Emma: Sooooo....everyone ready to find out more about you guys...and find out what happened to Kristoff?
Lauren: Definitely!
Mike: You'd better believe it! I wanna get my hands on that asshole so bad...
Peter: (Puts his hand on Mike) Peace, Michael. Getting angry won't help!
Micky: As long as Mike still promises not to kill me for telling. ;-)
Mike: Micky, I promise not to kill you. Yet. ;)
Micky: Whew! That's good. *pauses* Hey!?
Davy: Mike, lay off of him. (Makes a face) And I'm ready.
Mike: Aw, Mick, I'm teasin'. ;)
Micky: Okay...for real?
Mike: We'll see. ;)
Peter: Michael...
Emma: Maybe we'd better start...
Micky: Oh, maaan!
(The four boys hugging each other on the beach fades out. When we fade back in, we're back in the hide-out, with Lauren staring wide-eyed at the four Monkees surrounding her.)
Mike: ...And now you understand what all the secrecy is about.
Lauren: Wow. I didn't realize.
Mike: (Low growl) They never found Kristof. No one knows what happened to him. He just disappeared after that day. The Coulters are currently resting six feet under in a cemetery in the San Fernando Valley. The police searched for Kristof for nearly a year before they finally gave him up for dead.
Peter: The Coulters' house is still empty. No one's moved in there since. I guess people think it's haunted or jinxed, like the old Victorian mansion at the very end of Beachwood Street.
Mike: And if you needed more proof (rolls up the sleeve of his overalls) here's what that bastard did to my arm. If I hadn't reacted in time, this is what my face would look like.
(A long, deep scar crosses Mike's arm from his elbow to almost his shoulder.)
Lauren: Oh, my Lord!
Mike: No amount of "imaginin'" has made it go away.
Micky: It explains the lack of short sleeve shirts in his closet. ;-)
Mike: (nods) There's no way I'm gonna try to explain this. I don't know how I'm gonna explain it to Em.
Peter: We tried to find Kristof again, but he just...poofed. Vanished.
Micky: Into not so thin air. ;-)
Peter: (Puts his arm on Lauren's shoulders) Lauren, are you ok? Are you scared?
Davy: Of course she is, Petah! She just found out 'er 'usband 'as amazin' powahs and may be bein' pursued by a diobolical maniac!
Lauren: *raises her eyebrows* I do understand why you guys didn't want to tell anyone.
Mike: Right. And why we still can't tell anyone.
Peter: And why we didn't want to tell you or the other girls.
*Lauren nods.*
Mike: (Looks at his watch) We should be gettin' back now. They're gonna miss me at the garage.
Davy: (Shrugs) My audition is ovah, but I could go down to the valley and ask around at some of the stables for a job.
Micky: *shrugs, an arm around Lauren* We have the rest of the day to ourselves.
Peter: Mr. Bennet said I didn't have to come back, but I want to. I think he's really lonely. His wife is deceased, and his children are scattered all over the country and don't see him much.
Mike: If you two want to stay and (grins) admire this place, have fun. Mick can tell you more about his equipment. ;)
Peter: And how we found this place! :D
Micky: Hey, yeah! *grins widely*
Lauren: *nods* I'd like that!
Mike: Just clean up after yourselves, kiddies. ;)
Davy: And fix the sheets when you're done. ;)
Micky: *salutes* Yes, dads! ;-)
*Lauren groans, hiding her face.*
(The guys chuckle as they take off...or, rather, Mike and Davy do. Poor Peter jumps, flies a little, and lands off-camera in the entrance tunnel.)
Peter: (Off-Camera) Oof! (Sigh) Oh, well, I'll get it right someday! (Calling as his voice fades out) Hey, guys, wait up!
(Micky just shakes his head, grinning and holding Lauren.)
Lauren: *grins* Poor Peter. ;-)
Micky: He's spent the last three years trying to get that right. He came closest right after we turned Bernie Class in. Of course, he landed in the bushes next to the Pad and we had to clean up the mess, but at least he got further than usual. ;)
Lauren: He got off the ground. :-)
Micky: And Mike...man, he and Kristof both did numbers on each other. The right side of Kristof's face was really badly burnt and (softly) you saw Mike's arm.
*Lauren nods.*
Micky: (Thoughtful) Kristof's burnt face...I wonder... Maybe that's why no one can find him. He must have either had some kind of surgery on his face... or left the scars like that so he couldn't be recognized.
Lauren: Almost like Two-Face in the "Batman" comics...
Micky: (Nods) Right, or like Lord in Mike's Western trip. Remember, all Lord had to do was lose a couple of pounds and shave to go incognito.
Micky: Anyway... (smiles) What do you think? About this place, the MonkeeMen... everything? You know we'll protect you if that Kristof does come back... especially you.
Lauren: Of course! It's amazing! We didn't realize there was so much behind the MonkeeMen. I kinda feel bad for making you tell me.
Micky: Naww, it was bound to come out sometime, and maybe it should have come out sooner than later.
Lauren: As long as Mike doesn't kill you. ;-)
Micky: You don't know how much better I feel now that I've told you and am still breathing. (Grins) Besides, I wouldn't be surprised if the other girls get the guys to spill. Peter wants to tell Val.
