Well, let's do it! Everyone ready to rescue Peter and Valerie and find Chrissy?
Lauren: Yeah!
Mike: You'd better believe it, darlin'!
Micky: *from inside the plane* Yeah!
Davy: I sure am! (Looks in the plane) We could use your 'elp, you know, Mick!
*Suddenly, the Joes' rifles all disappear in a familiar dark blue light. Micky stands in the plane's doorway, grinning shakily.*
Micky: Hope I wasn't too late.
(The others turn slowly behind them as the Joes check around the air, surprised.)
Davy: (Grins) Micky! Wot took you so long, mate?
Mike: You ok, there, Mick? You still look a little green.
Micky: Still recharging, man. Displacing a plane really takes A LOT out of you. I barely had enough left to get rid of the rifles!
GI Joe 1: What in the HELL just happened?
GI Joe 2: My rifle was here a minute ago...
GI Joe Captain: Rifles don't just get up and walk away! There's something screwy goin' on!
GI Joe 2: (Points at the kids) THEY had something to do with it!
Davy: Yes and no...
Lauren: Uh oh. I think this is our cue to get outta here!
Mike: No, wait! I used to be in the Air Force. I know how to talk to these guys.
Micky: Go right ahead.
Mike: (Turns to the Joes) Look, privates, my army and I are NOT your enemy. Your enemy is Silas Barnaby, the man who stole your tank and two of our friends.
GI Joe Captain: Why should we believe you, long-haired weirdo?
Mike: (Mutters) I wish people would think of something else to call us than that. It's gotten REALLY old. (Out loud) Because WE haven't shot at you or stolen your tank!
GI Joe 3: He's right you know, Captain. The other guy took off with a piece of government property.
Kimberly: I thought it was Hasbro's property. (Daphne elbows her.)
Lauren: It's someone ELSE'S property, at any rate.
Mike: Besides, Captain, as you can plainly see, WE have amunition at the moment. YOU don't.
GI Joe 3: I don't think they'll hurt us worse than hidin' our rifles somewhere.
Mike: We need to go after Barnaby, the man who stole your tank and a couple of members of your troop. My troop has captured many, many evildoers in fierce combat. We would be more than happy to add our firepower to yours.
Emma: Valerie, the girl Barnaby took with him, has no desire to marry him!
Daphne: Her true love is the blond boy your co-members kidnapped!
GI Joe Captain: (Frowns) Now, I may be a boy's action figure, but I know somethin' about love, and takin' a girl who loves someone else ain't it.
Mike: You're gonna help us, right?
GI Joe 1: (Nods at the group) They have the plane!
GI Joe 2: And some sort of magic!
GI Joe Captain: There's no such thing as magic, private! Get your head out of the storybook section! (To the kids) My entire troop is at your disposal.
Mike: Good. We're gonna need to find more soldiers on display, and more loose weapons.
Davy: And could you 'elp us get the missle off the plane? (Indicates the suction cup still attached to the plane's wing)
GI Joe Captain: (Salutes them) Yes sir, right away! (The remaining Joes easily pull the suction cup off of the plane.)
Lauren: Thanks, guys!
GI Joe 2: You're welcome, ma'am. Thank YOU for telling us what a jerk that guy is.
GI Joe Captain: We should make it up to you for helping that Barnaby asshole abduct the young lady and your friend.
Maxine: Let's see what other toys are open and armed.
GI Joe Captain: There's another Joe display, and a couple of displays of cowboy and Indian plastic toys, and some plastic soldiers, and tin collectable toy soldiers.
Emma: The Barbies could help, too.
Mike: We're gonna organize an army. (To the GI Joe Captain) Are there any more vehicles out?
GI Joe Captain: The fashion dolls have some cars out, and I think there might be a model tank in the arts and crafts toys section that could be fitted with missles.
Mike: It's gonna have to do.
Davy: Maybe we could split up again.
Lauren: Cover more ground that way.
Emma: Right. Some of us will go in the plane, and some of us will take a tank and lead the other ground vehicles.
Lauren: I'll take a ground vehicle, thank you.
Micky: Me too.
Davy: (Indicates Micky) 'E's NOT allowed to take a tank.
Micky: Wha...
Lauren: What about if I'm with him?
Daphne: You'll figure out a way to make love in it.
Lauren and Micky: Hey!
