Emma: Everyone ready to discuss...ahem...alternative selves? ;)
Mike: No.
Peter: Do we have to?
Davy: We have alternative selves?
Micky: Oh, come on guys...
(We begin in the Pad in the morning, as we so often do. Emma is mixing pancake batter, stirring mix and eggs and chocolate chips. Peter sits at the table, sipping tea and reading the paper.)
Peter: (Sighs, shaking his head) Such violence in the world today... (grins, flipping the paper) Hey, Em, look at this! Millie's bakery is opening today!
Emma: (Puts down the wooden spoon she was mixing batter with and leans over Peter) Oh, groovy!
Peter: (Reads) "'Millie's Cheesecake and Other Goodies' Grand Opening! Today at 10 AM! Come around for prizes, raffles and cheesecake like Mother used to make! Nothing makes you feel better than a slice of home-made cheesecake!" (Peter frowns) Mother didn't make cheesecake. She made a wonderful cherry pie, though! :D
Emma: (Sighs, shaking her head) No, Peter. (Smiles) I was wondering when Millie was going to open.
(Mike ambles downstairs half awake, dressed in mechanic's overalls. He goes to the counter and pours a cup of coffee as we hear a knock on the door.)
Mike: (Yawns) Mornin', all. (Goes to the door; Micky and Lauren stand behind it) Oh, hi, guys. Glad you remembered rehearsal.
Micky: Well, rehearsal's only part of it. *holds up a copy of Millie's ad*
Emma: Hi, folks! (Holds up the spoon) Just in time for breakfast. I'm making chocolate chip pancakes in celebration of your new job. :D
Lauren: I barely mentioned it, and he was already in the shower. *grins*
Mike: Huh? Speak slowly, Lauren. I just got up. #-o
Lauren: *shrugs* Sorry, Mike.
Davy: (Stumbles downstairs) What's all the commotion?
Peter: Millie's bakery is opening today, and Emma's making chocolate chip pancakes!
Davy: (Smiles) Groovy! (Nods at Mike, who's pouring his second cup) I think I'll 'ave some of that, too, Mike.
Mike: And we've got to rehearse for the first day of our big new gig tomorrow. :D
Micky: It's gonna be a busy day! *whistles as he and Lauren go over to the psychiatrist's couch*
Lauren: Mick, just please don't buy out all of Millie's goods. :-P
Emma: Yeah, Mick, I don't think Lauren has 73 spare bucks to spend on your stomach this time. ;)
Mike: Bad enough you cleared out an innocent candy shop! ;)
*Micky sticks his tongue out.*
Peter: (Grins) Oh, don't worry, Micky, I'll help a little! I'm gonna call Valerie, too, and maybe Mr. Bennett will want to try some.
Mike: I'll see if I can get down there on my coffee break.
Emma: (Shakes her head) I've got to turn in my story, then I'm working at the store. I won't get in until much later. :p
Davy: I'm going to check a few local theater companies and see if they need a spare actah. :)
Peter: Mr. Bennett gives kids music lessons. He's getting old, though, so he asked me if I can help him with some of the lessons. I'm going to help him clear out his house, too. I can't wait!
Emma: (Puts plates of pancakes in front of Lauren and Micky) What about you guys?
Micky: We don't actually have much going today. Lauren took the day off &, of course, I had to take the day off, too...
Lauren: And you're rambling. (Shrugs) I wanted to start doing some shopping today, actually. ;-)
Peter: Shopping?
Emma: For baby stuff, probably. :)
Lauren: Naturally. :-)
(Emma puts plates in front of Peter and Davy as Mike joins everyone at the table.)
Emma: Have either of you asked your folks for baby stuff?
Micky: I asked Mom if we could raid the attic. I'll be doing that on an upcoming weekend. *smirks*
Lauren: My folks would have to ship anything they have, so I'm gonna wait & see what all we can get around here first.
Emma: Raiding attics is fun. You never know what you'll find.
Mike: We used to play up in Aunt Kate and Uncle Patrick's attic when I was a kid.
(Emma joins the group at the table with plates for herself and Mike. She pulls Lauren up from the table.)
Emma: Would you gentlemen excuse us? I have to...ask Lauren something. (Takes her into Davy and Peter's room.) Lauren, do you think we ought to bring up last night? The whole superhero thing? I know damn well that was the guys.
Lauren: *nods* I'm curious about it myself. I say we should.
Emma: How should we bring it up? It'll be like prying teeth out of them, especially Mike.
Lauren: *sighs* That's the tough part.
Emma: I'd like to know when and how this came about. By the time we all got home last night, it was really too late to discuss it. The guys went straight to bed before I could even open my mouth.
