Ok, everyone ready to find Bela and get the gas we need to finish this story? ;)

Mike: Hell yeah.

Peter: Yes!

Micky: Ready!

Davy: Me too.

(Fade back in on Mike at the Montgomery House ballroom. He now leans on Emma, yawning.)

Mike: (Big yawn; eyes are fluttering) Ok, who... (yawns again) wants to go next?

Emma: I'll see if I can finish the story. We look like we're losing a lot of people.

(Valerie nudges Peter, whose eyes were closing.)

*Micky's already asleep and snoring gently...for now. Davy leans against Daphne, his eyelids heavy. Daphne is awake. Lauren's asleep as well.*

Emma: We're back on the road again...or trying to be. The cars have given up the chase...

(Fade out on the blazing chandelier in the ballroom. Fade in on a blazing hot sun over a rugged California valley. The Van Dyke and the girls' car roll towards the beach, past several mansions, and even across the Main Street Malibu Beach set. Finally, both cars stop at a spot near what looks like the dry, cleared land from "Monkeeing Around the Clock" without the obvious construction trappings.)

Mike: (As the Van Dyke rolls to a stop) Damn it. Micky, what's goin' on?

Emma: (As their car rolls to a stop) Lauren, please tell me we're not out of gas!

Lauren: Okay, I won't tell you.

Micky: No no no, this can't be happening...again!

Mike: Shit! Pardon my French there, I know we're in some melodrama thing but...what are we gonna do now?

(That's when we hear the familiar sounds of whooping and hollering. The hillbillies' car stops right next to the Van Dyke.)

Pa: (Leans out) Pardon me, fellas, do you need some whiskey straight up?

Emma: What do you mean?

Valerie: We don't drink.

Mike: (Grins) He doesn't mean for us. He means for the car. You have any of that left?

Pa: Enough to find that cheap son-of-a-goat and beat him at his own game, then make it to the finish line.

Micky: Fantastic! *waves to Lauren* Lauren, they've got some...ahem, fuel, we can use.

Lauren: Good. I'll take anything that works.

(Pa hands Micky a jug; Kaleb hands Lauren another jug.)

Mike: (Grabs the steering wheel) Ok, everyone. Hold on tight. We're gonna go places.

Emma: I wonder how this would work with your special engine, Lauren?

Lauren: I have a feeling it'll work just fine.

(Micky gets out and pours the jug into the Van Dyke. Lauren does the same with the girls' car.)

Emma: Ok, Lauren, put on the special weapon, and we'll find our gas!

Lauren: I'm on it.

(She pulls the lever in the car, which jumps nearly a mile and speeds ahead of the guys and the hillbillies. The girls wave to the annoyed guys as Micky adds the moonshine to their car.)

(Cut to the beach. We get a long tracking shot of the girls speeding across the sand.)

Valerie: (She wears a white, lacy summer gown; Emma's still taking notes) I think I saw Abernathy's car turn onto here a while ago...

Daphne: *Lowers her camera* And I think I see where he went... *points at an opening* over there.

Emma: (Nods at the opening in the rocky shoreline; Abernathy's car and another, larger black car are parked in front of it) They must be there. (Turns to the others) But we have to be careful. It may be a trap.

(The girls walk through what looks like the cave set from "Monkees of the Caribbean." Emma points to a beam of light at the end.)

Emma: I think I see the exit!

Valerie: Thank goodness! (Stumbles over a rock in her button-up, high-heeled boots) I did not wear the right shoes for traipsing around in cave sets.

(The girls enter what looks like a lush garden; it is, in fact, the set from Grandfather's garden in "Head Trip" re-configured with more tropical and California flora. Bela, Abernathy, and Max sit at a table, sipping tea and coffee and eating pies and cakes. Max takes one look at Lauren and runs behind a tree, quaking with fear.)

Emma: (Gasps) You! Where's our gas, you creep? I'm going to expose you!

Valerie: Give us our gas so we can finish the race, Mr. Lensherr.

Abernathy: No way, Sir! I'm going to win that race!

Bela: Of course you are, Abernathy.

Emma: He'll do nothing of the kind.

Abernathy: (Points to Emma) We can't let her write that story, Sir! I know she's been keepin' notes on this whole trip and sendin' them to her lady boss.

Emma: Who is probably publishing them in the New York Daily Star even as we speak!

Valerie: You're through, Bela! Aunt Barbara will see to that.

