Ok, ready to get the guys drunk and the story going?

Yeah! ;)

Micky: Huh?

Davy: I don't know if I like 'ow you said that...

Mike: This could be interestin'.

Valerie: (Sighs) Peter's not here. :p

*We open in the Rainbow Room in Micky and Lauren's house. A few birthday streamers still hang around the room, but some New Year's decorations have been added. Micky wanders around the room, carrying a noisemaker.*

Mike: (Comes in with more decorations; he wears a glittery top hat) This everythin' you wanted, Mick?

Micky: *nods* Perfect! *takes the decorations* Love the hat.

Mike: Don't look at me. It was Em's idea. (Frowns) Are you guys ready for another party? After all, we just had one for Davy and me over the weekend...

Micky: Can you seriously ask me that?

Mike: I mean, we've got the kids upstairs and all...

Micky: They're fine.

Lauren: *joins them* Besides, having them here will help you behave.

Micky: And there's that.

Mike: Anythin' else we're gonna need? Em's workin' on the food in the kitchen.

Lauren: I don't think so. We have a fair amount of stuff here already, and we don't really need a lot anyway, no matter what Mick says.

Micky: You can NEVER have enough decorations.

Mike: And no Mick, no sparklers, and definitely NOT inside.

Micky: *jerks a thumb at Lauren* Lauren already said no to the sparklers. You guys really are some killjoys, you know that?

Lauren: Outdoors, maybe. Indoors, definitely NOT.

Mike: We don't want you cookin' the won ton appetizers the hard way.

Emma: Hey, I could use some HELP here! (Emma carries a huge bowl of punch)

Mike: Comin', darlin'! (Mike goes to help her. The two of them get it on a table)

Emma: Whew! (She wears a red tiara with the words "Happy New Year!" written on them in glitter) That was close.

Lauren: But the punch and you both made it in one piece, that's what counts.

Mike: (Nods) That's right, darlin'. (Frowns; looks at his watch) Eight thirty. When's everyone supposed to be showin' up to this thing?

Lauren: Should be any time now, actually.

Emma: Valerie said she'd be along with the sandwich trays by nine.

Mike: What about Pete?

Micky: I heard sandwiches...

Emma: (Sighs) You and that pea-soup memory of yours, Baby. Peter was talking about leaving the group.

Mike: Pete ain't gonna leave the group. He was just sayin' that to piss me off.

Emma: Valerie says he was seriously considering it.

Micky: He did mention something along those lines...

Mike: Music is his life!

Micky: I think that's part of the problem.

Lauren: *sighs* Peter's a grown man. Let him do what he wants. If he doesn't show, that doesn't mean the rest of us can't ring in the new year.

Emma: That's right. Peter will be fine. (Grins) Has Davy recovered from the other night yet?

Micky: Yes and no.

Lauren: Don't ask.

Micky: You'll see when he shows up.

Emma: I'll take that as a 'no.'

Mike: Kid's usually better at holdin' his liquor than that. He's gettin' soft, that boy.

Lauren: But maybe that's a good thing.

Emma: (Glares at Mike) You were worthless the day after that. Do you HAVE to drink so much?

Mike: I didn't have THAT much at the party!

Emma: Then why did you drink five pots of coffee the next morning?

Mike: I like coffee, ok?

Micky: You like it A LOT.

Mike: (Mutters as the others laugh) Yeah, yeah... (Fade out on the group as the doorbell rings and Micky and Lauren go to get it.)

*Cut to later. The New Year's Eve party at Lauren and Micky's house is winding down. Most guests have already left. It’s just the three guys and four girls.*

Mike: (Hiccups and flops on the bandstand with a drink) Damn, that was fun. We ought to do it twice a year.

Emma: Some more than others. (Makes a face and takes off her cardboard New Year's tiara) You're sloshed.

Mike: No, I'm (hiccup again) not.

*Davy falls over on the bandstand behind Mike. Daphne giggles and joins him.*

Mike: I though you were better at holdin' your liquor than that, boy.

*Davy opens his mouth to answer, but Daphne tickles him, making him laugh instead.*

Emma: Where's the hosts?

Valerie: (She comes in with a drink) Sending the last of the guests on their way.

Mike: I hope they all get home ok. Niles and the Martians were pretty gone.

Lauren: *returns, with Micky behind her* Jack was still sober, so he offered to drove them all.

Micky: *nods; he's a little bright-eyed, but otherwise coherent* He was joking about making them pay taxi rates. ;)

Mike: I don't think he was jokin'.

Emma: Good. I was wondering about that myself. Jenny drove Kim and Maxine home right after the ball went down. I think Max passed out around 10:30. (Sighs) It's a good thing we all agreed to sleep here tonight.

Mike: Yeah, we can get as gone as we want.

Lauren: Or as gone as us ladies will allow.

Valerie: (Sighs) I wish Peter was here, but he took Jordan to visit his parents in Connecticut the day after Christmas while he figures out what he's doing. I couldn't go. I had work.

Mike: I wish he'd tell us. He's the one who wants all this group shit.

Valerie: He wants to be a part of a group, Mike, and I don't think he feels like he's a part of this one anymore.

Mike: Why can't he tell us, instead of hidin' in damn Laurel Canyon?

Valerie: I don't know. I'm his wife, not his keeper. Ask him when he comes back.

Emma: Why don't we talk about something else? Something BESIDES Peter?

Mike: How about another drink?

Emma: Oh no, Mr. Nesmith. You've had enough.

Mike: How many of you are there, darlin'?

Emma: One.

Mike: Then I ain't had enough yet.

*Micky laughs and leans on Lauren's shoulder. She pushes him off and he tips over in the opposite direction.*

Emma: If Micky likes your jokes, you've all had more than enough.

