Ok, everyone, ready to look for Lauren and the kids?

Mike: Yeah. I'm real worried about them.

Peter: Me too.

Davy: Not just them. I'm worried about Mick, too.

*Micky just stares sadly off into space.*

(We open in what looks like the saloon that's been seen in a few Arizona Ghost Town stories. Two little heads peek in.)

Katie: It looks safe, Mick. I don't smell any bad people.

Jordan: Are you sure?

Katie: (Sniffs again, then smiles) Yeah, I'm sure. I just smell funny drinks.

Little Mick: Lets go in, then.

(All seven kids troop in, with a listless Lauren behind them. She sits in a booth while they explore the premises.)

Katie: (She keeps sniffing) I don't see anything worse than funny glass bottles n' stuff.

Robbie: (He points to a bar stool) Wanna ride!

Jordan: Ok. You gotta be careful, though. If you get hurt, our mommies and daddies will be mad! :P :O

(He helps Robbie onto the seat. Robbie spins around and around!)

Robbie: Wheee!

Shelly: (Pulls Mick behind the bar) I wonder what's back here? (She picks up a seltzer bottle) Look at this funny bottle! (She presses the nozzle...and accidentally squirts her brother right in the nose)

Little Mick: Hey! *laughs*

Shelly: Oops! Sorry! This must be a soda bottle. Maybe you make ice cream sodas with it!

Robbie: Where ice cweam?

Katie: Robbie, I don't think this is an ice cream place. I think it's a bar. It's where grown-ups drink stuff.

Robbie: Like soda n' stuff?

Katie: (Makes a face) Stuff we're not supposta drink.

Jordan: (He holds up a liquor bottle) I wonder why not? Some of these bottles are pretty! Look at this label with the pirate on it!

Katie: Or this label! (She holds up another one)

Jordan: Hey, maybe we could be bar people and pretend to serve the little kids?

Katie: At least until our mamas and papas can find us. I can feel mine. They're both a little mad, but they're ok.

Jordan: Mine are kinda scared, but they're ok, too.

Robbie: Want Mama n' Papa!

Katie: (She runs to her brother) Don't worry, Robbie. I'm sure they'll come for us soon!

Jordan: (Turns to Mick and Shelly) What about you guys? Can you feel your dad? I know you said you can't feel Auntie Lauren anymore.

Little Mick: Daddy's very sad.

Jordan: (Frowns) You guys are sad, too. I can see it in your lights. (He hugs Mick) Will this make you feel happy?

Little Mick: It helps a little.

Katie: (Squeezes Leah's shoulder) Don't worry! We'll find our parents and get your mama fixed!

Leah: Okay.

Jordan: (Goes to Lauren) How do you feel now, Aunt Lauren?

Katie: Does she have a light yet?

Jordan: (Shakes his head) No. It's still gone.

*Lauren just stares off.*

Robbie: Auntie's no fun!

Katie: Auntie's no anything. I wish we knew where her light went!

Jordan: I'll bet the bad people stole it!

Katie: Me too. (Looks up) Mick (she goes behind the bar again), how did you jump on the Bad People? I've never seen you do that before!

Little Mick: They made me mad!

Katie: Remind me not to get you mad again. You really knocked them down!

Jordan: Just like the grown-ups on TV who play football!

Katie: I guess you were mad when you broke all that stuff, too. Have you ever done that at home?

Jordan: I hope not! You wouldn't have anything left to break!

Shelly: I don't think Mick has ever gotten that mad at home.

Little Mick: Not at home. I haven't had reason to.

Katie: Do you think you could do it again if the Bad People try to be mean to us?

Little Mick: Maybe.

Lizzie: Guys! Guys! (She runs to the others) Someone's coming!

Katie: Maybe we'd better hide!

Jordan: What if it's the Bad People?

Katie: We could set up a trap for them!

Jordan: I don't know...

Katie: (She pulls some twine from a drawer under the bar) Maybe we could trip them! Mick, help me tie the ropes!

Little Mick: Okay!

(She and Little Mick tie rope on either side of the door, then run, giggling, for the main room.)

Katie: (She helps Robbie off his stool) Come on. We've gotta hide!

Robbie: 'Kay.

Katie: Who wants to hide Aunt Lauren?

Shelly: We'll do it! (She and Mick pull Lauren under the table she's sitting at)

Jordan: (He takes Lizzie and Leah under the piano on the bandstand. Katie hurries Robbie behind the bar) This is a little squished, but I think we'll be ok.

*Several voices grow louder and closer. The door opens. The first person through trips on the rope.*

Mike: Who in the hell left that rope there?

Davy: *Pokes his head in, looking down at Al, who's now on the floor* Have a nice trip, mate?

