And since we're now low on time, we'll begin. Everyone ready to save Peter?

(Mike howls.)

Micky: Ready!

Valerie: (Does a bit of howling herself) Yes! X(

Davy: Me too!

Honeywell: I just want to make arrests and get my job back. :p

Daphne: Let's go!

(We open in a large old receptionist area, covered with Victorian wallpaper and antiques. There's a blue light, and the entire group appears.)

Valerie: This must be the Inn. (She turns to Mike) Do you think you could somehow sniff out Peter? He must be around here somewhere, and it would be faster than us spending the rest of this story searching the whole place for him.

(Mike nods and presses his nose to the floor.)

Daphne: I'll bet where we find Peter, we'll find Sheila and maybe Madame.

Valerie: (Nods) Oh, I've already guessed that. My throat is sore, and it wasn't before. They muted him.

(Mike howls softly and nods up a wide, dark staircase.)

Honeywell: Looks like he wants us to follow him.

Micky: Would have to be into the darkness.

Valerie: Where else would a devil and a Communist spy be?

Honeywell: In a bright place where it would be less easy for us to trip over things?

(Mike races up the staircase. The others follow him as softly as they can. He presses his nose to the ground when he hits the second floor and sniffs around again, trying to pick up Peter's scent.)

Valerie: Mike, is he here? Where is he?

(Mike ignores her and keeps sniffing.)

Honeywell: (Raises his eyebrows) Did you just call that dog "Mike?"

Valerie: That's the missing Michael Nesmith.

Honeywell: But...but...but...

Valerie: Stop sounding like a dying motorboat. It's a long story that goes very far back, but the devils made him that way at the moment.

(Mike nods curtly at them, then returns to sniffing.)

Daphne: You know, this is kind of cool, following a dog on a mystery.

Valerie: That I hope leads to my missing husband.

Micky: I know I've heard of something like this before.

(Mike stops before a door and nods again, then howls as softly as a wolf can. He's here.)

Valerie: It's probably locked. Does anyone have a hacksaw or something?

Micky: We could just try it anyway.

Honeywell: Now, why would they leave... (He turns the nob and the door opens) ...well, maybe they would.

(Mike pushes the door open with his nose. The group walks into a dark room.)

Valerie: Ow! Who ran into me?

(Mike howls.)

Davy: Sorry, Mike! Didn’t mean to step on your tail.

(That's when the light flips on suddenly, leaving everyone blinking. Honeywell was the one who ran into Valerie; he peers out from behind her. The room is an elaborate affair, filled with ornate, outrageous antiques and a gigantic four-poster canopy bed awash with black and red ribbons and ruffles. Peter is tied to the bed and blindfolded with the infamous black silk scarves. Sheila strokes his blond hair gently, whispering into his ear to calm him. Madame holds one of Peter's own arrows to his throat. Several of Madame’s men stand around the room.)

Sheila: (Laughs) I knew they would, Bard. (Looks up at the shocked group) I knew your friends would fall into our trap.

Honeywell: Um, Miss Sheila Saunders and Madame Elena Olinsky, I have the authority to place both of you under arrest.

Madame: Ah, but do not move so quick, foolish spy. We wish to make trade.

Valerie: (Narrows her eyes) What kind of a trade?

Sheila: The incompetent spy and your souls for the life of the Golden Bard and the human form of the White Knight.

(Mike growls, shaking his head angrily. X( )

Valerie: (Puts her hand on her sword hilt) And if we don't?

Madame: (She pushes the sharp point of the arrow closer to Peter's throat, making a thin bloody line; he tries to pull away, but Sheila grabs his hair tightly) Your little Bard will not make music or daffodils any longer.

Honeywell: I have no desire to spend any more time with any of you ladies.

Valerie: I...oh, Peter...

(Mike's eyes are filled with a furious fire. He finally runs for Madame and bites her in the leg as hard as he can. Madame screams and falls to the floor, clutching her leg, as "Good Clean Fun" begins and she orders her men to attack.)

*Micky and Davy take the cue and go after Sheila. All three wind up on the floor.*

(Valerie and Mike bite and cut Peter's scarves. Valerie gives him a long, long kiss.)

(Mike grins a very big, wolfish grin and jumps on a whole bunch of men at once, tearing their clothes and biting the ends off of guns.)

(Honeywell goes around arresting people.)

*Lauren beats up on Sheila while Micky and Davy rest.*

(Madame limps over to Honeywell. She grabs him and decks him as hard as she can, dusting off her hands. She limps off to find Sheila or Mike.)

(Mike literally pulls the rug out of two guys, knocking them down the stairs, as the fight begins to spill out to the first floor, and then the courtyard.)

*Lauren wrestles with Sheila.*

(We see people chasing Madame's men all over the ghost town. Valerie duels with two of them at the same time over by the blacksmiths. A rusty iron wheel falls over the two men, and they roll out. Valerie looks up and grins at Daphne, who sits in the rafters wielding her spear.)

(Mike claws open several beer barrels at the saloon; they send huge sprays of liquor that blast the men out to the street. Mike laps up a little beer himself, then howls with a grin and runs after a few more men, running between their legs and knocking them over.)