Abernathy: No, we ain't! We've still got your gas. You can't keep goin' on whiskey fumes. I know what those idiot moonshiners are up to.

Emma: You give up that gas, or I'll tell Daphne to send Mrs. Marion her most incriminating photographs.

Abernathy: Boss, can I grab one of them? Just to show that we mean business? (Eyes Emma)

Emma: You touch me, and I'll sic Lauren on you!

*Lauren smirks.*

Bela: I grow tired of this. Boys!

(A group of thugs appear at this point, all looking menacing.)

Emma: I'm getting really tired of this.

Lauren: Me too.

Valerie: (She goes right up to Bela) You're a horrible man! I should have you reported to a lunatic asylum, never mind the police!

Bela: Try me.

Valerie: You asked for it, buster. (She smacks Bela over the head with her parasol...at the same time Emma wallops Abernathy over the head with her purse and Daphne jabs a guy with her camera tripod) X(

("She Hangs Out" begins as Abernathy is knocked out of his chair. The goons all swarm around Lauren as Max tip-toes away.)

(Valerie continues to whack Bela with her umbrella.)

(Emma goes to help Lauren, but a small hand waving out from under the pile of goons tells her she doesn't have to.)

(Daphne tries to set up the tripod to take pictures, but one of the goons knocks into her and breaks it! Daphne's not happy. That's good camera equipment! She smacks the guy with the remains of the tripod, knocking him across the garden and into a bed of roses!)

*Suddenly all of the goons surround Lauren go flying, some not on their own. Others simply run away.*

(The guys arrive just in time to see Lauren and Emma stomp over to Bela. Valerie still waves her parasol at him.)

Valerie: Give it up, Bela! Where's our gas?

Mike: (He joins them) Yeah, man. We called the cops. They're on their way.

Pa: (Waves his pitchfork in Bela's face) You dirty, side-windin' rattlesnake!

Bela: And why would I tell you?

Valerie: (Pokes him with the parasol) How would you like this down your throat?

Mike: (Shakes his fist) Or this? You know I'll do it. I'll do it for every kid you ever side-winded, every musician you ever swindled.

Emma: Swindled?

Mike: He used to run a music hall in New York. Told kids off the street he'd give them a chance, then swindled them out of their money and sent them on their backsides. (Growls) I was one of his first victims.

Peter: That's your past with Bela. You do know him.

Bela: *Smirks* Of course we know each other. I see you hold grudges, Michael.

Mike: I found out what you were doin' then...but your men broke my hand and ran me out of town! I still can't make a fist all the way!

(Emma grins at Daphne and points at a table behind Bela. Maybe it's time we got a picture of the villain himself...)

*Daphne nods.*

Mike: (As more thugs come out of nowhere) Can't you give it up, Bela? Where do you get these guys?

Peter: (Puts up the bow and arrow he took from the Indians) I know how to use this!

(Emma and Daphne duck behind the group. Daphne sets up her battered camera on the table behind them.)

Emma: Daph, I don't care if it actually takes a picture, as long as the shutter goes off! We need a distraction right now!

(Bela reaches for Mike as the thugs surround the rest of the group.)

*Bela aims to throttle Mike, when...*

Daphne: Say cheese!

*When Bela turns, Daphne snaps the picture, momentarily blinding him.*

(And giving Emma the chance to smack Bela over the head with her purse! He lets Mike go as the cops arrive.)

Emma: Arrest this man, Officer!

Mike: Yeah, he tried to sabotage our cars!

Valerie: Officers, we're the entrants from Babbitt Auto's Race. This man has been trying to sabotage our efforts.

Pa: (He and his crew holler their way into the garden) Well, looky what we found, just sittin' around his garage doin' nuthin'?

Kaleb: After we knocked two guys clean through a window to get to it.

Mike: (Takes a cannister) Our gas! Good work!

Pa: Aww, 'twernt nuthin'.

Police Officer: (He's a very, very large fellow with shaggy hair whose pinkish skin color almost doesn't seem natural) I thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You may continue on your journey to the Metropolis of Angels. My squadron and I will interrogate this tyrant.

Valerie: You're welcome, Officer. And now, we must finish the race!

Mike: Let's go, everyone!

(Cut to the beach...where the kids and the hillbillies get a very nasty surprise. Nothing but a pile of parts and wheels remain of the three vehicles. We hear Abernathy and Max snicker and see a cloud of black smoke coming from their car as they hurry off into the distance.)

