Everyone ready to rescue Peter and Micky and find out what Sheila, Alex, and Andrew are really up to?

Mike: Hell yeah!

Davy: Yeah! X(

Valerie: Peter's so scared...among other things... :o

Lauren: And Mick's...uh...not good. :P

(We open with a shot of the MonkeeMobile and Valerie's blue Corvette racing across the rapidly darkening streets of Malibu Beach in autumn. As the cars stop in the parking lot, the narration kicks into gear.)

Mike: Gathering our group from the four...well, five...corners of the globe, the Mission: Ridiculous team was assembled to take down the infamous Devil Woman, her henchman, and wax maker who may have gotten a little too intimate with his figures for his own good. The lives of the Panther Man and the Connecticut Counter-Spy relied on our quick thinking and quiet, deadly maneuvers.

Emma: (As they get out of the MonkeeMobile) No, Mike, we can't just barge in there and say "Give us back Micky and Peter and show us the dead bodies, you sons of bitches." :p

Mike: Why not? ;)

Lauren: Sounds good to me. ;)

Emma: We need to plan it a bit better than making wild accusations.

Mike: The New Jersey Jungle Girl was known for her fast wit, attention to even minute details, and her stubborn ability to defuse the wildest suggestions. (Mutters) Even her husband's. :p

Valerie: (Pulls out a gun) Don't worry. If they try anything, we're ready for them. Everyone has their equipment?

Mike: The Western Honey Girl has a cool, uncompromising demeanor. Nothing ruffles the feathers of this bird. She may be called Honey, but she's all business.

Lauren: *frowns* How the heck did I end up with a slingshot?

Emma: In your condition, it's about the only thing that won't hurt you.

Lauren: I wanna hurt them! I'll be lucky if I poke an eye out on one of them with this thing.

Mike: The New England Minx may be small and she may be carrying a little one, but this kitty can definitely roar, especially when the life of her Panther Man mate is at stake.

Valerie: Where's Davy?

Emma: Probably buckling under the weight of all that equipment.

Davy: I 'eard that, Em! *follows along; he is carrying a lot of equipment*

Mike: The strength of the Manchester Marauder is unquestioned, both mentally and physically. He may be small in stature, but he's a giant among men (mutters) and egotists.

Davy: Wot was that, mate? :P

Emma: (Now her voice is heard doing the narration) The Not-So-Modest-But-Towering Texan tends to forget to watch his mouth when the safety of his comrades may be at stake.

Mike: Eeeeemmm, the Mission: Impossible narration is my section! :p

Emma: You don't need to be introducing yourself, speaking of egos. ;)

Valerie: (Gets between Mike and Emma) Ok, ok, enough, guys. (Looks at her watch) Let's get in there. They should just be getting ready to close. We can hide until the last of the customers go.

(Everyone enters the building. As the others duck into the children's room, Emma goes to a pretty young woman in her early thirties. She has short, dark hair and wears a simple green sweater, peasant skirt, and flat heels. Her big brown eyes blink under cat's eye glasses. She makes a face at the gruesome French Revolution exhibit.)

Emma: Hi, Tina. Ugly, isn't it?

Tina: Yeah. Definitely not something I'd want to see in a dark alley in Europe. :p

Emma: Or even America. (Grins) I'll see you later. This place is closing.

Tina: Yeah. I have to meet a friend at a coffee shop down the street. (Winks) Thanks for the cameo.

Emma: You're welcome, dear. Anything for a fan. (As she leaves, Emma turns to Lauren) Our biggest fan. I promised her a cameo in a story. ;)

Lauren: *grins* Anything for a fan. ;)

Mike: Who was that?

Emma: A good friend. (She pulls the others aside as Andrew comes out to close the doors. They duck into the children's room.)

Mike: Ok, gang, you all know what to do. Em, Davy, and I are going to follow that guy and find out just where he's pullin' all this crap.

Valerie: And he's pulling SOMETHING. Sargent Nielson called last night after I told him Peter and Micky were missing. Seems three up-and-coming LA City Opera performers have gone missing in the past month - Christine Webber, who was also appearing as a chorine in your movie, baritone Raoul De Leroux, and soprano Mira Giry, whom, as we know, disappeared shortly after her performance here.

