Everyone ready to rescue the Princess? ;)

Mike: Heck with the Princess, where's Em? X(

Peter: Let's help all those poor girls! :o

Davy: Lets get them blaggarts! :P

Micky: Down, boy, down ;)

*We switch back to the prop room. Micky glares at Davy.*

Davy: Wot?

Katie: Actin! Want actin! :D

Jordan: Uh, yeah!

Micky: You think YOU'RE gonna storm the gates?

Davy: I thought of it.

Micky: How're you gonna storm it? Threaten them with a nail file?

Davy: I bet you think you can do bettah!

Micky: Yes, I do! Let me show you how it's done.

(We cut to the gates as "Pleasant Valley Sunday" begins. Everyone piles out. Valerie gets off her horse and leads it and the MonkeeCarriage to a parking lot right outside the castle, where a young man takes both and leads them to white stables that look like parking spots. Peter hands out "disguises" for everyone - Groucho Marx glasses, noses, and mustaches.)

*Micky carries a horn.*

(A few seconds later, we see the entire group chased out by dogs with sharp teeth and guards with sharper swords.)

*There's a few seconds of everyone hiding before Micky steps out sans disguise. He's mad. Some dog stole his horn. He snaps his fingers, and two fellas roll a catapult over to him. He nods, and they leave. Micky sets up some type of electronic contraption in the launcher. He ties a rope to the launch and steps back until he's behind a tree with Lauren, who covers her ears and closes her eyes. Micky counts off and pulls the rope. The launcher goes off, sending the device towards the gate. It explodes, dropping the gate. Micky beams.*

(It does not, however, drop the dogs. The dogs and their sword-bearing owners chase Micky away from the remains of the gate. One dog bites Micky in the rear. It doesn't do any damage, but it does rip his pants.)

(Tilly takes one guard aside and starts asking him where the aliens are and why aliens are here.)

(Mike and Micky come in dressed as delivery men. They carry huge hunks of meat, which they feed to the dogs.)

(The guards chase the cops away. The cops run into the trees, much to Valerie's annoyance.)

*Davy goes up to a couple guards and waves at them. They chase him and Davy runs them right into a tree. Little cartoon birds circle their heads as they land.*

(Tilly is still telling her guard about the aliens. She sees someone and walks off, and he falls down, asleep.)

*A half dozen guards surround Lauren, cat-calling. She folds her arms, shaking her head. The men want to see skin! She holds up an index finger, then pulls a dagger from its hidden spot on her thigh and throws it at one guard, who falls to the ground, smiling. She unsheathes her sword and finishes off the other five while they're still stunned with happiness.*

(Peter ducks around another group of guards. One is about to run him through when some of the drunks from the Inn, who were dueling with other guards, fall into THEM. Everyone but Peter falls over each other. Peter shrugs and walks off to find Valerie.)

(One of the drunks grabs two guards and ram them together. Two of the cops drop from the trees onto guards.)

(Mike finally finds Davy finishing off the last of the guards as the music ends and everyone begins to regroup.)

Mike: Everyone ok?

Peter: (Nods) I think so.

Valerie: Could you guys make MORE noise? This is supposed to be a sneak attack!

Tilly: I haven't seen any aliens!

Inn Patron 1: Where's the beer?

Mike: (Rolls his eyes) Why me? (To the others) Ok, we're gonna have to split up, since I'm sure they know we're here by now.

Peter: Why don't we make two groups? Half of us can rescue the Princess, and the other half can find the stolen papers.

Mike: (Mutters) And my wife. (To the crowd) Micky, Lauren, you come with me. Pete, you and Davy take the crowd and go after the Princess. Val, you and the cops keep a look-out for Alexander or any more of his goons.

Micky: Right.

Davy: Got it.

(We cut to inside Hades Castle, which looks something like the inside of Kibbee Manor with dimmer lights and older antiques. Mike, Micky, and Lauren wander through the halls, Mike holding a sheet of paper.)

Mike: (Mutters) Wish we'd kept the original map. That's what I get for lettin' Pete make the copies. Would any of you know where the dungeon is? :p

Micky: Well, considering it IS a dungeon, the basement.