Lauren: I won't be surprised, either. It is kinda nice to know why you guys attract so many kooks. ;-)
Micky: Yeah, they just came fast and furious after that. I mean, it wasn't so bad in the beginning. There was just the horse thing, and that (rolls his eyes) chaperone party that I will never live down.
Lauren: Since the others won't let you... ;-)
Micky: Davy ended up dropping the girl like a stone less than a week later. Her dog kept chasing him. The damn thing was bigger than him! (Waggles his eyebrows) I think Mrs. W is still seeing the General, from what we can gather from her when she's lucid. ;)
Lauren: *chuckles* What a cute couple. ;-)
Micky: (Grins) Just adorable. You should see them out on the town. She's drunk half the time, and he thinks she's being cute. I just hope he never looks in her bag. ;)
Lauren: Or he's in for a big surprise! ;-)
Micky: (Sighs) That was one of the last normal things that happened to us. First, there was the thing with Davy and the Princess of Harmonica... who, according to the local papers, has made a fairly good queen, from what I've gathered. There was the spy thing, too. Wonder what happend to Madame? Boris did end up getting sent to Levinworth, where, as far as I know, he's still serving his twenty-year sentence for espionage. Mike said something about switching the microfilm...
Lauren: If Mike did switch the microfilm, I wonder what Madame ended up with? ;-)
Micky: (Eyes widen) I'll bet I know. (Makes a face) I was wondering what happened to that movie I made of us fooling around on the beach!
Lauren: *chuckles* I'll bet that didn't sit too well. ;-)
Micky: (Grins) Man, I'd give anything to have seen the look on all those Chinese officials' faces when they saw us goofing off instead of secret plans! I'll bet there's nothing left of Madame by now! :D
*Lauren laughs.* :D
Micky: Let's see, weirdness. There was the gypsies and the incident with that scientist guy who brainwashed Pete's memory. (Makes a face) Please don't mention either of those incidents around Peter, by the way. He totally flips.
Lauren: I wouldn't do that to Peter.
Micky: Marcovich and his assistant are in jail, as far as I know, and we've actually heard from Maria. She took her brood back to Europe to work up a new act. She claims to have reformed, although if I were in Europe, I would keep a very tight hold on my wallet and any jewelry. Oh, and that Monkey's Paw. What an idiot we all were to fall for that magician's lines! I don't blame him for wanting to unload the thing, but we were trying to help him! (Makes a face) I don't think he liked us very much, even after we got the manager back for him. :p
Lauren: I seem to recall the guys saying something about that Monkey's Paw. *grins*
Micky: From now on, I'm going to be very careful what I wish for. I'm quite attached to my voice. ;)
Lauren: You do that. I'm also rather attached to your voice. ;-)
Micky: Then there's Zero, of whom the less said, the better for society as a whole. Please don't mention that around Peter, either, or Mike. They gave that harp to Val's dad's music society the day after the trial. That thing scared them both shitless, and Davy and I weren't too thrilled, either. We all practically felt sick when Zero was around.
Lauren: I don't blame you guys.
Micky: The Oraculo incident happened not long after that. (Blows on his nails and buffs his shirt, grinning) And, if I do say so myself, I'm rather proud of how I handled that. It was up to Captain Goodness to rescue Junior Goodness and the Goodness League from the clutches of evil!
Lauren: *laughs* And you're oh so humble about it! ;-)
Micky: (Absolutely beams) I was the only one who figured out that you had to smack someone to knock them out of the spell! Those two weren't arrested, but I think they're actually trying to run a real dog act now with hypnotized dogs. See their act sometime. It's hilarious. ;)
*Lauren shakes her head, grinning.*
Micky: (Shrugs) The Wizard Glick and his followers wandered off to who-knows-where after our little buddy Frodis fumigated them. (Smiles) I almost hated to see that guy go. He was a nice guy, for an alien plant with amazing powers. (Sighs) And then, there's all the recent weirdness. (Frowns) I wonder if someone's been messing with our minds the whole time. I mean, the Manchester trip alone got nastier than I thought any of our brains could be....
Lauren: It's a possibility, but who'd do such a thing?
Micky: (Shrugs) I dunno. Oraculo was pretty much discredited after we made a joke of his act, and the Frodis is long gone. They're the only ones I can think of who tried to mess with our minds, other than... (growl) that woman...
Lauren: Mick...
Micky: (Blushes) I'm sorry, babe. I just...I know, I should tell you more about this, but what happened... (Eyes widen) Someone wanted that to happen. To hurt us...the guys...Em... (Eyes widen) Someone is after us really bad. (Makes a face) Which doesn't exactly narrow it down, since half the lunatics in the universe seem to want a piece of one or more of us. :p
Lauren: Not really, no. *shakes her head* :-P
Micky: (Turns to Lauren) Would you like to see the equipment? Maybe it could help us get some answers and show you what kind of mechanics Mike and I are at the same time. ;)
Lauren: *nods* I'd love to see it!
Micky: First, the monitor. (Goes to a place in the wall and pushes round, smooth pieces of colored crystal. The huge, square-shaped crystal lights up, showing images of the neighborhood, currently Millie's bakery. Emma and Millie chat over cups of, respectively, tea and coffee.) We built this to keep an eye on the neighborhood. When the crystal (indicates the large blue crystal in the center of the room) flashes, we know something's wrong. The monitor is programmed to instantly pinpoint the location of the problem. (Shrugs) It's only on Millie's right now because that's the last place there was a problem.
