Everyone ready for a skating party?

Mike: Not really...

Micky: Ready!

Peter: I'm looking forward to it! The kids will have so much fun.

Davy: Sure, mates!

(We open in a large skating rink in downtown Los Angeles. People skate to the tune of various instrumental Christmas songs. We first see Peter, Davy, Daphne, and Emma leading Jordan, Lizzie, Katie, and Robbie onto the ice. Everyone wears warm clothes and ice skates.)

Katie: (She takes off right away) Oh boy, this is fun! Watch me! I'm like Dorothy Hamill!

Emma: Katie, come back here! (She grabs the little girl) Don't run into anyone!

Robbie: (His steps are far more tentative) Me too! I go!

Emma: (Takes Robbie's hand) I wish your father would stop acting like a child and come out and join us. He's probably afraid the five-year-olds will run him over.

Davy: It's been too long since I've been ice skating.

Daphne: *Nods* Me too! We should do this more often!

Mike: (He stands behind the railings, flapping his arms around himself) It's too darn cold in here.

Peter: Come on, Michael. Even the kids are out with us! (He's helping Jordan skate. The boy is a little wobbly.)

Katie: (She's gliding along nicely) Wheee! Look at me, Mama!

Emma: (Laughs) Very nice, sweetie.

Robbie: Sisser go!

Katie: This is so much fun! (She turns in circles)

Mike: Yeah, fun.

Emma: Where are Micky and his brood? Lauren and Valerie are watching Austin and getting us a good seat for lunch.

Micky: *Off-camera* INCOMING!!! *He shoots onto the ice and just keeps on going.*

Robbie: Wow! Can I do dat, Mama?

Emma: No, and Uncle Micky shouldn't, either.

Katie: How did he do that?

Emma: Another new invention.

Peter: I told him it was too crowded to try those Rocket Skates he was working on!

Katie: Rocket Skates? Wow, cool!

Peter: Dave, can you take Jordan? I'm going to see if I can retrieve Micky.

Jordan: Where did Uncle Micky go? I don't see him...

Davy: *Points across the rink* He's over there...somewhere.

Peter: I'll find him. I hope he didn't hurt anyone.

*Micky shoots back across the rink and flips over the half-wall.*

(There's a squawk from under Micky. When Peter skates over them, he finds Mike trying to scramble out from under Micky without being hit by his skates.)

Micky: Sorry, Mike!

Mike: Damn it, Micky, why don't you wave a flag or somethin' when you go speedin' around like that?

Peter: Guys, are you ok?

Micky: Well, my skates sorta have a mind of their own.

Mike: Tell me you ain't tryin' those Rocket Skates you told me about.

Micky: Of course I am!

Mike: Man, those things have gotta be dangerous! How much firepower did you put into those babies, atomic level?

Micky: It's only 5 horsepower!

Peter: I'm sure Micky will be ok, once he learns how to control them.

Micky: Yeah.

Mike: Sure he will.

Peter: You know, Michael, maybe you'd be able to help Micky control his skates if you'd get on the ice yourself.

Mike: I'm fine where I am.

Micky: Mike can't skate.

Mike: They don't have much in the way of ice in Texas, and we could never afford the rinks in Houston.

Peter: That doesn't mean you can't learn. There's no ice in Los Angeles, either, and most of the children seem to be learning just fine.

Mike: We can afford the rinks.

Peter: Michael, you're just afraid that your wife and children may upstage you...and you'll show that there's things even you aren't good at.

Mike: No, I ain't. Just don't feel like bruisin' my butt, that's all.

Peter: Come on, Michael. If the kids can do it, you can.

Mike: But...

Peter: No buts! Go get some skates on and join us!

Mike: (Sighs) I have skates on. I was gonna join you as soon as the ice cleared out.

(Mike tentatively steps onto the ice...and immediately starts flailing. We see that yes, he is wearing skates like the others. He grabs the railing to keep from falling down.)

Mike: Damn it!

Peter: Well...it's a start, Michael.

Mike: (He skates out a little and almost falls into Micky) Why do I have to be a klutz?

Micky: *Shrugs* Because you've never done this before?

Mike: 'Cause I...yikes! (He does fall this time, landing flat on his back.)

Peter: Oh man! Michael, are you ok?

Mike: Is anything broken?

Peter: (Moves Mike's leg) You seem to be ok.

Emma: (She skates over, with Katie on her heels) What's going on? Are you ok, Baby?

Katie: Papa, did you fall?

Mike: Yeah, I did. I don't know how to skate like you do, cowgirl.

Katie: Mama and I will teach you!

Mike: I ain't so sure that's a good idea...

Emma: It'll be fun, honey. Come on. Robbie's with Davy, Daphne, and Lizzie. (She and Katie grab Mike's hands and pull him awkwardly over to the rest of the group)

Peter: Why don't we rejoin the others? Where's the twins, anyway, with Lauren and Val?

Micky: Mom and the girls took them and Leah to give Lauren a break.

Peter: And she and Val are watching Austin. She can practice for her next child.

Micky: Just don't tell her that. She's been a little irritable lately.

Peter: Oh dear. Mood swings?

Micky: Not really. Just irritable.

Peter: Yelling at you over nothing?

Micky: Some of that, yeah.