Lauren: And I wasn't sure how to ask Mick about it.
Emma: Maybe we should catch them off-guard...
Lauren: That does usually work on them. ;-)
Emma: (Nods) Come on. We're going to get to the bottom of this, whether Mr. Nesmith likes it or not. :p
Lauren: Darn right!
(Emma pulls Lauren back into the kitchen. The guys are busy tucking away pancakes. Micky is slathering his with butter and rivers of syrup.)
Emma: (Gulps, nervous) Um, guys?
Mike: (Doesn't look up from shoveling pancakes in his face) Uh-huh?
Emma: We wanted to ask you about last night...
Davy: What about last night, luv?
Emma: I don't know how to say this.
*Lauren nudges her.*
Peter: Oh, come on, Em! (Turns one of his big grins on her) Whatever you have to say, it couldn't hurt us!
Mike: (Mutters) Shows what you know...
Emma: (Glares at Mike, then gulps and says) How did you guys end up being the Monkeemen?
(Four forks drop on four plates in startled unison. All four guys gaze up at the girls.)
Mike: What?
Lauren: Did we hit a nerve? *small smirk*
Peter: Monkeemen?
Mike: Emma, have you been borrowing Mick and Lauren's superhero comics?
Emma: Knock it off, guys. We all saw you last night.
Micky: *eyes wide, nervous* It was someone else.
Emma: Please. What kind of fools do you take us for?
Mike: How could we be superheroes?
Emma: Two words: imagination power.
Lauren: *pokes Micky's arm* I'd know that mop of curls anywhere!
*Micky looks like a deer caught in headlights.*
Emma: Mike, you can try to cover that drawl all you want, but there just aren't that many Texans in Southern California. Peter, don't even get me started on your idea of a southern accent.
Peter: It worked with the hillbillies!
Emma: Yeah, but Lauren and I aren't Jeb Clampson.
*Lauren nods.*
Davy: (Sighs) Guys...
Mike: Girls...
Emma: (Crosses her arms) We aren't leaving until we get the full story.
Mike: (Starts to stand) Well, I think it's time to rehearse...
Lauren: Oh no, you don't!
(The girls block his way.)
Mike: Um, ladies, this is all well and nice, but we do need to rehearse, so... (the other guys just stare at their breakfast plates)
Emma: No rehearsals until we find out exactly what's going on. You are not looking at Lois Lane here... and we live with all of you, for God's sake!
Mike: Em, you are not my mother!
Emma: No, I'm your fiancee, (indicates Lauren) and she's his (points at Micky) wife. We deserve to know, if nothing else.
Lauren: If you don't say something I'll get it out of him *points at Micky* later. You know I will.
Mike: (Looks down, very softly) We can't tell you.
Emma: Why not?
Mike: You'll be in danger.
Lauren: What would you call what we've already been through?
Emma: Oh, come on, guys, quit trying to protect us. You've seen us handle everything from wizards to gunslingers to a homicidal former prostitute! Valerie and Daphne should know, too. I'll bet they already do. They aren't stupid, either.
Micky: *winces; whines* Eeeemmm!
Emma: Don't "Eeeemmm" me, George Michael Dolenz! I just want some solid facts out of all of you. What is going on?
Peter: (Whimpers) Mike, she's serious. She's using full names.
Mike: It's our business!
Emma: As your wives, fiancees, and sweethearts, it's also our business. How much longer do any of you think you'll be able to hide it, anyway?
Davy: (Shrugs) We've done pretty well so far.
Lauren: *sarcastic* But you were only a little obvious last night. *quirks an eyebrow*
Emma: For Christ's sakes, you only wear giant Ms on your outfits!
Mike: Em, look, we really can't tell you.
Emma: You are going to tell us, Mr. Nesmith, if it means we have to stay at this table all day until you do!
Mike: Emma, I'm not a little five-year-old who isn't eating his spinach!
Emma: YOU'RE ACTING LIKE IT!
Peter: Maybe we should. I think Valerie does know.
Davy: (Looks at his plate) Daphne mentioned something to that effect last night...
Micky: *sighs* Mike, just tell them. *rolls his eyes*
Mike: Well, if you guys think so...
Peter: It would probably be better for all of us, Michael.
Davy: Oh, for God's sake, Mike, stop bein' so darn stubborn! It ain't 'elpin' you or the girls.
Mike: (Sighs and looks at the floor) We...we're...
Emma: (Puts her hand on his shoulder) Come on, honey. Just say it.
Mike: (Nods) We're, well, superheroes. We were the ones who saved you and Valerie and the concert hall last night.
Peter: But only part-time!
Mike: (Tries to get around the girls again) Well, now you know. Let's play.
