked him best, and not just because he was my master! He had a way with the ladies, so to speak. Only Lord Thomas, an incorrigable flirt and lover, was more well-known for his romantic prowess!
(Both girls burst into giggles)
Emma: Gee, sound familar?
Lauren: *folds her arms over her chest* Very familiar.
Athena: (Sighs) I'll leave you ladies to your toilette. (Indicates a bell) Just ring that bell when you are ready, and I'll lead you to our rooms.
Lauren: Thank you, Athena!
Emma: (As Athena leaves) I never thought I'd say this about a dragon, but she's awesome. (Sits on the bed) And I'm in heaven! A place where women are respected as warriors!
Lauren: Very awesome! I could get used to this place.
Emma: (Takes a simple red dress with a low-but-not-daringly cut neckline) So, how about this one?
Lauren: I like that! *rummages through the wardrobe* Hmmm... *pulls out a pair of black dress slacks & a dark purple flowy shirt* Ah ha!
(The girls emerge from the bedrooms several hours later, Emma wearing the red dress with red boots and the sword, her hair pulled up in an elegant bun on the top of her head. Lauren wears the dress slacks and the dark purple shirt with the daggers at her waist, heeled boots pushed under the slacks. Her hair is braided with purple velvet ribbons. Emma wears her beloved gold necklace and typewriter pendant; Lauren wears small gold hoop earrings.)
Athena: The food is all set up and your gentlemen and my brothers await you! (Smiles, displaying a set of teeth to rival her brother's) Though I know little about human dress, I do believe you girls look smashing.
Lauren: This is the life! *blushes*
Emma: (Turns as red as her dress) Oh, golly, thanks Athena!
Athena: Here is our quarters, and the main dining room. (Athena pushes open a door to reveal a very, very long table covered with all kinds of food. The boys wear vests, silk shirts, trousers, and boots, each in a different color. Micky's is red, Davy's blue, Mike's black, and Peter's green. Micky is already half-way through his second plate of food.)
Micky: (With his mouth full) Where have you girls been? We've been waiting for you!
Lauren: Some things never change. *shakes her head*
Mike: (Under his breath) Just like a girl to take forever in the bathroom.
Emma: (Glares at him) Men are usually worse!
Lauren: *waves a dagger* Careful, guys.
Micky: (Still eating) Ooh, they're armed!
Emma: (Indicates her sword) And dangerous!
Mike: I ain't scared of some little... (Peter glares at him before he continues)
Lauren: *sticks her tongue out and pulls up a seat next to Micky* Share!
Prometheous: (Smiles his toothy smile) Eat as much as you wish. There's plenty for everyone, even Lord Ge...Micky.
Emma: (Plops next to Peter) Good. I'm starving!
Lauren: *snickers* Hear that, Mick?
Mike: And it ain't gonna run away from you, so slow down.
*Micky pauses mid-chew and opens his mouth for Lauren to see.*
Lauren: Eeeew, Micky!
Emma: Micky, that's rude!
Mike: Not to mention disgusting.
Davy: I did NOT need to see that!
*Micky smirks and continues chewing*
Emma: Micky, chew with your mouth closed.
Micky: *swallows* I'm just messin' around.
Prometheous: (Smiles toothy smile) Are you sure you're not Lord Robert, Mike? He was terribly stubborn, especially with the ladies, when he wasn't avoiding them.
Mike: Last time I checked, Promy.
Peter: How about Lord Halsten?
Prometheous: Oh, dear Halsten! Kindest creature in the kingdom. He wouldn't hurt so much as an ant in the Green Forests, but he was terribly shy.
Davy: (Between bites) What happened to them, Prometheous?
Prometheous: When Alakazam stole the jewels, they vowed they would somehow take them back and restore them to their rightful places before the wizard could claim the throne. That was many, many months ago, and no one has seen them since.
Lauren: Months?
Prometheous: It's been...almost a year now, I think. (Sighs) Time has different meanings to dragons.
Mike: Do you have any idea of where the Jewel could be hidden, Promy?
Prometheous: My brother Ares is better with that than I. He is in the library even as we eat, studying the lay of the Desert and trying to find the most possible location.
(The group finishes their dinner and finally drag Micky away from a fourth helping of everything and follow Prometheous to a huge cavern on the edge of the Parched Mountains. Every availble wall of the cavern is covered in books.)
Emma: (Murmurs) I think I'm in heaven again!
Lauren: Man oh man...
Micky: *whispers to Lauren* I'm still hungry!
