Everyone ready for a telethon? ;)

Mike: Not really.

Peter: It'll be fun, Mike! I'm ready! :)

Micky: I'm ready! :D

Davy: Me, too. :)

(We open with the guys in a small, slightly dilapidated dressing room. All four wear their vaudeville costumes from the "Cuddly Toy" video in the original Monkees show. Mike plucks his guitar, grumbling.)

Mike: How did we get talked into this?

Peter: It's for a wonderful cause, Mike! All the proceeds from tonight's program will go to help starving children in Africa and Asia.

Micky: Besides, it's FUN! :D

Mike: Fun for you, maybe, Mr. Energy. You do realize we're going to have to be here, in this studio, for thirty-six hours.

Micky: And the downside is...

Davy: 'Anging around you for a day and a half, mate.

Micky: Very nice, Dave.

Davy: Anytime, Mick.

Peter: Guys, come on! We're on in five minutes! (Smiles) That was a great idea Liza Martin had to open the show, a "through the years" medley of songs and songs that sound like they're from the eras. (Smiles) We even get to go first and do 1913!

Mike: That part, I don't mind. Doin' history's kinda cool.

Young Man: (A young red-headed man with freckles and huge glasses pokes his head in) Monkees, you're on in five minutes!

Peter: Thanks, Steve. We're coming.

Steve: And if there's anything you need, anything at all, just ask me. I'm the go-fer here, so...

Mike: If you're a gopher, could you bury your way outta here?

Steve: No, that's not it at all...

Peter: Thanks, Steve. We really appreciate it.

Steve: You're welcome! (He heads out)

Micky: A gopher...

Mike: (Rolls his eyes) That's the fifth time in the last hour he's asked us if we want anything!

Peter: He's just excited. John Libby says he's new.

Micky: *shrugs* I like him.

Peter: I do, too.

Davy: 'E's a good kid.

Mike: (Sighs) Well, come on, guys. Let's get out there, before poor ol' Libby passes out.

(Cut to the front stage. The audience is packed. Searchlights glide around the stage.)

Announcer: Welcome to the 24th Annual KLAC Telethon! This year, we'll be benefiting needy children in Africa and Asia, so get all your calls in! Over the next two days, we'll be presenting a star-studded line-up of favorite celebrity guest-stars from Hollywood! And now, the host of our Telethon, here's KLAC personality Arthur Rupert, host of Arthur Rupert's Wine and Song Hour!

(Arthur Rupert enters from stage left in a fancy tuxedo.)

Arthur Rupert: (He still looks more-or-less like he did in "Variety Is The Spice Of Christmas" with a few more wrinkles) Hey there, Los Angelas County! It's great to be here tonight! I've got to tell you folks, we have a great line-up for you tonight, presenting our theme, "Changing Times, Changing Music!"

(Cut to the backstage as Arthur Rupert tells jokes. The Monkees hustle into position behind their instruments; Davy stands on stage, ready to dance. He's joined by Angelina Druddard, the dancer who had worked on the Christmas special, in a shorter version of a frilly frock of 1913, complete with picture hat, high-button boots, and parasol.)

John Libby: You boys all ready for your number?

Mike: Yeah.

Micky: You bet!

Davy: Lets get started!

John Libby: You'll have time to change, then come back out for the 20s ensemble number, and then we won't need you until the "Brother Can You Spare A Dime" number around midnight, then you man the phones until six, and after that you...

(John's babbled on for so long, he hasn't realized the curtain has opened, revealing the Monkees on a set similar to the one used for the "Cuddly Toy" number on the original Monkees show. John Libby stares at the stage like a deer caught in headlights as he turns to face the audience.)

Arthur Rupert: (Turns to the Monkees; rolls his eyes slightly at John) Don't mind Mr. Libby, folks, he's confused because he just wandered in from 1973. (As he grabs John's arm) And here they are, one of vaudeville's most popular acts, The Monkees Orchestra!

