Sooo....you boys ready to star in your own variety special...of sorts? ;)
Micky: Sure!
Mike: As long as I ain't mauled, maimed, and no one besides my wife tries to get me in bed, sure.
(Emma elbows Mike.)
*Lauren laughs.*
Davy: I've always wanted to be on a variety show! I'm ready!
Peter: I'm ready! :)
(We open about two weeks or so after the events of "The Devil and Michael Nesmith." Emma in in the kitchen, doing dishes. Davy is on the phone. Lauren, Valerie, and the remaining boys are in the living room, rehearsing the end of "Listen To the Band.")
Mike: (As the song finishes) Ok, guys, let's run through the opening one more time. (In the kitchen) Davy, are you gonna join us or are you gonna glue the phone to your ear?
Davy: (From in the kitchen) Just a minute, Mike!
Micky: Need some glue?
Mike: (Mutters) That boy is worse than a teenage girl.
Davy: (Makes a face; from in the kitchen) I 'eard that, Michael!
Mike: I wonder...(plays the opening riffs a bit more country-ish)...maybe we'll do it a little differently...
Peter: (Shrugs) I don't know, Mike. We don't usually do it that way.
Micky: Yeah. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Mike: (Shrugs) Just thought we could do something besides "same old."
Peter: Mike, not everyone is a country fan.
Mike: Well, I am, and it's my song...
Micky: *folds his arms* Think you can play it by yourself?
Emma: (Rolls her eyes; from the kitchen) Guys, don't fight!
Mike: (Mutters) Fine. Sounds better than that weird version of "I'm a Believer" I heard YOU doing the other day, Mick...
Emma: (Puts down the last dish, throws the towel next to the sink, and storms in) Miiiiikkkkkeeee, don't start!
Micky: *puts his arms out* What? There was nothing wrong with the way I did that!
Peter: (backs up, clutching his bass like a teddy bear) Please, don't fight!
*Lauren groans, shaking her head.*
Mike: I ain't startin' nuthin! I just wanted to try somethin', and Otis Reddin' over here (juts a finger at Micky) is gettin' on my case!
Micky: We're discussing! And thank you for the compliment, Mike! *makes a face at him*
Lauren: Discussing rather LOUDLY...
Valerie: (Now she's rolling HER eyes) Oh, good grief.
Davy: (Enters from the kitchen, holding his black book) Now, wot's all the commotion?
Peter: Mike wants to do "Listen to the Band" differently.
Davy: Wot's wrong wit' 'ow we do "Listen to the Band?"
Micky: That's what I was trying to get across!
Mike: I just thought I'd try it a little more country-ish, like some of the singers at home...
Davy: Mike, this ain't Texas, you know.
Micky: It's California, in case you forgot.
Mike: Look, guys...
Emma: Honey, calm down...
Lauren: Mick!
Mike: I am calm! I don't see what's wrong with tryin' somethin' different! At least I ain't maulin' some bubblegum crap!
Davy: (Frowns) Wot?
Micky: Whoa, back up the train, Mike...
Emma: Michael Nesmith!
Mike: Em, you're my wife, not my mother!
Emma: And if your mother was here, you'd be sent to your room right now.
Micky: I'd like to see that. *smirks*
Peter: (Whimpers softly) Guys....
Mike: Em...(goes to her gently)...look, honey, I'm just tryin' to get my point across.
Emma: Do it more quietly, please. You're scaring Peter.
*Micky folds his arms again, rolling his eyes.*
Mike: Maybe someone ought to scare him, instead of him just bawlin' and runnin' out all the time!
Peter: (Wails) Michael! (Bursts into tears and runs out of the room)
Micky: MIKE! *stands*
Mike: (Realizes that he's stepped over the line) Man...
Valerie: (Glares at Mike) Peter, honey... (goes after him)
Emma: Robert Michael Nesmith, you go apologize to him this instant!
Mike: I dunno. I just wish he wasn't such a baby sometimes. All that hippie mumbo-jumbo....
Micky: That's just the way he IS, Mike.
Emma: Yeah, just like you can't seem to get your brain out of Texas.
Davy: Maybe you ought to try some of that meditation of 'is, Mike. I feel like you're two different people sometimes.
*Micky nods.*
Mike: (Crosses his arms) What do you mean?
Emma: One minute, you'll be fine, and the next, you're screaming at everyone, including your best friend, whom you know is extremely sensitive.
Micky: You have worse mood swings, man, than Lauren does.
Emma: And you (pokes his chest) don't have the pregnancy excuse.
Lauren: *grins* That's right.
(Valerie comes out with Peter, who sniffles and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.)
Mike: And Peter...(he goes to put his hand on the blond's shoulder, but Peter steps back)
Peter: M...Michael....I wish you weren't so scary sometimes.
Mike: ME? Scary?
Peter: You yell and scream at everyone, including me and Em...but then you'll want to make up, like now.
Mike: Well, I wouldn't get mad if everyone didn't act like a pain in the ass over a simple suggestion.
Davy: You were insultin' our music!
Micky: And we don't take kindly to that. *quirks an eyebrow*
Emma: And there's rock and R&B you like too, honey.
Peter: (Shakily puts his hand on his friend's shoulder) Michael, you're confused. You don't know what part is really you, the country cowboy or the slick Hollywood rock-and-roller.
