*We open at the Pad where all four guys set up equipment on the bandstand. The gals are gathered around the kitchen table, chatting... & rather loudly.*

Emma: I'm glad the boys got this Halloween gig.

Lauren: Me, too! It should be alot of fun!

Valerie: Alexandra O'Malley was delighted to have them for a "Special Halloween Engagement."

Daphne: Does anyone know if they'll be in costumes?

Emma: Mike said he'd wear his fancy cowboy outfit if he had to. He's not all THAT crazy about dressing up for Halloween.

Lauren: *shakes her head* Mick's been bouncing between about a half dozen different ideas.

Valerie: Peter wants to borrow Micky's devil costume. I told him that was a bad idea after what just happened.

Daphne: *nods* Yeah... a little too soon for that, I think.

Lauren: So I guess Davy hasn't come up with an idea, yet, then, huh?

Daphne: *shakes her head* I wasn't even sure, that's why I asked.

Emma: Maybe they should all go as the same thing or a group idea...

Lauren: *makes a face* I'm not so sure they could all agree on the same thing...

Emma: I wish they WOULD agree on the same thing. That's kind of how the whole business with Peter started.

Valerie: It would make MY life much easier...and life at Headquarters, too. I think they just don't know what direction to turn in now. Their movie bombed, their last two albums were way down in sales, and no one seems eager to do another special.

Emma: What ARE the guys going to do about the group now? Does anyone know?

Valerie: I wish they'd tell ME. I want to know if and when they'll be back in the studio.

Micky: *calls out* Has anyone seen my sticks!?

Lauren: *sighs* And someone keeps losing stuff...

Mike: Mick, they're behind you.

Peter: (Sound of shuffling) Here you are, Mick.

Micky: Oh. *smiles* Thanks, guys.

Davy: Mate, you'd lose your 'ead if it weren't attached.

Mike: Ok guys, one more time.

Micky: How about a different one?

Mike: (Sighs) Sure. Any requests?

Micky: *grins* Since the kids aren't here... how about "Mommy & Daddy?" *waggles his eyebrows*

Mike: (Grins) I like that one.

Peter: Me too. It's a shame we couldn't put your original lyrics on the actual record.

Micky: *makes a face* Too controversial my ass...

Lauren: I heard that, Mick!

Micky: *makes another face, then mutters* She's been trying to get me to stop swearing. *shrugs* Oh well.

Davy: We're guys... we sweah.

Emma: Not where the children can hear!

Mike: The kids can always hear it. I've been hearin' it all my life.

Emma: And your vocabulary is appauling.

Daphne: Atleast you've admitted to it, Davy.

Emma: Whenever you're ready, guys. We're going to have to go get the kids soon. They're supposed to be resting in the rooms upstairs.

*There's a crack of thunder outside, followed by lightning.*

Micky: Holy shi-- crap, that was close!

Davy: I saw that one right out ovah the watah...

Micky: *glances around* I'm just glad the power didn't go out. That one almost knocked me off my stool!

Emma: Ok, that was a little freaky.

Micky: Y'know... this is how alot of those old horror movies start!

Davy: Oh, Mick, don't... *rolls his eyes*

Micky: It was a dark & stormy night!

Mike: Well, this ISN'T a horror movie.

Lauren: And lets keep it that way, thank you.

*Suddenly, there's a scratching sound at the veranda door.*

Micky: *makes a face* You guys hear that sound?

Mike: Yeah...

Emma: Probably a bird.

Micky: I'm gonna look... *slides of his stool & heads for the door*

*Micky opens the door & steps out.*

Peter: Is it letting up yet, Mick?

Mike: Mick, get in here! You could get electrocuted like that.

Micky: *calls from outside* Not letting up... & I won't get electrocuted! I--ahhh!

Lauren: Mick!?

