Everyone ready to save each other? ;)

Heh heh. ;)

Lauren: Yes!

Micky: I am!

Davy: Wot the 'eck is going on? :P

Peter: We're comin' guys! :o

Valerie: But where are you? :p

Mike: Just get us outta here!

(We open with the three ladies wandering around a random hallway in the complex below the ghost town.)

Valerie: This place is the craziest maze I've ever seen!

Lauren: I can't make heads or tails of this place, and I'm usually pretty good with directions.

Daphne: I'm just following you two.

Valerie: (Closes her eyes) You know, for a while, Peter felt pretty distant. Like he was somewhere else. Now, he feels like he's close by again.

Lauren: *pauses* So does Mick. This is pretty weird, even for us.

Valerie: I wish we had a map of this place, before the devils find us.

*Lauren spots a door and motions for them to go in. They find demons scattered around the room, eating, sleeping, or playing.*

Valerie: (Groans) Oh great. I saw enough of this at the Hotel California in July.

Lauren: Oh, yuck.

Daphne: Lauren, these guys make Micky look like he has the best table manners in the universe!

Lauren: Thanks, I think.

Valerie: We still have our handmaiden robes. (Pulls up her hood; voice muffled under it) Maybe if we walk around like zombies and don't say anything, there won't be any problems.

Lauren: I hope so.

(The girls tip-toe around the demons as well as they can, but they keep getting knocked into by demons or having to duck thrown food or thrown slaves.)

Lauren: I’m REALLY starting to get annoyed with these demons.

Daphne: Let’s just find another door.

Demon 1: (Grabs Lauren) Hey you! Han'maid! Go get us more food!

Lauren: No way! Get it yourself!

Demon 2: (Grabs Daphne) I wanna 'nother toy! This one's no fun! (Tosses a slave over his shoulder)

Daphne: Hey! Let me go!

Demon 3: (Grins at Valerie) Hey, you pretty and tall for han'maid! Wanna see my toys?

Valerie: (Reels back from the demon) Um, how do I put this delicately? (Holds her nose) Your breath STINKS!

Demon 1: Waddaminute! Han'maids no talk!

Lauren: Who says?

Demon 2: Milady says! She say han'maids don't talk!

Daphne: And you believe everything she says?

Demon 2: Of course! She is our lady!

Demon 3: (Mutters) And she can turn us into cabbages if we don't.

Lauren: Cabbages? Are there any two-headed orgs around here?

Demon 2: Never heard of those. You sure you han'maids? They always bring us new toys!

Daphne: Fresh out, sorry!

Demon 3: (He pulls Lauren's hood off) You ain't a han'maid! You have hair, an' you too little!

Valerie: Hey, it's not nice to insult someone's height when you're not exactly tall yourself.

Lauren: LITTLE?!

Daphne: *groans* Uh oh. :P

Lauren: I'll give you LITTLE!

Demon 1: (Pulls Daphne's hood off) You no han'maid, too!

Daphne: Well, no kidding! :P

Valerie: (Pulls her hood down and makes her sword appear as the third one comes after her) Don't even bother, ugly. (As the demon tries to embrace her) God, you smell like rotting meat! When was the last time you had a bath? (She kicks the demon away as hard as she can...right into a group of other demons)

Demon 3: (As he picks himself up from the pile; over the music) What a woman! (Passes out)

("No Time" begins as the three women spread out and the demons chase after them.)

*Lauren beats up the demon who called her "little."*

(Valerie makes a running leap onto a table, which collapses onto a group of demons. She walks out from under them without a scratch.)

(The demon reaches for Valerie again. She hands him a roll of Wint-O-Green Lifesavers and walks away, holding her nose.)

*Lauren has a leg lock on the demon. The demon is pounding his fists on the ground and crying.*

(One of the demons hands Daphne a chicken leg...but she produces a box of fried chicken wings and barbecue sauce. They sit down together to enjoy their meal.)

