Ok guys, ready to get naked?
Mike: Yeah...WHAT???
Micky: *grins* Why not? ;) >:)
Davy: 'Ow many 'ot women are in the audience? ;)
Micky: Dave! *smacks him in the head* :P
Mike: Hey, guys, how did you do at the tables? I got nuthin' but a headache.
Micky: Uhhh...don't ask. :P
Mike: (Makes a face...and winces at his bandaged head) Ok, Mick, how much money did you lose?
Micky: *shrugs* Just everything that I brought FOR gambling. :P
Davy: Don't staht on 'im, Mike. 'E's still wearin' 'is shirt!
Micky: Yeah!
Mike: Micky, are you sure... (his eyes widen as a group of huge guys in black leather and nice ties walk in) ...holy shit! It's those creeps! :p :o
Micky: *groans* Oh, great! :P
Davy: Oh, man! Wot are we gonna do?
Mike: We've gotta get outta here, before they see us!
Micky: Then we'd better move it!
Mike: Come on! (He indicates the door. They pull up their jackets and hide behind them as they make for the door. One of the guys takes Micky aside as they head out.)
Biker 1: Hey, didn't I see you before somewheres?
Micky: *eyes widen, then narrow; puts on a drunken voice* The bar? *hiccups* ;)
Biker 1: (Smells him) You don't smell drunk!
Biker 2: Hey, leave him alone! Maybe he had some of that new light beer!
Micky: *nods slowly* Yeah. Even THAT does me in fast. :P ;)
Mike: Micky! (Grabs Micky by the arm as the bikers amble into the casino; their burping, throwing things, yelling, punching, and general noisiness can be heard from outside)
Micky: Whew! Man, thanks, Mike!
Mike: No problem. I'd rather have those jerks let their animal instincts out on the casino than on us! :p
Davy: (Points at a sign on a sandwich board in the lobby) 'Ey, guys, look! (Reads sign) "Amateur Contest tonight. First place prize is five hundred dollahs."
Mike: (Strokes his bandaged chin) I wonder...
Davy: Shame Petah ain't 'ere. We could get into that and win us some money to see the rest of Vegas and get 'ome.
Micky: Five hundred bucks!? The three of us can do it! :D
Mike: We'll have to imagine the instruments here. I brought my guitar, but we don't have anything else.
Micky: No problem!
Davy: Why do a plain old rock act? This is Vegas! They'll be expectin' somethin' wit' a little more...flair. ;)
Micky: *grin turns evil* Whatcha got in mind, there, Dave? ;)
Davy: Wot kinda acts do they usually do in Vegas?
Mike: Mostly old guys singing standards in lounges, as far as I can tell. :p
Davy: Besides that. Wot would really wow this crowd?
Mike: A million dollar jackpot. ;)
Micky: Besides that. Well... *grin becomes VERY evil* What gender is the audience? ;) >:)
Mike: Well, mostly old chicks, I guess, and gangsters...
Micky: Chicks, huh...
Davy: Notice that word, Michael. "Chicks." Wot do chicks like to see?
Mike: Soap operas. :p
Micky: Guys. ;) *grin widens*
Davy: Michael, Michael. (Davy puts his arm around Mike...as best he can) 'Ave you evah wanted to take it all off? ;)
(Cut to backstage. We see a man with a parrot that sings opera, three young women in matching outfits performing "You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby," a folk trio with acoustic guitars, and a middle-aged man with a shiny pompadour singing "All the Way.")
*Micky and Davy come out of a dressing room, both wearing sequined jumpsuits. Micky's is red and Davy's is blue.*
Micky: *runs his fingers over a sleeve* Not bad. ;)
Davy: The Imagination Powahs do wondahs. (Calls to the dressing rooms) Hey, Mike, come on!
Mike: No way!
Micky: *sighs* Mike! Get out here! It isn't like you're the ONLY one dressed like this!
