Ok...is everyone ready to begin tonight's tale?

Mike: Huh?

(Peter says nothing - he's still out.)

Micky: *sighs* Might as well.

*Davy grunts, not overly lucid.*

*We open back at the table where all the guys except Micky are completely passed out. Micky finishes cleaning the plates of food and lets out a satisfied belch.*

Micky: I hope they didn't want any leftovers. *glances at the others* What's with these guys? Mike and Dave can hold their liquor. I don't get it. *goes over to Mike* Hey, Mike! Wake up, man!

Mike: (Snorts) Huh? Jus' five minutes more, Em...

Micky: *shakes Mike harder* Mike, wake up!

Mike: (Groggy, but he does open his eyes) Uh...huh? (Looks around sleepily) Mick? What happened?

Micky: All of you guys passed out from the liquor.

Mike: The liquor? (Starts to sit up...then groans) Maaan, what was IN that stuff?

Micky: I don't know. The bottle looks all right, but it seems rather fishy that all of you passed out when I KNOW you and Dave can hold your liquor.

Mike: Yeah, and I feel like my head was run over by about ten trucks. SOMEONE did SOMETHIN' to that bottle. (Nods at Nicky) What's with the kid? He didn't have any!

Micky: *raises an eyebrow* Uh yeah, he did, but you guys were already too far gone to notice. *shrugs* I was too busy trying to figure out what was going on to keep an eye on him, too.

Mike: Maybe we ought to at least get Ludlow up. He has that meeting this afternoon, not to mention the ball tomorrow.

Micky: Right. *shakes him* Ludlow? Hey, man, wake up!

(Ludlow, however, continues to sleep, even after Nicky's eyes flutter open.)

Micky: Hmm...shake him harder, I guess... *shakes Ludlow again*

Nicky: Huh? (Sees Ludlow) Luddy! Is he... (groans) oh geez, my head's gonna explode!

Mike: Get in line, kid. (Goes to Ludlow and gives him a kick in the leg; he still doesn't get up)

Nicky: Hey, don't do that to our king!

Mike: At this point, I don't care if he's a gingerbread man. He ain't movin'.

Micky: You got any better ideas, kid?

Nicky: Luddy! Wake up! (He shakes him hard; Ludlow just rolls over)

Mike: Nick n' I are gonna work on Ludlow. You get the other two up.

(Mike continues to shake and nudge Ludlow while Micky goes to Peter and Davy.)

Micky: Hey, Pete, *shakes him* wake up!

(Peter continues to sleep as well.)

*Micky sighs and goes to try Davy instead.*

Micky: *gives Davy a hard shake* Dave! Get up!

*Davy groans, then swats an arm out, whacking Micky in the process.*

Micky: Watch it, Dave!

(Mike looks over his shoulder as he and Nicky try to get Ludlow up and chuckles.)

Peter: (His eyes flutter; he groans) Huh...

Mike: How's it comin', Mick? Ludlow's still snorin'.

Micky: Dave's moving... *rubs his arm where he got hit*

Nicky: At least someone is!

Mike: Man, what was IN that bottle? (He lifts it to inspect it) It's drained dry. We'll never know now.

Davy: *groans* At least I know why I feel like I was run ovah.

Mike: You too, huh?

Nicky: I feel AWFUL.

Davy: Me 'ead is pounding.

Mike: Swell. I don't usually feel THIS bad after a bender.

Nicky: But why would anyone do anything to the bottle?

Mike: Maybe someone wanted us out of the way.

Nicky: Maybe someone wanted Ludlow out of the way!

Mike: Yeah, that lunch wasn't a planned thing. We weren't meant to get the booze. Ludlow was.

Micky: Exactly.

Nicky: Someone wants to keep him away from the meeting and the ball!

Peter: (He finally lifts his head) Who?

Mike: Hey, Pete, welcome back to the land of the living.

Peter: Oooh... (holds his head) I'm not too sure about that.

Mike: Micky, you saw what happened. Which of us drank the most?

Micky: Ludlow. I think he downed half the bottle.

Peter: The bottle?

Mike: Yeah. (Hands the bottle to Micky) Mick, you're the chemical expert. Smell anything weird?

Micky: I already checked it while you guys were dozing. There isn't enough left to smell, let alone test, otherwise I would've been on it already.

Mike: Great. Just great.

Nicky: What are we going to do about Ludlow?

Mike: (Looks at Davy) I have an idea.

Davy: *groans* Oh no. Mike, I know that look.

Mike: Davy, it's the only way.

Nicky: What's the only way?

Mike: We'll have to figure out what to do about his hair, but...

Davy: Alright, fine.