Mike: (Pulls back) What do you mean? I know me!
Emma: (Shakes her head, mutters) Not really.
*Micky shakes his head.*
Mike: (Indicates Micky) What about James Brown over there, playin' "I'm a Believer" like a Motown reject?
Emma: He likes that type of music...and honey, I do, too!
Valerie: Mike, that was uncalled for!
*Micky mutters something.* X-(
Lauren: Mike!
Davy: Mike, knock it bloody off!
Mike: (Glares at Davy) At least Micky bothered to show up! You'd rather be on the phone with all 800 of your girlfriends than playing music with us!
Davy: I was callin' an old friend of mine!
Mike: For all the time you spent on the phone, you could have been callin' everyone in that damn bible of yours!
Peter: (Whimpers again) Guys, come on....
Davy: At least I ain't screaming at the top of me lungs ovah somethin' stupid!
Mike: Oh, so the music is stupid now?
Davy: Depends on the music.
(Mike and Davy are now face-to-face, despite the latter being a foot shorter)
Micky: Hey, Mike, pick on someone your own size!
*Lauren slaps her forehead.*
Emma: (Grins, elbows Micky) You're the only one here who's close to his size.
Micky: Fine! He was picking on me, too.
Mike: Dave, why don't you take some responsibility for something besides chasing women?
Davy: I DO take responsibility!
Mike: No, you don't! Who does all the cleaning, cooking, bill-paying?
Emma: (Mutters) Me.
Mike: Who's in charge of almost all the instruments and their upkeep? Who finds bookings, haggles for our pay, and keeps Babbitt off our rears?
Peter: (He's ready to bawl again) Michael...
Emma: (Wedges between them) Enough, you two.
Davy: I do my shah around 'ere!
Emma: You boys got cotton in your ears? ENOUGH!
Mike: No, you don't! You reherse, wave, and take off with Allison or Goldie or Ann or Cindy...or Daphne!
Davy: At least I can actually get dates! I seem to recall someone who spent most of 'is Saturday nights playin' wit' 'is bloody damn black guitar inside before 'e got married!
Mike: I wasn't playing! My songwritin' ain't games, Dave! You can't keep chasin' every Goldilocks that comes along! Sooner or later, boy, you're gonna have to settle down!
Davy: (grabs his yellowish-white coat off the kitchen table) Maybe you should chase a few dolls, Mike. It might get that stick out of your ass.
*Micky chuckles.*
Mike: At least I act like an adult, not some damn kid!
(The door opens. Daphne stands in the doorway, looking confused and a little worried.)
Daphne: What's going on? I could hear the shouting in the driveway!
Emma: (Sighs and looks at the boys) Just a few...musical disagreements.
Mike: I wanna try somethin' different, and they blow up.
Peter: Michael, you weren't being very nice.
Micky: You blew up first, man.
Davy: Let's get the 'ell outta 'ere, Daphne. (Looks over his shoulder) I'm takin' 'er to the Malibu Drive-In to see the new movie version of "Olivah" (glares at Mike) DA.
Mike: (Half-jokingly, as the pair leaves) Be back by midnight, son! (Davy slams out of the house)
Peter: (Softly) A...actually, I wanted to try to sing one of the songs Micky usually sings. It's such a nice song, and I like the lyrics.
Mike: What, buddy?
Peter: (Smiles) "Prithee (Do Not Ask For Love)."
Mike: (Frowns) Pete, I agree that it's a nice song, but your voice just ain't up for it.
Micky: Hang on, Mike. Pete can sing the song if he wants to.
Peter: (Grins) Thank you, Micky!
Mike: (Shakes his head) I know how you feel about peace and love and stuff, Pete, but, really, let Micky sing that one.
Micky: *sighs loudly* Mike...
Peter: (Steps back, disappointed) I...Mike...
(Peter just runs back in his room.)
Valerie: Darn it, Mike, why don't you leave him alone? (Runs after him)
Mike: I wish he'd quit hidin' every time things go wrong.
Emma: Maybe it's time we broke up the rehearsal.
Mike: Darlin'...
Emma: Mike, you're behaving like an ass.
Micky: *glares at Mike* She's right, you know.
Mike: Well, if they'd just listen...
Emma: Honey, you're not everyone's father, and they're not your kids!
Micky: How about you listenin' for a change, huh, Mike?
Emma: (Grumbles) Why don't all of you behave for once?
Mike: All of us? Man, all I made was one suggestion.
Emma: Honey, you have to learn to let them make suggestions, too. You're not a solo act.
Micky: You were just gonna haul off and change how you do the song. It wasn't a suggestion, it was "This is what I'm gonna do." *shakes his head*
Lauren: Guys...
Emma: (Nods at Micky and Lauren) Lauren, maybe you and Micky ought to go home.
Mike: Now, wait just a minute, darlin'...
Lauren: Good idea. C'mon, Mick.
(Emma helps Lauren to her feet as Mike fumes.)
Emma: How are you feeling, Lauren? How's the kids? (Glares at Mike and Micky) Other than annoyed with their dad and uncle. :p
Lauren: Ehh, they're having a grand old time moving around, kicking my ribs, being a pain, like someone else I know...
*Micky rolls his eyes.*
Mike: (Mutters) Sure, go home and make two more kiddies. That's all you two seem to do lately.
