Let's get started on fixing that special. Everyone ready to rock the holidays?
Peter: Yeah!
Micky: Oh yeah!
Mike: Let's go, Monkees! :D ;)
Lauren: You bet! :)
Davy: All right! :)
(It's backstage the night of the special. Everyone runs around. Davy is running through a number with the Angelina Druddard Dancers, who now wear flared navy trousers, red turtleneck tunics, narrow navy belts, and navy headbands. Davy's dressed like a more traditional, albeit miniature, Santa Claus. Mike and Peter, both of them wearing more-or-less normal clothes - i.e, tie-and-shirt and paisley-and-beads - tune up their guitars.)
(Emma sits with Marian. Both are dressed somewhat like the dancers, but neither wear a belt. Marion wears green and navy. Emma's pants are golden brown. Micky comes after Lauren, trying to grab his tape measure back. They wear red and green sweaters with black pants.)
Emma: (Looks up) I thought you gave that back to him.
Lauren: *shakes her head* I did, then I took it back again. You know it's time to take a tape measure away when he tries to use it on YOU!
Micky: Aw, babe! I won't do it again, just give it back!
(Emma and Marian just double over laughing.)
Lauren: *sits next to Emma; holds the tape measure behind her* No way, pal!
Mike: He STILL playin' with that thing?
Peter: I told you he's dangerous with it!
Mike: (Rolls his eyes) This from the person who gave him the chemistry set.
Micky: I'll put it away, I swear!
Lauren: *shakes her head* It's mine now!
Peter: Hey, I know he likes science! I thought he'd get a kick out of chemistry. (Shrugs)
Lauren: And a bang and a boom and a...
Micky: *whines* Baaaabe!
Emma: Lauren, give him back the tape measure if he promises to put the damn thing away while we're onstage.
Micky: *nods* I promise, really!
Lauren: Oh, all right. *hands over the measuring tape*
John: (He and Liza enter; Liza is dressed like the other dancers, in red and navy) Liza, please? One of the dancers got sick. You SAID you used to be a dancer...
Liza: John, I haven't danced since sixth grade!
John: (Pushes her over to Davy) Good enough.
Emma: Ok, Mick, go put away the tape measure and practice with the guys.
Micky: *hugs the tape measure* Awright, awright! *heads off*
(Arthur emerges in a sweater, turtleneck, cordoroys, and casual moccasins. He takes very deep breaths.)
Arthur: How many more minutes before we start, John?
John: Five minutes, Art. Do you know how we're beginning?
Arthur: (Nods) I hope this works, Johnny.
John: (To himself) Me too. (Out loud) Of course it will, Art! Now, you go find Prissy and practice the "Nutcracker" skit with her.
(Valerie joins them behind the scenes. She wears a simple but elegant dark-green velvet minidress.)
Valerie: Hi, everyone. Ready for the big night?
Peter: Valerie! (Gives her a big hug) I'm so nervous, I think I might start hiccuping!
Valerie: (Laughs) Want me to get you a drink of water, Peter?
Peter: No, I'm ok. Maybe...(hiccup)...I...(hiccup)...was wrong.
Micky: *returns* Oh no. Don't tell me he's hiccuping again!
Valerie: I'll get you some water. (She walks out as Junior walks in, looking happy and a little nervous.)
Junior: Are all of you ready? We start broadcasting in a few minutes.
Mike: WE are. Pete, on the other hand...
Peter: I...(hiccup)...sorry...(hiccup)...always...(hiccup)...do this...(hiccup)..when I'm nervous!
Davy: (Comes over grinning) Nice girls. Not too bright up 'ere, 'cept for Liza Martin, but 'earts of gold, and not bad 'oofahs. (Sighs) Oh, Petah, not again!
Junior: Will he do that on the air?
Marian: Maybe we could make it part of the routine.
Micky: That could work.
Mike: He's NOT hiccuping his way through the opening number!
Lauren: Well, he can't really do that much about it.