Mike: We'll have Promy catch you a coyote for a snack after we chat with Ares.
Lauren: *glances him over* Where do you put it?
Davy: I always wondered that me'self.
Micky: *grumps* Coyote?
Emma: (Nods at a dragon sitting by one of the ornately carved tables, studying a huge map. When she gets closer, she notices that the dragon is wearing glasses and muttering to himself.) You must be Ares.
Ares: (Nods without looking at her) Yes, yes, I am. (Grumbles) Well, don't just stand there and gawk, girl! (Emma bristles at the 'girl.') Come here, all of you! (Without looking up) And what's wrong with that? (Finally looks up. His eyes get wide and the glasses fall off his nose) Your royal Highnesses!
Mike: (Groans) Not again!
Micky: Oh man...
Emma: I'm afraid these aren't your masters, Ares, just young men from another world who happen to look like them.
Micky: *folds his arms over his chest* Lucky us.
Ares: Never believed in dopplegangers 'til I saw your four. (Points at Micky with one long claw) Are you SURE you're not Lord George?
Micky: *nods* I think so.
Mike: Ares, we're here to find the Desert Sun Ruby, not discuss how much we look like the missin' knights.
Ares: Well, aren't you the ornery one! (Points at the map) It just so happens that I've narrowed it down to only one possible location! (Slams his paw down on one place indicated in brown) The pit of the giant Scorpians of the Desert Sun!
Emma: (Under her breath) Oh shit.
Peter: (Turns ten shades of pale) Sc...sc...sc...
Ares: Well, spit it out, boy! Haven't got all day!
(Peter faints dead away.)
Mike: (Takes Peter in his arms to revive him) Sorry, Are, but we ain't used to fightin' giant scorpians and all.
Lauren: *also pales* Aw geez.
Micky: Scorpians?
Davy: (Squeaks) Scorpians?
Ares: (Cups his hand over a spiky ear) Is there an echo in here? Yes, scorpians! SCOR-PI-ANS! Want me to look it up in the dictionary?
Mike: (As Peter starts to stir) Now who's ornery?
Micky: Yeah. Besides, it's called shock.
Peter: (As he comes to) Mike, I had the craziest dream. We were in this fantasy world, and the dragon said... (blinks his eyes and looks around) It's real, isn't it?
Mike: I'm afraid so, Big Peter.
Emma: Ares, Scorpians are dangerous, not to mention poisonous! The little ones have been known to kill people! I don't want to think of what the big ones could do!
Ares: (Fiddles with his glasses) They haven't killed anyone recently, that I know of.
Mike: (Sarcastically) That's a relief.
Peter: We don't really have to fight giant scorpians, do we?
Ares: Us three dragons will be helping you the whole time! What do you think we're going to do, sit around twiddling our claws?
Micky: *sets his jaw* I was beginning to wonder.
Athena: (From the door) Well, SOME of us do! The REST of us hide in a dusty library all day when Lord George is missing, gone, possibly dead!
Ares: (Glares at her) Athena, don't start with me!
Prometheous: (Pushes past Athena and gets between his siblings) Enough!(To the humans) We of the Desert Sun are pledged to help our master, and those who will keep the four kingdoms from falling into evil hands. Ares, this includes you. (Nods at the kids) The ruby has the power to blow up anything if it gets hot enough.
Micky: *echoes* Blow up?
Emma: (Grins) We'll have to keep that one away from Micky, won't we?
Micky: Hey?
Athena: So did Lord George. Always messing about in his labs, trying out new gunpowders!
Ares: Damn that impetuous boy! We've had to rebuild the labs five times!
Davy: And we've had to fix up the pad dozens of times from Micky's experiments.
Ares: (Glances at Micky) Ah, you too, boy, are an amateur chemist?
Mike: (Crosses his arms) Very amateur.
Micky: Who you calling an amateur?
Davy: We still have the green spot on the table from your last experiment!
Micky: *blushes slightly* I'll give you that one.
Prometheous: We'll leave in the morning, when the scorpians are at their groggiest. If the timing is right, there may be no reason to kill them.
Peter: Why would we want to kill them?
Lauren: So they don't kill us.
Ares: The Ruby is probably in their nest, and they'll want to protect that! (Ares puts his head in his claws) You're worse than Lord Halsten! He always asked fool questions, too.
Athena: Halsten was no fool, Ares. Just more innocent than the others.
Prometheous: It's settled, then. (Nods at his sister) Athena, take the ladies to their rooms. We'll have a hearty breakfast in the morning before going to the Pit of the Giant Scorpians.