Emma: ROBERT MICHAEL NESMITH!!!!
Micky: *blinks* What was that, Mike? I didn't quite hear that insult.
Mike: All you two ever do is make out! You wanna have two more kids before you've even had these?
*Lauren frowns.*
Micky: *eyes narrow* Mike...
Emma: Damn it, Mike, I'm about ready to take my hockey stick and smack you clear back to Texas!
Mike: Yeah, you get passionate, Micky...about one thing at a time. I understand that you're excited about havin' twins. God, anyone would be! But you had problems concentraiting even before you met Lauren!
*Micky growls, his fists clenching at his sides.* X-(
Lauren: Mike, come on...
Emma: Ok, that's it. (Points downstairs) You, Michael Nesmith, are going downstairs (points to the door) and you two are leaving. Now.
Micky: Gladly! *goes to Lauren*
Mike: EM, YOU'RE NOT MY DAMN MOTHER!
Emma: THEN STOP BEHAVING LIKE A DAMN THREE YEAR OLD!!!!!
*The dark blue light appears around Micky and Lauren. They disappear, leaving Emma and Mike glaring at each other in the living room.*
(They reappear in the apartment, Micky still angry.)
Micky: (Fuming) Damn Mike! What was with that asshole anyway? I hope Emma knocks his block off with that hockey stick!
Lauren: *small shrug* You did kinda egg him on, Mick.
Micky: Well, he started it! Him and his damn split personality!
Lauren: *sighs* It doesn't matter who started it. What matters is all of you guys are pissed at each other over something that's really kinda stupid. You know you have different taste in music, so what's the problem?
Micky: It gets to be a pain when one of us wants to do a song one way and another wants to do a song another way. (Throws his hands in the air) I wish we all had the same taste in music! Then there wouldn't be any of this bickering!
Lauren: But then you'd be missing the variety in your music. Everything would sound the same.
Micky: (Sighs) I know, but it would save our sanity sometimes. (Shakes his head) Mike is right about one thing, though. Davy's gotta start taking more responsibility. (Grins) I know, pot calling kettle black, but he can be a kid sometimes. That's fine, when you're out dancing with your girlfriend in a disco or seeing a big family musical at a drive-in, but he's almost 22. I know he skips out on cleaning and cooking at the Pad. Not that he can cook, anyway, but it would be nice.
Lauren: *grins* There's gotta be something else he could do around the pad. ;)
Micky: (Grins) He could check all the light fixtures if someone puts him on a really big stepladder. ;)
Lauren: *chuckles* You're bad!
Micky: (Winks) Thank you, babe! (Grins) Now, I think it's time we were gettin' into bed. We've got a big couple of days coming up, with the Club Fairview gig tomorrow and the baby shower soon and all. (Jumps on the bed) Sooo...your side of the bed or mine?
Lauren: I take it back, you're evil! You sure you're completely cured of that? *smirks, swats at him playfully* ;)
Micky: I dunno. My light's still dark. (Pulls her down onto the bed) Besides, in a few weeks, we won't have time for...stuff like this.
Lauren: No kidding. We're gonna be busy, so we may as well make use of what time we have left to ourselves.
Micky: (sighs) Oh, man, babe... (puts his arms around her and starts taking off her shirt gently, nibbling her neck while he does) I love you so much...
Lauren: Love you, too, Mick. :)
(We cut to later in the night. Micky and Lauren are asleep in their bed. The room is dark except for a single nightlight that illuminates Micky's worried face. Micky tosses and turns, murmuring something about devils and music and tubes. As Micky tosses and turns, the screen wavers, and we fade out on their apartment and in on an odd-looking room. A man - the young Zero from "Devil and Michael Nesmith" - plays a rather ugly paisley organ. A very familiar young woman with short hair - Shelia Saunders, also from "Devil" - stands next to him. Both wear bright orange-red costumes and long, huge pendants. He is inspecting a perfect red apple. The room looks like something from out of a 30s sci-fi serial, with Art Deco-ish metal trim and yellowish walls.)
Zero: (Inspects the apple) I have it at last, my dear. The power to twist those meddling children's minds to do our bidding...and for them to twist the minds of the entire world. (Plays the organ a bit) Shall we call them up, Sheila?
Sheila: Let's. This will be quite enjoyable.
Zero: We shall begin. (As he plays the organ, there's some strange, tye-dye-looking special effects, and eight figures suddenly appear - the four Monkees and their four wives and girlfriends.)
Mike: (Looks at himself - he wears one of his brown suits with a fancy tie and his ever-present sunglasses) Wha...what in the hell just happened?
Peter: (Wears one of his bright paisley smocks, pants, beads, and moccassins - whimpers) Where are we, Michael? Valerie?
Davy: (Wears a black turtleneck with his yellow jacket, black pants and white shoes) That was weird, mate!
Micky: *looks around; he wears his poncho--minus the turtleneck--and dark pants* This is too freaky, even for me!
Emma: (Pats her floral v-neck blouse and khakis) Well, at least we seem to be all here.
Valerie: (Wears her yellow-green dress) What's going on?
Lauren: *wears a purple blouse and dark pants* I don't know. I'm not so sure we want to know...
Daphne: (Navy polka-dot dress - sees the two Devils and frowns) Hey, don't we know them?
