Ok, everybody ready for this year's Christmas story?

Mike: Are we actually doing one this month?

Yes.

Peter: Count me out. I'm still working at the school.

Mike: Hey Mick, Davy, you guys ready to get to work?

Micky: Of course! This is my favorite time of year!

Davy: I'm ready.

*We open in a large, unusually quiet department store. A view of a clock reveal it to be 6:30.*

(Mike, Micky, and Davy all walk in. They wear shirts with a "Stainton's" logo sewed onto it. Mike carries a clipboard.)

Mike: (Yawns) Well, here we are, guys. It's Black Friday, first day of the shoppin' season.

Micky: *Grins* You forget, Mike, that I am the King of Black Friday. I was already out shopping earlier!

Davy: We've told you before, Mick, but I'm gonna tell you again: you're crazy.

Micky: Aw Dave, quit building me up!

Mike: Yeah. This is gettin' up way too early for me. I don't know how you do it.

Micky: I slept all day yesterday, and Mom's got the rug rats.

Davy: I bet Lauren appreciated that.

Micky: That's obvious. *turns to Mike* Okay, Mr. Clipboard, what're we up to?

Mike: (Looks at his clipboard) Well, this says we have to report to our manager for our first assignment.

Micky: Gee, Mike, you don't sound overly joyous about that.

Davy: Yeah, mate, you have the look of sucking on a lemon.

Micky: He does, doesn't he?

Mike: (Mutters) I didn't get the management job. I applied twice, practically begged, and I STILL didn't get it.

Micky: Let’s go report to Em. You can have more sour grapes later, Mike.

Mike: I ain't sour. I just wanna know what my wife has that I don't.

Micky: You aren't really looking for an answer to that, are you?

Mike: (Makes a face) No.

(They troop into an office. Emma and an older woman with short, gray hair stand side-by-side. Both wear shirts similar to the boys', but in red instead of white. Emma also has a clipboard.)

Emma: Ah, here's three of our newest workers now, Mrs. Stainton.

Mrs. Stainton: (Grins) I can see you're right. I'm sure they'll work out just fine, Mrs. Nesmith.

Micky: I can't wait for the doors to open!

Davy: What do you want us to do before the store opens?

Micky: We probably should make sure everything is in order before the store opens, right?

Davy: Makes sense to me.

Micky: Is that what you want us to do first, Mrs. Stainton?

Mrs. Stainton: (Nods) Yes. I want you to help the janitors and cleaning staff tidy up the store. Then Mrs. Nesmith will take all of you back to the stock room to pull out items for the new holiday displays. After that, you're to help with the crowds in the Appliance and Electronics Departments.

Micky: *Salutes* Will do, Mrs. S!

Davy: *Shakes his head at Micky* Did you have coffee, too?

Micky: *Nods* Yup!

Mike: Great. We'll never get you off the ceiling.

Emma: Micky, I would advise you to refrain from more than eleven cups of coffee before work in the morning from now on, please.

Micky: Hey, I only had five.

Emma: Well, please don't bounce all over the place. We don't need you flying around the fourth floor when you're needed on the first.

Mike: Aw, I can handle him, Em.

Emma: You're doing very well already.

(They head for the stock room, which is filled from top to bottom with boxes and crates. Two familiar faces are already there, mopping the floor.)

Emma: Hello, Mr. Mahoney and Mr. Jones.

Mike: You guys are the janitors?

Slip: *Splats his mop on the floor* We ain't the welcomin' committee.

Sach: Yeah! We got this job last week. We're takin' it durin' the holidays to make a little extra money, so we can chip in an' buy somethin' special for Millie for Christmas.

Emma: That's sweet of you guys, Sach. Millie's done so much for you this year.

Slip: Yeah, we owe her big. *splats his mop again*

Micky: You know, Slip, if you dumped over the whole bucket of water, you wouldn't be using as much as what you're splattering on the floor from the mop.

