Is everyone ready to find treasure...and bad guys?

Mike: I knew there had to be a catch.

Peter: How bad could it be?

Valerie: Honey, don't say things like that.

Micky: I'm ready.

(We open with an outside shot of Millie's bakery. Cut to inside. Lauren and Valerie sit at a booth along the windows. Emma comes in with newspapers and folders under her arm.)

Emma: Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late. I got held up at the newspaper stand near the Club Caprice.

Valerie: That's ok. I only just got out of the office myself. So, what's going on? You said you found out something important about the boys' new job.

Emma: (Nods and drops the papers and folders on the table) Yes, I did. I've been doing an article on local history and archeology...and antiquities thieves.

Valerie: I've been inquiring into the possibilities as well ever since Peter mentioned Dr. Brandon's worries to me last night.

Emma: By the way, the good doctor is clean. His name is Dr. Steve Brandon, and yes, he's what he says he is. They had an article on some award he won from UCLA at the Malibu Beach Register.

Valerie: Good. At least we can trust him.

Emma: I've done some reading into the history of the missing treasure of Black Patch Harry. Clarence Jeffries isn't the only one who couldn't find it. There were a number of people in late 19th and early 20th century who went looking for it, but though they didn't disappear like Jeffries, the didn't come out with gold and gems, either.

Valerie: Lauren, you guys are fairly close to that area. Have you seen anyone ever attempting to treasure hunt around there?

Lauren: Maybe. We haven't exactly been watching for that.

Emma: (She hands Lauren and Valerie newspapers) Here. There was a major theft of antiquities from a local museum last week...and it was pirate loot.

Lauren: Pirates. What's the deal with pirates anyway?

Emma: They stole gold and jewels...or so the stories say.

Valerie: (Raises her eyebrows) I've heard of these thieves. They claim to be art collectors. The mother worked for the Museum of Natural History in New York before being fired for filching some of the collection.

Emma: The Morton family. Mrs. Annabelle Morton and her two sons. Note no "Dr" here. Mrs. Morton is said to just be a history fanatic and obsessive hoarder.

Valerie: And obviously one who wants to be wealthy as well.

Emma: Apparently, Mrs. Morton grew up poor in the Bronx, but her family spent a lot of time taking cheap subway rides to Coney Island, where she developed her interest in pirate lore.

Valerie: And supposedly they came over here after several local pirate treasures.

Emma: So it would seem.

Millie: (She comes over) Hi, girls. What'll be... (she looks up as we hear noise outside) ...what's that?

Emma: (Looks outside and sees cars) Holy cow!

Valerie: (We hear sirens) What's going on? Are they filming a cop show or something?

Millie: Either that, or some insane killer escaped!

Emma: (She's gathering her papers) I want to check this out.

(The three women run outside. Police cars are on their way past the shop at high speeds, following a large van.)

Emma: What's going on?

Valerie: (As police cars blaze down Main Street and people scatter) This is amazing!

Millie: Did we walk into a movie or something?

Emma: (As we hear gunfire) Yikes!

Lauren: *Grins* We need to find out what's going on!

Valerie: Right.

Millie: (Nods) I can't leave my place, but I want to know, too. This could scare off my customers.

Emma: (Points to Sergeant Nielson getting out of a squad car) Well, isn't that convienient?

Lauren: I'll say.

Millie: Hey Lester, what's all the hubub about?

Sergeant Nielson: The Morton Family just sprung one of the sons from prison. We caught him last week when he and his family were robbing a private antiques collection in Beverly Hills. They got away with the loot...but we got the kids. (Makes a face) If you ask me, they could keep him. If I'd had to listen to his annoying little Brooklyn accent one more time, I think I would have put myself in the cell just to get away from it.

Millie: So that's what you guys were chasing.

Sergeant Nielson: We've been after these people ever since we heard reports of them turning up on the West Coast. You'd think people with New York accents who like to dress in khaki and pith helmets would be hard to miss!

Emma: Um, yeah.

Valerie: You wouldn't have had any idea of where those people were going, would you?

Sergeant Nielson: If I were the Mortons, to the nearest safe-deposit box to stash all those jewels.

Emma: They don't sound that sane. (Thoughtful) Are they the kind of people who would go on a treasure hunt for previously unearthed antiquities?

Sergeant Nielson: From what that idiot kid was saying last night, they'd go to Davy Jones' Locker for previously unearthed antiquities... (grins) ...if you'll pardon the expression.

Emma: (Turns to the girls) Maybe we ought to get going. It sounds like the boys might be in over their heads if these people have guns.

Valerie: Lauren, you know what Micky brought with them. I doubt guns was on that list.

Lauren: And I'm sure you already know the answer to that question.

Valerie: Nothing that shoots real bullets.

Sergeant Nielson: You be careful, ladies. These people may not seem too bright, but they are armed and dangerous.

Emma: We'll be ok. (Mutters to herself) I hope. (Turns to the ladies as Nielson turns to his men and Millie returns to her shop) Maybe we ought to grab Daphne after she gets out of the studio and see if we can warn the guys. If these people have found out about their little trip, they may come after them. Mrs. Marion and Mrs. Filcheck already have most of the kids for the afternoon.

Valerie: And my boys are staying at the mansion for a few days while I do work and Peter's gone.

Emma: I'm so glad you and the kids came home early, Lauren. I'll bet Micky was surprised when you showed up from his mom's house this morning.

Lauren: Oh, he was surprised all right. I had to explain to the kids why Daddy wasn't wearing any clothes.

Valerie: (She giggles; Emma doubles over laughing) That must have been interesting.

Lauren: *Sighs* Not something I ever want to do again.