Mike: (Muttering) I can't BELIEVE I let you guys talk me into this! (He stomps out in his white sequined jumpsuit, his arms crossed and his face clearly annoyed).
Davy: Mike, we're gonna be a sensation!
Micky: Yeah, man! They'll LOVE us! :D
Mike: We're gonna be a laughin'stock. I ain't got the body to be takin' my clothes off in front of a crowd.
Micky: *deadpan* And I DO? :P
Davy: (Grabs Mike's arm) They're gonna love us, Mike! We ain't bad lookin', we're talented, and we're undah 60, which is more than can be said for 'alf the acts 'ere. :p ;)
Mike: Ok, ok. When are we on?
Micky: Not soon enough. ;)
Davy: Aftah Pat Faranga and Percy the Operatic Parrot.
Mike: What the heck did you guys book us into? Operatic PARROTS? :p /:)
Micky: *shrugs* Beggers can't be choosers. :P
(Cut briefly to the stage, where a man in a white suit conducts a parrot in a tuxedo singing Gilbert and Sullivan.)
Mike: (Rolls his eyes and peeks through the curtains) Man, and people say WE'RE weird.
Micky: That parrot's not bad!
(Suddenly, there's noises in the theater that aren't "The Pirate King's Song." The bikers make their way into the theater, leaving a trail of beer-covered waiters and destroyed furniture in their wake. Mike draws back in horror.)
Mike: Oh, shit! Guys, we just got new audience members...and I DON'T think they're gonna appreciate our act! :p :o
Micky: *groans* Oh, great! Who invited THEM? :P
Davy: Maybe they won't recognize us naked.
Mike: I hope so. We WERE wearin' a lot of leather the first time we encountered them.
Micky: Thankfully.
(The bikers sit down in the middle of the front row, still noisy.)
Biker 1: (Indicates a seat) Hey, baby, this seat taken?
Old Lady: Why not at all, sonny.
Biker 1: Thanks! (Pulls the seat out of the floor, plops it next to his buddies, and sits down)
Mike: (Turns back to the guys) That ain't good. :p
Micky: Let's hope our nakedness stuns them! :P ;)
Stagehand: (Goes up to the guys with a clipboard) Greatest American Heroes, get onstage! You're on!
Mike: (Raises his eyebrows at Micky and Davy) "Greatest American Heroes?"
Micky: *shrugs, grinning* Look at what colors we're wearing. Blame it on the colors of the jewels. :P ;)
Mike: Sounds like we're Superman or somethin'.
Micky: Or something... ;)
Announcer: And now a treat for all of the ladies, the Starlight Theater is proud to present...the Greatest American Heroes! ;) :D
(Davy and Micky come on, flirting and strutting, as "Cuddly Toy" begins. Davy has to go back and drag Mike on stage. Davy tries to unbutton Mike's jumpsuit, but he slaps his hand. Davy shrugs and starts to do his own, slowly, revealing his still-bare chest more and more...but strategetically covering his scar. Mike blushes and starts to take off his gloves.)
(The bikers hoot, throw beer cans and tomatoes, and make rude gestures. The little old ladies are getting animated hearts in their eyes. ;) :X)
*Micky ignores both of the others and goes about his own maneuvers. He's slides a scarf from around his neck, which was hidden under the suit, and tosses it RIGHT AT the bikers. He smiles at them.* ;)
(The bikers all reach for it...but it goes over their heads and into the arms of a little old lady in a floral dress. She beams and waves the scarf. :D :X)
*Micky pauses, then shrugs and wiggles out of the top of his jumpsuit.* :D
(Mike is getting more into it. He and Davy are taking off as much of their jumpsuits as they can without revealing their nasty scars.)
(Davy throws his gloves into the audience. The bikers get them this time...and THEY'RE beaming. ;) :X)
*Micky is down to just a pair of striped shorts now. He throws his jumpsuit into the crowd. He watches as not only the bikers, but other members of the audience, female and male, fight over it.*
(Davy's throwing his shoes into the audience.)