Lauren: We knew that part already!
Mike: Well, what do you want?
Emma: Details would be nice.
Lauren: The how and the why and any others you'd care to share.
Mike: (Looks to the others) Guys...
Peter: Michael, it couldn't hurt now. They won't tell anyone else. They know us!
Micky: You have to ask, Mike? *raises his eyebrows*
Davy: Mike, they'll keep askin' us until we tell them, anyway.
Micky: I would've told Lauren already except that you'd chew my head off, Mike!
Mike: Well, I didn't think they needed to know (sighs), but I guess I was wrong.
Emma: The details, fellows. Today.
Mike: (Nods) Ok, we're the MonkeeMen. We've been the MonkeeMen for about three years.
Peter: Since about six months after we first met.
Davy: (Nods) You've probably noticed that we seem to attract...strange people.
Peter: We found a crystal that let us fight the weirdest of the weird people!
Lauren: A crystal?
Mike: Or somethin'. We found it on a secluded part of the beach one day after...well, after some trouble in the neighborhood. It made us stronger, let us do things we couldn't do.
Peter: Like pick up big guys and pull off their pants!
Davy: And fly.
Mike: And that's that. We started doin' the MonkeeMen thing as back-up for real emergencies.
Lauren: I can take a wild guess at whose idea the costumes were.
(Three pairs of eyes turn to Micky.)
Peter: Micky said we ought to look like the superheroes in his comic books!
Micky: *shrugs* We needed costumes! :">
Mike: If it were up to me, we'd just wear black shirts and black pants.
Micky: The shorts are black.
Davy: Thank goodness it weren't up to you.
(Mike glares at Davy.)
Emma: (Sighs) So you go around solving crimes in the neighborhood.
Mike: (Shrugs) We were doing that already. This way, we could defend ourselves and the neighborhood against major wackos that we wouldn't be able to handle normally, Dragonman being an example.
Peter: (Whimpers) Please don't mention that, Michael! He almost hurt Micky and me!
Micky: I'm still not too fond of that, either.
Davy: We almost didn't come out of that one alive. That Dragonman was two egg rolls shy of a take-out meal. (Makes a face) I'm glad Millie bought that place. They nevah 'ad very good food, anyway.
Peter: I thought they did! :D
Micky: So did the dog we don't have. ;-)
Peter: (Makes a face) You know, the CIS never did give me my bag back! :p
Mike: I thought I smelled egg rolls on Modell's breath. (Tries to go around the girls again) And now that you ladies know, can we play, please? We really do need to rehearse, and some of us have to be going to work soon, too.
Emma: (Sighs) That's not the whole story. I can tell. However, I will let you off the hook for now. (Glares at Mike) Don't think this is over, though. After rehearsal, I want the rest of it.
Mike: There is no "rest of it." That's all there is, and there isn't anymore.
Lauren: We'll see about that. *winks at Micky*
Micky: Oh, geez...
Davy: (Leans over Micky and whispers) We're in a lot of trouble, aren't we, mate?
Micky: *gulps* Tons of trouble.
(The boys go to the instruments as Lauren settles down on the psychiatrist's couch and Emma turns to the dishes.)
Peter: (As he tunes his bass) Hey, Lauren, how are the little ones coming? Can you feel them kicking yet?
Davy: That's right, luv. 'Ow are the little buggahs? 'Ungry as their da?
Lauren: It'll be a little while before I can feel them *smirks*, but they've got me eating almost as much as Mick. ;-)
Davy: They take aftah Micky's side of the family, then. ;)
Lauren: Apparently. ;-)
Micky: Ha ha ha ha...yeesh.
Mike: (Nods at Lauren with a smile) Any requests from the audience?
Lauren: Ooooh, I always have a request. ;-) How about Mick's new one, "All Alone In The Dark"? *waggles her eyebrows*
Mike: (Winks) Aren't you guys that enough as it is? ;)
Micky: She loves my voice. What can I say? ;-)
Peter: Come on, guys, let's play!
(And they do, going into a general performance video, just shots of the guys playing the song while Lauren watches dreamily and Emma listens from the kitchen, sometimes stopping with a thoughtful look on their faces. Emma joins Lauren as the number ends. The boys bow for the ladies. The girls clap, smiling.)
Emma: Bravo! You should do that one tomorrow at the Club Fairview.
Peter: I'm soo happy we got that gig!
Micky: And a steady one at that! *twirls his sticks*
Mike: Guess something good came out of being swindled after all. (Looks at his watch) I've got to go. I've got work. (To the guys) Do you guys want to meet in the... place... around lunch? We'll need to discuss... new complications...
Davy: (Frowns, then nods) Sure, Mike.