Davy: I think it would be rathah nice, luv. (Daphne smacks him on the back of the head.)
Mike: I'm takin' the plane. I'm the only pilot.
Emma: I'm going with him.
Davy: I'll go wit' Mick. Make sure 'e don't cause any more trouble than we're already in. ;)
Micky: Ha ha.
Daphne: And I'm with Davy, naturally.
Maxine: I'll go with the ground folks. The air folks can take Kimberly and Jen.
Jenny: *whoops* All right! :D
Kimberly: (Bows) That's me, your martial artist in the sky!
GI Joe 1: Us ground folks will recruit the rest of the loose toys in the store. The air troops will search for this Barnaby, our men, and your friends.
Mike: We'll contact the rest of you when we find them.
Davy: I could probably retrieve the jeep. It almost looks like a military vehicle, anyway.
Maxine: We'll join you. Beats Barbie cars!
Daphne: Oh, I don't know, Maxie. I've always wanted a pink car.
(Maxine just rolls her eyes.)
Micky: *drops down from the plane* I want a tank! I promise I won't blow up any soda machines.
Lauren: I'm all for it.
(Davy, Mike, and Emma chuckle.)
Daphne: Soda machines?
Micky: What? :P
Davy: Long story, luv.
GI Joe Captain: (Tosses Mike four rifles loaded with suction cup missles and a few more missles) Here you go, sir! You'll need these!
Davy: (Tosses Mike parachutes) And you'll probably need THESE, too.
Mike: Ok, cute, Dave. (To Micky and the GI Joe Captain) Ok, folks, we'll contact you when we find Barnaby. You amass an army. That's an order from your Captain!
Micky: *salutes, careful not to hit himself* Yessir! ;)
Emma: (Rolls her eyes as Jenny and Kimberly climb on the plane) Oh, come on, honey! (Pulls Mike in)
Mike: (From inside the cockpit; Emma settles next to him, while Kimberly and Jenny spread out in back) Ok, folks, stand back!
(Everyone moves as the tiny propellers start whirling. The plane finally takes off, skirting the high celing before it disappears from sight.)
Micky: Okay, where's my tank? ;)
GI Joe Captain: (Slaps Micky on the shoulder) Right this way, back where we were having our skirmishes. I like the way you think, private.
Davy: That scahs me.
Micky: *almost falls over; grins* Thanks!
Lauren: I'm going with you, Mick. I don't completely trust you with heavy artillery.
*Micky sticks his tongue out.*
GI Joe 2: A woman in a tank? That's highly irregular, ma'am!
Lauren: 'Scuse me?
GI Joe Captain: She can help out if she wants, private!
Micky: She's with ME!
Daphne: (Gets in the action figure's face) I'll bet she's got more mechanical skill in her little pinky than all of you toys put together!
Maxine: Daaaaappphhh...
Lauren: *chuckles* Thank you, Daph.
GI Joe Captain: Enough of this! Let's move 'em out! (Waves to the group) FOR-WARRRD MARCH!
(The group slog back to the area where the Joes were having their "skirmishes." A tank sits next to more motorcycles. Suction-Cup "missles" are burried part-way in the snow.)
GI Joe 1: We were just getting started when the snow began. (Grins) Don't know where it came from, but it sure made our skirmishes more interesting!
Micky: *grins widely at the sight of the tank* Oh MAN!
Davy: (To the Joes) Are you really SURE lettin' 'im in a tank is a good idea?
GI Joe 2: If he knows how to handle the artiliery, what harm could it do?
Lauren: I'll keep an eye on him, Dave.
(Micky slips and scurries through the heavy snow, finally climbing into the tank's top.)
Lauren: Wait up, Mick! *runs after him*
Davy: 'Old on. I'm going to find the jeep. (He runs around the corner. There's a slight blue light from behind it, and after a few minutes, the jeep Davy drove earlier careens around the corner.)
Maxine: (Sighs, shaking her head) More Christmas magic?
Daphne: (Nods) More Christmas magic.
(The Joes gather missles, digging some out of the deep snow.)
GI Joe 3: Where did this snow COME from, anyway? We're indoors and in California!
Micky: *pauses before dropping into the tank* Uhh... *shakes his head* you wouldn't believe it if we told you.
Maxine: I don't believe ANY of this!