Nicky: You DO look a little like Ludlow, don't you? I mean, your hair is different, but other than that...

Mike: We once had him pass off as Ludlow to help him with a girl problem.

Nicky: He DOES get weird around girls.

Micky: Should've seen him then.

Peter: He used to panic!

Mike: Couldn't even get him to stay around Wendy.

Nicky: Then how...

Mike: Long story, kid.

Nicky: What are we going to do about Ludlow? (He indicates the sleeping monarch) We can't leave him here!

Mike: Maybe we can stick him in a closet or somethin'.

Nicky: The basement! It's used for storing wine and pantry goods, mostly. No one will think to look there!

Mike: (Nods) Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe you and a few other guys you can trust can keep an eye on him until he gets up.

Nicky: I'll do it! I have to stay with him, anyway. He's training me.

Mike: Ok, who wants to help me lift the dead weight?

Micky: I'll help.

Mike: Ok, you grab his feet. I'll take the other side. Nick, you get some servants to clean up and help out. Peter and Davy, come with us.

Micky: Gotcha.

Nicky: Yes, sir! The door to the basement is that way! (He points towards the hall) Last door on the left.

Mike: Thanks, kid. (He and Micky pick Ludlow up as carefully as they can as the other two follow. Cut to a dark area downstairs, filled with old, cast-off furniture and racks and racks of liquor.)

Mike: Ok, let's dump him on that old striped couch. Looks comfortable enough for His Highness.

Micky: Bombs away.

(Mike and Micky dump Ludlow on the striped couch that's losing it's stuffing. Nicky hurries downstairs with a load of clothes and a few other men as they turn around.)

Nicky: I brought some clothes for him to wear. (Nods at the other men) These are Ronald, Stewart, and Douglas, the king's trusted bodyguards! They'll help me look after the king.

Douglas: What's going on?

Ronald: Poor boy's seen better days.

Stewart: (British accent) And the boy usually holds his liquor MUCH better than this!

Mike: We think he may have been drugged, but we ain't sure by who.

Nicky: Duke Cromwell, I'll bet!

Stewart: We don't know that for sure, Nicholas.

Nicky: He's after the throne! I know it!

Ronald: I wouldn't be surprised if the lad was right, but we can't go around making accusations until we have proof. Mike: You boys keep an eye on Ludlow. We'll find that proof.

Douglas: How?

Mike: Our friend Davy will stand in for the prince while the rest of us look for clues.

Peter: Maybe we should go directly the source. It might be easier to question Duke Cromwell in his shop.

Mike: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. (Turns to Davy) Pete, Davy will stay with you this time. Nicky, you and your men keep an eye on Ludlow.

Peter: I wanted to go to the shop!

Mike: You can go to the shop anytime. Davy will need someone to keep an eye on things here.

Douglas: (Looks up and nods at a figure in the doorway) I think we've been found out.

Mike: (Sees an older woman standing in the door, wringing her apron) Hey, lady, what did you hear?

Nicky: I know her! She works in the Duke's shop, and she does cleaning here on the weekends!

Mike: (Grins at Micky and Davy) Maybe we ought to do something about her.

Micky: Now THAT'S an evil grin.

Mike: I think she ought to stay down here, too.

Woman: I...I didn't hear anything!

Stewart: Then why were you listenin' at the doorway?

Ronald: We all saw you!

Woman: I...I...

Mike: Hey Mick, do you wanna handle her or should I?

Woman: No!

Peter: Don't HURT her!

Mike: We ain't gonna hurt her. She'll just stay down here with the guys.

Micky: Your idea, Mike. Be my guest. ;)

(Mike concentrates. There's a dark blue light around the lady. When it subsides, she's tied to an old chair in the basement and gagged.)

Douglas: We'll keep an eye on both of them.

Mike: Ok, Pete and Davy, you get Davy dressed and upstairs for that meeting. (Turns to Micky) Mick, I think this would be a great time to do what the girls have been bugging us to do and take the kids for an outing so they can go shopping and make fun of us.

Micky: *grins* Might as well. ;)

Mike: We'll see you guys later.

Nicky: Good luck!

(Cut to the brightly decorated streets of Malibu Beach as "Christmas Is My Time of Year" plays. Mike and Micky walk past stores with an excited Shelly, Micky, and Katie in tow. Leah rides in a stroller.)

(Katie points to a sports equipment store excitedly. She wants that hockey stick, Papa!)

(Papa nods and shoos her along...noting a smaller stick in the window. Katie could never hold the one she picked!)

(Mike and Katie stop and get hot dogs from a vendor. Katie pulls Mike along to Woolworth's next as the two look in the window. Katie squeals excitedly over train sets and dolls. Mike looks at tools.)

