*Suddenly, there's a flash & Micky, Lauren, Peter, Valerie, Jen, Chris, Marcus, & the Angellettes show up.*
Lillian: (They all wear simple jumpsuits or tunics and tight pants like Mike; Lillian aims a gun at the room in general) Reach for the sky, you rodents!
Audrey: (She and Winnie clap) Nice, Cleopatra Jones.
Winnie: Would be even nicer if you actually knew what you were doin'.
Emma: Guys! Where did you come from?
Mike: Or at this point, what SHOW did you come from?
Micky: *wears a beige wrap top & pants; makes a face, looking at the handle he holds* What the... where's the rest of my sword?
Lauren: *wears a similar outfit but in purple; holds a handle* Press the button, Mick. *presses the button on hers--a light comes out of the handle, now it resembles a sword*
Micky: *grins widely* Groovy! *presses the button on his*
Mike: How come you guys get the cool weapons?
Micky: *shrugs* Dunno, we just appeared with them.
Lauren: And the costumes.
Emma: Um, could you guys use those weapons and get a little heavy baggage off me?
Sheila: HEAVY BAGGAGE? (She growls and puts her finger on the trigger) I'm going to do what I've wanted to do for five hundred years, Scholar...
Mike: Damn it, Sheila, NO! (But as he aims, someone jumps on him and wrestles him for the gun)
Marcus: Hey! (He goes to help Mike...but pulls back when he recognizes his assailent) John?
John: (It is, indeed, John of the Four Martians in a black and red jumpsuit; he pulls away, surprised) Marcus? (Eyes widen) Mike? Man, what are you guys doin' here?
Mike: We could ask you the same thing!
John: (Shrugs) I don't remember. There was this flash, and then...I don't remember anything until just now.
Micky: Since Mike's a little busy... *jumps in front of Sheila, grins, & twirls his sword* Well, hello, there, Sheila.
Sheila: (Looks from Emma; sneers) Do you think you can stop my gun with that little bit of light? Are you a knight now, Savage?
Micky: I may not be a Knight, but I can act like one sometimes. Besides, don't you know it isn't safe to play with guns?
Sheila: Don't you know it isn't safe to play with devils?
Micky: *makes a face* I learned that a LONG time ago, Sheila.
Sheila: You don't frighten me, Savage. You don't know how to use that thing. (She rubs Emma's temples until she pants and goes limp, then calls to her men) Keep an eye on this girl and the others. (Glares at Micky) I want to have a little word with the Savage.
Mike: Hey! (He lunges for Sheila, but John grabs his arm)
John: Don't be foolish, Mike. She could still get her boys to hurt your wife and everyone else.
Winnie: Hey, we know that chick!
Lauren: I can't believe I'm about to say this, but let Mick handle her.
Audrey: Ain't you that bitchy chick who tried to take over the pirate show a few years back?
Micky: I'm right here, Sheila. Go ahead, have your word.
Sheila: (To Audrey) Yes, girl, I'm that (rolls her eyes) bitchy chick. Although this particular idea wasn't mine. (Nods at Alex on the floor) He's the one in charge of the cameras.
Lauren: *smirks* That's a good place for him.
Mike: (Grins) At least SOMEONE'S where he belongs.
Sheila: (To her men) Take the girl to the throne and hold her there. The rest of you, hold onto the others. (Turns to Mike) Except that one. He'll have to be subdued, or at least bound.
Mike: (Growls) If you even try it...
Sheila: (Turns to Micky with a smirk) What would you like me to do to your friend, Savage? Your precious Knight leader? I'm sure I could think of all sorts of fun things.
Micky: I want you to forget about him & fight ME!
Mike: Sheila, leave BOTH of us alone, and Em, too!
Sheila: You both try my patience. (She concentrates. There's a black light around Mike. When it subsides, he's vanished....and reappeared on the other side of the room, suspended over the throne, where the groggy Emma is being held. He appears to be in some kind of plastic case, and he does not move.)
Micky: *growls* You got wax in your ears or something, Sheila? I told you to forget him & fight ME!
Sheila: He would have interfered with our duel.
John: (Frowns) Damn it! Was that necessary?