Athena: (After returning the girls to their room) Would you ladies be requiring anything else?
Emma: (Sighing) How about a way out of this?
Lauren: Other than that, nothing.
Athena: You'll have my brothers and me with you! I've fought monsters larger than the Scorpians aiding Lord George, and even Ares is tougher than he looks. Not to mention you have all the weapons of the Parched Mountains at your disposal. You'll be fine.
Emma: (Flings her arms around Athena) Thanks, Athie! Even if we die, I want you to know, you've been really swell!
Lauren: *follows suit, but glares at Emma* Did you have to mention the "D" word, though?
Athena: I agree with the second lady. (Grins her wide dragon grin) You know, it occurs to me I don't even know your names!
Emma: (Nods at herself) I'm Emma, (Indicates Lauren) and that's Lauren. The guys are friends of ours, a musical group called The Monkees.
*Lauren gives Athena a wary smile.*
Athena: Such strange names musicians have in your world!
Lauren: Yeah.
Athena: I'll take my leave now. There are bedclothes in the closets and books by the fireplace. The night air is chilly in the desert, and Prometheous would have my head if you girls caught cold! (Smiles and leaves)
Emma: (Grins) I like her, I really do. Shame Ares is such a prick, though.
Lauren: I like her, too. I think Ares needs to have his chip knocked off.
Emma: Chip? How about the whole damn block?
Lauren: *smirks* That works, too.
Emma: Prometheous is cool. He's so wise and caring, AND he handles the guys well!
Lauren: And they need a handler!
Emma: (Smirks at Lauren) I thought Micky had one!
Lauren: *blushes* Well, the other guys, then. *turns red*
Emma: I wouldn't handle Mike for all the Jewels in every alternative universes there are!
(Emma picks out a heavy nightgown that covers her whole body and flings herself into one of the beds.)
Lauren: I doubt that I could handle him. Too much temper. *again rummages through the wardrobe*
Emma: I can't handle much besides stuffed animals.
Lauren: *muffled* I'm surprised when I can handle Micky!
Emma: (Giggles) I thought you enjoyed NOT handling him!
Lauren: *backs out of the wardrobe shaking her head* That didn't come out right.
Emma: (Giggles) No kidding. (Hugs a pillow) I wish I had one of my stuffed animals here. I always feel better when I hug a stuffed animal.
Lauren: *points at the wardrobe* I'll be in here. *rummages again; finally pulls out a pants & shirt set with little frogs as the pattern and nods* I'd love to have one of mine, too. *pauses* Or Micky.
Emma: (Flings herself back) I wonder what happened to those knights?
Lauren: Whatever happened had to have been pretty bad.
Emma: If they really look and act as much like the guys as the dragons say, we could be in deep trouble. Every time the guys get involved with doubles, something bad happens.
Lauren: I was hoping, for once, it'd work to our advantage.
Emma: Maybe it will, you never know with doubles.
Lauren: I hope so.
Emma: And then there's the damn wizard! I know he's not going to play fair! (Makes a face) What's with him, anyway, other than the whole "world domination" thing?
Lauren: Who knows? That seems to be all the bad guys ever have in mind. *sighs*
Emma: I'll bet he has those knights under some kind of spell or something.
Lauren: I'd place a good amount of money on that one.
Emma: Don't forget the demons. (Shudders)
Lauren: There's something familiar about them, don't you think?
Emma: (Snuggles under the covers) Yeah, there is. (Yawns) Can't put my finger on what it is.
Lauren: Hmm... *Sits on the end of her bed. A few moments pass; her eyes widen* Emma!
Emma: (Dreamy) Uh-huh?
Lauren: The Demons!
Emma: (Yaws) Yeah?
Lauren: The Demons are the Knights!
Emma: (Yawns) Uh-huh, that's nice. (Shoots out of bed as it hits her) WHAT!
Lauren: The Demons are the Knights under a spell!
Emma: (sits up) Holy cow, you're right! There's four of them, and Peter said he almost recognized one...
Lauren: *holds a hand to her head* How could we have missed that when Peter mentioned it.
Emma: We were being chased by hairy, drooling monsters on unicorn-back. We were kind of busy at that point.
Lauren: And they were the chasers *Frowns*
Emma: Alakazam must have done something to their memories along with their bodies.
Lauren: Those poor guys...
Emma: (Clenches her fists) That...that...that son of a bitch! Oooh, if I could only get my hands on him and find a way to reverse that spell!