Emma: I wouldn't be surprised if they did the same thing to Christine and Raoul that they did to Mira.

Mike: Which means they definitely won't be respondin' to us if we call them.

Valerie: But that's not the really interesting part. Seems Christine and Raoul were heavily involved in each other and announced their engagement only days before they both vanished into thin air.

Mike: Didn't someone mention the owner of this place was a conductor?

Valerie: For the City of Angels Opera Company before they shut down, apparently. But what...

Emma: Mike, didn't they say at the studio that Christine Webber used to work for the City of Angels Opera before she joined LA City Opera?

Mike: Yeah, but you don't...

Emma: People in love do strange things, Mike.

Mike: (Peers outside - and quickly ducks back in) Guys, hide! Andrew's coming!

Emma: But where?

Mike: (Fingers the costume on the White Rabbit) Hmmm...

(Andrew ducks into the children's room, muttering to himself about wanting a fresh model and his new partners' inability to bring him one. He doesn't even look at the waxworks...which now look extremely odd, even more so than they did before. He pushes a button, revealing a door in the mauve wall. He enters the door, then closes the panel on the button, hiding it again.)

Mike: (Pulls out of the chair in the Alice In Wonderland display dressed as the Mad Hatter) Whew, that was close!

Emma: (Nods, putting down her basket and pulling her brown hair out of their Dorothy pigtails) No kidding.

Valerie: (Shuffles over in her fancy, lacy Cinderella gown, her auburn hair piled on top of her head) Someone's got to follow him, and someone needs to find Mick and Peter.

Mike: (As Lauren awkwardly gets out of her chair in her Alice dress and blond wig) New England Minx, I think you'd better hightail it outta here and get the cops. This could be ugly, and you don't need to be in the line of fire...especially Alex's.

Emma: Don't worry, we'll find Mick.

Lauren: Okay. Fine by me anyway. *tosses her slingshot over her shoulder and heads for the door*

Mike: We'll split up. Em n' I will go after Andrew and find out what his secret is. Dave and Val, you guys search for Mick and Peter.

Valerie: (Puts her hand on her heart) Peter's here, somewhere. I don't think he's been hurt, other than his wrists are sore, but he's scared and for some reason, I've been having blurry spots. Someone's cut off his vision or blinded him.

Davy: I'm not so sure I wanna know wot's 'appened to Mick, considahring 'ow Lauren was acting.

Mike: Come on, guys. Be careful. I don't know about Andrew, but the Devil Woman and her henchman are armed, extremely dangerous, and could have their own people with them.

Emma: If no one finds anything in an hour, we'll meet back here in the children's room.

Davy: Got it.

Mike: Right.

(Cut to Andrew's basement lab. He's puttering around at the chemistry set when we see a black light.)

*Alex enters with another starlet. She's completely out of it and follows Alex dazedly.*

Alex: Got another one for you, Andrew.

Andrew: (Smirks as he joins them) Excellent. This one is for me?

Alex: You bet she is. She's all ready for you.

Andrew: (Pulls the girl down on a table next the chemistry set. Like Christine, she has been shaved. Her dark brown eyes stare at him blankly) What do you think, Andrew? Wouldn't she make a lovely Civil War nurse, tending bloody men on the battlefield? Or maybe a French noblewoman about to lose her head...

Alex: *smirks* Whatever you want, Andrew.

(The camera cuts to Alex smirking as Andrew pulls out various beakers and leans over her body. It moves beyond Alex as Emma and Mike quietly sneak downstairs, still in their costumes from the children's room.)

Mike: (Whispers) Oh man, what's he doin'?

Emma: (Gags) Considering what some of the stuff he's using smells like, I'm not sure I want to know.

Mike: (Sniffs softly) It smells like the same stuff I smelled upstairs. The fluid I smelled when we were near the morgue section of that hospital in Mexico. :p

Emma: The morgue? (Eyes widen) Oh, shit. Mike, I think he's gonna kill her!