Mike: (As they make for the basement) I think Queen Sheila and Alexander have Em.

Lauren: If they do, we'd better find her. We already thought she was dead once.

Mike: (Nods) I don't know what I'd do if I lost her again.

(They enter what is definitely the dungeon set from "Hell Bent" and "Dream World" without the torture devices or monsters.)

Mike: Is it me, or is this familiar?

Micky: *frowns* Definitely familiar. :P

Mike: Come on. (He walks downstairs...but is stopped by a very, very large henchman in a costume from "Dream World," "Monkees In Wonderland," and the Monkees episode "Fairy Tale.")

Man: What do you want?

Mike: Um, Sir Alexander sent me and my people down here to retrieve Mrs. Emma Nesmith from her cell. Queen Sheila has urgent business with her.

Man: Queen Sheila is miles away in Belgravia, and I've received no such message from either her or Sir Andrew. :p

Mike: You must have gotten the wrong memo. Surely you remember our mission?

Man: I don't remember no mission!

*Micky ducks away and returns moments later looking like Alexander.*

Micky: What is going on down here?

Mike: (Leans over and whispers) Nice scars. Almost look real.

*Micky winks.*

Micky: *walks up to the man* Well?

Man: Are you sure you're Sir Alexander?

Micky: *grabs the man around his next and glares at him* What do you think?

Man: Uh, right away, sir. I think I'll go get the girl.

Mike: Smart guy. Real quick-witted, too.

Micky: Oh, yeah. *rolls his eyes*

Lauren: Mick, you look absolutely scary like that.

Micky: *looks himself over* You're right. Too bad it's necessary. :P

Mike: (Whispers as they follow the man down the hall) You can take it off as soon as we get out of here.

Micky: Good.

Man: Here's the prisoner, sir. (He brings them to Emma's cell. She lays on a pad of straw, her eyes closed as her short, wavy hair puffs out around her face. She looks pale and haggard.)

Mike: EM! (Turns to the man) What did they do to her?

*Micky puts a hand on Mike's shoulder and gives him a slight shake.*

Man: (Puts up a beefy hand) Don't look at me, son. (Nods at Micky) She's one of Alexander's chits. (Grins wickedly at Micky) Came back for more, eh? Got fed up with that little princess and decided to go for some real meat?

(Mike looks like he's about ready to tear the man limb from limb.)

Micky: *still holds onto Mike* Yeah, I did, actually. Brought a couple friends along, if you get my drift. So why don't you go take a hike, okay?

Man: Uh, yeah. Have fun. Don't get too noisy. You'll wake the inmates. (He walks off, leaving the keys with Micky.)

Micky: That was easy enough. *lets Mike go* I know how you feel, Mike, but you almost blew it!

Mike: I'm sorry, Mick, but...look at her! My poor darlin'! (Indicates the woman in the cell, who is just beginning to awaken) Just the thought of her in the arms of that madman...

Micky: Then don't think of it. *puts the key in the lock and turns it; the cell door opens* Here you go.

Emma: (Opens her eyes; weary) Hello? Who is it? (She slowly and stiffly sits up, glaring at Micky) Alexander, if you're back for second helpings... (her eyes widen) Mike? Is that you?

Mike: Em! (Goes to her immediately) Honey, you're really alive!

Emma: Right now, I'm not too sure about that.

Mike: (Sits next to her on the straw) Darlin', what did that little prick guard do to you? If he even tried to... (Mike's so angry, he can't get the words out)

Emma: (Shakes her head) He didn't get the chance, thanks to Queen Sheila. He was called away before he could get very far in THAT direction.

Mike: (As Emma groans) Darlin', what's wrong?

Emma: He never did...hurt...me physically, but he gave me some sort of weird drug. (Tugs one choppy lock of hair) I don't remember much, besides this...(looks at Mike)...and I kept saying your name. It all seemed so wrong, what he was trying to do. (Leans against him) I've missed you so much.

Mike: (As Emma falls against him) Whoa, darlin', don't pass out again! Someone help me with her!

(All three help Mike get the plump young woman to her feet.)

