You boys ready to hit the kitchen? ;)

Peter: I'm ready! We've got to get the girls to hear us!

Mike: This is crazy!

Micky: This is definitely an adventure.

Davy: I NEVAH want to 'ear anothah short joke as long as I live...

(We open with the four women and the four kids coming in the door. Emma puts Katie on the floor; she naturally follows the twins into the messy living room.)

(Valerie puts Jordan down; he more timidly goes after Katie. Daphne sets Elizabeth on the couch, where she watches the others, facinated.)

Katie: Yay! Papa! Uncas! We're home!

Jordan: Hello?

Little Mick: Daddy, yoo hoo! :D

Emma: You'd think they could at least clean this place up!

Lauren: *plops on the couch* Are you kidding?

Valerie: They're probably in the Rainbow Room.

Shelly: Daddy’s playing hide and seek!

Katie: Papa? Paaapppaaa!

Emma: Mike? (She goes into the Rainbow Room and comes right back out, shaking her head) They're not in there.

Lauren: I wonder where they could've gone.

Valerie: That's odd. Mike said they were going to be rehearsing for most of the day.

Valerie: Maybe they got bored and went out for a drink.

Daphne: Wouldn't surprise me.

Katie: Papa? Papa? (She looks around the living room, then turns to the twins) "Have you seen Papa? He's not here, an' he's not playing music in the Rainbow Room!"

Little Mick: *shakes his head* "Nope. We don't see our daddy, either."

Jordan: "Where's our daddies? They were supposed to be here! Daddy was going to play music with me when they took a break!"

Katie: "I'm sure they're ok. Maybe Aunt Valerie's right and they just went out."

Jordan: "But Daddy promised!" (He looks like he's going to cry)

Katie: (Puts an arm around Jordan) "Aw Jordan, they'll be back! I'll bet Uncle Micky got hungry and they went to get sanwiches!"

Jordan: "Maybe. Unca Micky does like to eat."

Shelly: "Daddy's always hungry."

Emma: Has anyone checked the kitchen?

Valerie: (Slaps her forehead) Micky must have gotten hungry!

Emma: Guys? (All four women head for the kitchen; Daphne picks up Elizabeth)

Katie: "See? I'll bet our daddies got hungry and are getting a snack!"

Lauren: They aren't here. *goes to a cabinet, grabs a box of crackers, and starts munching*

Daphne: Where else could they be?

Emma: (Looks at Daphne as she sets Elizabeth on a chair) Maybe they went upstairs?

Valerie: (Sighs) I don't have all day to chase them. I have to go do a few things at Headquarters.

Lauren: And I'm just tired.

Emma: Well, we need to feed the kids. Daph, you go upstairs and check for them.

Valerie: I'll go with you. I don't have to leave yet, just soon.

Daphne: *nods* Okay.

Katie: (As Lauren opens the fridge and Emma goes through the cabinets) What's for lunch?

Emma: How about tuna fish sandwiches and vegtable sandwiches for the people who don't like meat, and some veggie soup?

Lauren: Think I might make myself a grilled cheese with ham. *licks her lips as she heads for the grill*

Emma: Yummy, hot grilled tuna sounds nice for me and Katie.

Katie: Yummy! Tuna!

Jordan: Me too!

Emma: Ok, Jordan, you too. Your mommy wants you to eat some meat, so you get big and strong.

Lauren: We'll line them up and get cooking. :)

Jordan: (Looks at the twins) You eat?

*Both twins nod enthusiastically.*

Katie: They ALWAYS eat!

Jordan: (Looks down, surprised; picks up the red car the guys drove around in earlier) "Hey Mick, isn't this your car?"

Little Mick: *goes over and looks at the car* "It is! What's it doing in here?"

Jordan: "Maybe someone drove it in?"

Katie: "The only people small enough to drive in that car are Mick's little plastic army men!"

Shelly: "Weird."

