Emma: Hey, Mick, wanna ask everyone if they're ready? ;)
Micky: I'd love to! Alright, everyone ready to check out the labs?
Davy: I'm ready!
Daphne: Me, too!
Peter: (Still a bit weak) I'm ready, too!
Davy: Mick, you said somethin' 'bout reprogrammin' Kristof so ‘e fights with 'imself... ;)
Micky: Well, yeah, atleast I think I could manage that, but we'd have to get ahold of him, first.
Davy: Right! So...
(The group makes their way around machine parts, chemistry sets, metal tables, tools, wires, and musical instruments and equipment.)
Davy: 'E's GOT to 'ave them 'round 'ere SOMEWHERE!
Micky: They couldn't have gotten far.
Daphne: (Gasps) Guys, I think I found them! (Points ahead) I can hear Kristof!
Davy: (Grabs four lab coats) 'Ere, guys. We'd bettah blend in. Look like more thugs.
Micky: *puts his coat on* I've always wanted one of these!
(They all put them on and make their way as inconspicuously as possible into the next room. Thick, glowing black fabric binds Mike to a metal table tilted slightly to face what looks like old car parts with a huge, black crystal in the middle. The crystal throbs around the black-haired young man. Mike's eyes are glassy, his skin is very pale, and he barely moves. Emma pounds angrily on the box of the robot machine.)
Emma: No! Let him go! What are you DOING to him?
Kristof: (Goes to a nearby table and picks up a small device, like a small radio with an antenna) I'm completely stripping him of his power and strength. When the light in the jewel has finished blinking, he will be ready to send to the Man Downstairs.
Emma: (Frowns) The Man Downstairs?
Kristof: My boss and occasional partner. He apparently has as much of a bone to pick with this...this...(snarls)...BRAT...as I do. He got in the way of one of my partner's business deals, and NO one messes with his deals. (Grabs Mike's hair - his eyes are angry, but very tired) I'll bring you to him AFTER I've done to you what you did to me. (Nods at the machine as the boys and Daphne move around, trying to look like they're helping. Micky and Peter move to Emma in the machine, while Daphne gets close to Mike and Davy riffles through parts.)
Mike: (Weak growl) You...you...bast...ar...d! (Spits at Kristof. He wipes his face, then yanks Mike's head hard - the boy moans.)
Emma: Stop! Please don't do this to him! Whatever he did to you, I'm sure he didn't mean it! (Frowns at the two familiar faces next to her prison - softer) Micky? Pete? How on EARTH...?
Micky: *holds an index finger to his lips* We'll tell you later...
Peter: ...AFTER we've distracted Kristof, gotten you and Mike out of here, and saved the world!
Kristof: (Holds out the machine) I know you're a musician. I've heard you sing in the pitiful little nightspots in your town, but what if your pretty southern voice was no longer suited to your vocation?
Mike: Wha...
(Kristof turns on the small machine, which sparks a little, and aims it at Mike's head and throat. There's a small buzzing sound; one can almost see the beams running over the young man.)
Kristof: Why don't you sing for me now?
Mike: (His voice is now a harsh, low croak, like a cross between a pig and a bullfrog) What...did...you do...to...me?
Emma: (Bangs on the box) Leave him alone!
(Peter whimpers and grabs Micky's arm.)
*Micky nods, frowning.*
Kristof: (Raises the small machine) This is a miniature version of the music distortion device. It's really only a test model. I never planned for the big one to go up in smoke. (Frowns)
Mike: I...won't...go!
Kristof: Why not? I think you and your blond friend will have a great deal of fun with the Man Downstairs. He thinks your friend will be of great use to him.
Emma: (Pounds on the box) No! No! Whoever this guy is, they aren't going with him!
Kristof: (Turns to the box) You don't have a choice in the matter, girl. You're going to be like me in a minute, and then (points to the slow-moving, silent scientists) like them once I get one of these (holds up a metal collar like the ones worn by the scientists) on you.
Mike: (Croaks) Em...no...
(Kristof pushes some buttons - the lights in the box goes on.)
Peter: (Soft whimper) Guys, what are we gonna do?
Daphne: (Holds up the scissors she used to free Peter and whispers to the boys) I can get Mike out of there, but someone's going to have to stop Kristof.
Micky: It'd give me a chance to try to rewire him.
Mike: Em...no... (Kristof goes over to Mike with a sharpened black crystal as Daphne hides under the metal table where the Texan is bound and starts cutting away at his bonds)
Kristof: (As Daphne starts freeing his ankles, Kristof holds the crystal to his right cheek) I've been wanting this for a long time, Texan. I want you to see what it's like to be a half-freak, to have one side of you normal and the other a hideous wreck.
*Micky slowly edges his way around towards Kristof, careful not to get too close while Kristof has his sharpened black crystal.*
Mike: I...do...know...(Daphne cuts away at his other side). Remember...my...arm?
Kristof: (Throws his mechanical arm out one way as he leans over Mike's face...conveniently towards Micky) This time, you won't be able to protect yourself...or your friends.
*Micky grins and finds a panel in the arm which he pries off.*
Emma: (As the lights grow brighter in the box and metal starts creeping up) MIIIIIKKKKKKEEEE!
*Micky feverishly works on rewiring the wires and mechanisms in the arm's panel.*
Kristof: (Frowns) What the... (But before he can check his mechanical side, Daphne gets Mike untied and pulls him off the table and towards the back wall. Peter joins her in helping the weakened Texan to his feet. Kristoff tries to shake off Micky and drops the sharp crystal as he does) You little...
Micky: *grins* Hi!
*Micky puts the finishing touches on his rewiring job.*
Davy: (Grabs Kristof's human arm) Oh, no, you don't! Why don't you play with someone...(looks at himself) who ISN'T your size?
Mike: (Points to the machine) EM!
(Emma is pounding on the box as the gasses start flowing.)
Kristof: (Tries to shake off Davy) Let me GO, you little insect!
(Mike shakes his head - away from the crystal, he's getting stronger.)
Peter: Mike (points at the box) go save Em!
Mike: (Picks up a metal tube) Em, you did this for me once, so don't get mad, but... (smacks the side of the box with it. Smacks it again, and it comes flying open. Emma falls out, coughing. Mike takes her in his arms and holds her.)
Emma: (Coughing) M...my God Mike...metal everywhere...the gas smelled funny...is THAT what Delilah went through?
Mike: (Rubs her back; his voice is still a croak) It's ok now, honey. You ain't a robot, or even half of one.
Emma: (Touches Mike's neck) Oh, Mike, your voice....
(Peter watches, his light brown eyes angry for once. He goes to Kristof, and grabs his hand even as Davy pulls at his arm, trying to get the music distortion machine away.)
Peter: You make my friend Mike's voice RIGHT again! He can't go through life sounding like that! He loves to sing!
*Micky tinkers with a panel on Kristof's back.*
(Kristof finally manages to push off both boys...then realizes he's not alone.)
Kristof: Do I feel a draft? (A group of men in lab coats run into the room. Kristof indicates the kids.) Kill the females and the little Brit, but subdue the blond and the dark-haired one. They are to be the guests of the Man Downstairs, and he likes having his guests in one piece.
(Mike stands, still a bit shaky, and starts moving back towards the machine. Emma steps in front of him.)
Mike: (Low croak) Em, don't...
Emma: Don't get anywhere close to him or me, you sons of bitches!
Kristof: (Frowns) What IS that strange...tickle...I feel?
Davy: (Karate chops a thug) Micky? 'Ow's it goin'?
Micky: *grins, putting the last touches on his second bit of rewiring* Almost done...!
