Speaking of Christmas...everyone ready for the benefit?

Mike: Let's rock the Concert Hall.

Peter: We have to bring in lots of toys for those poor kids!

Micky: YEAH! :D

Lauren: You bet! :)

Davy: I'm ready. :)

(It's a week after the Christmas Spectacular. The boys, Emma, and Lauren stand backstage, listening to the Westminster Abbies perform their set. Amber Stimpson is with them. The boys wear their red 8-button shirts and gray pants. The girls wear red shirts and gray trousers with holly wreaths. Amber's red and green dress is made of crinkly, sparkly material that catches the light from the footlights. Davy's near the curtain, listening to the girls' set.)

Mike: Will you come back over here, Dave? The girls are doin' just fine.

Davy: I only wanted to watch, Mike. It's not often I get to see Daph and the girls perform in a venue like this.

Micky: C'mon, Dave, just say that you wanna stare at Daphne.

Davy: Well, Mick, Daph IS a very good singah and dancah...

Mike: And you like lookin' at her jugs.

(Emma smacks Mike over the head as he chuckles.)

Lauren: You're not foolin' anyone, Davy. ;)

Mike: Well, they're almost done. We're gonna be on after Amber and the Three Agents sing a few songs in front of the curtain while we set up.

Peter: (City-lighting grin) This is so exciting, and we're doing such a wonderful thing for the kids.

Mike: And a gettin' a lot of publicity for us, too.

Micky: Yeah!

Mike: Beats babysittin' for our Christmas bread.

Micky: *grins* Like we have all that much bread to pay you with! *gets smacked in the head by Lauren*

Mike: Naahh, I was thinkin' of a couple of years ago, when we watched Melvin.

Davy: And ended up losin' most of our money, anyway.

Mike: Well, if you three weren't klutzes...

Davy: 'Ey, YOU'RE the one who 'it the bloody petrified tree!

Lauren: I made sure I was the one to go after the holly and mistletoe this year.

Emma: And I put the star on top of our tree.

Micky: How was I supposed to know? :P

Mike: Micky, holly and mistletoe don't look nothin' like poison ivy!

Peter: Aw, leave him alone. He's a chemist, not a botanist.

Micky: Thank you, Peter! So there! *sticks his tongue out*

(The girls' set ends at that point and the four Abbies hurry out. They wear sparkly dresses similar to Amber's. Daphne and Maxine wear red; Kimberly and Jenny wear green. All four are flushed but beaming.)

Daphne: (Hugs Davy) It was so groovy out there! :D

Kimberly: (Tosses her drumsticks in the air and catches them) We rocked! :D

Jenny: It's your turn now, Amber! Have fun!

Amber: Thanks! Gee, I'm kinda nervous!

Maxine: You'll be fine, sweetie. It's mostly kids and their parents out there. Have fun with it.

Amber: *nods* Okay! *waves and heads out on stage*

Kimberly: She's a good kid, Ambs. She has stage presence. Crowds eat her up.

Peter: Wow, do they spit out the bones?

(Maxine and Mike roll their eyes.)

*Micky laughs.*

Daphne: (Picks up Davy's tambourine) We'll help you get all of this out there.

(Stagehands start to help Micky and Lauren with the drum set.)

Mike: You guys ready? You know the routines?

Davy: (Grins) Yes, Papa Wolf.

Emma: (Takes the keyboard) Who will growl you into submission if you screw up!

Mike: That's right, darlin'.

Micky: *points to his head* It's only been drilled in here!

Peter: I could sing 'em in my sleep!

Davy: (Rolls his eyes) And 'e does!

Peter: (Makes a face) You talk in your sleep, Davy!

Lauren: *grins* Mick does, too. When he isn't snoring, that is. ;)

Micky: There's that snoring thing again.

Mike: Remind me to rent you a tape recorder for Christmas, Lauren. ;)

Lauren: Mental note taken.

Micky: Ha ha ha. :P

(The group laughs as they set up the instruments and take the Abbies' instruments offstage.)

Peter: This is going to be so much fun! We don't usually get to do such groovy stuff at Christmas, just club gigs and parties.

Mike: This could be even better than the concert we did here last year, after that whole thing with Glamour Productions.

Emma: Yeah, we're PREPARED for this one!

Micky: And perfection is tough to beat!

Mike: Ain't it?

Lauren: Oh brother. :P

Emma: Major ego alert! :p

Micky: Just pointing out the truth.

Mike: See? He don't lie unless he needs to.

Davy: Oh, good lord.