Mike: No! NO! Our cars!

Pa: Why that no-good, yellow-bellied, two-timin' jackal!

Kaleb: Ain't nuthin' we can do now. We gonna lose the race sure!

Emma: Maybe not. (Turns to Lauren and Micky) Isn't there anything you two can do with these parts? You're our mechanical geniuses.

Peter: But we don't even know which part belongs to which car!

Emma: Maybe we don't have to.

Mike: What do you mean?

Emma: (Grins at Lauren and Micky) Why don't we combine our forces?

Mike: What do you mean?

Valerie: (She understands) We could use the best parts from each car and put them together as quickly as we can. That would be a real car racing challenge!

Emma: What do you say, you two? Micky? Lauren?

(The hillbillies are already trying to put their car back together.)

Mike: We don't seem to have much of a choice.

Emma: (Hands a part to Lauren) What do you say? I know you both worked hard on these cars. This must be a terrible blow for you.

Peter: Abernathy and Max will be getting to Los Angeles any minute!

*Micky and Lauren nod sadly. They head off to make...something.*

(Cut to Abernathy and Max on the road, with a street filled with a mix of Spanish-revival and Victorian buildings. Abernathy grins.)

Abernathy: I was brilliant, wasn't I, Max?

Max: Yeah, Boss! You dismantled their cars like they were nuthin'!

Abernathy: They WERE nothing. Now they're not even that. We'll win this for the Sir, even if he has to enjoy it in jail.

Max: Too bad. He's a real smart guy. Maybe he'll get loose.

Abernathy: I wouldn't be surprised. (Leans back) It's nice for the villain to win in one of these stories, isn't it? We can just lean back and coast the rest of the way to the finish line.

Max: (He looks behind him...and his eyes widen; he shakes Abernathy's shoulder) Um, Boss? Boss?

Abernathy: Max, what is it? Can't you see I'm coasting?

Max: Boss, I don't know how they did it, but...

(And "I'm a Believer" begins as Abernathy looks over his shoulder...and sees a most amazing vehicle barreling after them at top speed! It's the rudimentary bits of what might be a very large car. Micky and Lauren drive and pull levers. Emma's still trying to take notes. Mike leans out the duct-taped door, grinning.)

Valerie: (Holds onto the parasols that are making rudimentary tops) Ok Lauren, step on it!

(The car speeds ahead...but Abernathy smirks and starts throwing pies in their direction.)

Peter: (Ducks) Micky, watch out!

(Emma and Valerie grab the parasols and use them to block the pies as Micky drives around them.)

(Max sticks his tongue out at Lauren and throws a pie at her...before ducking.)

(Emma grabs a pie from a cart on the street and hands it to Lauren. Toss it at Max...and have fun.)

(Mike and Peter duck the oranges Abernathy now throws at them as they pass under an orange tree grove.)

*Lauren tosses the pie at Max and hits him square in the face.*

(Abernathy chortles at Max, who wipes the pie off his face.)

(The Monkees' "car" has been shedding parts during the entire romp. Mike's door falls off even as he leans out of it. Peter has to pull him back in.)

Mike: (Points to a sign and a huge crowd towards the end of the street) I think that's the finish line!

(Cut to the finish line. Barbara Marion stands in a simple yellow gown and large plumed hat. What looks like Mr. Babbitt is with her, only he has darker hair and wears glasses.)

Babbitt's Cousin: (Sounds a little higher-pitched; otherwise, it's definitely Babbitt) They should be here any minute, Mrs. Marion.

Mrs. Marion: You said that two days ago, Mr. Blaunner. Your cousin called after I arrived on the train and said they'd be here then. They're still not here. I'm beginning to think some misfortune has befallen them. I...

Mr. Blaunner: (As the crowd goes wild) There they are!

(And the cars - or what's left of the Monkees' car - come careening around the corner! One minute, we see the Monkees ahead, the next, Abernathy and Max. Both cars seem to make it across the finish line as Blaunner lowers a green flag. The moment the Monkees' car gets through the line...it falls apart, leaving all eight of its occupants sitting on the ground. Micky still holds the steering wheel.)

Mrs. Marion: Valerie! Girls! (She runs over to them and hugs Valerie) Are you all right?

Emma: Ask us tomorrow, when our rear ends feel better.