GI Joe Captain: Ok, everyone! Let's go get some more recruits! We want THEM to join our cause!
Micky: Darn right! *drops into the tank*
(Maxine and Daphne put the suction cup missles in the back of the jeep, then get in themselves. The Joes all get on motorcycles.)
Lauren: *climbs up* I can't believe I'm getting into a tank. *drops inside*
Maxine: I can't believe I'm the size of a Barbie doll and sitting in a Matchbox jeep while a bunch of GI Joes ride around us!
Daphne: Let's just put it this way, Maxie. Stranger things have happened around us.
GI Joe Captain: Enough talking in the ranks, privates! Everyone move out!
(They do, the tank bringing up the rear.)
(Our next romp is to the tune of an instrumental version of "Jingle Bells." The tank, motorcycles, and jeep ride through the snow, stopping to talk to groups of loose toys on the way. Davy admires a group of Barbies playing in the snow...but Daphne pulls him back in and smacks him in the back of the head. Maxine chuckles. ;) )
(The Joes chat up more of their own kind. Another tank and more motorcycles filled with Joes roar out and join them.)
*Micky talks to a couple of "paratroopers," plastic troops with handkerchief parachutes on their backs. He's getting frustrated. Lauren steps in and says a few words. The paratroopers nod. Micky sticks his tongue out at Lauren.*
*Lauren is seen waving Micky along, guiding his tank out of a parallel parking spot.*
(Davy gets on stilts to chat with some green plastic army figures in a plastic tank.)
(Maxine is surrounded by besotted green plastic paratroopers who kiss her hand, offer her fabric flowers, and try to dance with her.)
*The tank pulls up alongside a Coke truck. Micky hops out, sliding down the side of the tank and goes over to the driver. He haggles with the driver and walks away with two Coke bottles in hand.*
(Daphne throws a snowball at Davy's back. It misses...and hits the GI Joe Captain. He grins and throws one back at her.)
(The GI Joe Captain takes Maxine from the paratroopers and dances away with her.)
*Micky lets Lauren try driving the tank. She makes it do a couple of figure eights. Micky scratches his head.*
(Davy sees a car alongside the jeep and tries to outrun it, but the car speeds away. When he looks up, the car turns out to be a Barbie corvette filled with Kens, Christies, and Francies.)
(The GI Joes stop by displays of old-fashioned toy soldiers. They chat them up, inspect their old-fashioned weapons, show them their rifles. The largest toy soldier in the pointy, narrow hat nods his head as best he can.)
(Davy grins at Micky and points at a group of soldiers bearing drums and horns. He gets fuzzy toy solider hats for himself and the girls. Davy's is almost as big as he is.)
*Micky runs over to the group and chats them up. They follow after him as he returns to where the tank is parked.*
(The music ends as Micky runs to the tank. Action figure soldiers load their guns. Cowboys and Indians whoop and ride brightly-colored plastic horses. GI Joes adjust their cycles and tanks.)
Cowboy: Ok, pardners, what's all this here business about a girl and a boy and a nasty evil bad guy?
Drum Corps Toy Soldier: I thought we were going to a party!
Micky: The party comes AFTER we make the rescue.
(The Drum Corps soldier lets out a whoop and a riff on his drum.)
Micky: I like him. ;)
Lauren: You would, Mick.
Drum Corps Lead Soldier: I KNEW he'd been hittin' the oil again.
GI Joe Captain: Ok, folks. We've recruited all of you to save a young woman and a hip...young man from certain anhilation at the hands of one of the greatest enemies ever seen in this toy store!
Daphne: We're missing a little girl, too. She ran away when the enemy abducted her sister and her boyfriend and tried to abduct HER, too!
Maxine: She's a poor, helpless, motherless child! Who KNOWS what's happened to her, all alone in this cold and huge store?
Davy: I wouldn't exactly call Chrissy 'elpless, luv.
Maxine: Gets their sympathies.
Micky: Aw. ;)
GI Joe 3: (Sniffles) Poor kid...
Lauren: *nods* You got 'em.
Army Toy Soldier: That poor little girl... (bursts into tears. The toy soldier next to him hands him a handkerchief)
Toy Soldier: Get a hold of yourself! You'll rust yourself again!
(The other toy soldier blows his nose, far more loudly than one would think tin was able to.)
Micky: *whistles* Wow...