Lauren: Uh huh, sure. *shakes her head*

Micky: What?

Stagehand: Five minutes, folks!

Mike: (Tunes up his guitar) Everyone set?

Micky: *twirls his sticks* All set!

Peter: Let's play.

Stagehand: All set, folks!

Maxine: We'll be back here, cheering you on!

Daphne: (Gives Davy a quick kiss) Good luck!

(Davy turns as red as his shirt.)

Emma: Awww!

Mike: Ain't that cute?

(The curtain opens as the girls make their way offstage. Maxine finally grabs Jenny as it opens all the way.)

*Mike nods to Micky, who counts off with a drum riff, and the group goes into "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree."*

(Davy dances, moving around the stage. Peter's grin could light up the entire San Fernando Valley.)

*Lauren pounds away on her tambourine, moving all around the drumkit. Micky tries to keep an eye on her and almost falls off his stool.*

(As the song ends, Emma reaches up and gives Mike a kiss on the cheek. Mike, for once, smiles dreamily.)

Mike: (Talks into his microphone) Hello, Malibu Beach! Merry Christmas! You havin' a good holiday out there? (Delighted screams from the audience answer him back.)

Peter: Sure sounds like it, Mike.

Emma: Hey, honey, what are we doin' next?

Davy: Wot about somethin' from where I come from? I'd like to give them a taste of me old England. :)

Mike: Sure, kiddo. Go ahead.

(The Monkees launch "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." Davy sees Micky watching Lauren as she moves around the drum set and grins wickedly. Emma elbows Lauren and indicates Micky.)

*Lauren grins and moves even closer. Micky nearly drops one of the sticks, but Lauren saves it & crashes the cymbal in perfect timing. She hands the stick back and continues grinning.*

(Emma, Mike, and Peter laugh.)

Peter: (Takes the microphone) I hope you're all having a wonderful time out there, 'cause we sure are! And don't forget to donate an unwrapped toy to Woody's Toyland on Fourth and Palm in Malibu Beach. We need to make sure all the kids of the Starlight Home For Children have a happy holiday, too!

Mike: Speakin' of toys, let's turn the show over to our drummer, who will do a song about another drummer who helped a little kid.

Micky: *grins, a little evily towards Mike* Everyone ready for "The Little Drummer Boy?" *taps out a slow riff to start, then pounds like crazy*

Davy: (Mutters) You SURE this were a good idea, Mike?

Mike: It was a request from Lauren.

*Lauren stands off to the side, arms folded, watching. She smirks and starts pounding on her tambourine in tune with Micky's pounding on his drums. Micky grins and tries to make Lauren lose her rhythm.* ;) :P

Davy: (The song ends, and Micky is STILL pounding on the drums) Um, mate, you can stop now. The song is ovah.

Micky: *stops suddenly* Song go bye bye?

Lauren: Yes, the song is over! *grins*

*Micky pretends to cry, flopping over onto the drum.*

Davy: (Pats Micky's head) Theah, theah, mate. (To the audience) While Micky recovahs, I'll take the next numbah. (Leaves Micky at the drums, then heads up front) Now, you don't often get this down 'ere, but where I come from in Manchestah, it's probably 'appenin' as I speak. I'm talkin' about a white Christmas, just like in cahds and the movies.

(Davy launches into "White Christmas.")

*Lauren consoles Micky, or tries.*

Davy: (As he finishes) I think I'll turn the show ovah to me bandmates Mike, Emma, and Petah.

Mike: Well, Pete, I'm from Texas, and even though there's no snow, we still have our own traditions.

Peter: I grew up in Connecticut. LOTS of snow!

Emma: But no matter where you're from, we hope you can keep the spirit of giving with you all year.

*Lauren continues trying to console Micky.*

Peter: Don't worry, Micky! We're going to do one last song before we go.

Mike: We'll give you a drum solo. Just don't knock the concert hall down.

*Micky sits up again, grinning. Lauren rolls her eyes.*

Peter: Hey Micky, Davy, how about our song? (To the audience) We wrote this one ourselves.

Micky: Yeah!

Davy: Right, mates! Let's go! (All four boys launch into a rousing version of "Christmas Is My Time Of Year.")

(Emma grins at Mike, who grins back. Peter waves to Valerie in the audience.)

*Micky is beaming. Lauren returns it, once again pounding on her tambourine.*

Mike: Thanks very much folks, you've been a great audience. Have a nice Christmas.

(The curtain closes and the kids all start to unload their instruments.)

Peter: That was so much fun!