Mike: So, let's see what you've do...whoa! (Mike steps into the puddle of water that Slip's left on the floor and winds up on his rear, creating a small tidal wave.) Ok, who left the Pacific Ocean laying around?

Micky: *Grins* Told you!

Sach: (Tsks at Slip) Chiefy, what did I tell ya 'bout moppin'?

Slip: *Leans on his mop, frowning* What? I'm doin' it, ain't I?

Emma: I would advise you to use less water in the future, Slip. Do you do this at Millie's, too?

Slip: Yeah.

Sach: Yeah, an' then Mil usually says he's floodin' the place and tells him to work on bakin' in the kitchen while she finishes the cleanin'.

Slip: *Still frowning* I wouldn't be leavin' a lake behind if I'd got that management job.

Mike: You applied for it, too?

Emma: (Frowns) Enough, you two. Mrs. Stainton liked my application better. I haven't been getting as many freelance writing stories lately as I used to. I need this job.

*Slip grunts and splats his mop again.*

("Christmas Is My Time of Year" begins as the boys all pick up boxes. Emma directs them in doing so.)

(Mike makes sure to avoid Slip and his puddles as he moves left and right with an armful of boxes filled with Barbies.)

*Slip mutters as he continues mopping, using a small lake to clean the floor.*

(Emma hands Mike more boxes of Malibu Barbie dolls. She just keeps pulling them out and pulling them out...until she turns around and realizes that all she can see of her husband is a pair of long legs in khakis, cowboy boots, and pink doll boxes. She finally takes one box off the top, revealing dark hair and a pair of none-too-happy eyes. Emma directs him over to the section with the other toy boxes.)

(Sach is whistling...and not looking where he's going. Slip accidentally bumps him. He ends up in Slip's growing lake...but he sweeps his mop around and knocks Slip down with him.)

*Slip proceeds to wallop Sach over the head with his hat.*

(Mike taps Davy on the shoulder. Where's Micky? They need him to help with the boxes of sports equipment.)

*Davy points upward.*

(Mike looks up...and raises his eyebrow when he sees Micky waving from the rafters. He sighs. His wife is right about one thing. They definitely have to get Micky to cut back on coffee!)

(Sach tries to help Slip back on his feet, but he just slides down again and ends up in Slip's lap.)

*Slip shoves Sach off of him, then tries to get up. He slips and lands on Sach.*

(Sach grins and hugs him. Aw Chief, I didn't know you cared!)

*Slip belts Sach with his hat again.*

(Emma looks up...and sees Micky on the ceiling. She waves him down. Get down here! You're not a monkey!)

*Micky scratches his head. But I am a Monkee!*

(Emma just groans and points at the floor. Get down here!)

*Micky shrugs. Okay! He drops right into Mike's arms. Micky grins widely and kisses Mike's cheek.*

(Mike makes a face and drops him into Slip's puddle, right next to Slip and Sach.)

*Micky laughs and splashes Sach.*

(Sach splashes him back...ignoring Slip in the middle.)

*Slip's frown is growing deeper with each splash.*

Emma: (Sighs as the music ends) Ok, ok boys. Break it up. We're going to need you on the main floor. Remember, there are crazy Black Friday shoppers out there!

Mike: Thanks for scarin' me, Em.

Micky: *Stands* That was fun and refreshing.

Sach: It sure was, Mick! (Turns to Slip) Can you make another lake so we can do it again?

Slip: No. No. NO!

Sach: I guess not.

Emma: Why don't you two do the windows in the front lobby?

*Slip grunts as he snatches up his mop and pail, then heads out.*

Sach: Hey Chief, wait up! (He turns to Micky) We really have to do that again sometime.

Micky: You bet, Sach!

(Sach runs after Slip. Emma turns to the boys.)

Emma: Ok, gentlemen. Next, why don't you take some of those boxes over to the appliance department? You can help the customers and set up displays.

Mike: Ok, Em. (He turns to the other two) Micky, maybe you'd better get some clean clothes on, or at least a dry uniform shirt.

Micky: All right.

