Everyone ready for this year's Christmas story?

Mike: Man, all the shoppin' I've gotta do...

Peter: Yeah!

Micky: You bet!

Davy: Yeah!

(We open in the same set as "The Prince and the Pauper," and once again, the guys are sitting on chairs, waiting for an audience with the Prince, while Micky and Peter make faces in front of the paintings.)

Mike: Ok, you two. I don't think Ludlow wants to see you insultin' his ancestors.

Micky: We're not insulting them.

Peter: They were born that way.

Mike: Cool it, guys. We need this gig.

Davy: We'll be fine, Mike.

(Ludlow enters at this point, followed by the elderly courtier. Unlike Davy, whose hair is longish but in a different style, his hair is still in a long pageboy, and he wears the orange royal outfit from "Monkees In Wonderland"...but other than that, he still looks like Davy.)

Ludlow: (Smiles gently) Hello, gentlemen. I'm glad to see you again. (Nods at Davy) You too, Jones.

Mike: Hi, Ludlow. Glad you're back in town.

Ludlow: (Shrugs) I'm here on business.

Davy: What kind of business?

Ludlow: Need to discuss the building of new factories in my country.

Mike: Speakin' of business, boy...

Ludlow: (Nods) My country is holding a Christmas Ball in the Embassy Ballroom. (His smile widens) I wouldn't ask any other group to play at it.

Micky: Groovy! :D

(Wendy enters next, followed by another, older man with a pinched face, a short, gray beard, heavy eyebrows, and a bony body. He wears Uncle Otto's costume from "Royal Flush" in the original show.)

Wendy: (Smiles and pats her very, very pregnant stomach) Hello, dear. (Turns to the Monkees) Hi, boys. I'm glad you could come.

Mike: (Bows) Us too, Your Highness.

Peter: (Bobs a bit) Yeah!

Micky: *nods, smiling* Thank you for having us.

Wendy: You're welcome, but please, boys, nothing formal. We're friends.

Ludlow: (Nods) Right. You must call us Ludlow and Wendy.

Mike: (Squints at the older man) Hey, ain't I seen you before?

Ludlow: (Smiles) This is my cousin, Duke Cromwell Burgier. He lives in your country. He runs a very prominent toy shop right in your downtown.

Peter: That's where we know you from! :D

Mike: Yeah, you work in that big toy shop on Main, next to the candy store.

Duke Burgier: (Tight smile) I own that store. Have for years.

(Peter frowns at the Duke, but says nothing.)

Mike: My wife and I just bought a whole bunch of toys for our kids and our friends' kids there.

Ludlow: Ahh, you're providing for our counry's business.

Mike: Come again?

Ludlow: All the toys in the toy shop come from our country. We're one of the leading toy manufacturers in the world.

Peter: Wow! :D

Ludlow: That's what my business is about. We're going to discuss methods of toy manufacture.

Micky: That's fantastic!

Duke Bergier: I don't know why you won't install those new computerized toy machines, like I wanted.

Ludlow: They'll put a lot of people out of work, Crom.

Wendy: (Makes a face) Besides, the toys they make are absolutely horrible.

Ludlow: (Turns to the boys) How would you like to join my cousins and I for lunch? I'm looking after a younger distant cousin for an aunt of mine while I'm in America. I'm sure he'd like to meet you.

Duke Bergier: (Mutters) Dine with a bunch of long-haired...

(But Wendy elbows him, knowing full well he can't elbow her back.)

Ludlow: How about you, my dear?

Wendy: (Shakes her head, yawning) I think I'll take a nap. (Rubs her stomach) Junior could use some rest.

Ludlow: (Blushes) Do be careful, dear.

Wendy: I will. (She gives him a kiss, then heads out)

(Ludlow just turns very red.)

Mike: When's the kid coming out?

Ludlow: (A whisper) It's due in February.

Davy: Congratulations!

Ludlow: Thank you. Everyone has asked for years when Wendy and I were going to produce an heir, but we've both been so busy.

