Ok, everyone, ready to split up and find Chrissy and Barnaby?
Mike: Let's get that jerk! :p
Micky: Yeah!
Lauren: You bet!
Davy: Poor kid, I 'ope she's all right.
Peter: If she isn't, Mr. Cartwright is going to be REALLY mad!
Valerie: I'm more worried about what Barnaby will do to her if he gets his hands on her before we do, not to mention she has NO idea what she's doing. (Sighs sadly) Oh, Chris...
Daphne: Don't worry, we'll find her!
(The red sportscar comes around the bend first. The BatMobile drives off in the opposite direction.)
Mike: Ok, everyone (points at a trail of cookie crumbs along the floor) follow those crumbs!
Emma: Val, you know your sister best. Where is the most likely place she'd be?
Valerie: I'd say she's in the doll aisle.
Mike: Don't forget, we've gotta find ol' Barnaby, too. God only KNOWS where that asshole's hiding. I can't BELIEVE he'd demolish an orphanage right around Christmas!
Emma: And I thought Scrooge only existed in "A Christmas Carol."
Peter: Maybe we could talk to him. There has to be a reason he doesn't like kids.
Mike: Some folks just don't, Pete.
Jenny: I had that feeling just looking at him.
Mike: (Nods at Valerie) Right, Val. We're goin' to the doll eisle. (Streaks down the back hallway and into an eisle filled with pastel and neon-colored boxes. Dolls stand in displays and behind plastic cellophane windows. The children's dolls wear elaborate ruffled dresses, their hair in curls. The older, Barbie-esque fashion dolls wear "mod" mini-skirts and psychadelic clothing. The baby dolls lay drowsily in plastic cribs. Stuffed animals line the next eisle.)
Emma: (Grins widely) Oh man, do I feel like a kid again!
Mike: Talk about "plastic fantastic."
Emma: (Elbows him) You don't see ME making fun of GI Joe!
Kimberly: But look at the clothes!
Emma: The Barbies and Kens dress better than we do! :p
Mike: Of course. They're dressed by a factory.
Jenny: They're supposed to look really good.
Kimberly: (Points downward) Look! (The trail of crumbs stop by a shelf filled with Barbie, Skipper, and similar dolls.)
Mike: (Makes a face) Figures.
Peter: I wonder if they even have little guitars and pianos?
Mike: We ain't here to play music with anything, Pete. We're here to find Chrissy, remember?
Peter: Maybe we should just ask the dolls!
Jenny: How do you figure we do that?
Emma: (Looks at Valerie with a grin) I have an idea.
Valerie: *grins* I know that look. ;)
Emma: (leans over and whispers to Valerie) Why don't we make them come to life, so we can ask them? Or better yet, we'll make ALL the toys come to life! We're supposed to have those superior imagination powers, right?
Valerie: Darn right! Let's do it!
(The group climbs out of the cars. Emma and Valerie wander over to a quiet, dark place between a group of Barbies and Midges.)
Emma: Ok, Val. I guess the best way to do it would be to close our eyes and think "toys come to life!"
Valerie: *nods* I guess so. Let's try it.
(The two young women close their eyes. There's nothing for a minute or two...but suddenly, almost every shelf in the store is enveloped by a blue light. The first thing the girls hear when they open their eyes is a very perky teenaged voice.)
Perky Voice: Hi! Um...hey, what happened?
(The girls turn slowly, to see that the Barbies and Christies - African-American Barbies - can now move on their own, speak, and make facial expressions.)
Christie: Hey chicks, how do we get outta here?
Emma: I don't think you do, until you get bought by a kid...
Christie: Rats! :p
Valerie: Sorry!
Barbie: (Squeakier-voiced than Christie) Hi! You guys don't look like dolls! What are you doing here?
Emma: We're looking for an older man and a little girl.
Christie: A Skipper? They're up top, on the third shelf.
Valerie: Have you seen either?
Emma: No, a REAL older man in a black suit, and a REAL little girl in a green dress.
Christie 2: (Raises her hand) Hey, there, I don't know how you humans got short, but I think I saw a human kid, or at least an auburn Skipper that moves. Didn't know they made those. (Points upwards) She went about two shelves up, dropping cookies all over the place.
Barbie: She should get one of those cute sweeper things that come with the Barbie set across the eisle!
Valerie: That's her!
Emma: Thanks, ladies! I hope you ALL get purchased for some nice little girls for Christmas! (She and Valerie re-join the others, who chat with Kens and blonde Barbies.)
Peter: (To a brunette Ken) Hey, can you play an instrument?
Brunette Ken: Not unless it comes with an accessories kit.
Mike: How on EARTH...(looks at the girls and shakes his head)...ok, WHY on Earth.
Emma: I'll tell you later, honey.
Blonde Barbie 1: Hi! Wanna play dress-up?
Kimberly: We can't, and you can't, either. I doubt management would be thrilled if we got you out of your box without buying you first.
Valerie: And right now we've got to find my sister.
Blonde Ken: I think we saw a kid around. She kinda looked like a Skipper, but not quite. She went two shelves up.
Blonde Barbie 2: I was WONDERING how a Skipper got out of the box!
Blonde Ken: I thought she was one of the ones on the display!
Blonde Barbie 3: There's a bunch of dolls on a display on shelf three. She might have gone to see them.
Valerie: We'll check there.
Mike: Right. (Looks up...and up) One of the bad things about this shrinking buisness is we can no longer reach high places. How do we get UP there?
Peter: Think "up?"
Jenny: Or find a ladder.
Mike: Hey! (Runs to the side of the shelf - there's a series of large grooves in the shelf) Maybe we could climb these.
Emma: Wouldn't that be kind of dangerous?
Jenny: Mountain climbing! *grins*
Mike: Aw, darlin', where's your sense of adventure?
Emma: Somewhere in eisle three with my sense of humor.
Kimberly: It won't be so bad. Climbing is fun, and anyway, we have to find that kid, before Barnaby does.
Valerie: Please, Emma!
Mike: Aw, come on, darlin'. We'll go last, and I'll help you.
Emma: Well, all right...
(Kimberly starts first, followed by Jenny, Valerie, Peter, Emma, and finally Mike.)
Peter: (Looks down...and quickly turns to the others, gulping) Just don't look down!