Davy: (Points at the music distortion machine) GET THAT BLOOMIN' MACHINE!
(This is the cue for another romp, "Star Collector." Micky feverishly works on the last of his rewiring while Peter and Davy try to get the music distortion machine from Kristof and Mike and the girls duck around, throw crystals at, and hide from the lab boys.)
*Micky finally closes up the panel and dusts his hands off, still grinning.*
(The romp ends as Peter joins the others at the wall, grinning - he has the music distortion machine. Kristof, however, comes up to the entire group, brandishing his sharp crystal. Davy, Peter, and Mike slump and breathe heavier.)
*Micky grits his teeth and plays with his watch again.*
Kristof: Which little boy should I start with? (Snarls) Should I maim the pretty little Englishman, or that dratted Texan troublemaker, or the dim-wit blond, or...
(The girls step protectively in front of the faltering boys.)
Emma: (Notes Micky with the watch and starts talking quickly) You won't get to these men, Kristof! We won't let you!
Daphne: We have the power, too, you know! We could imagine you into a frog or a broom or anything we want!
Kristof: Not while I have this, ladies. It won't weaken your powers the way it does theirs, but it WILL weaken your imagination power.
Daphne: Oh, shit, the blue light thingie won't work?
Emma: (Gulps as the other three groan behind her) Doesn't look like it.
Micky: *keeps playing with his watch* C'mon, dammit...
(Kristof leans over the girls menacingly...but suddenly, his mechanical half stops moving.)
Kristof: What?
Micky: *grins* Yes!
(The girls exchange surprised looks. The boys finally look up, still pale and shaky.)
Mike: (Croak) Micky, get the crystal away from him...and us!
Kristof: Darn it, what's wrong? I CAN'T need batteries already!
Micky: *nods and plays with the watch again* Got it.
*Kristof suddenly throws the sharpened crystal to the other end of the room, as far away from the boys as possible.*
(The boys grasp at the table, now able to get to their feet with the girls' help.)
Kristof: What the... (his human side grabs at his mechanical side, but to no avail - the mechanisms refuse to obey him.)
Micky: Looks like you've got a slight problem there. ;-)
Davy: (Points at Kristof) Petah, you've got the music distortion machine. Why don't you make some GOOD use of it?
Peter: You mean make Kristof sound funny? Sure! ;)
Kristof: You little...(reaches out and grabs Peter by his neck) I don't CARE what the Man Upstairs wants...(his mechanical arm drops Peter and starts hitting himself in the face)
(Peter grins and the others are doubled over laughing as he aims the distortion machine at Kristof.)
Peter: Here's a sound wave in your ear! (Flicks the machine as Kristof, his mechanical arm still beating on him, goes after Mike. Both are caught in the waves. Peter gasps) Michael! (Flicks off the machine and throws it on the table. Daphne takes it and hands it to Micky, who is now making Kristof hit himself on the side of his head.)
Kristof: (voice now a high, thin screech, like chalk on a blackboard) Ow! What's WRONG with me? I must have a loose wire or something...
Mike: (Normal warm Texas-accented voice) You're getting YOURS! (Touches his throat gently with a smile) Hey, I sound like me again!
Peter: Oh, thank goodness! I was scared for you, Mike! (Hugs him hard)
Mike: Um, Pete, you're gonna hurt me worse than the black crystals if you don't put me DOWN!
(Peter drops Mike, sheepish.)
*Micky chuckles, still messing with his watch.*
(Kristof tries to reach for the crystals remaining in the machine above the table, but his mechanical arm keeps pulling him in the opposite direction, hitting him, or grabbing his private parts.)
*Micky is almost on the floor, laughing and playing with his watch.*
Daphne: Hey, Micky, see what you can do with the distortion machine AND him. ;)
Kristof: (Finally turns around to see Micky; his eyes widen in fury) YOU! The curly-haired brat! Why, I ought to...
Micky: *eyes widen* What a great idea! *picks up the distortion machine again and briefly tinkers with it*
Mike: Oh, no, you don't! (All three boys grab his arm at once and pull him towards the table)
*Micky finishes with the distortion machine, then plays with his watch again. Kristof's mechanical half no longer moves. The guys lay him on the table. Micky grins and sets the distortion machine on Kristof.*
Micky: And now I might suggest we get OUTTA here!
Mike: Yeah. Let him stew in his own mechanical juices.
Daphne: Before his boys find him and let him out.
Micky: *smirks* He won't have LONG to stew. ;-)
Peter: (Pulls over the the scientists) Maybe we'd better bring these guys!
Micky: *nods* All innocents out!
Emma: (Gasps) Those are the men interviewed the other day!
(Everyone starts making their way through the room...except Peter.)
Mike: Man, where did he wander off to THIS time?
Micky: Pete, come ON!
(Peter finally joins them, huffing and puffing...and carrying something glowing and blue in his arms.)
Peter: I'm sorry, guys, but the crystal wanted to come, too!
Micky: *smacks his forehead* Of course!
(Peter holds out the large blue jewel, which glows warmly in his arms.)
Mike: Good lookin', Pete. ;)
Peter: It was like it was calling me!
Micky: If we have everyone and everything this time, let's get going so I can do some REAL damage. ;-)
Davy: We'd bettah go. (Points at several lab boys following them) We're bein' followed, and I think those boys are smartah than the thugs Delilah 'ad with 'er earliah.
Daphne: Come on, guys! (Pulls Davy along with her as Mike and Emma lead the scentists out)
Emma: (When they get out to the hallway, Emma pulls at the collars on the scientists' necks) What ARE these, anyway?
Mike: I ain't sure. He was gonna use them on both of us at one time.
Micky: Seems like some kind of mind control device.
(Emma snaps one off a scientist. He blinks a few times, then looks around.)
Dr. Haver: W...where am I?
Emma: (Sighs) Long, LONG story.
(Micky and Mike take the collars off the other two.)
Dr. Weston: (Frowns) Oh, goodness! One minute, I felt a needle in my neck, the next...I wake up here!
Dr. Doritt: Those thieves attacked us and drew these needles with colorful liquids, and then...everything went blank. (Nods at Emma) She's the young lady who was interviewing us!
Peter: (Sees the lab boys coming out of the hall, followed by Kristof, who's mechanical leg keeps tripping him) Oh, man, can we explain this later?
Mike: Yeah, man, we'll tell you all what we can in the car. (Pulls everyone along the hallway, through the opening, and back to the MonkeeMobile. The entire group piles in, Micky at the wheel Mike gets in next to him) Ok, Mick, you do the drivin'. We'll do the liftin'.
Micky: *crows happily* Fasten your belts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Davy: (points to the cave opening, which is now up) That won't be necessary, Mike!
Mike: Then (jumps in next to Mick) all aboard the MonkeeExpress!
(Kristof, his body still attacking him, continues to follow his men, who climb into the spider.)
Kristof: GET THEM! KILL THEM! STOP THEM! I DON'T CARE WHAT THE MAN DOWNSTAIRS WANTS THEM FOR, I WANT THEM DEAD!!!!!!!!
(Kristof's mechanical half finally gets his human half in a headlock and forces him down as the spider skitters out the opening.)
Kristof: (Fading as the spider skitters in hot pursuit of the MonkeeMobile) NO! No, stop, you damn machine! You're not ME, and I'm not you! No! Let me go! You... (voice finally fades entirely)
Micky: *rolls his eyes* Too bad I couldn't rewire him to shut UP!
Peter: (He's in the way back; he looks over his shoulder in horror) Micky, really, REALLY big spider at 12 o'clock! (Turns to the camera) 11 o'clock Central. ;)
Micky: Ha ha, Pete. *stomps on the gas pedal*
(Something small, black, and glowing flies over their heads and lands with a thump off in the desert.)