*Meanwhile, outside on the veranda, a man dressed in dark clothing leans over Micky. He lets Micky go, dazed, but the moonlight glints off the man's fangs, now dripping with blood. He then bites his own wrist & shoves the wound to Micky's mouth. Micky sputters, trying to turn his head away, to no avail. The dark man shoves Micky back through the veranda door.*

*It's been several tense moments inside before Micky stumbles back inside, followed by a bat, which lands on one of the empty chairs.*

Davy: A bat!

Mike: (Jumps back) Get it outta here!

Emma: (She jumps from her chair) Someone get it outside! I don't want it leaving droppings in here!

Valerie: It probably has rabies!

Lauren: Yeah, it just needs to leave!

Micky: I don't think it's rabies I have to worry about... *pulls his hand away from his neck; his eyes widen seeing blood* Oh shit...

*The bat flies & lands on the floor. It's then encircled by a puff of smoke, which clears to reveal a finely dressed man with a pale complexion.*

Mike: Shit!

Man: Greetings.

Peter: Oh, my GOD. Michael, that...that...that's not human.

Emma: I think we guessed that.

Micky: *joins the others, hand pressed to his neck* Who--or what--are you? And why did you attack me?!

*The man holds his arms out with a flourish. His cape sways behind him with his arm movement.*

Man: I am Count Damian of Hungary.

Mike: Uh huh. Nice costume. Watch Universal horror movies much?

Peter: (Grabs Mike's arm) Michael, don't antagonize him!

Lauren: You have a very nice... cape... sir.

Emma: Um...yes.

Davy: *shakes his head* Not quite Bela Lugosi.

Micky: Are you a vampire?

Lauren: *eyes widen* Mick!

Peter: Yes, he is! I know his aura isn't human!

Count Damian: *slight bow* You've learned my true colors.

Peter: (Gulps) I...I'm an empath, sir. I can read people's emotions.

Count Damian: Interesting. Actually, all of you in some way, interest me.

Mike: What are you doin' here, and why did you bite Micky?

Micky: Yeah, man, I didn't do anything to you!

Emma: Guys, he has long pointy teeth...and you don't.

Mike: Well, you can't go around just bitin' the neck of anyone you please!

Count Damian: *grins to show off his teeth* The Lady makes a very good point.

Micky: *whimpers* Oh shit...

Mike: (Whispers; to Peter) Go get the garlic. I could use my sword for a steak.

Peter: Uh, yeah, if I can move my legs without passing out.

Mike: (To the count) What is it you want of us?

Count Damian: I've been looking many years for a protege. I asked around... & was sent here.

Davy: Protege...? *realizes* You bit Micky!

Mike: Wrong address, pal.

Peter: (Bursts into tears) I don't WANT Micky to be a vampire! I like my blood!

Count Damian: It is a little too late now.

Emma: Oh shit...

Micky: YOU? I don't wanna be a vampire!

Lauren: But... but...

Mike: Yeah, you heard him! He doesn't want to be a vampire! Turn him back!

Count Damian: I cannot. He is already changing. *holds out a hand to Micky* Come, young man.

Micky: But... *takes a few steps towards the Count* I feel strange...

Mike: NO!! (He concentrates; his sword appears) Count Damian, I am the White Knight...and I will NOT let you take my friend!

Peter: (He pulls back towards the kitchen in horror, as far away from Micky and the Count as he can) Oh, my god...Micky's aura...

Count Damian: *makes his own sword appear* I must warn you, White Knight, that I won many awards as a swordsman in Hungary.

Mike: And I've bested the Devil hundreds of time.

*Lauren follows Peter, feeling the same from Micky...*

Emma: Mike, are you CRAZY?

Count Damian: I, too, have bested the Devil... & Devils.

Mike: (Lowers his sword momentarily in surprise) What?!

Davy: You're not just talking about Zero, are you, Count Damian?

Count Damian: *nods once* I've bested all three: Zero, Julia, & Alexander.

Mike: Alex too? (Grins) Can you tell me how you did that?

Emma: Mike!