Emma: The place?
Micky: *groans* Great...
Lauren: I knew there was more! ;-)
Peter: What place?
Davy: (Elbows Peter) The... place. You know?
Peter: Ohhhhhh! (He still looks confused.)
*Micky shakes his head, sighing.*
Emma: (Turns to the others) What place, guys? I'm assuming you don't mean the Pad or Micky and Lauren's apartment.
Lauren: Guys... *crosses her arms*
Mike: (Hurriedly takes off Black Beauty and puts her in her case) I've got to go. I'll see you later. (Runs out the door)
Peter: (Puts his bass away) You know, I've really got to go to Mr. Bennett's. He's waiting for me. Bye! (Runs out the door)
Emma: (Turns to the boys remaining on the bandstand) Micky...Davy....
*Micky turns a worried look to Davy.*
Davy: I...I...Micky, Mike will kill us!
Micky: I know that. *frowns*
Davy: Um, maybe we'd better go, too... (starts to get off the bandstand, laying his tambourine on a table)
Emma: Guys, you know we're going to pry this out of you, whether you like it or not.
Lauren: That's right. *nods*
Davy: Do you 'ave to do it today? I was goin' to go to a try-out for a local production of "A Christmas Carol," and Micky, don't you have to do...well, something?
Lauren: Mick isn't going anywhere. *grins*
Micky: Uhhh...
Emma: Come on, guys. What's the worse that could happen?
Davy: Mike could kill us.
Micky: Exactly.
Emma: You think I'm worried? I know how to handle him. He's my fiancee!
Davy: 'E's really protective about this...
Emma: There's something he isn't protective about?
Micky: Besides, we're the ones who're worried!
Davy: Hey, Micky, don't we 'ave a dental appointment, or somethin'?
Lauren: *laughs* We? ;-)
Davy: We got them togethah, so we could support each othah when we 'ave to go up against the drill. (Elbows Micky) Right, Mick?
(Emma just rolls her eyes.)
Micky: *looks torn* Dave...
Davy: (Whispers to Micky) Mick, Mike will 'ave our bloomin' 'eads if we spill about the 'ide-out!
Micky: I know, I know, but the girls aren't gonna stop asking, and I hate keeping this from Lauren. *frowns*
Davy: Maybe we'd bettah just take a note from Mike and Petah and get outta 'ere. We'll tell the girls latah. Despite what Mike thinks, I agree. They ain't gonna stop askin'.
Micky: I don't have anywhere to go, Dave. I was gonna go shopping with Lauren. She'll just keep asking!
Davy: (Sighs) Tell 'er... well, tell 'er a little. Just general stuff. We'll give Emma the details tonight. She's a bloomin' reportah, remembah!
Micky: *groans, rolling his eyes; overdramatizes* I'm a dead man...never get to see my kids...
Davy: You'll be fine. (Grins) Use your famous method of persuadin', the one that's makin' you a da in the first place. ;)
Micky: Dave, it'll only work for so long. ;-)
Davy: Just feed 'er little details, but nothin' big until we can talk Mike into spillin'.
Micky: *takes a deep breath* I can do this, I can do this...
Emma: (Sighs) If you boys are quite done...
Lauren: Sometime today...
Davy: (Tries his famous Jones smile - neither girl is convinced) I'm just going to take a look at those auditions, then I've got a date. I'll bring 'er around to Millie's latah. Um...I'll be leavin' now... (hurries out the door.)
Micky: Oh, God...
Emma: Men! (Throws up her hands in annoyance) See if you can get anything out of him. I've got to get to work. (Goes downstairs to her basement room, leaving Micky and Lauren quite alone. ;) )
Lauren: *smirks* Well, well...
Micky: (Gulps) Um, yeah, well (takes her arm and grins as charmingly as he can) why don't we just head out? After all, sales wait for no mother...
Lauren: The sales can wait. *smiles, batting her eyelashes* Come on, Mick, all I want to know is where this "place" is. Please?
Micky: (Kisses her) You know, those kids are going to need places to sleep and clothes to wear...
Lauren: They aren't gonna be born tomorrow, Mick, there's still six plus months for buying stuff. How long will it take to tell me about this place? Less than five minutes?
Micky: (Gulps) It's where we go to meet...you know, to discuss...stuff.
Lauren: *snuggles up to Micky* You know I'm not gonna let this go. Mike won't kill you, and he isn't here right now. *smiles again*
Micky: Aww, babe...well...Mike doesn't want anyone to know. It's our...hideout, you know?
Lauren: How is our knowing gonna hurt anything?
Micky: Because if people find out what's there, we'll never get a moment's peace, and someone might try to take the crystal...
