(We open in the Pad. The kids sit at the table with Emma and Lauren, having pumpkin pie. The four Monkees sit in the living room.)

Bert: Hey, gang, that was one HECK of an adventure!

Mike: (Between bites) No kiddin'!

Micky: Have I mentioned that was really weird even for me?

Emma: And I thought the one we did LAST month was strange.

Bob: Where on EARTH did you come up with this one?

Emma: This came out of our summer-early fall idea frenzy.

Lauren: And the fact that it was a marathon was my idea.

Emma: Yes, there's a reason this story's so long, the longest we've done or will do this year. We did it for a special program, NaNoWriMo.

Lauren: I should hopefully be able to get another word tally within the next few days.

Emma: NaNoWriMo encourages people to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November, and since we were planning on this being a long story anyway and have done so much role play writing lately, we figured, why not both of us do it together and make this month's role play story our novel?

Peter: That makes sense.

Micky: No offense... but you two are nuts.*winks*

Lauren: Thank you, Mick. *winks back*

Mike: I understand you wanted to do a lot of writin', but...puttin' us IN the TV?

Emma: Why not? We figured it was the only way we would get to reference several other TV shows we love, including some that didn't exist in 1973.

Mike: I am NEVER, EVER wearin' a dress again!

Emma: What was wrong with that? (Leans over him and sniffs) You still smell a little bit like a gingersnap.

Mike: Eeeemmm, I ain't got the legs for wearin' green stripped tights!

Emma: That's your opinion. (Sighs) Sorry, Mike, but we ran out of male characters.

*Micky chuckles.*

Mike: How could a cartoon only have two guys and some insane pie maker?

Emma: Because it's for girls.

Emma: (Smirks) They actually changed Plum Puddin' to a female later.

(Peter blushes.)

Bert: What was your favorite part of this one?

Emma: Strawberry Shortcake. ;)

Mike: The actual special, which didn't go that badly, and the last TV segment in the south.

Micky: Despite getting beaten up & almost killed, I liked going back out west.

Lauren: I liked the Charlie's Angels bit & beaing up on the bad guys!

Peter: I think I liked doing the special best myself. (Grins) And being a cop was kind of fun.

Davy: Tough choice since Daph & I were running around for about 'alf of it.

Bert: Well, what are you going to do now that you're more-or-less men of leisure?

Mike: Finish the next album and actually behave like men of leisure...like enjoyin' Christmas with our families.

(Peter turns away, his eyes sparking with anger at the mention of the album, but says nothing.)

Micky: I'm going on a decorating spree! *grins widely*

Lauren: Mick's been going nuts because he hasn't been able to put the Christmas decorations up yet.

Emma: I'll be starting that the day after Thanksgiving myself.

Mike: But Eeeemm, it ain't even December yet!

Emma: Close enough.

Katie: (Looks up from her pie) Are we gonna have a tree, Papa, like always?

Mike: (Puts his hands on his daughter's shoulder and grins) Of course we are. We're all just going to have to help Mama with decorating this year, because she has to take care of us and the house and him, too.

Katie: (Sighs) Oh. Ok. (Returns to her pie)

Bob: How IS Robbie, Em?

Emma: (Sighs) Noisy. Adorable, but noisy.

Mike: He's got some pipes, that kid.

Katie: He's no fun! He doesn't play!

Emma: But he will in a few months, Katie. Remember Lizzie and Leah when they were really little?

Katie: (Sighs not unlike her mother) Yeah. (Returns to her pie)

Jordan: (Looks at Little Mick as he gobbles his pumpkin pie) "Are you guys going to have a huge tree again?"

Little Mick: *grins* Daddy's been talking about getting a large one again!

Jordan: "As big as the one last year?"

Little Mick: "Daddy says bigger. Mommy says not on your life." *shrugs*

Jordan: "Mommy says she'll have the men set up the tree and all the decorations in the ballroom and main hall again next week after Thanksgiving, but we get to decorate the parlor and the upstairs rooms!"

Jordan: "I can't wait for Christmas! It's going to be so much fun this year, and we're all going to be at home this time! I want the big Teddy Bear I saw at the toy store!"

Micky: So what's everyone want for Christmas?

Emma: Peace and quiet.

Katie: A hockey stick!