Emma: (Mutters) That floor is awfully hard...
Mike: Don't think about it so much, darlin'.
Valerie: Just keep moving!
Kimberly: Try it in heels sometime. I should have swiped sneakers from the Barbies!
Jenny: Complain, complain, complain.
(Everyone finally makes it to the third shelf. A large group of Barbies, Kens, Skippers, Christies, and Francies are dressed in wintery clothing and "skate" on a smooth mirror that looks like ice. Two Kens, a Christie, and a Barbie gear up musical instruments in a snow scene made of cotton and tinsel. A miniature "Christmas Tree," complete with presents, is set up by a small bench. The group looks around in surprise at this scene. More dolls not in boxes are joining the crowd, some in Victorian-esque costumes, other in very, very 60s "mod" clothing.)
Mike: Oh man, we hit a Barbie doll love-in!
Christie 1: (The African-American doll excutes a perfect turn on the "ice" and indicates the travelers) Hey gang, look what's here!
Truly Scrumptions: (The doll in the pink ruffled Victorian outfit beams) Visitors! Are you here for our skating party?
Mike: We're just passin' through.
Peter: Wow, groovy party!
Francie 1: (British Cockney accent) Right-oh, chaps! We're celebratin' the 'olidays.
Brunette Ken 1: Hey, wanna hear some jams?
Mike: But you can't really play!
Brunette Barbie: Why not?
Kimberly: Well, you COULDN'T play...
Brunette Ken 2: Wanna hear us play?
Mike: I'm a little old for playin' with toys.
Jenny: It couldn't hurt.
Francie 2: You're NEVAH too old for playin' wit' toys!
Christie 2: Damn straight, girlfriend!
Skipper 1: (Tugs at the Brunette Barbie) Can you play? I wanna hear a Christmas song!
Truly Scrumptious: Per'aps our travelahs should pick the tune?
Peter: Oooh! :D
Kimberly: Well, "Toyland" seems appropriate.
Brunette Ken 2: I've heard that one on the intercom in the store. I think we could manage it.
Christie 2: Let's hit it, folks! A one and a two and a...
(The dolls lead off into "Toyland," which turns into a skating display and a dance. Peter picks up a "fake" guitar and is delighted to find that it's quite real in his hands. Emma and Mike hold hands on the bench while the girls dance and watch the skaters goof around. Skippers chase each other; Barbies and Kens and Christies and African-American Kens hold hands.)
Skipper 1: (Tugs at Valerie as the song ends) Would you like a cookie? Another Skipper with auburn hair gave me this and another one, too! You can have it! (Hands Valerie the slighty smooshed cookie.)
Brunette Barbie: (Runs up to Skipper) Where did you get human food?
Skipper 1: From the Skipper who came by a while ago.
Valerie: *looks at the cookie; eyes widen* You wouldn't happen to know which way she went, would you?
Mike: Oh man. That WASN'T a Skipper!
Skipper: She went THAT way! (Points toward the boxes of Barbie and other dolls.) She wanted to find some old guy named Barnaby who tried to hurt her sister!
Valerie: *groans* Great.
Peter: We have to find her!
Skipper: She kind of LOOKED like a Skipper!
Christie 2: If she wasn't a Skipper, what WAS she?
Peter: She's a human, like us!
Francie 3: If you're 'umans, 'ow did you get 'ere?
Jenny: We're the scaled-down models. ;)
Mike: Yeah. They're makin' them smaller now. Saves on space.
Francie: Maybe some of us ought to go wit' yah. Be guides, so to speak.
Brunette Ken 1: (Nods and puts down his guitar) You don't know this store as well as we do.
Francie 3: I'll go, mates. I've been on 'alf the displays in the doll eisle, and I know a very cooperative GI Joe in eisle eight.
(Francie skates to the cotton "snow" and takes off her plastic skates.)
Francie: Come on, then. Follow me. (She takes off into the dark recesses of the shelf.)
Mike: Follow that psychadelic coat!
(The others go after Francie's bright costume.)
Francie: Now, since your sistah seemed to git along well wit' the Skippahs, it makes sense that she'd probably go to where they are.
Valerie: *nods* Okay.
Peter: I hope we can find her! Everyone seems to think she's a Skipper!
Mike: She DOES sort of look like them!
Jenny: I'll say!
Kimberly: Good thing the store is closed, or an employee might try to put her in a Skipper box!
(They finally find themselves amid smaller pink boxes of little girls with auburn, blonde, and brown hair. Chrissy is animatedly chatting with a brunette Skipper in a short, red dress.)
Peter: Chrissy! (He and Valerie run to her. She turns around, smiling.)
Valerie: Chrissy!
Chrissy: Oh, hi, guys! (Makes a face) I couldn't find Barnaby! He got away!
Mike: Do you know, little cowgirl, you could have gotten KILLED running off by yourself?
Chrissy: I saw him go this way, and you guys were busy, so...
Valerie: You still could've said something.
Peter: Chrissy, you have to tell us when you want to go somewhere. We were really worried.
Brunette Skipper: What's going on? Who are they?
Chrissy: (Points at Valerie) That's my sister Valerie (points to Peter), he's her boyfriend, Peter, (indicates the others) and those are their friends. They play in a rock band!
Brunette Skipper: (Beams) That's SOOO groovy!
Mike: We have to get you along, little lady, and find the others.
Jenny: Before they do any harm.
Chrissy: Hey, that's a Francie! (To the Francie, beaming) You have the GROOVIEST clothes! :D
Francie: I should, litt'l luv. I'm supposed to be a British fashion model!
Brunette Skipper: The Francies get all the cool clothes. Us Skippers are jealous!
Chrissy: (To the Skipper) Thanks a lot! I hope a nice little girl finds you under your tree this year!
Brunette Skipper: Me too! The only thing any toy wants is to be loved.
Jenny: *sniffs* Aw...
Francie: You said it, 'oney.
Mike: Hey, how do we get outta here?
Francie: Easiest way should be to just walk to the end of the shelf and climb down. I've nevah done it meself, but I imagine that's 'ow it's done.
Brunette Skipper: I wish I could, but I can't leave the box.
Valerie: We came up that way.
Mike: I can't think of any other way to get down.
Jenny: That won't hurt, that is.
Chrissy: Cool! We get to climb down?