Lauren: No one else knows who you guys are. No one will know that we know. There's no worry!
Micky: (Closing his eyes as Lauren cuddles closer - he squeaks, then says quickly) Wehavethisplaceinthedesertdon'ttellMikehe'llkillme!
Lauren: *very close now, speaks slowly* What was that?
Micky: (Gulps, then very softly) We have a hide-out in a really secluded part of the Mojave Desert. It's in a cave. We meet there to discuss MonkeeMen business, check on the crystal, and work on our equipment.
Lauren: See, that wasn't so tough. :-)
Micky: (Whimpers) Babe, please don't tell Mike I told you! He's really secretive about the whole MonkeeMen thing. He doesn't want it getting in the papers or on TV.
Lauren: Mick, I won't tell him. I just don't understand why he thinks by me, Em, Valerie, and Daphne knowing that it'll be spread. Why would we tell anyone else?
Micky: (Sighs) You know how he is. He doesn't want anything to happen to you or us. You know what kind of people we run into - you've seen them first-hand.
Lauren: *sighs* I understand that, Mick. Considering what we've already been through, Lord knows we don't need anything else to happen. Maybe I'm missing something, but I still don't understand why the four of us couldn't know.
Micky: I agree with you, but Mike says he's afraid that the people close to us will get hurt if they know. And that Dragonman thing did scare the hell out of me. If Mike and Davy hadn't broken in...
Lauren: Mick, it's okay. *kisses his cheek*
Micky: Awwww, babe... (kisses her, too, grinning now) Wanna go shopping? Mike probably wants to discuss the events of last night at the hide-out.
Lauren: *nods* Let's go before before we spend our day off...some other way. ;-)
Micky: (Grins) I think we've done enough of that lately. (Winks)
(And we switch to the Mojave Desert, as the camera follows a lone figure soaring through the air. It touches down by a series of low cliffs obscured by higher bluffs. The figure walks down a dark, rocky, cavernous opening and into a beautiful series of cavern rooms, filled with different colored crystal. A bright blue glow comes from a large dome in the center. We finally see that the figure who has entered is Micky. Mike, still in his now-stained overalls, sits on a bed of white crystal shaped vaguely like a couch. He's playing "Nine Times Blue" on a guitar.)
Mike: (Looks up at the footsteps) Oh, hi, Mick. The others should be here shortly. We have a lot to talk about. All the stuff that's happened in the last few months...last night...and now, the girls. (Grins) How was your shoppin' trip with Lauren?
Micky: Fun & wallet-emptying. *chuckles*
Mike: Bet she cleared both of you out. You've got two kiddies to shop for. (Sighs as Micky joins him on the crystal couch, and he finishes the song) How do you feel about all this? Havin' two kiddies around and all, I mean.
Micky: Aside from those times in the middle of the night when I wake up, think this has all been a dream, then see Lauren next to me... What was the question? *grins*
Mike: (Grins) I'm takin' you're enjoyin' this. :)
Micky: Of course! You know me, Mike. You know my biggest fear. *sighs* Finding Lauren...let's just say it is a dream come true. *smiles*
Mike: (Nods) Someone who will never leave you alone.
Micky: *nods* Exactly.
(Davy enters at that point, wearing his gray three-piece suit from some of the first-season episodes.)
Davy: Hey, mates. (Shrugs at the suit) I had to dress for my audition. I tried out for the Ghost of Christmas Past in a local production of "A Christmas Carol."
Micky: How'd you do?
Davy: (Grins and winks) I think I chahmed the 'ell outta the lady producah. ;)
Mike: You'll get the part. ;)
Micky: Just don't tell Daphne. ;-)
Davy: Now, she don't 'ave to know if she can't see it, does she? ;)
Micky: Fair warning, that's all, Dave.
(Peter arrives last, wearing his maroon "Headquarters" shirt, patched jeans, and old moccassins. He's quite dusty... and it's not desert dust, either.)
Peter: Sorry I'm late, guys! I helped Mr. Bennett clean out his attic this morning. He has some really groovy instruments! There's this guitar that dates from the 1930s that he says once belonged to Woody Guthrie!
Mike: (Puts aside the guitar, which disappears in a flash of blue light) Ok, fellas, now that we're all here, let's get down to business. We know the crystal does something to heighten our imaginations, but it seems to work with the girls, too.
Peter: Maybe they're our soulmates!
Micky: He may have something there.
Mike: I don't believe in that mushy stuff.
Davy: Mike, 'ow else would the girls 'ave that powah, too? We're the only ones I've evah seen able to do it. No one else can make things appeah from thin aih!
Micky: I seriously doubt it's rubbed off on them.
Mike: It's just hard to believe...