(Valerie comes in with the water and hands it to Peter.)
Valerie: Here you go, honey. (To the others) Good luck tonight! Dad's out there in the audience now. He's dying to find out what all these "changes" are.
Mike: Hope he likes them.
Marian: Really, all I want is to connect with an audience again. We've been playing to half-full to no audiences for years. I like working here, and I don't want to see this station shut down or be sold out to one of the major networks.
Prissy: (Comes in grumbling; she wears a pink tutu, tights, wings, wand, and metal tiara) Whose idea was it to make me the Sugar Plum Fairy in the "Nutcracker" skit?
Marian: (Grins) I'm too old and fat to pull off wearing wings, Priss.
Prissy: You expect a woman who has played the greatest Lady MacBeth in the history of Los Angelas to sing about sugar plums and Rankin-Bass?
Marian: Try something new, Prissy. You might surprise yourself.
John: One minute, folks!
Peter: I...(hiccup)...can't...(hiccup)...believe this! It's so...(hiccup)...exciting!
Mike: We're REALLY gonna be on TV...and we'll be able to PLAY.
Micky: This is gonna be so much fun!
Davy: I get to show off me own choreography, like a TV Gene Kelly! :D
John: Ok, boys, get your stuff together! You're gonna burst in on ol' Arthur in five minutes, after he comes in and makes the opening jokes.
Arthur: Is my mike on?
John: Your mike is fine, Art. Where's the Children's Choir?
Liza: They're in the back, rehearsing their last number with Arthur and the boys.
John: Ok, people, gather 'round. (Everyone gathers around John, who stands on a crate.) I really appreciate all of you being so good about all of these last-minute changes. We're providing comfort, warmth, and entertainment for people during a stressful time of year, and this year, we're providing it for ALL people. It doesn't matter if you're young, or old, or what your religion is. Almost everyone is celebrating SOMETHING at this time of year, so let's go out and show the San Fernando Valley what we can do, and that changes don't always mean violence and destruction.
Junior: I agree, Mr. Libby. Let's show our audience what we can do...our ENTIRE audience, parents, grandparents, and children.
Valerie: (Gives Peter a quick kiss) I'll be in the front row with Dad, cheering you on, honey! (Grins at Micky) Mick, I think I saw your Mom and sisters somewhere in the middle rows. ;)
Micky: *nods* I spotted them already.
Stagehand: (Pokes his head in) Art, you're on! Everyone else, get ready!
(Arthur hurries onto a set that looks suspiciously like the Pad, complete with odd items strewn about. The Christmas tree and presents from the original set are retained on this one, but the furniture is a mixture of the original overstuffed and older pieces, some painted psychadelic colors. The stockings are now trimmed with glitter, glue, and other things that make them intentionally look like children decorated them, and there's a refrigerator with notes, magnets with names of tourist traps, and children's drawings. A real palm tree is seen behind the fake "window." Bowls of popcorn, peanuts, and potato chips sit out on the table.)
Arthur: (The curtain opens to find John sitting in one of the original overstuffed pieces, his shoes off, reading a newspaper, as the camera rolls. John sighs) Such depressing things you read in the news...(looks up at the camera). Oh, hello, there! I was just getting ready for a little get-together with my wife and some family friends. Prissy won't be around for a while. She's doing her Christmas shopping. The kids should be here soon, though, and a bunch of other folks. (Tosses the newspaper on the table) I hired a band for the party. Nice kids. They play some really great stuff. They're friends of my kids, but I've heard them at local clubs. Some of you may have, too.
(The four Monkees enter at that moment, carrying Micky's drums and the guitars. Peter and Davy flop on either side of Arthur, beaming, as Micky and Mike set up the drums.)
Davy: 'Ullo, luv!
Peter: (Beaming) Hi, Mr. Rupert! (Gives him a big hug, much to everyone's surprise, including Arthur's)
Arthur: Oh, my, that's not how we...(remembers himself)...why, thank you, Peter. That was very...interesting.