Emma: Unfortuantly, the only OTHER way I can think of is too suspect.
Mike: Well, let's get going. (The group pass by more dolls. Some call out to them; some just watch them. Mike and Emma stop to admire a rather familiar-looking set towards the end of the shelf.) Ain't I seen these guys before?
Emma: (Winks) The one in the hat is rather handsome.
Peter: I know the blonde one.
Chrissy: Come on, guys! We have to find Mr. Barnaby! I saw him go up here, but he disappeared!
Valerie: Trying to escape, more than likely.
Chrissy: Do you think Dad would agree to build a supermarket on the Orphanage? Dad's not always nice, but he's not evil!
Mike: No, I don't.
Valerie: Certainly not, Chrissy.
Kimberly: Wouldn't put it past that old Scrooge to tear the place down, anyway. He DOES own it.
Emma: I hope we can find him. Malls are ok, but I'd miss great old stores like this one.
Mike: Man, this would have been a palace to me as a kid. I never had any money, so I didn't go in places like this often.
Chrissy: No money? How come?
Mike: (Makes a face) My mom and I lived by ourselves, and we were really poor. Mom had a bunch of secretary jobs, and I tried to help, too.
Chrissy: But you're just a kid!
Mike: I either helped, or we didn't eat.
Valerie: Chrissy...
Chrissy: I didn't know kids had to WORK. I mean, younger kids, not big kids like you guys.
Peter: (Takes Chrissy's shoulders) Some of them do, Chris. Not every kid is as lucky as you. Some don't even have a mom, like Mike did. (Sighs) And others don't get along as well with their parents as you do with your dad and sister.
Chrissy: I don't have a mom. She died.
Mike: I don't have a dad. He up and left me and Mom.
Peter: My friend Davy lost his mom, too, and Micky lost his dad.
Chrissy: Valerie's always sorta been like my mom. (Turns to Valerie) That's why I didn't like it when Barnaby was mean to you, Val, or to Peter. You're both really nice.
Valerie: *smiles* Thank you, Chrissy.
Chrissy: (Points across the way, to a tallish doll in an orange minidress, with very long, braided auburn hair and a pleasant, smiling face) Hey, there's a doll that has my name! She looks more like Valerie, though. She even has the same hair!
(The Crissy doll waves.)
Peter: Valerie's hair doesn't grow that fast, though!
Valerie: *chuckles* Thankfully!
Mike: (They finally reach a wall - the hallway is beyond) Come on, guys. Let's get outta here and find Barnaby, before he finds US.
Peter: Maybe we'd better call the others and tell them we've found Chris, too.
Kimberly: How are we going to do THAT?
Valerie: Communicators. *indicates her watch*
Mike: Right, Val. (Flips open his watch to reveal his communicator and speaks into it) Micky, come in! We've found Chrissy among the Barbies, but no luck with Barnaby. You guys had any luck?
Kimberly: (Eyes widen) That is beyond groovy! Where did you get those?
Micky: I made 'em! *chuckles*
Peter: (Grins) Long story. Val, Em, and I have them, too.
Chrissy: Cool! Can I have one?
Valerie: Sorry, sweetie. They're not toys.
Chrissy: Awwwwww!
Micky: We haven't seen ol' Barnaby.
Mike: Where are you guys, anyway?
Micky: *grins* I'll give you one guess, Mike.
Mike: Your wife LET you go back to the chemistry sets?
Micky: Hey, I was driving! *makes a face* Where did you guys end up? Still with the dolls?
Mike: Yeah. We're about to head out and join you guys. Where do you want us to meet you, the science junk?
Micky: Of course! *gets smacked* Ow! Babe, don't do that while I'm on the communicator! (Grumbles) And it isn't junk, Mike!
Mike: We'll be there in about twenty minutes.
Emma: Mike, it takes me that long to get down!
Mike: Twenty-five minutes.
(Emma smacks HIM over the head.)
Micky: *chuckles* We'll be here.
Mike: See you in a while. (Closes the communicator) Ok folks, everyone head down! Micky and the others are in the Science and Educational eisle. We're going to join them.
Emma: (Gulps) All right, honey.
Chrissy: (Looks down with a grin) GROOVY! :D
Jenny: All right!
Kimberly: Woo hoo, let's go! (Starts down the shelving.)
Valerie: I can think of better ways to spend the evening and worse ways to get down.
Emma: (Grumbles) I can think of better ways to get down...
Mike: We can't do THAT way in THIS crowd. :p
Peter: (Takes Valerie's hand as the others are starting to climb down) Valerie, after we get out of here and take Chrissy home, would you...would you like...
Valerie: Yes, Peter?
Peter: ...To go riding with me and look at all the Christmas lights? It would be really romantic, and I'm sure I could get the MonkeeMobile from Mike, or we could go in your car.
Valerie: *smiles* I'd love to, Peter. We could take my car.
Peter: (Takes her hand) Groovy! (Sighs) Valerie, I love you so much.
Valerie: I love you, Peter.
(Peter gives her a gentle kiss on the lips before heading down the shelf, his blush visable even in the reletive darkness. Valerie sighs and joins him.)
(The camera watches the group decend from an angle, then we cut to the other group of Daphne, Davy, Micky, Lauren, and Maxine. They look for Barnaby amid the beakers and tubes of various chemistry sets, though Micky is more interested in the sets than Barnaby.)
Davy: God, 'e could be anywheah!
Daphne: There's sure plenty of places for him to hide.
Micky: *not paying attention* Yeah... :D
Davy: (Elbows Micky) We're lookin' for Barnaby, mate, not ways for you to blow up the store.
Lauren: *glances at Micky; rolls her eyes* And plenty of places to jump out of the shadows and scare the tar out of us.
Micky: Huh? I'm not gonna blow up the store! You guys have so little faith in me!
Lauren: We base it on previous performance.
Davy: Ok, you won't blow up the store. You'll turn it green or somethin'.
Daphne: I've heard these stories. Micky, save playing Dr. Quartermass for when you're at home.
Micky: *leans one arm against a test tube, it slowly begins to tip over as he talks* I'll have you know it's been a long time since I've turned ANYTHING a different color!
Lauren: Uh, Mick...
Micky: *The tube tips farther* It's been a long time since anything's blown up that shouldn't have!
Lauren: Mick!
Davy: Micky...