Emma: Bet they saw a lot more of their father than they ever wanted to.

Lauren: Yes. Then little Mick proceeded to copy Daddy.

Valerie: Oh goodness...

(Emma laughs so hard, she starts crying.)

Valerie: Um, maybe we'd better get going. (As Emma wipes her eyes) And I will add that I'm so glad the worst Jordan ever did was a phase of running around in his underwear.

Emma: Katie did the underwear thing, too. It's Robbie who won't wear clothes.

Valerie: (Looks at her watch) Daphne must be out by now. Lauren, why don't you call her back at your house, and we'll head over to the caves from there to see if we can cut the boys off at the pass?

Emma: And I'll call the Register and tell them they'll have a major scoop for the paper tomorrow!

Lauren: Okay.

Valerie: Ok, ladies. Let's go. (They head to the parking lot, where we see Valerie's blue coupe Rosemarie and Lauren's Bel Air)

(The camera moves up to the blue California sky and the mountains and palm trees in the background. When it pans down again, we're now on the beach. Three Monkees follow Dr. Brandon and several thinner men in jeans, boots, and button-down shirts. Everyone carries backpacks.)

Mike: (Looks over his shoulder) Micky, come on!

Micky: I'm comin'... *finally appears, wearing a large pack on his back*

Mike: Why do you ALWAYS have to pack three times as much as anyone else?

Micky: I like to be prepared!

Peter: He has a point. You never know what you might need.

Mike: Pete, don't encourage him.

Davy: Mick doesn't need encouragement.

Dr. Brandon: (He stops at the highest point and holds up the doubloon) Well, I'll be damned! Boys, look at this!

(Everyone crowds around him. He holds up the doubloon...revealing that the holes fit a cave, the fishing pier, and a restaurant on the edge of a series of large boulders.)

Mike: So?

Dr. Brandon: I think it's our first clue. Michael, (hands him the map) you can translate this. You have the best Spanish here.

Mike: (Takes the map and reads it) Well, I ain't up on the old-style dialect here, but I think it says somethin' 'bout walkin' a hundred paces north, an' that's where we'll find the treat - the treasure, I'm assumin'.

Assistant #1: (Holds up a compass) North is that way. (Points to his right)

Peter: Looks like it's closest to the restaurant.

Dr. Brandon: (Nods) That restaurant has been abandoned for a few years now. I doubt anyone would mind if we took a look.

Peter: (Takes Mike's arm) Shall we go, gentlemen?

Davy: Lets go, mates.

Mike: Maybe they have food left in odd corners, Mick.

Micky: Maybe.

(We see the men all link arms and walk over to the building in a two-on-two parade...until Dr. Brandon and his partner stops abruptly. We hear tires squeal and voices.)

Dr. Brandon: What's this?

Mike: (As the others appear) I thought you said this place was abandoned.

Dr. Brandon: Well, it was!

Micky: Doesn't sound like it to me!

Assistant #2: Get down! (They all duck down as two men in khaki and pith helmets carry out crates)

Mike: I wonder what's in the crates?

Peter: Restaurant food?

Davy: Why do I doubt that?

Mike: Shh!

Man #1: Why do I have to carry the heavy part? Can't you help, Ma?

Ma: You respect your elders, boy. I have to clear out room for these boxes.

Man #2: Can't you see it in your heart to carry just one side?

Ma: Give me 50% of your cut.

Man #2: MAAAAA!

((They all go inside after that. We can hear the two men bickering over the boxes even after we go inside.)

Assistant #3: What in the heck was that all about?

Mike: Cut?

Peter: Something tells me they weren't talking about steaks.

Micky: Too bad.

Dr. Brandon: I'm goin' in.

(They all follow him to the restaurant. It's a fairly small building with a wide porch and large windows...but the windows have cracks and are dirty, and there's warped boards in the porch and on the roof.)

Peter: (We hear someone coming at the door) I hear something. Get down! (They all duck under the porch. We see the three people - a large, red-faced, curly-haired woman in a khaki outfit and pith helmet, and her two Laurel-and-Hardy sons. One is tall, skinny, and wears glasses and has blond hair. The other is short, fat, and looks more like his mother, with brown curls and a red face. Both are dressed like their mother, in pith helmets and khaki shorts and shirts.)

Mike: (Smirks as the young men continue to bicker) Oh, this is classic. (We hear an "owww!" and a "You did that on purpose!")

(Then we hear the sound of fisticuffs and a scuffle. Booted feet seem to come rather close to the boys under the porch...until a smaller set of feet get between them.)

Micky: Anyone else sense familiarity in this?

(Mike grins. Peter chuckles.)

Ma: Enough, you two! We've got more important things to do than you two knockin' each other around!

Sons: (In unison) He started it!

Ma: Enough, you doodle-brains. Come on, we've gotta get the rest of it. (We see them leave, then cut back to under the porch. Dr. Brandon peers out cautiously as we hear tires squeal.)

Dr. Brandon: Looks like the coast is clear.

Peter: (Chuckles) Boy, those two are fun. Stupid, but fun.

Mike: (Nods at the door) Why don't we let ourselves in, boys?

Dr. Brandon: (He's up first; tries to open the door) Darn it, it's locked!

Micky: *Puts his hand out* Silent explosive, anyone?

Dr. Brandon: You really have one of those?

Mike: Micky has everything.

Peter: Don't blow anything too far. We may need this building.

Micky: Yeah yeah. *Puts the explosive on the door*

(Everyone ducks away. The door blows open. There's no noise, but there is now a small hole in the door.)

Dr. Brandon: I hope they don't notice.

Mike: Could have been worse.

Peter: Good, the building is still intact.