Lauren: *shaking her head* Couldn't have said it better myself.
Emma: Remember, Lauren, Mr. Wizard said that if the knights don't show with the Jewels, he gets the kingdom. How could they appear if they look like a freak show and are under his control?
Lauren: That's right. Geez...
Emma: We have to rescue them!
Lauren: There has to be some way to get them back to normal.
Emma: I just wish I knew how.
Lauren: I wonder if the guys realized this.
Emma: (Grins) They're smart boys. It'll hit them eventually.
Lauren: Like a ton of bricks.
(All four Monkees appear in the doorway, looking tired.)
Davy: Luvs, there's something we've got to tell you.
Peter: And it isn't nice.
*Lauren glances at Emma.*
Mike: That son-of-a-bitch wizard turned the knights into those four hell-hounds he sent chasin' after us.
Lauren: They figured it out.
Emma: No kidding. (Nods at the boys while trying to cover her pajamas with the satin quilts) We know, guys. It just hit us, too.
Peter: The demon who chased me in the Green Forests kinda looked like Mike, only darker and scarier and with bigger teeth and a lot more hair.
Emma: (Grabs her glasses and inspects Mike) I thought that's how he always looked.
*Micky chuckles*
Lauren: I hope we didn't do too much harm to them with the potions!
Davy: I don't think we did anything worse than what Alakazam's already done to them, luv.
Mike: (Glares daggers at Emma) All right, we now know that Alakazam has the knights under his control in the form of those lovely critters. However, there isn't much we can do about it tonight.
Peter: (Turns pale and tugs at Mike's sleeve) M...m...m..miiiiiikkke?
Mike: (Shakes him off) Not now, Pete!
Lauren: Now what?
Peter: (Points) There's something at the window!
(All six run to the window, nearly trampling each other on the way.)
Mike: Peter, you're seein' things. There ain't anything out there but shadows and sand.
Emma: Um, Mike, do shadows and sand make claw-marks (indicates a fairly wide stretch with her fingers) THIS deep in the window?
Lauren: Holy...
Peter: (Cries) It was one of the demons!
Emma: (Shudders) I'll bet he's off to tattle to Alakazam about our location right now.
Micky: *groans* Just great.
Mike: In which case (starts to the door), we're gonna have to take on the scorpians now. If we wait until morning, Alakazam and his demon knights may come after us.
Emma: Mike, are you out of your Texan head?
Davy: You 'eard the dragons! The scorpians are less awake during the day!
Mike: We can't afford to take that chance.
Lauren: *whimpers* I'd prefer them half asleep.
Peter: (Cries louder) I WANNA GO HOME!
Emma: (Pushes past Mike and blocks the door) We're going to have to take the chance, Mike. We don't know anything about fighting monsters, and we'll need the dragons at full strength.
Micky: Mike, she has a point.
Emma: If you go through that door, Robert Michael Nesmith, you're fighting them alone!
Mike: (Looks around at the resolute faces of his friends and Peter, who's sniffling, and sighs) I guess you're right. (He glares at Emma) God help me, you're right.
Emma: (Smirks) Did it kill you to admit that someone else was right besides you?
Lauren: *smiles half-heartedly* See? That wasn't so tough.
Davy: (Gets between Emma and Mike) Cut that out! We don't need you two to be at each other's throats again!
Emma and Mike: (In unison) He/She started it!
Micky: *fed up* Oh knock it off, will ya? Geez...
Davy: Some parents! You're both acting like bloody six-year-olds!
*Micky plops on the edge of the bed next to Lauren, who leans on him.*
Emma: In which case, we shall return to bed until the first morning's light, at which time we shall follow the dragons' instructions and proceed to the Scorpian pit.
Lauren: Uh, yeah, what she said.
Peter: (Wipes his nose on his silken sleeve) I'm scared!
Emma: (Puts her arm around Peter) Big Peter, we all are. We'd be crazy not to, but we're involved in this and gosh darn it, we're going to help these people, save this kingdom, rescue those knights, and pay the dragons and the unicorns back for their hospitality!
*Micky applauds*
Davy: I've never been more scared in me life, but I agree with Em. We've got to help these folks. The dragons and the unicorns are counting on us!
Peter: (Sobs a little) And no one deserves to be turned into a demon!
Lauren: *smirks* Even if one of them does act like Micky.
Micky: *sticks his tongue out at her.*
Emma: (Giggles) Enough, folks. We need our beauty sleep.
Davy: (Winks at Micky) Some more than others, mate.