Maxine: Maybe we'd better get out of the way.
Daphne: Yikes! Look out!
Micky: Wha... *the tube tips over, and he falls along with it, ending up face down on the shelf; the contents of the tube spill out on the shelf, away from Micky & the others* Oops.
Davy: (As he and the girls jump away) You idiot, Mick! Now look wot you did!
Micky: I didn't do it on purpose!
Maxine: Well, it can't be anything TOO bad, or they wouldn't have left it out.
Micky: *reaches out* Here...
Lauren: *grabs his hand* Don't TASTE it! You don't know where it's been!
Micky: *sticks his tongue out* I wasn't really gonna.
Davy: You could turn into a monstah or somethin'!
Micky: *sits up* Right. With ONE tube? Kinda doubt it, Dave.
Lauren: Let's not find out, okay Mick?
Daphne: Maybe we should clean it up.
Maxine: We'd need a mop from the doll eisle!
Lauren: I say Mick should worry about cleaning it up.
Micky: It was an accident!
Davy: If the night guards 'eard your "accident," they'll KNOW somethin's goin' on!
Daphne: What if the dogs sniff it out?
Micky: Oh, man... *sighs* Fine. Is there anything here I can use to clean it up?
Davy: (Whispers) 'Ow 'bout your mind?
Micky: Think it's okay?
Davy: The only one 'ere who we'd 'ave to explain somethin' to is Maxine...and we could distract 'er or you could suppress the light.
(The girls are wandering amid the tubes and the boxes, looking for Barnaby and trying to avoid the mess.)
Micky: Where's the fun in that?
Davy: You want to explain a light show to the guards, IF they even 'eah us?
Micky: *sighs* I'll do the best I can, Dave, but I'm not promising anything. Just make sure Maxine's looking somewhere else. Don't feel like having Mike breathing down my neck.
Davy: The girls all went be'ind the boxes. Can't see nothin' back theah. :)
Micky: Good. *stares at the spill; a somewhat muted dark blue light surrounds the entire spill. The tube moves upright, and the contents go back into it, like nothing happened* There. Just like new.
Davy: (As the girls return) Nice work, Mick. Just be more careful from now on.
Micky: Thanks. I was trying to be careful.
Maxine: (Eyes widen at the now-clean area) Boy, you guys did THAT fast!
Lauren: Mick's gotten VERY good at cleaning up messes.
Davy: 'E sure MAKES enough!
Micky: All right, all right...
(That's when a shadow slips by the group. Maxine turns around, frowning.)
Maxine: I thought I saw something.
Davy: Let's follow it!
Micky: Yeah!
(The kids chase after the shadow. A box almost goes toppling onto them. They just barely manage to get out of the way.)
Micky: Geez! That was a little too close for comfort!
Daphne: That asshole!
Maxine: He could have squashed us!
Davy: (Sees the black coat moving around some tubes) Theah 'e goes!
Lauren: After him! *points*
(They all chase after him once more, this time to the tune of "Run, Run, Rudolph." He's now quite visible as he runs amid the tubes. The girls try to block him, but he goes around them.)
*Micky runs around the tubes. He cuts along the end and glimpses the black coat. He makes a reach for it, but trips on an overturned tube.*
(Maxine tries to jump over one of the tubes, but runs into Daphne doing the same thing. They end up in a heap that Davy steps around.)
*Lauren moves to one of the corner tubes and waits. She spots him coming her way and pushes the tube, trying to topple it on him, but the tube doesn't budge.*
(Davy runs to help Lauren, quickly joined by the others. They knock over the tube right behind him. It doesn't hit him, but it DOES scare him enough to stop him for a moment. The kids finally run in front of him, blocking him.)
Davy: That's ENOUGH, Barnaby! You're coming with us!
Micky: And you're coming quietly!
Barnaby: (As the music fades) Why, what are you, my keepers?
Micky: I guess you could say that.
Barnaby: I could have all of you arrested, you know!
Davy: We could 'ave YOU bloody arrested for tryin' to kill us and your crooked deals to make that mall!
Barnaby: What do you know about deals, little boy? (Davy glares) Malls are the newest ways to shop! They're the wave of the future. The building the kids are in is old, anyway. They'll find another place.
Daphne: Now, at Christmas? Or even afterwards?
Micky: You seem so sure there's a place for them. *quirks an eyebrow*
Davy: It's not always so easy to find a 'ome, Barnaby, especially when you've got a lot of children wit' you.
Barnaby: We're in Los Angelas, one of the biggest cities in the United States! How hard could it be?
Daphne: Trust us, it's harder than you think.
Micky: If it was so EASY, then why are those kids still there as it is?
Barnaby: How should I know? I just own the building, not the business.
Daphne: (Temper rising) Is that all the kids are to you, a BUSINESS?!
Maxine: (Puts her hand on Daphne's shoulder) Daph, cool it.
Micky: I'm gonna hit him.
Davy: Get in line, Mick. I'm first.
Lauren: Mick, down, boy! *grabs his arm*
Barnaby: Why are all of you so worried anyway? Those kids mean nothing to you!
Davy: (Softly) Maybe some of us know wot it's like to lose parents.
Maxine: It's not fair to the kids that they can't find people who will love them!
Micky: Thos kids deserve a nice home as much as the next person. So their home's an orphanage. It's still a home!
Daphne: Or a decent place to stay until they do find parents!
Barnaby: (backs towards the chemistry set) This is all very interesting, but I have a deal to make and a young lady to court.
Davy: Maybe she ain't interested in you, did you evah considah that?
Daphne: (Boiling mad) You only want her for her money, anyway!
Micky: Don't you know the meaning of "no?" X-(
Barnaby: Not really. I'm also a little shaky on the words "existiential" and "cystograph."
Micky: Lemme at 'im!
Davy: You're through, Barnaby. You're comin' wit' us!
Daphne: No, I want him first! (Davy, Micky, and Daphne jump on him at once.)
Lauren: Guys!
Maxine: Good grief!
Barnaby: (Pries himself away from the kids. He now has a nice black eye and is rubbing his crotch) You damn little brats! I could have YOU arrested for attacking me!
Davy: It was self-defense!
Daphne: I hope you can never sit down again!
Micky: Yeah!
(There's more company as the others join them.)
Mike: Great, you found him!
