Ok, folks, everyone ready to figure out what's going on with this dinner?

Micky: You bet!

Peter: Not if it involves murder! :o

Lauren: I'm game.

Mike: Aw, come on Pete, it'll be all right. I'm game, too.

Davy: I'm rathah lookin' forward to a murdah. ;)

(Peter whimpers. :( )

Micky: *slaps Davy in the back of his head* Dave! :P

Davy: Wot?

(Cut to the dining room, where a long cherrywood tables is set for the entire party. There are already small bowls of fruit and bread set up around the table at every place.)

Davy: (As he sits between Sybil and Daphne) Maybe they should have put out bigger bowls for Mick.

Mike: Anyone got any troughs? ;)

*Micky glares at Mike and Davy over his bowl, which he's slurping out of.* :P

*Lauren tries to not snicker.* ;)

Ida: (As she serves soup) I like a man with a good appetite. ;)

Mike: Micky's is so good, he holds the land speed record for eating pizza. ;)

Micky: *puts his bowl down and grins* Darn right, and proud of it! :D ;)

Annie: Hey Carol, you haven't touched your soup. You gonna eat, or what?

Carol: I'm saving room for dessert.

Sybil: Is something worrying you, dear?

Carol: It's just...I don't trust this food.

Peter: The food wouldn't hurt us!

Reggie: It might poison us.

Sybil: (Drops her spoon; Peter does the same, a horrified expression on his face) Gracious! We'll ALL die! :o

Annie: Reg, knock it off. If this stuff was poisoned, we'd all be dead already.

(Peter whimpers again. :( )

Lauren: Well, it's true. Mick would've dropped by now. ;)

Micky: Why would the food be poisoned, anyway? :P

Annie: Carol has this weird idea someone's going to kill her. :p

Carol: I KNOW someone is! I've recieved threatening notes and phone calls, and I found a stuffed bird with a noose around it's neck in my dressing room! Do you know what that means?

Sybil: Someone has seriously disturbed notions of celebrity worship.

Annie: Some fan has a damn weird sense of humor.

Reggie: Someone was trying to get a rise out you, Carol. I've told you, it's nothing to worry about.

Carol: You ALL hate me! You (points at Annie) want money from me!

Bobby: That's not true! (Looks at Annie) Is it, sweetums?

Annie: I don't want YOUR money.

Ida: (As she finishes with the soup bowls) Yeah, she wants Reg's.

Annie: (Glares) Aren't you supposed to be seen and not heard? :p

Valerie: Carol, you're imagining things.

Carol: Am I? Reg, where have you been when you've been out on all those conventions?

Reggie: I've been at the convention. (Frowns) You think I've been...

Carol: You HATE me! You've been dallying with someone for YEARS!

Reggie: Now, Carol...

Sybil: Carol, your subconcious is playing tricks on you.

Carol: Maybe YOU'RE playing the trick. What would you do if I didn't go to see you for an hour, four days a week?

Sybil: I have other clients...

Annie: Who ain't nearly as flush as the wronged woman is. :p

Peter: (Whimpers) I don't think I like this party anymore. Everyone has such nasty auras! :(

Mike: Look, everyone, calm down. Carol, do you have any substancial evidence to prove that your life is being threatened? Do you still have the strangled bird or the note?

Carol: (Shakes her head as Ida, the other maid, and Curry come in with the entrees) I threw the notes away the moment I got them, and I called people to get rid of that horrid bird. :p

Emma: Do you remember what the notes said?

Carol: (Nods) "You will meet your doom on the night of your engaement. You've lived a fairy tale life, but the charm will end by midnight" and other such nasty things. :p

Ida: (As she passes the food out) Sounds like someone's been reading too many storybooks to me.

Mike: Carol, is there anything else that makes you think you're going to be the one who dies tonight?

Carol: I...I recieved...a letter.

Mike: Well, that's scary. ;)

Carol: No, it made horrible, false claims. It wanted money.

Peter: Why would a letter need money?

Micky: So do chain letters. :P

Carol: It claimed that I...that I recived my soap opera role under false pretenses.

Annie: I could have told them that. How did Doris Haymen just HAPPEN to get sick when you were planning on returning to work? :p

Carol: (Wails) I swear, I had nothing to do with that! :o

Bobby: Annie, are we really broke?

Annie: Not so broke I'd beg, snookums.

Peter: (Puts down his fork) I'm not hungry anymore. I wanna go home! :((

Valerie: Peter... :(

Mike: Look, Carol, we're all here, right? No one's dead, right?