*Lauren finally lets go of the demon and the others. All of the demons back off.* :P ;)

(Valerie joins Lauren, swishing her sword around. One of the demons comes up to her, claws extended. She does some impressive, fast moves around the demon. When the camera cuts back to him, his long, sharp claws have been whizzed off by the sword! He runs off screaming.)

*Daphne and the demon are now working on a tub of mashed potatoes.*

(Valerie grabs Daphne's eating partner on the shoulder as the music ends.)

Valerie: Ok pal, we want some answers, and we want them now.

Lauren: Or else!

Demon 4: Can we wait until after dinner? I'm not finished my biscuit!

Valerie: (Camera close-up on her sword in his face) Spill now, pal. Eat later.

Demon 4: Um, yeah.

Valerie: Your master and mistress brought two new slaves here earlier today, a young man with blond hair and another young man with dark, curly hair who looks like your master. Where are they now?

Demon 4: (Scratches his head as he thinks; suddenly, he gets a lightbulb) Oh, yeah, they ain't here anymore. They left!

Valerie: (Eyes widen) They escaped?

Lauren: What!? :-O

Demon 4: (Nods) But Milady says they're comin' back! (What he thinks is a conspiratorial whisper) Milady says their buddies are gonna come after them, and that means they'll come an' get THEM, the noodlebrains.

Lauren: Can I beat him up, please!?

Valerie: (Moves aside and pulls up Daphne by her arm; she's eating cole slaw) Be my guest.

Lauren: Thank you!

*Lauren dives at the demon. There's a large cloud of dusting covering them. When it clears, Lauren sits on the now unconscious demon.*

Valerie: Enjoy yourself, dear?

Lauren: Very much so, yes.

Valerie: Good. Maybe we'd better contact the other two and tell them that the guys are safe...and are more than likely coming after US. (Makes a face) And the damn devils know it. :p

Daphne: Let’s see if we can get out of here before they get any farther than just knowing about it.

Valerie: Daphne, you contact your husband. I'll contact Mike.

Daphne: Right! I... *groans suddenly*

Valerie: Daph, are you ok?

Daphne: I think we've got a problem.

Lauren: *frowns* Don't tell us...

Daphne: *nods* I think they at least found Davy.

Valerie: Damn. Is he nearby?

Daphne: Yeah, he is.

Valerie: Lead us to him! We'll just have to hope that we run into Peter and Micky on the way. :p

(The girls follow Daph upstairs as we fade out on them. Fade in on the hazy, dusty main street of the ghost town as the MonkeeMobile turns down the road. Micky and Peter wear their "Mission: Ridiculous" outfits.)

Peter: (Voice-over narration) Gathering what little remained of our team, the Panther Man and I, the Connecticut Counter-Spy, traveled to the hide-out of the notorious Devil Woman and her confederate the Dark Panther. We were accompanied by our beloved mentor and tricked-out vehicle, Ursula, who is always ready with advice, words of reason, and a gentle hand...um, tire...when in need.

Ursula: (Groans) Micky, did you have to drive so fast? I think I have an engine ache.

Micky: Sorry Urse, but time is of the essence!

Peter: (Voice over) The Panther Man is my leg-man and mechanical genius on this mission. His mind is a steel trap, and his gadgets are legendary in their abilities to explode when necessary.

*Micky tinkers with a small device that blows up in his face.*

Micky: Oops. :P

Peter: The Connecticut Counter-Spy (turns to the camera with a big grin and says out loud) that's me - (return to voice over) is the leader of this expedition, with the Towering Texan already in the Devil Woman's clutches and the New Jersey Jungle Girl with child. He's a brilliant musician, a quick thinker, and nobody out shoots him with a bow and arrow. (Grabs said bow-and-arrow and shoots. Two apples fall into the Monkeemobile; Peter turns to Micky and says out loud) Want an apple, Mick?