Count Damian: As I said, I am an excellent swordsman.

Peter: Michael, no! He'll turn you, too!

Mike: Pete, I know what I'm doin'.

Count Damian: Fight me, if you feel you must, but you will only lose.

Micky: *dazed* Mike... back off...

Mike: Micky, what are you sayin'? I've gotta help you, man!

Micky: *shakes his head slightly* Can't. It's too late.

Count Damian: Micky is correct. I turned him the moment I flew in here.

Davy: You 'ad this planned.

Count Damian: Yes, I did.

Mike: Why Micky?

Count Damian: The deal of winning the sword match was the winner would receive any sort of information from the loser. I asked the Devils whom they felt would be best suited. Unanimously, they suggested the young man with the curly hair. *slight smirk* Savages make excellent vampires as, once turned, they attack often & quickly, without any second thoughts.

Lauren: You--you--*growls in frustration*

Mike: You bastard!

Peter: Count, isn't there anything we can do to help Micky?

(Emma makes her way quietly into the kitchen, searching her cupboards and refrigerator....)

Count Damian: If there was, why would I tell you & lose my sorely sought after protege?

Mike: (Sees Emma and knows she's up to something, so he keeps talking) What do you need a protege, or whatever, for?

Count Damian: I may not seem it, but I have been around for tens of thousands of years. I am old. I wish to pass down what I've learned from the millions of generations I have seen come & go.

Mike: (He holds out his sword) I wanna fight you, Damian. I want our Micky.

Peter: Michael, he could turn you, too!

Count Damian: If you so wish to fight me, then we shall.

Micky: *dazed* Mike... stop being so damned stubborn...

Emma: No! You're getting out of here, Count! (She runs over with a string of garlic bulbs) I knew I had these in the fridge somewhere! :D

*Count Damian screams, throwing his arms over his face. Smoke begins to rise from the floor. When the smoke clears, both Damian & Micky are gone.*

Davy: Oh man... it worked TOO good!

Emma: (Eyes widen) I didn't think he'd take Micky, too!

Daphne: This... is horrible...

Davy: Just when we've thought we've dealt with all the crazies we evah could... anothah reahs its ugly 'ead.

Lauren: *sinks in a chair at the kitchen table; moans* Micky...

Mike: We seriously need to get demagnitized. I'm tired of attractin' every demon, devil, and monster within a hundred-mile radius.

Emma: (Drops the garlic on the counter and sits next to Lauren) Oh sweetie...

*Davy nods, putting an arm around Daphne's shoulders.*

Lauren: *looks up at Emma; eyes wide with horror* I--I can't feel him anymore!

Emma: What?

Peter: Lauren, he isn't ALIVE anymore...not technically, anyway.

Davy: Oh no...

Peter: That's what that man's aura is. Supernatural....

*Lauren puts her head in her hands.*

Mike: We HAVE to find them. Where's the nearest place with blood?

Peter: Any house on this block.

Davy: They could've gone anywhere, mate.

Mike: Lauren, you can't feel him...but Urse and Rosie's radars can.

Emma: And unless vampires are big on sucking oil, THEY can't be drained.

Davy: I wouldn't be so sure about Mick. * laughs lightly, then shrugs*

*Daphne lightly slugs Davy's arm.*

Peter: (Shrugs) I think it's a good idea. It's worth a try.

Davy: We won't know unless we try.

Mike: (Puts his sword in the plain leather sheath slung on his back) Let's go. Rehearsal is called until we get Micky back.

Emma: (Puts an arm around Lauren) We'll get him back, sweetie. Don't worry.

Lauren: Please...

(Cut to stock footage seen in, among other episodes, "Monkee See, Monkee Die" and "Monstrous Monkee Mash." We then cut to what looks like the dungeon set from "Monstrous Monkee Mash.")

*We see Damian & Micky appear in a puff of smoke.*

Damian: *sighs* Home...

Damian: Well, young man, how do you like it?

Micky: This place is strangely familiar.