Lauren: And that's how you guys knew when to show up. *smiles* Cool!
Micky: Right! We can see anything with this! Watch! (Pushes a few crystal buttons, and the scene switches to the garage. We see a pair of lanky legs under a car. Mike emerges, dirty but fairly happy. He hands a towel to an older man, who also wears a pair of overalls.) Anything you wanna see? Maybe I could program it to bring in NBC...
Lauren: *chuckles* That's okay, Mick. Go on with the tour. ;-)
Micky: Ok! Any requests, oh Lady Goodness? ;)
Lauren: *blushes* Oh, man, any vehicles?
Micky: Wanna see the MonkeeMobile? ;)
Lauren: *blinks* I've seen the MonkeeMobile, unless you've done something to it. ;-)
(Micky whistles innocently.)
Lauren: What'd you do?
Micky: Maybe we could look at some of the cars in the garage where Mike works....
Lauren: I'll let you have that one for now. You pick something. :-)
Micky: Let's stay at Mike's garage. Mr. Cardelli has some great antique cars! He takes them to shows and sells them to collectors. Mike and I used to go drool over them every now and then. :)
(The camera roams lovingly over a line of beautifully restored cars from the 10s, 20s, and 30s.)
Lauren: Wow, I think I'm drooling over them now! ;-)
Micky: Aren't they gorgeous? Mr. C and his son Jeff and daughter Karen do that all themselves. The silver Phaeton in the back is one of only 300 ever made! :)
Lauren: Oh, my goodness! :-)
Micky: And... (frowns - the camera picks up some dark shadows roaming around the antique cars) Hey? What in the...
(There's a flashing blue light that glances off the crystalline caves.)
Lauren: Uh oh.
Micky: (Pushes more buttons to zoom in on the shadows - five men in black, their faces almost completely concealed by masks, move in stealthly behind the autos. One disappears under the Phaeton. His eyes widen) Holy shit! That thing is Mr. C's pride and joy! :(
Lauren: What the heck are they doing?
(Mike walks in on the scene, followed by Mr. Cardelli. Mike pushes Mr. Cardelli behind him and puts out his hand, trying to reason with the men, who continue to brandish wrenches and tire irons.)
Micky: Oh, god! There's no way he can get to a phone booth...and it probably wouldn't be a good idea to use the imagination power. The blue light would be too obvious! (Kisses Lauren) Babe, we've gotta go. Mike's in deep trouble, and so are all those beautiful machines.
Lauren: Okay.
(Micky turns quickly to another machine and pushes crystal buttons. This crystal flashes to reveal another, smaller screen. Davy is on the other end, on the street and looking annoyed.)
Davy: Micky, I'm tryin' to 'ave a bloomin' conversation wit' Daphne 'ere!
Micky: Davy, Mike's in trouble! There's thugs at the Cardelli's Garage. They're destroying his antique cars, and are about to destroy Mike, too.
Davy: (Eyes widen) Oh, man... (Looks around) I've got to go. I'll call Petah and tell 'im to meet us at the garage.
Micky: And hurry! I don't know how long Mike can keep up his end. The thugs are blocking him from getting to a phone booth, and the imagination power is too obvious. :o
Davy: Rightoh! (The screen goes blank)
Micky: (Turns to Lauren with a shy grin) Communicators. We all have them. Peter and I keep them in our wallets - Mike and Dave's watches turn into communicators. I'll show you mine when I'm back in my own clothes. (Grins) So, up for a flight, babe? (Gently scoops up Lauren and her purple pillow)
Lauren: I'm always up for a flight, Mick, as long as you don't throw your back out trying to lift me. ;-)
Micky: Nahh, you're as light as a feather! (Grunts a tiny bit as he scoops her and her purple pillow into his arms) Ok, a somewhat large feather, but a feather.
Lauren: *smirks* Uh huh. ;-)
(The two fly out of the cave, soaring through the air to the tune of "Storybook of You." The scenery pass by them, and Lauren stares wisftfully into Micky's brown eyes. He grins at her and nuzzles her, passing surprised cartoon birds and waving at even more surprised pilots and stewardesses in commercial airplanes. Micky lands next to a grocery store in downtown Malibu Beach as the song ends. He gently sets Lauren on the sidewalk outside the store, next to a phone booth.)
Micky: (Quickly) Call the police. Tell them there's a robbery going on at Cardelli's Garage on Fifth Street, and that innocent people may possibly be caught in it. Hurry! (Gives her another quick kiss) I love you, babe! (Takes off)
Lauren: *calls after him* Be careful! *rushes into the phone booth and dials*
(Cut to the interior of Cardelli's Garage, where the masked men taking swings at Mike and Mr. Cardelli. Mike manages to duck out the way, trying to guard the older, burly man as much as possible.)
Mike: Man, you guys, don't you have any respect for history? (Ducks away from another swung wrench, which misses and knocks over a tool box.)
Mr. Cardelli: My family worked hard on those! They're like our children!