(Cut to the guys. It's slightly later; the girls are bringing the soup and sandwiches to the kids as Daphne rejoins them.)

Emma: Nothing?

Daphne: Nope.

Mike: (We see the girls from their point of view, the camera looking up at Emma) Darlin', down here! (Waves) Darlin'!

Peter: Emma! Lauren! Daphne! Kids!

Micky: Hey, babe! *jumps up and down a few times, waving his arms* Someone!

Davy: This isn't working, mates.

Mike: They ain't hearin' us. We've gotta somehow get their attention.

Peter: Whoa! (The guys duck out of the way as Daphne sets up a high chair)

Katie: (Cut back to them as Daphne pulls out Elizabeth's lunch) What's that?

Little Mick: *makes a face* "Ewww! It's mushy!"

Katie: "Lizzie, you really eat that stuff?"

Lizzie: "Uh huh! It's yummy and easy to eat!"

Katie: "It looks like the stuff I use to fingerpaint with!" :p

(Cut down to the guys. Mike frowns.)

Mike: (Squints upwards) Looks like they're settin' up for Lizzie's lunch.

Micky: Uh oh. Why do I get the feeling this might get messy?

Peter: (Eyes widen; turns to Davy) Dave, does Lizzie throw her food around a lot when she eats?

Mike: If she's anythin' like her old man...

Davy: Wish we 'ad some rain coats.

Micky: Dive! Dive! :P

(The guys duck away as the first huge globs of pea-green and sweet-potato-orange come flying down, followed by something that MIGHT be chicken.)

Mike: (Calls upwards) Hey, feed the kid, not us!

Peter: Actually, (dips a finger into the sweet potato mush) it's not bad!

Micky: *eyes the mush* Am I that desperate? *pauses* YES! *dives for one of the mounds of mush and starts eating*

Davy: That's bloody gross.

Mike: (Raises his eyebrows at Micky) You worry me, boy.

Micky: I'm HUNGRY!

Peter: Really, it's not that bad! (Goes for some of the peas; makes a face) Well, ok, the peas aren't great, but try the sweet potatoes! Daph must have added honey or something, because they're really good!

Mike: Um, I'll pass, thanks.

Davy: Ahh, why not. *tries the sweet potatoes; to Peter* I think you may be right, Petah. I'll ask 'er about it.

Mike: Man, guys...

Peter: (Calls upwards) Hey, throw down some pasta!

(Suddenly, we get a shower of spiral-shaped noodles and big slices of carrots, this one coming from one of the twins' eating soup.)

Micky: *grins* Thank you! :D

Peter: (Beams upwards) I love prompt replies!

(Grabs one of the carrots slices and eats it; it's almost as big as he is!)

Mike: Guys, come on... (he's knocked down by a noodle)

Micky: *snorts* Talk about getting hit with a wet noodle!

Peter: Michael, if you were that hungry, you could have just ask us for some carrots!

*The camera cuts back to the twins, specifically Little Mick, who's trying to fling the food into his mouth. More noodles and carrots fly to the floor. Mick looks down to see where the food landed. He gets a curious look on his face when he realizes that most of what ended up on the floor is suddenly missing.*

Katie: (She and Shelly are getting food on them) "Ugh! Mick, you're so gross! Do you have to..." (Sees where Mick is staring) "What is it, Mick?"

Jordan: "Is something wrong with the floor?"

Mick: "I'm not sure! There should be more food down there than there is!"

Katie: "What do you mean?"

Jordan: (Looks down) "All I see is floor, and...something moving..."

Shelly: "Something moving? Like mice?"

Jordan: "Mice? Where"

Katie: "They don't look like mice!" (Goes to the floor)

(Cut back to the guys. Peter is just finishing his massive carrot slice. Davy helps Mike from under the noodle.)

*Micky continues to munch happily.*

Mike: (Brushes off the soup as well as he can) Well, now that we're...what's that? (Sees a huge shadow coming towards them)

Peter: Yikes, it's a monster!