Micky: Okay, what the hell was THAT?!
Emma: (Looks over her shoulder...then sits back down, eyes wide) Black crystal missles!
Micky: *yells* Evasive maneuvers!
Davy: What about Kristof? What if 'e gains control of 'is mechanical side?
Micky: *shakes his head* He won't. He doesn't have time. That whole place oughtta be non-existent any second now!
(Micky's words are confirmed by a GIGANTIC explosion as Kristof's canyon hide-out goes up in flames.)
*Micky merely grins.*
(The kids cheer; the scientists, who are still dazed, just grin.)
Mike: (Puts his hand on Micky's shoulder) Good work, man!
Peter: Wow, Micky, how'd you do it?
Micky: No problem! All I had to do was turn the distortion machine into a bomb set to the timer on my watch. ;-)
*Micky holds up the wrist with the watch on it, still grinning.*
Emma: (Grins) GREAT work, Mick!
Davy: Lauren's gonna be REALLY proud of you!
Micky: *smile falters* I just wish she could've SEEN my heroics.
(Another black crystal missile barely misses the back of the MonkeeMobile.)
Micky: *pulls the car out of a minor swerve* Those missiles are getting REALLY annoying!
Peter: Look! (Points to a hoard of police and non-descript cars racing down the street...including a familiar blue sports car with two even more familiar figures in it)
Mike: Mick, I think this would be a good time to pull out our...adjustments. ;)
Micky: *grins* Alright!
Peter: And can we do a romp? Can we? :D
Micky: Yes, Peter. :-)
(Peter gets his wish, to the tune of "Writing Wrongs.")
(Micky and Mike both start pushing buttons.)
(The cop cars and the blue cars turn off the road and join in the romp and the chase, riding here, there, and everywhere under and around the spider, which doesn't know where to shoot.)
*Micky grins as one button he pushes causes the car to spew an oil slick from the rear of it. The spider catches up & starts sliding in the oil. It spins around & at one point, its "eyes" nearly look crossed.*
(As the group in the car laughs or grins dazedly, Mike pushes a button. Odd green gas floats out from in back of the car. The cloud of gas floats up to the spider, which starts "coughing" and holding its legs up to its "eyes." It slaps on a huge gas mask briefly and charges ahead, pushing aside several cop cars.)
*Micky pushes another button which reveals a launcher coming up from the trunk. He waves for Davy to aim it. The launcher shots out a bright purple ball, which, when it hits the spider, turns out to be a paint ball. The spider "wipes" at its "eyes" again, trying to clear the paint.*
(Mike accidentally leans on a button...which turns out to be an arm holding out a sandwich, banana, and a glass of orange juice. Micky grabs the sandwich and takes a big bite, grinning. Mike just rolls his eyes. Micky throws the banana peel out the side of the car. The spider runs over it and "slips" on it, crashing onto the ground.)
Mike: (As the earth shakes and the music heads for the finish) Hey, Mick, we've got it down. Now, let's bring this spider into our parlor. ;)
Micky: Gladly! ;-)
(Micky and Mike start pushing buttons as the others watch, wide-eyed, and the music comes to a close.)
Mike: Hey, Mick, which one you wanna use to get rid of that mutant pest? :D
Peter: Whichever one is for getting rid of really big spiders, of course! :D ;)
Micky: *points at a large purple button* Wanna try that one? ;-)
Mike: Ooooh, I like large, purple buttons! (Pushes the button)
(All of the cars, including Valerie's blue car, come to a stop and watch the overturned spider as the lab boys climb out. The FBI grab the remaining men in white coats. A small parachute flies over the spider. The parachute drops a round object into the belly of the beast, so to speak.)
Mike: Let's get everyone outta here, before that thing goes up! (Gestures to the cop cars and Valerie) Everyone, follow us! That thing's (points to the spider) gonna blow!
(The MonkeeMobile leads the sports car and the cop cars back to the road as the spider is finally destroyed by a series of what starts as small explosions, but finally works to larger and larger ones, until the thing is completely in pieces.)
Daphne: (Eyes wide as the entire group looks over their shoulder in surprise and awe) Holy MOLY!
Dr. Weston: That's amazing! The intricate work needed to both make and destroy a colassas like that...
Davy: Bloody 'ELL!
Mike: I think that spider just had the world's most monumental case of indigestion. ;)
Peter: He ate something that didn't agree with him. ;)
Micky: Such a fitting end! ;-)
(The MonkeeMobile slows down long enough for the cop cars and Valerie's car to catch up with them. Everyone piles out, the FBI holding the remaining lab boys.)
Agent Sandsbury: (Flips his badge to the kids) Sandsbury, FBI. Nice work, kids. We've been looking for this Kristof for three years. (Nods at Valerie and Lauren, who jump out of Val's car and run to Peter and Micky)
Lauren: *hugs Micky* I was so worried!
Micky: *grins, waves it off* No problem! *grins* ;-)
Valerie: Peter! Thank GOD you're safe!
Peter: Valerie! (Picks her up and swings her around happily.)
Agent Sandsbury: Kristof was a scientist for MIT...but his loony ideas got him discredited during the war. He branched out on his own, hiring innocent, down-on-their-luck musicians and performers to bring him the items he needed to complete his invention.
Mike: (Goes to the MonkeeMobile, leans in, and closes his eyes; there's a blue light, and a pile of papers with sketches of machinery appear in his hands. He then returns to Agent Sandsbury and hands him the papers) Kristof's branched out since the war years, Officer. He was messin' around with electronics now as well as soundwaves.
Agent Sandsbury: (His eyes raise in surprise) R...robots? That's sounds like something from the sci-fi movies!
Davy: (Arm around Daphne) Believe it, officah, because we saw it wit' our own eyes.
Micky: *nods* I was up close and almost personal with one. ;-)
Emma: He transformed his head assistant into a robot. The robotic side of the machine welded metal and electronic componets to her skin, making her more electric than human. The distortion machine, however, didn't work the way he intended and completely destroyed her voice, instead of merely replicating it electronically.
Daphne: (Makes a face) Man, that was freaky.
Peter: What happened to Delilah, the blonde-haired lady I followed?
Davy: Petah, SHE was the one Kristof used for 'is robot experiment.
Peter: (Eyes widen) Oh, man, that gangster lady...
Micky: Later fell to pieces. ;-)
Mike: (nods) When the distortion machine was (cough) adjusted, it was also reprogrammed to explode at a certain time...and she seemed to have picked up this programming, too. She was blown to bits along with the original machine.
Valerie: I'll bet Delilah and this Kristof were the ones who committed the weird robberies all over town.
Davy: (Nods) Right you are, Val. Delilah and 'er boys or 'ired 'oods would go in aftah the things Kristof needed, then bring them back 'ere in ordinary trucks.
Emma: These men (nods at the three scientists) are highly respected professors of engineering and mechanical design. They were hired to help out the dairy company, but Kristof must have decided they were the perfect people to help him with his new invention.
Mike: (Shows Sandsbury the metal collar) This is how they controlled them, Agent, with this collar and drugs.
Peter: And there were these black crystals...
(Davy slaps his hand over Peter's mouth.)
*Micky glares, quirking an eyebrow.*
Agent Sandsbury: What happened to Kristof? We've been wanting to ask him a few little questions for YEARS!
Mike: (Shakes his head) I'm afraid you're going to have to keep waitin', Agent.
Peter: He got turned into a machine AND a man!
Micky: *grins* And then he sorta "went down with the ship". ;-)
Agent Sandsbury: (Eyebrows go up ) WHAT? A machine AND a man? How is that possible?