Mike: I know the feelin'. My wife Em n' I got some of that, too. (Looks at Micky) Some of us don't work as fast as others.

Micky: *blinks* What was THAT shot for?

Mike: Micky's wife got pregnant on their honeymoon.

Ludlow: (Blushes harder) Oh, oh my...

*Micky rolls his eyes, then gives Mike a blistering glare.*

Peter: The kids are really great, though! He has three, two of them twins. They're adorable! :)

Mike: I got two. Little girl an' a newborn boy.

Davy: I've got a little girl meself.

Peter: And I have my little boy.

Ludlow: (Smiles again) I guess you're all doin' well, then. (He gestures to the door) Why don't we all have a drink and some lunch, in celebration of the arrival of my cousin and the coming arrival of my son?

Mike: (Crooked grin) NOW you're talkin', boy!

Peter: Sounds like fun!

Davy: Sounds great!

Micky: Sure.

(Cut to the same room where the coronation and wedding was held in "The Prince and the Pauper." It's now set as a living room, with a huge table with several plates of food already there.)

Mike: Pretty fancy set-up, Ludlow.

Ludlow: It's really set for my meeting, but I don't think anyone will mind if we borrow it for lunch.

(They all sit down. A young man, probably about 15 or 16, is already there. He's a handsome fellow, fairly tall and thin for his age, with gentle green eyes and thick black hair. He wears the gold uniform from "The Prince and the Pauper.")

Young Man: Hello, Ludlow! (Holds up a fork) Hope you don't mind that I started without you. I'm hungry!

Ludlow: Not at all, Nick. (He indicates the young man) Gentlemen, meet my cousin Nicholas, whom I'm training as my personal counselor and page.

Nicholas: Hey, I know you guys! (He grins) You're the Monkees! I have all your records!

Mike: Nice to see we have fans even in the smallest countries.

Micky: Groovy. We're worldly.

Nicholas: I can't wait to hear what you come out with next!

Mike: (Mutters) Oh yes, you can.

(Peter elbows him.)

Ludlow: Join us for a little light lunch. (He sits at the head of the table)

Nicholas: (Holds up a drumstick) We're having roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and glazed carrots!

Micky: *grins* Sounds delicious.

(The four Monkees sit down at the table, Peter and Mike across from Davy, Micky, and Nicholas. A waiter comes out with a basket of chicken and rolls.)

Nicholas: I'm really glad to meet you guys! My friends will never believe it!

Mike: Ours'll never believe we were sittin' with royalty.

Nicholas: (Between bites) My favorite song is "I'm a Believer!" Just makes me want to get up and dance!

(Mike makes a face, but says nothing.)

*Micky grins and aims it in Mike's direction.*

Ludlow: But not during meetings, Nicky.

Nicholas: Aww, but they're so DULL, Ludlow.

Ludlow: (Sighs) I think so too, Nicky, but you have to learn how to run the kingdom if you're going to be a counselor, and it's not all glamour and wearing fancy clothes and attending balls.

Nicholas: I'm glad Luddy hired you for the Christmas Ball! Beats the heck out of that chamber group he had at the last ball! Put me to sleep!

Ludlow: Nicholas, they were well-respected.

Nicholas: They were BORING!

Mike: Well, kid, we can guarantee that you won't fall asleep this year.

Micky: Ain't that the truth.

Peter: (As the second course arrives, the mashed potatoes and peas) Ludlow, what's with your cousin? He had a very angry and forceful aura.

Ludlow: (Makes a face) He's been trying to computerize the toy companies in Moravia for years, but my council and I won't let him. He's next in line for the throne, now that Count Myron is in jail.

Nicholas: He wants to take over our toy factories!

Ludlow: Now, Nicky, just because he wants to computerize the factories...

Nicholas: He's had his eye on our factories for years, Ludlow! You just never want to admit that anyone can be bad! That's how Uncle Myron fooled you!

Ludlow: He's not BAD, Nicky. He's just bitter.