Katie: (Leans down - we get it from the guys' point of view, and Katie DOES look huge) Papa?

Mike: KATIE! Cowgirl, Papa's down here, with your uncles!

Micky: *looks up from eating* Whoa!

Katie: Papa! (Cut to her returning to the kids and the table, as they watch her expectantly) "I found our daddies! They're on the floor!"

Jordan: "You did? What are they doing on the floor?"

Katie: I don't know. (Turns to Mike; we see him from her point of view, as she watches the four tiny Monkees) Papa, why are you down there?

Mike: Um, Uncle Micky had a little accident with the chemistry set.

Katie: Ohhhhhhhhh.

Micky: *makes a face; then holds his index finger and thumb about an inch apart* About that big.

Katie: Can we help?

Mike: Please! Tell your mommies we're down here!

Peter: We don't know how to make ourselves big again!

Katie: Ok. (Turns to the kids) "Guys, our daddies need our help! All of us!"

Jordan: "Are they ok?"

Katie: "Well, sort of. I don't think they're hurt or anything, but they're kind of little."

Jordan: "Littler than us?" :o

Katie: "REEEELLLLY little! They said Unca Micky's chemistry set did it!"

Shelly: "Uh oh. Bet Uncles aren't too happy with Daddy."

Jordan: "Where are they now?"

Katie: "They're down here!" (She waves them to where the guys are as Daphne takes Lizzie out of her high chair)

Mike: (We see them from the kids' point of view - they're as small as the afore-mentioned army men toys) Kids! Thank god!

Peter: It's us! Your daddies! Just...smaller.

Jordan: Wow! :o

Mike: You've gotta get us to your mommies!

Peter: They'll know how to make us big!

Katie: Ok, Unca Peter! :)

Jordan: Help!

Davy: And make us big soon!

*Micky opens his mouth, but Davy glares at him. Micky grins.*

Katie: (Turns to the other kids) "We've got to make our daddies big!"

Jordan: "Let's get our mommies!"

(The kids all go over to Lauren, Emma, and Daphne. Emma and Lauren clear off the table; Daphne clears off her daughter.)

Katie: (Tugs at her mother) Mama! Mama!

Jordan: Auntie Lauren? (Tugs on Lauren's pants leg)

*The twins run over to Lauren, jumping up and down.*

Lauren: What in the world's gotten into all of you?

Emma: Why don't you guys go out in the living room and get out all that energy? We'll be out there shortly anyway to pick up.

Katie: But Mama...

Jordan: Where Mommy?

Emma: Jordan, your mommy went to work. She'll be back in a few hours.

Jordan: Aww, help Daddy!

Emma: Well, that's one of the reasons she works, so she can help Daddy's group.

Jordan: But...

Emma: Go play! (Grins) Go play with Lizzie! She's old enough to sit up now!

Little Mick: Aw!

Shelly: Okay...

Emma: Go play with Lizzie (leans over Daph) while Auntie Daphne checks the garage for the guys.

*Daphne nods."

Emma: We'll keep an eye on Lizzie from here.

Katie: Papa!

Emma: Don't worry, Katie. I'm sure Papa's around here somewhere.

Katie: There! (Points at the floor)

Emma: We'll clean up Lizzie's mess. I cleaned up your mess when you were as little as Lizzie.

*The twins exchange looks, making faces at each other.*

Lauren: Don't make faces like that. Your faces might freeze and stay that way forever.

Jordan: (Eyes widen) "Really?"

Peter: (Down on the floor; looks at the guys) Really?

Micky: No, Pete.

Katie: (Sighs) No, Jordan.

Mike: Like father, like son. :p

Katie: "You're too much like your daddy sometimes, Jordan. He says silly things, too."

Jordan: "Thank you!"

Emma: (Gently scoots Katie to the door) We'll be out there soon, kids. I just need to do the dishes, and Auntie Lauren needs to use the mop.