Annie: (Mutters) YET. No one is dead YET. :p

(Sybil nudges her. :p)

Reggie: (As Ida takes the bread baskets) I'm not hungry, either. I have a phone call I need to make. (Stands as Ida takes his plate)

*Micky shrugs and goes about stuffing his food down.* ;)

Davy: Man, we could be in the midst of "Rosemary's Baby," and Mick would STILL chow down. ;) :p

(Peter whimpers more; lighting strikes and loud thunder is heard.)

Mike: Man, I wish they'd quit overdoin' it with the sound effects. :p

Carol: (Puts down her fork, even as Ida puts out large dishes of a fancy coconut cake laden with icing and ice cream) I'm not very hungry, either. :p

Sybil: What we need is to boost our morale. All of this talk of death and murder has made this a rather sedate gathering.

Peter: I play Parcheesi! :D

Mike: No, Mick, you're NOT allowed to wear a lamp shade. ;) :p

Sybil: Is that the new style?

(Annie snorts. ;) )

Micky: Rats. :P

Valerie: Miiiiickkk...

Sybil: Is that some kind of manefestation of your unmitagated desire for amusement?

Micky: Huh? :-/ ;)

Bobby: What did she say?

Annie: SHE probably doesn't know. :p

Sybil: I do!

Carol: I'm worried. Where's Reggie?

Emma: He's been gone for less than five minutes.

Mike: Hey, why don't we play for you folks?

Peter: (Beams) It'll cheer everyone up! :D

Davy: I 'ave one we've only played a few times. 'Ow about "The Party?" ;)

Mike: Well, it's appropriate. ;)

Sybil: Oh, my, we get to hear a rare Monkees song! :D

Carol: Well, I suppose so...

Mike: Good enough. ;) (Cut to the guys, who play the song in the picture window in the hall as we cut back and forth between them and the antics at the party. ;) )

(Sybil watches Micky shovel his coconut cake in, facinated by the copious amount of food going into his skinny body. ;) :o )

(Annie pours Mike, Bobby, and herself a drink. Emma has a soda. Mike gulps it and asks for something stronger, ignoring Emma's none-too-thrilled glare. ;) )

*Lauren checks to make sure that all of the lamp shades are attached to the lamps.* ;)

(Some of them are missing...but then realizes Peter has been stealing lightbulbs. ;) )

*Lauren gives an odd look, curious what he's doing with the bulbs, then shakes her head. She doesn't want to know.* ;)

(Davy and Daphne do a temptuous tango in the hall. ;) :X)

(Carol is walking around, looking scared to death. We hear something break; she screams and runs off. The camera cuts to Peter, who dropped a hot lightbulb and is blowing on his fingers. :o :p)

*Micky snitches untouched food from the rest of the table.* ;)

(Carol gulps as she hears what she thinks sounds like a wildly beating heart, before Micky passes by, playing one of his tom-toms. ;) :o )

(Carol screams as a hand carrying a knife suddenly appears in front of her eyes. The camera follows the rest of the hand, which happens to belong to Curry. He's carving the rest of the night's roast for sandwiches. Carol breathes a sigh of relief. :o )

(Carol joins Mike, Emma, Annie, and Bobby. The latter three now have several drinks surrounding them. Annie finally hands Mike a larger glass of something dark-looking. Mike, looking a tad bright-eyed, takes it and gulps it. He grins for a few minutes before passing out. Emma rolls her eyes; Carol screams and runs out of the room.)

Carol: (Runs into the dining room, where Micky is polishing off the last slice of coconut cake. Sybil, Lauren, Valerie, and Peter sip tea and coffee, chatting and eating what Micky left) HE'S DEAD! MR. NESMITH IS DEAD! HE WAS POISONED! :O

Peter: No! Mike! :o :((

Valerie: Did you check his pulse?

Lauren: I kinda doubt that. :P

Carol: No, but I saw him collapse on the floor after having a drink! :o

Peter: I KNEW the brandy was poisoned!

Micky: *snorts* He's probably drunk! :P

Valerie: Brandy's lighter than that. Mike must have found a drink he couldn't handle. ;) :p

(That's when we hear another scream, this time from the other side of the hall.)

Carol: (Puts up her hands) I SWEAR that's not me! :p

Valerie: (Eyes widen) No, it's Ida! :o

Lauren: We'd better check on her!

(We see a quick cut of running feet in good shoes and heels. Everyone bursts into the hall, including a wobbly Mike. Ida's screaming is coming from a large set of double doors to the right of the main entrance.)