(Arthur drags John offstage as "Cuddly Toy" begins. It's pretty similar to the version on the show where Davy dances with the girl, only Angelina is in more period-appropriate attire and ends up on his knee.)

John Libby: (As the curtain clears and the stagehands begin moving the set) That was great, guys! Ok, we'll need Prissy Green, Arthur Rupert, and members of the soap opera "The Light Of Our Love" for the World War I skit. You boys go get dressed and relax.

Marion: (She wears a tight-fitting gown and a huge feather boa and looks something like a black Mae West) Mr. Rupert? Mr. Rupert?

Arthur: (As he emerges in a tight-fitting World War I uniform) I'm Mr. Rupert.

Marion: (Grins) I have a letter for you.

Arthur: You do? Fan mail?

Marion: No, a (hands him a giant cardboard A) LETTER!

Arthur: (Groans) Ha ha, Marion, very funny. (He tosses the letter over his shoulder and heads for the stage)

Marion: Man doesn't know how to live. (Turns to Nyles and Jack, both of whom stand behind her, wearing headsets) Hey, that was really cute! You guys sure know your practical jokes!

Jack: *grins* We've had lots of practice.

Nyles: You think THAT was something...

Marion: Got any more?

(Cut back to the backstage area. Everyone's bustling. The boys come back in pastel-colored suits, their hair slicked back, Micky's as well as possible. Angelina Druddard and several dancers, male and female, hurry off the stage.)

Arthur Rupert: (Onstage) And that was Angelina Druddard and her Dance Troupe, demonstrating one of the dances that put the roar in "Roaring 20s," the Charleston! Give 'em a big hand, folks! (There is a hand, but it's not quite as large as it was before.)

John Libby: (Yawns slightly) You and the Westminster Abbies are on next, doing "Tea For Two," then will join the Four Martians...where DO they get these names?...for "Brother Can You Spare A Dime," then will go on the telephones...

Mike: (Slight yawn) Man, we know, we know.

Micky: What?

Nyles: *goes to the guys* Change? Anybody got any change?

Micky: I've got some change, man. *digs in his pocket* Why're you looking for change, anyway? *holds out a handful of coins*

Nyles: *digs through the change, adding it as he goes* Ninety, ninety-five...one dollar. Here ya go, Mick. *puts a folded dollar bill in Micky's hand to replace the coins* Thanks, man. *walks back over to Jack, who's shaking his head*

Micky: What... *puts the dollar and the rest of his change in his pocket and closes his dropped jaw*

*Davy laughs.*

(Peter laughs. Mike rolls his eyes.)

Marion: (Joining them) Hey, that was a good one!

Kimberly: What was a good one? (She and the other Abbies, including Daphne, appear dressed in pastel flapper-style outfits, with cloche hats, strappy shoes, and short, flouncy skirts.)

Peter: Nyles just did a really cute joke!

Davy: It 'ad to be! Mick were speechless!

Marion: I just love runnin' gags.

Micky: He...I... *pauses, makes a face* Tell me when we're going on. *walks away*

*Davy laughs again.*

(Peter does, too. Mike chuckles a little at the expression on Mick's face.)

Steve: (Pokes his head in) Hey, you guys are on!

Mike: (Grins) Come on, guys. Let's go out there, before this runnin' gag hits the punchline.

(Cut to onstage. The curtain opens to reveal a park, complete with bench and fake trees. Prissy, in a longer gown with fuller sleeves, bobs across the stage leading a real poodle on a leash. Behind her are the four Abbies, far peppier and more attentive.)

(Arthur Rupert, wearing a darker, old-fashioned suit, and the four boys come in from the opposite direction. The four Monkees whistle appreciatively at the blushing Abbies, ignoring Arthur's attempts at shushing them.)

Prissy: (Sticks her nose in the air) Well, I NEVER! Come along, girls! We must return home for a nice, quiet, DIGNIFIED tea! (She and the dog prance off, but the girls don't follow. They stay as the boys sing "Tea For Two" to them instead, each boy taking another verse.)