Mike: I have a million questions I wanna ask you, darlin', like what you're doin' alive, but that's gonna have to wait until the next part. We've gotta find those papers and help Davy and Pete save the Princess.

Emma: The Princess? Davy?

Mike: (Lifts Emma's chin) I'll explain later, darlin'. For now... (gives Emma a tender, passionate kiss)

Micky: *to Lauren* Time to leave?

Lauren: Time to leave. We'll be out here somewhere.

*Micky and Lauren wander through the dungeon while Mike and Emma kiss. Lauren stops.*

Micky: What is it, Lauren?

Lauren: I thought I heard something. *heads around a corner and down a hall; Micky shrugs and follows her*

Lauren: *stops in front of another cell* Micky, look! *points inside; she found the Abbies*

Micky: *pulls out the keys again* Hang on, ladies!

Maxine: (As she, Kim, and Jenny come to the door) It's about time! :p

Micky: We did the best we could. *opens the door*

Kimberly: (Narrows her eyes and puts up her karate stance) Ok, little boy, why are you letting us go? Finished Daph off and decided to do the rest of us, just for kicks?

Lauren: *rolls her eyes and smacks Micky* You still look like Alexander, Dumb-Dumb!

Micky: Uhhh, oh yeah...

Lauren: Don't worry! It's only Micky! He made himself up to look like Alexander so we could get down here!

Kimberly: Aww, darn, I need practice!

Jenny: It's really you guys? :D

Maxine: Took you long enough to save us.

Lauren: Would I be hanging around this fool if it wasn't Micky?

Micky: Thanks, Lauren, I think.

Man: Hey, what's going on? (He goes over to the group...and his eyes widen) Oohhhhh. You're REALLY feeling the urge tonight, ain't ya, sir?

Micky: *makes an aggravated sound* YES, I AM! Something WRONG with that?

Man: Uh, no, nothing at all! (He returns to his desk, whistles, and twiddles his thumbs)

Kimberly: (Grins) Damn, you're GOOD.

Micky: I'm scaring myself.

Maxine: We've gotta get moving. The real His Royal Ugliness has Daphne in his Chamber of Horrors, and I'm not even sure I want to think of what he's gonna do to her there.

Lauren: Yeah, let’s get out of here. This place is giving me the creeps.

Jenny: Hey, what's that sound?

(Mike and Emma are still kissing, and getting quite into it.)

Micky: Uh oh. We left the reunited love birds out there!

Lauren: We'd better stop them while we still can!

Maxine: I think the phrase "get a room" is appropriate here.

Kimberly: Hey guys, we've been saved and we're gonna go save Princess Daphne now, so could you hold off on the happy reunion until the END of the part?

(Mike and Emma pull apart, blushing.)

Mike: Um, yeah. Let's go save that unfortunate damsel in distress from the clutches of the evil, insane, ugly, nasty Sir Alexander! (Pulls out his sword and draws it...and gets it stuck in the fake rock ceiling) Oh, darn! (We fade out on everyone chuckling as he tries to pull out his sword)

(We cut back to the prop room, where the kids are all on the edge of their seats.)

Katie: Yay! Get Emma! :D

Jordan: Yay! :D

*The twins cheer.*

Micky: If you think that was good...

Mike: Mick, if we let you continue, we'll be here the rest of the night. Everyone was startin' to make long-winded speeches. :p

Micky: *glares* You think YOU can do better?

Peter: Whoa. (Gets between Mike and Micky) Remember our audience, ok guys? Why don't I pick up the rescue of the Princess?

Katie: Pwincess! Pwincess!

Shelly: Save the Princess!

Peter: (Pulls a trunk over to the kids and starts to climb it) Davy, Peter, and their, um, people found Alexander's room in the tower on the map, and just kept going up and up and up...

Micky: Peter!

Peter: I have to tell them how far they went!

Mike: Not THAT far. Don't get worse than Mick, Pete. We don't have all day.

Micky: Thanks, Mike. *pauses* Hey!?

Peter: (Sighs, ignoring the other two, and "climbs" the trunk again) Ok, so they were climbing the steps...

