Mike: Everyone ready to take those pirates down?

Peter: I am.

Micky: Ready.

Davy: Me too.

(We open with a stock shot of a small armored ship that's not unlike a small battle cruiser. There's another shot of the Monkeemobile next to it.)

(Cut to inside the cruiser. A group of men and women in suits pass through the hallway, followed by another group. They also wear suits, but they're decidedly more Asian-looking. Two naval officers in uniform drag Mike and Micky up to the people in suits; they're followed by the others. All of the MonkeeLeague also wear conservative suits now; Peter's long hair is pulled back into a low ponytail.)

Naval Officer: (Holds Micky by the collar) Mr. Daniels, we found this unauthorized group loitering around the main deck.

Mike: Mr. Daniels, my name is Mr. Michael Nesmith. My company, First National, and I would like to discuss possible agreements in the use of your equipment for our newest projects.

Mr. Daniels: (Exchanges looks with one of the Japanese men and frowns) We weren't notified of this.

Valerie: We have all the proper papers.

Mr. Daniels: (He pulls out a clipboard and flips through papers) It isn't mentioned on here at all. I'll have to have some kind of notification.

Davy: *He's had his hands behind his back, but brings them forward, paper in hand* I'm sorry, I forgot to put this in with the rest of the papers.

Mike: Thank you, Mr. Jones. (Whispers to Davy) Thanks, man. Imagined them?

Davy: Yes.

Mike: Good work. (Turns to Mr. Daniels) Well, do we check out?

Mr. Daniels: (Nods) Everything appears to be in order. (Makes a face) I just wish you'd contacted us sooner.

Mike: We didn't have the time, sir.

Mr. Daniels: Very well. (To the officer) Officer Logan, you can put Mr. Nesmith's co-worker down now.

Peter: You ok, Mick?

Micky: *Winces* Yeah, though sitting may not be my favorite thing to do for the next few hours.

Mr. Daniels: (To a woman next to him) Ms. Hunter, I want you to place a call to shore and find out if this Nesmith is really legitimate. There's something strange about all this.

(The woman nods and heads in the opposite direction as the MonkeeLeague follows Mr. Daniels and his colleagues down the hall.)

Mike: (Leans over Micky) We're gonna have to play this carefully. If we give it away that we're not a real company, these guys may throw us in the brig before we can warn them about the pirates...or worse.

Micky: No kidding.

Mike: Just stay cool. And DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.

Micky: Right, man.

Mr. Daniels: Here's the main storage room for the equipment. It's heavily guarded, of course. (There's two guards by the door, both dressed in the naval cadet uniforms. They nod when they see Daniels. He then pushes a series of buttons on a small control panel near the door. When the buttons glow red, the door slides open.)

Valerie: Impressive.

Mike: Why the guards when you have a security system?

Mr. Daniels: Mr. Nesmith, we're not fools, and neither are the people we're dealing with. We know there's pirates in these waters.

(They enter a huge room filled from top to bottom with crates of parts, wires, and sometime strange pieces of electrical equipment, computers, and even what looks like missiles already put together.)

Mike: (Sees Micky's eyes gleam) Micky Dolenz, don't you DARE touch anything!

*Micky forces an innocent grin.*

Mr. Daniels: (Shows them a series of crates) These crates house the most intricate and complex computer ever created. It can hold, record, and analyze more data than any other computer currently on the market. We're in discussions with Mr. Furiyata and his people (nods at one of the Japanese men) to get the American distribution rights for this remarkable machine.

Mike: Amazin', sir.

Mr. Daniels: What did you say your company produced again, Mr. Nesmith?

Mike: Records, actually. We're a music company that hopes to move from recording music and into the business of selling not only records themselves, but record players, 8-track players, and other such items.

Mr. Daniels: Then this will be of interest to you. (The group moves to another crate. Mr. Daniels pulls on a pair of wool gloves and delicately opens the crate, inch by inch. He finally removes a thick boxy item from the straw packing material) Behold, the next revolution in music marketing. This remarkable device actually uses records that have been recorded with images, instead of sound. (He takes a plastic case from another crate and inserts it in the machine) However, you can never take the record out of it's plastic sleeve. They're very fragile and can be damaged by the slightest touch. An arm inside the machine does it for you. We have a buyer in the United States that's very interested in that. (Hands Micky a disk) Would you like to try it, sir?