Mike: (Looks up...and glares) Not you two again!
Zero: Ahh, yes, nice to see you again, White Knight.
Peter: (Whimpers again) But we killed you!
Micky: *groans* Oh, come on!
Davy: Wot's goin' on?
Zero: Oh, you'll find out soon enough, litt'l Lord of the Manah. It's just a delicious little scheme I have cooked up. You'll be doing some...collecting...for me.
Mike: (Roars) I'd never collect anything for you, Zero! X(
Zero: We'll see about that, White Knight. (Looks up) Lower the tubes!
Peter: (Eyes widen) The...what?
Micky: Tubes?
Mike: You been hangin' around with Alakazam?
(Four glass tubes with metal trim decend from the celing...and over the shocked Monkees.)
Emma: No!
Lauren: What the heck?
Daphne: You assholes! (She runs...smack into an invisible barrier.)
Zero: (Grins wickedly) Oh, yes, we forgot to mention. You ladies are also behind glass. We wouldn't want to harm the litt'l Mother and her precious children!
*Lauren frowns.*
(Daphne staggers back. Emma goes to see if she's ok. Valerie gets in front of Lauren protectively.)
Valerie: What's going on?
Peter: (Wails) VAAAAALLLLERRRIIIEEEE!!!!
*Micky and Mike are pounding on the tubes for all they're worth.* X-(
(Davy feels around the tube in shock.)
Zero: Oh, don't worry, Aristocrat. It's just a bit of harmless brainwashing. Right, dear?
Sheila: Absolutely right.
Lauren: *mutters* Harmless brainwashing, my foot.
Emma: Daphne, you ok?
Daphne: (Rubs her nose) Yeah, nothing broken, as far as I can tell.
(Emma and Daphne pound on the glass wall that separates them from the boys.)
Zero: (Turns his gaze to Micky first) Now, dear Savage, who are you?
Micky: *blinks* Huh?
Zero: Who are you, dear Savage? (Grins evily and raises one hand)
Daphne: Damn you, you're up to something, Evil One!
Micky: *swallows* ...Micky Dolenz...
Zero: No, you are Monkee Number One.
Micky: What? No!
(Zero waves his hand. There's a flash of black light. Micky's eyes glaze over and his expression becomes vague.)
Mike: Mick?
*Lauren's eyes widen.*
Peter: (Sobbing) Oh no!
Zero: Now, you are Monkee Number One!
(Valerie puts her arms around Lauren in horror.)
Micky: *repeats, monotone* I am Monkee number one.
(Emma and Daphne pound harder on the glass wall.)
Lauren: Oh shit, no!
Zero: (Turns to Peter, who continues to sob) Now, Golden Bard, you are Monkee Number Two!
Peter: (Sobs, shaking his head) No, I'm Peter Tork!
Valerie: Leave him alone!
(Zero waves his hand, the black light flashes again, and now Peter's gentle face is vague and his eyes are swallowed up in black, like Micky's.)
Peter: (repeats, monotone) I am Monkee Number Two.
Valerie: (Wails) No! Oh, Peter!
Zero: (His smile turns nasty as his gaze turns to Mike, who is punching and kicking the glass tube as hard as he can) And you, White Knight, are Monkee Number Three.
Mike: (Gives Zero is nastiest glare) I AM MICHAEL NESMITH!!!!
Zero: (Lifts his hands) I think I'll enjoy this the most. (Waves his hands, and once again, there's a black light. Mike's anger vanishes. His eyes, too, are swallowed in black, and his expression is totally blank.)
Mike: (also monotone) I am Monkee Number Three.
Emma: (Shrieks at the top of her lungs) NO! NO!
Lauren: Good Lord.
Zero: (His gaze finally rests on Davy, who has been watching the others, a horrified expression on his wide-eyed, delicate face) And you, litt'l Lord of the Manah, are Monkee Number Four.
Daphne: (Clentches her fists angrily) He'd better not try that shit on Davy!
Davy: (Shakes his head, trying to reason with Zero) No, I'm Davy Jones, and you really don't have to...
(But Zero waves his hands once more, and we once more see the black light. Davy's face also becomes vague, the large brown eyes swallowed by black.)
Davy: (monotone) I am Monkee Number Four.
Daphne: (Also shrieks) YOU BASTARD!!!!
Zero: (Turns to a switch on the organ) Now that I've heard from you individually, we'll hear from our former warriors collectively.
(The boys sing "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees" together...but it is slowed down, then speeded up, the boys' expressions matching the speed.)
Emma: (Near tears) Damn him!
Daphne: I'm gonna tear him apart! (Tries to climb the wall, but it is solid glass and too slippery)
Lauren: No... *frowns again*
Valerie: What IS he doing?
Zero: (Flicks the switch again; the boys each collapse in their respective tube, unconcious) Now, I shall prepare them for my master plan. (Nods at Shelia) And you, my dear, can handle the ladies. You always did work better with the soulmates than I did.
Emma: I oughta imagine my hockey stick and whack you all one!
Sheila: Right, Uncle.
(Zero disappears in a flash of black light. The paisley organ goes dark. The boys continue to sleep in their tubes.)
Emma: (Frowns and puts her hand on her heart) I can feel Mike. He's scared and pissed and tired, but he's there.
