Ok, gang, everyone ready to save Daph and Micky?

Mike: Let's roll.

Peter: Roll what?

(Mike sighs.)

Lauren: Let’s go!

Davy: Wot's goin' on?

*We open at the Forest Theater. More precisely, a prop room in the theater. There's all sorts of "pirate-ish" props scattered in the room. Shelia herself is dressed in a fancy pirate costume with plumed hat and ruffled shirt. The bird cage rests next to a prop one, complete with a plush parrot that somewhat resembles Micky's current state as a parrot. Daphne is still two inches tall and trapped in the glass jar, though the cloth has been removed. Even minus the use of her legs, she's still pounding her fists angrily on the side of the jar.*

(She makes a face at Shelia's costume. :p )

Shelia: *ignores Daphne; to the parrot* You'll make a perfect replacement for that fake bird they’re using. They'll never know that someone didn't go out and get a real bird.

*The parrot flaps its wings angrily.* :P

(Daphne's eyes widen. She glares.)

Shelia: *turns to Daphne* Now, what to do with you...

(Daphne angrily pounds on the glass again and mouths obcenities.)

Shelia: *evil grin* I've got an idea. You'll have an even more prominent role. You'll be part of the chorus, but I'll have to make a few changes first.

(Daphne stops pounding and frowns.)

Shelia: First of all, you're entirely too feisty. You need to be calmed down, and a bit more "go with the flow." *grins again as a black light surrounds the jar*

(Daphne gasps and draws back in the jar, her eyes flaring angrily.)

Shelia: Next, you'll have to be your normal height again. *sends off another black light, again surrounding the jar; when it clears, the jar is gone and Daphne is back to her normal height*

(Daphne draws back, obviously frightened. She opens her mouth to scream, but she is still muted.)

Shelia: *smiles* I see you just found out the hard way that I didn't return your voice. ;) :P

(Daphne steps back, indicating herself, then Micky. She wonders what she has planned for both of them.)

Shelia: For now, you're both going to be in this production and help me with my plan for Miss Turner. >:)

(Daphne frowns again. She picks up a Playbill with Jane Turner's face on it and points to it. She wonders why she dislikes Jane and what she has in mind.)

Shelia: You already know that I've made something of a partnership with Mrs. Badderly. She wishes for her daughter to take over her role. *smirks* And since I've already taken out Darren, it'll be much easier to get the Lord of the Manor. ;) :P

(Daphne shakes her head vehemently and steps back again.)

Shelia: Oh, yes. More importantly, it will lead to me getting my hands on the rest of your little group. Now, my dear, you will join the chorus willingly. *sends off another black light, surrounding Daphne; turns her more docile* Before I add you to the chorus... *takes out the communicator and opens it*

(Daphne looks over herself dazedly.)

Shelia: Hello? Anyone out there? *smirks*

Mike: What the....(growls) Shelia!

Shelia: Well, hello, my dear White Knight. *smirks*

Mike: Where's Daphne and Micky, you createn?

(Shouts of "Before I go medieval on your ass" and "What did you do to our roommate?" from behind Mike.)

Shelia: Actually, they're right here. ;)

Kimberly: (muffled) Can I PLLEEASSE go medieval on her ass? Just a little?

Mike: They'd both better be in one piece. I got about fifty people here ready to knock you into the next decade if you damage either of them. X(

Shelia: Matter of fact, I'll even let you SEE them. ;)

Mike: You'd better put them both back, the way they were the last time we saw them, before we take them from you the HARD way!

Tilly: (Muffled) Is that the crazy Satan lady?

Shelia: You'll be able to see them both in tonight's production. Until then, they'll be well hidden. ;)

Mike: NO! No more games!

Emma: (Muffled) What's she up to THIS time?

John: (Muffled) Who is it?

Chris: (Muffled) Ask her for her phone number! :X

Mike: (Smirks) Chris wants your phone number. ;)

Shelia: Tell him I'm unlisted. *rolls her eyes* Anyway, make sure that all of you come to see the show tonight. >:)

Mike: Why? What do you have planned? (Calls over his shoulder to Chris) Oh, and Chris, she's unlisted.

Chris: Darn! :p

Shelia: Oh, just a nice little surprise. ;)

Mike: Nice, my ass!

