Everyone ready to finish our story?
Mike: After all that, I just need to relax.
Micky: I am.
Davy: So I might actually get to be in this part?
(We open in the same hallway of the riverboat. The camera travels slowly down the hall, picking up snatches of conversation.)
Mike: (Off-camera) Amazin', Mick. So, Alex and Zelda are on our side?
Micky: *also off-camera* Yeah. Who'd have thunk it?
Mike: How long do you think it'll last?
Micky: Maybe until Sheila offers them enough to lure them back?
Mike: Yeah. Neither of them have a real job, do they?
Micky: Not that I know of.
(The camera finally turns at a door that's slightly ajar. We follow the camera into what turns out to be a bathroom. Mike and Micky lay in two bathtubs on either side of the room, shaving and washing. Davy, who wears a large, fluffy robe, primps in front of a mirror.)
Bob: Hey, guys. How long have you been in here?
Mike: (Eyes widen; he jumps and grabs a towel to cover his private parts) Jeezus!
Micky: *laughs at Mike, then coughs, but still grinning* Long enough to start turning a little pruny.
Mike: What the HELL are you doin' in here?
Bob: Looking for the three of you.
Mike: Why? You couldn't wait until we were out to ask us questions?
Bert: You've been in here for over an hour!
Mike: (Mutters) We were hidin'.
Bob: Well, now that we're here, did you ever find out what happened to the rest of the money?
Mike: It's probably goin' into some safe deposit box at PPF.
Bert: How much did you manage to save?
Mike: I snuck fifty thou or so out before Sheila got it. Imagined it out. (Makes a face) She grabbed it before I could get the rest.
Bob: What are you going to do with the money?
Mike: I'm splittin' it with Lauren and Mick, since they entered the contest, too. My part is gonna be used to get that boat I was talkin' about.
Bob: How about you, Mick?
Micky: I don't know yet. I haven't decided.
Bert: What was your favorite part of this adventure, gentlemen?
Mike: Winnin' that tournament, whether I got the money or not. I still can't believe I did it.
Micky: Lasting in the game as long as I did.
Bob: And Davy?
Davy: Watching the kids.
Bob: Hey, how are they, anyway? Did you ever get that door open?
Mike: (Nods) Yeah. Sheila must have killed the spell after she left. When I came back after the tournament, it was open. Em was up feedin' Robbie and had just gotten Katie back to bed after she was up all night.
Bob: Is everyone's kids all right? How about the twins, Mick?
Micky: Oh, they're fine. Very little really bothers them.
Bert: What about Lester and the Sheriff?
Mike: He's in the brig, along with Sheriff Gardiner, who's keeping an eye on him until we can get him to shore. He'll join the rest of his boys on trial for kidnapping and robbery and likely in jail. (Frowns) He says Sheila hired him and his men, but she wasn't their main boss. She got her orders from someone else.
Bert: Who?
Mike: If I knew, I'd be slapping him back to California right now.
Bert: Anyone you've really pissed off recently, Mike?
Mike: Man, if I tried to figure out THAT list, we'd be here the rest of the night! (Winces as he shaves himself) Ouch! (Grabs a piece of tissue near the bathtub)
Bert: Lester said something about the "Big Boss" wanting to "tarnish the Knight's honor," or something like that...
Mike: (Frowns) Then whomever he is, he knows about us bein' Guardians. The only people who call us by that name are the few people who know about our abilities - Sheila, Alex, Zelda, an' the eight of us.
Bert: Mick, you got any ideas on this "Big Boss?
Micky: Not a clue. I'm completely baffled.
Davy: And that's different 'ow, Mick?
*Micky throws a sponge at Davy, who dodges it.*
(Mike snorts; the producers laugh outright.)
Bob: Guess you don't have any ideas either then, Dave.
Davy: None.
Bert: What are you gonna do when you get back to shore?
Mike: We're gonna spend a few days at Aunt Kate's, then head home. I wanna work on my cars and spend time with my family, an' we have the big opening of the Club Caprice comin' up.
Bert: How about the rest of you?
Davy: I'll be 'osting at the Club.
Micky: And I'll be doing the lighting and special effects.
Mike: I'm just gonna be watchin' the show with Em an' the other women.
Bert: Hey, has anyone heard from Peter, Valerie, and Jordan? Where were they during this story?
Mike: Stayin' at home, watchin' Jordan and tryin' to reconcile their marriage, or so Val told Em.
Bob: Was Val really serious about divorcing Peter?
Mike: I don't know. I thought she was, but...well, she really is crazy about him. I have no idea how he feels 'bout anythin' these days.
Bert: Has anyone seen or heard from him since he got back from prison? Mick? Davy?
Mike: I sure as hell haven't. Em's talked to Val and Jordan comes over from time to time, but we ain't seen Pete.
Micky: *shakes his head* Nothing.
Davy: Me, eithah.
Bert: This is really weird for Peter. No one's even seen him in the Valley much recently.
Mike: He's probably just busy with Val and workin' on his band.
Bob: Still, this isn't like him. I wonder if someone should try to get a hold of him when we get back.
Mike: Hey Mick, why don't you invite him over or somethin'? He'll talk to you. He's probably still mad at me.
Micky: Well, see, I've already tried. I called him last week. He said no, said he had things to do.
Mike: He always has "things to do" these days. (Sighs) You know, it’s gettin’ late. Maybe we ought to get out...
Female Voice: Mind if we cut in?