Barnaby: Valerie, my darling girl! (Goes to her, but Davy and Micky block him. Peter takes her arm protectively, and Chrissy glares at him.)
Micky: Uh uh uh. *grins*
Mike: (Grins at Barnaby's face) Who gave him the shiner?
Emma: Whoever did it, nice work.
Davy: I ain't sure. We were ALL on top 'a 'im.
Micky: Kinda lost track once we dog-piled him.
Barnaby: This is preposterous!
Kimberly: So's what you want to do to those kids.
Micky: He knows the meaning of "preposterous" but not "existential."
Mike: Looks like we got here just in time.
Maxine: He tried to take off. The Sony Liston club (indicates Daphne, Davy, and Micky) jumped him.
Davy: Did rathah well, too.
Micky: I'm quite proud of our work.
Lauren: We thought it safer to just stay out of the way.
Mike: Ok, gang. Let's get out of here, before somethin' else happens.
Chrissy: Can we go back and play with the Barbies?
Valerie: No. We have to set them right again and go home.
Maxine: How DID all the toys come to life?
Davy: The toys are livin'?
Micky: Yeah?
(Emma and Valerie exchange looks.)
Kimberly: Good question. One minute, everything's normal, and the next, we're having a party with Francie, Barbie, Ken, Christie, and Truly Scrumptious.
Chrissy: And Skipper!
Lauren: *catches the looks Emma and Valerie exchange* Ahhh. *shrugs* Don't know.
Daphne: (Also sees the looks) Nope.
Chrissy: Real Christmas magic! :D
Peter: That's what it is?
Micky: Uh huh.
Mike: Um, yeah, Pete. It's just the holidays workin' their spell.
Barnaby: Could you all just move aside and let me get along to my work? I'm going to be very, very late!
Mike: That's the idea.
Davy: Grab 'im, Mick!
Micky: Yeah! You ain't goin' NO PLACE! *grabs hold off Barnaby; grins* Gotcha!
(Davy takes his other side.)
Mike: Maybe we ought to get out of here, before anything ELSE happens.
Lauren: Good idea.
Barnaby: Now, come on children, we could reason with each other...
Micky: Suuuure!
(The group pulls Barnaby back to the cars.)
Chrissy: I wish everyone could have gone to the Barbie dolls' party. They looked like they were having fun, and a Crissy doll waved at me!
Davy: Pahty?
Lauren: Groovy! :D
Emma: A bunch of the fashion-type dolls were set up to be having a skating party. There was even a band.
Peter: We got to play with them, and their instruments really worked! :D
Micky: Gosharooney!
Mike: Wish we had skates. They looked like they were havin' fun.
Chrissy: I shared my cookies with a Skipper doll!
Peter: I have cookies, too, and some candies. Who's hungry?
Micky: ME!
Lauren: Silly question.
Kimberly: I'll have some!
Daphne: Me too!
Davy: And me.
Lauren: Me, too, if there's any left by then.
Chrissy: Can I have some?
Valerie: You've had enough.
(Peter passes the cookies around. He even offers some to Barnaby, who takes them reluctantly.)
Mike: We'll put the cars back where they belong, then use a little more Christmas magic to put everything right and get us out of here.
Kimberly: I wish WE could have a skating party!
Emma: Kind of hard to do here unless you can get to an ice rink.
Lauren: Or even a snowball fight. *sighs* No snow, though.
Micky: Snow...
Davy: Wot do you 'ave percolatin' in that brain of yours, Mick?
Chrissy: I wish it could REALLY snow for Christmas! The only time I've ever seen snow is when I went on a skiing trip to Colorado with Daddy and Valerie.
Micky: Well, since we seem to have the Christmas magic working in our favor, who says we can't have a little snow.
Chrissy: Yeah! (Grins and jumps up and down)
Peter: (Also grins and jumps up and down) Could we do it? I miss having snow for Christmas! I grew up in snowy climates - Wisconsin, Connecticut, and Germany!
Micky: *grins* Everyone get ready!
*Lauren grins. She knows what's going to happen.*
Mike: Maybe we should dress for the occasion.
Emma: More Christmas magic! Us ladies can handle that!
Lauren: That's a cinch!
(Daphne, Valerie, Emma, and Lauren close their eyes. There's a soft blue light. Everyone now wears thick, warm winter clothing.)
Mike: (Wears his green wool hat with the buttons and heavy sheepskin jacket, along with matching green wool gloves trimmed with buttons and heavy boots) Not bad. (He pulls his sunglasses out of the coat and puts them on the hat.)
Lauren: *wears a heavy jean jacket, baseball cap, and stretch gloves with musical notes on them* Nice!
Emma: (Wears a red velvet cape trimmed with white fur, a white muff, and red and white velvet dress with red boots) Ooooh, like in Christmas cards!
Peter: (Wears his navy outfit from his segment of "As We Go Along" from "Head") Groovy!
Micky: *wears a fur-lined coat, the hood also has fur; grins* Everyone ready for the snow?
(The Abbies all wear similar fur-trimmed parkas and snowsuits. Daphne's is pink, Maxine's is light blue, Jenny's is mint green, and Kimberly's is pale yellow.)
Valerie: (Her green velvet gown is now covered by a heavy green cape with silk paisley lining and dark green boots with high heels) Yes!
Chrissy: (She also retains her dress, but now wears a dark green pea-coat, green boots with brown fur trim, and brown fur earmuffs) This is so cool! I feel like the Skipper dolls!
Micky: Comin' right up! *looks towards the ceiling and stares for a few moments; slowly at first, a few white flakes flutter down around the group; the snowfall steadies and picks up around them, causing piles of snow to accumulate*
Davy: (Navy pea-coat with earmuffs and heavy wool mittens) Smashin', Mick!
Micky: *grins as Lauren wraps her arms around him* I still got it!
Chrissy: SNOW! (Tugs at Valerie's cape) Look, Valerie, real snow! Like in Colorado! :D
Maxine: (Eyes are wide) I'm not going to ask how all this is happening.
Kimberly: (Winks) Who can explain Christmas Magic, Maxie?
Daphne: And WHY would you explain it?
Barnaby: (He now wears a dapper black cape over his black suit and cane and black boots, along with a black silk top hat) Oh, my GOD...
Jenny: Shall we call him Ebenezer?