Davy: 'E's a real 'ippie, our Petah.
Peter: We once hugged a gangster into submission!
(Davy reaches over Arthur and smacks Peter in the back of the head.)
Mike: (Quick glare at Peter, then to Arthur) Hi, Mr. Rupert. All ready for us to play our first number?
*Micky waves, grinning widely.*
Arthur: Well, why not, fellas? And while we're at it, why don't you introduce yourselves to my guests?
Mike: (Nods) Hi, folks. Michael Nesmith's the name.
Davy: David Jones, from England, percussionist and sometime-drummer.
Micky: *waves again, then twirls his sticks* Micky Dolenz, drummer extraordinaire!
Peter: Peter Tork, or sometimes Thorkelson. Micheal and I both play guitar, but I can also play the piano, French horn, the harp, keyboard, the organ, the...
Davy: (Reaches over Arthur again and puts his hand over Peter's mouth) Don't mind 'im, folks. Our Petah is very musical. 'E can play almost anything you put in 'is 'and.
Micky: *grinning* We don't have all night, Pete.
Arthur: (A bit muffled behind Davy) Maybe you boys had better start playing.
Mike: Come on, guys! This is TV! Quit goofing off!
Peter: (As he and Davy get up) Who's goofing? I really do play a lot of instruments! (To the camera) And I want to give a message of peace and love for a very loving holiday season, and that we finally have peace in the world...
Mike: (Grabs Peter) Let's not get started on your OTHER favorite subject!
Peter: (As he picks up the bass) They'd let you go on for hours about John Wayne or Micky talk about science, but I can't talk about peace!
(Mike smacks Peter again.)
Arthur: (Sighs) Just play, boys.
Mike: (Turns to the guys) Anything you boys wanna play?
Davy: (Grins at the others) Well, Petah and Micky and I 'ave been cookin' up a little somethin' for the show...
Micky: Yeah!
Peter: Just follow us, Mike.
Davy: (To Arthur and the camera) Our first numbah, folks, is a song featuring the three of us talented, charming boys...
Micky: And humble.
Mike: (Mutters) Don't overextend yourselves.
Arthur: TONIGHT!
(The boys immediately launch into "Christmas Is My Time Of Year." Arthur settles down in a chair and is just looking like he's almost enjoying the music when Emma, the Angelina Druddard Dancers, Lauren, and Marian wander in. Everyone onstage dances. Davy gets up and joins the girls stage front, handing the tambourine over to Lauren. Marian yanks Arthur out of his seat and wriggles as well as she can to the music. He looks perplexed.)
*Lauren moves over next to Micky behind the drums, grinning at Marian's antics.* ;)
(The boys finish the number as Prissy walks in, her arms laden with gifts.)
Prissy: (Makes a face, but says anyway) Arthur, dear, you already got the party started!
Arthur: Prissy! (Takes her and embraces her; she's a bit stiff) How was the shopping trip?
Peter: Oooh, whatdidyoubringme? (Runs over and leans into the shopping bag)
Arthur: (Smacks his hand) Please, boy, control yourself!
(Micky, Davy, and some of the younger dancers are already crowded around Prissy.)
*Lauren shrugs and joins the group around Prissy.*
Marian: I've always said she was the life of the party.
Arthur: (Stands on the coffee table, pulls a whistle from under his sweater, and blows on it hard) ENOUGH! Give my poor wife some air!
Prissy: I'll give YOU some air out that window if you don't get off my clean table!
Marian: I think she means it, hon.
Arthur: (grins wickedly) Prissy, darling?
Prissy: (As she walks across the stage) Yes?
Arthur: (Wiggles his eyebrows micheviously) What DID you bring me?
Prissy: (Winks) You'll find out on Christmas morning, darling! Now, let me slip into something...comfortable. (Walks off the set)
Marian: Art, why don't you just get her on the table and go for it? You could probably get away with it in this crowd!
(Everyone laughs or whistles. There's quite a bit of laughing and whistling from the audience, too.)
