(We open with a group of people milling around a richly decorated ballroom. There's a huge glass case in the middle of the room, surrounded by deputies. Alex and his remaining men join them.)
Deputy 1: Got them, sir?
Alex: We got some of them, which means the others have to be around here somewhere as well.
Deputy 2: We've kept an eye out for them, sir, just like you said. We ain't seen nuthin' but fancy rich folk.
Alex: They'll turn up. Just keep watching.
Deputy 1: (Looks at his watch) Miss Saunders should be arrivin' soon, right, and the guys with the rocks?
Alex: *nods* Yes.
Deputy 3: (Looks over his walkie-talkie at Alex) Sir, they're here!
Deputy 1: Miss Saunders?
Deputy 3: Yeah! She wants you to meet her and the men at the front of the ballroom, jus' in case somethin' goes bad.
(More deputies follow him, parting the crowd...revealing a huge cart of bags and metal security boxes, and a tall figure swathed in purple satin with a standing tulle collar and cuffs, her finger dripping with diamonds, her satin wrap trimmed with real mink.)
Alex: *folds his arms* You do know how to make an entrance.
Satin Figure: (Passes Alex and smirks, her purple-clad fingers pinching one of his cheeks) Takes one to know one, dear.
*Alex narrows his eyes.*
Satin Figure: (Watches as the men carefully place diamond rings, earrings, necklaces, and unset stones in the box) Now, be careful boys. Those gems cost millions of dollars!
Deputy 3: Yes Miss Saunders, ma'am.
(The group finally moves...reveal a dazziling display of gemstones. Everyone pushes in for a closer look, not paying attention to what's going on behind them or above them. We see some slight rustling and a few shadows in the beams above the ballroom...)
Satin Figure: Feast your eyes on the Saunders Diamonds, the greatest collection of precious jewels in the Southern United States. I... (suddenly, the lights go out) ...oh darn, who forgot to check the fuses?
Alex: Oh crap.
Satin Figure: Alex, could you be a dear and take some of your boys to check them?
Alex: *sighs, but puts on a grin* Of course.
(We see Alex and a bunch of men dimly stalk off...then hear "Oof!" and "Hey!" before all is silent.)
Satin Figure: (Over the hubub of the crowd) Alex? (Voice rises) Sherrif London, are you all right?
*There's no response.*
Satin Figure: (Voice rises higher; the crowd's getting restless) Sherrif, this is NOT funny! SHERRIF!
(That's when we hear a swish as something flies through the air. A blade breaks open the glass case holding the jewels. There's another swish, and a hand swipes the jewels into a bag! A third swish...and suddenly, everyone is screaming!)
(The lights go back on. There's a huge fishing net over the crowd. Peter, Valerie and the Angellettes tie the net down. Davy and Daphne tie Alex and the two deputies together. Mike and Emma stand on the rafters. Mike holds his sword. Emma holds a brown cloth bag.)
Mike: Hi, folks! Thought we'd drop in!
Emma: (Grins) And we're going to leave now. We have things we need to do with these jewels.
Davy: *waves* We'll see you latah!
Mike: Bye, ya'all. Hope you don't miss us or nuthin'. (Mike and Emma fade out in a blue light. The figure in satin screams)
Satin Figure: DAMN IT! IT'S THEM! STOP THEM!
(The deputies try to bumble their way out...but they all topple into one another. Their ankles are handcuffed together!)
(Cut to the hallway, where Mike and Emma blue-light in. The others rush out to join them.)
Mike: We ought to have at least twenty minutes before they figure out how to get outta that. Plenty of time to hightail it outta here. Got the cash?
Peter: (Holds up the bank bags) Yeah.
Emma: Where are the others? They were supposed to meet us here!
Mike: Great. We're gonna have to look for them.
Davy: They probably got lost.
Peter: Maybe we could just blue-light ourselves to where they are?
Mike: Hmm. Might work at that.
Emma: It would certainly be faster.
Davy: Lets try.
Mike: I'll do it. (Mike concentrates. The entire group disappears in a blue light. They reappear in a dark room. We hear muffled mutters and groans)
Mike: Someone turn on the light!
Davy: I got it... *suddenly the lights come on; stands at a light switch*
(We see Micky and the four Martians bound, gagged, and suspended from the celing, swinging to and fro helplessly in the breeze of the open windows.)
Emma: Oh good grief. Someone cut them down!
Davy: *chuckles* Do we 'ave to? *Daphne swats him*
Mike: We might need them. (Reaches up and pulls off Micky's gag) Hey Mick, how's it hanging?
Micky: *growls* Not funny, Mike! I feel like a freakin' pinatta up here!
Mike: I don't think you're gonna give me candy, though.
Emma: Oh, just have a heart and get them down!
Peter: I'll do it. (He closes his eyes. There's a blue light around all four guys; when it subsides, they're on the ground)
Micky: About time. Did you find the girls yet?
