Not much time, so...everyone ready to buckle some swash? ;)

Mike: As long as there's no real waves under me, I'm ready to go. ;)

Lauren: Yeah!

Davy: Let's go, people! :D

Peter: This is going to be so much fun! :D

Valerie: All right!

Micky: I'm ready! :D

(Daphne nods.)

(Everyone else cheers or burps, depending on how lucid they are. ;) )

(The group gathers around the back of the curtain as Davy pulls Daphne backstage. The others greet them as the townspeople and the Govenor hurry onstage and the sets change.)

Davy: (Grins) Hi, guys. :)

(Daphne gives them a little wave. :) )

Kimberly: Daph! Are you ok?

(Daphne nods and smiles. :) )

Davy: I'm going to 'ave to restore 'er voice here...

(He finally kisses her. She's surrounded by dark blue light. She's dazed when it subsides.)

Daphne: Wow.... ;) :X

Davy: Are you all right, luv?

Daphne: (Nods) Yes, but...how did I end up back here? The last thing I remember is Shelia restoring my size upstairs in the prop room.

Davy: Luv, she used you to as part of 'er plot to get Jane Turnah out of the show.

Daphne: (Screams) WHAT? X(

Davy: Shhh! Not so loud, luv! They can 'ear ya onstage!

Daphne: I don't remember anything. How I got into this dress, being onstage...

Maxine: Are you ok now?

Daphne: Yeah, I...(frowns) What are you guys doing here? (Eyes widen as she sees the crowd milling around with the show's chorus) What's EVERYONE doing here?

Lillian: Saving your rear end, girl. ;)

Jenny: We came after you!

Daphne: Me? But...(frowns)...why are you all dressed as pirates?

Lauren: Having some fun. ;)

Mike: Savin' Jane Turner.

Daphne: HER? I thought she was in cahoots with Shelia.

John: Seems she wanted the middle-aged chick out of the way instead.

Peter: (Pokes his head outside of the curtain, then pulls it back in, his eyes wide.) Guys, she's out there! :o

Joe: Who?

Davy: Give you three guesses. (Makes a face) And since you guys will be all night guessing, it's Shelia. :p

Peter: How'd you know?

Mike: We think she took over the part of the Scar.

Valerie: How appropriate. :p

Micky: Isn't it? :P

Davy: (Nudges them) Come on, pirates. We're on! (Gives Daphne a quick kiss) Be back aftah our numbah's done, luv. :X

Daphne: You'd BETTER! ;)

Davy: That's the Daphne I love. :X

(They hurry out to the stage, throwing bags of money into the crowd. A few "pirates" throw THEMSELVES into the crowd, to the tune of "My Share of the Sidewalk.")

Davy: Come on, men! Let's stop that Dev...Scah, before sh...he 'arms the people and takes any more money!

Mike: Let's get that bitch!

Micky: Yeah! *holds up a wooden sword*

("My Share of the Sidewalk" continues as Shelia and her pirates fight Davy and the others. Mike finally confronts Shelia...only to see that her sword is real.)

Mike: Holy SHIT! Shelia, you know you can hurt somebody with that! :p :o

(Shelia merely pushes him aside, smirking, as she orders her men to retreat. She's still smirking as she makes her way backstage.)

(Davy separates Fern and the Cockney pirate who replaced him in his original role after their numbers.)

Davy: Come now, you two! No fighting amongst yourselves! Save it for the Scah and 'is motley crew!

Mike: Hey, why don't we all go find a bar and get wasted? ;)

Emma: Some more than others. (Mike nudges Emma :p )

Micky: *grins* You would say that. ;)

John: I like that idea.

Kimberly: Some of you are wasted already.

Jenny: You're one. (Kimberly sticks her tongue out at her)

Davy: Come now, folks, let's go have a really smashin' pahty that we won't remembah in the mornin'. ;)

*Nyles is already hung over the side of the "ship."* ;)

Davy: (Makes a face as upchucking is quite audible) Oh, man. Would somebody 'elp Seaman Brown off the ship and clean up aftah 'im? Seems 'e 'ad a bit too much ale this aftahnoon. :p

John: Come on, Dan. Might as well.

Danny: You get his feet. I got them last time.

John: They stink!

Danny: How do you think I feel? :p

Micky: Good luck, guys! :P

(Davy leads his crew off the stage, John and Danny last with Nyles. The backstage is quiet except for some members of the crew.)

Davy: Where's the evil pirates?

Kimberly: Hey, where's Daph?

Crewmember 1: (Shrugs) The black-haired chick went on with the other girls. They assumed she was Jane Turner's understudy.

(There's screaming onstage as "The Scar" leads the capture of the four female leads.)

Davy: (Eyes widen) Oh, no...

Micky: That does NOT sound good... :P

(Mike lets out a growl.)

Fern: (Shrugs) It's the first act finale. The women are supposed to be getting kidnapped by the Scar and his men.

Davy: Yeah, but not by bloody Shelia! X(

Maxine: What?

Micky: Or for real! :P X-(

(Shelia and the other pirates parade backstage as the lights come up. Shelia has Daphne over her shoulder.)