Daphne: (Nods) I know I feel something from Davy.
Lauren: I can feel Micky. He's scared and pissed, too.
Valerie: Peter is scared to death, the poor dear!
Daphne: Zero must have dropped his control when he left. I guess he figured they wouldn't need to be brainwashed ALL the time if they were in the tubes.
Emma: We've got to get them and us out of here! (Closes her eyes...but nothing comes) Damn!
Valerie: There must be something in this place that shorts out our powers.
Sheila: *joins the ladies, standing on the other side of the glass from them* I'm sure you ladies are wondering what we 'ave in store for all of you. *grins evilly*
Emma: (Turns to Sheila and starts pounding on the wall again) Damn you, Devil Woman, let us out!
Daphne: So I can finish the job I started with that staff! X(
Shelia: *smirks* Only if you defeat each of your challenges.
Emma: (Frowns) What?
Daphne: Haven't we done this before?
Valerie: Don't tell me you're sticking the guys in suitcases!
Shelia: Not quite. Each of these boys have a nasty habit you would like them to be better about. Your challenge is to "cure" them of the habit.
Emma: What do you mean?
Daphne: What "nasty habit?"
Valerie: You're not going to hurt them, are you?
Lauren: Better not!
Shelia: You shall see. The first challenge goes to The Mother. *grins*
Lauren: *eyes widen* What? Me?
Emma: (Gets in front of Lauren) Oh, man! You'd better not try anything!
Daphne: We all know you and your uncle are dying to get your demon hands on Lauren's twins!
Shelia: Her challenge is to break Micky of his *smirks* overly passionate nature.
Lauren: I know how passionate Micky can be, but...
Daphne: Don't tell me, winner gets the soulmate's soul and their soul.
Shelia: *smirks* You ladies are good.
Emma: We're used to it by now. (Smirks) :p
Shelia: Enough of this. We have challenges to do.
*The black light appears. Shelia and Lauren disappear.*
Emma: (Pounds on the glass) Lauren!
Valerie: Oh, God!
Daphne: Damn her!!!! (Also pounds on the glass) If she hurts Lauren or those kids...
Emma: I'll think of a way to get my hockey stick over here and hit that Devil Woman in a far more sensitive spot than her ankles!
(Valerie joins them at the glass, clearly worried.)
*Sheila and Lauren reappear on a darkened stage, where Micky stands, holding a microphone. He grins upon seeing Sheila, but doesn't notice Lauren, who watches Sheila move next to him, smirking.*
*Micky wears the black shirt from the "Goin' Down" video and suede pants. He's grinning, but he scratches at a shoulder, then an arm.*
*Lauren watches wide eyed as the music for "I'm A Believer" begins, but the music itself is a different style. It now has an R&B feel to it.*
(The girls watch from the glass wall, all three bewildered.)
Emma: What the heck?
Daphne: "I'm a Believer" goes Motown?
Valerie: That doesn't sound like "I'm a Believer!"
Daphne: (Grins) It's Micky "Otis Redding" Dolenz!
*Micky begins to sing, but it turns out to be a duet between him and Sheila. Lauren's jaw drops, but she moves closer, waving her arms, trying to get Micky's attention.*
Emma: We must be seeing a dream of Micky's or something.
Daphne: Yeah, isn't he a fan of soul music?
Emma: (Presses her hands against the glass) Come on, Lauren, you can do it! Micky LOVES you! He'll see you!
*Sheila moves in Lauren's way, blocking Micky's view of her. Lauren shoves Sheila aside, finally getting Micky'a attention. He almost loses the line, but he picks it up as Shelia comes up behind Lauren.*
Valerie: Lauren, watch out!
Emma: Be careful! Remember the kids!
*Lauren sees the change in his look and glances behind her. She moves closer to Micky and moves behind him. Sheila is now steaming. Lauren wraps her arms around Micky's waist from behind as the song ends.*
Micky: *frowns; to Sheila* What the hell are you doing? Stay away from her!
*Shelia is absolutely furious.*
Daphne: There you go, Lauren!
Valerie: Nice work!
Emma: Now that's soul music!
Daphne: No, soulmate music! :D ;)
Micky: *grins at Lauren and scratches at his chest this time* Hey, babe...man, is this shirt itchy!
Lauren: Mick, thank God!
(The other girls are all chuckling.)
Emma: Mick, you're ok! Lauren got your soul back!
Valerie: No one in Heaven, Hell, or anywhere else in between can break up those two! :D
Micky: Thanks, babe! Now, can you get my regular clothes back? Think I'm getting a rash from this shirt. *scratches again*
Emma: (Frowns) Hey, where's Sheila?
Daphne: Off pouting somewhere.
Valerie: (Smiles) She underestimated the power of true love!
Sheila: *reappears, still angry* We move on to the next challenge, which is for Valerie. She must get Peter to face his problems rather than withdrawing from them.
Valerie: (Eyes widen) I...I'd love to. I know how scared he gets, but he's so sensitive.
Emma: (Shakes her head) Val, he did it tonight.
Daphne: He does tend to hide from nasty things.
*The black light appears and Valerie disappears as does Sheila.*
(Another black light, and Lauren and Micky appear behind the glass wall.)
Emma: Thank god! (Goes to Lauren and hugs her) Oh, honey, are you ok?