Peter: I want a new bass, and I know there are things Jordan's has his eye on.

Davy: There's a suit I 'ad my eye on that I 'inted to Daph about.

Mike: New tools. I lost a lot of stuff in the flood.

Lauren: Well... I had something in mind, but... seeing the kids getting what they want is fine by me.

Emma: How about the rest of you kids?

Jordan: Teddy bear! Teddy bear!

Little Mick: An Erector Set! *grins widely*

Shelly: I want roller skates like daddy's!

Emma: (Pats Lizzie and Leah) And what about the littlest ladies? Do you want anything?

Lizzie: Dolly!

Leah: Sit & spin! *claps her hands, beaming*

Lauren: *makes a face; mutters* No Sit & Spin. Too dangerous with Mick around.

Micky: *mutters also* I heard that, babe.

(Emma and Mike snort.)

Bob: Here's a question. Who's idea was it to bring Captain Crocodile and Howard Needleman back?

Emma: Mine. I thought this was a great time for another go-around with more villians seen previously, and since the last time the guys tangled with Captain Crocodile was on a TV spoof....why not get the good Captain involved in another one?

Bert: What happened to Howard and the devils, anyway? Are they all in jail?

Mike: No. Howard's at a local mental hospital for observation. He was so lost, they really couldn't keep him.

Bob: What about the devils?

Emma: (Groans) They talked their way into community service again! Nielson's livid!

Mike: I'M livid.

Peter: It's probably just as well. I'm sure they'd break loose or buy their way out again if they actually did end up in jail.

Emma: We had enough of THAT a while back.

Bert: What happened to Theodore Jenkins? Is he really...

Mike: Gone? He would seem to be. No one's seen or heard from him again since that day. (Looks at Micky) You took a look at the remains of the camera when we waitin' for the cops. Find anything?

Micky: Other than broken parts, nope.

Peter: Valerie says they're waiting for him to be declared legally dead, but when he is, they'll probably divide up the stations he bought and sell them to other companies, or let them go independant like KLAC.

Emma: We assume he's either trapped in the camera permanently now or died with it.

Micky: Whatever it is that happened to those... dimensions is exactly what happened to him. *pauses* I have to wonder if he might somehow pop up briefly in the background of a TV show!

Davy: Uh, Mick, I think all this TV stuff 'as gotten your brain out of whack. *chuckles*

Mike: I'll look for him the next time I'm watchin' a southern drama or a cop show.

Micky: Hey, you know what? I never said what I want for Christmas!

Peter: Yeah, Mick! What do YOU want?

Micky: *whines* I WANT A NEW CHEMISTRY SET!!!

Lauren: *waggles a finger in one ear* That hurt...

Mike: Coudla figured THAT one out.

Peter: Hmmm (Leans back thoughtfully)

Micky: I'm serious! It's been a couple MONTHS!

Mike: I'm kinda glad we're all stayin' here for Christmas this year. No runnin' around this time. We're all just gonna spend a good old-fashioned holiday with our families.

Bob: Any gigs?

Mike: Might play for a few local charity functions, but nothin' major until a short tour of Canada and the US booked for the spring.

Micky: I'm looking forward to that Canada tour...

Emma: I'm just looking forward to spending Christmas with my children. Lauren and Daphne and I are going to take the kids to see their first "Nutcracker Ballet" next week, and then we're all going Christmas shopping for their daddies.

Katie: We're gonna see "Nutcracker!" (She grins)

Jordan: Yay!

Little Mick: Do I have to go? *sticks his tongue out*

Lauren: You've been talking to daddy again, haven't you, little man?

Katie: It'll be fun! They have swords n' stuff!

Little Mick: But it's ballet! *sticks his tongue out*

*Micky looks around innocently, whistling.*

Lauren: *sighs* Mick...

Emma: Little Mick, didn't I read you guys the story of the Nutcracker when you visited us a few days ago? It's a very exciting story!

Katie: And then, we buy stuff for papas!

Little Mick: I like buying stuff. I like action, not dancing.

Lauren: Kiddo, you're going. I think you'll be surprised.

Little Mick: Okay.

Mike: We're gonna help Mick put up the lights on his house while they're at the show. (Mutters) God help us.

Micky: Hey...?