(Emma and Lauren enter. Emma wears her red dress from the carriage ride. Lauren wears her outfit from the tournament. Both carry guns...and smile huge, cat-ate-the-canary grins.)
Bert: Um, ladies, this is the men's room...
Emma: So?
Mike: Eeeemmmm....
Lauren: Please. This isn't the first men's room we've ever been in. Lots of events with too few bathrooms often end up with the men's room being shared.
Mike: Can't a man and his best pals get clean in peace?
Lauren: *peeks into Micky's tub; he grins* You guys are beyond clean.
Emma: (peeks into Mike's tub) We could eat off of you.
*Micky's grin falls. His cheeks flush.*
Mike: (Pulls the wet towel around him) Guys, it's bad enough Bob and Bert are in here!
Bert: Enjoying yourselves, ladies?
Emma: Immensely.
Lauren: Most definitely.
Mike: (Glares off-camera) Guys, you ain't helpin'!
Emma: You two are so much alike in so many ways.
Mike: (Peers over at Micky's tub) I can name one way we ain't alike.
Micky: *slumps down a bit* Hey, now! You don't see me taking a look at you!
Mike: Mine's covered.
Emma: I don't know WHY...
Bert: Hey ladies, where did you get the idea for this story?
Mike: Thank you for savin' us from further embarrassment. I've been embarrassed enough in this story.
Emma: (Sighs) I think this is one we came up with last summer when we watched the 1995 movie "Maverick" at Lauren's house on our last vacation together.
Lauren: We'll probably come up with another, but hopefully it won't take a year to get to.
Emma: This was little disjointed and a little long, but it generally came out well...not unlike the movie it's inspired by. (Grins) And while we're on the subject, I'd like to thank most of the cast of the film version of "Maverick" for their cameos, notably James Gardiner as our good Sheriff. Country music fans may recognize quite a few favorites, too.
Emma: (Turns to Lauren) And thanks to my best friend, the country music nut, for bringing in quite a few of those superstars.
Lauren: Well, I have to admit I'm more of a fan of the older country music. I actually like very few of the new acts.
Mike: I was impressed with the crowd this tournament brought in, too. Man, did you see some of those guys in the brawl?
Micky: Some of those guys really knew how to hit hard.
Lauren: We...well, I picked out more of the country rebels, though they all pretty much embody country music. Maybe we should rattle off who was who in case some of our descriptions were too general.
Emma: Ok, if my memory serves me correctly, we'd like to thank Tracy Lawrence, Alan Jackson, Clint Black, Dolly Pardon, Willie Nelson, Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus, Bonnie Raitt, and the late Roy Rogers and Dale Evans for their cameo appearances in the tournament and brawl scenes.
Lauren: And two of the hardest hitters were Travis Tritt and Marty Stuart. (Makes a face) And I offer no apologies to having Rascal Flatts thrown overboard. Sorry, guys, I just don't care for you.
Emma: (Grins at the blushing Micky and Mike) You know, you two are just so cute side-by-side like that. Two peas in a clean pod.
Mike: (Looks up) Davy, can't you help us out here? :p
Davy: And ruin the girls' fun? I think I'll go find Daph. *heads out*
Mike: (Yelling; throws a bar of soap after him) Damn it, you little runt! Come back here!
Emma: Now now, boys. We were just coming in to see if you were ready to eat dinner in the ballroom with the rest of us.
Lauren: Yeah, you guys can't tell us you aren't hungry. ;)
Mike: You had to come in here and tell us this?
Emma: You've been in here forever!
Lauren: You've gotta come out of the water soon, or else you guys won't be much good to us for a while.
Mike and Micky: (In unison) We will so!
Lauren: *peeks into Micky's tub again* Uh, no, no you won't.
Mike and Micky: (In unison again) GIRLS!
Emma: (She doubles over laughing) My god, you two really ARE alike!
Lauren: *chuckling* Get out of the tubs... *suddenly sobers and aims her water gun* or else.
Mike: Or else what?
Emma: We get rough with you.
Mike: I'm lookin' forward to it, darlin'.
Emma: (Looks at Lauren) They want it rough, huh? Lauren: That's what it sounded like to me.
Emma: Shall we get them?
Lauren: Let’s.
Mike: Now ladies...
Emma: (She "shoots" Mike...with water from her real-looking water gun) Ring any bells, dear? (She starts singing "Amazing Grace")
*Lauren starts singing "Amazing Grace" with Emma while "shooting" Micky with her water gun.*
Mike: (He finally jumps out of the tub, keeping the sopping wet towel around his private parts) Em! :p ;)
Micky: *reaches for a towel & wraps into around himself as he leaves his tub* Babe! :P ;)
Emma: Well, if you guys would learn to sing the RIGHT words...
(She chases Mike out, singing "Amazing Grace" all the way.)
Lauren: It seems that we're alone in here... ;)
Micky: It does appear that way, doesn't it?
Lauren: There's just one problem...
Micky: Problem?
Lauren: Yeah. I was serious about you being in the water too long.
Micky: *whines* Babe!
*Lauren starts singing "Amazing Grace" again as she heads out. Micky follows, whining the whole way.*
(And we cut from Lauren's rendition of "Amazing Grace" into "Michigan Blackhawk," which plays over stills from the "production" under the credits. We end with a shot of the three families, Alex, Zelda, and Sheriff Gardiner sitting and standing around the poker tables in the riverboat ballroom under the words "A Raybert Production.")