Mike: He fell into the machine when the music distortion machine blew. It must have only partially finished welding the metal to his body before the sound part went up in smoke.
Agent Sandsbury: (Sighs and shakes his head) Giant spiders? Black crystals? Man-robots? The boys at the headquarters are NEVER going to believe this! (Nods and gets addresses) We'll be around for a full statement from all of you in the morning.
(The Agent and most of the other cops lead or question the remaining lab boys.)
Emma: (Takes Mike's hand) Mike, are you ok?
Mike: Yeah, darlin', I am now.
Valerie: (Still hugs Peter) Oh, Peter, I was so frightened for you!
Peter: I was scared for me too, Valerie! (City-lighting-grin) But I'm ok now, and so are you, and so are all of us. :D
Daphne: Davy...thanks for coming after me.
Davy: (Smiles) Don't mention it, luv. :X
Lauren: *sighs* I don't know which I hate more, being in the middle of everything or staying home wondering what's going on!
Micky: *slings an arm around Lauren* Babe, you should've SEEN me. I was brilliant!
Mike: (Nods with a grin) Yeah, Laur! He reprogrammed the spider, both of the music distortion machines, and Kristof himself! He was a damn genius today! :D
Peter: We all owe him a lot! :D
Lauren: And I MISSED it? Aw maaaan!
Micky: *shrugs* All in a day's work. ;-)
Mike: (Goes to the MonkeeMobile and pulls out the crystal, cradling it in his arms) There's one more thing we gotta do, fellas, before we head home. (Nods at the girls) Val, take Daphne to her apartment. Lauren, drive the MonkeeMobile back to the Pad. We'll meet you and Emma there. (Nods at the others) And now, my good fellows, let us restore that which has been destroyed to its former brillance and bring peace and order once more to our lives and the lives of those we care for!
Davy: (Whispers to Micky) 'E does like gettin' long-winded, don't 'e, Mick?
Micky: *nods* Maybe I AM rubbing off on him. ;-)
Peter: (Whispers) I think he likes being a superhero more than he says. ;)
Emma: (Takes Mike's arm) Do you really have to go, honey?
Mike: (nods sadly at Emma) Yeah, darlin', we do. This is just somethin' we gotta do. (He takes off)
Valerie: Peter...
Peter: Valerie, I...can't fly.
Valerie: Yes, you can, Peter, if you THINK you can! :D
(Peter looks at Valerie and smiles shakily. He then jumps...and there's a blue-green light, and he soars in the air, following Mike. His grin could light up continents.)
Micky: *gives Lauren a kiss* Sorry, babe, gotta follow the Chief. We'll be back in a bit. *takes off; crows* Go, Pete! ;-)
Davy: Good bye, luv. (Grabs Daphne, kisses her, and takes off after the others. Daphne touches her lips dazedly as the other girls join her)
Lauren: I knew it. ;-)
Emma: (Shakes her head) I'm getting sick of them just taking off without us. We're a team.
Valerie: (Nudges Daphne) I think he likes you. ;)
Daphne: (Grins) I'm starting to notice that myself. ;)
Emma: (Turns back to the other girls; determinedly) Let's follow them.
Daphne: Is that a good idea?
Lauren: Are you sure, Em?
Valerie: Won't Mike get upset?
Emma: I don't care. I'm tired of being told half-truths and maybe-truths and every other kind of truth. I want the FULL story, for all of us.
Daphne: That's right, no one ever DID really tell me what's going on, or how the boys can suddenly do all these strange things.
Lauren: *nods, placing a hand on her stomach* It would be nice to get the WHOLE entire truth.
Valerie: (Sees Lauren gesture) If nothing else, for your children's sake.
Emma: Lauren, you drive the MonkeeMobile. I'll go with you. Valerie, take Daphne in your car. (Points at four red dots in the distance) And we'd better hurry if we don't want to lose them!
Lauren: Right!
Valerie: I'm already there.
(The girls separate into their cars and take off down the dusty desert highway after the red specks. We fade out on the desert horizon and onto the darkness of the cave and the reflection of the afternoon sun on what remains of the MonkeeCave as the boys fly in and land.)
Micky: *shakes his head, taking in the mess* This could take a while.
Mike: (Sets the crystal down) We'll see what the crystal can do. It made this place. Maybe it can RE-MAKE it, too.
Faint Voice: Touch me, warriors...heal me...
Mike: (Frowns) What the...
Micky: Oh-kay, THAT'S creepy.
Faint Voice: Please, masters, warriors...heal...
Peter: Hey, who's talking? Are you ok?
Davy: Sounds a litt'l like a girl.
(The guys don't notice four female forms, one of them a bit pregnant, creeping softly down the hallway, stopping at the main entrance.)
Mike: I think it's coming from the crystal.
Micky: *nods* It sounds like it.
Peter: Crystals don't talk, Mike!
Davy: THIS one does!
Faint Voice: Masters...come...
Micky: And I think it wants us all to touch it. *raises his eyebrows*
Mike: Well, who's gonna argue with a crystal?
Peter: But crystals don't...
Mike: I know, Pete, this is too weird for words, but then...who else is in here?
Micky: Weird or not, I think it's a good idea to listen to it.
Davy: Might as well do it.
(As the girls step further in, the boys touch the crystal...and blue light suddenly flashes around the room and the four young men.)
Emma: Oh, my God! The crystal is growing!
Lauren: Oh, my Lord!
(And so it is, all up and down the walls, white and blue and green and red glowing everywhere. The machinery is restored to its original states, but the boys do not look like the boys when they pull away.)
Mike: (Looks at himself; he's dressed in a simple white tunic and black trousers) Ho-LY SHIT!
Peter: (He, too, wears simple clothing, a shapeless green jacket and brown trousers and boots. A mandolin is on one shoulder; a quiver of arrows on the other. He carries his bow) Oh, my...
Davy: (He's dressed far more elaborately than the others, in fine blue pants and hose, a slender sword by his side and a thin gold circlet around his forehead) Would you lookit US!
Micky: *eyes widen; he wears a simple red short sleeve shirt and black pants, and carries a dagger* Whoa, groovy!
Feminine Voice: (Now less faint) Welcome, masters, and my gracious thanks for restoring me from the minion of the Evil One, whom he called the Man Downstairs.
Mike: Who ARE you?
Feminine Voice: Once, I was your mentor and caretaker, good Sir Robert (pronounces his name Rob-BEAR, with the French rolled r.) After my death, you rescued me from the Evil One by locking my soul and powers in this crystal.
Davy: Miss Crystal, we don't understand.
Peter: Who's the Evil One?
Micky: *scratches his head* I'm lost.
Crystal: You've already had contact with him, I believe. He tried to sell Peter something in exchange for his soul...something he's tried to do for almost five hundred years.
(Emma and Lauren exchange looks and gasp; Valerie looks a bit frightened; Daphne is just confused. The boys all exchange worried looks.)
Mike: Zero.
Crystal: Is that what he's calling himself now? He always DID have an odd sense of humor.(A blue light flares in the direction of the girls) Ahh, soulmates, enter. You couldn't resist returning to those you love and protect.
Emma and Mike: (In unison, a bit annoyed) Soulmates?
Daphne and Davy: (Confused) US?
*Lauren just grins.*
Crystal: Please, ladies, I will not harm you. You are their lovers, the other halves of their wholes.
Mike: Dang, lady, you talk in worse riddles than Kristof did!
