Ok, now that we've had chocolate, everyone ready to begin? ;)

(Mike howls.)

Peter: Where's Michael? :o

Micky: Ready!

Davy: I don't like this. :P

(We open on the movie set, where a bunch of extras dance to a wild version of "Long Title: Do I Have To Do This All Over Again?" Bob Rafelson shouts "Cut!" off-camera, and everyone stops and gathers in groups. Micky goes over to Davy, both in costume.)

Micky: I like it. Bawdy and raucous, just as it should be.

Davy: Would be nice if the birthday boy and 'is best friend would show up, though.

Micky: *sighs* Yeah, that would be nice.

Davy: We ain't 'eard from eithah of them since last night!

Micky: I wonder what's up.

(Peter arrives at this point, looking worried.)

Peter: Guys, is Mike here?

Micky: *shakes his head* We thought he was with you.

Peter: (Shakes his head) No, he never returned from the recording studio last night, and he never picked up Katie!

Davy: Think we should go look for 'im?

Micky: Where would he have gone?

Peter: (Shakes his head) I don't know. (Looks like he's going to cry) And that's not all that's wrong. (Gulps) The equipment's gone, too. Valerie heard this morning.

Micky: What!?

Davy: Bloody 'ell.

Peter: I don't know how, but every single last bit of equipment is gone, and no one can find Mike.

Jack: (Comes over, annoyed) Pete, where have you been? And where's Mike? We need to do the party scene today!

Peter: Mike is, um, ur...he's sick. Yeah, he got the flu tonight and may be out for a few days.

Jack: Well, this is just great! And he seemed fine yesterday!

Peter: You know how fast these things can come on.

Micky: *snaps his fingers* Just like that.

Jack: Well, I'll go talk to Bob and see what he wants to do. We could probably do the scene of Pete and Davy in the bathroom and Micky's speech in the Black Box.

Peter: We'll join you there in a minute, Jack. We need to rehearse our lines.

Jack: (Frowns) Sure. (Raises his eyebrow) Is there something wrong? I mean, you guys seem kinda nervous.

Peter: Nothing wrong.

Jack: Well, all right. (He walks off; Peter turns to the others)

Peter: What are we going to do? We can't keep lying about Mike, and Katie wants to see her daddy.

Davy: We 'ave to find 'im.

Micky: He couldn't've just disappeared.

Peter: And then, there's the equipment. How did all that fancy equipment disappear so quickly?

Davy: I don't like this, mates.

Peter: Maybe one of us should call the girls. Valerie's at work and Emma's still working on that article in New York, but I know the other two should be at home.

Micky: I can try Lauren. Worst that can happen is she doesn't realize her communicator is going off over the noise from the kids. ;)

Peter: (As the guys duck into their dressing rooms) Ok, Mick, you can do it now!

Micky: Okay. *flips open the dial on his watch* Lauren? Babe, you there?

Lauren: *answers, sighing* Thanks a lot, Mick. You just caused me to get hit in the face with baby food mush.

Micky: Uh, oops. Sorry about that.

*Lauren grumbles.*

(Davy laughs outright; Peter snorts.)

Lauren: I heard that, guys!

Micky: *tries desperately to not laugh; clears his throat* Hey, babe, you hear anything from Mike today? Or anything about the equipment?

Lauren: No, nothing from Mike today. The equipment's at the record company, right?

Micky: Not anymore. Mike's nowhere to be found, either.

Lauren: That isn't good.

Micky: No, it isn't. Listen, if you hear anything about, well, anything, let us know.

Lauren: You got it, Mick. And... *groans again* Would you stop throwing your food at Mommy and EAT it for a change!? *lets out an exasperated sound*

Micky: *cringes* There's a rain slicker in the hall closet if you need it, babe.

(Davy and Peter can't help it. They double over laughing.)

Lauren: *annoyed* Thanks. I'll let you know if I hear anything, Mick. We need to clean up, here. Oh, and would you let those knuckleheads in the background know that I will get them back for LAUGHING!

Micky: *closes his watch* I think you two heard that.

(That only makes them laugh harder.)

Peter: (Between chuckles) Sorry...Lauren!

Davy: *wipes at his eyes* Sorry, mate, but that was too much.

Micky: Well, Lauren hasn't heard anything.

Peter: Other than we're dead the next time we see her.

Davy: We'll stay away until she forgets. ;)

Peter: (As he composes himself) Maybe one of us should get a hold of Honeywell somehow. Do you guys remember where the CIS' "secret" headquarters were in town?

Micky: Wasn't it in one of the old movie studios?

Peter: Mammoth! It was in Mammoth Studios, wasn't it?