Emma: Don't hurt yourselves, and don't staple anything that shouldn't be stapled to the house. (Looks at Mike)

Mike: Ok, so I wasn't careful with my tie that one year.

Emma: We had a tie attached to our Christmas lights the entire holiday season!

Peter: Made for interesting conversation with the neighbors.

Lauren: And Mick was using the staple gun while sleeping!

Micky: Babe, I was doing FINE until you woke me up!

Mike: I agree with your wife. You coulda really hurt someone doin' that.

*Micky rolls his eyes, sitting back, folding his arms.*

Emma: Just promise me you'll be careful...and you'll be doing it in daylight.

Peter: Don't worry, Em, Dave and I will keep an eye on them.

Emma: I'm not reassured.

Davy: You forget we can be VERY persuasive! *grins*

Bob: Let's get on another subject. Peter, you mentioned something about Jenkins not having a soul.

Peter: (Nods) When we saw him at the meeting with Junior Pinter, I noticed there was something different about his aura. It was cold, dark, and lifeless, nothing like the one he had when we first encountered him.

Mike: Zero musta taken his soul after he got kicked off the air the first time.

Micky: More than likely. *makes a face*

Peter: I wonder if he took anyone else's soul whom we encountered the first time. Madame seemed normal, but she might have run to China before Zero could get at her.

Mike: He sure was actin' like a nut. I mean, he weren't sane the last time. Us appearin' once on his show wasn't gonna mean we were takin' it over! I HATED that gig, even BEFORE we were pied!

Peter: I get the feeling neither he nor Howard were the most stable people, even before they encountered Zero and us.

Emma: Which would explain why Jenkins was driven to Sheila and Zero, and later Alex.

Mike: Shame Howard lost it. That camera was a piece of work.

Peter: He was so devoted to Jenkins, the last thing he expected was to be betrayed by him...and it snapped his mind.

Mike: And made him one HELL of a shot with a gun. I hope they keep all rifles locked very, VERY far away from him.

Peter: Howard will be able to get the help he needs at the hospital.

Mike: And Sheila and Alex will have lots of fun donating time and money to the repairing of the Caprice Nightclub and Ballroom. The deal is, they do it straight with no fuss, or say hello to the hoosegow.

Micky: *frowns* But then considering they COULD just disappear from said hoosegow if they were sent there. I have to wonder how good of a job they'll do.

Mike: Well, the project coupled with the Christmas season, which neither of them are big fans of, should keep them out of our hair for a good, long while.

Bob: Speaking of projects, what's the upcoming stories, ladies?

Emma: In addition to next month's "Nutcracker," we're finally going to do that mystery spoof in January. We originally planned "The Great Big Slumber" for June, but it was twice bumped from the schedule; look for it as the first story of 2008.

Mike: And then, there's February.

Emma: (Grins at Lauren) February, March and April are all Lauren's wonderful ideas. Lauren: What can I say? *grins*

Micky: *sighs* I can already tell I won't be having a very fun few months.

Peter: And I (he looks at his pie plate) might be doing a few things on my own after the holidays.

Mike: Gonna take Val and Jordan on vacation.

Peter: That's part of it. (Sighs, then adds) I mean, other things, without you guys.

Mike: I thought that's what you WERE doing.

Peter: You're one to talk!

*Micky slaps a hand to his forehead & slides it slowly down over his face, groaning.*

*Davy just shakes his head.*

Mike: Pete, I don't know WHO switched the songs, so could you lay off, ok?

Peter: It's not just that song, though that is part of it. You have no community spirit, Michael! Everything you do has to be you, you, you!

Mike: And you're lettin' those assholes in Laurel Canyon bleed you dry.


Mike: Em, stay out of this.

Micky: Guys, we've done this already before! We DON'T need to rehash this AGAIN!

Emma: Enough. I want you two to promise a truce for the holidays. I understand you're both angry and frustrated that the movie and the soundtrack didn't work out, but this is neither the time nor the place to discuss it!

Mike: Fine. (Sighs and turns to Peter, his hand extended) Truce, Pete?

Peter: (Half-smile that he obviously only sort-of means; puts out his hand) Truce, Michael.

Emma: That's a little better. There isn't anything anyone can do about the movie now. It's out, the reviews are harsh, and we have to live with that.