Thug 1: The Big Cheese says they've got parts he needs. He need old parts to complete his mus... oof! (Another thug elbows him)
Thug 2: Ixn-ay on the usic-may, Gary!
Thug 1: But, I was just tellin' them what the Big Cheese wants the parts for!
Thug 3: They don't need to know any more than they already know.
Mike: Look, you're really startin' to bug me. We have a lot of cars we've got to work on, so if you'll just step aside...
Thug 4: (Shakes his head) Sorry, sonny. The Big Cheese don't like it when people don't deliver. He's been known to get very messy with those who come back empty-handed.
(One of the thugs finally hits Mr. Cardelli over the head. He doesn't hurt him, just knocks him cold.)
Mike: No! Not again! Get away from him! He's my boss, and he's a damn good boss, too - understandin' 'bout our gigs and my schedule, teachin' me everythin' he knows about cars and car history. He's been around them since most of you were in diapers! (Grabs a hammer from the tool box, but one of the thugs knocks the hammer out of his hand. Another grabs his arms.)
Thug 2: (Grins) I gotta idea, fellas. Why don't we show this boy how the Big Cheese treats people who try to get in his way? (The men drag Mike to the table and hold his right hand firmly on the table.)
Mike: (Struggles as a whooshing sound is heard from outside) Why don't you just give up now? You're surrounded, jackass.
Thug 4: (Picks up the sledgehammer, a very big one) Those are very pretty fingers, boy. How would you like a few more of them? We could arrange for them to be in pieces, (the men spread out Mike's fingers) one finger at a time.
Mike: (Glares, still struggling as one man grabs a leather strap and lashes Mike's hand to the table) You can hit me all you want. I've had worse. You're still gonna go down!
(And, the moment those words leave Mike's lips, the door to the area where the cars are blows open. Micky flies in, grinning.)
Micky: Here I am to save the day! Hey, don't you guys know it isn't nice to outnumber someone?
Mike: (Grins) I knew that sound was familiar!
Thug 3: What the hell is that?
Thug 2: (Scratches his head) A good guy from the "Batman" show?
Micky: *shakes his head* Man, you guys are dumb!
Thug 1: Why don't you enjoy our little show, Batman? We're about to increase the amount of bones in your friend's hand. (Raises the sledgehammer over Mike's hand - he flinches)
Micky: I suggest handing that over before you hurt yourself!
(Mike struggles wildly.)
Thug 1: (Grins at Micky's slender physique) And what are you and Skinny Number 2 gonna do to me if I don't?
Mike: You don't wanna know. ;)
Micky: Would you like the condensed version?
Thug 4: I've always prefered the longer versions myself.
Micky: *holds out a hand* Give me the sledgehammer. Now.
Thug 1: (Holds it up and aims for Micky as Mike tries desperately to pull his hand away from the leather strap) How about I use it on you, Bones?
Micky: *grins and waves his hands for the thug to come after him* C'mon, show me your worst!
Thug 1: With pleasure, runt! (He swings at Micky... and misses by a mile, as Micky suddenly appears on the other side of the room.)
Micky: Oh, please! You aren't even trying! *does a "nya nya" at the thug*
Thug 2: (Lets Mike go and goes after Micky with a wrench) Wanna see me try, kid?
Micky: Why not? You've gotta be better than him! *motions to the thug with the sledgehammer*
(They both come after Micky at once. He ducks around them, barely missing the thug with the wrench.)
Mike: (Yells, still working on freeing his hand - his other arm is being held behind him by a thug) Mick, watch out!
Micky: *slightly uneasy grin* Hey, I think you guys're getting better. (Looks at Mike) Huh?
(One of the thugs delivers a solid right into Micky's gut. He doubles over.)
Thug 2: That's how we'll try, Skinny!
Micky: *coughs* Foul! *groans* Oh, crap...
Thug 1: (Holds the sledgehammer over him as Mike howls in anger, struggling) Get him!
(There's two more whooshing sounds, and Davy breaks through the window on the other side of the room. Peter falls through the roof a few seconds later.)
Peter: (Rubs his head, but he's grinning) I almost had it, guys! I just need to work on my landing! :D
Davy: Petah, we'll discuss your flying lessons latah. Right now (indicates the doubled-over Micky, the struggling, growling Mike, and the thugs coming up on them) we've got largah problems. :o
Peter: (Looks up; eyes widen as he stands) Oh, man, just a few...
Thug 2: (Brandishes the sledgehammer at Davy) Well, well, look what we have here. A little girl and a blondie.
Davy: (Narrows his eyes) Ok, pal, between that comment and what you've done to me best friend, you've asked for it. (Ducks under his legs and pulls his pants down, then pulls up his underwear, which has Superman on it.)
Peter: (Goes to Micky) Are you ok, Mick?
Micky: *coughs* Oh, just peachy. *pauses* Got a paper bag I can breathe into? *coughs*
Peter: (Blue light, and a paper bag with a blue bunny drawn on it appears in his hand) Here's my lunch bag! (Hands it to Micky)
(Thug 2 screams like a girl. Davy grins.)
Davy: Do not mess with the mastah of wedgies! ;)
Micky: *small grin* That'll work, thanks, Peter. *shakes his head, then takes a few breaths*
(Davy closes his eyes - there's a blue light, and the thug's pants disappear entirely. He's now only in his Superman underwear. The entire room tries to hide their chortles, including Mike and Peter.)