Who wants to call them? The number should be around here someplace... (grabs a phone book from under a pile of sheet music and makeup and flips through it before he realizes) Wait a minute. We can’t call them! They're secret! (Looks at the others) How are we going to get to them? (Sighs) I wish Mike were here!

Micky: We can find them! We know where Mammoth Studios is. We'll have to use a little subterfuge. ;)

Peter: Sneaky stuff?

Davy: Why not?

Micky: Yeah, isn't there some spy show that opened with the guy dropping through the floor of a phone booth, then walking down a hall with all sorts of crazy doors and such? I bet it's something like that.

Peter: (Nods) Yeah. "Get Smart." Fun show. (Grins) And the sad thing is, Maxwell Smart is probably more intelligent than the entire CIS. Including Honeywell. (Shrugs) I know that's mean, but...they need us to help out?

Micky: Mean or not, it's very true. ;)

Peter: (Sighs as they head out to filming) And it sounds like they goofed again.

Davy: No kidding.

Peter: Why don't we meet at Mammoth Studios during lunch break? We'll see if we can get a hold of Honeywell or anyone.

Micky: Works for me.

Bert: (From off-camera) Hey guys, are we going to film you, or are we going to stare at these nice empty sets all day?

Peter: I think we were just paged.

Micky: Right now, I'd love to tell him to just stare at the empty sets. :P

Peter: We have to finish this movie sometime. We were supposed to have been done already.

Bert: TODAY!

Peter: (Winces) Let's go. Man, he's mad.

Micky: Sheesh. You know, he's really starting to get on my nerves. :P

Peter: He just wants to get this movie finished and in the theaters, Mick. (Nods at the studio) Come on, guys. (They head off.)

(Cut to the MonkeeMobile in front of the weed-strewn Mammoth Studios lot. The guys start to head through the gates when a man in a dark, non-descript coat and suit stops them.)

Man: Where do you think you kids are going?

Peter: We're going inside!

Man: No, you're not. You're trespassing.

Peter: We need to talk to your chief! It's really important!

Man: (Looks over their long hair and Peter's bright paisleys and knee-length fringed boots) Sure you do. Why don't you kids go on home and play around in your garage band?

Micky: *folds his arms* Very funny. :P

Peter: No, it's really important! We have to see Inspector Honeywell!

Man: (Narrows his eyes) There's no one by that name here. Now, go on, before I call the cops on you!

(Peter leads the other two away, frowning.)

Peter: He wasn't very nice!

(The man returns inside grumpily.)

Micky: Must've woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. :P

Peter: And how could he not know about Honeywell? He's his boss!

(A hand sticks out and plunks a sign that says "No Hippies Aloud" on the grassy area outside the main building.)

Peter: Well, that's not very nice either.

Micky: Hmm... looks like it's time for the subterfuge.

Peter: Oh yeah, what kind?

Davy: I don't like that look, mate. That's your "I'm going to blow somethin' to hell and gone" look.

Micky: Oh, come on, Dave. I always have this look.

Davy: That's what scares me.

Micky: Let’s try this. *concentrates--his chemistry set appears* Now, let’s see... *looks over various "ingredients"*

Peter: Oooh, what are you putting together? (Leans over Micky)

Davy: I wouldn't get that close, Petah.

Micky: This. *takes the mixture and throws it in front of them, toward the building; it lands in a blast of psychedelic-ly colored smoke*

(As "Pleasant Valley Sunday" begins, the man who had turned the guys away emerges. He now has bunny ears and buck teeth. The guys run past him. He lunges for them, but Peter pulls a carrot out of his pocket and throws it off-camera. The man hops after it.)

*An Elmer Fudd wannabe appears with a rifle. Micky points in the direction the man-turned-bunny went.* ;)

(The screen gets wavy and fuzzy as the smoke continues its way through the studio. Peter is grabbed by another man who turns into a fish. Peter's eyes widen. He drops the fish and runs!)

(Two more men chase after Micky and Davy. They melt right in front of them!)

(Peter opens a door. He walks out of it five different colors, wearing beads, and with lipstick on his cheek.)

(The three Monkees, Peter still in his beads and flowers, stop by a door that says "Explosives - Stay Out." Peter points out the door to Micky.)

*Micky grins widely.*

*Davy shakes his head.* :P

*Micky runs inside the room, followed by the other two trying to keep him OUT. There's a moment of calm, before a loud BANG and lots of sparkles floating in the midst of the smoke. The guys exit the room, dusting themselves off.*

Peter: (As the music ends) I TOLD you not to mix those two bottles with the Coca-cola!