(We fade out on Peter "climbing" the trunk...and fade in on booted feet climbing actual steps. Cut to Peter, Davy, Tilly, and the others walking up a long, long twisting stairway.)

Peter: Good thing we had the original map! It told us right where Alexander's room is! :)

Inn Patron 1: How much further? My legs are killin' me!

Inn Patron 2: Where's the beer?

Inn Patron 3: Where's the women?

Inn Patron 4: When do we get to skewer someone and do all that Errol Flynn stuff?

Peter: Soon! We're almost there!

Tilly: Where's the aliens?

Inn Patron 5: There's aliens here?

Inn Patron 2: I KNEW that Alexander guy wasn't from this planet! Too ugly.

Davy: Stop it with the aliens!

Inn Patron 1: If you ask me, it's that Sheila broad who ain't from this planet! What a witch! All she needs is the green face!

Peter: Shh! (He waves his hand to quiet the others as they finally find a black wooden door at the end of the stairway that appears to have just been repaired.)

Inn Patron 3: It's about time!

Tilly: Well?

Peter: I hear something...

*On the other side of the door, we see Alexander kissing Daphne. He's very much into it.*

Peter: (Puts his hand over the keyhole) Um, Davy, don't look. You won't like it.

Inn Patron 4: (Over wolf-whistles) But WE will!

Davy: Wot? Wot's 'e doing? :P X(

(Davy shoves Peter aside so hard, Peter almost falls back downstairs.)

Peter: Ow! :p

Inn Patron 3: Well? See anything good?

Davy: I'm going to break this door down with my bear 'ands!

Peter: Davy, be careful! You might hurt your hands, or the door, for that matter!

*Davy steps back, then slams both fists against the door, knocking it off its hinges and to the floor as everyone moves back. He steps in, smoke practically coming out his ears.*

Alexander: *eyes widen a bit, then he makes an exasperated noise* Great, now I have to fix that door again!

Inn Patrons: (In unison) Aw nuts!

Inn Patron 5: There goes our fun! :p

Davy: *points at Daphne* Let the Princess go!

Alexander: Not a chance.

*"Hard To Believe" begins as Davy advances on Alex. Everyone else has pennants and popcorn. They’re cheering Davy on and booing Alexander.*

*Davy swings a fist at Alexander, but Alex pokes Davy in the eye. The crowd boos again.*

(Tilly throws pottery and items on Alexander's desk at him, calling him a dirty alien!)

(One of the Inn patrons grabs Alexander and lifts him like he's bench pressing, claiming he weighs nothing at all!)

*Alexander bites the patron's finger.*

(The patron drops Alexander on the hard floor, muttering about diseases and rabies.)

(Peter pulls a blanket over Alexander. Time for bed!)

(Davy pulls him back up and takes another sock at him. He knocks Alex into a patron, who shakes him into another guy, who knocks him into another guy, who knocks him right into the bed next to Daphne!)

*All the while we hear "bing!" "bing!" "bing!" with each hit over the music. When Alexander hits the bed, a neon "TILT!" lights up above.*

*Alexander makes a face, then lets rip with a very loud whistle. It's followed by the sound of a stampede that ends with Alexander's men appearing.*

(Peter nods and lets out an equally loud whistle. Valerie and the cops appear from the other side!)

Valerie: (Over the music) Help is on the way!

Peter: Val! Thank god! I wasn't sure you heard me!

Valerie: Heard what? I read the script!

(The room is getting very crowded. Some of the bar patrons grab the couch and use it to drive some of the guards out of the room and down the stairs!)

(Inn patrons pull out swords and start to flail them around, trying to look like they know what they're doing. They do hit people, but usually not the people they're supposed to be dueling with.)

(Davy grabs Daphne and gives her a HUGE kiss, then tosses her a sword and goes after Alexander.)

Alexander *shakes his head; over the music* That's it. I'm out of here. *slips out of the room*

Davy: Come back! We ain't had the big dueling scene yet! (He chases after Alexander, passing Mike, Micky, Lauren, Emma, and the Abbies on the way)

Mike: (Comes in as two more guards are thrown out the door) What in the HECK...