Damian: I get that alot.

Damian: Now, we must start at the beginning. *turns to Micky* First, you must LOOK the part of a vampire.

Micky: This isn't going to involve flying and me getting my own Dracula cape?

Damian: *sighs* I would pick one with a sense of humor. What is the difference you see between my clothing... & yours?

Micky: Nicer shoes?

Damian: *shakes his head* Michael... I am wearing a finely tailored suit. You... what IS that you are wearing anyway?

((pick something only micky would wear ))

Micky: (Shrugs) My tablecloth poncho. Oh, and the jeans...they're a little stained. I wore these the last time I did an art project with my kids.

Damian: Will not do. But I shall take care of that. I have a knack for picking clothing to match a personality. Please remain still for me, Michael.

Micky: Uh, sure. Just don't damage the poncho, ok? I worked hard on this thing!

Damian: I shall return the clothing you wear currently to your friends as a reminder.

Micky: Ok.

Damian: Very good, Michael. Now... remain still.

*Damian holds one hand out, palm up. He motions as though throwing something at Micky's feet. A smoke cloud raises, enveloping Micky. When the smoke clears, Micky is now dressed in a fine dark maroon suit, red shirt, black tie, black shoes, & red fedora.*

Damian: *motions to a mirror* Do you apporve, Michael?

Micky: (Flicks his hat back) Not bad. Not bad at all.

Damian: Thank you. Now, let me show you the rest of my home. Let me warn you, though, Michael... it's very easy to get lost in here.

Micky: That's ok. I have an excellent sense of direction.

Damian: I have heard that before. Come along.

*Damian leads Micky out of the room & along a dark hallway, lit only by a couple fancy crystal chandeliers.*

Micky: Oohhh...any ghosts in here?

Damian: I am sorry to say there are no ghosts in my home. Ghosts tend to dislike the undead.

Micky: No wonder we had problems with those goofy ghosts in Alex's place. What a bunch of dopes.

*Damian merely shakes his head as he pushes open a set of double doors.*

Damian: This, Michael, is the ballroom. I have held some of the most grandiose parties here one could ever imagine.

Micky: Where's the food?

Damian: *sighs* There is no party here, currently, Michael.

Damian: And we shall be viewing the kitchen momentarily.

Micky: (Grins) Did you say "kitchen?" :D

Damian: Follow me, Michael. *leads Micky to the kitchen*

Damian: *pushes another door open* The kitchen. Quite expansive, don't you think?

MIcky: (Looks around the huge, old-fashioned black-and-white kitchen, with it's enormous cupboards and large walk-in refrigerator) I'm in HEAVEN! :D

Damian: In my many years, I've learned the lion's share of recipes one is capable of creating using blood. I am quite pleased with myself.

Micky: Mind if I sleep in here? :D

Damian: Perhaps you'd care to hold off on that until I actually show you your room.

Micky: (Only half paying attention) Sure... =P~

Damian: *puts an arm around Micky's shoulders & guides him out* Come along, Michael. Let me show you your room.

*Damian leads Micky up a wide, carpeted stairway, then down part of a hallway, where he stops in front of another set of double doors.*

Damian: This, Michael, is your room... *pushes the doors open*

*The room is revealed to be absolutely huge. A drum kit sits in one corner. An expansive record collection covers an entire wall. The bed is made up in a set of psyachadelic sheets. A food bar is found across the room, complete with its own refridgerator. A pinball machine is set snugly in a corner. A large desk holds various designs & blue prints, as well as pads of paper, pencils, & other various items.*

Micky: Oh man... (He runs a hand over the drum set) This is good quality...

Damian: The best that money could buy.

Damian: I spare no expense.

Micky: (Flops down on the bed) Ahhh....the things I could do with Lauren in this...

Damian: Hm. It occurs to me you aren unaware of the rules of being a vampire.

Micky: What, you got somethin' against chicks? (Leans into the bed) This is soo nice...