Lauren: Better now. *grins*
Daphne: You were great, Laur! :D
Micky: *still scratching* Man, babe, I'll say! *makes a face* Can't believe I was singing with her, or how itchy this damn shirt is!
Emma: (Laughs) We'll dig your tablecloth back up as soon as we can get out of here and use our powers. I guess you guys can't use yours, either. Even yours, Micky.
Daphne: Or you wouldn't have ended up in those damn tubes.
Micky: *concentrates a moments, then shakes his head* Nada.
Emma: (frowns - there's a black light in the room beyond the glass wall) Wha...
Lauren: Now what?
(The room with the stage is now a simple, gray room with women in strange Oriental/Middle-Eastern-type garb dancing an Indian-type ritualistic dance. A figure sits in the very back, sitting amid gauze, bedecked in white silk and mountains of beads.)
Valerie: (Makes her way around the dancers) What in the heck is going on? (Goes to the figure) PETER?
(It is Peter...but his eyes have an odd, glazed look, and his face is a bit meloncholy. He sings "Prithee (Do Not Ask For Love)" as the women dance around the divan.)
*Shelia watches from the edge of the stage.*
Valerie: (Makes a face) I'm sorry, Peter, but Mike was right. Your voice really ISN'T suited for that song. (Smiles) It's not so bad on certain songs. I wish you'd use your deeper voice sometimes. (Finally stumbles past several women to get to Peter as the song ends and two women come to him.)
Dancer 1: (Takes a needle and jabs it into his arm) There you go, Maharajah.
Valerie: (Thrusts the woman's hand aside) No! What are you doing to him?
Peter: (Looks down and pulls away) Val..Valerie?
Valerie: (Takes his hand and smiles) Yes, it's Valerie. I'm gonna get you out of here, honey.
(She tries to climb into the divan, but the women hold her back.)
Peter: Valerie?
Valerie: (Struggles) No! Let me go! Peter, fight them! They're drugging you into staying with them!
Peter: (Pulls away) But...but they'll hurt me...I don't want to be hurt...
Valerie: (Shakes her head desperately) The drugs are hurting you more! You can't hide from it, honey!
Peter: I...I...
(The women start to push Valerie away from the divan, towards a smirking Sheila, but Peter finally gets off the divan and runs after them.)
Peter: Please, stop! Don't hurt her! I love her! (pulls one of the women away from Valerie as they push her to Sheila and pushes Val behind him) I don't want to hurt any of you, but Valerie didn't do anything!
Woman 2: She tried to take you away, Maharajah!
*Sheila scowls, but doesn't move.*
Peter: (Gets in front of Sheila) Don't hurt her anymore! Don't hurt any of us! She just wanted me to go home!
Valerie: (Puts her arms around his) That's right, honey. I'm gonna take you home, and we'll play some Bach together.
Peter: (City-lighting grin) That's what I do! I'm a musician! (Shakes his head at the women as they disappear) And I'm glad I have someone to play music with. :D
Valerie: Oh, Peter...(takes him in her arms and gives him a big hug.)
Peter: Valerie...(hugs her back, and harder ;) )
*Sheila angrily disappears in the black light, as do Peter and Valerie. Peter and Valerie reappear behind the glass wall with the others.*
Peter: (Grins) Micky! Girls!
Valerie: Look what I found.
Micky: Pete! All right, Val! *grins, still scratching*
Peter: I told those ladies that they weren't being nice to Valerie, and they went away.
Lauren: Good job, Peter!
Peter: (Beams) Thank you! :D
Emma: I wonder who's next?
Peter: Who's next at what?
Daphne: (Makes a face) More challenges.
Peter: (Gulps) More suitcases?
Valerie: (Shakes her head) Not this time.
Sheila: *reappears in the black light, fuming* The next challenge goes to Emma. You must *smirks* decide which Mike is the real Mike.
Emma: (Frowns) What?
Peter: (Frowns) What did you do to Mike?
Micky: Two Mikes? *still scratching* :-/
Emma: But Mike is one person.
Valerie: (Frowns) Didn't you guys say earlier that he sometimes acts like two people?
Sheila: *smirks* With what seems to be two personalities.
Emma: Oh, good grief! Yes, he can be like that. I think it's the country music-rock music thing, but...
*The black light appears again, causing Sheila and Emma to disappear this time.*
Lauren: Oh, man!
Peter: I hope she didn't hurt Mike or Em! She doesn't like Em very much, especially after she hit her with her hockey stick!
Micky: *frowns* I don't like this! *pauses* Anyone got some talcum powder? *scratches harder*
Peter: Micky, what's wrong? (Puts his hand on Micky's shoulder and grins) Oh, you feel itchy on your chest! It must be that satin shirt.
Micky: It's itchy all over, and it's driving me crazy!
Peter: I'd offer you my shirt, but I don't think we need to drive the ratings up.
Valerie: (Grins) And why not? I happen to enjoy certain views!
(Peter just blushes deeply. :"> )
Micky: Thanks, anyway, Pete. It's the thought that counts. *small smile*
Daphne: (Turns to the glass wall; the black light is changing the room again) What in the world....
Valerie: Or out of it...
Lauren: What now?