Al: *Groans* It was just lovely. I think I'll have to go on it again sometime.

Peter: Are you ok, Al?

(Mike and Emma help him to his feet.)

Al: Oh, just peachy.

Katie: (To Robbie) I think I heard Papa!

Robbie: Papa! (He runs right out to Mike and Emma)

Katie: No! Robbie!

Mike: Well well, look what we have here? (He grabs his son and lifts him over the rope and into his arms) Where have you been, cowboy?

Robbie: Here! With sisser!

Emma: Figures. This looks like something the kids would do.

Mike: The rest of ya can come out now. We ain't gonna hurt ya.

Katie: Papa? (She ducks out as the other kids run to their parents. Shelly and Little Mick pull Lauren to Micky.)

Shelly: Here's Mommy, Daddy. There's something wrong with her.

Jordan: The Bad People stole Aunt Lauren's light!

Peter: (Frowns) Oh Mick, she...she has no aura.

Shelly: Can you make her better?

Micky: *Frowns as tears begin; takes Lauren's hand; she stares back blankly at him* Oh, Lauren...

Mike: Shit. This is exactly how I felt when they took Em's soul.

Shelly: (Leans against her father) Daddy, I want Mommy.

Micky: *Sniffling* I want Mommy too, sweetie.

Katie: Those Bad People are mean! This isn't fair! I wish I could bite that mean ol Bad Man again! Mike: Life ain't fair, cowgirl. I wanna bite them, too, but we don't even know where they are.

Jordan: We gotta find Aunt Lauren's light!

Valerie: (Rubs Jordan's head) Don't worry, honey. That's where we're going next.

Mike: (Grins at the bar) You know, I'm awful thirsty after running around the desert for hours n' hours. Who wants a drink?

Peter: I'll bet the kids could use one, too.

Emma: Mike, the devils could be back any minute now!

Mike: We'll kick them in the rear again if they do show their ugly faces. When a man needs a drink, he needs a drink.

Valerie: Al, want to play bartender?

Al: I think I can handle that. Alright kids, bar's open!

Katie: Yay! (The adults lift the kids onto bar stools and sit on the remaining ones)

Robbie: Ise have...soda!

Katie: I'll have a root beer!

Mike: Gimme a beer, whatever's on tap.

Al: *Grins* Coming right up!

Emma: I'll have a root beer, too.

Peter: (Shrugs) Soda water and lemon.

Valerie: Me too.

*Micky sits with Lauren at a booth, trying to bring her around.*

Davy: I'll take a soda water and lemon, too.

Daphne: Root beer for me.

Jordan: (Looks up at his father) Daddy, I need ta go to the bathroom.

Peter: (Sighs) There has to be a bathroom around here somewhere. I'll take any of the kids that need to go. We don't know when we're going to get home.

Katie: I'm ok!

Robbie: I gotta go!

Leah: Gotta go!

Little Mick: *Makes a face* Me too.

Peter: Ok, kids. Let's go. (He takes Little Mick, Leah, Jordan, and Robbie to find a bathroom)

Lizzie: (Leans against her father) I ok, Da. I just have a soda.

Davy: Okay, luv. What would you like?

Lizzie: Uh...Pepsi?

Davy: A Pepsi for the little lady, please, Mr Bartender.

Al: *Smiles* You got it.

Lizzie: (As Al hands the tall glass of soda to her) Thank you, Mr. Al!

Al: You're welcome, sweetie.

Mike: Hey Mick, you want anything?

Micky: *doesn't look towards the bar* Water.

Al: *sighs* I'll bring it over to him.

*Al fills a glass with water and heads over to the booth with it. He sets the glass on the table and opens his mouth to announce it's arrival, then changes his mind and just leaves it. He turns and heads back to the bar.*

Mike: I wonder if I should try talkin' to Mick. I went through this a few months ago. I know exactly how he feels.

Emma: (Takes Mike's hand) Leave him alone, baby. He needs to try to help Lauren his own way.

Mike: (Shakes his head) I don't think... (Lifts his head; Katie does at the same time. They both sniff) Hey cowgirl, you smell what I do?

Katie: (Nods) It's somethin' bad. Somethin' really mean.

Mike: (Growls) They're comin'. We've gotta get the kids outta here.

(As it turns out, there isn't time. Alex throws open the swinging doors of the saloon, followed by Sheila, Zelda, and a horde of demons.)

Katie: Go away, Bad Man! You hurt Aunt Lauren!

Mike: Alex, what did you do with Lauren's soul?

Alex: I put it somewhere safe.

Mike: (Storms over to Alex and grabs him by the shirt) Where?

Micky: *Stands* Where is it, you bastard!?

Katie: (Storms after her father) Bad Man, you give us Aunt Lauren's light back, or I'll bite you!