Katie: Mama!

Jordan: Aunties...

Shelly: But Mommy...

Emma: No buts, gang! We can't clean with you underfoot.

Mike: (Down below; mutters) You don't know the half of that "underfoot" stuff, darlin'.

Micky: Wait. Lauren's gonna mop?

Peter: (Looks at himself) Well, I could use a good cleaning after all that goopy sweet potato...

Mike: Oh man, Mick, what's your mop like?

Micky: We change the mop every week, so it should be a new one, or at least not overly used, but still. (Frowns) Uh, Mike, don't get seasick.

Mike: Wha...

*The camera looks up from the guys' point of view. We see Lauren pull out a new mop and a half-full pail of water. She dunks the mop in the soapy water, then plops it on the floor and swirls it around. She's getting closer to where the guys are.*

Micky: Oh no! Here she comes!

Mike: Run for it! :o

Davy: Look out!

(The guys run as best they can, screaming all the way, but they're knocked over by the mop and swept along on what appears to be a tidal wave of soapy water and green, brown, and orange goop. It sweeps them right into the living room!)

(When they emerge, they're all soaked. Mike stands and rings out his sleeves.)

Peter: Well, at least I won't need a shower tonight!

*Micky is lying on his back. He spits out a fountain-like stream of water.*

Davy: *to Peter* You sure about that, Petah? *sniffs his clothes* :P

Mike: Man, I'd say I need to hit a dryer, but your wife might stick us in with the laundry next.

Peter: Maybe we could stand under a hair dryer!

Mike: Are you kidding? One of those things would blow us right off the table!

Micky: *sits up* The coffee table! If we can get up there, someone's bound to see us!

Davy: 'Ow do we get UP there?

Micky: Ummm...

Mike: Maybe we could climb the legs.

Peter: Or find a ladder!

Davy: A laddah our size?

Peter: The kids have tons of toys in here! There's gotta be a ladder around somewhere!

Micky: They've got a toy firetruck!

Mike: (Nods at the toy fire truck, which is conviently nearby) Good idea, Mick. Come on, guys. We gotta get that thing.

(Cut back to the kids, who are playing with dolls and green army men, amusing Lizzie, who sits against pillows.)

*Little Mick notices lights flashing on his toy fire truck. He taps his sister on the shoulder. Shelly looks where her brother points. Her eyes widen.*

Katie: "And TJ Teddy says, 'I like you, Miss Lizzie, play with me!' (She makes the little brown bear "hug" Lizzie lightly. Lizzie laughs.)

Jordan: (Holds up a clown doll) "And Clownie says..." (frowns as Little Mick tugs on him) "What is it, Mick? Do you need your mommy?"

Little Mick: "No. *points off to the side* Look!" *points at the fire truck slowly making its way across the room*

Katie: (All five kids watch as the firetruck drives over to the coffee table) "Whoa!"

Jordan: "Wow! That fire truck is so cool! It drives itself!"

Lizzie: "Oh, that's neat!"

Little Mick: "But it doesn't drive by itself!"

Jordan: "Then how is it doing that?"

(Cut to the guys...who don't notice the HUGE kids coming up on them in the background. The guys now wear firemen's costumes as they roll the ladder up to the top of the coffee table.)

Mike: (His hat says "chief," naturally) Ok, men, let's get to the top and get the attention of our good women!

Peter: But I think the kids are the only ones in here!

Mike: I'm sure the girls will come after them in a minute.

Micky: Last one up's a rotten egg!

Mike: Micky and Davy, don't kill each other gettin' up there!

("All Of Your Toys" begins as Micky and Davy argues over who's going first, and while they argue, Peter goes first, then Mike with a sigh. Mike finally leans down and yells for them to join them when they feel like getting along.)