(We once again see Andrew lift the knife, the camera focusing on the shadow behind him. The camera cuts to Emma and Mike as Andrew brings the knife down. We don't see him actually kill the girl, but Emma and Mike do. Emma gags and turns away; Mike goes completely pale.)

Mike: Oh my god... :o

Emma: That poor girl...

Mike: He's killin' people! We've gotta stop him!

Emma: Baby! (She turns to grab him and knocks him over. They both go tumbling head-over-heels the rest of the way down the steps, attracting the attention of Andrew and Alex. Andrew covers the body before we have the chance to see more than a little blood on her and his once-white lab coat.)

Andrew: Who's there? What's going on?

Alex: I think we'd better check on what that was.

Mike: Ow. I thought Micky was the one who usually made entrances like that. :p

Emma: (As she and Mike untangle each other) We're branching out. (Turns to Alex) What are you two DOING? What did you do to that poor girl? (She sees the shape under the sheet and turns away, looking a bit sick)

Mike: (Pulls a gun out of his short green Mad Hatter jacket) Ok boys, start talkin'. Why did you just commit cold-blooded murder?

Alex: *rolls his eyes* What're you two doing here? :P

Mike: Stoppin' you two from killin' anyone else who don't deserve it.

Andrew: Oh, but we're going to give her a better life. She's going to be a model for me.

Mike: Model?

Emma: (Eyes widen) Oh my god! Th..the wax figures upstairs! Peter really DID see a human finger in the Jenny Lind waxwork! That's a human under there! :o

Mike: You crazy bastard! Are they all humans?

Andrew: Actually, no. Just a few. I'd love to have more, but (looks at Alex) business has been rather slow.

Alex: You ain't kidding.

Mike: Ok, pal, it's over. The cops will be comin' any minute to take you to a nice, quiet loony bin where you'll be sculpin' things outta clay, not people, and your devil friends to jail where they belong. X(

Emma: Did you kill the others, too? Christine Webber, Raoul De Leroux...

Andrew: I had to kill them. They humiliated me. Christine was the one who got me fired from the City of Angels Opera Company. We loved each other, but she decided she wanted some overly pretty boy instead of the one who was faithful to her, the one who helped her get noticed at City of Angels in the first place! She turned me away, just because she couldn't handle a little rough love.

Mike: Yeah, you're rough, all right. That's a pretty rough scalpel wound that lady's got in the middle of her chest.

Andrew: I was helping her. She was just some empty-headed little girl with empty dreams. Now, she'll be a star.

Emma: (Wails) No, now she's DEAD!

Andrew: (Goes slowly towards Mike - he cocks the gun) I enjoyed doing Raoul De Leroux. Sheila handled the most delicate parts, but I listened to him scream. He screamed when I removed some of his most important features. He has no voice now, did you know that? He had a very big drink from the same beaker we gave Mira Giry. He also has no...(grins)...well, I made sure he won't be chasing after any little sopranos for a very long time.

Mike: Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right here and now, pal.

Andrew: Because that young lady with you is pretty. Very, very pretty.

Alex: *grabs Emma and pulls her over to Andrew; to Mike* Don't you think that's a good reason?

Emma: Mike! :o

Andrew: (Holds the scalpel to Emma’s neck) You keep pointing that gun, Southerner, and your lady friend will become my next great creation.

(The camera focuses for a few seconds on a shot of the sweating Mike in his Mad Hatter costume, gun pointed at Andrew and Emma...before cutting to a quiet hallway upstairs in the wax museum. Valerie, still in her Cinderella gown, and Davy in his Victorian child's costume from "Nightmare Revolutions" wander around, checking doorways.)

Valerie: (Sighs) Nothing. I know Peter's up here, but I don't know WHERE.

Davy: They couldn't 'ave just vanished.

Valerie: They aren't dead. Lauren and I would know if they were, and besides, Alex and Sheila want them as soul collectors. It's just a matter of knowing where they'd have them.

(They both hear noises from one room at the end.)

Valerie: What's that?

Davy: It sounds like it's coming from that last room down there.