Mike: (Grins) Yeah, it was nice.

Emma: What a rush!

Micky: We've gotta do this again!

Daphne: Davy! (Runs to him and takes him in her arms) You guys were TERRIFIC! :D

Davy: (Grins) Thanks, luv!

Kimberly: (As the other Abbies and Amber join them) Yeah, good job there.

Maxine: That last song was really groovy.

Peter: Thanks, ladies!

Micky: Thank you! *grins*

(Valerie, her father, her sister, and another man come backstage. Valerie and Chrissy carry bouquets of roses.)

Valerie: (She and Chrissy both wear green velvet dresses, Chrissy's a bit shorter and lacier than Valerie's) Hi, guys! You were sensational! (Hands Peter a bouquet of red roses. Mike's are white, and Emma's are yellow with red edges.)

Emma: Oooh, these are soo pretty!

Chrissy: (Blushes - she is tall, slender, and auburn-haired, like a minature Valerie) Here you go, Mr. and Mrs. Dolenz, Mr. Jones. (Micky has dark red roses, Davy has yellow ones, and Lauren's are lavender-white.) You did really, really well! That was the first time I've ever heard you sing! Valerie and Peter...Mr. Tork...have told me so much about all of you!

Lauren: Ooooh, thank you!

Micky: *grins* Wow...

Davy: They smell so good! (Takes out one rose and hands it Daphne) This is for you, my sweet, to commend you on YOUR fine performance. :X

Daphne: (Blushes) Thank you!

Mr. Cartwright: I know a man who owns a hot house greenery in Bakersfield. (Nods at the man next to him, a tall, thin fellow. He wears a black suit and hat and carries a cane. He has slick gray hair and a thin mustache. He eyes Valerie with a big grin. Valerie steps closer to Peter and takes his hand.)

Man in Black: Why, Morgan, aren't you going to introduce me to your little friends?

Mr. Cartwright: (Nods) This is Silas Barnaby, the owner of the building that currently houses the Starlight Home for Children.

Barnaby: (Nods) Charmed to meet you all. You have such...unique...musical talents.

Mike: (Wary) Thanks, Mr. Barnaby.

Micky: Thank you. *mutters* I think.

Davy: (Whispers to Micky) There's somethin' bout this fellow I don't like. 'E reminds me of one of those vilians in the old silent movie serials.

Micky: *nods; whispers* Definitely.

Barnaby: (Takes Valerie's hand and kisses it) Miss Valerie, have I told you you're looking especially lovely tonight?

Valerie: (As Peter glares as well as he can) Um, yes, several times, Mr. Barnaby.

Chrissy: (Tugs her father's sleeve) Daddy, can we go to the party now?

Mr. Cartwright: Why, certainly, dear. (To the crowd) The show is almost over. I have to stay here, but maybe you could take my girls along to the party they're holding for the Starlight House at Woody's Toyland. There will be hot apple cider and eggnog and cookies and cake and candies.

Emma: Oooh, sounds like fun!

Micky: Sounds delicious!

Mike: I guess it goes without sayin' that you guys are gonna wanna go.

Davy: You bet!

Peter: (Holds Valerie's hand tighter) We'll get to see all the toys, if nothing else.

Valerie: And make our own donations.

Micky: What're we waitin' for?

Lauren: Down, boy.

(Everyone heads out to the parking lot but the girls, who go with Mr. Cartwright and Mr. Barnaby. Peter watches them sadly.)

Mike: First of all, let's get rid of the instruments. (Closes his eyes - they disappear)

Emma: There's something I don't like about that Barnaby fellow.

Peter: He keeps trying to hold Valerie's hand!

Mike: He's got SOMETHIN' for her, that's for sure.

Micky: Nothing good, either.

Daphne: We ought to keep an eye on him.

Maxine: You mean, like spying?

Kimberly: Oooh, James Bond stuff!

Mike: We'll all keep tabs on him at the party.

Emma: There's a lot more of us than there is of him. How hard could it be?

Lauren: Never ask that question.

Daphne: (Heads to the Abbies' van) That guy has to have something up his sleeve other than his sleeve.

Maxine: (As the other Abbies join her) Right, and we're gonna find out what.

Lauren: Even if it means Micky has to miss the food! *Micky glares at her; she shrugs*

Peter: I didn't like the way he looked at Valerie. It was sort of...evil. I wish I could have gotten close enough to him to read his aura.

Mike: We'll get you close enough to read it when we get there. (Climbs into the MonkeeMobile. Lauren, Micky, and Davy head over to Lauren's car.)