*Sheila and Emma reappear in a saloon. There's a bar along the left side, a wanted poster hangs just before it. There's tables set up in the rest of the room, with a number of patrons either already drunk or getting drunk. They pay no mind to what's going on.*
Emma: What's this? (Rolls her eyes) Figures this would be Mike's fantasy. (Goes up to the wanted poster) This is awfully big for a poster...(eyes widen as she reads it) "Wanted for Fraud, $25,000...Michael Nesmith?" (Turns to Sheila, now dressed as a cowgirl) What did you do to him, Shelia...or them?
Sheila: *merely smirks* You'll see. *nods behind Emma*
(As it turns out, the oversized "poster" is a stage. Emma steps back in surprise and shock when two men who look very much like Michael Nesmith step onto the stage and sit in front of the poster. One wears a simple but elegant tan suit, tie, and sunglasses, and carries a red and white electric guitar. The other sports Mike's fancy cowboy costume from "Monkee Masquerade" and carries a black-and-brown acoustic guitar.)
Emma: (Eyes widen) M...m...Mikes?
Country Mike and City Mike: (In Unison, to Emma) Hi, darlin'.
(The two men play "Naked Persimmon (The Only Thing I Believe Is True)," throwing lyrics of the country-rock song back and forth.)
Emma: But...they're both like Mike...
*Shelia grins, watching intently.*
(Emma makes a face as City Mike leans threateningly over an oddly timid Country Mike, growling at him. The two men finally reach the climax of the song; Sheila shoots the air over them to get their attention.)
City Mike: (Makes a face) Whaddya ya want?
Country Mike: (Frowns) What's wrong?
Sheila: *to Emma* There you go, *smirks* darlin'. Find out which is really your Mike. *goes over to the bar and takes the first stool, watching*
Emma: But, I...(goes to them) Oh, honey...I wish you could just figure out how to bring both sides of you together.
City Mike: (Crosses his arms) Well, we can't.
Country Mike: I don't like it, but that's how it is.
Emma: (Gulps) Normally, I'd say having two Mikes is my fantasy, but I can't be married to both of you!
City Mike: Why not?
Emma: This isn't Utah.
Country Mike: (Stands and goes to her) Darlin'...
City Mike: (Blocks him; takes Emma) Come on, darlin', you know me, your White Knight.
Emma: I...well, I do, but...
Country Mike: Em...
City Mike: (Glares) God damn it, girl! You know me! We dated for ages. Just got married a few weeks ago!
Emma: Mike (frowns), well, one of you, cut it out!
Country Mike: Em...(takes her gently) You know I wouldn't hurt you.
Emma: (Pulls away) I know you wouldn't, honey. (Smiles ruefully) Honeys. It's just...you love country music (nods at the suited Mike) and rock and roll. You can be so sweet and charming and gentle (sighs), but you can also be tough and demanding and stubborn. That's all a part of you.
City Mike: (Once again shoves Country Mike out of the way; he goes flying into the poster this time) Quit stallin', girl. Which one of us is your husband?
Emma: Mike! (Runs to Country Mike, who is slumped over the knocked-over stools against the poster) Honey, are you ok?
Country Mike: (Nods) Yeah, I'm ok, darlin'. I wish he didn't have such a nasty temper, though.
Emma: He must have gotten your tempermental side.
City Mike: (Grabs Emma) Darlin', come on!
Country Mike: (Gulps) No...
Emma: Stop it! (Pulls away) You're both my husband! He has two sides to him, and I understand that! He's country and rock! (Goes to Country Mike and kisses him. The two Mikes seem to meld into one, now wearing the cowboy suit with sunglasses hanging off the collar. He carries his beloved Black Beauty electric guitar.)
Mike: (Looks at himself as Shelia fumes) Oh, darlin, you did it. I'm all here again.
Emma: Mike! (Hugs him. He tilts her chin and kisses her deeply.)
*Sheila's eyes narrow, fuming, again.*
Emma: (Grins as they come up for air) Yes, honey, you are.
*The black light envelopes them & they disappear, reappearing behind the glass wall with the others. Shelia stand with her arms folded, clearly not happy.*
Emma: (Grins) Hi, gang! I got him...all of him!
Mike: Hey, everyone!
Micky: Hey, Mike! Nice to see you've pulled it together!
Mike: (Rolls his eyes as the others laugh, including Emma) Yeah, well, that was damn freaky, bein' two people and one person.
Emma: How do you think I felt? (Leans against Mike's chest) There's only one Mike in the world I want!
Mike: Good. I'll kill any others.
Emma: (Elbows him) Honey!
Micky: Gladly, too. *smirks*
Daphne: (Turns to Sheila, who is about ready to spit flame) Ok, Freaky-Eyes, where's Davy?
Shelia: You'll see. Matter of fact, you'll all see. Your challenge, Daphne, is to get Davy to focus on you & not the other women in his life. *smirks again* He must learn to face responsibility and adulthood.
Daphne: (Groans) Oh, God! How am I gonna do that?
Mike: (Pushes Emma behind him) We'll all see?
Peter: (Gulps; takes Valerie in his arms) Uh oh.
Mike: Daphne, Mick, you know Dave. What're his fantasies?
Emma: That are repeatable in a family-friendly variety show?
Daphne: (Makes a face) I can take a wild guess.