Emma: Mike, your language! The twins are here! :p

Lauren: I'm debating whether to hold back language. *growls*

Mike: (Growls) I know your idea of nice little surprises, Shelia. None of us are in the mood to end up in suitcases or fighting ghosts or mad scientists or our evil doubles or some rich twerp, thank you VERY much! X(

Shelia: No worry. It won't be ANY of those. ;)

(Tears roll down Daphne's cheeks as she tries to listen in on the conversation.)

Mike: Shelia, face it. We have at least fifteen to twenty people on our side. You've just got yourself and Mrs. B.

Shelia: That's all I need. ;)

Kimberly: Ask her if Daph's ok!

Mike: Daphne and Micky had BETTER be ok. X(

Lauren: Darn right. X-(

Shelia: They're both quite fine. ;)

(There's a knock on the door of the prop room.)

Mrs. Badderly: Shelia, are you in there?

Shelia: Come in!

Mike: Shelia, what's goin' on?

*Shelia quickly flips the communicator closed and tucks it back into a pocket as the door opens.*

Mrs. Badderly: What are you doing up here, dear? They're starting to get ready for the opening show. (Frowns at the sight of Daphne) What's she doing here? And my new parrot, too! :-/

Shelia: She's decided to be a part of the chorus. I thought they could use a real parrot in the show instead of that stuffed one, and both could be of help in the little...accident. ;) >:)

Mrs. Badderly: (Grins) Ahhhh. ;) >:)

(Daphne steps back again, meek and scared to death. :o )

Mrs. Badderly: Well, come on, girl! Do you do any singing or dancing?

(Daphne smiles shyly and timidly nods her head.)

Shelia: She dances. She's not much of a singer. *smirks* :P >:)

(Daphne makes a face. :p )

Mrs. Badderly: I'm sure we'll be able to find you some place in the dancing chorus, dear.

(Daphne nods happily. :) )

Shelia: We should get these two ready for their premiere. ;)

Mrs. Badderly: (Nods and reaches for the parrot) I'll bring him downstairs. They'll love him. He'll bring so much authenticity to the show. You get her dressed and bring her to the chorus line's dressing room. (Goes to Micky) Come here, little parrot. You're going to be a great big help tonight, yes, you are...

*The parrots flaps its wings angrily again.*

Shelia: Seems he has a bit of stage fright. ;) :P

Mrs. Badderly: Now, come on, birdie. You'll look smashing on our dear Mr. Jones' arm. ;) (To Shelia) How is June coming with Jones, anyway? I haven't seen either of them. I've been helping Fern with line readings.

Shelia: She's been doing very well with him. ;)

Mrs. Badderly: And she doesn't suspect a thing?

Shelia: Of course not. ;)

Mrs. Badderly: Good. Now, birdie, come along... (reaches for Micky again)

*The parrot again flaps its wings, this time jumping up and down, too.* :P X-(

Shelia: My goodness... :P

Mrs. Badderly: What's all the fuss, birdie?

*Shelia concentrates on Micky the parrot, turning him more docile. Instead of angrily flapping his wings, he flaps them lightly.*

Mrs. Badderly: (Easily takes him and holds him on her finger) Good boy. (Pets his head) Good boy.

Shelia: Guess he was just excited. ;)

*The parrots nuzzles Mrs. Badderly's hand.* :)

Mrs. Badderly: I guess so. Now, birdie, we're going to see Fern. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

*The parrot happily flaps his wings.* :)

Mrs. Badderly: Good boy. (Takes him out the door)

(Daphne steps back, her eyes filled with fear.)

Shelia: Now, now, my dear. Come along. You'll enjoy being a part of the chorus. *takes her arm and leads her out of the prop room*

(Cut to the Pad. It looks much like the gathering in "The Way to A Bard's Heart," minus Micky and Daphne, plus the twins, Lauren, Valerie, and the Angellettes.)

Mr. Bennett: I'm assuming that was (coughs) THAT woman.

*Lauren growls.* :P

Mike: (Comes out after turning off his communicator) You would assume right.

Tilly: It's that spawn of Satan chick again! X(

Chris: Are you SURE you can't get her phone number?

