Everyone ready for a ride? ;)

Mike: Sure.

Micky: Yeah!

Davy: Sounds like fun.

(We open at a Victorian-era building on the edge of a park, surrounded by carriages and horse-drawn trolleys. Mike, Emma, Lauren, Davy, and Daphne enter the building. All wear cowboy hats and gear. Emma wears a red and white calico dress with a ruffled skirt.)

Mike: We're gonna hit the trail here. The carriage makes stops in other local towns.

Emma: I don't see how this is going to make you money.

Mike: It's not just the ride. It's what's at the end of it. I think I can get us a gig in Junctionville. Some old buddies of mine own a very popular local bar and grill. It's not the Club Caprice, but it's a pretty good size and should be relatively clean.

(As Mike goes to the ticket seller, Emma grabs Lauren's arm and points behind them.)

Emma: Look! Aren't those two rather familiar?

Lauren: *eyes widen* Can't be...

(Sheila and Nyles, both dressed in flashier cowboy clothes, talk to two carriage drivers in genuine 1880s cowboy costumes.)

Emma: I don't believe this. Tell me that isn't Nyles with Sheila.

Lauren: Okay, that isn't Nyles with Sheila.

Emma: Thanks. I needed that. (She goes to another ticket teller) Sir, who owns this building?

Teller: Well, the town does, really, but some fancy firm from California just fixed up the buildin' and the carriages and riverboats. Can't remember the name...PPP, PPF, somethin' long...

Emma: Thank you, sir. You've been very helpful. (Turns to Lauren) Guess who restored this building and the carriages and riverboat line?

Lauren: I'll take a guess that I don't WANT to know...

Emma: Our old friends Past, Present, and Future Inc.

Sheila: (Smirks) Hello there, ladies. What brings you here?

Lauren: I knew I didn't want to know.

Emma: (Narrows her eyes) Hello, Sheila. We could ask you the same thing.

Sheila: Why, I'm going for a nice, old-fashioned carriage ride. PPF did restore them, after all. I want to make sure they're in good shape.

Emma: Sure you do, and I'm Ann-Margaret. (Turns to Nyles) And what are YOU doing here?

Nyles: *shrugs* She invited me.

Emma: And you WENT with her? Nyles, you know what she is!

Sheila: Would you turn down a free vacation with a beautiful woman?

Nyles: I know I sure wouldn't!

Lauren: *shakes her head* There's no sense in trying to talk him out of anything dealing with whom he thinks is a beautiful woman.

Mike: (Growls as the others join Lauren and Emma; he has the tickets) Sheila, get outta here and away from my family.

Sheila: Now, now, Michael, is that any way to treat an old friend? I'm just here for a nice carriage ride, same as you.

Mike: No, you're not. You're up to somethin' ugly, as usual. (Eyes widen at Nyles) Ny, what are YOU doin' here? Where's Alex?

Sheila: Alex didn't want to come. He and Zelda were busy with...other pursuits.

Nyles: She invited me, man.

Sheila: Michael, these are MY carriages. I restored them. The town owns the terminal for the carriages and riverboats, but I own the vehicles.

Mike: Yeah, well, every time we run into you, you have a lot more in mind than a carriage ride.

Sheila: (Looks up at a large wooden clock on the wall in the ticket room) Well, if we don't move, no one will be going on a carriage ride. (She takes Nyles' arm) Ta ta, darling! I'll see you in Junctionville!

(As Sheila takes Nyles out to a carriage, Mike storms out of the building, following her. The others go after him. Mike grabs Sheila's arm as she and Nyles make their way to the line of carriages in the lot next to the building.)

Mike: Sheila, what if we raced you?

Sheila: Come again?

Mike: I know it's just supposed to be a leisurely ride and that we're not really supposed to race, but...what if our carriage raced your carriage?

Sheila: What if we raced part-way? The whole way may get rather bumpy. (Smirks again) Besides, I'm wouldn't want you to be too embarrassed when you lose.

Mike: Fine. We race to San Diablo. Winner nets $1,000.

Sheila: I thought you were famous rock stars who had that kind of money in their back pockets?

Mike: Well, we don't right now. So, how about it?

Sheila: (Her grin is ear-to-ear) I accept. (She shakes Mike's hand) We'll race to San Diablo. Whomever gets there first will win $1,000 out of PPF's purse.

Emma: (Frowns) I don't like this. I feel manipulated. Like this is what Sheila had in mind all along.

Daphne: It wouldn't surprise me.

Sheila: (Points in the direction of a carriage that's slightly more rickety than most of them...and a driver who is about five times older than any of the other drivers, or any other person, for that matter) There's your carriage now.