Peter: (Pats Micky on the shoulder) Just keep breathing, Mick. You'll be ok. We're gonna need you. There's a lot of guys here!
Micky: *nods* Just a little more. *coughs*
(The pantsless thug screams like a young girl, then runs out of the garage, trying to cover his undies.)
Davy: One down, four to go, including the fellow 'o is still undah that nice cah. (Indicates the legs sticking out of the Phaeton.)
Peter: (Goes to the thug holding Mike's arm and taps him on the shoulder - in his bad southern accent) Hey, now, I don't think a littl' ol' gentleman like yourself should be treatin' a fellow gentleman that way.
Thug 3: What's it to you, blondie?
Peter: That's just one of mah dearest friends, and I don't like to see his pretty hands smashed up like a cat playin' with a Christmas ornament. (Picks up a black rag and ties it around his eyes.)
Thug 3: (Shrieks) I can't see! Where am I? (Walks out of the room, bumping into everything he touches, including Micky and the remaining thugs.)
Micky: *chuckles* Good one, Pete! *coughs*
Mike: (As Peter unstraps his hand) Thanks, buddy. Thought I was gonna end up with two damaged hands.
Peter: (Shakes his head) I couldn't let him do that to you, Michael! Your hands mean so much to you... you use them to play guitar, to write music and stories, to...
Mike: (Waves his hand - softly) You know the stories are secret! They're just a little hobby of mine.
Peter: (Blushes - softly) Sorry, Mike! It slipped! (Whispers to Mike) Use the phone booth near Millie's to transform.
Mike: (Nods, rubbing his wrist) Right! (Heads out as the two remaining thugs surround Micky, Davy, and Peter)
Davy: (Rubbing Micky's back) Mick, how ya feelin' now? We're gonna need your help...
Micky: Better. A little winded, but that won't stop me. *grins*
Davy: Good (indicates another thug coming at them), 'cause it's your turn.
Micky: Oh, boy!
(Another thug grabs at Davy - he pulls him over to the table and straps his hand on it, where Mike's was.)
Davy: That oughta hold 'ya. ;)
Peter: Oh, boy, two left. :p
Micky: Oh, yay. Don't these guys ever learn?
(The thug takes a swing at Micky, but he's ready for him this time.)
Micky: *has a hold of the thug's fist* What a nice fist you got, and a nice arm... *grabs hold of the thug's elbow and twists his arm behind his back. He puts one foot to the thug's back and boots him across the room, where he crashes into the wall; dusts his hands off* Gee, that was fun! *grins*
(Mike steps through the opening in the wall the thug left when he went through, now dressed in his MonkeeMan uniform.)
Mike: Gee, I hope I'm not interruptin' anything. ;)
Micky: We saved you one!
Mike: Oooh, and it's the one messin' with the car, too! I do love the way you boys think! (Pulls the man out from under the car and holds him by the scruff of his neck. He struggles)
Thug 5: Man, lemme go!
Mike: (Thick drawl) Not 'till we get some info from ya, pardner! We wanna know who your boss is.
Thug 4: (Who is strapped to the table) Can't tell. Big Cheese would whittle us down to small circles of gouda!
Thug 5: (Crosses his arms and smirks) Plus, we have no idea.
Mike: Oh, come on, how can you not know who hired you?
Thug 5: (Shrugs) Some guy in a car asked us if we wanted to make some easy money ripping off garages and warehouses that had equipment he needed. We thought he was off his nut, but the cash was good and paid in advance, so who were we to judge? (Shrugs)
Davy: (Joins the others) Warehouses?
Thug 4: Something about needin' specific parts. Factories, warehouses, stores, garages. He says some of the parts he needs are so old, he can only get them in certain places.
Mike: (Looks at the others over his shoulder as sirens are heard in the distance) So, what should we do with him?
Micky: *winks* Pants him? *shrugs* The other guy got away. ;-)
Mike: I have an idea. (Grins) Do you guys remember what we did to each other when we first discovered we could fly? ;)
Peter: You turned each other over and shook all the spare change out of your pockets!
Micky: *grins* I like the way you think!
Davy: (Grin a mile wide) For once, Mike, you have an absolutely splendid idea. ;)
(When the cops arrive, Micky and Davy are holding the man upside-down, shaking everything out of his pockets, while Mike tries to question him and Peter collects the objects that fall to the ground. The other man is still struggling.)
Thug 4: (Whines) Aww, man, the Big Cheese is gonna hurt us when he finds out about this...
Sergant Nielson: (All of the police officers immediately break into guffaws the moment they enter) Oh, my stars... :))
Mike: ...And where were you on the night of... (looks down and drawls again) Oh, hi there, Mistah Officer! We were just pickin' up these nasty varmits for you.
Sergant Nielson: (Trying to hide his smile) You can bring him down now, boys. We'll take both these guys for questioning.
(Two men are already helping Mr. Cardelli to his feet. The old man rubs his head, but otherwise seems fine.)
Davy: (Scottish accent) Why, I dunno, laddie, I quite like the wee little monstah this way! ;)
Micky: Just when we were having fun! *grins*
Thug 5: Man, all the blood is rushin' to my head!