Micky: *shrugs* But look at all the pretty colors!

Man 2: (Points at them as they come out of a door near-by) Hey, I think those are the guys who did it! They were the ones in the labs!

Peter: Uh-oh. Let's get outta here!

Micky: Eep! Run!

Davy: Time to go, mates!

Peter: In here! (They duck into a room while the men keep going. The room is dark except for one bare, bright light in the middle of the room. A man sits in a plain, stiff wooden chair under the light. A table next to it, along with a few items and a tape recorder and reels are the only other things in the room.)

Peter: That was close.

Micky: Uhh, what IS this room?

Voice: Kids? (The voice is rather weary but very familiar. The man looks up, his face initially shadowed in the dimness of the room. Peter recognizes him, though.)

Peter: Honeywell! What happened? What is this room?

Honeywell: (It is he; he wears the same suit we last saw him in, but it's rumpled; he has dark circles under his eyes) This is the interrogation room, and I'm being questioned for the disappearance of the recording equipment and your bandmate.

Micky: *quirks an eyebrow* Why in the world would they think you'd know anything about that? *Davy smacks his arm; Micky turns to Davy* What?

Honeywell: (Sighs) Dolenz, it was my idea to have all of you test the equipment, and my idea to store it at Headquarters Records. (Gulps) They...they think Nesmith and I did it and Nesmith ran out with it!

Peter: No way! Michael would never do that! He has his own recording equipment!

Honeywell: How did all of you get in our secret headquarters, and what is that stuff you're covered with?

Peter: We've been to your secret headquarters before. They aren't very secret. (Looks at Micky) Micky can explain the sparkles.

Micky: Coca Cola and a few ingredients that really shouldn't be mixed with carbonated water.

Honeywell: (Raises his eyebrows) I won't try to go further. (As voices are heard) I think you boys better get out of here. They may think you're in on it too if they find you here.

Peter: But WHY do they think you and Mike did it? Mike hasn't stolen anything, as far as I know, since he lived in Texas, and you're the chief of the CIS! :( :o

Honeywell: (Flatly - indicates the table) They found "evidence."

Micky: What kind of "evidence?"

Honeywell: My ID. Some secret papers on the recording machinery. A bit of fabric from my jacket.

Peter: Maybe I'm not the most qualified to point this out, but that's awfully sketchy.

Davy: And easily set up.

Honeywell: (Gulps) Dolenz, play back the reels on the tape player.

Micky: Alright. *goes to the reel to reel and starts it up*

(The reels begin, and though it's a bit tinny, we hear what SOUNDS like Honeywell's voice!)

"Honeywell" (on reels): Ok, let's get this stuff movin'! We have to haul it out if we're going to sell it! Let's take it all out. Don't scratch anything! This is primo stuff! These lasers could come in handy! We're going to make real use of these items! Don't put them there! Get them downstairs! I've wanted this for a long time now, and it's all gonna happen!

Peter: (As the reels continue in that vein; he's aghast) Honeywell, how COULD you?

Honeywell: I didn't do it! That wasn't me!

Peter: It sounds like you! It really does!

Davy: But that's your voice, mate.

Honeywell: But I left Headquarters last night and went back to the office! Ask my wife! Ask anybody!

Davy: Wouldn't they just cover for you?

Honeywell: Guys, I was sure YOU'D believe me!

Micky: *turns to Peter and Davy* Guys... *looks thoughtful* I believe Honeywell.

Davy: Wot?

Peter: But Micky...

Honeywell: (Small smile) Thank you, Dolenz.

Micky: This whole thing seems, well, above what you could do. Sorry, man. But... *looks over the reel to reel and inspects the tape* Something isn't right.

Honeywell: For one thing, even I don't talk THAT long. Whoever made that recording is STILL talking.

Peter: He'd need a drink by now!

Micky: *straightens* Exactly. I know who did it and how they made this recording.

Honeywell: (Leans back wearily in the chair, rubbing his forehead) Ok, Perry Mason, just who DID do it, and how DID they make this recording?

Micky: *slight grin* First, the how. Having worked on radio myself, I know the fine art of "splicing," which is taking previously recording material, cutting the tapes, and piecing them back together in an order to create something completely different. They found recordings of your voice, probably from the archives, and cut and pieced the words together to make this recording. *turns to Davy and Peter* The who: Alex.

Peter: (Nods; makes a face) He would, and he DOES tend to talk for a long, long time if you let him.

Honeywell: Wait a minute here, kids. Who's Alex?

Micky: To make a really long story short, Alex is my evil twin who's a crony of a female devil, both of whom like to wreak havoc on us. That's a long story in and of itself.