(Prissy returns to scold the girls, but Arthur sings to her, and they end up joining the song and dance as everyone finally prances off as the song finishes.)

John Libby: (He's frantic) That was great! Have you seen the piano act that was supposed to be next? Where's the Juggling Borzoni Brothers? Arthur, go change quick! You're in the Stock Market Crash skit! Where's the dancers? Where... (He finally disappears in the back; we hear the sounds of someone tripping) WHOA! (Sounds of crashing)

John: I'm fine, I'm fine...I'm not moving. Um...help?

Jack: Oh, man, that was a nasty spill! Here... *helps him up* You okay, John?

*Nyles holds up a sign that reads "8.5".*

John: Yeah, I'm fine. Does anyone have any aspirin? Where's Liza Martin with the 50s rock skit? (He limps off to find Liza)

Kimberly: Um, if the poor guy can leave, he might want to have that knee checked out.

Prissy: He's been like that for days.

Arthur: The man is a walking ulcer.

Marion: Davy Jones? Is there a Davy Jones here?

Davy: I'm Davy Jones!

Marion: (Hands him a wire) Wire for you, son. (Walks off snickering)

Peter: Not bad. ;)

Mike: Older than dirt.

Arthur: Older than ME.

Prissy: Well, that goes without saying.

*Davy makes a face at the piece of wire he holds. Micky snorts through the hand covering his mouth.*

Liza: (She joins the group, wearing a very modern dress and low-heeled shoes) Has anyone seen John? I need to give him the scripts for the 50s skits.

Maxine: (Juts a thumb) If there's anything left of him, he went thata way.

Liza: Oh dear. All that worrying must be tiring him out. I'll find him.

(She walks off...and we hear crashing.)

Liza: Sorry!

(Cut to later. The boys are draped over the phones, wearing newsboy caps and sweaters. Arthur Rupert singing "Oh How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning" is heard in the background.)

Steve: Guys! (He runs onstage, carrying a Styrofoam holder with four steaming cups) Hey, Monkees?

Mike: (Jolts somewhat awake) Huh?

Peter: (Over his phone) Five more minutes, Val...

Steve: Guys, I have the tea and coffee you ordered! I made sure it was extra-strong!

Mike: Huh. That's nice.

*Micky yaks away on his phone.*

Davy: *turns away from Micky's gabbing* Anyone mind if I 'urt 'im?

Mike: Uh-uh.

Peter: No Val, I want my teddy bear...

Davy: *turns to Micky* Who are you talking to, Mick?!

Micky: *grins* It's Lauren.

Davy: *turns away again, putting his head in his hands* That explains it.

Mike: (Yawned) That's his wife, Steve.

Steve: How much is she donating?

Micky: Donating?

Steve: To the telethon!

Mike: Mick, John said not to use the calls for personal stuff...

Micky: She called ME!

(Peter finally falls off his phone and onto the floor.)

Steve: Is he ok?

Mike: Uh, yeah.

Micky: Lauren says she'll donate $50.

Micky: Wait, what? Babe, you're donating my comic book allowance for the month!? *whines Baaaaaabe!

(Mike laughs.)

*Davy grins.*

Steve: You guys are on for the finale! The big 60s-70s dueling musical styles medley!

Mike: Now?

Steve: They can't reschedule it!

Mike: Fine, fine. We'll be there.

Micky: *he's finally hung up the phone* Come on, guys!

Davy: *tries to pick up Peter* Ugh.

Fellas, 'e's 'eaviah than I remembah.

Mike: (Grabs his coffee and slugs it; then) Let me help, Dave. (He gets up, but he's not exactly walking well himself and the three almost end up back on the ground)

Micky: *ready to go on stage* Would you guys come ON!? Geez!

Mike: Some of us don't have enough energy to fill every empty gas station in the US, Mick.

Peter: (Nods) Uh-huh. Val, can I have rye toast on wheat...