(Madame is after Honeywell again. She's about to reach for him when a flurry of arrows pin her to the wall. She curses silently as we cut to Peter, his bow drawn and ready to pin her more, if needed.)

(Mike, Micky, Daphne, and Davy tie up the last of Madame's men with long blue silk scarves as the music ends.)

Valerie: (As she, Peter, and Honeywell joins the others) Nice work.

(Mike nods with a grin.)

Honeywell: (Dusts off his hands) That's that.

Peter: (Shakes his head) We're missing Lauren and Sheila.

Micky: Last I saw, they were both still rolling around on the floor... *he's cut off by the two in question tumbling into the group. Lauren sits on Sheila*

Lauren: Miss me? ;)

Honeywell: (As the others applaud) Very nice work. You could teach some of our men.

Lauren: Thank you. ;)

(Mike leans in Sheila's face and growls.)

Sheila: (Wrinkles her nose) Ugh, dog breath mixed with beer breath.

Valerie: Look, we're running out of time, so we'll make this short, quick, and easy to understand. Turn Mike back. Now. Or you'll be getting up close and personal with that wolf's breath.

(Mike growls and bares his teeth at her.)

Sheila: What if I don't?

Valerie: Mike, eat her. Do the really tender parts first.

(Mike opens his mouth to bite the tender parts.)

Sheila: (Eyes widen) All right, all right, I'll do it! Just get the Mother off of me!

Lauren: *gets off* Oh, alright.

Madame: What? Sheila, what are you doing?

Sheila: I like those parts!

(Sheila concentrates. She tugs at a silver snap on the collar. It gives in a black light, and the collar comes off and vanishes. Mike returns to his human form in a blast of dark blue light.)

Mike: (Feels himself) I...oh, thank GOD, I never thought I'd be so happy to be six feet tall an' on two feet!

Peter: Michael! (He grabs Mike and hugs him hard)

Mike: Uh, Pete, you're squeezin' the rest of my life outta me.

Peter: (Drops Mike, who almost ends up on the ground again) Oh, sorry Michael.

Honeywell: What are we going to do with her?

Mike: Tie her up or do somethin' to her so your boys can pick her up with Madame and the rest of her crowd.

Valerie: (Grins) I think Lauren, Micky, and Davy should have that honor. They've done so much in this fanfic.

*The trio huddles over Sheila. When they back off, Sheila's been neatly hog tied...with a bow.* ;)

Mike: Nice work, guys.

Peter: I like the bow!

Honeywell: Nice touch.

Micky: Thanks!

Davy: It was nothing. ;)

Madame: Sheila, you promised you would help me! You said I could get my revenge! X(

Sheila: I never said it would WORK.

Valerie: Why don't we get in the MonkeeMobile and see if we can find your men, Honeywell?

Honeywell: (Blushes) I guess they got lost. I dropped my walkie-talkie back in the saloon and couldn't give them further directions. :">

Mike: (Groans) Ok, that's it. This is the LAST time, and I mean the VERY last time, we do ANYTHING for you or the CIS, Inspector. We were glad to help out, but our involvement with you ends NOW. Got that?

Honeywell: We'll see, Nesmith.

(Cut to an overhead shot of the MonkeeMobile as the group climbs into it and hits the road. Not far from the ghost town, we see a group of cars coming in the other direction, including a taxi cab. The cars and the MonkeeMobile stop on the side of the road. Emma jumps out of the taxi.)

Emma: Mike! Honey, you're ok! Thank god!

Mike: Em! (He literally vaults out of the MonkeeMobile and over to Emma, holding her and kissing her) Darlin', I never thought I'd be able to take you in my arms like this again...

Honeywell: (Goes over to his agents) Broderick, where have you BEEN? :p

Broderick: Um, we got lost, sir. There's a lot of desert out there!

Honeywell: Never mind. We have perpetrators for you to pick up at the ghost town. I'll go back with you. (Glares as best he can at Micky and Davy) It'll be a lot better for my sanity.

Broderick: Already? But I thought...

Honeywell: (Shakes his head) These good people helped me clean up most of it. (Nods at the group)

Broderick: But...how...

Honeywell: (Sighs) Don't ask, Red Leader. Just go.

(Honeywell leads Broderick back to his car. He leans out of the car after he climbs in.)

Honeywell: I'll need you kids at headquarters for a full statement tomorrow morning. And (smiles) thanks again. I literally owe all of you my neck and my job.

Peter: Anytime, Inspector!

Valerie: Well, ALMOST anytime.

(Honeywell and his men drive off into the sunset...but then turn around, passing the MonkeeMobile, after realizing they went in the wrong direction.)

Peter: (Smiles at the others) Well, all's well that ends well.

Valerie: I hope the equipment got back to the government all right.

Daphne: That's what started all this in the first place!

Micky: Um...I got a question...

Valerie: What?

Micky: Where'd Mike and Emma go?

(Everyone's eyes travel right, as the camera moves to Mike and Emma, who are very close to making out. Mike growls and pants.)

Mike: (Looks up and growls) Hey, could us animals have some privacy here? (Mike pulls down a red and yellow "The End" graphic as we hear more panting, growling, gasping, and even some decidedly happy howling, along with Emma’s "Mike, do I smell beer on your breath?")