Ok, is everyone ready to begin this month's story?

Mike: Yeah, I am.

Peter: I'm so glad I'm on vacation.

Micky: I'm ready.

Davy: So am I.

(We with a shot of a small museum in LA. Cut to inside. The four Monkees wander the halls, exploring the ancient antiquities from various times in California history.)

Mike: (As he inspects a wall of pictures depicting pirates who terrorized California) Amazing.

Micky: This is so groovy.

Peter: (Nods) Yes, Micky, it is. And so many of these men ravaged up and down the entire Pacific seaboard. (Nods at one group of paintings, which depict the bow of a ship lead by a tall, dark man with an eye patch) Take Black Patch Harry here. He was the most feared buccaneer in his day. He and his men were said to have robbed hundreds of ships in the late 1700s and early 1800s.

Mike: (Snorts) He looks like he's mostly hair.

Davy: So is Micky.

Mike: (Chuckles) Yeah. (Squints at Harry) There is somethin' of a resemblance. His hair's even a little curly.

Micky: Ha ha ha.

Peter: (As they walk around the room) Unfortunately, Harry's ship, the Sea Serpent, was eventually attacked by a huge Spanish armada numbering in the hundreds. The Sea Serpent had just come from robbing a fleet of Spanish merchant ships carrying what was said to be millions of dollars in jewels, gold, spices, and other booty from western Mexico to what would later be Los Angeles. Harry and his men did eventually manage to flee and hide in one of the many huge caves on the Los Angeles coast, but the Spanish caught up with them and blocked the entrance.

Mike: Pete, did you mention treasure?

Peter: (Nods) Yes. Supposedly, Harry and his men made a map to their hiding place before they were imprisoned in it. And after he made the map, he was said to have killed all of his men.

Mike: He killed all his men? Why?

Peter: According to lore, because he didn't want them possibly talking about the map or the location of the treasure.

Mike: (Frowns) Waaiiittt a minute, Pete. If he killed all his men, how did the story get out?

Peter: (Shrugs) I don't know. I'm just repeating what I've heard.

Micky: See, they don't usually give you the chance to ask that question.

Peter: You know, that treasure was never found. Neither was Harry's ship. Both are said to still be hidden in one of the caves in the southern California area. (Turns to Micky) Did Herman say why Lillith wanted us to be here?

Mike: You said somethin' 'bout her wantin' to thank us for helpin' Herman rescue her from Belavarg last month.

Micky: Right, that's exactly it.

Woman: (A young woman in a simple suit joins them) Gentlemen, Miss Staffer and Mr. Brandon are ready for you now.

(The four enter a small office that seems even smaller due to the boxes, crates, and large antiques overflowing in the room. There's all kinds of pirate antiques - chests, swords, guns, colorful jackets, eye patches, small ship parts, even some coins. Lillith Staffer sits at the huge old antique desk with a fairly young man, maybe a bit older than the Monkees.)

Lillith: (Smiles and shakes their hands) Hello, gentlemen. I'm glad to see you. I never did thank you properly for helping to get me away from that horrible Damien Lensher. Let me reassure you that he has since been fired, his office has been cleared, and I've hired someone equally worthy from the area to head Dark Star Records.

Mike: (Shrugs) Oh, it's nuthin', Miss Staffer. We save people's lives all the time. It's sort of a side business of ours.

Lillith: (Grins) Oh, that's right. You're the competition. Herman told me about your company. How is that coming, anyway?

Mike: (Sighs) We've gotten four videos with Herman and three more with other bands in the can since March, but there ain't much we can do without money, and the legal issues over the rights to our music is drainin' a lot of it.

Lillith: Then Mr. Brandon's suggestion should be a great deal of interest to you. Herman told me you've done things like this before.

Dr. Brandon: It's Dr., Miss Staffer. I got my PHd a few years ago. (He turns to the boys) It's nice to meet you. I seem to remember you were pretty popular on the airwaves a while back. I even saw a few of your specials.

Mike: (Waves it off) We had a few hits.

Dr. Brandon: Herman says he and Miss Staffer aren't the only ones you've helped. You all have something of a reputation as do-gooders and rescuers.

Mike: (Shrugs) We do what we can.

Dr. Brandon: What do you know about Black Patch Harry and his ship, the Sea Serpent?

Peter: No more than what we read in the museum.

Dr. Brandon: Can I trust you to keep what I show you next completely confidential? All of you?

Mike: My lips are sealed.

Peter: You have my word.

Dr. Brandon: And the other two?

Micky: Scout's honor!

Davy: Mick, you were NEVER a scout.

Dr. Brandon: Then I can show you this. It's really, really groovy. It was found in the 30s by a rather eccentric fellow named Clarence Jeffries. Jeffries said he had the key to finding Black Patch Harry's treasure. He and two local guides went into the rocks surrounding where the Captain's Cove restaurant is now. Only one came out alive, with the map and this doubloon. (Pulls out a doubloon with three holes bored into it) And that man was stark raving mad. No one ever found out what happened to Jeffries or the other man. (He pulls out a large, faded map, printed in old-fashioned script on parchment) And here's the map.

Mike: Wow. (He leans over) It's written in Spanish. (Squints) This is an older dialect, but I think I can make out most of it.

Dr. Brandon: You speak Spanish, Mr. Nesmith?

Mike: When you grow up in Texas, it ain't really an option.

Dr. Brandon: Then you can translate the map for the others.

Mike: What am I translatin'?

Peter: Looks something like a map of the California coast...