*Micky grins. Lauren smacks the side of his head.*
Arthur: I...um...oh dear...why don't we just cut to the Los Angelas Children's Choir? They're part of Prissy's very important work with the Orphan's Fund of Los Angelas, you know.
(A group of about thirty children troop onto the stage, followed by several adults, while the kids move their instruments off stage. Marian remains onstage, but the dancers, the Monkees, and the girls go backstage.)
John: (Makes a face) So far, so good. Other than a few comments the sponsors are going to be raving about for weeks, nothing too bad.
Mike: Pete, did you HAVE to bring up the war...not to mention the gangster incident?
Peter: You KNOW how I feel about war, Michael, and the comment about Martinelli just slipped!
John: I know we're trying to encourage improv, but remember, there's sponsors out there, and they won't always be as impressed with your views on Vietnam.
Mike: So what, we have to hide them?
John: Just be careful from here on in.
(We briefly cut to the Children's Choir singing "Oh Christmas Tree" while gathered around the tree with Arthur and Prissy. The older kids stand just off-stage, listening.)
Peter: They're such lovely singers, like a choir of little angels.
Micky: Aw... *sniffs; Lauren offers him a tissue*
Mike: They ain't bad. Makes me miss the Houston City Choir.
Davy: (Puts his arms around his friend's shoulder) Rememberin' your youngah yeahs, Mick?
Micky: Yeah.
Lauren: The only difference is, an angel he wasn't.
(The group chuckles softly.)
Mike: (Whispers) Let's go set up for the next number.
*The set is now made up like a huge toy room, with train sets, Erector sets, legos, Matchbox cars, and other toys scattered about. A tree stands in the middle with a train around the trunk, going in circles on its track. Once the drumkit is set up again, Micky grabs a few handfuls of tinsel that've been taped together and hangs them off the cymbals. He hands the last one to Lauren. She sticks it to the tambourine.*
Micky: *as he takes his seat behind the drums* Wanna do "O Little Town Of Bethelehem" next? *grins hopefully*
Mike: (Nods) A nice way of leadin' from the kids to us.
Peter: That's a pretty song.
John: (Comes on the set) Ok, guys, you'll be on in two minutes, once the commercial break finishes and we get the kids off.
Mike: (Grins as he leaves) I think this is one of the grooviest things we've ever done. Mick, you did a great job on the set.
Micky: *waves it off, grinning* Aw, no problem! I had a lotta fun with it!
Peter: And unless we all have doctor bills again, we should have plenty of money for Christmas presents!
Lauren: No Christmas tree hunting in the woods.
Mike: Well, at least I don't have to fight with little old ladies in the woods!
Emma: Don't worry, Lauren. I've already chosen our tree and have it at the Pad. It just isn't decorated yet. I don't want him shaking himself to death for the holidays.
Mike: Sure, take all the fun out of it.
Lauren: Still, from what I was told, SOMEONE didn't know the difference between holly and mistletoe and POISON IVY.
(Everyone chuckles.)
*Micky looks around and spins on his stool.*
Mike: Dave, let me put the star on this year.
Davy: Why cahn't I put it on, Mike? I rathah liked that!
Mike: I don't feel like paying for your busted head again.
Davy: I didn't bust me 'ead the first time!
Peter: No, you just got a really big lump that needed stitches!
Mike: And need we start with you and the motorcycle, Pete?
Peter: I thought that was the kickstand!
Micky: Okay, so we didn't have such great luck that year.
Peter: At least we helped Melvin! That was the important thing. :)
Mike: Yeah. He didn't end up being such a bad kid.
Emma: Mike?
Mike: (As he tunes his guitar) Yeah, darlin'?
Emma: There's something I've been wondering.
Mike: What?
Emma: Baby, why did you help Melvin when you're no big fan of Christmas yourself?
Mike: (Quietly) Maybe Mel reminded me a little of myself at his age. I wasn't rich or a human machine, but I lived with a single mother. The look in his eyes when his aunt took off...I felt that alone at his age. Mom usually worked on Christmas Eve. She wasn't on a cruise, and she wasn't far away, but it hurt just as much.