Micky: Looks like we're about to find out. *gulps*
*The black light appears, making everyone disappear. They reappear in what looks like an over-sized child's bedroom, until they realize THEY'RE toys and NOT in an over-sized room.*
Valerie: (Stumbles; she now wears an elaborate yellow gown covered with lace and glitter, her hair in an elegant coifurre. She carried a matching yellow handbag and mink stole and wears yellow high heels) I must be some kind of Barbie or fashion doll.
Peter: (looks himself over; he wears golden brown fuzzy pants, a stubby furry tail, a red sweater, and golden brown ears) I'm Winnie the Pooh!
Lauren: *glances down at the angel costume she wore in "Monkee Masquerade* Looks like I'm an angel again. *looks at Micky, who's next to her, and grins*
Micky: *makes a face, still scratching; he wears the same itchy black shirt, now with black pants, a long fuzzy, black tail, and black ears* Oh, man, I'm a cat!
Emma: (Makes a face as she looks herself over. She wears the pink "Fairy of the Locket" costume from "Fairy Tale," her brown hair in ringlets, and carries a wand bedecked with silver glitter.) I guess I'm some kid's weird idea of a fairy princess. (Shakes her wand) I wonder if this works... (holds the wand over herself; there's a poof of gold sparkles, and the dress is now dark red and trimmed with gold; the tiara and wand are also gold) Much better. I look hideous in pink! :p
Mike: (Shrugs - he's still in his glittery cowboy costume) Guess I'm a cowboy doll.
Micky: Lucky. *sticks his tongue out, still scratching*
Emma: (Frowns) Where's Davy and Daphne?
Valerie: Over there! (Points at a group of "dolls" in a corner. One is Davy, who wears a frilly shirt and knickers, like a young Victorian boy. The dolls are all dressed as storybook characters or classic dolls.)
Mike: (Makes a face) Oh, man, what's goin' on?
Sheila: *reappears* Since Davy's problem seems to be dealing with "dolls," why not put 'im with dolls? Daphne must get him to notice her and not the other dolls. *smirks*
Emma: (Giggles at Shelia's costume - she's dressed as an old-fashioned shepherdess) Speaking of dolls...you look adorable like that, Sheila!
(Mike, Peter, and Valerie put their hands over their mouths to hide their snickers.)
Shelia: *frowns* It was not my choice.
Micky: But it's so cute! *laughs out-right*
*Lauren also chuckles.*
*Sheila fumes, moving to the side of the room. She watches with a scowl on her face.*
(Davy finally starts to move, singing "Goldilocks Sometimes." He skips over to the "dolls," young women dancers. He dances with each "doll," representing Alice In Wonderland, Raggedy Ann, Goldilocks, and Cinderella.)
(Daphne finally gets up, too. She's dressed as Little Red Riding Hood in a ruffly white dress, white stockings, Mary-Jane strap shoes, and of course, the red cape and hood. She tries to catch up with him and get between him and the other girls, but he continues to dance with them.)
Daphne: (Angry, her brown eyes blaze) Davy, come on. You're not a kid anymore! (Finally pulls him away and dances with him. As they hoof their way towards the others) Davy, I love to dance, too, and sing...but you've got to stop putting off being a grown-up. And don't you...(softly)...love me?
(Sheila waves her hand. The others, not of their own volition, begin to dance too...except for Lauren, who is surrounded by more "dolls," these male dancers.)
Mike: (As he takes Emma's hand) Man, what in the heck...
Emma: She's making us all dance!
Valerie: And get in Daphne's way.
Peter: MIIIIIKKKKKEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Micky: Hey! *tries to reach for Lauren, but can't*
(So many dancers are coming between her and Davy, Daphne can't get to him. She finally joins Davy and the other girl doll dancers as the others dance around THEM , getting in one overhead shot in a brief Busby Berkley parody)
Daphne: Damn it! (Finally grabs him and pulls him across the stage as the male dancers now take the female "dolls" and dance with them) Davy, LISTEN TO ME!
Davy: (Frowns) You don't 'ave to scream at me, luv!
Daphne: Davy, I love you! Can't you understand that? I don't like you running around with other girls! I want to settle down with you someday, to make a home and a family. Maybe you're not ready now, but you will be soon, and I will be, too. I just want to be with you.
Davy: (Frowns) Luv, I...
Daphne: Davy, Micky and Lauren and Mike and Em are all settled! There's nothing wrong with them!
Davy: I...Daphne...
Daphne: (Takes his hand in hers) There's only one way you'll understand. (Pulls him onto the now-empty floor of the room.) And that's with your feet.
Davy: Luv? (She dances slowly and tenderly with him, to Peter's harp version of "I Wanna Be Free." He finally gets into it as one by one, the dolls start to disappear.)
*Sheila is once again fuming.* X-(
(The others stop dancing and, puffing, go to their significant others and start moving slowly to the music as Daphne and Davy finish their dance with a gentle flourish.)
Davy: (As he dips Daphne) Daph, I do love you. I love you so much. You're the only woman for me. (Leans over and kisses her deeply)
Emma: (Looks up from Mike's shoulder as the music ends) Guys, look! (Points at Davy and Daphne, now almost falling over each other on the floor)
Micky: *cheers* All right! :D
Mike: Now that's a grown-up kiss.
Davy: (As he and Daphne come up, both panting) Maybe adult'ood won't be so bad, luv. ;) (They go right back to kissing.)