Micky: Come on, Sheila, quit stalling & FIGHT!
Sheila: It'll keep him out of the way. He's paralyzed. He can see what's going on, but he can't move and can't get out of that box. (She reveals a black handle. She presses a button, and a red beam shoots out. Micky has blue; Lauren's is purple)
Peter: (Frowns; murmurs to Valerie) I'm not so sure I like Mick's aura....
Valerie: I think I recognize this, too.
Lauren: *mutters* Me, three. Sheila better quit messing with him.
Micky: *sighs loudly; annoyed* Are you gonna fight or flaunt yourself for the rest of the day?!
Sheila: Maybe I'll do both. (She begins by aiming her sword at Micky's shoulder)
Micky: *dodges; frowns* You're REALLY getting on my nerves, Sheila!
Sheila: Good. That's the idea. (She ducks around back, going for his...parts)
Micky: *jumps away, nearly losing his balance; growls* Dammit...!
Lauren: Oh, boy... everyone duck, I think he's about ready to blow...!
Chris: Blow what?
Sheila: (Kicks at his legs) You'll look so much better on the floor with your brother!
Micky: *jumps away from the kick* HE'S NOT MY BROTHER! *launches himself at Sheila & the two go tumbling on the floor*
Lilllian: (Eyes widen) Oh my god!
*Both lose their swords & are consumed by cartoon dust & swinging fists. When the dust clears, Sheila is sprawled on the floor, unconscious, & Micky is seated on the floor, puffing a bit.*
(Chris goes to help Sheila, but she pushes him away. Peter runs to Micky.)
Peter: Mick, are you ok?
Micky: *nods* Yeah, I'm good. She just got me too riled up. *sighs*
(Mike drops from the floor, stumbling. The men release Emma; she runs to him.)
Mike: Em! Darlin', are you all right?
Emma: Yeah, I'm ok. What about you?
Mike: Other than bein' ready to smack Sheila right out of this program, I'm fine.
Kimberly: (Peers around the throne...and finds a quaking Marvin) Hey, are you ok, little guy?
Marvin: Um, *shakes his head* not really, no. She was my Queen, but... I can't follow her anymore.
Kimberly: (Smiles and takes his hand) So get yourself a new queen!
Kimberly: (Grins) In fact...why not have a king? (Grins) Have you ever thought of being king?
Marvin: Me? King? No, I hadn't... but I likr it!
Maxine: (She and John join them) Talk to your buddies. See how they feel. Maybe you could all rule together!
Marvin: Yes! What a fantastic idea! Oh, thank you, all!
Kimberly: No problem, little guy! (Shakes his gloved hand)
Danny: (He's kneeling by Alex; Marcus joins them) These guys are out cold, but we don't know for how much longer...or where we'll all end up next.
Mike: Good point. Maybe we'd better do something about them befoe we fade out to the credits.
Emma: (Grins) Micky, why don't you do the honors?
Lauren: Kid in a candy store, anyone? *grins*
Micky: Cute, babe. *pauses, then rubs his hands together* Lets see, what to do, what to do...
Micky: I got it...
*Micky concentrates... both Alex & Sheila appear, dangling from the ceiling, tied together... face to face.*
Micky: *jerks a thumb at them* Won't they be surpised when they come to? *laughs*
(Lots of snorts, giggles, and outright guffaws around the room. )
Lauren: This is PERFECT, Mick.
Micky: *buffs his knuckles on his chest* Piece of cake. *pauses* I could really go for some cake right now...
*Suddenly, the entire area dims around everyone.*
Micky: Oh, no, here come the credits!
Mike: Just hold on to the nearest person! I don't know where we'll end up next!
(Everyone grabs someone near-by...some more enthusiastically than others...as we fade out on the scene.)
*We drop into the next program. We see two of the guys standing in what looks like an abandoned warehouse. One wears a long green trenchcoat & fedora. The other wears all black, jacket, pants, driving gloves, & driver's hat.*
*We get a close-up of the guys... both wear masks over their eyes, but the taller one definitely has curly hair peeking out under his fedora.*
Davy: (Looks at himself in black) Um, Mick, where are we now? This all seems really familiar...