Daphne: (Kicking and screaming) Davy! Damn you, Shelia, put me down!

Shelia: Not a chance. >:)

"Grace": Hey, Josh, you can put me down now.

Davy: Let 'er go, Shelia! This is a stage show, not a real pirate invasion! :p X(

Mike: You know what I'll do if I get mad. X(

(The pirates have begun to surround the group. Two of them grab Lauren; two more pick up the twins.)

Maxine: Um, is it me, or do these guys seem awfully...

Joe: Bloodthirsty. :p

Shelia: Did I forget to mention it? This IS real. *smirks* If you DON'T finish this show the way I want you to, it's curtains for the ladies. >:)

Daphne: What?

Micky: *growls* Where's a REAL sword when I need one? X-(

Davy: No! Shelia, let them go!

Audrey: Hey, bitch, what did you do to these guys?

Girl 3: What's going on?

Girl 2: This is really uncomfortable!

Shelia: They're my pirates. ;)

Fern: But they're actors PLAYING pirates!

Shelia: Not anymore. ;) >:)

*Lauren does her own bit of growling, struggling against her two captors.* :P X-(

Audrey: Man, if nothin' else, put the little guys down! They ain't gonna do nuthin' to you!

John: You're kidnapping toddlers?

Shelia: Can never be too careful. *smirks* :P

Mike: (Low growl) Shelia, stop playing games. X(

Peter: Please let us go!

Micky: Or else! X-(

Shelia: No. >:)

Fern: Shelia, I never WANTED another part! I like this part! I'd rather swing swords around than dance a minuet under a parasol!

Mike: Shelia, this is serious. You know what I'll do to you if you hurt those women, Lauren, or the kids.

Emma: That makes two of us. X(

Micky: THREE! X-(

Shelia: I'm really worried. :P ;)

John: Don't forget the REST of us!

Joe: Yeah, honey. Some of us CAN do damage. X(

Kimberly: Let me AT her! X( (Maxine grabs her arm)

Maxine: Kim, don't make things worse! :p

Micky: *grins* Hey, anybody else want some REAL swords? ;)

(Mike nods at Micky.)

Mike: (Whispers to Micky) Suppress the light.

Micky: Comin' right up. *concentrates on the handful of wooden swords carried by members of their group; there's a muted blue light & all of the swords become real*

(Mike makes his own broadsword appear and hands Peter his bow-and-arrows. Davy makes his rapier appear. Emma grabs long wooden mop handle. Valerie makes a short, sharp sword appear in her hand.)

*Shelia growls.* :P

Maxine: Cool! :)

John: Hey, I'm Errol Flynn now! ;)

Micky: *swishes his sword* This is MUCH better! ;)

Mike: (Holds up his sword) Ok, Shelia, we've got you covered now.

Peter: (Puts up his drawn arrow) And WE don't play games.

Shelia: And I've still got your friends... *eyes narrow* >:)

Kimberly: Not for long, if we have anything to do with it!

Micky: I say we charge!

Davy: Let Daphne and the other women go, Shelia! The othahs are innocent! They 'ave nothin' to do wit' this!

Fern: Something's going on, and I have the feeling it's a lot bigger than this show. :p

Crewmember: (Frowns) People, you're on in five minutes!

Shelia: I'm NOT letting them go. :P

Davy: (Puts down his sword) If we do the show the way you want, will you let them go, including the pirates?

Mike: DAVY! X(

Shelia: *smirks* Of course. ;) >:)

Daphne: Davy, no! :o

Micky: *groans* Dave... :P

Davy: (Turns to the others) What choice do we have?

Lillian: None. :p

Micky: We could still charge. :P

Davy: And risk them 'urtin' the girls!

Daphne: (Kicks at Shelia) Let me go, Shelia!

Shelia: Not until this show is over. ;)

Davy: You wouldn't 'urt them, Shelia. They're in the show, too.

Shelia: True, but some of them aren't. ;) >:)

*Micky growls.* X-(

Emma: No! Lauren! (Lunges for Lauren, but one of Shelia's pirates takes her arms; she struggles angrily) Damn you!

Mike: Em!

Lauren: Lemme go! :P

Davy: (Steps up to Shelia) We'll do what you want, Shelia. Release the others. We'll finish the show.

Mike: DAVY!

Daphne: Oh, Dave... :(

Emma: No! (She struggles again)

Shelia: *smirks* Now that's what I like to hear. ;) >:)

*Micky slaps his forehead.* :P 8-|

Crewmember: Two minutes, people!

Davy: We've got to get onstage. If you even think of 'urtin' them before we get off, the deal is ovah. X(

Shelia: I wouldn't dream of it. ;)

Emma: What about Lauren and the kids?

Mike: Not to mention my wife... X(

Shelia: *evil grin* Insurance. >:)

Micky: *growls* I'll give you insurance! X-(

Evil Pirate 1: (Strokes Emma's cheek; Mike roars and lunges for him) What about this feisty lass?

(Two pirates grab Mike and drag him back to the group.)

Emma: (Shakes off his hand) Don't TOUCH me, you creep! X(

Shelia: Hold her. Those who aren't going on stage will act as insurance to make sure the others DO finish the show.