Mike: I don't wanna go to bed yet. I could stay up all night and just hang out.

Lauren: That's actually not a bad idea.

Micky: *rights himself* Hey, we could tell a story!

Emma: Yeah, it's been a while since we've done one of those round-robin things, and we've never done them without the kids.

Mike: What the hell. It'll keep us awake.

Emma: (Under her breath) And sober.

*Lauren nods her agreement.*

Davy: *hiccups as he sits up, then helps Daphne back up* Wot the 'eck. It'll be fun.

Emma: Who'll start this time?

Mike: (Yawns) Any ideas, folks?

Micky: I'll start. *shrugs* My idea.

Emma: Ok, Mick. I don't think you've ever started one.

Micky: Okay, um...I know where to begin! Okay, it's shortly after the Great Depression, 1940-ish. This is one of those black and white detective stories that Bogie is so great in!

Lauren: *slaps her forehead* Oh, geez...

Micky: So, it's one of those buildings with twenty some-odd different businesses. In one of those offices, there's this really suave detective with the Fedora, three-piece suit, and trench coat hanging on the coat rack.

Mike: You been watchin' the all-night Cagney marathons again, bo...Mick?

Micky: *grins* Yup.

Lauren: Hard to tell, wasn't it? *rolls her eyes*

Micky: Anyway, so we've got the detective, and he's got a GORGEOUS secretary, but don't call her that because she'll punch ya out... *We fade into black and white, into the scene he's just described.*

(The camera follows a tall, curvaceous shadow up a flight of stairs to an office door that says "Dolenz and Jones, Private Detectives" on it in fancy script. We move into the office itself. Lauren, wearing black trousers, a neat blouse and sweater, and pearls, types in the outer office. In the inner office, Micky and Davy...take a nap.)

Micky: *narrating* So, we see the office door open & we see a woman enter...

Sheila: Hello. May I speak to Mr. Jones or Mr. Dolenz, Miss...

Lauren: *glances up; cracks her gum* Miller. You got an appointment?

Sheila: No, but I simply HAD to talk to them. My name is Miss Sheila Saunders, and I have a proposition I think will interest them.

Lauren: *leans on the desk, chin propped in a hand; cracks her gum again* What kind of proposition?

Sheila: I would really rather discuss it with Mr. Dolenz or Mr. Jones.

Lauren: *shrugs; cracks her gum again* I gotta know what to tell them. They like to know what they're getting into...before getting into it.

Sheila: It involves a man I believe may be swindling me.

Lauren: Well, why didn't ya say so!? That's one of the fellas' specialties. Hang on a second. *gets up and goes into the guys' office without knocking; emerges moments later, smiling* Mr. Dolenz and Mr. Jones are ready to see you, Miss Saunders.

Sheila: Thank you, Miss Miller. (She enters the room...where the guys are trying to look like they're actually doing something)

Sheila: Did I disturb anything important?

Micky: *narrating* The detectives looked up...and up...and up. Hey, the chick had some long legs. *there's a pause as the sound of a slap is heard* Okay, maybe they weren't THAT long. Um, where was I? Oh, right...

Dolenz: *gives a slight smirk* Just some file work, nothing much. *a scoff is heard from the 'lobby'*

Sheila: (She sits down in a chair in front of the desks while the boys gawk at her gams; she puts on lipstick, then begins) Now, gentlemen, my name is Miss Sheila Saunders. I've come to you to ask you to investigate a man whom I believe has been swindling me.

Jones: Well, Miss Saundahs, we're proud to say that we're at our best when it comes to someone being swindled. We 'aven't lost a case yet.

Dolenz: *shrugs* Mainly because we haven't done a swindling case yet.

Sheila: You're honest. How...refreshing. (She plays with her gloves nervously) You must take the utmost care. I don't want him to know my partner and I are onto him.

Dolenz: Don't worry! No one will even know we're investing.

Jones: And we'll take care. We'll just 'ave to look up "utmost" first.

*Micky rolls his eyes.*

Sheila: His name is Henry Babbitt. Here's a recent photo of him. (Hands the picture to Micky)

Dolenz: *typical PI narration* He was an ugly son with a face that...well, probably not even his mother could love. Who knows? *hands the picture to Davy, who starts upon seeing it*

Dolenz: *normal* He doesn't appear to be the type to have the mental capacities to even know what the word swindle means, but, then again, I could be completely wrong. I'm a bad judge of character, but a good PI.

Sheila: He's far more intelligent than he appears. He tricked my partner and I out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Jones: Then 'e's a lucky buggah.

Dolenz: Do you know where we might be able to find this man?

Sheila: Yes. He's the maitre 'd in the Club Headquarters, one of the leading nightspots in downtown Malibu Beach.

Dolenz: Very well, then. We'll check him out and get him off your case, Miss Saunders.

Sheila: Oh thank you, gentlemen! (Flutters her eyelashes) It's so sweet of big, handsome men like you to be helping a frightened young lady like me!

Dolenz: That's what we're here for.

Sheila: And of course, I'd be willing to pay you generously. (She pulls a wad of bills out of her purse) How does five hundred dollars up front sound?

*Davy falls off his chair.*

Dolenz: I'd say that sounds like a deal.

Sheila: Very good. (Hands Micky the money) I'll meet you boys at the Club Headquarters tonight.

Dolenz: We'll be there.

Sheila: Thank you so much! You don't know how much this means to me!

Dolenz: Just doing our job.

Sheila: Thank you again! I'll see you tonight. (She blows them a kiss, then leaves. We follow her as she walks past Lauren...with a decided smirk on her face. She chuckles evilly as she heads out the door)