Micky: Sure, Pete, thanks! :D

Ursula: Thank you for the flattering introduction, but if we're quite finished, could we find my sister now? It's getting late.

Micky: She's got a point, Peter.

Peter: Well, where should we begin?

Ursula: Micky, did you bring that radar with you? The one Lauren used a few months ago to find you and the other male Guardians in the desert?

Micky: Yeah, I've got it right here.

Peter: Good. Flip it on, Panther Man, and let's see where the devils are hiding our comrades!

Micky: *turns it on* Okay, let’s see...

Ursula: I know my sister is aboveground. (Grumbles) And entirely too satisfied with herself.

Peter: That's not good.

Micky: *groans* Great. *points* To the right, Urse.

Ursula: Very well. (She pulls right, going down a street that branches off the main one. She stops at the very end, next to a large, barn-like building that says "Blacksmith" in big red letters on top.)

Micky: This is it. The radar's going crazy!

Ursula: Lovely. A blacksmith's shop. This is the perfect place for those two. I'm sure Alex has found lots of toys among the old fire irons.

Peter: (Ducks down in Ursula and pulls Micky with him) How are we going to get in there without being obvious? I don't want to get caught again!

Micky: I have the perfect idea, Pete. *picks up what looks like an aerosol spray; models it, then holds it next to his face, grinning* Invisible spray.

Peter: You're kidding?

Ursula: Oh my...

Micky: It really works! Just spray on, and it washes off no problem when you're done.

Ursula: Hmmm. What if you were ghosts?

Peter: (Gulps) Ghosts?

Ursula: Alex and Julia have lived here for how many years without seeing one little spectre?

Micky: You know, that's right!

Peter: I don't wanna see ghosts!

Ursula: You won't see ghosts, Bard. You'll BE the ghosts.

Peter: WHAT?!

Micky: It's perfect, Pete!

Ursula: You'll fly around in the blacksmith's shop, distracting Julia and Alex long enough to distract them and allow the others to escape. (Audible smirk) I'll provide the special effects.

Peter: Well, I guess no one has any better ideas (grins) and it WOULD be fun to scare the heck out of Sheila and Alex.

Ursula: Good. Micky, start your sprayer.

Micky: Would you like to be invisible too, Urse?

Ursula: If you have enough to cover me.

Micky: Oh, sure! There's A LOT in this little can. Okay, everyone close your eyes and hold your breath. Urse, hold your carburetor!

*Micky sprays all over. The entire screen is soon covered by spray. When it clears, we don't see the guys or the car.*

Micky: *disembodied voice* Pretty groovy, huh?

Peter: (disembodied voice) Wow!

Ursula: (disem...uh, car-ed voice) My goodness, it worked!

Peter: (disembodied voice) Ok, let's go rescue our team!

Micky: Yeah!

(Cut to in the Blacksmith's shop. The huge room is dark and musty. The faded brick-colored walls are hung with groups of antique blacksmithing tools. Sheila and several handmaidens tie Mike to a carriage wheel on one end of the room. Alex and another group of handmaidens bind Davy to the blacksmith's anvil.)

*Alex goes to start a fire.*

Sheila: (Smirks) This was a wonderful idea, Alex. What a fun place to lure the rest of our Guardians out of hiding.

Alex: I thought it'd be very interesting.

(Mike struggles and growls angrily under his gag, trying to free himself.)

*Davy also struggles to get free.*

Sheila: (Kneels down to Mike’s level) Don't worry, my Knight. I won't let Alex fry you. I want to have fun with you tonight, and I can't do that if you're extra-crispy.

(Mike mutters what Sheila can do with her "fun.")

Alex: Now, now, that is no way to speak to a lady!

(Mike raises an eyebrow, snorts, and nods at Sheila. THAT'S a lady?)

Sheila: (Strokes Mike's cheek) You are so cute when you're angry!