Kimberly: (Grins) Sure!
Davy: You SURE you ain't outta "A Christmas Carol," mate? ;)
*Micky laughs.*
Barnaby: (Grumbles) Yes, I'm sure.
Mike: Well, what are you all starin' at? Let's head out!
Davy: Or SLIDE out! (Slips to the shelf side and slides down)
Emma: (Looks down) Oh, dear. Isn't that dangerous?
Kimberly: Naahh! Looks like fun! Just gotta hold on! (Slides down)
Chrissy: Can I go, Valerie?
Valerie: (sighs) Yes, but be careful. Hold on tight! Peter and I will go after you.
(Chrissy whoops with delight and slides down.)
*Micky situates himself at the top and pulls Lauren in front of him. He pushes off, and the two go hurtling down together.*
(Peter and Valerie also go together, followed by Daphne and Maxine.)
Mike: (Takes Emma in his arms as Jenny pushes Barnaby along) Come on, honey. I'll hold onto you.
Emma: Ok. (They slide down, followed by Jen and Barnaby)
*Jenny slides down on her stomach, whooping the entire way!.*
(Barnaby just groans. He and Jen are the last ones to hit the ground.)
Chrissy: Can we play in the snow? Please, Valerie? Dad won't miss us for TOO much longer!
Valerie: Well...
Mike: I GUESS we could.
Micky: *yells* SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!! :D
*Micky grabs up a handful of snow and launches it at Mike.*
(It hits Mike square in the face.)
Mike: HEY! (Grabs one and throws it at Mick.)
*Micky tries to move. It hits him in the shoulder.*
Chrissy: Yeah! (Throws a snowball at Valerie, which hits her in the chest.)
Valerie: (Grins wickedly) Don't forget, I'm an all-star athlete! (Aims at Chrissy; hits her in the chest)
Chrissy: Hey!
*Lauren grabs a handful and puts it down down the back of Micky's coat while he's trying to load up on his own snow.*
Micky: YIIII!!! *tries to shake the snow out*
(Peter picks up a snowball and throws it at Valerie; he misses by a mile and hits Barnaby.)
Barnaby: (Glares) Why you little...
Peter: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!
(Barnaby picks up his own ball as the others laugh at Micky and Lauren's antics.)
Emma: (Sees Barnaby) Guys, watch out!
(Barnaby throws, misses, and hits Lauren.)
Lauren: Huh?
Micky: Hey?! That does it. *grabs up a HUGE handful* Ready, aim, FIRE! *launches his snowball at Barnaby, hitting him in the face*
*Micky crows happy, waving his arms in the air. Lauren laughs, brushing the snow from herself.*
(Barnaby's throw begins another romp, an instrumental version of "Sleigh Ride.")
(Mike chases after Micky with another ball.)
*Micky scoops another handful and baits Mike, trying to turn the chase around.*
(Emma chases after Mike and Micky, throwing snowballs at BOTH of them.)
(Chrissy and Valerie throw balls at each other, but accidentally hit Peter, who just laughs.)
(Peter chases after both girls, and they pass the Abbies, who throw snowballs at each other.)
*Lauren picks up a handful and goes after Barnaby!*
(Barnaby runs towards the back hallway.)
*Lauren chases after, tossing snowballs at him.*
(Chrissy, Valerie, and Peter rolls balls to make a snowman instead.)
(Barnaby ducks into the next eisle, trying to elude the kids.)
*Lauren grabs up another handful and continues after Barnaby, grinning.*
(Mike pulls Emma down to the snow and kisses her.)
*Micky trips and lands in a huge snowpile, which he starts to dig out into a trench.*
(Davy digs a trench across from Mick's as the Abbies run past, still lobbing snowballs after each other. Lauren returns, a bit puzzled and with no Barnaby as the music ends.)
Peter: (To the boys) Hey, guys, we're making a snow Santa Claus! Wanna join us?
Micky: Little busy! *launches a snowball over to Davy's trench*
Davy: 'Ey! That calls for massive retaliation! (Throws two snowballs in quick succession as the Abbies once again run past.)
(Emma and Mike lay on the ground. Emma moves her arms and legs in the snow.)
Mike: Whatcha doin', honey?
Emma: I'm making snow angels. :)
Mike: (also does it) Kinda wet, but messy. ;)
Emma: (Pulls him up and indicates the angel-like prints in the snow, one taller and thinner than the other) See?
Micky: *peeks over the top as Lauren slides down into the trench* Oh, YEAH? *grins, then lobs a couple snowballs of his own*
*Lauren grabs up a couple snowballs and heaves them over at Davy.*
(Davy ducks down as the Abbies once more run past, all throwing balls at Maxine.)
Davy: (Calls to the girls) Could somebody 'elp me 'ere? I'm doin' all the work, and 'e's got 'elp!
Daphne: (Slides into the trench) Sergant Daphne Morgani reporting for duty, sir!
Micky: Gathering recruits, huh?
Davy: Well, you've got 'elp! It's only faih!
(The other three Abbies join Peter, Chrissy, and Valerie as they push the second and third balls on the snowman.)
Davy: Here's snow in youh eye, Mick! (Throws a ball hard)
Micky: Just checking, that's all! *gets hit square in the face; he falls over backwards, dramatically* He got me! Babe, I think I need mouth to mouth!
Lauren: *grins* Mick, I don't think you're gonna make it!
Micky: *sticks his tongue out* Funny! *puts together a couple more snowballs*
*Lauren starts launching the snowballs while Micky keeps making them.*
Davy: (Wiggles his eyebrows at Daphne) 'Ey, luv, would you do that for me?
Daphne: (Launches a few snowballs) No.
Davy: You wouldn't save me life?
Daphne: I'd have someone ELSE do it. Maybe Micky.
Micky: I HEARD THAT, AND THE ANSWER'S NO!
*Lauren laughs.*
(The snowman now wears a Santa hat and has markings that look like a coat. Two popsickle sticks make arms. Mike and Emma admire the snowman.)
Maxine: (As the others wander over to the snowball fight) You know, guys, it occurs to me that Barnaby's not here.
Peter: Has anybody seen him?
(Lots of heads shake negatively.)
Lauren: Umm...I kinda lost him.
Lauren: He was headed toward the back hallway the last I saw him.
