Ready to start our own version of "A Christmas Carol?" ;)
Micky: You bet! :D
Lauren: Yeah! :)
Mike: Bah humbug. :p
Peter: Oh, Michael, it's just a play! I'm ready!
Micky: I see Scrooge is here already. ;)
Davy: I 'ope 'e was just practicin'. :p
*We open with a view of just the stage. The London set covers the entire stage. Micky steps out from stage right, dressed in clothing of the time and top hat to hide his curls.* ;)
Micky: *begins narration* Marley was dead to begin with, as dead as a doornail! In life, Marley was a business partner with a shrewd monelylender named Ebenezer Scrooge. You will meet him as he comes around that corner... *looks towards the buildings as extras, dressed as townspeople file on stage*
(The extras begin a lovely dance number to "Here We Come a Caroling." They almost finish before the music suddenly stops and becomes a bit more...sour. Everyone spilts into different small groups and whisper amongst themselves as Mike, as Ebeneezer Scrooge in his white wig, makeup, and Victorian get-up, stomps around the corner and over to one of the buildings.)
Micky: There he is, Ebenezer Scrooge.
(Mike pushes past Micky, grumbling as he storms into one of the buildings. The "building" pulls out to reveal Scrooge's countinghouse. Peter, dressed in a shabby Victorian suit with a long scarf, is trying to get some more coal. Mike immediately goes to him and smacks him on the hand with his cane.)
Peter: (Squawks) Ow! (Rubs his hand) That hurt, Mich...um, sir!
Mike: (Rolls his eyes, then shakes his cane at Peter) Bob Cratchit, what are you doing?
Peter: (Blushes) Would you believe I'm thawing the ink? ;) :">
Mike: Don't give me that, Cratchit! You used a piece last week! Now, get back into your tank, before it becomes necessary for you to lose your position for Christmas! :p
Peter: Yes, sir! (He jumps onto the tall desk and chair, opens a book, and starts writing. Every now and then, he'll try to warm his hands by the single candle)
Mike: (He's piling coins) One hundred shillings from MacDuff, plus 200 for selling the corn last week, brings us quite a profit. (Grins) I love the sound of jinglin' money. There's nothin' quite like it in the world. (He sings "Ringle Jingle" from "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol" about the lovely sound of coins; Peter sings the last verses in counterpoint, complaining about the cold and pleading with an unrelenting Mike to give him a little coal.)
Micky: *enters the scene, letting himself into the counting house as the song ends* Hello? Uncle, I know you're here! *grins* ;)
Mike: (Makes a face) Yes, I'm here, though I'm starting to wish I wasn't. :p
Peter: (Waves from his side of the office) Hello, Fred. :)
Micky: *waves to Bob* Hello, Bob! *then moves in front of Scrooge's desk* Hello, Uncle. *grins again* A merry Christmas! :D ;)
(Peter waves to Micky while Mike isn't looking. ;) :D)
Mike: (Doesn't look up; stares at his book) Bah humbug! :p
Micky: Christmas a humbug, Uncle? You surely don't mean that. Come on! :P
Mike: (Rolls his eyes) If I had my will, every idiot who went around with a "Merry Christmas" on his lips would be found with a stake of holly through his heart and boiled with his own pudding. :p
Micky: *looks slightly hurt* Oh, Uncle, that's an awful thing to say! :P
Mike: Nephew, you keep Christmas in your way, and I'll keep Christmas in mine...or not keep it at all. :p
Micky: *shakes his head* Christmas is a loving, honest, and charitable time, and though it's never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe Christmas has done me good and will do me good, and I say God bless it!!! :D
Peter: (Claps) Well said, Master Fred! :D
Micky: Thank you, Bob! ;)
Mike: (Turns to Peter with a nasty growl) How would my cold clerk like to spend Christmas suddenly UNEMPLOYED!? X(
Peter: (Gulps and pulls at his scarf) Oh, my, did it suddenly get hot in here? :o (Returns quickly to his books)
Mike: (Turns back to Micky) As for you, nephew, you're quite a speaker. It's amazing you don't go out for Parliment. :p
Micky: *quirks an eyebrow* Perhaps I should, Uncle. (Smiles) In the meantime, I'd like to ask you over for Christmas dinner. Lauren makes a pretty mean turkey with all the trimmings. *winks*
Mike: I'm not hungry. :p
Micky: Uncle, how can you not be hungry? *evil grin* I mean, look at you! You could use some food! ;) :P
Mike: Why did you get married?