Mike: You ain't livin' with it. WE are.

Bert: It was that bad, Mick and Davy?

Micky: *sighs* It wasn't pretty, that's for sure.

Bob: We haven't seen it. We've been too busy.

Mike: (Mutters) Yeah, busy smoozin' with stars and insultin' the film.

(Emma elbows her husband.)

Peter: Maybe we should run the ads more.

Mike: (Mutters) Maybe we should have better ads.

Micky: *mutters* Maybe we should all shut up about the darn movie & talk about something else.

*Lauren nods.*

Mike: It's not like we can ignore it, Mick.

Micky: Then tell me what you can do about it now? We can't force people to like it!

Emma: You promoted it on KLAC twice. You've discussed it on radio. You have another album coming out in the spring. You've done all you can do. The movie is a turkey, pardon the phrasing, and that's that.

Mike: I know, I know!

Peter: Micky, this is just so HARD. We put so much time and effort into that film, into trying to find a new audience....

Emma: So put some time and effort into your OLD audience.

Peter: But they won't...

Emma: Make you look good in the music community, I know, I know.

Mike: Em, we wanted to prove to everyone that we're serious!

Peter: And hip and with it!

Emma: What's wrong with just doing what you do?

Mike: We can't keep doing it forever!

*Micky puts his head in his hands.*

Davy: Why not? We've enjoyed what we do... right?

Mike: Guys, we ain't kids anymore!

Peter: The music community doesn't take us seriously! They think we're just some kind of TV bubblegum band, like four young adult Partridges!

Micky: *puts his hands out* What is so WRONG with that, that youi both wanna change it? Is it really THAT horrible?

Mike: Micky, I"m not a kid anymore, ok? I just want some recognition from someone who's older than 10.

Peter: Micky, music means a lot to Mike and me. This is our life!

Emma: Too much so. You both need to get away from it.

Micky: No kidding. You say the music means alot to you... do you think that it doesn't to me & Dave just because we're not going ballistic about not getting this... demographic that you two are looking for? What is that demographic, anyway? What's the exact explanation of it?

Lauren: Mick... *puts a hand on his arm to make him stop* don't provoke...

Mike: Teens. College students. Young adults.

Peter: People who are in the know.

Mike: Industry people.

Micky: And you just happen to know exactly what they like for music so that's what we're gonna play, right?

Lauren: *groans* Miiick...

Mike: We're tryin' to figure that out.

Peter: I know what everyone listens to in town and in the Valley.

Emma: Guys, just take the holidays off from it, ok?

Peter: But...

Mike: Em, since when do you tell us when to record?

Emma: You're all exausted and at each other's throats, and I, for one, am tired of hearing it. The kids don't need to hear it, either.

Lauren: I agree with Em. I'm sick of hearing it. I'm sick of you two *points at Mike & Peter* always arguing & Mick trying to keep you two from duking it out. So enough for now, already.

Emma: This the holidays. We're supposed to be friends.

Peter: (Mutters) "Supposed" to be.

Mike: But the movie...

Emma: Is out and a flop and that's that. It's time to move on.

Bob: And it's getting late, so...why don't we move on as well?

Emma: Right. (Grins) I'm just glad this story went MUCH better than last November's story! Last year, we were so rushed, that story and the Christmas story got sort of lost in the shuffle.

Mike: I ain't so sure about that, darlin'.

Emma: (Smiles; to the camera) Before we go, we'd like to thank a whole host of folks for the use of their characters, including Warner Bros Pictures, Hanna Barbara, American Greetings, 20th Century Fox, Ruby-Spears, and yes, Columbia Pictures. (Chuckles) We actually a ton of ideas we didn't even get to use! We were going to do longer parodies of other Monkees fanfics, and Lauren wanted to do a dating show!

Micky: A dating show? C'mon, babe! Those are horrible!

Lauren: It was a different idea from everything else. *shrugs*

Mike: Em, if you ever make me wear tights again...

Emma: I thought it was cute!

Peter: I liked the cop show, but what was with the sitcoms?

Micky: I liked most all of it, even the western... though I would've loved to have shown Jeb my fist up close & personal. *makes a face*

Mike: The next time I get my hands on Alex, he is so dead. I'm going to hack him up nice and neat and serve him to that little devil chick of his.