Micky: Judging from our clothes... I'd say we landed in the "Green Hornet" this time. *pauses, then grins* I can't wait to drive the car!
Davy: Oh, good, I get to practice me karate moves.
*Micky starts chuckling.*
Davy: What's so funny, Mick?
Micky: It's just funny to hear a British accent from Kaito.
Davy: Oh, 'e was Japanese, weren't 'e?
Micky: Yeah, he was.
Davy: I'm afraid I don't do very good Japanese. (Looks around) What are we doin' 'ere, anyway, Green 'Ornet?
Micky: *shrugs* You got me, Kaito. I am going to guess we caught a lull & that we'll probably be surrounded by bad guys any moment...
(Bad guys - four of them, all masked, like the boys - jump out at them.)
Micky: I hate it when I'm right in these instances...
Davy: (Puts up his fists at the first one) You stay away from me, man. These fists are lethal weapons!
Thug 1: (Snorts) Please. You couldn't reach my shoulder.
Micky: Hey, whe may be small, but he can do ALOT of damage!
Thug 3: And you... I've seen more meat of spare ribs than you have!
Micky: Hey, now...!
Thug 2: (He has a Texas accent, but he's bigger than Mike with a deeper voice) Ok, boys, let's take them out. Show them NO one messes with the Martian Gang!
Micky: *turns to Davy* "Martian Gang?"
Thug 4: Get them, fellas!
(Thug 3 goes after Micky, aiming a kick for his midsection.)
*Micky grabs the thug's foot, waves his index finger in an "uh uh uh" manner, then spins the leg away, causing the thug to go tumbling.*
*Thug 1 kicks out at Davy.*
(Davy ducks under the man's leg and grabs it, flipping him over his shoulder.)
(The third thug grabs Davy's arms. He pulls away and lands a karate chop on the man's back, then knocks his legs out from under him.)
Davy: Mick, watch out! The Big Texan's...
(But the "Big Texan" gets a kick in Davy's side that sends him to the floor, doubled over. He then turns to Micky.)
Thug 2: You're next, masked man.
Micky: *puts up his fists* You're gonna pay for that!
Thug 2: How? Gonna wrestle me? I could use those legs of yours for toothpicks.
(He makes a grab for Mick, reaching for his coat.)
Micky: What're you grabbing at my coat for? *pauses, growls* TOOTHPICKS?!
Thug 2: No, they ain't toothpicks. (Grins and takes hold of his arms) They're splinters.
Micky: I'll show you splinters! *aims a kick at the thug*
*Thug 4 comes up behind Micky, holding a pipe. As Micky tries to kick at the thug holding his arms, the other clocks Micky on the side of his head, dropping him.*
Thug 4: *motions to his pipe* Never leave home without it. *grins*
Thug 2: (Smirks and shakes Micky) Nice try, Green Hornet, but remember, WE have the upper hand. (Turns to the other three) Bring in the girl.
*Thug 3 brings in a very familiar female... Daphne. She's gagged with her hands tied behind her back.*
Micky: *groans; woozy* ...Girl?
Thug 2: Yeah, you remember the drill. You hand over the gem, we hand over your sidekick's girl.
Davy: (As the remaining thugs drag him to his feet) DAPHNE!
*Daphne's eyes widen. She knows that voice!*
Micky: *blinks his eyes, trying to clear his vision* What gem? *lightly touches his head; winces* Ow... didja hafta hit me so hard?
*Thug 4 just shrugs, smirking.*
Thug 2: The one YOU stole from US! WE stole it fair and square, and we want it back, so we can sell it on the black market.
Micky: *still doesn't know what's really going on* Oh, THAT gem. *rolls his eyes & groans again*
Thug 2: Why do you think I grabbed your coat? It's in there somewhere!
Micky: I thought you just wanted to find out if I was ticklish...
Davy: No! Damn it, don't 'urt 'er! Don't 'urt eithah of them! We don't know anythin' 'bout any gem...(frowns)...and I'll bet you don't, eithah. (He reaches up and grabs the mask off one of his assaliants...revealing Danny) I knew it! (He pulls the other off - Chris)
Micky: *gawks; blinks* Chris? Danny? *pulls his own mask off... then fingers the bridge of his nose* Man, for friends, you sure pack a punch. I think I'm gonna be feeling this headache for a while...