Peter: (Puts a hand on his friend's shoulder) Oh, Michael. Christmas is a very painful time for you, isn't it?
Mike: (Nods) Yeah, it is. When I was a kid, it was just another reminder that I was poor white Texas trash. There were years when Mom would break a branch off a pine tree for a Christmas tree, or when we didn't have one at all. The few decorations we had were homemade, and Mom was never a great cook, so we didn't have cookies or Christmas dinner. After Uncle Patrick died, we stopped going to Aunt Kate's for Christmas. I guess it was easier that way.
Peter: (leans over and hugs Mike) Michael, you don't have to feel alone anymore. We're your friends. We won't leave you. You have us now, and a place to live, and we'll have money for Christmas after we do this show.
Micky: That's right, man.
Emma: Mike, you are NOT trash. Your neighbors and schoolmates in Texas were crazy for thinking that! You shouldn't keep believing them. What did THEY know about YOU?
Davy: And you 'ave us now, and your career, and Emma.
Emma: That's right, honey. (Gets up on stage and takes his hand) Peter and I love you, honey. We want to make sure you and Melvin are never left alone like that on a holiday ever again.
Peter: No one should be. Everyone should be loved by SOMEONE, no matter how much money they have!
Mike: (Soft sigh) I wish everyone thought like you guys.
Lauren: The world would be a much nicer place. *sighs*
(John comes in as Emma and Peter embrace Mike.)
John: Hey, that's great! All that peace and love stuff! Keep holding him! (Arthur walks in, followed by Prissy, Marian, and several other people in semi-casual late 60s clothes. John turns to the camera) Aaaannnd...ACTION!
(No one moves for a moment as the curtain opens again. The "house" set moves off the stage, revealing the toy room set. John stares into the camera like a deer staring into headlights coming at 80 miles an hour on Route 66. He finally gives a smile, wiggles his fingers at the camera, and hurries off the stage.)
Arthur: (He turns to the camera with a grin) Don't mind him, folks. He's not used to being in FRONT of the camera.
Marian: He has this idea that the cameraman's gonna come out and bite him. I think it haunts his dreams.
(Liza elbows her.)
Arthur: (Turns to the kids) I was wondering where you had all wandered off to! (Raises his eyebrows at Emma, Mike, and Peter's embrace) Did I walk into a love-in?
Marian: Is this one of those wife-swapping deals?
Mike: Um, no. My wife would probably commit an act of random violence if I tried swapping her with anyone.
Emma: You're lucky we're on live TV, or I'd go find my hockey stick and use it.
Prissy: Please! :p
Marian: Hey, not in the Children's Room!
Another Guest: Yeah, save it for the rec room!
Davy: (Grins) Or the way they act, the WRECKED room.
(Mike and Emma both glare at Davy, who shrugs.)
Micky: I liked that, Dave.
Davy: Thank you, Micky. I thought so, too. (Emma and Mike creep up on Davy, Mike holding his guitar over his head like he's going to hit Davy with it.) Now, come on...
Peter: (Eyes widen) I think we'd better launch the next song, Micky!
Marian: Hey you two, save the violence for the 6 o’clock news!
Micky: Yipe! Yeah... *calls out* "Little Town Of Bethlehem!" *counts it off*
(Peter starts playing as Emma and Mike chase Davy off the stage.)
*While Micky plays and sings, Lauren sneaks away and returns with a Santa hat. She walks up behind Micky and plops it on his head.*
(Emma has cornered Mike, who has cornered Davy. As Mike pretends to bring the guitar down on Davy's head, Emma plops Mike's dark-green wool hat on his head - it has a feather on it and glitter that says "Santa's Little Helper." Davy turns, chuckles, and takes off. Mike takes the hat off his head, glares at Emma, who is doubled over laughing, and chases her back on the bandstand.)