(Cut to the Appliance Department. We have rows of gleaming new TVs, dryers, washers, radios, record players, and smaller appliances like blenders and waffle irons. We also have a disaster area. People are grabbing things off the shelf randomly. Some fight over the last item. Others argue heatedly with managers and clerks.)

Mike: What in the HELL is goin' on?

Emma: Um...who wants to handle what?

Mike: (Looks at Micky) You two take the customers. I'll do the displays.

Micky: You should've gotten the management job. You know who the people-persons are.

Mike: I know I should have. I've been managin' you guys for years.

Mike: (Frowns as we hear a bell at the customer service desk; a very large woman in a house dress is standing in front of it, red-faced) And it looks like you already have a customer. Looks real happy, too.

Micky: Come on, Dave, let’s go smooth out the tides.

*Micky and Davy go over to the service desk.*

Micky: Good morning. How can I help you?

Lady: (Frowns; hands a flyer to him) I'd like to know whether you have more of those 15-inch Zenith Color TVs in stock. The clerk claims you're all out of them.

Micky: *Shakes his head* No, I'm afraid we're all out. I can give you a rain check. We're expecting more in a few days.

Lady: But the sale will be over by then! I told my Edgar he'd have that TV for Christmas this year!

Micky: I'm sorry, ma'am, but we had an unexpected number of people purchase them.

Lady: Are you sure you don't have them? I saw a woman walk out with a TV just ten minutes ago!

Micky: It was either the last one or a different model. I'm sorry, ma'am.

Lady: Look, kid, you don't know my Edgar. He likes his TV. I told him he could have one of those fancy new models that would let him see what the Thursday Mystery Movie looks like in color, so he can see that all the blood is really red.

Micky: Ma'am. we have no more. I don't have a transporter like on Star Trek to magically make more appear. I'm sorry. The best I can do is give you a rain check.

Lady: Fine. Be that way. You should have had more in stock in the first place!

Micky: *Smiles wider as he hands over the rain check* Next time, I'll tell the manager to forget ordering everything else in the store and just get the TVs, so that your Edgar can have his TV, okay?

Lady: Don't be fresh, young man, or I'll report you to your manager! (She huffs off)

Davy: *Leans over to Micky* Very nice, mate.

Micky: Not bad. Your turn, Dave.

(As the other woman leaves, a very old lady with a cart filled with gifts walks up to the desk.)

Woman: Hello, gentlemen. I'm ready to check out.

Davy: *Smiles at the old lady* Hello, luv. How are you today?

Woman: I'm fine. (Grins at Davy) Oh, are you just the most adorable young man? I think I've seen you somewhere before...

Davy: Maybe I just have one of those faces.

Woman: Maybe. (She nods at her full cart) Could you help me get out some of these? I have a bad back, and I just had surgery on my elbow, and my knee isn't what it used to be.

Davy: Oh...okay! *comes around the counter and starts unloading her cart on the conveyor*

Woman: Thank you, young man. Make sure you don't put more than two things in each bag. And try not to make too many bags. I have a long way to go home.

Davy: *Pauses; his eyebrows go up* ...I'll do my best, luv.

Woman: I wish I could help you, but I'm not moving too well these days. My husband will help me with these when I get home, but could you load them into my car for me?

Davy: Uh, sure. What's customer service for?

*Meanwhile, Micky's busy hiding his giggles behind Davy. He takes off to roam the aisles in search of someone to help. Davy turns around, looking to ask Micky for help...and glowers when he finds him gone.*

Woman: (As Davy loads her cart) You're doing so well! (Lifts a bag...and can barely get it up) Oh, this one is going to have to be re-done.

Woman: (Lifts another bag) And this one.

Davy: *Frowns* I only put two items in each and you wanted as few bags as possible... but I'll re-do them.

Woman: Yes, please!

(Davy does as he's told. She lifts the bag and smiles.)

Woman: Yes, this one's better. (Lifts the other bag and puts it down in her cart) Hmmm... (Starts re-arranging the items in the bag)

Davy: *eyebrows go up* Something wrong?

