Everyone ready to audition for Byrn Mayr House?

Peter: I hope we get to meet Valerea...

Robert: Oui.

Ready!

David: I am.

(We open on the road to what turns out to be a large stone fortress, even larger than the O'Connely's in Ireland. It sends forbidding shadows over the group as their cart bounces along.)

Robert: It is not the friendliest place, is it?

Peter: It makes me shiver.

(The carriage drives over a drawbridge and into the main courtyard. We see several young men preparing to get into carriages, arguing amongst themselves.)

Young Man #1: (Whiny) But I will marry her!

Young Man #2: No, me! She's been my friend since we were children!

Young Man #3: You? You're an imbecile! She'd never have you! I have rank and status.

Young Man #1: You're plain and can't dance. She'd rather have someone who'll...

Young Man #3: Run out the first chance he gets for some wench.

Robert: (As he stops the carriage) What seems to be the trouble, Monseiurs?

Young Man #2: What does a peasant, and a foreign one, care?

Peter: Who are you arguing about?

Young Man #1: You must be a dolt! Why, the Lady Valera, of course!

Robert: (Growls) Don't talk about him like that! He's smarter than the three of you put together!

Ursula: (Puts her hand on Robert's shoulder) Calm down. Remember the audition.

Robert: Where can we meet a (pulls out a piece of paper) Dauben of Taran?

Young Man #1: Lord Morgan's right-hand man? He's in the study.

Robert: Merci.

*Suddenly, dirt balls appear to sail through the air. They land right on the young men.*

Young Man #1: Oh! Who did that? (They look around, but the cart has already moved on.)

Ursula: Did you have to do that?

Georgi: *Shrugs* Yeah.

Robert: They deserved it. If that is what Lady Valerea has had to choose from, no wonder she has not married.

(There's an older man in a fine suit of clothes standing by the kitchen door. He smiles as Herman comes out.)

Dauben: Hello, everyone. You must be Herman. My brother Lew told me about you. Said you're the finest singer he ever had.

Herman: Thank you.

Dauben: And these must be the other musicians! Well, if the messanger is any indication, my brother thinks you're quite good. He says he can spare you for our ball if you pass the audition. Lady Valerea, Lord Morgan, and a few other members of the court are waiting in the ballroom now.

Ursula: (As Dauben helps her out of the cart) That's wonderful! Thank you for arranging this, Dauben.

Dauben: All I ask is for you to do well, and to make his Lordship and her Ladyship happy. Goodness knows she needs some happiness. Her mother died birthing her sister, and she has lots of older male cousins, but no older woman to care for her. She's grown up...well, a bit wild.

Robert: Perhaps what she needs is a man to settle down with.

Dauben: That's what her father's hoping, but she resists the idea. (Makes a face) I can't honestly blame her. Morgan means well, but some of the lads he's invited to this affair are little more than spoiled children. That girl needs a man, not a little boy.

Ursula: Perhaps someone more suitable will appear at the ball. (She turns to the driver) Will you take care of our cart?

Robert: See to it that you don't break it or damage it in any way.

Stable Boy: I wouldn't do that! I'll take good care of it and the horses. (He leads it away)

(Cut to inside. It's a smaller version of the ballroom set, more like the ballroom for the Manor House in "Flashback to the Past." Valerea - Valerie - and her father sit at the head of a table. Valerie wears a long green gown trimmed with gold and a simple green and gold circlet. Her father wears blue silk hose and blouse and has a plain, heavy gold doublet. There's yet another young man there with them, one who looks very familiar. His impeccably-tailored clothing is of a darker color and is less elaborate than Morgan and Valerea's. His high nose is turned up in the air, and his whines are easily heard even from outside the ballroom.)

Ronald: (As they enter) Valerea, why should we even go through this silly ball? You know you want to marry me!

Valerea: No, I don't know that. If I did, I would have married you already.

Lord Morgan: Ronald, don't throw yourself... (turns to Dauben with a smile) Ahh, hello. These must be the musicians your brother suggested.

Ronald: Quite a motely lot, I must say! Look at their hair and their plain clothing!

Robert: You're not exactly a blushing rose yourself. (Ursula elbows him)

Ronald: I'll beg your pardon?

Ursula: (Mutters to Robert) I know he's a silly ass, but please try to keep your temper around him and go play, before we lose this audition?

(Robert just glares at Ronald and goes to the others. Ronald glares back.)

Peter: (He grabs David) David, look at her. She...she's beautiful! Look at her eyes, and that hair that goes to the floor, and her nose, and...