*Thugs 3 & 4 pulls off their masks revealing Marcus & John.*
Marcus: *frowns* Oh, man... Mick, I'm sorry! I didn't realize that was you!
John: Sorry, man. We thought you were bad guys!
Micky: *waves it off, getting back to his feet* Don't worry about it... Lauren says I have a hard head, anyway...
John: We didn't mean to test her theory.
Chris: (As he unties Daphne) Sorry there, Daph.
Daphne: No real harm done, atleast.
Chris: (As the background dims) Hey, what's going on?
John: (Frowns) Why's everythin' gettin' dark?
Micky: Here we go again! Time to change the channel!
("Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)" begins as we fade into our next show. It's a fairly simple, modern living room set...with a lot of Mediterrainian blankets, pottery, weavings, and trappings.)
*Davy sits on the couch, reading the newspaper.*
(Peter, dressed in a bright vest and puff-sleeved shirt that's a far cry from Davy's sweater and slacks, leaps onto the couch next to him, beaming.)
Davy: *gives Peter a dull glare* What's gotten into you, mate?
Peter: (Over the music; oddly Mediterranian accent) I just felt like doing that.
Davy: *slight grin* You almost make Mick look half normal acting like that... & dressed the way you are.
Peter: I like it!
Davy: *sighs & goes back to his paper* You would.
(Next, we end up in black and white. Emma, wearing a bell-skirted 50s dress, her hair in curls, stamps her foot and cries to Mike, who holds bongos, wears a white tux, and has his black hair slicked back. They stand on what looks like a nightclub stage.)
Mike: (Bad Spanish accent) No, Em, you can't be in the show!
*The camera turns from Emma & Mike to Lauren & Micy who sits at one of the tables.*
Lauren: *looks bored* They're at it again.
Micky: *also looks bored; now has a slight bruise on the side of his head from the shot in his last scene* Yup.
*We see a quick stock shot of Micky, Mike, & Peter dressed as the Marx Brothers from the "Monkees' Paw" episode.*
(Emma and Mike are still in black and white, and they're still arguing, but Mike now wears a suit (though his hair remains slicked back, and Emma wears a 60s sheath and a blond flip wig. Mike shouts something and storms off. Emma makes a face and wiggles her nose. There's a puff of smoke around Mike...and when it subsides, he's a rabbit.)
Emma: (Over the music, as she picks up the rabbitt) There. Maybe NOW you'll listen? (The rabbitt wiggles it's ears in reply)
*We remain in black & white, but head to the 50s... & a fairly barren living room that consists of a kitchen table, bureau, kitchen sink, & ice box. The apartment door opens to reveal Micky in what looks like a bus driver's uniform. Lauren enters from another room. They argue briefly, Lauren getting the upper hand, but Micky ends it with a "bang zoom!" & motions with his arms.*
(Emma, Daphne, Valerie, and Lauren all sit at the table in bright pants suit and dresses with huge shoulder pads; Emma and Daphne have whiter hair. The girls sip champagne and chat over cheesecake, laughing while Daphne makes snide comments. Lauren just rolls her eyes.)
*A sudden red blur goes across the screen, accompanied by a scream, then a crash. We pan over to see someone dressed in red longjohns flip a cape off from over their head. It's Micky dressed in what looks like a cross between longjohns & a superhero costume. Lauren, dressed in a sweater & cotton pants, helps him up. Mike, wearing a three piece suit & avaiator sunglasses shakes his head, looking annoyed.*
(Cut from Mick to the radio station set from "The Malibu Beach Amateur Hour." Kimberly sits behind the switchboard this time, wearing a green sweater. The camera follows down the hallway to the main studio. Micky, Lauren and Peter stand behind the microphones, dolled up in their "Amateur Hour" costumes. Valerie, in a bright floral dress and matching hat and beads, plays the organ. Emma and Mike, both in their "Amateur Hour" costumes, fight again, while Marcus handles the controls.)