(We open back on the Throne Room set. Lauren sits on one of the thrones, drumming her fingers. Micky, Nyles, and Jessie enter. None of them look especially happy. Micky practically has smoke coming out of his ears. Nyles and Micky both look a bit worse for the wear, with bruises and rumpled clothing.)

Jessie: (Tries to smile) Uh, hi, Lady Lauren! You're looking well today!

Lauren: Don't give me that. What happened?

Jessie: We sorta got ambushed.

*Micky stomps his way over to the other throne and plops on it.*

Lauren: *to Micky* It went that well, huh?

*Micky just grumbles.*

Jessie: These really cute noblemen came in and said they wanted to buy something, and we almost got them to, but these two other guys in capes ended up saving the ladies and kissing them! (Sighs) It was really romantic. So, we don't have the ladies anymore, and we kinda lost some money too.

Lauren: That would explain why George is about to explode.

Jessie: Uh oh. (Looks around) Nyles, maybe we should get out of here. If he's going to explode, we don't want to be around. We might get some of him on us.

Nyles: *nods* Yeah, let’s get out while we can.

Jessie: (Sees Micky stomp around, muttering and growling) Um, yeah. You know, I think I left a cake in the oven in the kitchen. (Looks at Nyles) Didn't I, sweetie?

Nyles: Yeah, and I left the iron on!

Jessie: (As Micky glares at them) Bye! (Wiggles her fingers, grabs Nyles, and hurries out)

Micky: (Goes center stage, throws up his hands, and lets out a long, loud scream that fills the theater) BLASSSTTT! (Turns to Lauren and grins) That felt goooood!

Lauren: Sounded like it. Feel better?

Micky: Yes. (He throws up his arms) I can't believe this!

Lauren: Two guys in capes rescued them?

Micky: Yeah! (Flails his arms again) And I think I saw a little of the taller guy when we fought. He looked really familiar. (Narrows his eyes) And his sword sure did. He had the Diamond Sword!

Lauren: *frowns* That is NOT good.

Micky: I couldn't tell if he had the talisman or not under his cape. (Yells) If he has the sword, what do I have, a fishing knife?

Lauren: A Swiss Army knife would be preferable.

Micky: Blast it, I took the Diamond Sword from Lord Michael! (Holds it up) This is it! (Fingers his talisman) This is the Diamond Talisman! How could there be two of these swords?

Lauren: Someone seems to have made a duplicate.

Micky: Blast! (He growls) How could Michael be alive? I sent my men to kill him!

Lauren: They aren't the brightest bulbs in the chandelier.

Micky: I should have known better to believe them when they told me "We killed him, bye!" and took off.

Lauren: I told you not to contact Rent-A-Guard.

Micky: There has to be a way to draw them out of hiding and find out if Michael and David really are alive and that Michael really does have the Diamond Sword and Talisman.

Lauren: *grins* We could kidnap the Queen.

Micky: If her blasted guards would let us. The other two are probably already telling her about us.

Lauren: How about we send them on a mission? We'll just get them out of here, and we'll kidnap the remaining guards along with the Queen.

Micky: That could work. We'd have to distract Lady Barria, too. I know that was her who helped those cloaked figures rescue the Head Guards.

Lauren: Lady Barria mentioned something about taking a trip.

Micky: So she's not here, nor likely to be here for a while?

Lauren: Exactly.

Micky: Why don't you go this time, babe? I'll assign Captain Nyles and his assistant to another part of the castle. (Makes a face) Frankly, if they weren't so easy to control, I would have turned them into pigs a long time ago.

Lauren: *nods* What we need this time is some major brain power. *smirks* You and I combined are unstoppable.

Micky: Exactly. The Captain and his so-called "apprentice" couldn't think their way out of a fallen log.

Lauren: They couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Micky: So, how are we going to get our hands on Her Majesty? She is pregnant, you know. I don't want to harm that child of hers.

Lauren: We could just do something as simple as putting her to sleep.

Micky: That could work. Or we could even just grab her and tie her up lightly. Make her squeal a little. (He looks happily evil)

Lauren: *sighs* I love your evil smirk.

Micky: Thank you. So do I. (As the set for the Queen's room rolls out) Shall we have a chat with Her Majesty?

Lauren: Let’s.

(Kimberly and Jenny stand outside the door, their halberds raised. Maxine and Valerie sit inside as Maxine brushes Valerie's hair.)

Kimberly: Hark, who goes there?

Micky: Lord George and Lady Lauren to see the Queen.

Kimberly: (Narrows her eyes) Why do you wish to see the Queen?

Micky: We wish to speak with her about some concerns.

Kimberly: You may pass. (Frowns) But don't think we won't have our eyes on you.

Micky: *grins and waggles his eyebrows* And why not?

*Lauren rolls her eyes.*

Kimberly: Mind out of the gutter, frizz-head. We don't want you doing to our Queen what we KNOW you're doin' to the King.

(Kimberly and Jenny move their halberds...but they peer in the door as Mick and Lauren enter.)

Lauren: *turns back briefly* Eyes to yourselves. *closes the door after them*

Jenny: How did they get the best characters?

Kimberly: Watch and learn, dear. They may have the best characters (She makes a small hole in the door with her halberd) but we have the best weapons. They'll go through anything...even a wooden door.

Jenny: Very nice.