Mike: Oh man...

Micky: Oh, crap.

Emma: (She and Mike go to help the old man as he tries to get down from the carriage. Like the other drivers, he's dressed in an 1880s cowboy outfit...but like the rest of him, it's a bit older and more worn than the outfits the other drives wear) Sir, can we help you?

Driver: No thank you there, missy. I can do things just fine m'self. Been doin' things for m'sellf since 1914, an' I don't need help now.

Micky: *leans over to Lauren, whispers* Sounds more like 1814.

*Lauren rolls her eyes.*

Sheila: (The driver on her carriage wears a dark hood and opera cape that shields his face and body from the others; he helps her into the carriage) Thank you, sir. (She leans out of the carriage window) Are you quite ready?

Mike: (As they file into the car; to Micky) Mick, I don't care what this guy says, I want you to sit up front. He may end up fallin' off the damn carriage before the race is over.

Micky: Gladly.

Mike: (To Sheila) Yeah, we're ready.

Sheila: (As the other carriages leave) Ok everyone, on your marks....get set.... (She raises a gun in the air and shoots it off, which launches us into our next romp, "All the King's Horses.")

*Micky and the old man argue over the reigns.*

(Everyone bounces around as the carriages go full speed across the dusty Texas landscape, sometimes on marked trails, sometimes on unmarked prairies. Mike leans out of the carriage and sees that Sheila's ahead!)

(Emma concentrates. All four of the wheels on Sheila's carriage suddenly turn into candy and are attacked by prairie dogs. Sheila makes a face and concentrates; the wheels return to wood. The limited animation prairie dogs all grumble and mutter as they return to their homes.)

(Daphne and Davy kiss and smooch in the other seat, ignoring everything going on around them.)

*Micky and the driver are now playing tug of war with the reigns.*

(Sheila concentrates. Suddenly, a line of cactus grows in front of the Monkees' carriage!)

*Lauren does some quick concentrating and shrinks the cactus.*

(The carriage rides right over the cacti without too many problems.)

(Both carriages fly past a group of kids racing each other on tractors and blaring country music.)

(Mike leans out of the carriage to see where they are...and is almost bounced out of it when they go over some sharp rocks! He yells Spanish curses we can't hear over the music up at Micky and the driver.)

(Emma quickly reaches over and pulls him back in as they bounce over more rocks.)

*Micky yells apologies, then turns back around cringing.*

(Sheila smirks as they end up in an area surrounded by boulders and cacti. The carriages do their best to manage the twists and turns, but the Monkees' carriage can't keep up.)

(Mike gasps as the carriages skirt a gorge. That was too close. Emma leans out of the carriage and points; there's San Diablo up ahead!)

*Micky's sweating bullets. Meanwhile, the old man snores away.*

(Mike finally climbs into the front of the carriage with Micky as the girls keep a look-out. He takes the reins and gives them a sharp flick. The carriage jumps ahead of Sheila!)

(The carriages fly past a group of cowboys, who are so startled, they fall off their horses!)

(Now Micky and Mike play tug-of-war with the reins. Micky finally gets them away. They're still ahead of Sheila as they pull into the restored carriage area in the small town of San Diablo and the music ends.)

Mike: (As he climbs out of the carriage) We're here, Sheila, and we won. Pay up.

Sheila: (Sighs) It's annoying, but you did win fair and square. (She concentrates; bills appear in her hand) Here. You'd better deposit them in the nearest bank after you arrive at Junctionville. You wouldn't want bandits to steal your hard-earned winnings, after all.

Mike: Bandits? Give me a break, Sheila. This is 1974. The only bandits around here are on TV re-runs.

Sheila: We'll see, Michael. Have a nice trip. Perhaps we'll catch up with you in Junctionville.

Mike: (Growls) Or in Hell.

Sheila: I only wish. (She pats him on the cheek, then returns to the carriage. Mike goes to the four leaning out of the carriage door)

Emma: Mike, I don't like this. Sheila's plotting something.

Mike: I know, darlin'. I smell it all over her. There's somethin' ugly goin' on. I just wish I knew what.

Micky: She's always got something ugly going on.

Daphne: Maybe we'd better just keep going to Junctionville.

Mike: (Nods) Aunt Kate's bank has a branch there. We'll set up an account to keep the money for the tournament. That's where the gig is, too.

Emma: Under the circumstances, there isn't much else we can do until we find out what Sheila's after and where Alex is.

Mike: That's what worries me. (As he climbs into the front seat) Alex and Sheila are inseparable. There must be somethin' big goin' on if she's here and he ain't.

Micky: Big and NOT good.