(The man removes the disk that's already in the slot. Two of the Japanese men pull out a small, thin television.)

Mike: What happened to the rest of that TV? Shark ate it?

Mr. Daniels: That is the latest in broadcasting technology. It uses some of the latest digital advances to give you a crystal-clear screen without all of the tubes and wires that modern televisions have.

(Micky inserts the case in the machine. There's a small "whirr," and an image shows up on the screen. It looks like the 1963 version of "Cleopatra.")

Mr. Daniels: Soon, Americans will never have to go to a movie theater and deal with the hassle of rude patrons, expensive food, dirty and cramped seats, and a film that pops and snaps and runs the risk of breaking half-way through. They'll be able to bring home all of the latest hits and old-time favorites!

Mike: Very impressive, Mr. Daniels. (Frowns - Micky and Davy are watching the nubile young women in flowing robes flit across the screen with a little too much interest) Guys! (Smacks Micky)

Micky: Ow! *Rubs where Mike hit him* Do you see how clear that picture is?!

Mike: Too clear for my likin'.

Mr. Daniels: You'll especially like this. (He leads Mike, Peter, and the girls over to another crate...but Micky and Davy sneak over to the Selectivision.)

Micky: *leans over the machine* Wonder if they'd mind if I took a closer look?

Davy: I dunno, mate. Mike did say not to touch nuthin'...

Micky: I just wanna look.

Ms. Hunter: (She runs in) Mr. Daniels!

Mr. Daniels: Yes?

Ms. Hunter: (Glares at Mike) I just got through to the mainland. There's no such company as First National, and no one authorized anyone to board the ship today. Not here, and not in Japan.

Mr. Daniels: Who are you then, young man?

Mike: Sir, we are part of a music company, but it's a small one. What we're really here today is to warn you. We had word that... (Suddenly, something slams into the ship! Everyone is thrown to the ground, including the Selectavision.)

*Micky dives for and catches the Selectavision.*

(There's a load of Japanese cursing from the oriental group...and some very English swearing from Mr. Daniels.)

Officer Logan: (Runs in) We're being boarded by pirates, sir!

Mr. Daniels: Send all officers above-decks and make sure they're armed! We won't let these jackals get the equipment they're after! (He pulls the cover off another piece of equipment...what looks like a huge telescope-type machine.) These lasers can shoot at anything with pinpoint accuracy, more accurate - and deadly - than any current nuclear weapon. If they get those on the black market and sell it to the Soviets or the Red Chinese, it could be catastrophic!

Mr. Furiyata: What is the meaning of this? We had no interest in missiles! Our organization would pay millions for the Selectivision technology! It's light years ahead of anything on the market!

Mr. Daniels: Why do you think the Navy's here? This is for American military brass!

Mike: (Hears the sound of cannons and guns firing) I think we'd better join the Navy up there.

Mr. Daniels: You, Mr. Nesmith?

Mike: My people and I have some...experience...in hand-to-hand combat.

Mr. Daniels: But...

Mike: You get this equipment in lockdown and make sure it stays guarded, then you take your people into the lounge area and lock yourselves in. We know what we're doing.

Mr. Daniels: Who are you? You seem familiar...

Mike: Friends, Mr. Daniels. (There's a blue light around all six. When it subsides, they're gone. The remaining men and women look around for them in surprise.)

(The group appears on deck. They now wear their uniforms and carry their weapons.)

Peter: How are we going to explain the blue light to them?

Mike: At this point, I don't care. We'll figure that out later. Right now, we have to stop those pirates from taking the equipment and get the soul machine, or at least find out where it is.

Captain Harris: (Cut to the pirates, who fight with the Navy officers; points to the MonkeeLeague) Don't we know those people?

Pirate #1: They're the people we attacked that didn't have any loot! :P

Pirate #2: And I think they dumped seaweed on us, too! :P

Captain Harris: I think we can do away with these interfering land-lubbers. (Points his gun at the MonkeeLeague) Keel haul them, lads!

Pirates: Huh?

Captain Harris: Old-time pirate talk for "kill 'em."

Pirate #1: Let's kill 'em!

("Take a Giant Step" begins as the pirates run up to the MonkeeLeague, swords brandished. Mike concentrates...and suddenly, four of the pirates now hang from their pants by a pole.)