Lauren: *motions to the other ladies* Well, come on, already. *grins and heads farther in*
Emma: But...soulmates? (The other girls pull her in)
Crystal: Five hundred years ago, the Evil One came to prosperous men in Europe and tainted their minds, much like he's tainted the minds of those whom he has sent to ensnare you. The Evil One was my only guardian, but I rejected his ways and found all of you, a penniless, tormented French knight (glows at Mike), a shy, soft-hearted Bavarian bard (glows at Peter), a half-savage from the Italian wilderness (glows at Micky), and a pampered, strong-willed British minor Lord (glows at Davy.) I endowed the four of you with these powers. I saw the good in you that others did not...just as many now cannot see past your shaggy-haired, misfit exteriors to the good, kind men underneith.
Emma: We did.
Crystal: Yes, Emmeline of Germany, you were the only ones besides me who could see the true powers under the coltish youths. You and the other women, who took the men to your hearts and saw to it that you would protect them from the crafty, clever minions the Evil One sent.
Lauren: Wow!
Crystal: (Sighs sadly as the eight settle down around it) Each of you wed your soulmates and bore children with them, but the Evil One sought all of you out, driving you across Europe. He eventually found and killed your male ancestors, but the women and children fled and seem to have survived. For a long time, I feared emerging, in case of the return of the Evil One, but around the time of the second Great War, I decided it was time to return my warriors to the world.
Mike: Why didn't you tell us this before?
Crystal: I was in the hands of the Evil One for a time. Three years ago, one of his minions thought I was pretty and stole me. He drowned in a storm, but I washed up on the shore, which is how I managed to make my way to all of you.
(The other kids are all exchanging surprised, shocked looks.)
Mike: I don't believe this.
Crystal: You've always been like that, Robert.
Mike: Don't call me that! I'm Michael Nesmith! Not a warrior, not a fighter, just a plain old musician!
Crystal: But you ARE fighters, more than any of you believe. I gave you the powers of using the imagination to heighten both your creativity AND as added protection. You can create or destroy in an instant.
Micky: *grins* Really?
Davy: Miss Crystal, don't encourage 'im. 'E likes the "destroyin'" 'alf.
Peter: (Shakes his head) But...how...
Crystal: The Evil One weakend me. I could only communicate with you through my light, until all of you used me to restore the cave...and, with such concentrated energy, myself. (Smiles) When you were in Europe, you traveled undercover as a group of musicians and performers and their wives. I suppose that guise suits all of your creative talents. ;) :)
Valerie: This is unbelieveable.
Mike: I DON'T believe it.
Micky: This is groovy!
Lauren: Awesome!
Emma: Too weird.
Peter: (Shrugs) A little strange, but groovy!
Valerie: Certainly explains a lot...
Davy: I don't know...
Daphne: Oh, come on, Davy! I think it's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. :X
Mike: It's just...I've spent my whole life, bein' an outsider, and suddenly I discover I'm...special?
Crystal: You've always had the most tormented soul of all, Sir Robert. You're easily embittered by the harsh realities you've seen, and it makes you wary and distrustful.(Glows at Peter) And Peter, gentle and dear, has the most innocent soul of all, making both of you the most attractive to the Evil One.
Valerie: I will NOT let who I think you're talking about get anywhere NEAR Peter again!
Peter: Who is she talking about?
Valerie: (Sighs) Never mind, Peter.
Mike: So it's our job to keep this Evil One, as you call him, from stealin' souls.
Crystal: Or keep his minions from doing so. He's been sending people after you to stop this endeavor for the last three years.
Mike: Man, after all this...(looks at the others)...what do you guys think? What are we going to do about this? We can't keep up the MonkeeMan thing. It's getting too well-known.
Emma: It was kind of obvious, anyway.
Micky: Kinda sounds like we have to, though, at least in SOME way.
Daphne: As cute as the suits are, maybe you'd better lose them. ;)
Emma: And only fly during REAL emergencies.
Lauren: *winks at Micky* Or to show off. ;-)
*Micky grins.*
Daphne: (winks at Davy) Our two little performers.
(Davy grins.)
Mike: (Looks at his watch) We'd better be getting back. We've got a gig tonight.
Crystal: A gig? You mean, a performance? Please, enjoy yourselves. I always loved hearing you play.
Davy: (Pats the crystal) You know, you're a right nice girl, for a ‘unk of rock.
Crystal: Lord David, you always DID know how to make a girl feel good. ;)
*Micky rolls his eyes, smirking.*
Peter: (Hugs the crystal) Thank you, Miss Crystal!
Crystal: (Coughs) G...goodness! (Peter sets her down - she turns a bit reddish, almost like she's blushing) Thank you, Peter. That was appreciated. I can't remember the last time I was embraced...and I've NEVER been embraced quite like that. ;)
Micky: No one is until hugged by Big Peter. ;-)
(That gets a laugh from everyone, including the crystal.)
Crystal: Ahh, it feels good to be able to communicate with you again! (More seriously) Please, remain wary. The Evil One will not give up in his quest to ensnare Peter and Sir Robert.
Mike: Michael, Miss Crystal.
Crystal: (Glows at the ladies) Women, you lack the strength of the men, but you have imagination powers that are as strong or stronger than theirs. You are our first defense...and theirs. Watch each other, and keep an eye out for any danger. Come to me if events become too much and you need a place to flee the outside world.
Mike: (Nods) We will, Miss Crystal. You can count on that. (The crystal glows and returns the boys to their original clothes)
Miss Crystal: Now, off with you! Don't want you to miss your performance! Sir Ro...Michael...was always very strict about punctuality. ;)
Micky: *grins* Still is. ;-)
Davy: Some things nevah change. (Winks at Mike, who swats at him.)
(The crystal glows as the eight walk out into the bright afternoon sunlight.)
Davy: (To Emma and Mike) So, when are you two soulmates gettin' married?
Mike: We ain't soulmates, and...
Emma: Some day.
Micky: Oh, PLEASE! *rolls his eyes*
Peter: Didn't you hear Miss Crystal?
Mike and Emma (in unison): I don't know...
(They exchange annoyed looks as the others nearly fall over laughing.)
Davy: (Grins) Who's the twins NOW?
Lauren: Atleast it isn’t me and Mick this time. ;-)
Daphne: Seems to go around. ;)
Mike: (Looks at Emma) Darlin', we can't keep puttin' this off.
Emma: (Sighs) Well, we can't get married in December, that's Christmas, and my family is busy in November...
Davy: Then when CAN you?
Lauren: *rolls her eyes* Possibly BEFORE these little guys are born? *grins*
Mike: Lauren's havin' her babies in March...
Emma: October is Halloween and the beginning of the bands' busy season...
Emma and Mike: (In unison as they arrive at the car) What about February?
Micky: Ah HA!
(More laughter)
Mike: (Mutters, looking down) I guess February could be ok.
Emma: Yeah...maybe a few weeks after Valentine's day and Peter's birthday...
(The two kick at the ground and don't look at each other for a minute like shy schoolchildren.)
Lauren: You two are impossible! ;-)
(Peter takes Mike by his arm and starts pulling him towards Emma. Lauren gives Emma a little push towards Mike.)
Mike: Man, darlin’...(he embraces her) I guess February will be ok. I mean, we'll have some Valentine's gigs, but I guess I could let Pete play the lead guitar and Davy the bass...
Emma: I'll ask for the last weekend of February off, the Acme won't be so busy then, and I'll see if my parents are free...
Valerie: (Nods at the other girls) Maybe us ladies could hold a bridal shower.
Emma: (Grins) I'd LOVE it!
Davy: Do we get to 'ave a bachelor party, then?