*The twins point out various ornaments, but can't seem to decide on one.*

(The whole group stops in Millie's next. Millie serves everyone hot chocolate and peppermint cheesecake amid Christmas greenery and a big tinsel tree.)

(Katie shakes her head as the twins gobble their cheesecake. Micky finishes before anyone and asks for more.)

(Mike frowns and shoos the kids past stores and buildings that are dark; they were damaged in the flood. They briefly pass the remains of the Club Caprice, too.)

(They finally make their way to a row of stores that are brightly lit and decorated. Like the Caprice, these stores are much older than most of the other buildings in Malibu Beach, early 1900s or so. They enter a huge candy store as the song comes to an end.)

Katie: Wow! (She looks around) Look at all this candy!

Mike: Yeah, and stay out of it. We'll get you some goin' home.

(Katie snitches a red-and-green taffy when her father's back is turned.)

(A small, curly-haired black man with a wide smile comes up to the counter. He wears a bright-colored apron that looks like a gingerbread man over a yellow shirt and dark slacks.)

Man: Can I help...(grins) Micky! I haven't seen you in here forever! Adding to the stash, man?

Micky: Man, I got put on parole for adding to the stash.

Man: Lauren got pissed again?

Micky: *nods* Yeah. She says I always go overboard. *pauses* Do you think I go overboard?

Man: I ain't gonna tell one of my best customers they go overboard!

Mike: Hi, Will. How's business?

Will: Gangbusters at this time of year, Mike. You're lucky you came when you did. You just missed the crowd.

Mike: Actually, Will, we're here to ask you about your neighbor.

Will: Hey, speaking of my neighbor... (He brings the group over to a massive display. A huge, four-foot gingerbread castle stands in the back of the shop, surrounded by little gingerbread people.) Lookit what the old warlock made!

Katie: Wow! Lookit that castle! It's all cookie!

Micky: WOW! :D

*The twins stare, slack-jawed.*

Mike: Damn.

Will: I made bags of candy for some of his stuffed animals to hold, and he made me this for my cookie display! What do you think?

Mike: It's somethin' else, Will.

Katie: It's so cool!

Will: I knew you'd be impressed, Mick.

Micky: I...uh, just...um...WOW!

Mike: He's impressed.

Will: This is the nicest thing that old codfish ever did. He's an odd one. He usually keeps to himself and hides in the back of his store.

Katie: (Turns to the twins) "Wow, isn't that the coolest thing you've ever seen?"

Little Mick: "Yeah! I love it!" :D

Shelly: "Me too! It's groovy!"

Mike: How long has he been in business?

Will: (Goes back behind the counter) As long as I've been here, and that would be over... (thinks) twenty years now. He comes from some weird little country in Europe. He gets some pretty neat toys from there.

Mike: What kind of toys?

Will: Oh, old-fashioned mama dolls and tin soldiers and European nutcrackers. (Leans over the kids) You know, kids, there are nights when I swear the toys in that shop are alive!

Katie: The toys're alive? Really? :D

Will: Cross m' heart! (Does so)

Little Mick: Wanna see the toys move!

Will: You'd have to ask Old Man Bergier about that, kiddo.

Mike: We're gonna do just that, but first (points to a large box of chocolates) that's for one of my ladies.

Will: (Grins) What did you do, Mike?

Mike: Nuthin'. Em's been so crazy, with our new kid an' everything, I thought she'd like somethin' to cheer her up.

*Micky is checking out the wall of penny candy.*

Will: Hey, would you kids like somethin' special? (Hands each kid a lollypop. Micky has a red one, Katie has a green one, and Shelly has a purple one.)

Katie: Oooh, thanks!

Will: On the house.

Mike: You ready yet, Mick?

Micky: *returns with a clear plastic bag full of penny candy; plops the bag on the weight machine* Gotta tell ya, Will, the choose your pound of candy deal is right up my wallet's alley.

Will: You and everyone else in Malibu Beach. The candy on that wall is probably our best-seller.

(Will rings the candy and hands it back to Mick.)

Will: Ok, guys, Merry Christmas! Don't be strangers, man!

Micky: Merry Christmas, Will! We'll be back sooner, I'm sure!

Mike: Yeah, we'll probably have to keep him from camping out in here now.

Will: Nahh, I lock the door every night...and I'm the only one with a key. ;)

Micky: Hey! I'm trying to be good, you know!

Will: I'm jokin', Mick. Come back as often as you want.

Micky: That's what I mean. Lauren'll KILL me if I came back as often as I want.

Will: (Just laughs) Merry Christmas, Mick.

Micky: Merry Christmas!