David: *Grins* Why, Peter, I think you like her!

Peter: (Shakes his head) I can't talk to girls. They laugh at me. Besides, I am just a peasant musician. She is a lady.

Robert: I wish that didn't matter so much. If you like her, you should tell her.

Peter: (He turns white) I couldn't do that!

Georgi: Yes, you can!

Morgan: I would like to hear a number from the young singer...Master Herman?...with the band. Then the band can play.

Herman: I know just the song.

Robert: Then lead us away, oh bon singer.

(Peter can't stop staring at Valerea...and she seems rather interested in him, too.)

Herman: *Nods to the fellas* Gentlemen, we'll do "I'm Into Something Good."

Robert: I like that one. It is fun.

(They all bow and begin the song. Lord Morgan nods, smiling.)

Lord Morgan: (Goes to Herman as the song ends) Very good, young man! You have enormous energy.

Valerea: He certainly did very well.

Ronald: Aren't you a bit...seasoned...for a youthful crowd?

Herman: Does it really matter?

Lord Morgan: No, it doesn't. The song is right. And how about you, boys?

Robert: We have a good song. Herman, do you play mandolin?

Herman: I do.

Peter: You can use Georgi's. (He hands him one.)

Robert: We will do one of my songs, "You May Just Be the One."

Peter: (Smirks; leans over Georgi) Did he just say one of his own songs wrong?

Georgi: *Nods* That's why he doesn't usually put the title IN the song.

Robert: (Rolls his eyes) I will count off. Un, and deux, and... (They begin "You Just MAY Be the One," with Robert blushing a bit.)

(Valerea more openly eyes Peter...and Peter eyes her back. Lord Morgan frowns. The boy seems nice enough, but he's not certain he likes this attraction between his wealthy, beautiful daughter and a common musician...and a foreign one, at that. Ronald waits a whole minute before rolling his eyes and opening his mouth to end the song, though the boys partially drown him out.)

Ronald: (He goes over to them, finally ending the song) That's quite enough!

Ursula: Lord Ronald, what was wrong? That's one of Robert's best songs.

Ronald: Surely, your Lord and Ladyship, you wouldn't want someone so common...

Lord Morgan: They were good performers, Ronald. One more crack out of you, and I'll send you home to your mother without an invitation to the ball.

Ronald: But their music is common and ugly! It's for the local rabble. Some of our court musicians could...

Valerea: Could never produce so fine and enjoyable a sound as they do! (She nods at the group) You can stay here the night. (Smiles at Laryen, who is with Ursula) The ladies can stay with Mary and Elsa, our maids. The boys can have the rooms over the stables.

Robert: (Bows) Merci, mademoiselle.

Ronald: But...but...

Georgi: Thank you very much.

David: *bows* Thank you.

*Georgi elbows Peter to say "Thank you".*

Peter: (He's jolted out of staring at Valerea; blushes and bows) Uh, yes. Thank you!

Ronald: But they're dreadful!

Lord Morgan: I say they're quite good, and I am lord here, Ronald! Never forget that. I don't care if your father is my good friend. It doesn't give you the right to decide who is running this fortress and who isn't!

Valerea: And it's my ball...and I say they stay, too.

Ronald: (He bows) Very well, Lord Morgan. (Turns to Valerea) I'll await you in the parlor, my sweet darling. We'll have tea there and discuss the ball and our impending engagement. After all, there's no way you couldn't choose me. (He kisses her hand so hastily, he ends up kissing her arm. She pulls away from him, making a face. Peter, who isn't looking where he's going, runs into him as he leaves.)

Peter: I am sorry...

Ronald: Be careful, peasant! (Makes a face) And what were you, a peasant, doing staring at Lady Valerea? You could be hanged for that in some countries!

Peter: It will not do me harm here. I could stare at her if she were a queen!

Ronald: (Sticks his nose in the air again) Peasants! (His nose is so far in the air, he doesn't see where he's going. He runs into the door before finally making his way out. Lord Morgan shakes his head as he turns to Ursula.)

Lord Morgan: Forgive Ronald's rudeness, everyone. He's unaccustomed to being with people younger than himself. I have told his father, my dear friend Lord Firth, that he shouldn't let his wife coddle that boy so!

Valerea: I would love to have all of you play for my ball! You have such spark and energy. (Eyes Peter) And you're quite easy on the eyes. (He blushes.)

Lord Morgan: The ball is tonight at 7. You will meet in the ballroom at 5 to rehearse after you have dinner with the servants.

Robert: We'll be there at 4 to rehearse.