Kimberly: What the hell is going on? I thought this was a rescue mission, like in "The Devil and Mike Nesmith!"

Mike: Well, it would seem...whoa! (He pulls the others aside as another person is tossed out of the fray. It turns out to be Peter. Mike and Micky help him to his feet) Pete, what's going on?

Peter: We're saving the Princess!

Maxine: (Indicates Daphne as she duels with one of Alexander's guards) It looks more like the Princess is savin' all of YOU.

Emma: Goodness! :o

Lauren: *folds her arms* That's our Princess. ;)

Peter: (As the music winds down) I think we're just about finished. (Valerie and the cops move away from their huddle to reveal the remaining Guards. They're all bound, gagged, and pantsless. The Inn Patrons hold their pants, grinning...those who haven't passed out.)

Mike: Nice job, guys.

Valerie: SO much easier than killing them.

Emma: Yeah... (but she sways a little; Mike catches her)

Mike: Em, are you ok? Maybe we'd better get you outta here.

Emma: I'm all right. Really, Mike. I just need some air.

Valerie: Emma? Lady Emma Nesmith?

Peter: She IS alive!

Inn Patron 3: Wow! What was in that last beer I had?

Inn Patron 2: That's it, I'm laying off the hard stuff.

Tilly: Wow, people coming back from the dead! That's better than aliens!

Emma: (Puts up her hands) Look, folks, we're wasting precious time. I'll explain on the way back to Belgrave Castle.

Davy: *goes to Daphne* Princess, are you okay?

Daphne: I think so.

*Davy and Daphne embrace.*

Inn Patrons (In Unison): Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!

(Mike puts his arms gently around Emma.)

*Micky slings an arm around Lauren's shoulders.*

(Valerie and Peter embrace as well.)

Emma: (Frowns) Oh man...I almost forgot! I can't believe this! Alexander must have really done something to my mind! (Turns to the crowd in general) We have to get back to Belgrave Castle NOW! I know why Alexander took off so fast!

Mike: 'Cause he couldn't stand losin' again.

Peter: He's a very poor sport.

Emma: Well, that's probably part of it, but I know why Sheila invaded the Belgrave borders. She wants the castle to be unprotected!

Mike: (Narrows his eyes) So she and Alexander can grab the king and queen while no one's there.

Emma: (Nods) Exactly. I heard them plotting.

Peter: Emma, you've been in the castle. You stole those plans. You know what Queen Sheila and Alexander will do next.

Emma: (Nods) Right.

Valerie: And you'll know how to stop them?

Emma: (She exchanges a grin with Mike) Well, yes.

Mike: I'm sure we could all figure somethin' out.

Peter: If Queen Sheila kidnaps or kills Millie and Larry, she'll take over Belgravia and kick us out of our jobs!

Valerie: We won't let them, honey.

Inn Patron 2: Darn right! Do you know how much beer costs in Hades? :p

Inn Patron 5: And it tastes like pig swill, too!

Tilly: And look at this! (She indicates the chemistry set and a book of spells) Not only is that Alexander guy an alien, but I think he's a warlock, too! Man, is this gonna be great talk around the bar at the Inn!

Micky: Till, can I see that?

Lauren: Don't do it, Tilly. :P

(Mike goes to the chemistry set and pulls a cover over it, then glares at Micky, his face saying "touch this and you die.")

Inn Patron 5: Let's get those witches!

Cop 1: I wanna arrest somebody!

Cop 2: We ain't been used much!

Peter: You'll all get your turn! Belgrave Castle is big enough for EVERYBODY!

Mike: Right. Let's go save the Queen and King, not to mention our jobs and our beer!

(Cheers go up from the crowd as everyone heads down the stairs...except for Davy and Daphne, who have started smooching again.)

Mike: Davy? (Shakes him) Your highness, we're goin' now.

Davy: 'Uh? Oh, sorry.

Daphne: We're coming.

Peter: What's going on here?

Mike: Oh, nuthin', Pete. (Grins) Nuthin' at all. (He and Peter leave Davy and Daphne alone)

*They go back to kissing as we fade out on them.*