Mike: (Angrily) I know he's harming our king!

Nyle: Might wanna stop shaking me, man!

Mike: (Finally lets Nyles go) Why did he give you the talisman? Neither you nor your woman know anything about its magic!

Nyles: I don't know why he gave them to us! We just think they're groovy looking.

Danny: Man, could you quit squishin' us? When was the last time you took a shower?

*Nyles sticks his tongue out.*

Mike: Look, we'd like to get outta here, so would you mind taking your nasty breath and your chick and go to somewhere else?

Nyles: No way, man! I ain't hurting anything!

John: (Pulls further away from him) Not hurtin' anything? That breath could kill a moose at thirty paces!

Nyles: And you're a wuss!

John: And you're a drunk idiot!

Mike: Look, we just want to leave.

Danny: Yeah!

John: So, if you'll just get outta our way... (The guys try to squeeze around Nyles and his men, to no avail)

Mike: Outta our way, pal.

Nyles: No way, man! You'll have to MAKE me!

Mike: You bet we can. (Mike decks Nyles right in the chin as "The Kind of Girl I Could Love" begins) Ow! (He reels back, holding his fist) Damn man, you have a hard chin!

Nyles: *staggers* Ow! You got a hard fist!

John: (He puts his staff under another guard and flips him over the bar) You want liquor? Go and get it!

Danny: (Grabs a chair and holds it against a guard like a lion tamer) Back, back, ye foul breath!

(Mike wrestles Nyles to the floor.)

(Jessie passes by Marcus, Chris, and two guards. One wink of her eye and sway of her hips, and they're all following her, drooling.)

(John swings one guy over his shoulder and into another guy!)

(Danny and John duck as two guys come at them at once. The guards hit each other and pass out.)

(Chris grabs a swordfish from someone's plate and uses it to duel with one of the guards!)

*Nyles tries to crawl away in the midst of the chaos.*

Mike: Oh no, you don't. (He grabs Nyles' legs)

(Jessie comes through as John and Davy wrestle with one of the guards. They take off after her and the relieved guard goes in the other direction.)

(Chris lets out a loud, long burp that knocks down the three guards who were coming after him.)

(John, Davy, and Marcus lift a table and use it to shove three guards out the door!)

(Nyles and Mike are wrestling again. Nyles finally pins Mike to the ground as the music ends.)

Mike: Hey! (He struggles; whispers) Ugh. Your breath really DOES reek! I mean, really. Nyles, what have you been drinkin'? The liquor was supposed to be watered down!

Nyles: *grins* Really? Tasted just fine to me.

Mike: Nyles, if you've been drinkin' the real stuff, Em'll kill you...and us!

Nyles: Then I guess I'm dead.

Mike: (Out loud) Let me go, Captain! I have no desire to end up in Lord George's foul prison.

Nyles: His dungeon isn't foul! It's cleaned weekly!

Mike: You know what I mean, Captain. I'll not be a prisoner of that insane warlock.

Nyles: Georgie isn't insane! A little crazy and very wild, but...

Mike: For pete's sake, man, LET ME GO!

Myles: *gets off* Alright, man, alright! Geez...

Mike: (Nods) Good. (He holds out his sword) We want to leave your Lord George a little warnin'.

Nyles: Uh, okay.

John: (Nods and holds up his staff) He and his men should be careful when travelin', 'cause this area is now under protection.

Mike: And we don't take kindly to those who mess with innocent people.

Danny: Yeah! We'll make sure no one in Belgravia ever has to go hungry or be harassed by Lord George's guards ever again!

Jessie: How romantic!

Nyles: Gee, you guys don't hold grudges at all.

Mike: Now, don't take this personally. It's not you, Captain. It's whom you work for.

Nyles: Can I just do my drinking now, please?

Mike: Be our guest. (He and his boys take off while Nyles sits down)

Nyles: *sighs* Man, I thought they'd never leave us alone.

Jessie: What was that all about?

Nyles: *shrugs* How should I know?

Jessie: You know, the short guy and the guy with the mandolin were familiar.

Nyles: Were they? *shrugs*

Jessie: Yeah. I've seen them before, somewhere.

Jessie: (Leans over and calls Jack) Hey, do you recognize those men?

Jack: *shrugs* Everybody looks familiar to me.

Jessie: Darn it! I wish I knew where I'd seen them before!

Jessie: Nyles, do you think we ought to tell Lord George about those men? They did mention him.

Nyles: *nods* We'd better. He ain't gonna be happy.

Jessie: I know. Those weren't empty threats those guys were makin', and they do a good bar brawl.

Jessie: (Turns to Nyles) We'd better party first, though.

Nyles: Now, you're talkin'!

Jessie: (Turns back to Jack) More ale for everyone! On us!

(Everyone gathers around Nyles and Jessie as the Inn set slides out and the Castle set slides back in, along with more feminine furniture to represent Queen Valeria's room. We cut backstage as the next set is readied and the ladies get into position.)

Mike: (Sees Lauren) Hey Laur. How's things going back here?

Lauren: Not bad at the moment.

Mike: Where's Mick? Still giving orders?

Lauren: Yes, and he’s really starting to bug me.

Mike: Maybe someone ought to talk some sense into him. (Grins) This IS my real sword, you know.

Lauren: Be my guest, Mike. Anything I say is just going right over his head.

Mike: Where did you last see him?

Lauren: Playing with the sound effects.

Mike: Is that what has him all hot and bothered? Everything's sounded fine to me!

Lauren: That's barely part of it. He just doesn't seem to think anything we're doing is good enough.

Mike: I hope he hasn't told Em that. She's been on pins and needles about how the show would be received as it is!

Lauren: I have no idea of what he's told her, if anything.