Micky: That's the fun part. ;-)
Mike: Good, maybe your brain will actually start to work now... and you'll reconsider jumpin' at an offer given to you by a man in a dark car. :p
Thug 5: (Moaning as the boys bring him down) Never again! Never again!
Sergant Nielson: We'll book him, boys.
(The cops take the two men away, one still moaning over losing the contents of his pockets and being turned upside-down. Mike tries to cover his face with his cape, hiding from his boss.)
Davy: (Notices Mike's discomfort) Eye, laddies, I be thinkin' we'd best be on our ways now.
Micky: *nods* Gettin' a little too crowded in here.
Mike: (Still trying to hide through his cape) Ok, MonkeeMen, our work here is finished! (Points to the thug-shaped hole in the wall) Up, up, and awaaaaay! (Takes Peter and carries him, flying out.)
Micky: He keeps stealing the good lines! *takes off, following after Mike*
(Davy accidentally runs into a wall before he makes it out. Cut to the guys in mid-air, flying in the blue sky over the desert, back to the hide-out.)
Mike: Man, what was THAT all about? (Looks at the other guys) Thanks, fellas. If Mick hadn't shown up when he did, I'd now have two hands that don't function right. :p :o
Micky: Ahh, it was nothin' Mike. *waves it off*
Davy: I wondah what they wanted the cah parts for?
Peter: I hope they didn't damage those pretty cars too badly! They were so groovy!
Mike: I don't think they made off with anything Mr. C and his kids and I can't fix.
Micky: That's a relief. *whew*
Mike: I'd love to know who the guy in the black car was.
Davy: And what 'e wants with old cah parts.
Mike: (Makes a face) Especially that.
Peter: (Holds out the items collected in his hands as they fly into the main entrance of the cave) Maybe there's some clues in the stuff in his pockets! :D
Mike: Right now, they're our only clues. Those guys weren't talkin'.
Micky: *grins* Pete, the pickpocket. ;-)
Peter: (Shrugs) I wasn't picking his pocket. It was on the floor!
Micky: Makes it easier that way. ;-)
Davy: (As they enter the crystalline cave) 'E's got a point. The stuff was on the floor. It were fair game. ;)
*Micky sticks his tongue out.*
Mike: (They land, Mike setting Peter on the ground) Come on, guys. Knock it off. We've got to find out who the man in that car is.
Peter: (Sits on a crystal seat surrounding a table-like chunk of crystal) Here's what I found! (Dumps an assortment of items on the table)
Davy: (Holds up a string of dental floss) Nice to see a criminal who cleans 'is teeth twice a day. ;)
Micky: Now that's funny! ;-)
Peter: He likes gum! (Holds up a pack of Juicy Fruit and several chewed wads covered in aluminum paper.)
Mike: (Holds out several crumpled sheets of paper) Now we're gettin' somewhere... (reads them with interest)
Peter: Mike, what do they say?
Davy: Don't 'old your fellow MonkeeMen in suspense, Mike!
Micky: Yeah, spill, Mike!
Mike: Addresses. They're addresses and a list. (Puts the papers on the table for all to see)
Peter: A list of parts!
Davy: (Frowns) Strangest list I evah did see! Parts from dairy factories, cloth and silk thread from clothin' establishments, old auto parts, new auto parts, computah parts, musical instruments...
Mike: Nice to know we're dealin' with a real Renaissance man. :p
Micky: *scratches his head* What the heck?
Peter: (Continues reading the list) ...Chemicals, synthetic stones...
Micky: *whistles* Geez!
Mike: (finishes) ...Record players, and jukeboxes? Man, and I thought we'd run into wackos before...
Peter: I guess he's got a lot of interesting hobbies!
Davy: 'E needs a 'obby that makes bloomin' sense! :p
Mike: I can't see a connection between any of this, except for the musical stuff.
Mike: (Hands Micky the paper) Mick, why don't you use that chemistry set of yours to find out where this paper came from while we decipher the addresses?
Micky: *nods* Sure thing! *whistles as he heads over to the chemistry set*
Davy: Just don't blow anything up!
Mike: The last time you did, it took us three days to fix your side of the cave! :p
Micky: *calls after* You guys're just JEALOUS! :-P
Davy: Nahh, we've just got enough sense to leave the blowin' things up to you! ;)
Mike: (Micky is just barely visible, tinkering with a chemistry set in room off the main one where the crystal has a reddish tinge) Ok, guys, see if you recognize any of these addresses.
Davy: (Frowns) Well, 'ere's the garage.
Peter: Hey, here's an address for the chemical company in Los Angelas!
Mike: And there's a couple for a few other garages in the San Fernando Valley.
Mike: (Calls over to Mick) How's it comin' in there, boy?
Micky: Wait, I've almost got... *noise like a small explosion* Oh, MAN! :-P
Davy: 'E'll be in theah for HOWAHS!
Peter: Oh, I think he'll be able to find out where the paper came from! I have faith!
Mike: Oh, I have faith in him. I just hope we have enough crystal to repair the damages. :p
Micky: I HEARD THAT! *another small explosion* I almost HAD it! *grumbles*
(The others just shake their heads and return to the addresses.)
Mike: (Looks through the papers) They ALL correspond to the list. (Calls over his shoulder to the red crystal room) You almost done in there, Mick?