(Mike growls and tries to push Sheila's hand away.)

Sheila: (Leaves Mike and goes to Davy) As for you, little Lordship, we won't cook you too much. Just enough for your fellow Guardians to surrender to us...including your wives.

*There's a strange, howling-type noise as the main door bangs open.*

Alex: What the...

Sheila: What was that? I thought there were no coyotes, road runners, OR Warner Brothers cartoons for miles in this part of the desert!

Alex: That's what I thought!

Sheila: (She looks out the door) There's no one there. Odd. (Looks at Alex) I thought you said this "ghost town" was ghostly only in the sense it was abandoned.

(The handmaidens gather in a group, frightened.)

Alex: That’s what I was told!

*There's more ghostly sounds and the sounds of heavy breathing near Alex.*

Alex: *jumps away* This is WEIRD!

Sheila: Really, Alex, I know you want to take the Guardians back to the rec room, but could you please contain yourself until we capture the full set?

(Sheila jumps next, her hand on her rear.)

Alex: Well?

Sheila: ALEX! Really! Was slapping my behind necessary? Is that your idea of foreplay?

Alex: I didn't do it!

Sheila: Well, it certainly wasn't the handmaidens!

(Suddenly, Alex is whisked away into the rafters!)

Sheila: Alex, come down from there this instant! Not only do I need you down here, but the wire work on this is appalling.

Alex: LET ME DOWN!!!

*Alex moves to the side a little, over the hot irons. His eyes widen, then he just drops, landing right on the irons. He makes a very loud girly scream, jumping up and holding his smoldering rear.*

Sheila: Oh good grief. (Crosses her arms in annoyance) Are you quite done?

(Alex finally sits in a bucket of water. We see steam coming off his rear as he sighs in delight.)

Alex: Maaaaaann...

*There are more ghoulish noises.*

Sheila: Oh, this is getting absolutely ridiculous! (She goes to Davy and the fire) If whatever you are doesn't come out in five minutes, I will stoke this fire and melt the Lord of the Manor into a horseshoe nail!

("Magnolia Simms" begins as something picks up Sheila. We have more obvious wire work as it flies around the room, with Sheila screaming at the top of her lungs.

(Something knocks down four handmaiden at once...then gives us a blast of a car horn that sounds almost celebratory.)

(The thing holding Sheila carries her outside. She emerges a few moments later covered in hay and horse manure.)

*Alex is picked up as he removes himself from the bucket. He floats in mid-air, then is spun faster and faster. He flies into the wall and slumps to the floor, dizzy and dazed. There's a faint groan heard from where Alex was launched from.*

(Something invisible frees Mike from the wheel. He's startled when the invisible presence seems to hug him....but realizes who this really is. He smiles reassuringly, then pulls out his own sword and goes after the handmaidens.)

(Something attaches three handmaidens to a wall. Sheila inspects what appear to be invisible arrows.)

*Davy is freed next. He looks around, trying to figure out what's going on. He feels some pressure on one shoulder and what felt like a lot of hair brushing the side of his face. Davy makes a face, trying to figure out where he recognized the feeling from.*

(A trap door opens under several handmaidens. Daphne, Lauren, and Valerie burst from the door and into the barn, all three wielding weapons. Something immediately grabs Valerie and swings her around! She's startled...until the presence kisses her. She grabs what she can and kisses it back! Valerie pulls back as the presence goes to help Mike, who is surrounded by handmaidens. She looks at her hand...and part of it is invisible. She rubs what we can see of her hands together, and suddenly, they're visible again as the translucent flakes fall to the floor.)

*Lauren is dipped. She looks like she's kissing...something.*

(Mike looks to his left and right. Something helps him knock the handmaidens out, but he can't see what!

Sheila: That's enou... (Sheila finds herself thrown into the carriage of an invisible vehicle and whisked out of the blacksmith's shop!)