Valerie: Knowing Sheila, that's probably her. (Growls) With my husband or Lauren's.

Davy: Let’s go!

(Valerie pulls a gun out from under the folds of her voluminous white and pink lace gown and storms into the room.)

*As Valerie and Davy enter the room, they find Sheila leaning over Peter on a couch. He's still bound and blindfolded with the leather strap. She's having a grand old time kissing the daylights out of him. Micky sits tied up on the floor nearby, not watching, as his eyes are closed. They open hearing Val and Davy's entrance.*

Valerie: (Screams) YOU BITCH! GET AWAY FROM THAT MAN THIS INSTANT! (Holds up the gun)

(Peter looks up, his lips curing into a faint smile. He recognizes that voice.)

Sheila: *looks up* I'm shaking with fear.

Davy: You ought to be! :P

Valerie: You will be when my glass slippers go up your ass! X(

Sheila: *gets up* I'd like to see you try!

*Micky mouths something that can't be repeated in accordance to our rating for this story.*

Valerie: Take this! (She shoots the gun...but instead of shooting bullets, shoots a yellow light. It hits Sheila. When it subsides, Sheila wears a frilly yellow dress, black mary-janes with white lace socks, and a huge yellow bow in her red hair. She even holds a giant lollypop. ;) )

*Sheila screams.*

Valerie: (Turns to Micky) There you go, Micky. You're right. The energy guns you made us really DO work!

*Micky mouths "Thank you!", then grins.*

Valerie: Let me help you. (She shoots Micky. A yellow light envelopes him. When it subsides, he's on his feet in black "Mission: Impossible" gear, with two guns of his own.)

Micky: *sighs* Thanks, Val. Man, I'm so glad I made these guns. *pulls his, spins them, then returns them*

Valerie: (Pushes past Sheila so hard, she flies out of the camera's view; we hear sound effects to the point that she's landed in something that crashes as Valerie gently takes her husband in her arms) Peter, darling, are you ok? Did she hurt you other than kisses?

(Peter shakes his head as Valerie pulls the leather strap from his eyes. He blinks for several minutes, just staring at her with a small smile.)

Valerie: I know she took your voice. I've had a sore throat since yesterday morning. (Rubs his hands covered with the gloves) We'll get you out of these, too. (She gives him the biggest and most passionate kiss she can. A yellow-green glow covers Peter. When it subsides, Peter now wears the Prince Charming costume from the waxwork figure in the children's room and also has a gun and his bow and arrows.)

Peter: Gosh, Valerie, you're the best kisser I know.

Valerie: (Grins) You'd better believe it! :D

Micky: *sniffs* That was sweet.

Davy: *rolls his eyes* Mushy.

Valerie: (Helps Peter to his feet) Let's get out of here. (Turns to Micky) You ok, Mick?

Micky: *scratches at the back of his head* Physically, yes. Grossed out, uh, yeah.

Davy: Dare we ask wot 'appened?

Micky: I'll tell ya later. :P

Sheila: (Camera cuts to her as handmaidens pour into the room; she's flailing in the remains of a table, kicking her mary-jane clad feet and even showing a bit of frilly underwear) Damn it! Damn you all! GET THEM! HANDMAIDENS, GET THEM! STOP THEM!

(Valerie shoots the nearest available handmaiden as "Goin' Down" begins. The beam turns the handmaiden into a butterfly, which flits out the window.)

*Despite having the guns, Micky opts to punch and kick the handmaidens.*

(Valerie grabs another handmaiden and dances with her, ultimately dancing her out the same window the other handmaiden just flew out of.)

(Peter throws the door open and motions for the others to follow him. He ducks as Sheila comes after him. She goes flying over him and into several handmaidens, knocking them down the stairs.)

*Davy joins Micky in punching out some of the handmaidens.*

*As Micky and Davy throw punches, sound effects start appearing on the screen in odd shaped "balloons."*

(The fight spills into the main hall. Valerie and Peter start lifting wax figures and throwing them at the handmaidens to slow them down. Peter shoots at the chandelier on the ceiling, which drops over a group of the handmaidens, effectively binding them together.)