Kimberly: Oh, give it up, Chris. :P

John: Man, Chris, could you lose that running gag? :p

(Chris pouts. :p )

Winnie: Well, what are we gonna do now?

Mike: We kick her (sees the twins in their mother's and Aunt Valerie's laps) rears.

Marcus: She's got TWO rears? :o

John: (Shakes his head) Dan, I TOLD you not to let him into the keg yet!

Danny: What am I supposed to do, chain him to a chair?

Mike: We've tried that with Davy. It doesn't work. :p

Jenny: Couldn't hurt, though. ;)

Audrey: Ok, folks, what's the plan?

Mr. Bennett: If everyone's sober enough to decide on one. :p

Emma: (Gets in the center of the group with Mike) Ok, who here has ever had a deep-seated need to be on the stage? ;)

Mike: Hands, please. ;)

(Lots of hands spring up. Two, in some cases. ;) )

Lauren: Nice. ;)

Emma: Ok, who here is half-lucid? ;)

(A few hands go up, including Peter, Emma, and Mr. Bennett. ;) )

Mike: Oh, good. We're gonna have fun tonight. ;)

Lauren: Make that A LOT of fun. ;)

Joe: Are we gonna see the show, or what?

Mike: (Grins at Emma) Oh, we're not gonna SEE the show.

Emma: (Grins back) We're gonna be IN the show. ;) :D

Peter: Really? Wow!

Audrey: And how are you planning on having us do that?

Lauren: Sneak in, of course. ;)

Joe: I've always WANTED to be Errol Flynn!

Cory: Yeah, so he can get all the girls. ;)

Mr. Bennett: The place will be guarded, you know.

Mike: We'll just have to find the places that aren't.

Tilly: Or make a distraction!

Lillian: How are we gonna get onstage? None of us are exactly colonial lovers and pirates and hoopskirts material!

Mike: Neither's half the cast, and they seem to do ok. :p

Kimberly: We'll just have to act like them, then. ;)

Valerie: That's a scary thought. ;)

Tilly: You mean, we'll get to sword fight and everything?

Joe: While singing? :D

Jenny: And dancing? :D

Cory: Sign me up for the next ship out! ;)

Lillian: What if someone catches on that we don't belong onstage?

Winnie: Oh, Lil, don't be a killjoy! :p

Emma: (Shakes her head) It's a HUGE cast. What's twenty more people, more or less?

Lauren: They won't even know. ;)

Mike: (Holds up his hand as if he's holding a communicator) So, are y'all with me?

John: I dunno. We with him? (Juts a finger at Mike) ;)

Marcus: I could use a good sword fight. ;)

Kimberly: Just say yes. *sighs* :P

(Everyone says "Yes!" in unison, including the twins. ;) )

Kimberly: *sticks a finger in an ear* Not so loud. :P ;)

Marcus: Hey, what about the rugrats? (Grins and indicates the twins)

Emma: Grace Parker is watching Katie tonight. That was planned long before all of this started.

Lauren: The twins are coming. They can help in their own special way. ;)

Mike: (Kneels down in front of the twins) You guys ready to help find Daddy and have sword fights? ;)

Little Mick and Shelly: *loudly* YEAH! :D

John: Those are my kind of kids. ;)

Maxine: Party animals at almost two. Can I adopt them? ;)

Lauren: *narrows her eyes* No. :P

Kimberly: (Whacks Maxine over the head) Geez, Maxie, that's all she's got of Mick at the moment!

Maxine: Ow. (Rubs her head.) :p

Lauren: Thank you. :)

Mike: Ok, now, who's sober enough to drive? ;)

Emma: I don't drive, period. :p

Mike: We're gonna work on that.

Peter: (Puts up his hand) Val and I can take some people.

Tilly: I'd drive, but I don't have a car.

Lauren: I'll take some, too.

Jenny: I'm not much of a drinker. I can drive the van.

Marcus: Who gets to try to drive the Saucer? ;)

John: You can. I got the ticket the last time. ;)

Joe: We'll go with the Abbies. Our car is in the shop.

Lillian: (To Lauren) Mind if we shack up with you and the cutie-patooties?

Audrey: Yeah, we haven't had the money to get a car yet.