Micky: *bats his eyes* I don't know what you're talking about.
Mike: (Shepherds the boys out, including Micky, who's taking a few final parting kisses on Lauren's neck) Ok, fellas, time to get some shut-eye. We'll meet in the dragon's rooms at first light, ok?
Emma: (She and Lauren salute him) Yes, Corporal Nesmith!
(Mike finally grabs Micky and gets him through the door, slamming it on the way out.)
*Lauren sighs, smirking.*
Emma: (Lays back) I'd love to take that stick out of Mike's behind and shove it where the sun don't shine.
Lauren: Now there's a visual. *chuckles*
Emma: Yes, isn't it pleasant? (Climbs back into bed) What is WITH that man? Why can't he bend a little?
Lauren: *shrugs* He doesn't like it when he can't control the situation, and he's far from able to control this.
Emma: (Grabs a pillow and smacks it) I don't like it any more than he does, but god darn it, what can we do? We're stuck! (Growls) He's so...so...soo...oooh!...agravating! (punches another pillow.)
Lauren: Good choice of adjectives.
Emma: "Ooh" or "Soo" or "agravating?"
Lauren: All three *finally gets under the blankets*
(Emma laughs as the girls finally drift off to sleep.)
(As the first light shines across the window to the girls' room, Emma, a morning person, gets up first. She stretches her legs, stands, and goes to the window to admire a beautiful desert morning.)
Emma: Ahhh, so peaceful. I could get to liking this.
*Lauren moans, hugging an extra pillow, muttering something unintelligible.*
(Emma notices something stirring by the window...and gasps, standing back.)
Emma: You...it... (a demon flutters under her window) L...laa... (The demon looks into her eyes and gently places his huge, clawed paw on her hand on the windowsil before flying away. Emma draws back and runs to Lauren's bed.) Lauren! Lauren, wake up! One of the demons was here! (She grabs Lauren's pillow)
Lauren: *shoots up* Mick...huh? What's goin' on?
Emma: Oh, for god's sake, could you get your mind off your man for five minutes? One of the demons came back!
Lauren: *grabs her pillow and flops back down* Nice dream... *shoots up again* One of them came back?
Emma: (Frowns) It's the funniest thing. He didn't do anything to me. He just looked at me, and kinda touched my hand, and flew away. He seemed so...sad. Tormented. His eyes...(Emma shudders)...reminded me of Mike's.
Lauren: *eyes widen* Whoa...
Emma: They were big and deep and chocolate brown, and they almost broke my heart, they were so sad.
Lauren: I'll bet they know what they're doing, but they can't stop themselves. They have no control. *frowns*
Emma: It's killing all four of them.
Lauren: We've gotta help them as quickly as possible.
Emma: (Turns to Lauren) And the only way to do that is to find those Jewels. They're the key to this whole thing.
*Lauren nods.*
Emma: (Goes to the wardrobe to find her Acme uniform) We've got to get the guys and the dragons. Soulful eyes or no soulful eyes, that demon is probably on his way to snitch on us to his master.
*Lauren digs for her jeans and t-shirt.*
Athena: (Enters as the girls strap on their weapons) Good, you're ready.
Emma: (Whispers to Lauren as Athena takes them down the hall.) Should we tell them about the demon I saw this morning?
Lauren: I don't know.
Emma: It might worry them more, and Peter's upset enough as it is.
*Lauren nods*
(Athena leads the girls to the table, which is once again set for a splendid meal, and once again, Micky is stuffing his face.)
Davy: The bloke makes me sick just looking at 'im!
Lauren: *shaking her head* Mick... *sits next to him*
Mike: Micky, you might want to slow down and actually chew between bites.
Micky: *with mouthful* Wha?
Athena: (Laughs) And I thought our Lord George had an apptetite on him!
Lauren: *props her head in her hands* Ugh.
Emma: Micky, eat with your mouth closed. (To herself) Good grief, I sound like my mother! (Sighs) Are you guys all ready and armed?
*Micky holds up his knife and fork.*
Emma: (Rolls her eyes) I mean with weapons that could hurt something besides a pancake.
*Micky shrugs and goes back to shoveling.*
Mike: (Holds up a large broadsword) If this don't hurt them scorpians, nothin' will.
(Peter reveals a bow and arrow, Davy a more slender sword, and Micky holds up a large dagger while still shoveling food with the other hand.)
Prometheous: (Arrives at the table with a not-happy Ares in tow) Ah, good morning, everyone. Sleep well?
Emma: (Blushes) Yeah, you might say that.