Mike: So will I. And my bites hurt a LOT more.

*A black light appears in Zelda's hands.*

Sheila: I'm hardly frightened of an army that can barely spell it's own name.

Katie: Hey, I'm a good speller!

Lizzie: Da n' Ma are teachin' me letters!

Zelda: *Holds up a jar which holds a purple light* Is THIS what you're looking for?

Katie: Gimmie that light! (She lunges at Zelda)

Mike: Put that back in Lauren, where it belongs.

Zelda: If I drop this and it breaks, her soul is gone for good!

Emma: NO! Zelda, give it back to her!

Mike: What about that little one she's carrying?

Zelda: *Taps the jar* That one's in here, too.

Mike: (Wraps his hand around Alex's neck) YOU BASTARD!

Alex: *Chokes out* Zelda, drop it!

Micky: NOOO! Mike, LET GO!

Sheila: Damn it! (She concentrates; Mike stops mid-squeeze) Enough of that, White Knight.

Katie: Papa! (She goes right up to Sheila and kicks her!) You make my Papa move again, Bad Lady! x(

Sheila: (Grabs her knee and ends up on the floor) Owwwwww! What do they put in slippers these days, rocks? Attack them, you fools!

("Sweet Young Thing" begins as Emma runs over to her daughter and husband. She gives Mike a deep kiss; he starts moving again.)

(Lizzie tugs on Davy's hand. Let's go get the Bad People!)

*Zelda pushes outside of the crowd with the jar.*

(Emma tackles Sheila while Mike brawls with the demons. He ends up on the floor with three of them, wrestling. Katie jumps in the pile too, not because she cares about hurting anyone, but because it looks like fun!)

(Valerie makes a drink for one of the demons. She hands it to him. He drinks it, turns into a bird, and flies away.)

(Lizzie and Davy duck a demon that was thrown into the back of the bar! We cut over to Mike, who dusts his hands off. The moment he moves, another demon tackles him.)

*Micky goes after Alex. The two really duke it out.*

(Valerie goes after Zelda, trying to get the jar.)

(Emma pushes Sheila against the bar. She grabs a handful of olives and shoves them in her mouth.)

*Al ducks out from behind the bar and heads outside.*

*Handmaidens get in Valerie's way, protecting Zelda. After several moments, Al sneaks in the front entrance, coming up behind Zelda...*

Peter: (As he brings the other children out; over the music) What's going on?

Jordan: (Points) The Bad People!

Robbie: N' monsters!

Mike: (As the music ends; he and Daphne tie the remaining demons with the rope used to make them trip) Ok, devils. We want you to give up Lauren's soul, and we want you to do it NOW.

Alex: Not a chance! Zelda! *looks around for her*

*Zelda's still near the front, but Al has quite a kiss going. So much so that he's already got the jar completely out of her hands.*

Katie: (Points to Al and Zelda) Wow! They're good!

(Jordan's jaw drops. Peter gently pushes it back up to his face.)

Mike: The thing's a guy's gotta go through to help a friend, huh Al?

*Al pulls away, leaving Zelda dazed, with the jar in his hands. He attempts to get over to the booth where Lauren sits.*

Emma: (She struggles with Sheila) Come on, Al!

Sheila: Alex, don't let him do it!

Alex: *Goes after Al* You sonuvabitch!

Peter: (He aims his crossbow at Alex) Don't touch him!

Sheila: Alex, get it and get outta here! (She concentrates and vanishes in a black light)

Emma: Damn her! I wish she'd finish what she starts!

*Alex does manage to cut off Al, surprising him. He grabs the jar, makes it disappear in a black light, decks Al, and disappears.*

Valerie: (She and Daphne hold Zelda's arms) Look what we still have.

*Zelda's still rather dazed from the kiss.*

Mike: Hey, I have an idea. You know, we don't normally do the kidnappin' thing, but maybe it's time we had a little leverage of our own.

Davy: I like it.

*Micky helps Al, who's holding his jaw, back to his feet.*

Mike: We don't even have to go anywhere. We can bunk here. They know where we are. When they want Zelda and to tell us where they're keepin' Lauren's soul, they can come for it.

Emma: I like that idea. Someone just has to imagine themselves to wherever the Devils ran off to and tell them our demands.

Mike: (Turns to Al) How about you and I do it?

Emma: He'll take you where you have to go.

Al: *Makes a face, still holding his jaw* Would love to.

Mike: The rest of you do somethin' with Zelda. (He makes him and Al disappear)

Valerie: Now, what do you all think we should do with Zelda?

Robbie: (Grabs her leg) Tickle her! (Does so)

(The kids run up to Zelda and tickle her. We end with Zelda laughing her head off as the kids continue their severe tickle attack, with their parents snickering behind them.)