Mike: No. Weren't you doin' that?
Micky: we found them, then got caught. They're still in one of the rooms.
Mike: Great. Do you remember where they are?
Micky: I think it's a couple doors down the hall.
Mike: Great. Lead us to them, before Alex and his goons figure out what's goin' on.
Micky: Everyone fall in, then! *waves them on & heads out the door; they follow the hall a bit then go into another room where they find the girls still tied up*
Lauren: About time!
Emma: (Goes to Lauren, who is bound but not gagged; Daphne and the Martians help the other Abbies) What happened?
Lauren: We found the Abbies, thengot jumped. Alex left me in here while they took the guys to another room. I'm sure Alex had something in mind. *sticks her tongue out*
Emma: And we won't mention what I'm sure that is.
Kimberly: (Rubs her wrists) If he EVER, and I mean EVER, touches me like that again...
Danny: He'll won't using certain parts for the next two centuries or so.
Mike: And we'll be seeing him again too soon if we don't get outta here.
Emma: We'll leave the way we came, via the roof and the gutters.
Micky: Lets vamoose, then/
(Cut to the roof, as the group rushes across, then over to the gutters.)
Chris: It's an awful long way down...
Mike: Would you rather face a pissed Sherrif and his snootface?
Marcus: (Smirks) You first, Chris.
(Chris makes a face and starts climbing down the gutter. The others follow. Cut quickly back to the ballroom, where more deputies until Alex and cut through the net, helping the lady in satin and the guests out.)
Deputy 5: Sir, are you all right? What happened here?
Alex: Don't ask. *pauses* We need to find them & fast!
Deputy 5: Some of my men reported seein' people on the roof!
Alex: Then what the hell are you standing around here for? Go AFTER them!
Deputy 5: Right away, sir! (As he runs off, the lady in Satin joins Alex)
Satin Figure: Have you found them yet, AND my jewels?
Alex: *sighs, annoyed* We're working on it.
Satin Figure: Why don't I come with you to make sure you're still "working on it?"
Alex: I suppose I have no voice in that decision?
Satin Figure: Not really.
(She takes him out by the ear as we cut to the cars.)
Mike: (He and the Monkees jump into the blue car; Lauren, Daphne, and the Abbies make for a purple car; Emma, Valerie, and the Angellettes grab a green car; and the Martians take their Buick) Ok, everyone, make for the hills! We'll reconvene at the Headquarters!
(The other two run out and jump into Alex's cop car as "Midnight Train" begins, followed by five or six cop cars.)
(The Monkees and the other groups' cars speed ahead and break off into different directions. Alex and his squad do the same.)
(One car speeds past a group of dense trees...that just happens to hide a certain oversized Buick.)
(Something comes out of the dark woods, waving and making strange noises. The Buick takes off like a shot! As the camera closes in to the figure, we find it's a grimy, dirty Theodore Jenkins. He follows the car out to the road, then just waves it away and takes off in the other direction.)
(Something in a hunter's outfit, carrying a gun, steps in front of Alex's cop car!)
*Alex attempts to wave him out of the way.*
(The hunter just sticks his gun in Alex's window. We can see that it's Howard...and he's NOT happy!)
*Alex slaps the gun away & starts running his mouth.*
(Howard puts his finger on the trigger and shoves it right in Alex's nose!)
(The woman in satin pushes the gun barrel away and points Howard down the road, in the direction of the REAL culprit behind his being transformed into an animal!)
(The Monkees turn a very sharp corner. Their pursuers aren't as lucky. They crash through the trees and into a mucky pond!)
*We see several of the cars do a fancy bit of weaving between each other on a three-lane stretch of highway.*
(The girls and their pursuers pass through a barn. Both cars come out covered in hay stacks, but the cop car ends up crashing into a pig pen, much to the surprise of the pigs! Jenkins follows the girls, now covered in maneuer, too.)
(The Martians pick up a man covered in dirt and maneure - it's Jenkins. They drive with him for a minute before Danny takes a deep sniff, and all four boys make a face. We next see them dropping Jenkins off on the side of the road!)
(Howard stops the girls next and asks them if they've seen Jenkins.)
*The girls all shake their heads, but each points in a different direction.*
(Howard just growls and stomps off...and nobody sees Jenkins stumble past in the opposite direction!)
(Cut to another lane of highway. The Monkees' car comes barreling down the highway first, followed by the girls, then Alex, then the Martians and the last squad car.)
Mike: (As the music winds down) We've gotta think of a way to get these guys off our tail!
Peter: There's the Headquarters!
Mike: I think I know of a way to get them off the tracks! Micky, (points to a dirt road) take that road over the hill! The others can follow!
(Micky does so...and we go flying over the hills and down the dirt road as the other groups and Alex and the squad car follows and we fade out on one last, spectacular jump!)