Lauren: *muttering* It's kinda six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Mike: It's a long story, Promy.
Ares: Well, of course the kids are gonna have bad dreams! Would you have good dreams if you were going up against three giant, poisonous scorpians first thing in the morning?
Prometheous: (Warningly) Ares...
Lauren: *moans* Oh man. *pales*
Peter: Um, suddenly I'm not hungry anymore. (Pushes his plate of food away.)
Mike: Me either.
(Emma pushes the food around on her plate.)
*Micky looks up, shrugs, and keeps eating, though not as quickly.*
Athena: Ares, do you HAVE to open your mouth? (Smacks him on the head with her tail)
Prometheous: Athena, leave him alone! You know he's always grumpy early in the morning.
Davy: (Looks at Mike) Gee, that sounds like a bloke I know.
(Emma and Peter snort; Mike glares at Davy.)
Mike: I don't LIKE mornings.
Emma: (Grins) I LOVE mornings!
Peter: Me, too! They were the only time when I was a kid I could get some peace and quiet!
Lauren: *covers her face with her hands* I hate mornings.
Mike: Finally, someone with sense!
Peter: I have some dollars! Maybe we could put them together! (Reaches in his pocket. Mike stops him)
Mike: No thanks. I don't think I'll be runnin' to the A&P anytime soon.
Davy: Micky doesn't care as long as there's food.
Prometheous: (Gazes into the rapidly brightening sky) If you're all finished eating, we really should be getting along, before the scorpians start awakening.
Davy: Micky is never finished eating.
*Micky glares at Davy.*
Emma: (Takes Micky by the ear as the others stand to join the dragons) He is now!
Mciky: Ow, ow, ow, ow!
(The group heads outdoors. The heat is already starting to become more intense, even as the six climb onto the backs of the three dragons. The reptiles fly to a large cave in a cliffside, near an odd-shaped cacti.)
Prometheous: Here it is, kids. The home of the Cave of the Giant Scorpians.
Peter: (Gasps) Oh, wow! (His jaw drops open. Davy closes it.)
Lauren: Maybe we'll luck out and they aren't home.
Micky: (Knocks on the side of the rock and says timidly) Hello, anyone home? (Quickly turns away) Oh, well, they're not home. What a shame. Guess we'll...
Lauren: *tries to follow*
Mike: (Grabs Micky by the collar as he tries to escape; Emma stops Lauren) Nice try, Mick, but neither of you are going anywhere until we get that ruby.
Prometheous: (Peers in) You're in luck, kids! They're still asleep!
(The six humans and three dragons enter the giant cave. Three sleeping scorpians rest peacefully toward the back. The nest is surrounded by a red glow.)
Emma: The ruby! (Turns to Lauren) Do you remember when Mike found the Emerald? It glowed!
Peter: That must be it between those two funny egg-shaped rocks.
Davy: Um, Petah, those aren't rocks. They're eggs.
Peter: Eggs? (Gulps hard)
Micky: Uhh, I prefer my eggs scrambled.
Athena: One of us must go retrieve the ruby before the scorpians awaken!
Lauren: *voice raises an octave* One?
Mike: That's a good idea, Lauren. We'll send two people up there.
Emma: That way, if the scorpians wake up, someone can distract them while the other person gets the ruby.
Prometheous: We'll cover the rear.
Ares: Well, who's fool enough to go picking around under a Giant Scopian's bottom?
*Everyone looks at Micky.*
Emma: (Grins) I think you just got voted off the island again, Mick. Besides, this is YOUR doppleganger's territory.
Micky: *gulps* Man, what a drag.
Peter: Who's going to go with him?
Mike: (Nods at the others) Let's shoot for it.
Lauren: *sucks in a deep breath* Let's do it!
(They shoot for it. Lauren loses the first time.)
Athena: What is this "shooting for it?"
Peter: Rocks, paper, scissors. It's how we decide on things.
Ares: (Under his breath) That explains a lot.
Emma: Sorry, Lauren, but you get to join Lover Boy.
Davy: Don't worry, luvs, we're all here behind you!
Lauren: Y...yay. *turns another shade whiter* Wonderful.
Mike: Just be careful up there!
Micky: We can do this. *pulls Lauren along*
Peter: Don't get hurt!
Micky: *muttering* Famous last words.
*Lauren shakes her head.*
Micky: *still pulling her along, whispering* Just keep it together. Not much further...
Emma: Come on, guys, you can do it!
Athena: We know you can!
Peter: (Looks over his shoulder) Guys?