*Micky and Davy takes turns pulling the other off the ladder, trying not to be the last one. Eventually, they start scrambling up it together.*

(Peter gets to the top first...but screams and turns right around and starts down the ladder again! Mike stops him on his way down. He says he saw four huge monsters leaning over him!)

(There are, indeed, four huge faces leaning over the table...four huge faces belonging to the kids. Jordan's eyes are wide.)

(Mike shakes his head and pushes Peter back up to the top of the table. Mike and Peter try to wave their arms and encourage the kids to take them into the kitchen again, but the kids aren't hearing anything of it. Jordan takes his daddy gently in his hand and strokes his fireman suit. He wants to know where he got it!)

(Katie turns to the twins. Since the mommies are busy, why don't they play with their daddies? They could bring them to the mommies when they're done!)

(Peter shakes his head; Mike's jaw drops. No way he's being a toy!)

(Katie nods at the twins and points to Micky and Davy, who continue to squabble. She shakes her finger at them. Naughty naughty daddies! Be nice!)

*Micky and Davy ignore everything but each other. Little Mick runs across the room to a kiddie basketball hoop. He pulls the plastic hoop off and returns to the coffee table. He giggles and sets the hoop down so Micky and Davy are trapped inside. They pause in their arguing and mouth obscenities that can't be mentioned due to the kids being around.*

(Katie takes her papa down to the floor where Lizzie is and shows him to Lizzie, then introduces him to all the dolls and stuffed animals on the floor. Katie tries to dress her papa in a nice Ken suit, but he pulls away and grumbles. She makes him dance with a Barbie doll. Lizzie laughs and claps, delighted by what looks to her like a doll who really moves!)

*Micky and Davy try to climb out of the plastic hoop cage they're stuck in, but it isn't working very well.*

(Jordan tries to move his daddy's limbs with his little hands, but he only succeeds in tickling his father.)

(Katie calls to the twins to come play with her and her papa and Lizzie! Bring their daddies!)

*Little Mick lifts the plastic hoop, freeing Davy and Micky. The younger Mick picks up his daddy while Shelly picks up Davy. They join Katie and Lizzie.*

(Mike groans as Katie sits them all down on a little tea set and table and chairs. She takes a few stuffed animals off the chairs and puts their daddies in them, then pretends to serve them tea.)

(Lizzie laughs so hard, she almost falls over.)

(Mike grumbles. He will not drink fake tea.)

(Jordan sets his daddy down on the coffee table. Peter climbs down the ladder and goes to join the others. He actually "drinks" the non-existant "tea" and proclaims it delicious! :D)

Mike: (As the music ends) This is the most embarrassin' thing we've ever done in any fanfiction.

Peter: I don't think so. The kids are having fun!

Katie: ("Pours" more tea) More, Papa? :)

Jordan: Me!

Peter: Me too!

Micky: Mike, it could be worse. They could've dressed us in Shelly's Barbie doll dresses.

Mike: Katie tried to put me in a Ken suit. It was too big!

Micky: Still ain't a dress.

(Emma, Lauren, and Daphne come in as the kids continue to "serve" their daddies "tea." Emma smiles at the scene.)

Emma: Aww, how cute! You kids enjoying your tea?

Katie: Yeah! With daddies!

Jordan: Daddy tea! :D

Emma: Pretending your daddies are here?

Shelly: Not pretending! :)

Mike: (Gets up from his chair) No, darlin', we're right here!

Micky: *stands ON his chair* BABE! *waves his arms* Down here!

(Lauren's leaning in a closet. She emerges with a vacumn cleaner.)

Emma: Why don't we take the kids upstairs while Auntie Lauren cleans up down here?

Mike: Cleans up? Oh man, I had enough of that in the kitchen!

Peter: Em! Lauren! Daph!

Micky: *chokes on a breath* Not the vaccuum!

Davy: Oh no...

Emma: Come on, sweetie. Why don't we take a nap? (She sweeps Katie into her arms)

Katie: Mama, no! Papa!