Dr. Brandon: (His grin turns into a smirk) That it is, Mr. Tork. It's Black Patch Harry's famous map. The doubloon is probably his, too - it's Spanish and from the right time period.

Mike: How did you get your hands on it?

Dr. Brandon: Actually, I just got it from a larger facility in San Diego. I was working for them, but Miss Staffer is a friend of my parents and one of the board of directors of this museum. We thought that you would lend a hand on a treasure hunt.

Mike: We don't know anythin' 'bout treasure huntin' an' archeology!

Dr. Brandon: (Sighs) Actually, part of the reason I want you to come along is as bodyguards. All kinds of loonies and legitimate treasure hunters have been seeking Black Patch Harry's lost ship and booty for centuries. I have a small team of researchers who will join us to do anything that involves the actual archeology...but they don't know much about fending off thieves and modern-day pirates. (Grins) Or, to put it less mildly, they're nice guys and they know their jobs well, but they're real nerds and probably couldn't fight off mouse, much less a thief.

Mike: Well, we don't have any work on the videos or on recordin' comin' up, an' I'm free.

Peter: I'm on vacation. School just finished for the summer.

Davy: I don't have anything else going on, either.

Micky: I just wanna join in.

Mike: My wife is in the midst of workin' on stories. She'll watch my kids.

Peter: (Nods) Valerie's up to her armpits with work.

Mike: Davy, Daph's gonna be in the studio tomorrow, right? I think I heard Em say she was gonna take care of Lizzie along with Katie and Robbie.

Davy: *nods* Right.

Mike: Ok, Dr. Brandon. We'll accept your offer.

Peter: (Nods) It's very generous.

Dr. Brandon: You'll be well-paid for your efforts, and will get a cut in the profits from any treasure besides.

Mike: Good. We need the money badly.

Dr. Brandon: (Shakes Mike's hand) So, we'll see you tomorrow, gentlemen?

Mike: (Nods) Yeah.

Dr. Brandon: (Hands them a list) These are the things you'll need for the hunt. I've crossed off anything that's specifically for the archaeologists but unnecessary for you.

Mike: (Nods) All right.

Peter: Thank you so much for this opportunity, Dr. Brandon. I hope the map really does lead us to the treasure.

Dr. Brandon: But even if we don't, we should have one heck of a time, huh guys?

Mike: (Chuckles) Yeah. (Turns to Lillith) Thanks again. Tell Herman we say "hi."

Lillith: After what you did for me a few months ago, I'm in your debt. It's the least I can do to help you, competition or not.

Peter: (As they head back into the main museum) Well, that turned out to be all right.

Mike: (Hands Micky the list) I don't care what they say out this shit bein' only for the nerds. See anythin' on here you wanna bring along, Mick?

Micky: *Grins* Yeah, I do.

Mike: Good. Bring 'em. An' we're gonna need some of the MonkeeLeague stuff, too.

Peter: I'm wondering why he's so worried about thieves, though.

Mike: If this treasure's as priceless as he claims, he'll be lucky to keep everyone and their grandmother away from it.

Peter: Maybe we ought to keep an eye on the newspapers, then. See if there's any antiquities have recently disappeared.

Mike: Micky, is Lauren still visitin' your mom and sisters with the kids?

Micky: Yeah, got the whole house to myself.

Mike: I'm surprised you didn't stay with them. Got sick of bein' teased by your sisters?

Micky: Are you kidding, man?

Mike: What, an' you ain't teasin' Coco about Jack?

Peter: I think they're adorable.

Micky: It's three versus one.

Mike: (Sighs) I just hope Lillith's right about the money. I ain't gonna lie to you boys. The company kitty is real low. We can't go any lower on the budget on these videos.

Peter: Valerie and I can lend you some money, but Val does have her own company to pay for, and I'm still paying off debts.

Mike: I told you, Pete. It's nice an' everythin', but we don't want your money. We want ideas to EARN money.

Peter: Well, I'm teaching, but I'm sure there are things the rest of you can do between videos.

Micky: I still wish you guys would let me hire those two guys to argue in the lobby all day. Even you said they're hilarious. We'd just have to ask for admission.

Mike: (Grins) I may end up considerin' it. They'd probably be better at that than they would in Herman's band.

Peter: They are pretty funny. I swear I saw them before when I lived in New York...

Davy: They definitely aren't much in the way of musicians.

Mike: I'm thinkin' 'bout seein' if we can find some other guys to back-up Herman an' maybe give those two somethin' else to do in the videos. They may just charge admission for those two yet.

Peter: Why don't we tell the wives who are here what we're up to, before they all start worrying about us?

Mike: Good idea. (Turns to Micky) Wanna come with me and give me moral support? Besides, Em just made Fudgy Chocolate Chip Brownies.

Micky: You said the magic words. Next time just mention the brownies, and I'll follow you anywhere.

Mike: No problem. You know Em. She loves to feed people. ;)

Peter: I would, but I need to talk to Val. (Turns to Davy) I can drop you off at the studio, if you want to talk to Daphne.

Davy: *Nods* Thanks, mate.

Peter: Anytime. (Nods at Mike) We'll meet at the Beach Cave tomorrow and gather our gear.

Mike: (Nods) Sure. I'll just call the Dr. and tell him to pick us up at Micky's house. It's the closest to the Cave.

Peter: Ok, guys. Let's go talk to the ladies. (They leave the the museum. The camera fades out on a wide shot of Black Patch Harry and the Sea Serpent.)