Emma: Did anyone else notice the devils don't seem to be getting along too well these days, speaking of our favorite people?

Micky: *nods* Alex seemed downright annoyed towards the end of the whole thing.

Lauren: I noticed that, too.

Mike: Yeah. They must be gettin' tire of each other.

Peter: Well, they don't have much in common besides their libidos. Alex wants time to mess with his machines, but Sheila just wants all the quick answers to everything, and she wants them now.

Mike: Sheila must have interrupted Alex's machine time.

Davy: Or just intahrupted some things in genahral.

Peter: Sheila can be a real baby when she doesn't get her way. We all saw how she acted in the southern show.

Mike: And Alex is gettin' tired of playin' daddy.

Emma: I can't say I blame him. Sheila's worse than any of the kids! No wonder she can't put up with them. She throws a hissy fit every single time she can't have something she wants.

Mike: Life don't work like that.

Micky: *makes a face* Not to her.

Mike: And Alex ain't no saint. When Sheila wants to be annoyin', she does it for a reason. Alex is annoyin' just for the heck of it.

Peter: And he gets into our stuff!

Mike: And shows up when we DON'T want him around.

Micky: Wouldn't mind not EVER seeing him again.

Mike: I wonder what all that fuss was about the crystals a while back?

Peter: I'm sure Alex will let us know when he wants to bother us.

Lauren: *sighs* I bet he will.

Mike: We'll just have to be more careful, since he could show up at any time.

Peter: (Smiles at Micky) Maybe we could work on the security system at the cave together.

Micky: Definitely.

Mike: That will definately have to be updated. It needs to detect the first sign of black magic.

Micky: I'll expand out the range to which it'll first detect it.

Emma: We can't let him get more crystals for whatever he has in mind.

Peter: He already has some.

Mike: He may try to get more.

Peter: I think he said he's still trying to get Ursula out of the car and out of the crystal.

Mike: Well, we ain't gonna let him do THAT. It's all over if he's able to do that.

Micky: Which would explain why he was looking for the crystal.

Mike: Yeah, well, we ain't gonna let them end the game in their favor. Urse is our friend and our teacher. They are NOT going to get her.

Peter: (Sighs; to Micky) Just don't flip out on him every time he shows up, ok, Mick?

Mike: We'll keep workin' on that.

Micky: I'm not promising anything, but I will try.

Mike: That's all we need to hear. (Grins) Besides, those rages of yours can sure come in handy. You can take out whole armies when you're like that!

Micky: *half grin* Well, just let me know if you find an army that needs taking out.

Mike: Don't worry, Mick. With our luck, it'll find us before we find IT.

Micky: *sarcastic* I'm looking forward to it.

Katie: (She shows her plate) Done now, Mama? Can I have more?

Emma: No, Katie, you have to save some for later. (Winces as she hears a cry) Oh, dear, there's Robbie. Mike, would you and Katie be dears and finish things up here while I handle her brother?

Mike: (Shrugs) Sure.

Katie: Aw, want more pie!

Mike: (Grins; whispers to Katie) We'll get some later when Mama ain't lookin', Cowgirl.

Katie: (Grins) Okay, Papa!

Mike: (As Emma heads for the upstairs room) Is everyone finished their pie?

Jordan: All done! Yummy!

Little Mick: All gone!

Shelly: I'm done!

Leah: Me done!

Lizzie: And me!

Mike: I figured you kids were. I'm full. How about the rest of you?

Peter: I couldn't eat another bite. Em's pie is pretty good, for someone who says she's not very good at pie!

Mike: (Collects the plates) Micky, you didn't eat the plate too?

Micky: Nah, too bland. *grins*

Mike: We'd better start clearin' out. (Pats Katie as he passes her) This cowgirl is going to need a nap soon.

Katie: Aww, I don't need a nap!

Peter: This little boy needs one, too.

Jordan: (Yawns) I'm not tired!

Peter: That's not what I hear! (He picks up his son)

Mike: (As he starts the dishes) Maybe we'd better start shuttin' this one down. I'll start. (Turns to the camera) Thanks for readin' this month, folks.

Peter: And we hope all of our American and Canadian readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Micky: We'll see ya in about a week or so for the next story!

Davy: We'll be back soon everyone!

Lauren: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. *waves*