(Peter concentrates. Three more pirates find that their guns have curled up into knots.)

(Valerie concentrates on two of the pirates who pant over her. When the blue light around them subsides, they now wear dresses, heels, lipstick, and show off hairy legs. They try to cover their legs as other pirates around them whistle.)

(Two of the pirates chase Micky around a pole, trying to catch him with rope.)

*Micky laughs as he runs. Suddenly a tether ball appears, which he slugs, sending it sailing back into the pirates, knocking them over.*

(Davy and Daphne imagine a pink and blue line between them and clothesline several pirates overboard.)

Sheila: (She arrives onboard, speaking over the music) What's going... (Suddenly, she gets a pie in the face. Cut to Micky and Mike, who now have a cart full of pies.)

(Pirates are getting pelted with pies in all directions. Alex, who has followed Sheila onboard, tries to go after Micky, but he's hit with a pie instead.)

Sheila: Enough, White Knight! You're going down! (She pulls out her onyx-handled sword. Mike pulls out his diamond one, and the two start dueling.)

*Alex and Davy end up dueling.*

(Daphne grins and concentrates. A bucket overturns on Zelda's head. It's full of fish! A trio of cats run up to her and start sniffing around her, looking for dinner.)

*Zelda cries out, disgusted and annoyed.*

(Valerie concentrates. There's another blue light around Zelda. Now she's dressed as a fish...and the cats still circle her.)

(Peter shoots arrows at two pirates. Instead of piercing them, the moment they hit them, they turn into two ballerinas, complete with tutus. They flit off, doing awkward pirouettes.)

(Daphne spears a pie. She uses her spear as a lever to send the pie right into Captain Harris' face.)

Sheila: (Pushes Mike against a cabin as the music winds down) Damn it, White Knight! What are you doing here?

Mike: I could ask you the same thing, Devil Woman.

Sheila: We're going to take the souls of all those important people down there! (Smirks) And our good friends the pirates just want to sell the goods.

Mike: Nothin' doin'.

*Alex manages to knock Davy's sword away.*

(And jumps away as a spear pokes him in the back! We see Daph behind him with her rose quartz spear, grinning.)

Captain Harris: I sent some of my men down to get the equipment. They're loading it onto the boat as we speak.

Mike: Shit! (He tries to break free of Sheila, but she keeps pushing him)

Sheila: How's your little Scholar, Knight? As feisty and passionate as ever?

Mike: Drop dead, you bitch! You DESTROYED her!

Shiela: Good! (Smirks) Of course, we could make a deal...

Mike: Yeah?

Peter: Michael, no! Don't make deals with her!

Sheila: Your soul for hers, Knight.

Mike: I...I...

(Suddenly, we hear more gun fire from the side of the ship! Valerie and Peter run to the starboard side to see stock shots of Navy cruisers, guns primed and ready!)

Valerie: And the calvary arrives!

Peter: Daniels and his people must have called for more help.

*Daphne and Davy work on tying up some of the pirates.*

Sheila: Think it over, Knight.

Captain Harris: Come on, Miss Saunders! We'll have to leave the rest of the equipment. The Navy's getting too damn close!

Sheila: (Gives Mike a very deep kiss and pushes him aside) Come on, Alex. Zelda, stop playing with the cats.

(Mike stands there, dumbfounded.)

Zelda: *Aggravated* I'm trying! What do you think I'm doing!?

Alex: *Joins Sheila* Let’s get outta here.

(The devils follow the pirates back onto their ship. Mike still stands there, his eyes a million miles away.)

Peter: I think we'd better leave, too. We'll never be able to explain our presence to the Navy. Mr. Daniels can tell them everything they need to know.

Mike: Uhh, right.

Micky: *Waves a hand in front of Mike's face* Yoo hoo? Anyone home in there?

Mike: Yeah. I'm ok.

Peter: We'll talk about it when we're back in Ursula. Micky, you get yourself and Mike out of here. I don't think he's up for using his powers right now.

Mike: Yeah...

Micky: No problem, Pete. *Gives Mike a look*

(Mike only nods.)

Peter: Let's go, everyone. (There's a blue light around the group, and they disappear...just before the Navy arrives onboard and we fade out.)