Micky: Only you, Dave. ;-)
Mike: Couldn't hurt. (Sighs) But we have to go HOME before we make all these plans, sooo...(holds open the MonkeeMobile door for Emma) Your carriage awaits, my lady! ;) :x
Emma: (Reaches up and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek) Oooh, you really ARE a knight! (Gets in the car; Mike climbs in after her)
Valerie: I'll take Daphne back to Culver City. I've got to go that way, anyhow. I'm meeting a friend for lunch there.
Daphne: (Grins at Davy) How would you like to go and see that new Peter Sellars movie with me tomorrow afternoon, Davy?
Davy: (Grins) That would be groovy, luv! We'll see the 2 o'clock matinee, so you'll be nice and rested for your gig.
Peter: Are we still on for tomorrow, Valerie?
Valerie: Concert hall at eight for the piano recital. Wouldn't miss it for all the crystals in the world! ;)
Micky: All of this is so sweet, it's giving me cavities! *Lauren playfully slugs his arm*
Emma: (As Micky and Lauren get in the driver's and passenger's side seats and Peter and Davy get in the back) And how are the parents-to-be going to spend their evening?
Mike: Other than in bed. ;)
Micky: *grins at Lauren* Aw, you guessed! ;-)
Davy: You two are gonna be makin' more kids 'fore you've even HAD these! ;)
Lauren: *rolls her eyes* Trying to get his brain out of the gutter, as usual. ;-)
Peter: Play cards with him, Lauren.
Davy: Just not strip pokah.
Micky: That's not a bad idea...
Lauren: No.
(Everyone bursts out laughing as both cars roar to life. The blue car goes in one direction, the MonkeeMobile another. We follow the MonkeeMobile across the desert as it slowly evolves from canyons into homes, green lands, palm trees, and suburbs, to the tune of Micky's version of "I Don't Think You Know Me.")
(As the song ends, Micky pulls the MonkeeMobile past a sign that says "Welcome to Malibu Beach" and they pass a very old, weathered house with two moving vans parked out front. Micky stops by the vans.)
Peter: Hey, look, someone's moving into the old Montgomery house!
Micky: Wow...
Mike: Thought that place was haunted?
Davy: (Notices a trim, thin woman with very short hair, very large blue eyes, and very tight jeans emerge from the house, carrying a large box) Not anymore, Mike.
Mike: (Rubs his stomach) Man, I'm feeling funny. I got this weird feeling in my gut.
Peter: You do? So do I!
Emma: I do, too.
Micky: *groans* Nothing good EVER comes of this. I do, too.
Lauren: *frowns* I've got a bad feeling, too.
(The woman sets her heavy load down on the weathered wood wrap-around porch and jogs up to the MonkeeMobile.)
Woman: (Deep British accent) 'Ello, gentlemen (nods, making a face slightly), ladies. Nice to see some young, friendly faces around 'ere. Most of the people I've met today 'ave been ovah 50.
Davy: (Nods) Nice to 'ear a familar accent.
Woman: I'm from just outside of London meself. I'm a singah and performah. Me uncle left me this place, and I thought I'd fix it up for myself and (smirks) a few friends.
Peter: Oh, that's groovy! We're performers, too! We live right down there! (Points down the street) We're on Beechwood, the old beach house on the right.
Woman: (Smiles evilly; the boys miss this, the girls do not; she purrs) Oh, so you do? I may 'ave to come visit you someday. Or (purrs even more and looks into the eyes of the four boys, which have grown a tad bit glassy) perhaps you could visit me? I'll be terribly lonely in this big, old 'ouse all by meself.
Peter: (Nods; breathily) Yes, we will visit you.
(Emma and Lauren exchange concerned looks.)
Woman: I'm Shelia Saunders, luvs, and you're quite happy to meet me. Why don't we all set up a time to enjoy a spot of tea together?
Emma: (Frowns and shakes her head before the enchanted boys can respond) I don't think we're interested, thank you, Miss Saunders.
Woman: Oh, you're very interested.
Lauren: Actually, no, not really.
Emma: (Slight growl) I don't think we are. Mick, get us out of here! (Nudges Mike) What's wrong with you, honey?
Mike: (Breathy) Nuthin', darlin'.
*Lauren glares at Micky, who doesn't move. She smacks the back of his head. He smiles dazedly at her.*
Emma: Lauren, YOU take the wheel. Just get us OUT of here!
Woman: Why? What's wrong? I wouldn't mind it if the boys stayed.
Lauren: Right. Help me move him.
(Emma and Lauren manage to shove Micky aside. Lauren climbs over his lanky frame and into the driver's seat.)
Lauren: We're outta here! *shifts out of park and steps on the gas*
(Lauren speeds as fast as she can without getting a ticket to the Pad, where she practically skids into the driveway. The four boys all shake their heads and look around, dazed.)
Mike: Huh? What the HELL happened?
Peter: Where are we?
Lauren: What the heck was THAT all about back there?
Davy: 'Ow did we get 'ome?
Micky: *blinks* How'd I get over here?
Emma: (Bear growl) That...WOMAN must have done something to all of you!
Lauren: Like we NEED more of that. *makes a face*
Mike: Man, all I remember was suddenly craving tea.
Emma: Guys, stay away from that woman AND her house.
Lauren: Or else. *narrows her eyes*
Davy: Why? She seemed all right, luv, if a bit odd, with those eyes.
Peter: I thought she was nice!
*Lauren scoffs.*
Mike: (Crosses his arms) We'll go where we please.
Emma: Which is NOT to that house. Don't you remember the feelings in our stomachs?
Micky: *gulps* I was hoping it was indigestion.
Emma: There's something VERY wrong with that house and that woman. Stay away from both, all of you.
Mike: Man, Em, you're not everyone's mother!
Emma: Miiiikkkkeee...
Mike: Em, don't start...
Lauren: Here we go again! *groans*
Davy: Oh, come on, you two, you're supposed to be plannin' a weddin', not jumpin' down each othah's throats!
Mike: (Turns to Emma) Well, when do you want to have this bridal shower?
Emma: (Hands on hips) How about in two weeks?
Mike: How about if I had the bachelor party at the same time? Huh?
Emma: Fine! Keep you all out of our hair!
Mike: Fine! (Slams into the garage)
Emma: Fine! (Slams into the house)
Davy: (Sighs and looks at the others) That went well.
Lauren: They are never gonna change. *sighs*
Peter: They're gonna break the doors doing that.
Micky: And possibly other things.
Davy: Who's gonna go talk to Mike about the bachelor's party and who's gonna talk to Em 'bout the bridal showah?
Peter: (Gulps) And who's gonna clean up all the things they'll throw at us when they're mad?
Lauren: I'll talk to Em about the bridal shower.
Davy: The rest of us will talk to Mike. Come on, fellas. Let's plan some parties. ;)
(Lauren goes in the house as the other boys go in the garage.)
Lauren: Em?
(Emma is slamming around, throwing pots, pans, and knick-knacks back into place, muttering to herself.)
Lauren: *louder* Em!
Emma: Damn Texan! Even I could see what that woman was up to! What's WITH him? (Finally acknowledges her friend's presence - turns to her and smiles) Hi, sweets. (Shakes her head) I'm sorry, baby, but, well...(slams another pot into a cabinet)...that whole incident just got me so MAD...and Mike is acting like it never happened! And then, there's this whole deal with the soulmate thing and the crystal. (Shrugs) I don't really believe in soulmates.
Lauren: *sighs* I'm not overly happy with what just happened, either. As for the soulmates, okay, so maybe not really soulmates, but you two are pretty much made for each other. When you're not trying to kill each other, that is.
Emma: (Sighs) I guess...we are. (Shrugs) I'm just not used to it. I've always been a loner, and now, I have...(sweeps her hand around)...well, a group.