(The guys do some dance moves, Mike awkwardly, as the song winds down.)
Biker 1: Hey, aren't those the guys who wrecked our bikes?
Biker 2: Squirted us, too!
Mike: (Groans) Oh, shit, we're busted.
Micky: Fun's over. Eime to run! :P
Little Old Lady 1: (As the bikers start for the stage) Don't you dare hurt those nice boys!
Little Old Lady 2: I haven't been this hot and bothered since I put Steve MacQueen’s name on my dating service list!
Micky: *watches as now a group of little old ladies crowd toward the bikers* This is getting interesting. ;)
Little Old Lady 3: You leave them alone! They have a damn fine act! Do you know how hard it is to find talent like that these days?
Little Old Lady 4: Let's get 'em!
(The ladies hit the bikers with umbrellas or purses as the guys make for the exit.)
Mike: (Buttoning his jumpsuit) Um, guys, you know, Vegas seems a little too hot for me. Why don't we go home?
Micky: I guess we've had our fun. ;) *stands proudly in just his shorts* ;)
Davy: Yeah. Probably wasn't a good idea to come to the middle of the desert durin' a 'eat wave anyway. :p
Mike: And those casinos hurt, man!
Micky: Just think, now we get to put on all that leather for driving outta here. :P
Mike: (Grins) Let's do it the easy way. No one can see us, anyhow. (Dark blue light. All three guys disappear. When they reappear, they're back in their leather in the lobby of the Starlight Hotel.)
Micky: I've always liked the "easy way." ;)
Old Man at Desk: (He's leaning back at the desk, asleep; "Laugh-In" is seen on the TV screen; he suddenly awakes) You guys wanna check out so soon? Lose your shirts?
Davy: No, we just took them off. ;)
*Micky elbows Davy.* :P ;)
Mike: We decided we wanted to go someplace a bit cooler.
Old Man at Desk: (Takes his keys as Mike signs a few forms) Can't rightly say I blame you. Town's always been too hot for most folks. Just glad to see you didn't blow everythin'.
Mike: Nahh, not everything. (Finishes signing papers; hands over a wad of money)
Davy: Just most things. ;)
Micky: Yeah. ;)
Old Man at Desk: Well, have a nice...(yawns)...night... (he's snoring as the boys are heading out)
Micky: Nice fellow. :)
Mike: Yeah. At least he didn't ask questions.
Davy: 'E's probably seen worse than a couple of kids chased by bikahs. (Nods at the door) Well, men, let's move 'em out.
Micky: Ahh, the open road. I love it! :D
Mike: (Takes a deep sniff) Nuthin' like car fumes, baked grass, desert dust, and road that just goes on forever. :D
Davy: And I'm just glad we're alive to see it. ;)
(Cut to the guys on the road; sign that says "LA - 50 miles." Fade out on the guys on the neon-lit road and fade in on Malibu Beach. Emma and Lauren sit in front of Micky and Lauren's house as the guys pull up.)
Emma: (Surprised) You guys are home early. How was your trip?
Mike: Ehhh, Vegas wasn't all it was cut out to be. :p
Micky: Didn't live up to the hype. ;) :P
Davy: Let's just say we learned our lesson about boredom.
Lauren: *unbelieving* Uh huh, sure.
Mike: From now on, the furthest from home we're gonna go when we get bored is the municipal swimmin' pool. ;)
Davy: Now THAT'S a trip. ;)
Micky: Darn right! :)
Mike: I'm just glad to be back. (Hugs Emma) There really ain't no place like home. :D
Davy: You said it, Mike. :D
Micky: *hugs* Lauren* You got THAT right! :)
(The guys grin at each other, than the girls, as they all go inside Micky and Lauren's lit house. The camera pulls out, revealing the rest of Malibu Beach...and the LA skyline and freeways beyond, before fading out.)