Mike: Ok, Mick, take the reins. I'll get us to Junctionville. We'll wake the old guy when we're about half-way there. Shame to do it here. He looks like he needs the rest.

Micky: You got it. *takes over the reigns*

(The carriages leave again, this time with all of them joining the line. Mike and Micky trade off driving. Daphne and Davy cuddle on one seat. Emma and Lauren chat and admire the beautiful, arid western scenery in the other.)

Mike: (Looks at his watch) It's gettin' late. We should be in Junctionville soon. Do you wanna wake up the old cowhand over there, or should I?

Emma: (Pokes her head out of the window in the door) How's it coming up there, boys?

Micky: I'll wake him. *leans over and shakes the old man's shoulder* Hey Mister, we're almost to Junctionville. *continues to shake him* Must be a deep sleeper... *shakes him again* Hey, Mike? Maybe you could help me.

Mike: (Hands the reins back to Micky and shakes the old man) Hey, partner, I think it's time for you to be gettin' up. You've gotta finish the ride, man. (He frowns) Hey...

Emma: Mike, what is it?

Mike: Um, guys, I don't know how to tell you this... (Takes his wrist)

Micky: *makes a face* Then don't.

Emma: What do you mean?

Mike: Micky, stop the carriage. He's dead.

Emma: WHAT?!

Micky: I TOLD you not to tell me that!

(Micky finally stops the carriage. Everyone climbs out.)

Emma: I don't believe this. I just DON'T believe this!

Mike: (Turns to the other three) Guys...the driver's dead.

Micky: I touched a dead guy!

Mike: Mick, it ain't like he can breathe on ya!

Emma: What do we do now? I doubt there's a funeral home around for miles!

Lauren: And I doubt there's a porch we can leave him on. Not that I'd suggest we do that, anyway.

Emma: What can we do? We just can't leave him out here for the buzzards!

Mike: Maybe we could tie him to the top of the carriage...

Micky: Yes!

Lauren: Mick!

Emma: Mike, I can't believe you even suggested that!

Mike: Well, do you want him to ride with you?

Emma: Ugh.

Lauren: ...I'm not answering that...

Mike: (Thinks) Maybe we could have a funeral for him ourselves.

Emma: Mike, we didn't even know the guy!

Mike: You got any other ideas, 'sides strappin' the old guy to the hood? How would we explain it to the other carriages? This ain't exactly the kind of baggage you pick up on the road!

Micky: We don't have much of a choice.

Mike: (Looks left and right; they are absolutely alone on the road, except for a few birds flying overhead) Let's make this quick. We're runnin' out of time in this part. (He concentrates. There's a blue light around a square to the right side of the road. When it subsides, the square is six feet and there's dirt on the ground.) There. Now we can give the guy somethin' like a send-off.

Emma: Oh, for goodness' sakes! (She concentrates. There's a dark blue light around the man. When it subsides, he wears a suit and most of him is covered with a tarp)

Lauren: That's about as good as it's gonna get.

Mike: Ok, who wants to actually put him down there?

(Everyone just stares at the old man under the tarp for a few minutes.)

Davy: This is ridiculous. I'll do it. *concentrates--the old man is buried in the plot*

*Micky starts singing "Amazing Grace" even though he stumbles over the words.*

(Mike joins him, also getting the words wrong. Everyone finally joins in. Mike finishes it off. Emma adds a small wooden cross to the plot and a bouquet of roses.)

Emma: Maybe someone ought to say something?

Mike: What can we say, Em? He's dead!

Emma: This seems sacrilegious.

Mike: Em, we didn't know this guy. We buried him. We sang.

Micky: What do you want us to say? We think he was a good guy? We're pretty sure he's survived by family?

Emma: I'll do it. (She lowers her head; glares to the others around her get them to do the same) Oh blessed father, I'm afraid we didn't know this poor man well, but we're sure he was loved by his family and friends, and we hope he has arrived with you in heaven. He seemed like a nice fellow, and wasn't bad at his job, which is more than can be said for many others these days.

(Mike harrumphs, but says nothing.)

Emma: We're sorry for the quick funeral, but this is the best we could do at the present time. We'll alert a funeral home to his location when we arrive in Junctionville.

Mike: Amen. Ok guys, let's get back in the saddle and get a move on if we want to catch up with the other carriages.

Emma: I hope we don't get blasted or something for this.

Mike: (As he and Micky help the others into the carriage) I think God realizes we're kinda limited out here, darlin'.

(Mike and Micky climb into the front of the carriage. Mike takes the reins this time. The moment the door closes, they head off after the rest of the carriage line as the camera fades out on the desert landscape and the last resting place of the driver.)