Micky: *eyes flash* Why? Why, because I love Lauren! She's the best thing that's ever happened to me! She means the world to me!
Mike: (Grumbles) Because you're in love? That's the only thing in the world more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! :p
Micky: Perhaps that's because you've forgotten what real love is like. And there's nothing ridiculous about a merry Christmas!
Mike: (Returns to his book) Good afternoon! :p
Micky: It's no use, Uncle. I shall keep my Christmas humor to the last. A merry Christmas to you and a happy New Year! :D
Mike: (Louder) Good afternoon! X(
Micky: Good afternoon, Uncle! *smiles and heads out; as he passes Bob* Merry Christmas, Bob! :)
Peter: (Smiles; quietly, so Mike doesn't hear) Merry Christmas, Mi...Fred. Tell your wife I wish her a Merry Christmas, too. :)
Micky: I will, Bob, I will. *waves; then leaves*
(As he leaves, three gentlemen - Jack, Nyles, and Davy - enter. Nyles is eating an apple.)
Davy: (Nudges Nyles) You're not supposed to be eatin' those, man. They're props! :p
Nyles: *takes another bite* A what? :-/
*Jack just rolls his eyes.* :P
Mike: (He smiles slightly) Ahh, customers. May I help you gentlemen?
Davy: (Bows) Yes, sir. Have I the pleasure of addressin' Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?
Mike: Marley's been dead these seven years.
Davy: Then I'm sure he'll be well-represented by his surviving partner.
Jack: At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessities; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.
Davy: What shall we put you down for?
Mike: Nothing.
Jack: You wish to be anonymous?
Mike: (Stands up with a wolf's roar) I wish to be left alone! Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I pay taxes for the workhouses and the prisons. They cost enough, and those who are badly off must go there. X(
Davy: (Eyes widen) Many can't go there, and many more would rather die!
Mike: If they would rather die, they'd better do it, and decrease the surplus population! :p
Jack: *frowns* Perhaps it's time we should take our leavings. :P
*Nyles continues eating his apple.* ;)
Peter: (As Mike returns to his book) Wait! (He fishes some coins out of his pocket) Here. I'd like to put this down. :)
Davy: (Smiles and puts the money in his tin cup) Bless you, sir! :)
Jack: *nods; smiling* Yes, thank you, kind sir! :)
Peter: I don't mind helping those who are worse off. My family at least has a roof over its head. Many in London don't even have that, and that's not right. :(
Davy: No, it's not. You're a truly kind soul, sir. :)
Peter: (Nods at his side of the office) I'd better be getting back. (Shakes Jack and Davy's hands - Nyles is still eating) Merry Christmas, gentlemen! :)
Jack: Merry Christmas! *Nyles nods*
(Peter watches as the three men go outside and join a small, sprightly older woman with gray-streaked brown curls...a rather familiar older woman.)
Peter: That's odd. I know I've seen her before. (The four walk off towards the next office together.)
Mike: Cratchit, do you want to keep your job, or don't you? :p
Peter: I'm going, sir! (He jumps back on the chair and starts writing again)
(As Peter jumps back, there's the sound of singing at the door. Mike opens it to reveal Danny of The Four Martians singing "Good King Wenceslas." He growls at him.)
Danny: (Blushes and says in a bad British accent) Um....penny for the song, guv'nor?