Nicholas: He's BAD, Ludlow. He's after Christmas! I just know it!

Ludlow: (Warning) Nicky...

Mike: After Christmas?

Ludlow: We're major suppliers of toys for Christmas. That's how my country makes most of it's money.

(They bring out the third course, followed by another man with a large blue bottle wrapped with twine.)

Waiter 2: Your cousin sends you this bottle of rare California wine with his regrets that he won't be able to join you for your luncheon, but he was called away suddenly on business.

Ludlow: Why, that's very kind of him. Tell him I thank him, and so do my friends.

Nicholas: Wow! (He reaches for the bottle, but Ludlow pulls it away)

Ludlow: Sorry Nicky, but you're under age.

Mike: Let me handle this. (He pours drinks for all of the guys, except for Nicky, who pouts)

Ludlow: Let's toast our good children and good women.

Nicky: (Holds up his water glass) And Christmas! Our biggest time of the year!

Davy: Lets!

(As the boys fumble for their glasses, Nicky sneaks a bit into his glass.)

Ludlow: To the families!

Nicky: And Christmas!

Mike: And to your continued success with toys and ours with music.

(All four raise their glasses and drink deeply. Mike grins and wipes his mouth after he finishes.)

Mike: Hey, that was some good stuff! Wonder where Bergier got it from?

Ludlow: Would anyone like more?

Nicky: Me! Me!

Ludlow: Not you.

Davy: I'll take some more.

Peter: Me too!

(Mike hands around more drinks. As they drink the second round, Peter starts yawning.)

Peter: That was... (puts his hand over his mouth and yawns) ....good stuff.

Mike: Yeah. (Pours more) Think I'll have myself a little more.

Ludlow: (Nods and takes the bottle) As will I. You Americans certainly know your wine!

Nicky: (Yawns deeply) Yeah.

Micky: *chuckles--he's the only one still on the first glass* Don't fight over the bottle.

Davy: Let me 'ave more!

Mike: Here 'ya go, boy. (Hands Davy the bottle. Nicky is already passed out on the table)

Ludlow: Poor kid. I guess this was too much for him.

Peter: (His eyes are fluttering) I'll have...more... (He finally falls off his chair, passing out on the floor)

Mike: Pete never could hold his liquor. (But he's yawning as he pours another glass for him and for Ludlow) Want more, Mick?

Micky: *waves a hand* Better not. It doesn't mesh too well with me.

Davy: *grins, now he's yawning* You 'aven't even finished the first one, Mick! Indulge a little, mate!

Mike: Yeah, if we blow anything up here, Ludlow could just fix it again. Right, Lud?

Ludlow: (His eyes are half-closed; he's leaning on his hand) Huh? Oh, yeah.

Micky: *sits back in his chair* You guys just have fun getting plastered. I'll be fine.

Mike: Yeah, this is fun. (Yawns and stretches) Em don't let me get drunk anymore. She says she don't like liquor. Girl don't know how ta live.

Ludlow: (His head is nodding) Uh-huh.

Mike: (Yawns, trying to ignore his fluttering eyes) You boys want more?

Ludlow: Uh huh.

*Davy slumps forward onto the table, out.*

Micky: Good grief.

Mike: (Pours Ludlow his glass, then leans over and refills his own) Aw, Mick, come on! It ain't...(but his head's nodding)...effectin'...(yawns)...me... (He falls back against his chair, now out.)

Micky: *shakes his head; sighs* That's some mighty powerful liquor.

Ludlow: (Yawns) I think I'll just have more. (He drinks his glass) There's somethin' funny 'bout this wine. Don't smell like our wines. Maybe it's just... (yawns)... your American ways... (he's finally out)

Micky: *looks around at everyone passed out, then grabs the bottle* What's IN this stuff, anyway? *reads the label briefly, then shrugs* Glad I only had a few sips, or I'd be slouched over the table like everyone else here who can't hold their liquor. *puts the bottle back on the table, then helps himself to more food* More food for me!