Woman: I like it better this way. (Starts adding more things to another bag)

Davy: Okay. They are your bags.

Woman: There. I'm ready for you to help me now.

Davy: Show me the way. *motions to her cart* I'll push the cart for you.

Woman: Why thank you. That's very sweet.

(The camera follows them as Davy calls a young woman over to take the customer service desk, then helps the old woman out of the store. The camera makes a sharp turn from Davy and the woman heading for the doors to two familiar figures washing windows in the main lobby.)

Sach: Chief, I didn't miss a spot!

Slip: No, ya missed several!

Sach: And you ain't missed any?

Mike: (As he joins them) What's goin' on over here?

Slip: This muttonhead can't seem to clean the whole window.

Sach: I have to!

Mike: (Rolls his eyes) None of the windows look like you've been cleanin' them.

Sach: Yes they do! (Blows on his, then wipes it) I can see outta mine!

Mike: That's the idea.

Sach: (He blows on Slip's window) I can't see myself outta yours, Chief!

Mike: I can't see myself outta any of them.

Sach: (Leans over Slip to wipe his window) I think I see a spot you didn't get...

*Slip finally just belts Sach with his hat.*

Mike: Maybe you guys need some help.

Sach: Do we need help, Chiefy?

Slip: You do, but that's neither there or here.

Mike: Why don't I help you finish these, an' then we can work on displays.

Sach: (Grins) Sure! It'll be fun to work together!

Mike: Ok, then. Move over, Slip. (Takes a squeegee out of his bucket)

*Slip shakes a fist behind Mike's back, which he doesn't see.*

(An instrumental "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" begins. Mike tries to squeegee under Slip, but Slip keeps climbing on him. He finally pushes Slip off and moves a little further down the window.)

(Sach whistles along with the song as he pulls his sponge out of the bucket. Water flies everywhere, including all over Slip.)

(Mike is now wiping a window. He winces when he hears what sounds like nails over a chalkboard. Turns out to be Sach running the squeegee down his window.)

*Slip works on wiping the bottom of one window while wearing ear muffs & ignoring the other two.*

(Mike moves away from his window...and steps right into Slip's bucket. He raises a foot to try to shake the bucket off. Sach sees him and tries to help him pull the bucket off of his foot.)

(Mike jumps around, trying to shake the bucket off...and jumps into Slip.)

(Sach points to Mike. Hey Chief, could you help us with this bucket?)

*Slip grabs the bucket and pulls...and falls on his rear end. The bucket is still on Mike's foot.*

(Mike groans. Sach grabs Slip’s overalls. Why don't they try together?)

*Slip nods. One, two, three!*

(They finally do get the bucket off his foot. Mike goes flying into a display of stuffed bears. Slip and Sach go flying in the opposite direction. Sach lands right on Slip.)

*Slip shoves Sach off of him.*

(Mike tosses them a couple of bears. Help him set the display back up, before Emma sees!)

(Sach grins. He grabs one bear and dances with it. He dances right into Slip. Come on, Chief. Grab a partner and do-si-do!)

*Slip just shakes his head.*

(Mike tries to stack the bears the way they were before, but they keep falling all over him.)

(Sach makes them drive Barbie cars. Vroom vroom! He drives one right into Slip.)

(Mike just steps over Sach's cars. He bends down, plucks one of the bears out of the car, and puts it on the top of his pile.)

(Sach taps Slip on the shoulder and holds up a bear and a car. Wanna play, Chief?)

*Slip shakes his head again and heads back over to the windows.*

(Mike finally decides to leave the bears to Sach and starts organizing the racks of candy in the front...but every time he'll try to get a box half-done, someone else will ask him to help them find something, or have a complaint, or want to know where the bathroom is.)

(Sach is still playing with the bears. He now has them riding toy horses. He makes one gallop up to Slip! Are you sure you don't want to play, Chief?)

*Slip glares at Sach. No!*

(Sach makes a face. Ok, ok, you don't have to shout! He returns to his horses.)