Lauren: I know how you feel.
Emma: I've always been on the outside looking in. (Looks at her friend, putting down another pan) This is...scaring me, you know?
Lauren: *nods* Yeah, I know.
Emma: Mike's like that, too. He's always been on the outside, alone. He's so confused. (looks at the dishwater; very quiet) I guess I am, too.
Lauren: *goes over to her friend* Em, it's okay. I would've been confused, too, if I'd had the time to think about it. *grins* I'm kinda glad I didn't have the time. I might've ended up acting worse than you. ;-)
Emma: (Smiles) I really do want to have a bridal shower, though. (Grins) Have you guys thought of what you're going to get Mike and me for our bridal gift yet?
Lauren: We've tossed around a few ideas. ;-)
Emma: (Winks) Oh? Anything interesting? ;)
Lauren: Let's just say it'll be something practical. ;-)
Emma: Good. We don't need anything fancy.
Lauren: Definitely NOT fancy. *grins*
Emma: (Goes to the phone) I've got to call Millie to cater this party. We'll have little cakes, and tea, and finger sandwiches. Then I'll send out the boys for decorations....
(We see Emma call Millie as Lauren shakes her head and the four boys come back in, Mike looking sheepish.)
Mike: (As Emma finishes the call) Hi, honey.
Emma: (Turns around; blushes) Hi, baby. How are you?
Mike: (Smiles) Oh, I'm fine, now. Got a talkin' to by my brothers here. (Indicates the other three) Hey, Lauren, mind if we hold the bachelor party at your place? You ladies can have the Pad for the bridal shower. ;)
Mike: Mick already said he didn't mind, but it's your place, too.
Lauren: *glances at Micky, who nods* Yeah, sure. Just don't break anything. ;-)
Mike: We won't break anything important, right guys? ;)
Micky: Or at least nothing that can't be replaced. ;-)
*Lauren rolls her eyes.*
Emma: (Giggles) You guys are BAD!
Davy: And proud of it, luv. ;)
Lauren: This bachelor party isn’t gonna entail anything that I'll have to kill Mick for, will it? *quirks an eyebrow*
Mike: (Goes to Emma and puts his arms around her, then turns to Lauren and smiles) Naww, Laur, we're just gonna invite a few of the guys over to play games and watch TV. Nuthin' big.
Emma: Suuurreee. ;)
Lauren: Just checking. :-P
Peter: That's all we're doing. Really!
Micky: I swear I'll be good, babe!
Lauren: You didn't have your fingers crossed when you said that, did you? ;-)
Emma: He could have. ;)
Micky: Hey?!
Mike: (laughs, then holds Emma more tightly) I never want to let you go again, darlin'.
(Emma just sighs.)
Davy: Well, come on, everybody! We got some parties to get ready for! :D
(And we cut to a few weeks later at the bridal shower. "Daydream Believer" plays on the jukebox and instruments are set up - the Westminster Abbies are taking a breather near a bowl of punch, chatting with Mrs. Filcheck. Millie talks with Valerie by the finger sandwiches. Opened presents are piled next to Mr. Schneider, who is dressed in a white suit with a flower in his lapel.)
(Other women mill around, chatting and congradulating the bride-to-be. White and yellow streamers and fake and real daisies decorate the living room and kitchen.)
(Emma makes her way over to Lauren, who sits by the bandstand, talking with the Abbies. The girls keep rubbing her stomach.)
Kimberly: (As Emma joins them) Man...twins!
Jenny: (Eager) Can you feel them yet?
Kimberly: Can we all babysit? :D
Lauren: *laughing* That tickles!
Daphne: (Rolls her eyes) You guys are WORSE than kids sometimes. ;)
Lauren: I don't feel them moving yet atleast, but I know they're there. And yes you can babysit! ;-)
Daphne: What are they going to be, anyway?
Maxine: Besides hungry. ;)
Lauren: Very funny. ;-) A boy and a girl. *smiles*
Maxine: A matched set. Cute. ;)
Jenny: One for the mom and one for the dad! How exciting! :D
Emma: Hi, guys. Keeping the mother-to-be company?
Lauren: Especially since the dad couldn't decide. Hey, Em!
Emma: (Nods at the Abbies) Thanks for the tickets to the Lovin' Spoonful concert in May, girls. Those must have cost you a pretty penny. :)
Maxine: I've got a cousin who works in the ticket booths at the Los Angelas Auditorium. He got them half-price. ;)
(That's when Emma notices an uninvited guest. Shelia Saunders wanders amid the women, nibbling on finger sandwiches, her blood-red sheath sticking out like a sore thumb amid the softer fall colors. Emma frowns and rubs her stomach.)
Jenny: Are you going to have a baby, too?
Emma: (Watching Shelia, distracted) Hmm? Oh, um, no, not yet, anyway. I just saw someone I know...
(Daphne puts her hand on her stomach and frowns, too.)
Maxine: Daph, what's wrong?
Lauren: Oh, man, I was wondering what that feeling was.
Daphne: (Shakes her head) Oh, nothing, Maxie. I must have eaten my cake too fast.
Emma: Let me handle this. (Goes to Shelia) Hello, and what are you doing here uninvited?
Shelia: You said this was open house for all women.
Emma: It ain't THAT open, sister. I'd be happier if you left, and this is MY party, so...
Shelia: I have every right to stay. (Looks around) Where are the young men?
Emma: (Puts her hand on her hip) Busy.
Shelia: You're very protective of those boys, aren't you?
Emma: So?
Shelia: Just be careful, little girl. We're watching you. He has ALWAYS been watching you...and he's very close to being ready to strike.
Emma: I don't know what you're talking about, but I DO know I don't particuarly like how you acted the last time I saw you a few weeks ago, so, could you please get out, before I call the police?
Shelia: (As the other five girls join her) Why? I've done nothing wrong.
Daphne: (Frowns) I don't know who you are, but if Emma says out, it means "leave now, and don't leave a message on the way."
Maxine: Yeah, man, what's with you? Can't you take a not-so-gentle hint?
Lauren: Or do you need a direct "get out this minute?"
Emma: Well, if she can't take a subtle hint, here's an UN-subtle one. (Takes an uneaten banana cream pie from the table and shoves it directly in Shelia's face)
Lauren: *claps* Great shot, Em!
Emma: Get out. NOW. Or I'll pick up a cake and shove it down that tight ass of yours. (Several of the older ladies' jaws drop. Millie applauds)
Shelia: (Splutters for a minute) You...you litt'l....(sighs and composes herself) Fine. You have the upper hand (pulls a banana slice off her face)...or rather, the upper banana...for now. Rest assured, little warrioress, my master WILL be back, and then (low hiss) we will have our revenge. (Turns and walks out very calmly and assuredly)
Millie: (Jerks a thumb at the departing Shelia) Only person in the world who hasn't appreciated my banana cream pie.
Kimberly: She got too up close and personal with it. ;)
Lauren: *smirks* That's for sure. ;-)
Millie: I'd say so, Lauren. ;)
Emma: You know, I wonder what DID happen to the guys?
Maxine: (Rolls her eyes) They're holding a bachelor party, right? I'll bet they're all drunk as skunks and drinking out odd objects by now. ;)
Lauren: And Mick's wearing the lamp shade on his head. *grins* ;-)
Emma: (Elbows Lauren) Why don't you call them? Just to check up on our little cherubs. ;)
Valerie: If they're able to talk coherently. ;)
Daphne: I'll bet they won't be able to find the phone.