Annie: She's in the lounge!

Bobby: (Yanks at the door) They won't open! They're locked! :o

Lauren and Micky: Let us in! Let us in! :-O ;)

Ida: Let me out, let me out! :o ;)

Bobby: Anyone got any ideas?

Emma: Hair pin to the rescue! (She pulls a hair pin out of her purse and goes to the door; it finally opens)

Ida: (Pale and shocked) Oh, god, Carol... (she points into the lounge. The group troops into the room. Reggie is sprawled over the phone table. The phone lays on the floor. Reggie's head and neck are covered in a thick, dark red substance.)

Carol: (Shrieks) Blood! He's dead! God, he's dead! :o

Annie: Now I'll never get my money. :p

(Peter whimpers and leans into Valerie's arms.)

Emma: Someone's got to call the police.

Mike: (Sways a little; Emma catches him) Someone's gotta clean him up. He's really ugly, spread out over the floor like that... :p

(Peter turns green, puts a hand over his mouth, and runs out of the lounge. :-&)

Emma: Mick, Lauren, go call the police and find Davy and Daphne. Valerie, help Ida. I think she's in shock.

Lauren: Right! *she & Micky leave to find the phone*

(Valerie sits down on a couch with a very pale Ida. Carol joins them, still wailing and sobbing.)

Davy: (As he and Daphne join Mick and Lauren) Wot's goin' on? We 'eard Ida screamin' fit to wake the dead!

Micky: Reggie's been murdered. Ida found him in the lounge. :P

Daphne: You're kidding! :o

Davy: And we all thought it would be Carol, the way she's gone on all night!

Daphne: Well? Are you getting the police?

Lauren: *as she continues on to grab the phone* That's what we're doing.

Davy: (As he looks under the table) Um, mates, I don't think you're going to get through to the police.

Lauren: *receiver to her ear, finger hovering over the rotary* Why not?

Davy: It's a bit difficult to get through to anyone (pulls a wire out from under the table) when the phone wire's been cut.

Lauren: Oh crap. *put the receiver down* :P

Micky: Great. Now what? :P

Davy: Maybe someone could drive or walk out to the police department.

Daphne: (As we hear more thunder) In THAT weather? :p

Lauren: We have to do something!

Davy: I don't get it. Why would anyone kill Reggie?

Daphne: I never DID like Public Eye books. ;) :p

Micky: I have no idea why.

Daphne: Carol could have done it. Or Annie. Don't know why Sybil or Bobby would.

Davy: There's always Curry. 'E IS the butlah. ;)

Lauren: It could've been anyone. Not everyone was together.

Davy: Where were you two when all this was going on? (Snickers; Daphne elbows him) ;) :p

Micky: Funny, Dave. :P

Daphne: We can vouch for each other. We were in the hall, on our way to see if Mick left anything in the living room.

Davy: Even the chaihs. ;)

(Emma, Mike, and Valerie join them at this point.)

Valerie: Did you get a hold of the police?

Mike: Police, hell! Let's call the Marines or somethin'!

Lauren: We couldn't. The wire's been cut. :P

Valerie: Oh, no. :o

Emma: Ida's better, but Carol's going into hysterics.

Valerie: Annie's big mouth isn't helping.

Mike: Anyone have somethin' that'll revive Bobby? He's been standing in the same spot with his mouth open like a fish for ten minutes. ;) :p

Emma: Maybe we could send someone to the police.

Valerie: We don't have the time.

Peter: (Wiping his mouth on the side of his sleeve) Did you get the police?

Mike: No, and no one will. The wires have been cut.

Peter: Are they tied in a bow? ;)

Micky: No, sorry, they weren't that neat. :P ;)

Emma: This is getting ridiculous. We've got to find who did this!

Peter: Has anyone seen Curry in a while?

Valerie: We need to find him, too, and find out if everyone was accounted for during the approximate time of the murder.

Micky: Last I knew, he was cutting up the roast.

Emma: After we talk to the others, maybe we should split up.

Mike: Yeah. This is a big house, and we'll cover more ground that way. (Sways a little; Emma catches him)

Emma: And some of us need the support. :p

(Mike sticks his tongue out at his wife. :p)

Valerie: I agree. Let's go get to the bottom of this.

Lauren: Yeah.

Peter: Wouldn't we have to start in the basement, then?

(Mike smacks his snickering friend on the back of the head as they head off to the lounge.)