Micky: *another small explosion* Aw! (Sighs) I have good news and bad news. *comes out of the room, his face is darkened from the explosions*
Mike: (Crosses his arms) Ok, Mick, how badly did you damage your part of the hide-out?
Micky: Just needs a little cleaning. *shrugs* You want the good news or bad news first?
Peter: (Puts up his hand) Can we have the good news? I don't know if I could take any bad news right now.
Micky: The good news is it looks like the ink used to write the list came from the chemical company in LA. *shrugs* It's ink, I don't know. This is just regular old run of the mill paper, though. That's the bad news.
Peter: (Frowns) Maybe they've already been to the chemical company.
Mike: If they have, it'll probably be in the news.
Davy: Anybody 'ave a shortwave radio that can pick up signals from LA?
Peter: Or maybe the monitor can get the NBC news.
Mike: Hey, Mick, have you worked on that combination radio, radar, and pizza-maker you were foolin' around with a while back? ;)
Micky: Yeah, but I haven't really tested the radio yet.
Davy: This would be the perfect time to, mate. :)
Peter: And can we test the pizza-maker, too? I'm hungry!
Micky: *heads off to the reddish room again* I've already tested that, Pete! ;-)
Peter: Did they come out? I want spinach with goat's cheese and pineapple!
Mike: Make a plain cheese half for the rest of us. :p
Micky: They came out great! *comes out the with combination radio* The only problem is you can only use one part of it at a time.
Mike: Meaning news first, eat later.
Peter: Awwww!
Micky: I know, Peter. ;-)
Davy: Petah, you'll live.
Mike: (Starts to turn knobs on the radio) How do you get this constarned contraption goin'?
Micky: I told you, I haven't TRIED the radio yet. *shrugs* I don't know...
Davy: (Suddenly, there's a slightly static-y squawk from the radio) Here we go!
Peter: Do you think we could get a classical station?
Davy: Petah, we're listenin' to the news heah. This ain't the MonkeeMobile.
Mike: Then we'd all be arguin' over which station to listen to... (turns knob more - it comes in clearer) Here's somethin'.
Micky: *nudges Peter* You can play with it later.
Peter: (City-lighting grin) Ok! :D
Announcer: And in the news, President Johnson said...(pause, ruffling papers - boys lean over the radio expectantly) News flash! Local chemical company rocked by major theft of synthetic gemstones, wires, chemicals, and various chemical-related impliments. The thieves are said to be at large in the Los Angelas area. Chemists and executives on the scene reported seeing a dark green van with Nevada license plates leaving the scene just after the daring heist. Anyone who sees this vehicle or the stolen goods should report...
Mike: (Switches off the radio) Oh, man...
Peter: Guys, they DID rob the chemical company!
Davy: But, synthetic stones...why?
Mike: Man, this is strange, even for us. :p
Micky: It's BEYOND strange. :-P
Mike: Does anyone have the SLIGHTEST idea of what all this means, other than someone has a lot of weird hobbies?
Davy: Not a clue?
Micky: Nadda.
Peter: Someone wants to wrap the stones with the cloth and then make it into cheese using the computer and the car parts?
Mike: (Shakes his head) Nice try, good buddy, but I doubt it.
Micky: *stares; blinks* You did not just say that, Peter. ;-)
Peter: I didn't just say what?
Davy: (Sighs) Nevah mind, Petah.
Mike: Maybe we'd better be gettin' back. Mr. C's gonna need my help with the cars when he gets back from the station.... (suddenly, the crystal starts blinking again) Now what?
Davy: Micky, call up the monitor.
Micky: You got it! *pushes a few buttons; the monitors turns on*
(We see a typical factory, far more typical than the one depicted in "Head Trip." The various machines cream, mix, boil, mold, and wrap blocks of American cheese. Emma stands with several men in lab coats, getting interviews. She looks bored. Suddenly, men dressed in lab coats and overalls swarm over the group. They take the men, then surround Emma, who tries to fight them off as best they can.)
Mike: Oh, god! EM! Come on, guys, she's in real trouble!
Micky: Oh, geez!
Mike: Let's go, MonkeeMen! (He jumps up quickly and shoots out of the cave. The others follow, Davy carrying Peter.)
(We cut to the factory. Several men in overalls are strapping Emma to a conveyor belt. The belt leads to the machine that boils the cheese.)
Emma: (Struggles) Damn it, let me go!
Man in Lab Coat: (He is very thin. We only see part of his face, which is rather ruggedly handsome.) Now, now, my dear, don't struggle. You're just going to go for a little swim.
Emma: In boiling hot milk! I KNOW you rerouted this belt to dump me in there! I saw the men! I knew you were working on SOMETHING!
Man 2: Goodness, she's a fighter, isn't she?
Man 1: Relax, plump child. Relax. (Takes a thick cloth and winds it in her mouth) You'll soon be out of your misery. You know too much. (To some overall-sporting workers) Turn on the machine now, boys. (Nods at some of the other workers) You boys take those scientists down to my labs. They're some of the most brilliant minds in the country. They may be working for the dairy industry now, but they'll soon be working for MY industry.
(The men jab needles into the scientists' necks. The four men sink down on the floor, whimpering, then pass out. The men in overalls carry them out.)