Mike: (As "Magnolia Simms" winds down) Would someone tell me what in the Sam Hill is goin' on around here?

Micky's Voice: We're just having a little fun.

Mike: Mick? Where ARE you?

Micky’s Voice: Right next to you. *puts his arm around his shoulders*

Mike: (Swings around but sees nothing) How...

Micky’s Voice: Hey... *there's a thump* Owww.

Lauren: *sighs* Mike! *moves next to him and feels around carefully*

Mike: (also feels around carefully) Sorry, man. (He and Lauren find Micky and haul up what looks like the outline of the drummer.)

Valerie: Hey, where's Alex?

Davy: *joins them* Against the wall, dazed.

Daphne: Just where he belongs.

(There's a splash and a scream, and a partially visible Ursula drives into the blacksmith's barn.)

Ursula: I found the town water tower and the large bucket under it and made sure my sister got a good soaking. (Sighs) However, she accidentally splashed me and took off part of the paint. She knows I'm here, at any rate, which means it's more than likely that she knows WE'RE here.

Micky’s Voice: Maybe we oughta cut out while we can...

Mike: Wait a minute. (He goes to a bucket of water kept in case of fires and throws it in the general direction of Micky and Peter, revealing where both boys are...or most of them)

Micky: Aw man...

Peter: Playing ghost was kinda groovy, man!

Valerie: I like it better when I can see you. (She gives Peter a huge hug; he hugs her back)

Peter: I missed you, honey.

Lauren: Me, too. *wraps her arms around Micky's waist*

Mike: (Puts a hand on Peter's shoulder) Buddy, I owe you one again.

Davy: *grins at Micky* And I owe you, mate.

Ursula: I'm glad you're all here now. We really have to take better care of each other. (More urgent) Use the rest of the water to wash me off so we can get moving. You may get a few questions on the highway if you drive to Malibu Beach in a partially visible car.

Valerie: True, and I don't think they'd believe we borrowed Wonder Woman's invisible jet, either.

(The entire group gathers enough water to get most of the paint off Ursula, enough that cops won't ask questions. They've just head out as a sopping wet, sputtering Sheila stumbles into the blacksmith's barn.)

Sheila: DAMN! DAMN! DAMN IT! That was my sister! I can't believe they got away! Alex!

Alex: *groans from his seat against the wall* Too loud...

Sheila: Alex, they're GONE! We almost had them, and they did it AGAIN! How do they keep outsmarting us?

Alex: My head... *moans, rubbing his head*

Sheila: They're becoming immune to our basic mind control spells. We've used them too often. (Growls) And there's the group. Every time we go after one or two of them, the others all come running. We need to think of a way to split the group.

*Alex finally gets up, but falls over again, still groaning.*

Sheila: (Thoughtful) Alex, do you know when that movie of theirs is coming out. It WAS supposed to be out this summer, but I haven't seen it...

Alex: *pulls himself up, leaning against the wall* November?

Sheila: Rumor has it that movie went quite a bit over budget. Seems no one could really get a proper script.

Alex: *rubs at his head again* What a headache...

Sheila: (Her eyes slowly brighten) We need to do quite a bit of work, but I think we could use this movie and the animosity it's causing between the Guardians to our advantage. Maybe you could elaborate on that machine you made. It hypnotized Tork. It may work on the others...and normal humans, too.

Alex: *glares at Sheila blankly* I have no idea what you're saying. *pauses* Is a phone ringing somewhere? *sticks a finger in one ear*

Sheila: (Sighs) Let's get inside. (Looks out a window at dark clouds gathering on the horizon) And we'll tell the girls to get everything indoors tied down and that we'll be downstairs in the complex for a while. That looks like a nasty storm brewing...

Alex: Don't walk too fast...

Sheila: (Shakes her head) Come on. (They head for the door as the camera cuts to footage of the MonkeeMobile heading back to Malibu Beach...and the brewing storm on the horizon.)