(The group heads out the door as the kids lick their candy and to the next shop.)

Mike: Well, let's see what we can find here.

(They walk into a small-but-crowded old-fashioned toy store. Many of the toys look like something out of a 30s cartoon - wind-up animals, enormous stuffed bears, jack-in-the-boxes, real tin toy soldiers, flying model airplanes, balls and games and dolls of every kind stocked here, there, and everywhere!)

Mike: Geez...

Katie: Wow!

Young Woman: (A woman, probably in her 20s, walks up to them) May I help you?

Mike: Yeah. We were wondering if the owner was around? We want to ask him a few questions.

Young Woman: He's not here right now. Maybe I could help you. I know a lot about our toy collections.

Mike: Do you know when he'll be in?

Young Woman: Probably not until later. He had a meeting for European toy makers in LA.

Mike: (As Micky and the kids spread out) Do you know anything about him sendin' King Ludlow and his counselor Nicholas a blue bottle of liquor?

Young Woman: (Nods) Yes, I delivered that bottle to the embassy myself. The Duke specifically asked for that bottle to be brought there from his private stores.

Mike: Did you notice anythin' weird about it?

Young Woman: (Shakes her head) No, it just looked like an ordinary bottle to me. I thought it was a Christmas present.

Katie: Look at this! (She pulls the kids over to a big fantasy castle, with knights and kings and queens and princesses and ballerinas and dragons.) So cool!

Shelly: Ooooh, wow! :D

Katie: (Peers inside) "I wish I was as small as one of those knights! Then I'd get to go in the castle and fight the dragons!"

Little Mick: "I wanna sword fight with the knights!" *swishing both arms wildly as if swishing a sword*

Katie: "Yeah! We could fight big mice, like in "The Nutcracker"!" (She also swishes her arms wildly, almost hitting Shelly at one point.)

Shelly: "Yipe!"

Katie: "Ooh, sorry Shel!" (She moves away from her friend) "Have you guys put up your tree yet? We put up ours last week!"

Shelly: *nods* "Daddy put it up in early November."

Katie: "Wow! That long?"

Little Mick: "He usually has it up earlier than that, though."

Katie: "Oooh! You're so lucky! Mama always wants to put up our tree early, but Papa says "no, let's wait a little, until after Thanksgivin'." (Points to a tin soldier) "Those look just like the clothespin soldier ornaments Nana made for our tree!" (She points to a stuffed bear) "And he looks like the pretty bear ornament Mama gave me last year! That was my very first ornament!"

Shelly: "We're still looking for ornaments."

Katie: "You'll find some! Maybe there's some right here!"

Little Mick: "Let’s take a look."

(As the kids spread out, Mike goes to the counter with a few toys.)

Mike: Are you SURE he won't be here soon? It's important.

Young Woman: If you want to find him, he's at the Embassy, discussing toy manufacture.

*Micky reappears with several toys and gets checked out at a register.*

Mike: Well, thanks anyway, Miss...

Young Woman: Molly Porter, sir. I'm really just an apprentice here. He'll be in tomorrow all day.

Molly: (Raises her eyebrows at Micky's armful) Oh, my? Lots of kids?

Micky: Three of my own, plus the kids of three other couples.

Molly: Ahh.

Mike: Speakin' of those kids... (Looks around) We'd better retrieve ours, before there ain't nothin' left of this place.

Katie: (Looks up) "Maybe we'd better find our papas, before they think we're tearin' the place apart." (Smiles) "You guys can find your ornament later. Jordan n' I and the other kids will help you!"

Shelly: "Okay." *smiles*

Katie: (Waves) Over here, Papa!

Mike: There you are! (He goes to the kids) What were you rascals doin' back there?

Katie: Lookin' at the castle!

Mike: (Nods and joins the kids) It's somethin', ain't it? That Bergier sure does some work.

Katie: It's great!

Mike: Yeah, well, we'll come see it another time. (He takes Katie's hand) Let's go to the next store.

(A man comes in from the back as the group leaves and Molly starts to go into the store to organize inventory. She turns around to find the Duke Bergier with his hand on her shoulder and a suspicious smile on his face.)

Molly: Oh, sir, it's you! You scared me!

Bergier: Sorry there, Molly dear. (Smile tightens) Dear, what did those people want in the store?

Molly: They wanted to know about that bottle I delivered to the Embassy. They asked if I noticed anything wrong about it.

Bergier: (Smile gets wider, and...dare we say it...more evil) Tell me more, Molly dear.

Molly: (Her eyes widen in fright) No, I don't think I should.

Bergier: (He puts a hand on her other shoulder) Oh, but you will, my dear. (He pulls her into the back room as we fade out)