Emma: I'm sure Papa will be home soon, sweetie. He'll probably be home by the time you get back from your nap! :)

Jordan: Auntie Emma...

Little Mick: *sees Lauren approach with the vaccuum* Mommy, don’t vaccuum!

Shelly: Daddy...

Emma: Come on, Jordan. You too. (Takes Jordan's hand and leads him upstairs)

Lauren: *shakes her head* I can still vaccuum, no matter what your Daddy says. It isn't that heavy.

(Daphne takes Lizzie in one hand and takes Shelly's hand with the other.)

Daphne: Come on, guys. Maybe we'll read you a story!

(Emma comes down a few seconds later as we cut to the guys trying to get Lauren's attention, but she's too busy concentrating on the toys scattered about.)

Emma: (Sighs) Daph's up reading to the kids. (Makes a face) I wonder where the guys went? It doesn't take this long to go for a drink.

Mike: (Ducks around a teddy bear that fell on him) Darlin', we're right here!

Lauren: *straightens; a few stuffed animals in her arms* Although, considering it's them, Mick and Davy probably ended up arguing over something or other and are currently trying to outdo each other at the nearest pinball machine. *drops the animals around the guys again*

Emma: Yeah, but Mike and Peter wouldn't be. Maybe they all decided to go to the studio.

Peter: No, we're right down here!

Mike: Like hell I wouldn't let them play pinball while we're rehearsin'. They tried that and I'd fry their asses.

*Micky and Davy glare at Mike.*

Lauren: *shrugs* Maybe they did. Whereever they went, when they get back, we'll have a few things to talk to them about. Like how to leave a note. :P

Emma: That's what worries me. Mike and Peter would normally leave a note. Peter leaves notes that are four feet wide.

Lauren: Whereas Mick is notorious for NOT leaving notes. And Davy, from what Daph has said, is the same way.

Emma: Lauren, how are you feeling? I know the baby is due soon, if not any day.

Lauren: *sighs* Anxious, irritated, tense, annoyed, worried, and why not? I'm just hoping to make it to the hospital BEFORE the delivery this time.

Micky: *eyes widen a bit* Oh God.

Emma: Well, Daph's here and can drive you, and the cars are here, and it's a nice, sunny day, so there should be no problems this time.

Mike: You hope, darlin'.

(Peter elbows Mike.)

*Micky groans.*

Lauren: Key word: "should." :P

Emma: As long as your kid doesn't decide to come out during rush hour traffic in LA, but I'm sure we could always flag down a doctor who's stuck in traffic.

Lauren: *pats her stomach* No ideas, please.

Mike: (Looks at Micky) We've somehow gotta get the girls' attention.

Peter: (Frowns) Lauren put the fire truck on the couch! We'll never get it there!

(Lauren's vacumn cleaner is getting awfully close to the guys...)

Lauren: *sighs* Besides, I've felt a few minor contractions all morning. They're still far apart and not too bad, but...

Micky: *eyes widen* WHAT!?

Mike: Shit.

Peter: Oh no!

Davy: Oh man...

Emma: Maybe you ought to lie down.

Lauren: *shakes her head* No, I'm afraid if I stop doing things, they'll come quicker. I want Mick here first. I don't want him to miss it. *pushes the vaccuum extremely close to the guys*

Micky: *screams* BABE! DOWN HERE! *waves his arms frantically*

Davy: They can't 'ear us, Mick! Come on! *grabs Micky's arm and pulls him away from the path of the vaccuum*

(Mike does the same with Peter. :o )

Mike: Um, guys, maybe we'd better get outta here.

Peter: We're gonna get sucked into a vacumn, and we're not even in the movie!

Mike: I'm afraid to ask what's in there. This is Mick's house.

*The vaccuum pulls back, pauses, the practically barrels down on the guys, who still hold onto each other. The vaccuum pulls back again and the guys are no longer in sight.*