Lord Morgan: That's the spirit! I like a man who knows how to work hard. We'll see you lads there!

Valerea: As will I. (She curtsies a little, blushing now herself, and leaves)

Robert: His lordship seems alright, but that Ronald...

(Peter stares after Valerea, lost in his thoughts.)

Ursula: I think this will be a very pleasant job. I talked to Dauben, and it seems his Lordship pays quite well.

Robert: Good. (Makes a face) But we have to do something about Ronald. I don't like the way he's acting with us.

Ursula: Now, don't start trouble...

Peter: She is so beautiful. I wish I could court her, but... (he frowns) I am peasant.

Robert: I wish I could make that snobby Ronald look foolish. He's a nasty little man.

Georgi: Give him enough of a chance, and I'm sure he'll make himself look foolish.

Robert: Didn't he say he was meeting with Lady Valerea in the parlor?

Peter: Yes, but what does that...

Robert: Who wants to make Ronald look foolish?

Ursula: I don't think that's a good idea. We might lose this job.

Robert: Not if they don't recognize us.

Ursula: I don't like this. Peter, if you like this girl, you should really tell her.

Peter: I can't do that! I'm a peasant!

Robert: What if you didn't look like one?

Peter: What?

Robert: David, could Pierre borrow some of your good clothes? He might be able to borrow some from Dauben, too.

Peter: But...what's going on?

David: Certainly!

Ursula: What are you all doing?

Robert: Ursula, you, David, and Dauben help Pierre get dressed. Herman, do you think you could play mandolin? We'll tell them Pierre became ill.

Herman: I'd be happy to play.

Peter: But I...

Robert: No buts! You are going to be handsomest man at that ball, and you are going to win Valerea's heart.

Peter: I want to, but...I know nothing about ladies! I could never talk to a lady!

Ursula: I'll help you with that.

Robert: (Turns to the others) Georgi, you, me, Laryen, and Herman are going to work on Ronald.

Georgi: I'd be more than happy to.

Robert: (He gathers the entire group in a circle) Now, here's the way it's going to go. We'll need some servant's clothes...

("I'm a Believer" begins as we cut to a large parlor that looks like the parlor room at the Montgomery House with heavier, more medieval furnishings. Valerea, now in a periwinkle blue dress and plain circlet, and Ronald, now in dark navy velvet, sit and wait for their tea. Ronald takes Valerea's hand, but she's not paying attention. Her mind is far away, dreaming of a certain sweet-seeming young musician with golden hair...)

(Robert goes in first, dressed in Mike's ruffly costume from "Prince and the Monkees." He bows before Ronald and Valerea as Ronald tries to hold her hand and stuffs menus in them instead. Ronald just throws the menus back. He doesn't want menus! He wants his tea, cakes, and sausages, and he wants them now! Robert just makes a face. Ok, don't get your hose in a snit! He goes off.)

*Georgi and Laryen come out with tea. Georgi 'accidentaly' drops the tea in Ronnie's lap.*

(Ronald jumps up and dances around! Valerea can't help giggling. He looks so silly! Georgi tries to wipe the tea off, but he keeps pushing him away...and they both end up falling onto the floor in a tangled heap. Valerea and Laryen help the two to their feet. Ronald growls and orders Georgi and Laryen to be sent away to get fresh tea...and fired.)

(Robert and Herman come out next. Robert cuts the sausages for Ronald and Valerea very, very slowly. He stuffs a piece in Ronald's mouth every time he attempts to tell Valerea how much he wants to be her husband. Valerea has to put her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.)

*Herman trips on the rug. The cake he carries goes flying...and lands smack on Ronald's head.*

Ronald: (Jumps up as the music ends, yelling) OUT! EVERYBODY OUT! NOW!

Robert: But, Mon...Sir, your tea...

Ronald: This whole incident has been a total shambles! Valerea, you must talk to your father about the state of your servants. They are the most appalling idiots I've ever seen! I'm going to go change for the ball. I'll talk to you later. Alone. (He takes off, stumbling over the same place in the rug that Herman did.)

Valerea: (She goes to them) First of all, I know you're really those musicians we just hired. I thought it was hilarious, and Ronald deserved it...but he's going to be awfully angry.

Robert: He does not frighten me, Mademoiselle.

Valerea: Where's that golden-haired lad? The one named Peter? He had a very interesting accent, and he seemed so sweet and shy...

Robert: (Quickly) Oh, he felt ill and went to bed. He won't be playing tonight.

Valerea: (The corner of her lips drop instantly) Oh, that's such a shame! I was looking forward to seeing him again tonight.