Mike: Humbug! (Slams the door in Danny's face. He walks off and dejectedly joins the other Martians)
Micky: *steps out from stage right again* As Scrooge returns to his desk, his threatening countenance relaxes and he grins, pleased with himself. *pauses* The time passes, and Scrooge lgances at the church tower, nearly invisible in the fog, as its clock strikes the hour, with tremulous vibrations afterwards as if its teeth were chattering in its frozen head. It's time to shut up the counting house. *we see the motions matching the narration* With an ill-will, Scrooge leaves his desk and nods to Bob Cratchit, who immediately snuffs out his candle and puts his hat on.
Mike: (Grumbling as Peter stands) You'll want all day off tomorrow, I suppose?
Peter: Y...yes, sir, if it's convienent for you.
Mike: It's not convienient, and it's not fair. If I take half a crown out of this week's wages, you'd think yourself ill-used, would't you?
Peter: P..please sir, it's only once a year. Most businesses will be closed tomorrow, anyway, and there will be no one for you to do business with.
Mike: Poor excuses for picking a man's pocket every year. (As Peter draws in a hopeful breath, Mike grumbles) Very well. You may have your full day (shakes his cane at Peter) but be here all the earlier the next morning! Nine o'clock, or you get yourself a new job, you hear me?
Peter: (Nods) Yes, sir! (Turns on his city-lighting grin) Thank you, sir! Merry Christmas, and a very Happy New Year!
Mike: (As Peter leaves) Humbug! :p
(As Mike and Peter step out, we see that the "sky" above the set has darkened; it even has stars. A large group of people in Victorian dress, including Micky, the twins, the Angellettes, the Four Martians, the Westminster Abbies, Tilly, and several Starlight orphans, "slide" on the "ice" on the stage and dance as they exchange presents and sing "Thank You Very Much" from the 1970 film version of "Scrooge." Peter runs towards the twins and take them in his arms, then puts them down and does a bit of sliding himself. ;) )
Peter: (Stops by Fred) You were right, Master Fred, this IS fun! :D
Micky: *grins* I knew you'd like it, Bob! :D
Kimberly: Shame ol' Scrooge won't join us.
Audrey: What a jerk! :p
Tilly: I don't think he's THAT bad. I'll bet he was even cute once. ;)
Micky: *shakes his head* I wish he'd lighten up! He's always so uptight and...miserly. :P
Peter: I think he's just lonely. He doesn't really have any friends, and he has no family but you and Lauren.
Micky: And he shuns us as if we're strangers! :P
John: (Picks up one of the kids) I knew him a long time ago, when we were both working for old Fezziwig's baking company. He was a good guy then, real fun to be around. He got so into his money, he lost that spark of life he used to have.
Micky: I vaguely remember that time. :P
John: Yeah, it wasn't long after your mother died havin' you.
Lillian: Doesn't that ol' geezer know how to love someone?
Micky: *sighs* Doesn't seem like it. :P :(
John: (Quietly) He did, once. I thought they might even wed, but...well, she walked out in the end. :(
Little Boy: (Tugs Peter; he is a tiny fellow with pale blond hair and a crutch) Papa, I don't think Mistah Scrooge is all that bad. He might be as nice as you, if he had a family of his own and someone who cared about him.
Peter: (Lifts the boy into his arms) You know what, Tim? That's what I think, too, and one of the reasons I still work for him. I've never given up hope that he may someday change his mind about people and Christmas. (He turns towards the twins) Time to go home, children. (Waves at Micky) Good bye, Fred! Good bye, everyone! Have a wonderful Christmas! :D
Micky: *waves* Bye, Bob! Bye, kids! And a Merry Christmas to all of you! :D
(Peter walks off in one direction with the children and Micky and the other revelers go off in the other, as both the revolving sets and the camera follow them as they pass the forbidding exterior of Scrooge's house.)
Micky: *emerges again, stage right* A dark and threatening building, it is. Nobody lives in it but Scrooge. The other rooms let out as offices. The yard is so dark that Scrooge gropes with his hands through the fog and frost to the black old doorway of the house on which is a rather large, ornate knocker, with odd, almost facial features. Scrooge puts his key in the lock and glances at the knocker as it changes to Marley's face.