Micky: You're not really gonna make me miss the food, are ya, Babe?

Lauren: *opens the driver's side door* Only if absolutely necessary.

*All three climb into the car. Micky looks slightly worried.*

Mike: (Calls out to the crowd) Ok, everyone, let's beat the rest of the cast to Woody's, before the traffic gets bad.

(All three vehicles head out. We have a short driving montage to "Sleigh Ride," which ends on a shot of all four cars, including the Cartwrights', in the parking lot of Woody's Toyland, a two-story Art-Deco-ish store with a neon sign not unlike KLAC's.)

(Cut to inside Woody's Toyland. The main lobby near the doors are crowded with partygoers, shoppers, and people dropping off toys into huge, overflowing cardboard boxes. Garlands, tinsel, and ribbons are everywhere. A huge Christmas tree stands in the center of the store; it, too, overflows with toys. The kids enter at that point. Mike whistles.)

Mike: Man, this place is packed!

Emma: This place is ENORMOUS! I've never seen such a huge toy store!

Peter: (Beams) I'm glad everyone came to help the kids!

Maxine: Looks like they're more interested in doing shopping of their own.

Micky: *jaw drops* I am in Heaven! :D

Davy: Toys and food. We ain't NEVAH gonna get Mick outta 'ere!

Lauren: *groans* Great. :P

(Micky immediately runs to the tables laden with slices of cake and fruitcakes, plates of cookies, bowls of candy, potato chips, and pretzels, and cups of punch, eggnog, and apple cider. Peter runs to the toy eisles.)

Lauren: We lost two of 'em!

Mike: I can retrieve one. (Goes to Micky, who loads his plate, and takes him by the collar) Cool it, man. We're here on a mission, remember?

Davy: (He also takes a plate) But they're not 'ere yet, mate!

Micky: Just lemme load up my plate first!

Emma: (Sighs) I'll go after Pete. You keep an eye on the others.

(Emma makes her way through the crowd over to the toy eisles. The others load up their plates.)

Maxine: (She's closest to the door; she almost chokes on a cookie and Amber slaps her on the back) Oh, man. Guys, they're here!

(Barnaby enters, grinning at Valerie, who smiles wanly back. She turns her back on him and makes a face at Chrissy, who giggles. Mr. Cartwright also enters.)

Valerie: (Breaks away from Barnaby and joins the others) Hi, guys. (Makes a face) That man is a real pain. He won't leave me alone. He's one of Dad's business associates. He wants to sell him the plot of land where the Starlight Home's land is, but Dad's having a hard time buying it. It would mean demolishing the Starlight Home.

Chrissy: I don't like him. He's mean! He'll say something nice to Daddy, then turn around and yell at one of the grocery clerks behind Daddy's back.

Mike: Great, a masher AND a hypocrite. This guy's a real personality.

Valerie: Where's Peter?

Jenny: Went off in search of toys.

Lauren: Em went after him.

Mike: And I'm just as worried about HER. She'll probably get lost starin' at dolls or readin' books or somethin'.

(Emma finally pulls Peter back to the crowd.)

Peter: Aww, I just wanted to look at the teddy bears!

Emma: Pete, so did I, but we'll do it later when there AREN'T 7,000 kids surrounding them. (Grins) Hi, guys.

Peter: Valerie! (Takes her in his arms and hugs her hard)

Valerie: Hi, honey. (Indicates the food) Why don't we have some treats? Dad's grocery in Malibu Beach provided the spread. :)

Peter: (Nods) After we get some food, I want to read Barnaby's aura.

Valerie: Why on EARTH do you want to read Barnaby's aura, Peter?

Peter: I think he's evil, like Shelia. I'll bet his aura's dark.

Lauren: Better get the food while there's still some left. *grins at Micky, who's stuffing his face*

Mike: Which there may not be, if Micky keeps at it.

(Lots of people come and congradulate the Monkees and the Abbies on their performances at the show. Groups of children gather around the food, too, many looking very shy. Mr. Cartwright and Mr. Barnaby finally make their way back to the food tables, the latter obviously trying to persuade the former of something that doesn't interest him.)

Mike: Ok, guys. Let's move out of the way a little, so we can hear him but not be too obvious.

Kimberly: How about by the toy collection boxes?

Davy: Good suggestion. (Everyone moves but Peter, who stays a little closer.)

Mike: You pickin' up anything, Pete?

Peter: (Gulps, nods) Y..yeah. His aura is dark blue, not quite black. He...he wants to demolish the Starlight House and displace the kids.