(Sheila angrily throws her lollypop aside. She grabs a sword from one of the medieval statues and goes after Valerie, who makes the jewel-studded short sword her ancestor gave her appear. They duel as handmaidens run to and fro behind them.)

*Micky pulls a gun & starts shooting. Several handmaidens line up and walk back and forth, like in a carnival game. After Micky hits five of them, a siren goes off, alerting that he's a winner.*

(Valerie and Sheila do a double-take as a familiar-looking Batman and Robin chase after several handmaidens, even chasing them up the walls!)

(Valerie and Sheila's duel has made it's way into the children's room. Valerie ducks a swing from Sheila that slices open the panel hiding the button which opens the door. Valerie turns to the others as the door opens.)

Valerie: (Over the ending music) Come on, guys! I'll bet the others are down here!

Peter: Yeah, we've been everywhere else!

Sheila: NO! NO! I will not let you interfere with this plot!

Valerie: If you don't, we'll never get this story finished!

Sheila: Damn it, I hate it when you're right.

Valerie: Come on! Everyone downstairs! Let's get to the bottom of this mystery!

Peter: Of course we're going to the bottom! We're going to the basement!

*Micky and Davy exchange looks.*

(Valerie's hand just reaches out and grabs Peter into the door as Micky and Davy follow.)

(Cut quickly to downstairs. We rejoin the tense stand-off between Mike and his gun and Andrew, who still holds the scalpel to Emma's neck. Mike's hand is shaking a little.)

Andrew: Alex, grab him. Put him in the hot wax. I want to show him what happens to people who interfere with my plans.

Emma: NO! DON'T! MIKE!

Alex: *grins* Gladly.

(Alex grabs Mike's arms, making him drop his gun...just as the door opens and Valerie and Peter burst in.)

Valerie: What's going on?

Peter: Let Michael go!

Alex: No way!

Mike: Guys, he's crazy! He's killed Christine Webber and her boyfriend and Mira Giry and some other chick!

Andrew: Must you blab my whole scheme?

Davy: Wot?!

Mike: Hey, if I let you do it, we could be here all night! Villains love to blab about their schemes.

Andrew: This one doesn't. (Pulls Emma closer to him; Alex reveals his claws and holds them to Mike's throat) Come closer, children, and I'll have two new statues for my museum.

Emma: Could we have a little less intimacy here? You smell like a well-preserved meat locker. :p

Valerie: (Blanches) Statues?

Peter: (Looks very ill) I was right, wasn't I?

Mike: (Nods) Yeah, Pete, you were right. Jenny Lind's really got a human finger...and a human everything else. :p

Valerie: That's sick. :p

Andrew: It's a living.

(Peter puts a hand over his mouth, turns around, and runs out of the room. We hear violent retching from behind Valerie.)

Valerie: Well, we have our own aces in the hole this time. (Pulls her gun out as Peter rejoins them, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand) Are you ok, honey?

Peter: Yeah. Still feel a little funny, though. (He nods at Andrew and Alex) I think it's rescue time again.

Valerie: Let's cut to the chase. Literally.

Alex: I hate this part!

Micky: Well, you're really gonna hate this, Alex! *draws both his guns and hits Alex*

(Valerie shoots Andrew as Emma pulls away and into Mike's arms and "Dyin' of a Broken Heart" begins.)

(Andrew is now dressed as a hippie in colorful psychedelic clothes, love beads, and a beaded headband. He grumbles and goes off-camera to change.)

(Valerie, Peter, Davy, and Micky run downstairs with the remaining handmaidens on their heels.)

*Davy and Micky string some line across the bottom of the stairs. As each handmaiden reaches the bottom, they get knocked down as they’re caught on the line.*

(Each handmaiden goes flying into a pile in the corner of the room.)

(Andrew runs out, now dressed in his blood-spattered lab coat again. Mike cuts him off at the chemistry set.)

(Emma takes her gun from under her blue and white checked ruffled jumper. She shoots Sheila as she comes towards her. Sheila's now naked, though we don't see anything before she throws her hands over her private parts, sticks her tongue out at Emma, and delicately tip-toes off-camera.)