Davy: So's all of this.
Mike: I mean, about Em. I love her, but...soulmates? Us? The way we fight?
Davy: You fight with that girl because you care about 'er!
Peter: (So softly, Mike doesn't hear - Micky, who's closest to him, does, though) You care about her almost too much.
*Micky nods slowly.*
Mike: Guys, we can't tell them about this place. Especially Em. We don't need people like Dragonman swarmin' here, not to mention the press. If it gets out...
Davy: Mike, they already know about us! I don't see 'ow it could 'urt!
Micky: *gulps* Yeah, Mike, what's the difference?
Peter: Mike, the girls are smart. They've already guessed. You need to trust them.
Mike: (Looks away from them, toward a wall of white crystal) I...I don't know what I'd do if Em or any of them got hurt because of what we are....
Davy: Mike, they're willing to take that chance.
Peter: Let Emma in, Michael. Let them all in. You can't hide things forever.
Micky: They're gonna find out one way or another. *looks away*
Mike: They've all almost gotten killed because of our powers. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost Em. One woman in my life already abandoned me.
Micky: Don't you think we all feel that way?
Peter: (Puts a hand on his shoulder) Michael, Em isn't Phyllis. Let go.
Mike: We can't. We just can't. This place has to stay a secret, for our own protection and the protection of those we love. Don't you remember how this all began? People died that day. People in the neighborhood. People who didn't deserve to die. I don't want that to be the girls. Lauren's only got kids in her!
*Micky looks down, twiddling his thumbs.*
Mike: Look, it stays secret, and that's that! (Takes off for the red crystal cave) I need a drink...
(The others exchange looks as he goes into the next room. Davy shakes his head.)
Davy: It's not going to stay secret...at least, not to Em. Peter, tell Valerie. I'll tell Daphne. They already know, anyhow.
Peter: But what about Mike and Em?
Davy: There's got to be some way to get Mike off his guard and stop bein' so darn close-mouthed.
Peter: He's worried for Em again.
Micky: *mutters* Too worried.
Davy: They're both so afraid of 'urtin' one anothah.
Peter: They've been hurt so much already, especially Mike.
Peter: Do you think we'll need to use MonkeeMan powers?
Davy: No. (Winks at Micky) Just good old chemical know-'ow. ;)
Micky: *grins* Got something in mind?
Davy: Yes. Whip up a truth potion for Mike.
Peter: But he knows the truth!
Micky: I can do that.
Davy: No, Petah, so 'e'll tell Em the truth about us...and everything.
Micky: Preferably before Lauren gets me to spill everything.
Davy: Micky, 'ow much did you end up tellin' 'er?
Peter: Oh, Micky! (But he's smiling) I kind of figured she'd get something out of you. :)
Micky: I told her about here. What can I say, I just can't keep anything from her, especially when she's *holds an index finger & thumb together* this close to me. *grins, shrugging*
Davy: (Grins) Bet you 'ad a good time tellin' 'er. ;)
Micky: Yeah, other than fearing for my life from Mike. ;-)
Peter: We've got to get something out of him, or Em will never give him a moment's peace. (Mike stomps back into the room with a tray of drinks filled with red liquid) Shh! Here he comes!
Mike: (Sets the drinks down on the ledge) Ok, kiddies, what were you yappin' about out here?
Davy: (Quickly) Oh, nothin'.
Peter: We were just going to help you... (Davy puts his hand over his mouth)
Mike: Help me what?
Davy: 'Elp you...serve these drinks! (Gives drinks to the other guys)
Mike: (Crosses his arms) Ok, guys, what's goin' on?
Micky: Nothin', Mike.
Mike: Or am I gonna have to pry it outta ya? (Holds up a fist)
Davy: Now, Mike, why would we be doin' anything?
*Micky moves back a little and gulps.*
Peter: (Puts a hand on Mike's shoulder) You're getting paranoid again, Michael. Peace. We're your friends. We wouldn't hurt you.
Mike: (Sighs) Old habits die hard. (Settles down by the drinks, then sees the blue crystal start to flash.) Oh, man, guys, looks like we're needed.
Peter: (Frowns) Needed?
Davy: The crystal only flashes like that for two reasons. Eithah there's an intrudah, or someone in Malibu Beach needs our 'elp.
Mike: Micky, see if you can dig up who it is on the monitor.
Micky: Ahead of you, Chief! *gets up and goes to the monitor; pushes buttons and the screen comes to life*
(We see thugs sneaking around the back of Millie's bakery, which is already filled with customers... including the Westminster Abbies, Emma, and Lauren. The thugs carry weapons, guns, and blackjacks, and wear dark hoods and clothing.)