Mrs. Marion: Lauren, what happened to your car?

*Lauren just waves it off, too distraught to answer.*

Emma: (Points to Abernathy and Max, who are trying to get out of their car without falling out of it) They destroyed it. Not only our car, but the guys' car and the car that belonged to those nice hillbillies who were a big help. They're still back at Bela's grotto, trying to fix their car. We're going to go back and help them after I get my story.

Mrs. Marion: (Nods) I have your stories, and we talked to Captain Logan in Michigan and Sheriff Sundance in Oklahoma. They - and the Kaneeopee Indians who are apparently friends with one of those young men - are more than willing to back your story about Bela's attempt to sabotage the race.

(Mike and Micky are already talking to Mr. Blaunner and several police officers. Three more, including one with a large star badge who looks like the Chief of Police, drag Abernathy and Max from their car.)

Mr. Blaunner: (As the Chief pulls the duo over to them) Are these the villains who sabotaged your vehicles and tried to ruin this race?

Mike: Mick and Lauren, these were your cars. You recognize these guys?

Emma: (Smirks) The little one has harassed Lauren non-stop this entire trip!

Micky and Lauren: *In unison* That's them.

(Max takes one look at Lauren and tries to run away.)

*Lauren nonchalantly grabs the back of his jacket to keep him from running away.*

Mr. Blaunner: (He gets on a box) The Magnificent Abernathy and Max are disqualified for cheating and sabotage!

Mike: Yeah, they did it to everyone else in this race, too. Those black guys are still back in Oklahoma, and most everyone else didn't even make it to Albany.

Abernathy: No! This can't be happening!

Max: (Looks at Lauren) Don't hurt me too bad! I'll state evidence! I'll tell you everything! Even what I had for breakfast this morning!

Abernathy: Max, you coward! (He tries to lunge for Max, but the police officers lead them away)

Mr. Blaunner: (He goes up to Micky and Lauren) You know, that was an interesting vehicle you had their, kids. Also the ugliest thing I ever saw in my life. How did you make it run?

Micky: Don't ask.

Mr. Blaunner: Oh, but I want to know! (He puts an arm around both) That was a great design! I've never seen anyone do so much with so little. Why don't you tell me all about it? If you can do that with just duct tape, spit, and metal, imagine what you could do with some real parts?

Emma: (Grins and whips out her pad) Now this is a story!

Mike: (He pulls the pad away and tosses it on the ground) Forget it, darlin'. Let them live their dream.

Emma: But I have to write this story!

Mike: If you're gonna write a story, (grins) let me in on it. It looks like we're gonna be comin' into some money, anyway. All of us. I could start my own car company. Maybe even get back into music. Hey, I could buy a newspaper just for you to write on. What do you say?

Emma: I say... (takes his hand) ...that I love you. (Mike pulls her into a deep kiss as we move to Valerie and Peter. Valerie points to Davy and Daphne, who are already kissing passionately next to the podium; Daphne wears the rose-laden winner's circle, while Davy holds the trophy.)

Valerie: (Sighs) What a romantic ending!

Peter: I guess it just leaves me to say... (he takes her hands) ...um, that I...um...uh...

Valerie: Oh, forget it. (She grabs him and kisses him) I love you, Peter Torkleson.

Peter: Uh-huh.

(We fade out on Peter and Valerie...and fade in on the Montgomery House Ballroom. Emma, Valerie, and Daphne sit at a table. Everyone else is scattered around the ballroom, asleep. The sun just comes up over the horizon in the windows.)

Emma: ...The end. (Grins) Well ladies, that didn't come out too badly.

Valerie: Shame the others didn't stay up for the big finale.

(That's when the patter of little feet are heard. Katie and Lizzie run into the ballroom, both in their pajamas. Katie rubs her eyes.)

Katie: Oh! Hi, Mama! Mornin'! You still up?

(Lizzie climbs into her ma's lap.)

Emma: (Yawns) No, I think we'll go take a nap for a while. Right, Daph?

Daphne: A long nap.

Valerie: We'll leave everyone else alone. They REALLY need their naps.

Katie: (Waves to her sleeping father) Night-night, Papa!

Emma: (Blows a kiss for Mike) Night, Baby.

Lizzie: (Waves to her father) Night, Da!

*Daphne blows a kiss for Davy.*

(All five head out as we fade out on the lightly snoring group in the ballroom.)