(Mike and Andrew fight over and around the chemistry set, knocking chemicals here, there, and everywhere. Broken beakers and tubes go flying.)

(Sheila comes back out in her regular 70s clothes, looking for Alex.)

*Alex goes after Micky, but Micky ducks behind a statue. Micky peeks around and shoots Alex again. This time, Alex is left only in his boxers, with a pitchforks pattern on them. Micky snorts, trying to not burst out laughing.* ;)

(Valerie ducks around Sheila. Sheila takes a flying leap at her, but she pulls away. Sheila knocks into the vat of boiling hot wax instead, which goes this way and that, looking unsteady...)

(Mike and Andrew continue their fight around the chemistry set. Andrew goes after Mike, who pulls away, allowing Andrew to go flying into his own Bunsen burners. The burners go crashing to the floor...setting the chemicals already spilled earlier on fire!)

(The fire rapidly spreads in the background as Mike and Andrew continue their struggle. Emma struggles with a handmaiden. She's distracted by the fire, but the handmaiden isn't and falls into the tipsy vat of wax...causing it to topple onto the burning floor.)

Peter: Yikes! Guys, the place is going up in flames!

Andrew: (Eyes widen) My work! My life's work! I have to save my life's work! (He tries to run across the slippery wax floor. Mike barely manages to circumvent the spilled wax, running to Emma.)

Micky: Time to get outta here!

Mike: Yeah...(looks up and sees that the fire has spread to the ceiling, burning the wires holding up another vat of boiling wax) Blue-light it, guys! We'll never be able to run outta here now! :o

Sheila: (Looks at Alex) For once, we'd better take their advice. I don't particularly want to be burned in a fire I didn't create.

Alex: Not especially, no.

(There's a series of various shades of blue and black lights as everyone but Andrew disappears. Andrew manages to get back to his feet again, trying to make his way to the door.)

Andrew: NO...no...my creations...my beautiful, beautiful waxworks...you were going to be beautiful forever...beautiful forev...

(The last word is drowned out as the camera cuts to the vat of wax above. The wires finally break, bringing the vat and it's contents crashing down, covering Andrew as flames and smoke engulf the set.)

(We get a shot of nothing but smoke as Andrew's screams blend into the screams of fire alarms. Six people in dirt-and-wax-smeared costumes appear as cop cars and fire trucks appear on the scene. Sargent Nielson and Lauren hurry out of the largest police car. Lauren embraces Micky.)

*Lauren and Micky's embrace is joined by kissing for many seconds without coming up for air.* ;)

Mike: Hey, good idea. (Mike dips Emma and kisses her.)

Sargent Nielson: Is everyone out? What happened? What are all of you doing here at this hour, anyway?

Mike: It's a long and ugly story, officer, but we found three missing opera singers and I'll bet at least one missing wanna-be-starlet.

Sargent Nielson: And what's with the get-ups? Halloween was last week! ;)

Mike: (Sighs) I'm afraid this is all that remains of Andrew Gaston's amazin', life-like waxworks.

Emma: Good. They were a little TOO life-like for my taste. :p

Mike: (Looks at the others) Why don't we go give Nielson our statements and try to explain what went on tonight? (Makes a face) Leave Alex and Sheila out of it, though. I'm sure he'll believe Andrew was gettin' those folks on his own.

Emma: (Sighs and turns to the burning building) It's a real shame the whole place went up, though. This was a lovely old building. I'll bet it would have made a very nice theater museum in the right hands.

Mike: (Puts an arm around Emma's shoulder) Darlin', some things really are better left to history.

Peter: Andrew was such a great sculptor, and a really fine organ player...

Davy: But completely crackahs.

Valerie: But he might be better off like this. He's just like his creations now, beautiful forever.

Mike: Yeah, somewhere....

(We fade out on the group silhouetted against the bright orange flame of the fire and, in the cracking windows, the once-almost-life-like face of the waxwork Jenny Lind...and the real, dead-white human face underneath.)