Mike: (Eyes widen) Oh, man...Millie! The girls! We've got to get over there, and fast! (Reaches out and puts his hand on the crystal. Blue-white light envelopes around him)
(Davy does the same. His light is a slightly darker shade of blue.)
Peter: No one's gonna hurt a lady who was nice to us! (Puts his hand on the crystal and is surrounded by blue-green light.)
*Mick also touches the crystal. His light is reddish-blue.*
(When the light subsides, the guys are dressed in their MonkeeMen uniforms.)
Mike: (Nods at the crystalline ceiling) Let us fly now, my good MonkeeMen! We have an innocent bakery shop owner, reporter, and mother-to-be to rescue!
(The three take off...except for Peter, who jumps, but gets nowhere.)
Peter: Oh, man! :(
Mike: Let me give you a hand, good buddy. (takes Peter by the waist and carries him as the boys fly off into the bright blue sky of the Mojave Desert)
(And we cut back to Malibu Beach, where Millie stands behind the counter of her shop. It's obviously the same building as the Chinese restaurant in "Monkee Chow Mein," but the Oriental gew-gaws have been replaced with a white-checked floor and old-fashioned wire tables with flowers in plastic vases. Several people mill around the counter. Emma and Lauren sit at one table, chatting, while the Westminster Abbies fight over their order at the counter.)
Emma: (Sighs at the four bickering girls) I hope it doesn't take them all day to bring our stuff over. I'm on my lunch break... and I have to bring my review of Millie's place to the Register tonight!'
Lauren: *nods* At least there's a decent floor show. ;-)
(The girls giggle as the Abbies finally join them, followed by Millie carrying cups of coffee and tea.)
Jenny: Here you go, guys!
Emma: Yum yum, lemon merangue pie, one of my favorites! :)
Lauren: Oh, man... maybe I should've gone for one of everything, huh? ;-)
Millie: Enjoy, ladies! In honor of the grand opening, the whole menu is half-price!
Emma: (Grins) In which case, she will have one of everything. ;)
Lauren: Definitely! *grins*
Millie: (Grins) I think I'll get to like having you as a customer, kid. ;)
Lauren: This is only temporary, I hope. *pats her slightly larger stomach* Mick on the other hand... ;-)
Millie: Will be camping out in the kitchen. I saw how much he ate when I lived with the guys. ;)
Kimberly: You'll have to change padlocks. ;)
Lauren: He'll still find a way in.
Emma: (Nods at the girls as they start eating. Millie takes another chair and joins them, sipping coffee) What took you girls so long, anyway?
Maxine: Jenny couldn't decide between the mint-chocolate cheesecake and the raspberry tarts.
Daphne: So she ended up going with the apple dumpling. :p
Lauren: Of course.
Jenny: I like dumplings! They're cute!
Maxine: (Grins) I'm an old New Yawk gal. I like my cheesecake straight up.
Kimberly: She's no fun. She never wants to try anything new. :p
Maxine: Some things are timeless. (Sticks her tongue out at Kimberly)
Daphne: (Looks around) I wonder where the guys are, speaking of Micky?
Emma: Mike may have gotten caught up doing extra work at the garage. He's such a workaholic sometimes. I'll bet he decided to skip lunch. :p
Lauren: Mick will show up eventually. Said he had to go do something real quick. *shrugs*
Emma: Peter probably just lost track of time. He does that a lot. :)
Lauren: Dave had an audition to go to.
Daphne: He told me he was trying out for that show. I wonder if he could get us all free tickets if he makes it? I love Charles Dickens. :)
Millie: Boy, hard to believe those hard-workin' Joes are the same four layabouts I shacked up with. ;)
Emma: Millie, after last summer, we started to realize how much of a family we are, and that we really need to start acting like one, with Lauren and Micky's kids coming.
Millie: God, it's so cute. I can't wait for you to have those kids. I'll bet they'll be as beautiful and talented as their parents. (Grins) And I hope they're as hungry! I could use more customers! ;)
(The girls all chuckle.)
Lauren: I'm already sure they'll be just as hungry. ;-)
Millie: (Looks up at the sound of chimes at the door) Speaking of customers... (goes behind the counter) May I help....
(The girls all gasp. The men wear dark, strange masks that cover their whole faces but their eyes, noses, and mouths. They sport plain black outfits.)
Thug 1: Ok, folks, this is a stick-up. Give us your money, lady, or the dollies here will get hurt.
(The remaining thugs point their guns at the girls at the table. They all put their hands in the air, except for Jenny, who keeps eating.)
Millie: Come on, fellas, what are you doin' holdin' up some bakery? There's a perfectly good bank down the street!