Man 1: Put them in the car. (Watches in delight as Emma pulls at her bonds and the conveyor belt inches closer and closer to the milk vat) Calm yourself, young lady. You'll be going on a nice, long, soothing journey...after your body melts along with the rest of the milk in that vat.
(Suddenly, the huge window near the roof breaks...and four figures dressed in tight red-and-black spandex fly into the factory.)
Micky: Now THAT'S an entrance! ;-)
(Mike lands on the floor near the conveyor belt, where the tall man watches in shock, anger, annoyance...and recognition.)
Mike: (Taps the man on the shoulder) 'Scuse me, sir, but I don't think this little lady wants to be made into tomorrow's cheese sandwich on rye.
Man 1: (Turns around and glares) You...you little... (jumps on him - they land on the conveyor belt, near Emma, who watches in surprise and horror.)
(Men in overalls surround the other three.)
Peter: (Looks at Mike in horror) Someone keep these guys busy, and someone else go and turn off the conveyor belt, before Mike and Emma end up getting more than their daily share of necessary calcium and other important nutrients! :o
Davy: Mick, you're good wit' machines. Why don't you go 'elp Mike? We'll keep this crowd busy.
Micky: Good! Besides, I kept them busy last time! *takes off for the conveyor and stops next to the controls; scratches his head* How the heck do you work this thing?
Man 1: Don't you remember, you little brat? What you did to me that day?
Mike: Sorry, no, I don't.
(Emma watches them, wide-eyed.)
Man 1: We scarred each other that day, but I had mine repaired...somewhat...
(We finally see the other side of his face...which is beautiful, but in an unnatural, prettified way, almost unearthly, robotic.)
Mike: My god...you...
Man 1: Yes, me, boy. (Takes advantage of Mike's surprise to hit him square in the gut and knock him over.)
*Micky pushes buttons. The conveyor slows, moves faster, slows again, & finally stops. Micky runs the back of a hand across his forehead.*
(The man jumps off while Mike is doubled over. He runs to Micky.)
Man 1: You too. I was hoping to encounter all of you again someday. Now, be a good boy and turn that back on for me, so I can eliminate a few problems.
Micky: *shakes his head* I don't think so, pal!
Mike: Micky...(coughs)...don't let him...it's... (coughs again)
Man 1: I know who all of you are. Those red suits don't hide your true selves one bit. (Goes to Mike as he's still doubled over and yanks his arm. He pulls at the spandex sleeve...revealing the scar given to him by Kristof. Emma's eyes widen and she gasps under her gag.) This is the child who destroyed my gorgeous face that day three years ago (points at Micky), and you and your runty friend were helping him!
Micky: *narrows his eyes* So what if we were?
Mike: You...you...Micky, its...Kristof...
Kristof: You destroyed my life that day. I had to go into hiding, have my face reconstructed.
Mike: (Pulls his arm away, his eyes blazing) You MURDERED an innocent couple!
Kristof: Who were not-so-innocent. They'd been doing...favors...for me for years. I wanted a few more from them. They specialized in the musical aspects of my inventions.
Mike: They SAID they didn't want to anymore! You were forcing them!
Kristof: Not force, young man. Just...heavy persuasion.
(Emma is watching all of this with very wide eyes, still struggling.)
Micky: I'd say that's forcing.
Mike: (Stands to his full height) You bastard, you killed two of the kindest, sweetest people on the face of the planet...and I'm NOT about to let you kill anyone else! (Hits him in the gut as hard as he can....and sends him flying into a machine on the other side of the room. He hits it and knocks out cold.)
Davy: (Calls from the group of men, which has increased and now surrounds him and Petah) Guys, we could use some 'elp 'round 'ere...
Peter: (Wails) MIIIIICHHAAAEELLL!!!!
Mike: Go help the guys. I'll be there in a minute.
Micky: I'm comin', guys! *heads for the group*
(Which kicks off a romp to "Sunny Girlfriend." Mike unties Emma and carries her to safety on a quiet catwalk above the machienery.)
(Davy starts flying as fast as he can around two of the men, making them very dizzy. They get so dizzy, they pass out. Davy ties them up with electrical cords.)
(Peter offers one man a bowl of cream-of-root-beer soup. He takes it, drinks it, gags, clutches his throat, and runs for the nearest bathroom. Peter snaps his fingers and makes a face at the bowl.)
*Micky floats just above a couple of men. They keep trying to jump up to pull him down, but he's just out of their reach. They get winded. Micky drops himself on them, send them sprawling on the floor.*
(Mike chases the men to the conveyor belt where the cheese is being stamped. He gets on the conveyor belt, and they chase after him. He gets off, then pushes the lever to speed up the belt. The men can't get off in time. They go through the opening, and when they come out, they're "tied" with plastic lables for Louie's Fine American Cheese and Yogurts.
(The four run into the center of the room as the romp ends, chased by the remaining four men. Three of them jump up and hover; Mike grabs Peter, just in time to let the men run into each other, then fall onto another conveyor belt, this one molding the cheeses. When they come out, they're each shaped like blocks.)
Mike: Well, I think our work here is more than done. (Grins at their handiwork)
(Emma watches the fracas from the catwalks above, still wide-eyed.)
Emma: Oh, my god...