Honeywell: (Eyes become very wide) Just what have you boys been smoking on that movie set?

Micky: If only it were that easy.

Peter: (Whimpers) I'll bet they have Michael, too! :o

Honeywell: What would they want with Nesmith?

Peter: Alex doesn't like him, and the female devil likes him too much!

Micky: What wouldn't they want is a shorter list.

Honeywell: You've had run-ins with them before?

Peter: That's another long story, but we've been...dealing...with the female devil and her uncle for about five years now. Her uncle died in 1969 and she was alone for a while, but then Alex, um, came along.

Honeywell: What does any of this have to do with me and the equipment?

Peter: That, I'm not too sure about.

Micky: With the equipment, Alex is as much of an electronics buff as I am.

Honeywell: What do I have to do with anything?

Peter: Um... (looks at Micky an Davy) Now that, I don't know. Why would they want to hurt Honeywell? This is the first time we've ever gotten involved with spy stuff when the devils were around.

Micky: You've got me there.

Davy: Good question, Petah.

Honeywell: (As voices are heard) I think you boys ought to get out of here, before they catch you and think you're in on it, too.

Peter: (Shakes his head) No way! We need to figure out how to prove Alex did it! (Looks at the others) We could take Honeywell to one of our houses, or the Cave. He'd be safe there.

Micky: I have an idea. We could take him back to my house. He could help out with the kids, so that we can bring Lauren with us to help with our detective work.

Honeywell: Dolenz, I'm going to warn you, I don't know much about children.

Peter: Oh, the kids are great! You'll love them! And anyway, Micky's house is the LAST place anyone would try to look for you!

Honeywell: If you have a phone, I could do some work on my own while I'm there and round up the men who are still loyal to me.

Micky: There's a phone is practically every room!

Honeywell: Good. (Winces as voices get closer) How do you suggest we get out of here? They haven't finished my interrogation yet.

Peter: I don't think we'd be able to explain about Alex and Sheila.

Micky: My good men, the only way to travel - the blue light special.

Davy: We;d bettah catch that special fast, or else we'll 'ave lots of explaining to do. :P

Peter: Ok, guys, concentrate!

Honeywell: (As the guys concentrate) What do you mean?

Micky: We're outta here!

*As the three concentrate, Micky steers all four to the living room of his house, where they reappear.*

Micky: It's the only way to travel.

Honeywell: (He now sits on the couch in Micky's living room) Where are we?

Peter: Micky's house! (Looks at Mick) Is Lauren here right now?

Honeywell: How did we get here?

Peter: Magic! :D

Honeywell: What? :o

Micky: I'll go get Lauren. She must be upstairs. *heads out of the room*

Davy: Just go with the magic, 'Oneywell. That's anothah novel-length story to tell.

Honeywell: I won't ask. This is just too much.

Micky: *returns with Lauren* See?

Lauren: I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. *sighs* Well, at least Coco's here, too. She's still with the kids upstairs.

Honeywell: Coco?

Micky: She's my sister.

Peter: She's a good girl. She'll be a big help with the kids.

Honeywell: (Looks at Lauren) Hello, Mrs. Dolenz. You seem well. I heard you'd had another child. Congratulations. :)

Lauren: Thank you, Inspector Honeywell. :)

Honeywell: Where are the children now?

Peter: They must be sleeping, or they'd be down here, wanting their uncles to play "moosic!"

Lauren: After a rather messy lunch, we got them into the bath, then put them down for their naps. Amazingly enough, none of them made a fuss.

Honeywell: You know you could all be arrested for aiding a possible criminal.

Peter: But Micky says you didn't do it, and Micky's a genius, most of the time! :D

Honeywell: That's a relief.

Micky: Thanks, Pete. :D

Davy: Petah, don't do that.

Peter: We'll find where Alex stashed the equipment AND Michael and why he doesn't like Honeywell! (Frowns) We have to find Michael, for Katie's sake. Her mama isn't home, and she's so close to her papa. Alex hates Michael, once again for reasons it would take too long in this part to explain, and he'd really hurt him...or worse...if he got his hands on him!

Micky: In which case, we should really get going.

Peter: We'll go to the Caves and use the equipment.(Softer) And someone will need to contact Em. She probably already knows about this, but she'll be wanting details.

Honeywell: I wish all of you luck. Call me when you hear anything at all.

Peter: (Nods) Right. (Turns to the others) I'll take us there. Concentrate. (There's four dark blue lights, and the three Monkees and Lauren are gone from the room, much to the surprise of a wide-eyed, blinking Honeywell)

Honeywell: I really have to stop staying up late at the office. :p