Lauren: Not at all. :)

Winnie: They ARE cute. (Grins at the twins) You kids don't mind drivin' with a southern soul group with lots of sass?

Little Mick: *grins* Thank you! :D

Shelly: *smiles* Coot. ;) :)

Winnie: I like the girl. Thanks, sweet cakes. ;)

John: Hey, where's Nyles?

Tilly: Check the nearest supply of liquor. :p

Kimberly: Or under a table. :P

Marcus: Just follow the snoring. ;)

Lillian: (Points behind her, on the veranda) Hey, what's that big thing on the hammock?

Emma: (Eyes widen) Folks, we found our quarry. :p

Chris: I didn't think he was a rock!

Jenny: No, but sometimes he acts like one. ;)

Mike: Who's the lucky person who gets to wake him up and drag the bottle out of his hand? ;) :p

Kimberly: Anyone foolhardy? ;) :P

John: We'll take him.

Lauren: Good luck. ;)

Marcus: We'll take him in the Saucer, too. It's not like the upholstry can get much worse. :p

Danny: We'll just make sure he upchucks out the window this time. ;) :p

Marcus: (Elbows Danny) Hey, not around the munchkins! :p

Mike: Ok, everybody settled?

Mr. Bennett: Want me to call the cops?

Mike: Yeah. Tell Nielson he may actually have someone to arrest this time.

Marcus: Who?

Valerie: Mrs. Badderly. She IS on this, she's NOT being controlled like Ronnie was, and her memory is probably intact. ;) :p

Lauren: She's completely under her own volition. :P

Mr. Bennett: Mrs. Badderly? Rhetta Badderly, who runs the Gypsy Tea Room on Main Street? I've met her once or twice. Used to be quite the performer in vaudeville and radio before she settled down.

Mike: She ain't performin' anymore, but her daughter is.

Emma: That's how all this got started. Shelia wants her daughter to take Jane Turner's role.

Lauren: No matter WHAT it takes. :P

Mr. Bennett: I DID hear Jane Turner was in this show. I thought she retired.

Mike: She might be doin' it permanently after tonight.

John: Jane Turner?

Chris: My mother's seen all her movies!

Peter: She's chasing Davy! She wants him to like her! She gave him the main part after hurting the guy who had it originally! :p

Mr. Bennett: She's a bit...seasoned...for the boy, isn't she?

Lauren: A little. :P

Mike: We're gonna try to stop Jane Turner from takin' a piece of Davy's (sees the twins and makes a face) rear end, and WE'RE gonna try to stop Shelia from takin' HER out permanently.

John: If she's chasin' Davy, why should we help her?

Marcus: So we can get onstage and have sword fights. ;)

Jenny: Is that all you can think about? :P

Kimberly: Hey, what about OUR roommate?

Maxine: Daphne could be in dire peril!

Peter: (Looks at Lauren) Shelia's got Micky, too.

Lauren: That's right. :P

Mike: Ok, everyone, ready to head out?

Emma: We'll split into our respective cars and meet each other in the back of the theater.

Mr. Bennett: I'll stay here and catch up with you kids later. I'm going to call Nielson and tell him we've once again got a line on Shelia...and this time, he might just see some action. ;)

Mike: Ok, gang, all those who can, move 'em out! All those who can't will be carried, dunked, or just stared at until they can. ;)

*The entire group moves out... most of them under their own power.* ;)

(We have "Writing Wrongs" playing over the group's departure as we see everyone climb or fall or try to climb into a vehicle and Mr. Bennett makes his way to the nearest phone.)

(Montage of everyone driving to the theater, whooping it up and following each other.)

(As the song ends and the group arrives, we hear Mike's famous "Mission: Ridiculous" narration.)

Mike: Gathering our little group....(as the cars arrive and everyone starts jumping out to the parking lot) well, not really so little anymore...from the far corners of the Earth, we were about to rescue two of our comrades and one obnoxious English twerp (cough as we see Emma elbow him)...um, a third comrade from certain doom at the hands of our most terrifying enemy, the Devil Woman.

Mike: The Westminster Abbies (as the girls' psychadelic van arrives) are a formidable female fighting force of the highest order, with some of the most at stake, as one of there teammembers are among the captives.