Mike: Well, she's goin' on stage right now. I'd better see if I can have a chat with him, before he has a chat with her and gets her all upset. (Sighs) Where's the sound effects kept?

Lauren: Just beyond the dressing rooms.

Mike: Thanks. (Grins) Now, you go scare Em and the other girls real good out there. I wanna hear they were pissin' their pants.

Lauren: *grins* Will do.

*Lauren heads off to meet up with the other ladies.*

Mike: Mick! Micky! (He goes in the direction Lauren indicated, down a long corridor to a row of doors. He ducks down another corridor near the stage and slows up when he sees a curly head) Mick!

Micky: *looks up at Mike* Mike, what's going on? I'm a little busy here getting the next batch of sound effects in order.

Mike: Don't we have people to do that?

Micky: Yeah, but they weren't doing very well.

Mike: Sounded fine to me, to Lauren, and I'm sure to the audience.

Micky: *makes a face, shaking his head* Not to me! The timing was off, they weren't loud enough, and some were missing altogether!

Mike: Micky, did anyone besides you notice that?

Micky: *plants his fists on his hips* Well, I haven't really had the chance to ask every single member of the audience what they think.

Mike: All I've heard is applause.

Micky: *aggravated, throwing his arms out* How could I expect you to understand?!

Mike: What do you mean? Micky, the show's going great! I'd think you'd be thrilled!

Micky: *pinches the bridge of his nose* It isn't enough!

Mike: Micky, what do you want? We're not perfect, and the only actual professional actor out there right now is Davy!

Micky: So? That doesn't mean we can't have some Hollywood-worthy performances from everyone, including the crew!

Mike: Mick, it's just a one-time charity show. We're doing it to have fun and earn money for the Starlight House. (Raises an eyebrow) Or is there something else?

Micky: *appears to know something* What something else? There isn't something else. Why would you think there's something else?

Mike: Because you're two steps to freakin’ out over nothin'.

Micky: *voice goes up an octave* No, I'm not!

Mike: (Puts a hand on Micky's shoulder) Micky, just promise me you'll try to calm down a little. It could really effect your performance, and it's drivin' all of us crazy.

Micky: But... *frowns* Mike, I found out that there's a Hollywood big-wig out in the audience. He's looking for anyone that can put on a great show, whether they're an actor or crew member. *sighs* I wanna be discovered...again.

Mike: Micky, I think they'll like us all a little better if we follow Em's script and don't freak out in the middle of the show.

Micky: I just want a great performance, that's all. I wanna do everything I can to show Em's script for all its greatness. This could be an opportunity for all of us *pauses* It could also be the last opportunity...

Mike: It won't be the last opportunity, Mick.

Micky: Mike, we pissed off most of Columbia! They had to have spread word by now! I'm surprised there's anyone from Hollywood in the audience! I need to do everything in my power to get him to notice something!

Mike: Micky, I understand THAT. I'm scared too, buddy.

Micky: Well, I'm afraid...maybe I've taken on too much. What if I screw up and ruin it for everyone?

Mike: Why don't you ask folks for some help? I'm sure Emilio and Millie and Larry would be willing to take on a few extra tasks.

Micky: Because I always want to do so much, and then I feel guilty when I realize I'm doing too much. *sighs* Maybe I'd better let the sound effects folks back in here...

Mike: That'll help. It'll make them happier, too.

Micky: *as they leave the room* Why do I keep doing this? I know full well I'm taking on too much, but I just keep doing the same thing.

Mike: 'Cause you want to do everything at once.

Micky: *frowns* Yeah, but I can't BE everywhere at once. *they pause as they see Emilio duck out of the electricians booth* Okay, I stand corrected.

Mike: (Laughs) Maybe we'd better go see what Emilio is up to. We don't want things to get too confusing.

*Emilio waves as he sees the guys headed in his direction.*

Emilio: Hey fellas! How's it going out there?

Micky: It's going pretty good.

Mike: If some people can quit panicking.

Emilio: *gives Micky a half grin* Let me guess.

Micky: 'Milo...

Emilio: What? I didn't say anything!

Micky: No, but I have a pretty good idea of what you were thinking.

Emilio: I can't help it if I can tell when you're bouncing off the wall with worry.

Micky: 'Milo!

Emilio: What? Mike already knows. Geez.

*Micky rubs at the bridge of his nose again.*

Emilio: *grins* You know, you wouldn't get that headache if you'd wear your glasses...ever!

Micky: Stop it!

Emilio: What?

Mike: Keep going! You guys are fun to watch.

Micky and Emilio: Mike! *they glare at each other*

(Mike just bursts into laughter.)

Micky: *sighs* Dammit... *Pulls his glasses from a pocket on the inside of his costume and puts them on. Emilio claps.*

Micky: Knock it off, 'Milo.

Mike: Have you considered gettin' contacts, Mick? Em really likes hers, and they wouldn't give you headaches or smart-ass clones.

Micky: *makes a face* Not really. I can't get past the feeling of putting a finger that close to my eyes.

Emilio: *reaches out* Here, let me help you get over that problem.

Micky: *grabs his wrist* Don't do that.

Emilio: I'm just trying to help, that's all.

Mike: Look, the girls are probably already on. Emilio, you'd better go back to the electrician's booth before someone sees you.

Emilio: *nods* Yeah, I just needed to stretch my legs a minute. I'll see you fellas later. Good luck out there. *nudges Micky* Break a leg.

Micky: *groans* Geez, I hope not.

*Emilio waves over his shoulder as he heads back to the electricians' booth.*

Mike: Why don't we go back to the dressing room? We have a while before we're on again. Let's work on our lines with Pete and Davy.

Micky: *nods* Yeah, I'd like that.