Mike: I'll bet the only one in the universe who has a truly black aura now is Shelia.

Emma: HAD, honey. She's gone now, remember?

Mike: Um, yeah, sweetheart. (Whispers, to himself) I only wish.

*Micky elbows Mike.*

Mr. Cartwright: (Just barely audible over the din of the crowd) Look, Silas, I'm not about to be the one who displaces a bunch of kids, and during the holidays, too!

Barnaby: You HAVE been saying you want to expand into downtown Malibu Beach.

Mr. Cartwright: Displacing those kids would be displacing my own children, and it's not going to make me or Cartwright Groceries popular in the community.

Barnaby: They wouldn't be displaced! I'd find them a suitible building somewhere in the San Fernando Valley.

Mr. Cartwright: I still don't like the idea.

Peter: (To the gang) It's hard to tell without actually putting my hand on his shoulder, but Mr. Barnaby feels...mean. Petty. Uncaring.

Emma: Swell.

Mike: Man, all he cares about is getting those kids out.

Lauren: Wonderful.

Chrissy: He wouldn't REALLY turn those kids out their home, would he, Valerie?

Valerie: It sounds like he would, Chris.

Mike: There's gotta be something we can do to help these kids.

(Barnaby turns to the kids and sees Valerie. He smiles and once again takes her hand. His other hand is wrapped around a steaming cup of apple cider.)

Barnaby: Hello, my darling Valerie! Are you having a good time?

Valerie: (Quickly) Yes, quite.

Chrissy: No, she isn't! You're here!

Barnaby: (Now smiling nastily) Little girl, why don't you run along and play with all the pretty toys and leave me and your sister alone? This is no concern of yours.

Chrissy: She doesn't like you, so why don't you leave HER alone?

Barnaby: If you leave, I'll give you a nice little dolly.

Chrissy: I HAVE dolls! I want you to go away!

Barnaby: You little...

Peter: (Pushes Chrissy behind him) Hey, leave her alone!

Davy: Maybe you ought to listen to the kid.

Micky: Big man picking on a kid. *scoffs; folds his arms*

Mike: Yeah, man, go chew on a bone or somethin'.

Valerie: Please leave us, Mr. Barnaby.

Barnaby: Very well. I'll return later, when we have less of an audience.

(Mike elbows Micky and puts his foot in front of Barnaby, grinning.)

Mike: Let's show him some REAL fun.

Micky: *returns the grin* You bet!

(Barnaby trips over the boys' feet, splashing hot apple cider over his clothes. Davy and Daphne push a bunch of stuffed animals in front of him, and he ends up tangled in them. Everyone either laughs or helps Barnaby, who splutters and screams.)

Barnaby: Why you...those...those little WRETCHES! They TRIPPED me!

Mike: We did... (looks at the others) hey, Mick, did we trip him?

Micky: Us? Why, we were just standing here, minding our own business!

Kimberly: You really ought to watch where you're walking.

Emma: You just tripped over a bunch of stuffed animals!

Barnaby: (Makes a face) Not unless they ran out in front of me!

Peter: Didn't they do that?

Maxine: Must be those new electronic stuffed animals, the kind with moving parts.

Chrissy: Ooh, can I see?

Valerie: No.

Barnaby: You...you...I'll get even with you! (Gets in Mike's face) Especially you! I KNOW I saw you put your foot out deliberately.

Mike: (Smirks) Maybe you need to get your eyes checked, old man.

(Barnaby pushes away several people who try to help him and goes off grumping.)

Mike: (To the others) Now's our chance. Who wants to follow him and keep an eye on him?

Davy: A Christmas "Mission: Ridiculous!"

Peter: Valerie and I will go! Would anyone want to go with us?

Micky: I'm in! *grins at Lauren, who sticks her tongue out*

Valerie: If anything will get that jerk off my back, I'll do it. :p

Chrissy: What's a "Mission: Ridiculous?"

Maxine: Good question, Short Britches.

Mike: Our name for spy stuff.

Chrissy: Oooh, spy stuff, like James Bond!

Mike: Sort of, kiddo.

Emma: (Elbows Lauren) Hey, Laur, why don't you join the mission? You have the leather catsuit!

Lauren: *sighs* All right.

Chrissy: Valerie, can I go, too.

Valerie: Sorry, sweetie. This is grown-up stuff. The others will watch you.

Chrissy: Awww!

Mike: Don't worry, we'll take good care of her.

Valerie: (To the others) Let's find out what that jerk's up to.