Daphne: Damn, he's GOOD.
Lauren: I'll say. Sounds like my dad.
Davy: Sounds like a bloomin' fog'orn!
Micky: I give him a 10.
Daphne: (Gets on the roof of the Jeep) The other two Barnaby's captured are in LOVE! Barnaby wishes for Valerie, who is very wealthy, to marry him. Her true soulmate is Peter, and he would destroy the unfortuante youth to take Valerie, whom he only wants for her money!
Davy: (Joins her on the roof) And not only that, but 'e plans to destroy a whole orphanage right at Christmastime! Them kids won't 'ave a place to live or the possibility of evah 'avin' a family and a real 'ome of their own!
Micky: And he's just plain MEAN!
Davy: Valerie's a right nice girl, and Petah is such a gentle soul, 'e'd cry if 'e 'urt bacteria!
Cowboy 2: Man, this guy sounds like a genuine human rattlesnake, light on the rattle, heavy on the snake!
Indian: He's a big jerk-off!
GI Joe On Motorcycle: Let's get this guy!
(A cry of "Fight! Fight" goes up from the motley assortment of toys.)
Micky: I love these guys. ;)
Davy: We ain't bad at inspririn' mutiny aftah all.
Lauren: At least we're weren't just muttering.
(As Davy and Daphne climb off the roof of the Jeep, there's the sound of feet crunching under snow. Almost every soldier toy there reach for their rifles; the toy soldiers hold up bayonets; the cowboys point pistols; the Indians aim their arrows. There's a long, wide shadow. The shadow is followed by Chrissy, who looks at the assemblage of various toys with weapons in surprise.)
Chrissy: Yikes! (Puts up her hands) Please, don't shoot! I don't have a gun!
Toy Soldier: It's just a kid!
Micky: Hold your fire!
Lauren: Chrissy!
Indian: Small lady, what are you doing here?
Maxine: She's the little girl we were looking for!
Chrissy: I...I'm sorry I ran away again. I wanted to find Barnaby and save Valerie and Peter, but I couldn't find them anywhere. (Her eyes start to tear)
GI Joe Captain: Oh, man, poor kid's scared half to death!
Micky: It's okay, Chrissy! You tried to help.
Chrissy: (Shakes her head, even as tears fall) N...no, Mr. GI Joe, I'm ok. I just...my sister...she's like my mom, and he's got her... (the tears finally spill over, and she starts to sob)
Drum Corps Soldier: Oh, dear. (Two Drum Corps soldiers put their tin arms around the girl.)
Chrissy: (Sobs) I...I'm cold, and I'm wet, and I'm hungry, and I miss Valerie, and I wanna go home!
Drum Corps Soldier: There, there, young lady. Everything will be all right.
Cowboy: Does anyone have some vittles to give that little cowgirl?
Davy: (Shakes his head) I 'aven't eaten anythin' since the buffet.
(The girls shake their heads.)
Micky: All the cookies are gone.
Chrissy: I...I'll never see Valerie again...I'll never see my dad again...
Lauren: Don't SAY that!
Indian: Little one's had too much excitement.
GI Joe Captain: We're going to help your sister, young lady, just you wait and see!
Chrissy: I want to help her, but I'm scared. I don't know where they went.
Micky: We'll find her!
Davy: Everyone gets scahed once in a while, Chrissy.
GI Joe Captain: We're all going to find your sister now and get her back.
Chrissy: I just don't want her to marry that nasty Barnaby! She likes Peter! (Grins widely) I've seen them KISSING in the main parlor!
*Micky grins.*
Chrissy: Peter's so nice, and he plays such good music. He and Valerie and I all play the piano together when he visits! I'd like to have him for a brother. I've never had a brother, just a sister.
Drum Corps Soldier: That's a good young lady. Dry your eyes. Everything will be fine.
Chrissy: (Looks around, wide-eyed, at the group) Wow! This must be every toy in the store!
Micky: Well, MOST of them.
Drum Corps Soldier: We're going to have to bring her along. We can't leave her here alone.
Chrissy: Oh, please bring me! I want to help save Valerie and Peter!
Cowboy: Why, sure, little cowgirl! (Looks over his shoulder) Who's gonna have this little lady with them?
GI Joe Captain: (Grins at the girl) Have you ever ridden a motorcycle in the snow, young lady? :D
Chrissy: I've never ridden a motorcycle!