Robert: You do not care that he is peasant?

Valerea: (She raises her chin) Father may make the rules, but I'm my own woman. He has other Court members who can run the household just as efficiently. I make my own rules.

Robert: You are very strong fille, Lady Valerea. And unlike Lord Ronald, you are not a fool.

Valerea: Just keep that in mind the next time you decide to play silly pranks. (She nods) I'll expect to see you at the ballroom by five with your music list. Please feel free to spend the rest of the evening rehearsing, resting, or tending to your friend. Perhaps I'll visit him later, too. Cook Harriet makes excellent chicken soup. (She leaves with a smile on her face.)

Robert: I have the feelin' she knows Pierre is not ill. (Turns to the others) Speaking of, let's prepare him for the ball, before Valerea is not the only one who figures out we aren't servants.

(Fade out on Robert and the others leaving the parlor. Fade in on the now-crowded ballroom. Valerea wears the golden gown and circlet from "Monkees In Wonderland" and several other fairy-tale oriented stories. The Guardians and Herman perform on the platform. Herman sings "Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter." He dances, clowns with the crowd, and has a whale of a time.)

Ursula: (She and Laryen are in the crowd; she wears a simple but elegant white gown) They're certainly enjoying themselves. That Herman knows how to work an audience.

Laryen: (Wears a plainer purple gown) He sure does.

Ursula: Peter should be making his entrance soon. I hope he makes a good impression.

Valerea: (She smiles) Hello, Mistress Ursula, (nods) Miss Laryen. You look very nice tonight. (She yawns.)

Ursula: Tired, dear?

Valerea: No, just bored. I haven't seen anyone the entire night I'd like to talk to for five minutes, much less marry!

Ursula: Oh, I'm sure you'll find someone soon.

Valerea: I hope so, or I might just curl up somewhere and take a nap.

Ursula: I wouldn't do that. More guests are arriving, and there should be someone...

Ronald: (He pushes between Valerea and Ursula) Hello, dearest. I'm so glad I found you. Isn't this song just awful? So silly!

Valerea: I think it's charming. Can't you do something besides put everything down? Nothing pleases you! The music doesn't please you. The food doesn't please you. The decorations don't please you!

Ronald: They're not good enough for you, or for me! (He pulls Valerea to him) Can't you just see it in your heart to marry me? I'm the best man for you. I'll run your household, keep peasant nobodies out and make sure only the best gets in.

Valerea: Ronald... (That's when the music stops....and Valerea's eyes are on the young man standing on the landing near the entrance. It's Peter, all right. He wears David's blue Lord outfit from "Flashback to the Past," a gold circlet, and rings that are probably glass imitations, but shine like the real thing.)

Robert: (Nods at Georgi) He's here. I think "Sometime In the Morning" is romantique enough for now, don't you?

Georgi: I think so, too.

Robert: Our next song will be for all you lovers in the audience. "Sometime In the Morning."

Peter: (As they begin to play) Hello, Frauline Valerea. I am, uh...

Valerea: (She smiles and takes his hand) You don't need to tell me. (She leans over him and whispers in his ear) I know who you are.

Peter: You...you do?

Valerea: I'm no fool. I can see through that disguise.

Ronald: Well, I can't. Would you mind filling me in?

Valerea: No. (She dances off with him.)

Ronald: How rude can you get? All these low musicians must be rubbing off on Valerea! (He goes after her, but Laryen and Ursula block him.)

Ursula: Leave them alone.

Ronald: But...

Ursula: If you don't leave them be, I'll have Laryen throw you across the room.

Ronald: I'd like to see THAT! That bit of a thing couldn't throw a cold across the room!

*Laryen shrugs and goes over to Ronald. She lifts him effortlessly and does indeed throw him across the room. She dusts her hands off.*

Ursula: (Grins) Good work.

(Peter and Valerea end their dance as "Sometime In the Morning" ends. They walk out of the ballroom, hand in hand. Robert turns to the others.)

Robert: Let's start a fast song, It will keep all those suitors' minds off following them.

Robert: Herman, why don't you give the crowd something to do besides think of amour?

Herman: *Grins and nods* I've got just the song.

*Herman goes right into "Jezebel" and rocking the crowd.*

(Ronald stumbles through the crowd, looking for Lord Morgan. He finds him and Dauben dancing rather well with two ladies in fancy silk gowns.)

Ronald: (He's shocked) Your lordship! Those are indecent moves!

Lord Morgan: Oh, go dry out.

Dauben: You always were a bit of a wet blanket, Ronald. Even your father has more life in him.