Thug 2: (Breaks open the bakery counter and grabs a slice of cheesecake - eats it) Hey, this is good stuff!
Millie: Thank you! (Puts out a hand) That'll be fifty cents, please.
Thug 2: Sure... (starts to fish for money in his pocket before another thug grabs his arm)
Thug 3: Man, we're supposed to be taking money from her, not giving her money!
Thug 2: I gotta pay for my cheesecake!
Thug 1: Pay later, steal the money for the Big Cheese now.
(One man points a gun at an annoyed Millie. Another goes to the old-fashioned cash resgister, slams his fist on it, and steals all the money inside.)
Millie: Hey, that's all my first-day's profits! (Frowns) And he's still gotta pay for the cheesecake! Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners?
(The thugs start backing towards the door... not noticing that four familiar figures have entered.)
Thug 1: Thanks for the goodies, ladies, but I think we'll be goin' to our meeting with the Big Cheese now...
(Suddenly, a long arm with slender fingers shoots out and takes the man hard by the shoulder.)
Mike: (Appears behind the man as he squeezes his shoulder hard, pulling him to the ground - in his heavier accent) And ah don't think you'll be makin' that meetin', shotgun.
Thug 2: Urk! Hey! (Throws his hands behind his buttocks. Micky emerges from behind him, grinning. The man whines) HE GAVE ME A WEDGIE!
Micky: Serves you right! ;-)
(The girls all burst into laughter despite the situation. Davy comes out from under the third man's legs.)
Davy: (Attempted Scottish accent) Now, there, wee one, I dun't think you should be takin' things that don't be belongin' to your clan.
Peter: (Bad southern accent) Ah, look what ah found! Magic Monkee Dust! (Blows green sparkles in the fourth man's face. He starts coughing. The dust grows to envelope the entire room. The girls and Millie start coughing. When the dust clears, there's green glitter confetti on the floor, the men are tied up, and boys and girls are admiring the handywork. Millie watches from the counter in a mixture of surprise, delight, and shock.)
Mike: Nice work, my fellows!
Davy: Theah be nothin' to it, mate!
Micky: Piece of cake. *grins* Speaking of...
Mike: (Hands Millie back the money) Ah'd be callin' the police if ah were you, ma'am.
Millie: (Smiles, taking the money) Thank you so much! If there's anything I can offer you...
Mike: (Grins) We were just doin' our sworn duty, ma'am...
Millie: (Pulls out a plate of cheesecake) Maybe some of my specialty. I truly believe it can cure all ills.
Mike: Ah, ma'am, we don't want no pay...
Micky: Well, maybe just a little... ;-)
Davy: (Elbows Micky) Oh, just be takin' it, now!
Peter: Yeah, if your eyes glaze ovah any morah, son, they'll be spreadin' it on Louisiana Crunch Cake!
Mike: You'd bettah call the lil' old fuzz and get them to come handle this crowd, before they get antsy.
Peter: Antsy? (There's a flash of blue light around the thugs. Suddenly, they all start squealing and squirming.) They've now all got ants in their pants! ;)
*Micky chuckles.*
Millie: Get them outta here, then. I don't want ants in my cheesecake. (Goes to the back kitchen to call the cops)
Peter: Don't worry your little ol' heahd, ma'am. These ants ain't goin' nowhere but these fellows' britches. ;)
Emma: Oh, man. And here, I thought I was just going to do a review. I've got a real story now!
(There's a siren in the distance. All the guys exchange looks.)
Emma: (Touches Mike's hand) Mr...MonkeeMan, can you answer a few questions for me?
Micky: *to the others* Time to make a hasty retreat?
Emma: But...
Mike: We're just here when we're needed, miss. That's all anyone's gotta know.
Emma: Just one question...
(But the boys are already on their way out the door. The girls follow them as the cops arrive, lead by Seargent Nielson of "Beach Blanket Monkees." The girls and the police arrive in time to see three figures in red soaring through the bright blue California sky... carrying a fourth, slightly larger, figure.)
Emma: (Sighs, watching the figures vanish) Mike...just a few questions...
Seargent Nielson: (Runs up to the girls) What the heck is going on, ladies?
Kimberly: There was a hold-up, officer, but everything's ok now.
Jenny: Those guys in red gave the thieves ants in their pants. ;)
Lauren: Literally. ;-)
Seargent Nielson: Are all of you ok?
Emma: We're fine, and so is Millie and the store. Just a little dusty. ;)
Sargent Nielson: I'm going to need all of you, Mrs. McNulty too, to come downtown with me and tell us exactly what happened and who happened. (Nods at the bound thugs) Just who did that?
Daphne: (Looks at the other girls and simply says) The MonkeeMen.