Peter: Getting upset over little things, crying for no reason? Val did a lot of that when she was pregnant with Austin.

Micky: She gets annoyed easily and quickly. That's most of it.

Peter: (Sighs) And this is not a good time of year for people who get annoyed easily and quickly. Did you buy another 10 foot tree for your house?

Micky: No, I'm behaving myself at home.

Peter: That's good. (Smiles) Why don't we skate together? We could work on those Rocket Skates. Just be careful around children and people who aren't good with skating, like Michael.

Micky: Sure.

("The Skater's Waltz" begins as Peter and Micky head out to the ice. Peter weaves around people, humming along to the music.)

(Katie holds onto her papa's hand, showing him how to skate. Robbie holds onto his mama's hand. Mike's as red as a tomato. Emma just grins.)

(Peter skates past Al the Caterer. He glides by with a tall, lovely, doe-eyed red-head who beams at him.)

*Micky passes by a tall woman, dressed in a tight white sweater and a short white flowy skirt chuckling at her male companion who's seated on the ice. He looks quite a bit like Al the caterer, except with facial hair. He has his arms crossed and shakes his head, obviously not doing well on the ice.*

(Katie giggles and waves to the band playing the number. The diminutive, dark-haired, wide-eyed drummer waves back eagerly.)

(Katie leads Mike past Officer Howlett and a black female cop with very pale hair, who are the security guards for the rink.)

(Mike isn't looking where he's going and accidentally falls over onto the guy with facial hair. Emma and his companion help them up and pull them away from each other before they start a fight. Officer Howlett is giving them not-nice stares.)

*The man grumbles as his lady friend tugs him away.*

(Katie, Jordan, Lizzie, Davy, and Daphne make a chain with two young women in letter sweaters and a trio of college-age and teenage girls in gloves and knit hats. They all spin around until they go flying.)

(The two women skate over to their boyfriends in leather jackets, who are obviously trying to skate while inebriated.)

(The college girls skate up to the band and look like they might be flirting...until Officer Howlett skates by, glaring at them. The girls finally blush and skate away; the boys hide behind their instruments.)

(Emma and Daphne bring the kids over to a group of children and their parents, and they all skate together.)

(Peter takes Mike's hand and leads him around the ice, trying to get him used to it.)

*Micky is now gathering people, all holding each other's hands and slowly skating in a circle.*

(Peter grins and pulls Mike over to the circle over his noisy protests.)

(A tall young man with straight black hair wearing what looks like a hand-embroidered vest drags his best friend, a short fellow in a sweater and t-shirt with wiry brown curls, over to the circle as well. Two blond women in 70s peasant blouses and tight jeans follow them, shrugging. Why not?)

(The teen girls join the circle, too, grinning and giggling amongst themselves.)

*The chain of people begins to pick up speed, still moving in a circle.*

(The guy with the brown curls looks ill. Peter's having the time of his life. Mike's barely holding on and looks like he's ready to kill Peter.)

(The red-head pulls Al over to the chain. Oh come on sweetie, it'll be fun!)

*Al seems a bit unsure, but since she's asking so nicely, he goes over anyway.*

*The chain is moving MUCH faster now...*

*The tall woman in white is trying to tug on the man with facial hair. He clings to the wall, shaking his head.*

(Mike squeezes Peter's hand so hard, Peter gasps.)

(The woman in white finally grabs the hand of the Asian-American teenager on the end and make sure she's holding her boyfriend's digits VERY tightly.)

*The chain spins and spins, until Micky gives the signal...and lets go!*

(And EVERYONE goes flying! The girls fly into each other and land on the ice, laughing their heads off.)

(The tall guy, his curly-haired buddy, and their girlfriends go flying against a wall in a heap.)

(The two drunk guys just collapse where they are.)

(Their lady friends find themselves running into the band. The tallest member with the loudest guitar chases them back onto the ice.)

(Mike goes flying into the concession stand. He crashes over a counter. When he pops up, his head is covered with ketchup and mustard.)

(Peter spins into the group of children...and past them. Katie giggles. Let's all spin! All of the children follow Peter's lead, spinning until they're too dizzy to stand.)

*The woman in white and her boyfriend spin into each other, landing in an almost suggestive heap, and start laughing their heads off.*

*Al and the red-head spin past the other two, grab onto each other, and slowly come to a stop next to the wall. Once they think they're in the clear, both slip and land on their rears. They start laughing, too.*

*Micky is just spinning around...and around...and around. He suddenly stops, wobbles, and lands on his rear, laughing as well.*

Peter: (He skates up to Micky, with Davy following...and Mike barely moving behind him) Micky, that was great!

Micky: *Gets up* Wasn't it?

Mike: I'm gonna send you the bill for the concession stand. (He's still wiping ketchup out of his hair)

Micky: Anyway, I'm gonna practice with my skates some more. *clicks a small remote-like device that hangs from his neck; he takes off like a shot*

*Micky ends up blurring past where Lauren and Val sit. They turn to watch him skid down the hall, out the front doors, and into the shrubs out front.*

Lauren: *Sighs* At least I never have a dull moment.

(We fade out on Val and Lauren's shrugs as Peter, Davy, and Mike scramble out the door to rescue Micky.)