John: (He passes by on crutches, his foot in a cast) What's taking you guys? Everyone else is already out there!

Davy: We're comin'...maybe...

John: Let's GO, people! Come on! (He moves as fast as he can on one foot)

Mike: Ok. How about Mick helps me get Pete awake enough to hold his bass and Davy, you go tell them we'll be there in a second?

Davy: *nods* Okay, Mike, I'm on it. Slowly, but I'm on it! (He’s not "on it." He only moves a few inches before passing out, asleep.)

Micky: But I wanna go on again!

Mike: Help me get these guys up, THEN we'll go on again.

Steve: (Pokes his head in) One minute! The other bands are already on!

Micky: We? I've got my own number I wanna do!

Mike: Then you go on and do a number while we get ready!

*Micky heads for the stage, when he steps out he's changed from his regular clothes to a very nice tuxedo. He steps up to the microphone, smoothing his jacket. He gives a wide grin as the lights dim. Micky starts singing Rogers and Hammerstein’s "Some Enchanted Evening," giving any opera singer a run for their money!*

Mike: (In a brief cut back to the wings as he slaps Davy's cheeks lightly) If that don't wake people up, nothin' will.

*We cut back as Micky finishes. We see a brief shot of one person answering the phone, only to have a woman scream with glee, fawning over the number.*

Arthur: (He answered the phone) Yes, ma'am...you what? HOW much? (Looks at Mike) Does your buddy know anything else from "South Pacific?" You wouldn't believe how much this lady payin' for an encore!

Micky: *comes back stage, still in the tux* Well, how was that?

Arthur: Do you know any more? We got requests for an encore.

Mike: Don't tell him THAT! We'll never get him off the stage!

Peter: (Starts to raise his head) Huh?

Micky: Really? Of course I know more! :D

Mike: Pete! (He goes to his friend) You ok?

Peter: Do 'ya have any tea?

Micky: I know the perfect encore! *heads back out to the stage*

*Micky goes up to the microphone again, this time singing "Since I Fell For You."*

Mike: (Looks up as he helps Peter to his feet; Daphne and Maxine are working on Davy) Steve, find someone to get Micky off the stage. He'll never get off if someone don't physically drag him off. He loves to perform. He's the original baked ham.

Jack: *to Nyles* Got the hook?

Nyles: *holds up one hand, which turns out to be a hook instead of a hand* Of course, I've got it! I'm a little attached to it.

Jack: Where the heck did you get that?

Mike: (Who has his arm around Peter) What did you do to your hand?

Steve: Is that real?

Nyles: Huh? *pulls the hook off* Found it in the props.

*Jack slaps his forehead.*

Nyles: *shrugs* What?

Steve: Oh boy. Come on, guys. He's almost finished this song, and I think he's about to do another one! We'll be here forever!

Jack: *sighs* Come on, Ny, lets go get Mick before some woman melts into her phone while trying to donate!

Nyles: *nods* Okay.

*Jack and Nyles head onstage just as Micky finishes the song. He takes a bow and straightens...to find them on either side of him. He grins at them. They each grab an arm and physically carry him off stage, despite him flailing his arms and legs and yelling "Put me down!"*

(Steve's doubled over laughing; Arthur snickers over his phone.)

Mike: (Grins) Nice work, guys. Thanks. We owe you one.

*The guys finally put Micky down, but hold onto him.*

Jack: No problem, Mike.

Micky: No problem?! Come on, so what if I sing a few songs? I'm the only one here who's still awake enough to do anything!

*Nyles sticks a finger in his ear. Micky just yelled in it.*

John: (Hobbles in) You guys should be onstage already! (Looks down at Davy, Daphne, and Maxine) Is he ok?

Maxine: I think so. Just tired.

*Davy mutters something unintelligible in his sleep.*

Daphne: *shakes her head* I know what'll wake him.*plants a BIG kiss right on Davy's lips*

Davy: *eyes open wide* Wot a wondahful dream!