(Kimberly immediately jumps out and demonstrates some of her moves.)

Maxine: Lighten up, Kim. :p

Mike: (Continues as the Giants and the Abbies pile out of the Van) The Jolly Green Giants live up to their names with hearts of gold and fists of iron.

(Joe leans on Cory...and knocks him over. ;) )

Mike: (As the Flying Saucer arrives) The Four Martians are the best at surveilliance and keeping the beer kegs flowing.

(All four Martians drag Nyles out of the car and start shaking him a bit.)

Mike: The Californian Surfer Dude may not be the brightest or the most sober, but he's good in a fight and loyal to the end.

(Lauren arrives in her car; the Angellettes pile out, carrying the twins.)

Mike: We have the New England Minx and her two children, along with the newest members of our group, the Louisiana Angellettes.

Winnie: (Makes a face as she tickles Little Micky) He makes us sound like a football team! :p

Lauren: That isn't such a bad thing. ;)

Mike: (As Valerie's powder-blue Corvette appears) Next we have the Connecticut Counterspy, the Western Honey Girl, and the Malibu Beach Conspiracy Theorist.

Tilly: (As she climbs out) Are you SURE there are no aliens involved in this?

Valerie: If you see any aliens in the theater, tell us. :p

Peter: There are aliens in the theater? :o

Tilly: See?

(Valerie just throws up her hands in defeat. :p )

*Lauren groans.* :P

Mike: (As the Monkeemobile arrives) The Modest, But Towering Texan and his wife, partner, and the mother of their daughter, the New Jersey Jungle Girl, are known for their strength, cunning, wit, and total agreement on all important issues.

Emma: (As she climbs out) No, Mike, we can't just barge in there and say "Give us back Daphne and Micky and get your hands off Davy, you bitch!" :p ;)

Mike: I STILL think it's a good idea. ;)

Mike: (Looks at the surrounding group) Ok, everyone ready to go in?

Lauren: You bet! X-(

Tilly: Any ideas how?

Chris: Maybe we could just ring the doorbell.

John: We could go up. (Points upwards)

Bobby: Yeah, there's always a trap door or somethin' in these old places!

Tilly: What if someone sees us?

Lillian: Everyone's either gettin' ready for the show or gettin' ready to SEE the show.

Lauren: And we're GONNA be seen in the show, anyway. ;)

Marcus: They'll probably think it's just publicity or something.

Lillian: What about these little guys? (Indicates Little Micky in her arms)

Lauren: *makes a face* Didn't think of that.

Mike: How about half of us go up, half of us go through the back door with the kids, and we'll meet near the dressin' rooms?

Lillian: Besides, these cute faces could get King Kong into the Empire State Building. ;) (Nods at Little Micky)

*Little Micky beams.* :D

*Shelly giggles at her brother.* ;)

Mike: Ok. I'm goin' up. Everyone who's comin' with me, go up. Everyone who's goin' with Lauren and the kids, go some other way.

John: Let's go up. ;)

Chris: I like up.

(The Martians follow Mike.)

Emma: We'll meet as close to backstage as we can get in about a half-hour.

Lauren: Right.

Emma: (Squeezes Lauren's shoulder) We'll find Mick, don't worry! :) (Follows Mike and the Martians)

Winnie: We'll stay with Lauren.

Audrey: She'll need help with these munchkins. ;)

Lauren: Thanks. ;)

Joe: We'll stay here, too, and I don't think Nyles is up to climbing anything that doesn't have beer in it. ;)

Tilly: I'll go up. I want to tell Mike that the government may have a part in this! (Starts climbing)

Maxine: How about we split up? Kim and Jenny, stay here. Lauren may need your sterling techniques. I'll go with the climbers.

Kimberly: I live to defend mothers and children.

Jenny: And very small animals. ;)

Maxine: Just watch where put those moves. You don't know where they've been. ;)(Mutters as she climbs) Good thing Amber's in San Francisco with her folks. She's worthless when she's drunk. :p

Peter: (Grins and pulls Valerie to the stairs) Come on, Val! I wanna go with Michael! :)

Valerie: My thighs could use a good work out, anyway. (Nods at Lauren and the others as she goes up) Good luck, folks!

Lauren: Thanks, guys!