(Kimberly and Jenny lean against the hole they've made, peering in. Micky and Lauren go to either side of Valerie as Maxine continues to brush her hair.)

Valerie: Hello, your Lord and Ladyship. What brings you here this afternoon?

Micky: We wish to speak with you about a couple of important matters... *glances at Maxine* ...in private, if we could.

Valerie: Whatever you can say to me, you can say in front of my guards.

Micky: I'm afraid it's also rather personal, my Queen.

Valerie: How personal? (Looks over her shoulder as Maxine puts her tiara on) Does it concern Peter?

*Micky nods once.*

Valerie: Very well. Maxina, please leave us. (Whispers so the audience can hear) But remain just outside the door. I don't trust them after what Lady Lauren did the other day.

Maxine: Right. (She leaves...but joins the other two Abbies at the door)

Valerie: Very well. (She turns as well as she can to Micky and Lauren) What is it you want? If it's about Peter...

Micky: He hasn't been feeling very well & we're worried about him.

Valerie: I am, too. He's been behaving so strangely. One minute, he'll be distant and aloof, and the next, all he wants to do is... (blushes) ...well, he's affectionate and charming. It's not like him to have such mood swings!

Lauren: Has he said anything about why he's acting this way?

Valerie: No. I'll ask him about it, but he'll get this dazed look and just change the subject. I wish there were a way to get through to him...

Micky: Perhaps we could help.

Valerie: (As the Abbies lean closer to the door) How? The last time I let you "help" (glares at Lauren) I felt like I'd had five pints of ale all at once for hours.

(Valerie starts to stand, but Micky and Lauren surround her.)

Valerie: What...what are you doing? (Steps back)

Micky: We need you to help us with Peter.

Valerie: Of course I'll help with him! I want to do whatever I can for him. I want him back the way he used to be, before we... well, I want him to be the man he was when we were promised to each other.

Micky: I think we can manage that, but we need you as well.

Valerie: But...he hasn't been listening to me...

Micky: Do you trust us?

Valerie: Yes...no...well....

Kimberly: (From behind the door) NO!

Jenny: *also from behind the door* Shhh!

Valerie: (Shakes her head and goes to the door to block it) I really don't think I should go anywhere with you.

Micky: We think you should.

*Lauren locks the door.*

Lauren: Oh, the latch slipped!

Valerie: I don't think I should. (Narrows her eyes) And I give the commands here.

Maxine: (From outside the door) Let us in!

Kimberly: Sorry we're going to have to do this to the set, but... (There's a chopping noise at the door)

Maxine: (As the door breaks down) Gotcha!

Kimberly: (Thought you were going to outsmart us, huh?

Lauren: As a matter of fact, yes, we did...and we have.

Kimberly: (As she and Jenny come to a screeching stop; Maxine pokes Micky lightly with her halberd) Huh?

Valerie: What do you mean?

*Micky holds out both hands, cupped together. A brightly colored ball forms in his hands, then floats out of his hands. As it floats past, Maxine, Kimberly, and Jenny, it makes each of the women disappear. The audiences gasps, trying to figure out the trick.*

Valerie: (Gasps herself) Girls! How did you do that? (Leans over Micky) Um...how DID you do that? You didn't do that in rehearsal! There was a puff of smoke, and they went offstage!

Micky: *winks, then whispers* Very realistic, don't you think?

Valerie: Too much. (Out loud) What have you done with my Guards? Where are they?

Micky: *cups the ball in one hand* They're in here.

Valerie: What!? (And indeed, we hear the voices of the three Abbies crying out)

Kimberly: Hey! This wasn't in the script! Let us out!

Maxine: My queen, find Lady Emily and Maid Daphne!

Jenny: It's freaky in here!

Valerie: But they're on a mission together in the Olidala region!

(Valerie steps back as Lauren comes closer to her, her smirk growing wider.)

Valerie: What...what are you going to do to me?

Lauren: We're taking you with us.

Valerie: But...where?

Micky: The Parched Mountains, where else?

Maxine: (From in the ball) Nooo!

Kimberly: Don't you hurt her!

Valerie: The Parched Mountains? But only criminals and evil spirits go there!

Micky: And bait.

Valerie: Bait?

Micky: See that? I've already said too much.

Valerie: Bait for whom?

Maxine: Our Queen isn't a worm on a hook!

Kimberly: You let us out, you creep!

Micky: *gives the ball a shake* Hush, all of you.

Valerie: I won't go to the Parched Mountains! You free my Guards this instant!

Micky: Not a chance.

*Lauren snakes her fingers around and touches Valerie's forehead.*

Valerie: Lauren, what are you...ohhh... (She groans as Lauren rubs her forehead) Oh, I feel so strange...

Maxine: What are you doing to our Queen?

Lauren: She needs to relax a little.

Valerie: (Collapses gently on the bed) I feel so light-headed...I must sit down...

Maxine: What are you going to do to her?

*Micky ties up Valerie lightly, still smirking.*

Valerie: Oooh... (Leans on Micky's shoulder; giggles) You're cute.

Micky: Thanks, but that's beside the point.

Kimberly: Let her go!

Maxine: And us too!

*Micky grins as he, Lauren, Valerie, and the ball begin to disappear.*

(They all completely vanish in a blast of blue light as we fade out and the stagehands ready the Parched Mountains set.)