Mike: Oh, man, we have to find him!
Emma: Again.
Maxine: I can see a pattern for this story.
Lauren: *shrugs* I tried.
Micky: S'alright, Babe.
Chrissy: Let's get him! We have plenty of snowballs now!
Micky: Snowball attack, round two!
Mike: Yeah, this time with a purpose.
Micky: Let's go after that weasel!
Davy: You bet!
Maxine: How are we going to get around now? We can't exactly use the cars in this!
Peter: Maybe we could find an airplane in the models and cars and trucks section!
Davy: And the Jeep should 'ave good enough tires to get ovah the snow.
Micky: We'll have to get something besides the BatMobile. The only thing it DOESN'T have is snow tires.
Mike: Where's the models section? Maybe we could all fit in a few planes.
Micky: Oh man, flying! *puts his arms out like he's steering*
Lauren: *makes a face* Oh God.
Mike: I kinda miss flyin'.
Emma: And he has his license, too!
Micky: Mike, teach me how to fly one!
*Lauren shakes her head and waves her arms.*
Mike: Today might not be the best day to do that. Maybe after Christmas. For now, just watch. :)
Micky: Aw... *pouts*
Davy: Well, come on! That blightah could be 'alfway across the store by now!
Maxine: No, he won't. He's just as slowed by the snow as we are. I doubt the limo or sportscar have snow tires.
Mike: Well, let's get a move-on!
Micky: Yessir, Captain Mike, sir! *salutes* smacks his forehead*
Davy: Don't 'urt yourself, mate.
Micky: Ha ha, Dave!
Emma: Where are we going to get a plane?
Mike: I saw a real nice model one hangin' up front.
Micky: Ooooh, let me get it, please!
Kimberly: I saw that one, too. It should be big enough to fit all of us.
Chrissy: How? It's too high for us, even when we're big!
Peter: (Grins) Christmas Magic, Chris.
Micky: Naturally! :D
Chrissy: Oooh! I'm so glad you guys know Christmas magic! It's so much fun! We'll get to see the whole store this way!
Valerie: It'll make it easier to find Barnaby, too.
Davy: (Leans over Daphne) I wondah wheah all the guards are?
Daphne: Probably went down stairs to figure out what's wrong with the spray system.
Micky: Everyone stand back. This could be a little tricky.
Lauren: *mutters* Since you've never displaced a PLANE before. *Micky elbows her*
Mike: Just be careful, Mick. Don't accidentally displace somethin' ELSE.
*Micky sticks his tongue out, then concentrates. A muted dark blue light appears in front of them. As it fades, it leaves behind the airplane.*
Micky: *opens his eyes and staggers a little, but he's grinning; mutters* That wiped me out!
Chrissy: Oooooooh! Now THAT'S Christmas magic!
Davy: (Puts a hand on Micky's shoulder) You ok, mate?
Lauren: *mutters* Just don't stagger TOO much. *wraps an arm around him*
Micky: Just figured out my limit.
Peter: (Also puts a hand on Micky's shoulder) Maybe we should get you a drink or something, Micky. Stop the plane at a water fountain. That really wore you out.
Micky: *nods lightly* Some water would be great.
Lauren: Just don't take a shower in the water fountain.
Peter: Time for more "Christmas Magic." (He picks up a pile of snow and stares at it. There's a red light, and the snow melts into water, which Peter pours into a cup-shaped piece of styrofoam.)
Chrissy: AWESOME!
Peter: (Hands the cup to Micky) Here you go!
Micky: *grins; takes the cup* Thanks, Big Peter! *gulps it down* That's better.
Mike: Ok, everyone ready to find Barnaby and save those kiddies?
Lauren: Yeah! :)
Chrissy: (Tugs on Peter's jacket now) Come on!
Peter: Ok, Chris, ok. I'm coming. :)
Davy: (Stops Micky) 'Ey, mate, are you gonna be ok? I know 'ow you feel 'bout 'eights.
(The others climb into the plane behind them.)
Micky: *makes a bit of a face* I hope so. Don't mind me if I fall asleep
Lauren: I hope I'LL be okay. I'm not exactly fond of heights, either.
Mike: Is everyone settled in back there?
Valerie: (Sits between Peter and Chrissy, who naturally has the window seat) Other than the seats are hard plastic and don't really have belts, yes, we're fine.
Chrissy: This is SO exciting! We're going to see the store like a bird would!
Micky: *with his eyes closed* Yup!
Peter: Don't be afraid, Mick! Just hang on!
Lauren: *unenthused* Yay.
Davy: (Reaches over and holds his friend's shoulder) I'm 'ere for you, Mick.
Emma: (Nods at Lauren from in front with Maxine and Kimberly) And I'm here for YOU, baby.
Micky: I just want the PLANE to be here for me.
Lauren: *small voice* Thank you.
Mike: Don't worry, I know what I'm doin'.
Micky: It ain't you I'm worried about.
(There's a roar of small engines, and the plane starts to move over the snow.)
Chrissy: What's wrong with Micky and Lauren?
Peter: They don't like heights, Chris.
Chrissy: Oh, they're gonna need the barf bags?
Valerie: Christina Ann Cartwright!
Micky: Maybe later.
Chrissy: Well, if they don't like heights...
(The plane finally takes off.)
Mike: YEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAWWWWWWW!
Emma: Someone's happy.
Mike: Darlin', there's almost nothin' I love more than bein' in the air.
Peter: This is groovy! (Looks over Chrissy's shoulder) Everything looks so small!
Lauren: *groans* I think my stomach's still on the ground.
Daphne: Do we even HAVE barf bags in here?
Mike: How should I know?
*Micky snores.*
Lauren: *gives Micky a wary look* Takes the average person 11 minutes to fall asleep, huh? HA! *groans* Ooooh, shouldn't've done that.
Mike: Ok, all those who can stand it, look around for somethin' small and black.
(Everyone looks out the windows, or leaning over to look out the windows, except for Micky and Lauren, who are trying to AVOID the windows.)
Jenny: Anyone got a magnifying glass?
Kimberly: I wish.
Emma: Honey, get closer.
Mike: Right, darlin'. (He does fly as close to the ground as he can get without riding on it)
Emma: Anyone see anything?
Valerie: Other than partying Barbies, no.
*Micky snores again.*
Davy: Micky don't see anythin'.