Mike: (He returns to Slip as the romp ends) You're lookin' a little better, man.

Slip: *Turns to Mike* Thanks for the approval. *turns back to the window and rolls his eyes*

Mike: Why don't you give your back a break and help us out with the displays?

Slip: *Over his shoulder* Can't I just finish the windows?

Mike: Need any help?

Slip: *Shrugs* Yer the boss.

Mike: No, I ain't the boss. Em's the boss, an' she wants us to clean up. (He grabs the bucket and a squeegee and takes Sach's windows) I'd still like to know how that happened.

Slip: Yeah, well, anyone's a boss over me an’ Sach. *shakes his head* Janitors... *Makes a sound of disgust.*

Mike: Maybe if you do well at this job, Em will give you a better job. Maybe she'll make you the head janitors.

Slip: *Turns to Mike; deadpan* I can hardly detain myself.

Mike: Do you think I'm happy workin' under my own wife?

Sach: (He heads over to Slip, now holding a bear in a model airplane) Hey Chief, wanna see how Chester the Snow Bear can fly?

Slip: Sach, enough wit' the bears! Yer s'posed ta be cleanin' the display! Instead, yer playin' wit' 'em!

Emma: (She comes in...and frowns at the buckets and Sach's display mess) What are you guys doing?

Sach: Making bears fly.

Emma: Making a mess is what I see. Maybe you'd be better off somewhere else.

Mike: Like where?

Emma: Slip, Sach, can you wrap presents? I know Mike can. He helps me every year. Micky's already over there.

Slip: *Shrugs* I've done it before.

Sach: Sure, I can wrap presents! I wrap all of my Hanukkah presents for Chiefy every year!

Mike: (Mutters to Slip) And didn't you say you never had any problem figurin' out what Sach's presents were?

Slip: *Nods* Like the hockey stick one year.

Mike: We'll have to keep an eye on him and give him all the easy presents. Mick's pretty good at wrappin', too...but he likes to do gag gifts, like puttin' a small present in a big box. Cute for his kids, but not for everybody.

Slip: I've had those, too.

Emma: Well, boys, get crackin'!

Mike: What about the display?

Emma: I'll finish it. Some of the other janitors can finish the windows. Now go! Micky's overwhelmed back there!

Mike: Fine, fine. Ok then, fellas, let's go.

Sach: Chiefy, can I keep Chester the Bear?

Slip: You payin' for Chester?

Sach: (His eyes get sad and his lips quiver) Oh please, Chiefy! Call it an early Hanukkah present!

Slip: *Sighs* Obliviously, ya ain't got the money. Fine, Sach. He's a Hanukkah gift. C'mon.

Sach: Yay! (Hugs Slip) Oh thank you, Chiefy! Thank you! I'll never ask for anything ever again!

Slip: *Rolls his eyes* Sure ya won't, Sach.

(Cut to a large desk in a corner of the store. When Mike, Slip, Sach, and Chester the Bear arrive, all they see is a familiar arm sticking out from under a pile of boxes, gifts, and wrapping paper.)

Mike: Mick, what did you do to yourself? (He grabs the arm and hauls him out from under the avalanche of paper.)

Micky: Mike! Oh, thanks goodness! *gives Mike a bear hug* It was horrible! All I wanted was a box! Next thing I know...landslide! Oh, the humanity!

Mike: (Rolls his eyes) Calm down, Mick. You look like you could use some help over here?

Sach: Oh boy! We can help! (He literally dives into the pile of paper and packages)

Mike: Why don't you let some experts help you out, Mick?

Sach: Yeah, Slip's the best at wrappin' presents, an' I ain't too shabby, either!

Slip: Yeah, he is shabby.

Sach: Ok, then. Wrap a present for us, Chief!

Mike: Yeah. I wanna see ya do it.

Slip: Fine. Gimme som'en to wrap.

Mike: (Grabs a hockey stick) Do this.

Sach: Oooh yeah! This should be good!