GI Joe Captain: Well, kid, you are in for a Christmas treat! (Gently lifts the still-sniffling girl onto the motorcycle, in front of him)
Davy: Maybe you'd bettah call Mike and see if 'e's 'ad any luck findin' Barnaby, Mick.
Maxine: Tell him we have Chrissy. She's ok, just a little scared.
Micky: *nods* Right! *pulls his communicator out of his wallet*
(Micky pushes a few buttons on the communicator, and we hear the sound of Mike's voice.)
Mike: Hey, Mick. Got our army?
Micky: Better believe it! We found Chrissy, too. She's okay, just a bit shaken. Any luck finding Barnaby?
Mike: We think we saw him...or at least the tank...by the models, art supplies, and educational toys. (Grins) You of all people should know where THAT is, Mick.
Micky: I know VERY well where that is, Air Raider.
Emma: (also in the communicator) You found Chrissy? Great! I was worried about her!
Micky: Yeah. Actually, she found us.
Mike: We're gonna swoop down for a closer look. You might want to sign off. The noises from the propeller might be too much for your delicate stomach, Mad Scientist! (Sound of chuckling and someone being smacked over the head. ;) )
Micky: *makes a face* That wasn't what was wrong, Air-Head. See you guys later. *closes the communicator*
Lauren: Sore spot? ;)
Davy: They found Barnaby?
Chrissy: Are Valerie and Peter ok?
Micky: He said they thought they saw him, but they definitely saw the tank. Don't know about Val and Pete.
Chrissy: (Softly) I hope they're ok.
Lauren: Us too.
Head Toy Soldier: (Stiffly lifts his bayonett) Ok, everyone, march out!
Micky: To the tank!
Lauren: *salutes* Yessir, Mick!
(We cut from a long tracking shot of the motley crowd of kids and old and new action toys on the move around the corner to the air. Mike and Emma sit in the front of the plane together, Emma in the co-pilot's seat. Jenny and Kimberly's noses are almost literally pressed to the plastic windows. Mike and Emma close their communicators.)
Jenny: I love this view!
Kimberly: We're supposed to be on the lookout, not admiring the view!
Jenny: Can't I do both?
Mike: (Over his shoulder, to the others) Ok, ladies, Mick and the rest of the gang apparently managed to round up some kind of army.
Jenny: "Some kind?"
Emma: (Grins) Sounds like they got every action figure and weapon-toting toy that isn't in a box.
Jenny: All right!
Emma: And they found Chrissy. (Sighs) I feel really bad for her. Valerie and her dad are the only family she has. This must really scare her.
Kimberly: I know I'd be scared.
Mike: We're gonna swoop down on that tank. Unless some of the other GI Joes are wandering around the store, I think that's our Barnaby.
(Mike does so, pulling the plane as close to the ground as he dares.)
Jenny: In other words, put our tray tables in their most upright and locked position!
Emma: Whoa!
*Kimberly shakes her head.*
Jenny: Ho-ly geez!
(The tank is, indeed, moving towards a shelf of arts-and-crafts and science equipment. Valerie is still in the tank with Barnaby, who has his arm around her. A very frightened Peter is between the two GI Joes on a motorcycle. Barnaby turns the tank on them as they stop at the shelf. He hands Valerie over to one of the GI Joes and turns the suction cup "missles" on the plane.)
Mike: Oh man, he's gonna try to shoot us down again! (Grits his teeth) Hang tight, girls! We're gonna have to do some fancy flyin' to avoid these!
Kimberly: Go for it!
(Barnaby shoots several "missles." Mike manages to dodge every single one, until Barnaby finally runs out of suction cups. He jumps out of the tank and climbs the shelf. Valerie, Peter, and the two GI Joes are already half-way up.)
Mike: (Growls) That BASTARD! (To the girls) I'm gonna land this thing in that empty spot between the crayons and the colored pencils. Hold on, this could be a little bumpy!
Jenny: We're hanging!
Emma: (Clutches her seat so hard, her knuckles turn white) HARD!
Kimberly: Feel like I'm on the Tilt-O-Whirl!
(The plane decends just as Barnaby is runing towards the art supplies, dragging Valerie with him. The two GI Joes hold Peter's arms. She struggles; he whimpers. The plane bounces and runs into some boxes of crayons before finally skidding to a stop.)