Chrissy: Oooh! Oooh! There's something!
(She points to a small, moving black figure as the plane turns the corner between the fashion dolls and the stuffed animals)
Emma: That's probably him. Honey, see if you can follow him.
Mike: Right. Hold on to your ski hats and mittens, gang, 'cause I'm gonna be doin' some fancy stuff here!
Lauren: Uh oh. *huddles into Micky, who snores again*
(Which leads us to a quick romp, "Carol of the Bells." The plane swoops and dives lightly as Barnaby tries to escape it. The plane chases Barnaby into the action figures eisle. Some of the GI Joes on display are having a mock-battle in the snow. Barnaby climbs into one of their tanks and drives off with it. The Joes chase him. He shoots at the plane with suction-cup "missles." Mike does his best to avoid them. One finally hits a wing, making it too heavy.)
Mike: Um, guys, I think we've gotta make an emergency landin' to get that darn missle off! (He lands the plane, which bumps slightly into the snow.)
Chrissy: (Grins at her sister) Can we do that again?
Lauren: *wearily* Say no.
Mike: We will, little cowgirl, as soon as we get that suction cup off and get Barnaby OUT of that tank.
Emma: (Looks at Lauren and Micky) Maybe we'd better not.
Davy: Time to abandon the plane, I'm afraid.
Mike: Aw man!
Peter: We'll find a car with snow tires for you, Mike!
Chrissy: Aw, do we have to?
Valerie: Yes, dear.
(Another suction cup "missle" rocks the side of the plane.)
Jenny: We're being attacked!
Peter: Maybe we could wave a white flag...
Mike: Man, what's WITH this guy? I'm gonna go talk to him. (Notes some of the GI Joes coming up behind Barnaby's tank, not looking happy) And it looks like we may have help.(Gets out) Look, pal, we come in peace. We ain't armed. All we want is for you to come with us.
Barnaby: And all I want is to leave this damned building with Miss Cartwright, before it somehow rains, blows, or hurricanes in here!
Chrissy: (From in the plane) Valerie won't go anywhere with you!
Valerie: (From in the plane) Hush, Chris! Don't make him angrier!
(Peter whimpers in the plane.)
GI Joe 1: (Indicates the tank) Sir, what in the HELL are you doing?
GI Joe 2: You are not authorized to use that vehicle!
Barnaby: I am only borrowing it and will return after I have gotten what I came for.
Mike: You'll have to get past ME first!
Lauren: You tell 'im, Mike!
Barnaby: THAT can be arranged! (Shoots a suction cup at Mike. It hits him dead center, holding almost his whole body to the side of the plane and rocking the plane)
Mike: (Spits) You...you... (launches some very nasty Spanish words)
Micky: *jolted awake* What the heck's goin' on?
Emma: (Jumps out of her seat) MIKE! NO!'
Barnaby: Who wants to go next?
GI Joe 3: Sir, that was not standard code!
Barnaby: I'll give you standard code, you mass of plastic and fabric! (Shoots the Joe - the suction cup knocks him into the snow. His friends go to help him. Others shoot smaller suction-cup missles at Barnaby's tank.)
Emma: Somebody help me get Mike out of there! (Runs out of the plane)
Maxine: Em!
Kimberly: What IS she doing? (Both girls run outside)
Valerie: No! There's only one way to stop this... (Goes outside)
Chrissy: Valerie! (She and Peter head outside)
Davy: (Shakes Micky) Mick, are you all right?
Micky: Whazzat? *looks around and groans* I fall asleep, and we're bein' shot at.
Davy: Come on, mate! We need your 'elp!
Micky: *motions to outside* Go, Dave, I'll be out as soon as I actually wake up.
(Davy hurries out, leaving Micky and Lauren alone in the plane. Daphne looks at Lauren and Micky momentarily, then joins Davy.)
Lauren: You wake up, Mick, I'm goin' to help. *heads outside, but stays near the door*
Valerie: Barnaby, what will it take for you to leave them alone?
Peter: All we want is for you to let the orphans have their home!
(Emma, Davy, and the other girls try to get the suction cup "missle" off of Mike, but it won't budge.)
Barnaby: I may just consider calling off the deal, on one condition.
Mike: (Narrows his eyes) What "condition?"
Barnaby: (Glares at Mike) You stay out of this! (Turns an oily smile to Valerie) If Miss Cartwright finally agrees to become my bride.
Valerie: (Steps back into Peter's arms, which he wraps tightly around her) No!
Chrissy: She'd NEVER marry you! You're mean and old and ugly!
Lauren: You tell 'im, Chrissy!
Barnaby: Of course, if Miss Cartwright DOESN'T agree to become my bride, I could destroy the orphan's home...and a few...ahem, OTHER...things.
Peter: (Sobs) No! Please!
Barnaby: (Calls to the Joes) Boys, I'll give you your tank back IF you help me with these children.
GI Joe 3: Enemy troops, sir?
Barnaby: Quite, except for the blond boy, the small girl, and the young lady in the cape. Bring those three to me. Destroy the rest.
Lauren: Uh oh...
Mike: NO! You jackass!
Chrissy: What's a jackass?
Valerie: I'll tell you later, Chris.
(Two Joes pull Valerie away from Peter. Two more take Peter in their arms. A third tries to grab for Chrissy, but she eludes him and runs off.)
Barnaby: Never mind the brat! We still have those two. Bring her to me. Keep him as collateral.
Peter: N...no!
Valerie: Don't hurt him!
Barnaby: Then you'll do what I say.
(Emma, Davy, and the others finally pry the suction cup off of Mike, who falls to the snow.)
Emma: Mike! Oh, baby... (hugs him hard)
Mike: I'm ok, darlin'. (Stands a little shakily and faces Barnaby) You let them go!
Barnaby: Only if you attend my wedding. (Nods at the Joes) Boys, you handle THAT crowd. I'll take Miss Cartwright to a place where she can consider my offer. ;)
(Two Joes push Valerie into the tank with Barnaby. He turns the tank around and drives out. Two more pull a whimpering Peter onto a heavy motorcycle with spiky tires. The rest aim their suction-cupped rifles dead at the other kids.)
Lauren: Oh, crap.
Mike: I think we're in a LOT of trouble.
Davy: Understatement of the yeah.