Lauren: Assuming that and they didn't disconnect the phone. *goes over to the red phone*
Kimberly: I'll bet they won't be able to find the furniture. ;)
(All four Abbies, Emma, Valerie, and Millie lean over Lauren on the phone.)
Millie: (Grins) Took my Herman more than a week to recover from HIS bachelor party!
Lauren: *dials and waits* Well, they heard the phone enough to pick it up, but didn’t respond.
Valerie: Anything breaking?
Millie: Any beer cans being smashed against heads?
Kimberly: Any wolf whistling and rustling silk undies coming off of strippers? ;)
Lauren: I hear... *rolls her eyes* Off key singing... ;-)
Emma: Well, that's safe enough. ;)
Lauren: And the owner of that voice, I'm sure, has his lamp shade. *shakes her head* Whoever picked up the receiver didn't answer, they just took it off the cradle!
Millie: Is the place still in one piece? Marge Purdy is over here! ;)
Emma: (Chuckles) Maybe we ought to go over there and see if the place is still in one piece.
Daphne: Not to mention the boys. ;)
Millie: I'll go with you. Ought to be good for a few laughs.
Lauren: *eyes widen* Oh, God, Mike's got a chandelier! ;-)
Emma: As long as he isn't lucid enough to find himself a gun. ;)
Lauren: We've gotta go NOW, whether he is or not!
Emma: Ok, everyone out. We'll take the Abbies' van.
Valerie: Yeah, I don't want them puking on my car or the MonkeeMobile.
Kimberly: Hey, we just replaced that upholstry!
Maxine: Yeah, five years ago. :P
(All seven women file out...and cut to Lauren's apartment, the scene of...well, very interesting things.)
*Lauren fights with opening the front door as there's clothes flung everywhere...on the floor, on the furniture. The women stand in the doorway, gawking. The guys sit around in their shorts, and in one case, shorts and lamp shade. Mike, Davy, and Peter sit at a card table playing Poker. There's no Poker chips. They're using M&Ms. Micky stands on the couch, looking like he's surfing on it and singing a very off-key "Surfin' USA" to music that no one but him can hear. The phone receiver dangles by its cord on the end table next to the couch.*
(Millie almost falls over laughing right in the doorway.)
Maxine: Oh...my...god.
*Lauren's eyes widen. She slaps her forehead.*
Kimberly: Oh, this is adorable. ;) 8-|
Valerie: I'm rather enjoying the show. The closest I've gotten to seeing Peter this naked is in my dreams. ;)
Emma: (Rolls her eyes and goes to the poker table) Ok, guys, what's going on?
Mike: (Slurred) Em, you're interruptin' our poker game.
Davy: (Indicates Mike) 'E's winnin'!
*Lauren goes over to the couch & tries to get Micky to stop "surfing"... or at least to stop singing.*
(Jenny blushes and hides behind Maxine.)
(Daphne giggles uncontrolably, steps into the room...and joins Millie in almost falling over laughing.)
Millie: Oh, good grief! And I thought my Herman was bad...
Emma: At least they didn't call a stripper. ;)
Lauren: *groans* Unless we just haven't FOUND her yet.
Kimberly: (Holds up two empty cases of liquor) They've been busy bees. ;)
Peter: (Loud burp) Two queens.
Davy: Three eights.
Mike: (Grins; slurred) Beat'cha bya mile! Royal flush! (Throws his hand on the table.)
Peter: (As Mike scoops up more M&Ms; whines) Aww, that's not fair! Mike's been winnin' all night!
Valerie: (Chuckles) Poker never was your game, Peter darling. ;)
(Kimberly and Lauren start checking around the furniture for a stripper.)
Micky: *very off-key and loud* You’d catch ’em surfin’ at Del Mar, Ventura county line, Santa cruz and trestle, Australia’s narabine. All over manhattan, And down Doheny way. Everybody’s gone surfin’, Surfin’ USA...
(No one notices a small, sleek black car sitting across from the apartment...whose occupant is wiping whipped cream off her face and muttering about uppity soulmates.)
Kimberly: (To Lauren) Isn't there any way we can stop him?
Mike: (Over his shoulder) Hey, Mick, turn off the record player! Can't hear myself think!
Lauren: *considers* Yes, but that's not the sort of thing I'd do in front of an audience. *makes a face*
(That only sets the girls off again.)
Emma: What are we going to do with them?
Lauren: Cage them?
Micky: *continues* We’ll all be planning that route we’re gonna take real soon. We’re waxing down our surfboards. We can’t wait for June. We’ll all be gone for the summer. We’re on surfari to stay. Tell the teacher we’re surfin’, Surfin’ USA!
Daphne: I like the cage suggestion. Davy would be very sexy in a cage. ;)
Davy: (Puts up an arm) Yeah, that's me, David Jones, the wild man!
Daphne: (Sighs) Oh, please.
Lauren: *tries to make herself heard over the singing* MICK! *Micky just keeps on singing; Lauren sighs and flops down on the couch*
(Emma finally takes all the remaining M&Ms and jams them in her mouth.)
Millie: (Chuckles) I think that's her subtle way of saying "Game over," fellas. ;)
Peter: Hey! I haven't won yet!
Valerie: (Takes his arm as the girls start rounding up clothes) Win tomorrow. Go home now.
Emma: You guys look like you're going to pass out, anyway.
Lauren: *jerks her thumb at Micky* All except him!
Emma: No, you get to have the fun of dealing with him. ;)
Lauren: *unenthused* Yay me. :-P
Millie: (Takes Davy's arm) Come on, honey. Escort an old lady home. ;)
Davy: (A bit slurred) Certainly, Millie. I'm always good to the ladies. (He gets up and almost falls over backwards. Daphne and Millie catch him) I meant to do that. (He walks out with both ladies on each arm, still a little shaky)
Valerie: Peter... (but Peter has passed out on the floor, snoring heavily) Oh, good lord. Someone help me with him.
Maxine: Let me give you a boost there..and him. ;) (She picks up one end of Peter, Valerie picks up the other end, and they carry the drunk boy out.)
*Lauren waves after them.*
(Jenny takes the pile of clothes and follows.)
Emma: (Puts her arm around Mike) Come on, honey. Let's go home. :)
Mike: Em?
Emma: Yeah?
Mike: I don't feel so good.
Emma: Hoo boy. Let's get you to the driveway... (They hurry out)
Lauren: *glances around the now empty apartment, then up at Micky; rolls her eyes* Hoo boy...
Micky: *finishes the current verse, then flops down next to Lauren, grinning* Hey, babe!
Lauren: *blinks* What...
Micky: *chuckles* I was only goofing with the singing. The other guys loaded up on the liquor. I thought it'd be safer this way. ;-)
Lauren: *shakes her head, smirking* You ARE brilliant. ;-)
Micky: Ain't I? *grins widely and puts an arm around Lauren*
Lauren: There's one thing you didn't think of.
Micky: What's that?
Lauren: YOU'RE cleaning up the mess. *grins*
*Micky's grin falls. He makes a face.*
(We cut back to the sleek black car, whose occupant has finally gotten all the banana cream off her face.)
Shelia: Damned git is payin' for this dress...cost me a 'undred pounds in London, it did... (that's when there's a strange noise, a kind of chirp. She pulls out a walkie-talkie like object and speaks into it) Yes, this is Shelia. (Makes a face) 'ello, Uncle. No, the boys weren't there tonight, and I 'aven't been able to find them. Yes, I AM working on bringing them to you. No, I won't hurt those two or 'er. Wouldn't mind damangin' the othah girls, though. (Sighs) Yes, Uncle. (slaps the walkie-talkie down, pulls the throttle, and the last we see is her black car roaring off into the dark Beechwood night before the screen fades altogether.)