Slip: Fine. *Gets a couple of gift boxes. He grabs a box cutter and cuts an end off each box. He picks up the hockey stick and puts it in the boxes, now cut end to cut end. He pushes the boxes closer together, then tapes them together. He takes the hockey stick back out and flips the box over, putting tape on the underside. He then cuts an end off each of the lids and fits them to the newly-christened long box and tapes them. He pulls the cover back off, puts some tape on the inside, then grabs a handful of tissue paper and lays them inside, then the hockey stick, then more tissue paper.*

Mike: Dang...

*Slip puts the cover on the box and puts tape along the outside to hold the cover on. He pulls out the roll of paper, stretching it to the length of the box, by placing it on the paper. He grabs the scissors and cuts the paper in one sweep. Folding the long way, he leaves the short ends for last and puts a few pieces of tape here and there along the length of the box. Then, Slip does the ends, folding the sides in first, then the bottom, and the top taped to the bottom. He flips the box over and grabs some ribbon. He ties the ribbon around, then in a knot. He picks up the scissors again and uses them to curl the ribbon. He plops the scissors back down and folds his arms, a smug look on his face. Micky's jaw is hung open.*

Mike: (He and Sach applaud) You're a genius, my boy.

Sach: That's my Chief!

Slip: *Shrugs* Next time, gimme som'en more difficult.

*Micky's jaw is STILL hung open.*

Mike: (Closes Micky's jaw) Don't leave that open, son. You'll catch flies.

Sach: Oh boy! My turn! (He grabs a box and a box cutter) Ok, lemme see. How am I gonna do this? (Goes around to every angle)

Mike: (He takes a box with a football in it and starts wrapping that) Does it always take Sach this long to wrap anything?

Slip: Yeah. An' it still comes out horrible.

Mike: Wanna try to help him, since you seem to be the expert here?

Sach: Hmm. (He pulls tape off the roll...and pulls it too hard. It gets stuck on the end of his nose) Oh Chief...need help... (He tries to pull off more, but now, it gets stuck on his jacket.)

Slip: Sach...

Sach: Chief...here... (He tries to hand Slip the box, but it's got tape all over it)

Slip: *Yanks the box from Sach's hands* Gimme that!

Mike: (Looks up from his box, which he's adding ribbon to) What's he doin'?

Sach: Hey! Careful, Chief! You'll tear the paper!

Mike: Maybe he can add the ribbon?

Slip: *Yanks the paper off* Gotta start over. *Lays the box on the stretched out paper and begins to work his "magic."*

Sach: Can I do somethin? (Pulls ribbon off the spool...but he pulls too much. Soon, there's a whole length of ribbon trailing around him and Slip.)

Slip: *Growls* Sach, play wit' Chester.

Sach: Ok! (He grabs Chester and makes him play with the ribbon)

Mike: (As he wraps a large bowl) Is he always like this?

Slip: *Finishes the football* Yeah.

Mike: (Grabs a doll) How long have you guys been friends?

Sach: Oh, we've been friends forever, since we was kids! Right, Chief?

Slip: *Starts working on another gift* In other words, too long.

Sach: What are ya wrappin', Chiefy? Is it somethin' good?

Mike: Looks big.

Slip: *As he works on it* Train set. It's heavy, too.

Sach: Did I hear a train set? (He runs over to Slip) Oooh, what kind? Can we open it? I love trains! Woo woo!

Slip: No! It ain't yours.

Mike: Sach, stay out of the gifts.

Sach: But I just wanna see it!

Slip: Then go find one in the toy aisle!

Sach: But Emma said for me to stay here!

Mike: Sach, why don't you organize boxes?

Sach: Ok! (He starts to stack boxes. He makes one stack taller than Slip!)

Slip: *Eyes the stock* If that falls over on me, Sach...

Sach: I won't let it fall... (But he knocks into the stack, and they do fall onto Slip) ...over. Sorry, Chief.

(Mike snickers.)

Slip: *From under the boxes* SACH!!!

*Micky chuckles as well.*

(We fade out on Slip glaring at Sach from under the boxes.)