(All six are on the bandstand when the song comes to an end.)
Arthur: (Smiles) That was quite lovely.
Marian: Hey, since we're in the Children's Room, why don't we tell a children's story?
Peter: I have an idea! (Picks up his guitar) Let's tell a story with music!
Micky: *grins* Yeah!
Mike: (Takes his guitar and tosses the hat offstage) Dare I ask what kind of story we tell?
Peter: How about a nice story?
Prissy: Goes without saying.
Marian: I know a nice story. It's the one about the old man, the German dancer, and the pro... (Prissy elbows her so hard, she almost falls over and has to walk off stage)
Prissy: Well, look at that! Marian needs some water.
Arthur: (Muttering) Marian needs to remember to watch her stories.
Peter: I have an idea. Why don't Micky and Davy and the kids tell the story of Frosty the Snowman? :)
Mike: Sure. Beats stories about old men, German dancers, and pros... (Emma elbows Mike)
Micky: As much as I'm intrigued by that... *grins at Lauren, who shakes her head.*
Davy: (Bows to the camera) My friend Micky and I would like to tell a little snow tale to all of the children out there in the San Fernando Valley. I grew up in a city called Manchestah in England, but 'e was once a little California tyke, just like all of you.
(Davy and Micky get off the bandstand and head for front-and-center stage.)
Micky: You know, Dave, it's been a little while since I've seen snow, especially around here.
Davy: Try livin' in Manchestah sometime. We got blizzahds every wintah, sometimes three or four feet deep.
Micky: *makes a face* No thanks.
Davy: It ain't so bad, Mick. We used to 'ave snowballs (a "snowball" - actually white shredded cotton - is thrown at Micky from offstage) and forts (a white foam "fort" drops behind Micky and Davy) and catch snowflakes on our tongues. (Davy puts up an umbrella as a brief "blizzard" of soap flakes rains down on the two boys.)
Micky: Geez, I KNOW what snow is! *chuckles*
Davy: Good. You know 'ow to 'elp me tell this story, then.
Micky: Of course! It's one of my favorites!
(The two boys launch into a wild rendition of "Frosty the Snowman." The Angelina Druddard Dancers trot in as kids in psychadelic knitted scarves and mittens. More "snowballs" are thrown from offstage.)
*Lauren appears up in the catwalk above the stage, carrying a bucket. She glances over the side. She's right above where Micky and Davy stand. She grins widely and dumps the bucket's contents over the side, the contents being crushed iced, which land directly on Micky!*
(Davy chuckles; the squealing dancers hurry out of the way.)
Micky: *remains still, while trying not to laugh* She is sooo gonna get it for this. ;)
(The dancers return with a "snowman" dancing around.)
(Everyone but Arthur, Emma, Mike, and Peter have gone offstage during this demonstration.)
(Davy dances with the snowman, then a few dancers, beaming at the camera the whole time.)
*Another of Mike's knit hats is thrown at Micky, who's trying to rid himself of the ice. He turns toward the side of the stage & sticks his tongue out at Lauren, who's grinning widely. Micky snatches up the hat and puts it on.*
(The number ends with crushed ice and snow raining down on the whole group...except for Micky, who has mysteriously vanished, as has Frosty. When everyone looks up, along with the camera, we see Micky waving on the catwalk above the stage, holding a bucket and grinning wickedly.)
Lauren: Uh oh.
(The curtain closes, and Frosty runs in again. He takes off his round head to reveal John. There’s a scream from behind the curtain.)
Angelina: Double duty, Johnny-boy?
John: I couldn't get Arnie into the hot suit, and Arthur said he'd do war news at midnight if he didn't have to do it! We'll do Mike and Peter's number, then cut to the staff's "Nutcracker" skit.
Davy: Wot did you think, John?
John: I think Micky had better get down here and clean this mess up before your next number.
Micky: *calls from the ladder* I'm comin', I'm comin'!
Lauren: What's he need to clean up? Most of it's still on me! *trudges off to the dressing rooms*