Mr. Bennett: (Wails as well as he can; it's a bit tinny and obviously pre-recorded) Scrooge...
Mike: (Squints) Jacob Marley? (Finally scowls) Bah, humbug! (Even so, he looks more than a bit worried as he hastily enters, goes quickly upstairs, and runs into the two rooms upstairs. He goes into the closed room and emerges in his dressing gown and bedcap, with a pan of gruel in his hand. As he sits down at the table in front of the tiny fire, a small bell over the mantel rings. Mike looks up, as there was no wind or anything in the house that could have rung that bell. There's nothing for a few seconds; no sound, barely even a breath from Mike.)
Mike: (Looks out from behind his big, old chair) Who...who is there? :o
*As Mike turns back around, a haze comes through the door, covering almost the entire door. As it dissipates, we begin to see Mr. Bennett standing at the door, wrapped in chains.*
Bennett: *as eerily as he can* Scrooge!
Mike: (Rubs his eyes) Jacob Marley? (Scowls again) No! It's humbug still! I won't believe it! :p
Bennett: Ask me who I was, Scrooge.
Mike: Okay, who WERE you?
Bennett: In LIFE, I was your partner, Jacob Marley.
Mike: Um, can you, um, sit down? :o
Bennett: I can.
Mike: Do it, then.
*Bennett sits down on the opposite side of the fireplace, as if he were rather used to it. Scrooge stares at the ghost's fixed stare as he sits perfectly motionless, though there seems to be a hazy outline around him.*
Mike: Oh, this is insane! Humbug! (He crosses his arms in that grumpy Mike-fashion ;) )
Bennett: Scrooge, why do you doubt your senses?
Mike: Because a little thing might make them cheat! You might not be any more than some sour gruel, or an undigested blob of mustard or bit of gravy from my dinner in town! There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are! Humbug, I say! :p
Bennett: *slight smile* "More of gravy than of grave?" That's terrible, Scrooge. You were never very good at jokes. :P ;)
Mike: You think I'm bein' funny? (He picks up a toothpick) You know, if I swallowed this, I could be done with a whole legion's worth of you in about five seconds! Humbug! X(
Micky: *appears stage right again as Bennett stands; once again matches the narration with their actions* At this, the spirit raises a frightful cry, and shakes its chain with such a dismal and appalling noise, that Scrooge holds on tight to his chair, to save himself from falling in a swoon. Marley starts taking off the bandage round its head, as if it were too warm to wear in-doors. When Marley's lower jaw drops down to his breast, Scrooge falls on his knees, and clasps his hands before his face.
Mike: (Whimpers; more to himself) Did those "pro" writers HAVE to include this part? This is just too damn freaky! (Out loud) Mercy! Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me so? :o
Bennett: Man of the worldly mind! Do you believe in me or not?
Mike: (Mutters to himself) With your mouth hangin' like that? Heck YEAH! :p (Out loud) I do. I must. But, (nods at the chains) you are fettered. Why is this so?
Bennett: I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?
Mike: Um... (He just shakes in his chair; mutters) Man, I wish they'd skipped this part. :p
Bennett: Or would you know the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago. You have labored on it, since. It is a ponderous chain!
Mike: (Inspects the chains, then says, fearfully) Help me, Jacob! Speak comfort to me!
Bennett: Comfort? *shakes his head* You will be haunted by three spirits.
Mike: I'd rather not. :p
Bennett: Without these visits. You cannot hope to avoid the path I tread. Expect the first ghost tonight when the bell tolls one!
Mike: Please! Spirit! Jakob! :o
Micky: *still stage right* And with that, the spirit of Scrooge's partner vanished into the darkness leaving him once again alone in his room.
Mike: (Looks around and rubs his stomach) I've gotta watch that gruel. (Pushes said foodstuff aside and looks around the room again, checking every nook and cranny with his candle before he says, a bit shakily) Bah, humbug! (Snuffs out the candle, puts it next to his bed, flops on the bed, and pulls the curtains. The lights in the theater go out, and the curtain closes.)