*Daphne laughs, rolling her eyes.*

Mike: (Sees where Davy's looking - right down the shirt of Daphne's loose costume) Yeah, what a wonderful view.

Davy: Oh it is, it IS!

*Daphne blushes, then hugs Davy.*

John: Ok, I'm glad you love each other, but could we get out there, before we lose the two people eating breakfast in the audience and finish this telethon? (Peers at the stage and groans) Tell me that isn't Steve and his dancing noodles.

Micky: You could've have me out there singing!

John: GET OUT THERE! NOW!

Micky: Hear that, guys? Let me go!

Arthur: (From his phone) John, watch your blood pressure.

Mike: You can put him down now, guys. We're gonna need our drummer.

Nyles: We just wanted to make sure he didn't run back out there without you guys.

Mike: The others are up now. (Peter sags against Mike.) Sorta. We can handle him.

*Jack lets go of Micky, then slaps the back of Nyles's head. Nyles lets go and looks around for where the slap came from.*

Micky: *folds his arms* Finally.

John: Everybody out there!

Maxine: Come on. I think Jen and Kim are already there.

(Cut to backstage again. The guys are a simple but glittery space-y set behind the curtain. The girls are in front, singing "Different Drum." Mike tuns his guitar. Peter is slumped over his keyboard, yawning.)

*Micky is air drumming. Davy is staring at Daphne. Jack and Nyles stand guard.*

(John limps in as the girls go off.)

John: Ok, you guys are on. Steve fell asleep over his noodles. Marion's working on him.

Mike: (As the curtain opens; huge yawn) You guys ready?

(Peter just yawns.)

Micky: I've BEEN ready!

Davy: Yeah.

Marion: (On-stage) Thanks, girls, that was terrific. And now, our last act of the night, they're gonna give you one of their greatest hits...THE MONKEES!

(The half-full crowd goes wild as the curtain opens and the guys launch into the number. Mike and Peter both yawn and yawn. Peter's eyes close at one point, but Mike gently nudges him with his guitar, and he wakes up again.)

*Occasionally, Micky reaches forward with a drumstick to tap one of the guys on the shoulder to wake them.*

(Mike shakes Peter's shoulder when he begins to drift. He snaps up and grins weakly to the camera.)

(Mike leans against Micky's drums and closes his eyes for five seconds...)

*Micky crashes one of his cymbals, which is right next to Mike's head.*

(Mike nearly jumps right back to where he was.)

*Micky grins satisfactorily.*

(Peter starts to flop over the keyboard again. Mike plays a very loud chord right next to him, and once again, he snaps back to attention.)

*Micky glances at Davy, who's seemingly been staying awake...until Micky realizes he's propped himself up. Micky hits a loud downbeat on the bass drum and does a loud riff on the tom-toms, which makes Davy jump.*

Marion: (As the song ends) And that was the Monkees, folks! Let's give a big hand for them! (The guys bow...as well as they can...as the curtain closes.)

(Peter falls back on the floor the moment the curtain closes.)

Mike: (Yawns) Well, at least we got him to stand for the number.

Maxine: (Yawns) Tell me about it. Jenny's passed out in the dressing rooms, and she's like a rock. Kim's trying to get her up now.

Mike: Well, we made it. (Listens as Marian continues to finish the announcing)

*Davy slumps on the floor as well, out like a light.*

Marian: And we had an all-time record tonight, folks! We made over 500,000 dollars for various children's charities in the Southern California area! Let's give a big hand to everyone out there who called in with their donations!

Micky: Hear that?!

Maxine: (Sighs as John Libby, Jack, and Nyles joins them) I'm glad we did so well, but can we go home now?

Mike: Well, at least we had a good reason for the sleep deprivation. Some kid overseas won't have to go through what I did in Texas. (Massive yawn; his eyes are drooping)

Micky: *moves next to Mike* Go to sleep, Mike. *hands him a pillow*

Mike: Ok. (Grabs the pillow and lays his head on it as everyone laughs and we fade out)