(The two pirates drag Emma over to where Lauren and the twins are being held.)

*Lauren is muttering curses under her breath.* X-( :P

Evil Pirate 2: (Pokes Nyles, who's curled up on the floor, snoring) What are we gonna do with the big blond guy?

Danny: Man, he isn't a snake. :p

Shelia: *slight grin* He's no threat. Just keep an eye on him.

Crewmember: (Calls) You guys should have been onstage two minutes ago! The curtain will be rising any second! Go! (Pushes the group onstage)

Mike: (Growls) Damn you, Davy! Look what you've done!

Davy: (As they walk onto the tavern set) Mike, I've got a plan.

Micky: You'd better have a plan, shorty. :P

John: Damn it, that bitch has the chicks and the munchkins!

Kimberly: I wanna tear her to shreds! X(

Micky: *grumbles* Better get in line. :P

Davy: She thinks we're gonna do everything EXACTLY like it was. (Grins) We're not.

Marcus: And we have been? ;)

Davy: (To the group) Those of you who are actahs, DON'T follow the script. Just follow us.

Mike: What do you have in mind, Dave?

Davy: She likes to play games, right? Well (grins) let's play a few games of our own. ;)

Fern: Ok, guys, remember, we have to be singing when the curtain opens!

Davy: And I know what we can sing....and it ain't what Shelia expects. ;)

Micky: I'm liking this plan. ;)

John: Me too. You like it, Nyles? (Nyles snores loudly; two evil pirates dumped him in a chair.) He likes it. ;)

Audrey: Can we dance on tables?

Lillian: I wanna collect tips. ;)

Winnie: You think anyone would notice stripping?

French Pirate: WE would, mam'selle! ;) :D

Davy: Ok, everyone, (grins and leans out of the curtain) we'll begin with "Let's Dance On." In the key of C. ;)

Micky: Perfect! ;)

("Let's Dance On" blares forth as everyone dances, Frugs, twists, shouts, burps, and generally has a good time. Lillian and Winnie jump on the table and start taking off their jackets and vests, though we don't quite get the shirts off in the interest of keeping the ratings down. ;) )

(Fern and the Cockney Pirate jump on the table and sing and dance along, both more than a bit tipsy. ;) )

*Shelia meanwhile practically has steam coming out her ears. Matter of fact, she really DOES!* ;)

(The French pirate tries to feel up Kimberly. She literally karate chops him off the stage and into an eisle. ;) )

*Micky dances along the entire length of the stage and occasionally has to step over a body.* ;)

(Peter and Mike grab instruments from the orchestra and hands them out to the crowd. Mike keeps a guitar for himself. ;) )

(Peter "plays" his bow. Valerie swoons. :X)

(The messanger hurries in as the number ends.)

Davy: (Grabs the messanger with one hand and sticks his pint of "ale" under his nose with the other) Hey, want some? (The messanger shakes his head, surprised) No? More for me, then. ("Drinks" the ale)

Messanger: Captain Powahs! Captain Powahs! (Grabs Davy) You Captain Powahs?

Davy: Yeah, I'm Captain Powahs. Whaddya want? Can't you see I'm getting wasted?

Mike: And doin' a good job of it! ;)

Micky: *holds up his own pint* Damn right! :D ;)

Messanger: I 'ave a message for 'im...um, you, young sir! It's to go to you right away, and no one else!

Fern: (Grabs the message) Oh, give me that! He's so damn smashed right now, 'e probably cahn't read straight! (Reads the message; pales and turns to the othahs) Guys, we've got to go back to the ship!

Davy: Why? Wot's goin' on?

Mike: Did she sink yet? ;)

John: I thought shuttleboard night was TOMORROW. ;)

Micky: Is there more ale on the ship? ;)

Winnie: I haven't had fun yet! ;)

Davy: (Grabs the message from Fern; very fake and overdone gasp) You can have fun another time. Our four guests have been forcibly removed!

Tilly: What, you mean some jerk grabbed them?

Davy: (Sighs) Yes, Tilly.

(Mike growls. X( )

John: Hey, I don't think that's kosher. :p

Winnie: It ain't even nice!

Micky: We'll just have to do something about that, won't we? ;)

Davy: Damn straight, Seaman Dolenz. (Nods) Come on, guys. We've gotta make a plan.

Mike: Yes, sir. (Salutes)

Davy: Seaman Nesmith, quit bein' sarcastic. It ain' becomin' of an officah. :p

Micky: Yessir! *also salutes, but hits himself a little too hard* ;)

Davy: To the ship, men! (Glares from all the ladies) And women. ;)

Davy: Charge! (Charges...right into the wall. He finally makes it offstage, followed by the others.)

Davy: (Nods) Come on, guys. We have to change costumes. (Turns to the others with a grin as they file offstage) Ok, let me see some 'ands. Who 'ere 'as evah wanted to go to a big fancy ball? ;)

(Hands shoot up all around the group, sometimes two. ;) )

Davy: Good...because we're gonna crash this ball wide open. ;) (They make their way down the hall.)