Damian: I have nothing against "chicks," as you say... unless they are among the living. Michael, we are the undead. We can not... fraternize in that way with the living. I am sorry.

Micky: But my wife...my children...

Damian: Are no longer yours. Michael, you are no longer human. to be perfectly blunt, vampires cannot 'get it on' with humans.

Micky: No... (He slumps on the bed) Noo...

Damian: *sighs, making a face* I can see you will require some conditioning. Being turned typically removes such emotions.

Micky: Nooo! Turn me back!

Damian: *leans over & grabs Micky's shoulders* Michael, it is impossible for me to turn you back. If you wish to have your Lauren... you'll have to turn her.

Damian: *takes one of Micky's arms* Come along, Michael. I have a feeling there will be a party going on in the ballroom when we return there.

Micky: I don't wanna party. I want Lauren.

*Damian pulls Micky along back to the ballroom. He pushes the double doors open.... to reveal a MAJOR party.*

Damian: I need to condition you, Michael, & this is how we'll do it.

Micky: With a party? What are you going to do, pinata me to death?

Damian: No. *shakes his head; pauses* I bet you're rather hungry.

Micky: Well, yeah, just a little...

*Damian catches the arm of the nearest female to them & tugs her over to them. The woman looks a little bit like Lauren, but her hair is lighter in color & she's a few inches taller.*

Damian: Lesson one.

Woman: *giggly & obviously dazed; runs a hand along Micky's jawline* You're cute. :D

Micky: You're not bad either, babe. (Wiggles his eyebrows and grins)

Damian: Now that the introductions are over, Michael... bite her neck.

(As Micky leans over, the camera and his curly head block us from what happens next. When the camera pulls back, Micky is dazed...and so's the girl, who has two little marks on her neck.)

Micky: Uhhh....

Damian: *claps Micky's shoulder* I bet you feel more satisfied now, don't you?

Micky: (Still a bit dazed) Yeah...

Damian: You'll get used to it. You did very well, Michael. VERY well.

Damian: Shall we remain at the party or entertain ourselves in another manner?

Micky: Uh, party...sure...

Damian: Come along, Michael. I know what will help you out.

Micky: Sure...

*Damian leads Micky to one side of the ballroom, then pulls on a cord, which raises a heavy curtain... which reveals a large bandstand!*

Damian: Music. Wouldn't you like to sing?

Micky: Sure. (Takes the microphone on the bandstand) Any requests?

Damian: This is your show, Michael. Sing what you wish. I shall take care of your musical accompaniment.

*Behinds Micky, a full band appears.*

Micky: Groovy! So, do you really do the Transylvania Twist?

Damian: *snorts* That is a horrible rumor.

Damian: *takes a seat just off the side of the stage* Sing, Michael.

*Micky grabs the microphone & counts off to the band... who amazingly know exactly what song Micky wants to perform, "Don't Do It." A crowd gathers around the stage as Micky makes his way through the song. When he's finished, the group applauds... most of them flashing shiny sets of fangs.*

Damian: *applauds* Excellent, Michael!

Micky: (Bows) Thank you, thank you...

*The woman from earlier jumps onto the stage & wraps her arms around Micky & plants a HUGE kiss on him. She pulls away, showing off her fangs.*

Micky: (Eyes widen; grins) Wwoooww... :D

Damian: *stops next to the stage* She IS a vampire, might I add...

Damian: *smirks* Well... NOW she is after your little meeting with her earlier.

Micky: I...I did that?

*Damian nods once.*

Damian: You are a quick study, Michael.

Micky: Thanks. (Takes the girl's arm) So...what are you doing this evening?

Woman: *lands her head on his shoulder; dreamily* Whatever you wanna do. :x

Micky: Well, I have a bed I'd LOVE to show you...

Woman: *grins* I'd LOVE to see it!

*Damian walks away, whistling.*

(Micky walks off with the woman, the two of the chattering as the party continues and we fade out.)