Mike: Shhhh!
*Lauren stops, pulling her hands from Micky's, who continues on a few steps.*
Emma: What's that sound?
Peter: (Pulls at Prometheous' wing) Guys!
*Micky stops, a few steps from the jewel.*
Emma: THEY'RE MOVING!
Peter: Mike!
*Lauren backs off quickly.*
Peter: (Points over his shoulder) The devil-knights are here!
Micky: Shit! *grabs the jewel and runs for it.*
Emma: Everyone, get outta here!
Micky: *lifts Lauren over his shoulder as he runs by* Go, go!
(There's a wild mellee to the tune of "No Time" - dragons frying demons, kids trying to hack at scorpians, demons looking confused as to whether they should fight at the scorpians, the dragons, or the kids, and the tallest demon keeps eyeing Emma)
Emma: Mike, watch out! (Grabs him and pushes him to the ground as a scorpian's claw comes bearing down on him.)
Mike: Holy shit! (Looks up at Emma, who's laying on top of him, panting) Um, thanks. You saved my life.
Emma: (Gets off of him, blushing the same shade of red as the ruby) Um, you're welcome.
Peter: Prometheous! (Sees a scorpian take the dragon in it's claws and shoots at it's heart. He misses, but gets the claw. The scorpian drops the dragon. Prometheous is badly wounded, a jagged tear on his side gushing blood.)
Micky: Noo!
Athena: PROMETHEOUS, NO!!! (Launches a bolt of flame that stops that leaves the scorpian a smoking hulk.)
Peter: Oh, god! (Flings his arms around the dragon and sobs) I'm sorry, Promy! I tried to stop him!
*Lauren buries her face against Micky's chest.*
Emma: Wait a minute! Peter, the Emerald! (She takes the Emerald out of the bag she'd slung around her arm that morning) Peter, don't you remember? The unicorns said that the Emerald had healing powers! (Hands Peter the Emerald) Why don't you handle it? It comes from your doppleganger's land.
Peter: Ok. If it'll help Promy...
Davy: (Gets down next to the dragon and feels his pulse) Guys, he's going fast.
Micky: You can do it, Pete.
(Peter kneels down by the dying reptile and runs the Emerald across the wound. A warm green glow envelopes the dragon. The wound closes and scabs, and his breathing becomes less ragged.)
Peter: (Gasps) I did it. He'll be all right.
Emma: (Hugs Peter) I knew you could! (Grabs a surprised Mike and hugs him) Did you hear that, Mike? He'll be all right!
*Micky whoops with joy.*
Davy: He's coming to!
Athena: (Joins the group by her brother) Thank goodness!
Prometheous: (Eyes flutter, then open) Wh...what happened? (Gazes at a still-surprised Peter) Lord Halsten?
Peter: (Shakes his head) No, just me, Peter. The Emerald saved you.
*Lauren smiles, leaning against Micky.*
Ares: Well, I'll be damned. The kid did it. Lord Halsten is the only other human I've seen who was able to wield the Emerald that well.
Emma: (She and Mike help Peter to his feet) We've got to get out of here and find the next jewel. There could be more scorpians, and the demons could come back, too.
Mike: It ain't that we don't appreciate what you've done for us. Alakazam has it in for us really bad, and after what happened with Promy here, we don't want to take more chances at anyone else getting hurt.
Prometheous: (Nods) We understand, Lord Rob...Mike. And, at any rate, we cannot go beyond the Land of the Desert Sun. Like the unicorns, it would cost us our powers. We will await the return of our master.
Athena: We will return you to the Parched Mountains for rest and to gather supplies, then take you as far as the shores of the Aquatides.
Micky: Food!
Ares: The mer-people there are a fickle lot, but they'll be able to help you.
Athena: Ask for Pearl, the Lady of the Aquatides. She'll be more than willing to assist you. (Smiles knowlingly) They say she was one of Lord Thomas' favorite companions before his untimely disappearance.
Ares: And lord only knows that boy had enough favorite companions!
Prometheous: Ares, we are not here to speculate on Lord Thomas' love-life.
Micky: *smirks* Your turn, Dave.
Davy: (Sighs) Mermaids...
Mike: (Groans) Great, just what we need, the Lothario of Beachwood Street loose amid a bunch of half-naked women who'll be fawning all over him.
Micky: How do you get a gig like that?
*Lauren glares at him.*
Emma: (Before everything gets out of hand) Ahem. I think we'll go back to to the Parched Mountains now.
Lauren: Sounds good to me!