Emma: (Moans) Oh man. Are we alive?
Mike: Come on, honey. It wasn't THAT bad!
Emma: YOUR insides didn't land somewhere in the board game eisle!
Jenny: Now I know what maracas feel like. *groans*
(Mike opens the hatch. All four tumble out as best they can. Mike and the girls get in front of Barnaby and Valerie, though the GIs and Peter are nowhere to be seen.)
Barnaby: Get out of my way, boy!
Mike: You're through, Barnaby! Let her and Peter go!
Valerie: (Struggles) Tell me what you're going to do to Peter!
Mike: (Low growl) What did you DO with him?
Barnaby: My boys are taking care of your friend even as we speak.
Jenny: I don't like the way he said that.
Peter: (From behind them) MIIIIIIIIIIICCCCEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Mike: Peter! (Barnaby pulls Valerie along, revealing the two GI Joes securing Peter to an artist's easel.) Let him go! He's tricked you!
Barnaby: Pay no attention to the tall boy! Just get the scissors, like I said!
Kimberly: Scissors?
(The GI Joes pull down a pair of scissors hanging on a hook with other pairs. Barnaby and the GI Joes pull the cover off. All three manage to lift the scissors and hold them over Peter. Peter gulps hard.)
Valerie: (Screams) NO! NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Jenny: Holy...
Mike: You damn asshole!
Barnaby: They're not as sharp as I'd like, being children's scissors, but they could still do some damage to your precious little flower child.
Mike: (Closes his eyes without thinking - his broadsword appears) Free him this instant, Barnaby! (Emma gives Mike a look. He shouldn't have done that around Barnaby!)
*Jenny and Kimberly's eyes widen.*
Barnaby: (Unimpressed) I can't imagine a skinny hipster would know how to use that.
Peter: (Grins) Michael! (To Barnaby) He really CAN use it, and well! He beat the Devil with it!
Barnaby: (Rolls his eyes) I'm not going to ask what all of you have been ingesting. (leaves the scissors with the GI Joes) So, you're a swordsman, boy?
Emma: Honey, be careful!
Mike: It's ok, Em. I know what I'm doin'. (Turns back to Barnaby) Yeah, I'm a swordsman, Barnaby. Been workin' on it. Call it a useful hobby.
Barnaby: (pulls a sword out of his cane) Why don't you show me how you handle that, Skinny?
Mike: Would love to, Barnaby. (The two circle each other before finally meeting head-on.)
Jenny: Figures that would be a sword.
Emma: (Steps back with the other girls) Oh god...
(The GI Joes push the scissors closer to Peter.)
Peter: (Wails) Ohhhh! Michael, watch out! Help!
Kimberly: *points at the Joes* Think we oughta step in?
Emma: Come on!
Jenny: Yeah!
(The four girls run to the Joes. Kimberly knocks one down with a well-placed karate chop. Emma and Jenny take the scissors and put them in the snow as Valerie trips the other one and frees Peter.)
(Mike and Barnaby fight all over the place, jumping on boxes of crayons and colored pencils, tins of fine pens and pastels, and cartons of paper. Barnaby knocks the sword out of Mike's hand. He jumps down from the crayon box they were on and goes after it, but Barnaby leaps down, too. The other three girls run to Mike as the GI Joes come to and Peter and Valerie embrace.)
Barnaby: (Puts his hand on the sword as Mike reaches for it) Looking for this, long-haired brat?
(There's a blue light from behind Barnaby and Mike. An arrow whizzes by Barnaby's head.)
Barnaby: (Turns where the arrow came from) What was THAT?
Jenny: An arrow. ;)
Peter: (He and Valerie stand on the easel. He holds his bow and arrow, aiming it straight at Barnaby) I know how to use this too, Barnaby. Leave Valerie and Mike alone!
Barnaby: (keeps his foot on the broadsword and his own sword trained at Mike) It would seem we're at an impasse, hippie boy. I'm not about to let your friend's sword go, and you won't let ME go.
Kimberly: Great. :P
Peter: We can figure this out without violence, Barnaby. I'd rather do it that way. (Holds up the bow as the Joes come running rather clumsily in the snow with the scissors.) If I have to do it the other way, though (holds his chin high) I will.
Mike: Pete...