Micky: Me too!
(Emma and Lauren ride Athena going back.)
Emma: (Whispers to Lauren) Should we tell the dragons the true identites of the demons?
Lauren: Maybe we should.
Emma: They deserve to know what really happened to their masters.
Lauren: And we want to make sure they don't get hurt.
Emma: (Taps Athena on the ear) Athie?
Athena: Yes, ladies?
Emma: (Sighs) We have something to tell you.
Athena: What?
Emma: This isn't easy, and you won't like it.
Athena: Nothing worth doing is easy, Emma.
Emma: Athie...the demons are the knights.
Athena: (Dips low in surprise; the girls clutch her and squeal) What? What do you mean?
Emma: (Gasps) Athie, be careful! You have people on you!
Lauren: The missing Knights were turned into those demons.
Athena: (Horrified) Even Lord George?
Emma: (Nods) I'm afraid so.
Lauren: All four of them.
Athena: (Tears in her eyes) My poor master!
Emma: You have to tell your brothers, just in case the demons show up again.
Athena: (Angry) Alakazam must have done this!
Lauren: Without a doubt.
Athena: He'd do anything to get the kingdom. We were wondering why we could find no trace of them, though we searched and searched...(tears start to fall from her large eyes) My poor Lord George!
Lauren: We'll get them back.
Emma: I swear by all that is good and holy that I'll see all four of them ruling this kingdom and Alakazam writhing in the depths of the blackest hell in the known universe!
Athena: Amen to that, Emma!
Lauren: Hear, hear!
Emma: (Whispers to Lauren as the dragon closes in on the Parched Mountains) You know, Lauren, I caught that same demon looking at me again during the "No Time" romp. I wonder what the hell he wants?
Lauren: *whispers back* I don't know. Maybe he senses some type of link.
Emma: Those eyes do something do me... (Sighs) We have to help them! It's blasphemy, what Alakazam did to them! They aren't really bad, just forced to serve a bad man!
Lauren: No arguement from me. I'm all for helping them!
Emma: (Sighs) I just wish I knew how to help them. There must be something we can do that will reverse the spell and restore their bodies and their full memories!
Lauren: Maybe the jewels can help them.
Emma: There has to be some kind of connection between the guys, the knights, and the jewels. You saw how the Emerald responded to Peter when he helped Prometheous.
Lauren: *nods* I'll bet there's something about the Ruby that Mick will be able to use.
Emma: (Grins) Yeah, if anyone can blow stuff up, it's Mick. Davy and Mike will probably be able to use the sapphire and the diamond in some way, too.
Lauren: I have no doubt. And put all four together...
Emma: It equals mega power.
Lauren: Exactly.
Emma: (Sighs) No wonder Alakazam wants those jewels and wanted the knights out of the way. (Clutches her sword) And we've got to keep him from doing the same thing to the guys. Even Mike.
Lauren: *echoes* "Even Mike?" *chuckles*
Emma: (Sighs) You know, when I saved him from the scorpian, I thought I saw him almost soften for a second.
Lauren: I think you did. Brief as it may have been, it was a breakthrough.
Emma: (Slams her fist into her palm) I'm going to break through that shell of his if it kills both of us! He needs something in his life besides his music! He's just so damn stubborn!
Lauren: No killing, please. Chipping away at him should be plenty. *leans forward on Athena*
Emma: (Sighs) Sorry, my impatience cropping up again.
Athena: We're almost there.
Lauren: It's okay. *yawns* Man, being scared shitless sure takes a lot out of you. *chuckles*
Emma: (Also yawns) I could go for a nice, long nap myself before we head out to the Aquatides.
Lauren: From the sounds of things, we'll need it.
Athena: (Smiles) You both deserve it! You were spectacular today, especially you, Lauren! It took a lot of nerve for you and Micky to get that Ruby!
Lauren: Nerve I didn't know I *had*!
Emma: (Grins at Lauren) I knew it!
Lauren: Huh?
Emma: You helped us stand up to Zero the other day, and you befriended someone on the strength of a few fanfics.
Lauren: *smiles* Thanks!
Athena: (Lands on the top of the Parched Moutains) I think I'll take two tired young ladies to their rooms for a much-deserved siesta!
Lauren: *yawns again* Sounds good to me.
Emma: Ole!
Lauren: Vamanos!
(As the two girls and the dragon walk to their rooms, a dark, hairy figure with sad, soulful brown eyes watches the taller of the girls. She looks over her shoulder at the now-bright sunshine, but he is gone.)