(Suddenly, there's the sound of a familiar tune being played by a marching band.)
Barnaby: What the.... (He moves his foot just long enough for Mike to grab his sword and duck out of the way of the Joes, who run at him clumsily with the scissors. Peter and the girls run to the edge of the shelf.)
Jenny: Now THAT'S a diversion.
Emma: Look! (Points at the first spots of red and gold making their way around the corner to the arts and crafts.)
Peter: Wow! They got the whole army!
Jenny: And a marching band!
(Appropriately, the classic instrumental "The March of the Toy Soldiers" herolds the coming of Micky's oddball "army." It's a parade parody, complete with Indians and Cowboys waving on horseback, the marching band, the GI Joes on their motorcycles, Davy and the girls in the jeep, and Micky waving wildly to no one in particular in the tank.)
Peter: Oh man, Micky's in a tank!
Valerie: That's it, the world isn't safe anymore.
Jenny: Aw man! ;)
Kimberly: We're in deep trouble.
(Mike, too, has been distracted, long enough for Barnaby to flee as he watches the arrival of the "army.")
Emma: (Points to Barnaby) After him!
Jenny: Not again!
Mike: (Indicates the Joes, who are still running around with the impliments) Look out, clumsy action figures at 12 o'clock!
Peter: (Scratches his head) But it's only 10:35!
Kimberly: Doesn't matter! Yikes!
(Valerie pulls him out of the way, shaking her head. The Joes thrust the scissors at the vanishing group, miss, and get the points caught in the shelves instead. They end up vaulting over the scissors and off the shelf. They land safely but rather embarrissingly in the arms of two surprised tin soldiers.)
Mike: Guess their mama never taught them not to run with scissors.
Jenny: They learned the hard way!
Emma: Follow that Barnaby! (The entire group slides down the shelving, Emma hesitantly, as Barnaby reaches the bottom.)
(He takes off towards the other end of the science department.)
Davy: Theah 'e is! Everyone aftah 'im!
Micky: Follow that miser!
(They start shooting at Barnaby as the music rises, crashing and flashing. Barnaby ducks a few marbles and suction cups before being knocked down by another suction cup. The others get to the bottom as the "army" swarms around Barnaby.)
Micky: We gotcha covered!
Valerie: Chrissy! (Runs through the just-stopped crowd to her sister, who bounces off of the motorcycle the moment she sees her.)
Chrissy: Valerie! I missed you! (Wraps her arms tightly around her sister. Peter joins the duo, giving both a huge hug.)
Valerie: Are you ok, honey?
Peter: Did they do anything to you?
Chrissy: I'm ok, Valerie. I'm just a little hungry, and REALLY cold.
(When Barnaby finally stands, he finds he has a sword, arrows, a tank gun, rifles, bayonets, drumsticks, and pistols all pointed right in his direction. He steps back.)
Barnaby: Now surely, children, we can talk this over...
Micky: *considers* Nahhhhh!!
GI Joe Captain: No dice, pal.
Mike: Only place you're goin' is with us.
Toy Soldier Captain: We could have you put in solitary for kidnapping those two!
Barnaby: Now, surely, you wouldn't HURT me...
Mike: They can't. They're just plastic and vinyl. (Holds his sword level with Barnaby's chin) I can, though.
Barnaby: None of you have any right to be doing what your doing to me...(frowns)...and the toys shouldn't be able to do it at all. (Makes a face) Christmas magic! Bah! I'll bet I could just wave my hand and make all these silly playthings revert to what they originally were!
Chrissy: Oh no! (Holds Valerie and Peter tighter, but they just grin.)
Peter: Don't worry, Chrissy. He can't hurt us THAT way, you'll see!
Barnaby: Toys, return to normal! (Waves his hand; nothing happens. He frowns) Toys, revert! (Still nothing)
Mike: You ain't got the Christmas magic, pal.
Micky: *snorts* Oh, this is GOOD!
Barnaby: But why can YOU do it and not me?
Peter: (Grins) Christmas magic, Barnaby. It's very special.
(Two of the tin soldiers take Barnaby's arms.)
Micky: It requires the Christmas spirit!
Emma: Which you have none of.
(The toy soldiers lead Barnaby away.)
Chrissy: (Turns to Valerie) Can we go home now?
Valerie: Soon, honey. Soon.