Ok, everyone ready to see what's going on with this poor movie?

Mike: Let's help these guys while there's still a movie LEFT. :p

Davy: Right, mate.

Peter: I feel really bad for them. They just want to make a movie! :(

Micky: Instead, it's looking more like a massacre. :P

*Lauren mutters something about her clothes.* :P ;)

(Fade in on later in the afternoon. Jack leads the now rather tired group across the studio. People in various costumes, from elaborate period gowns and suits to clown outfits to skimpy showgirl outfits, pass by.)

Jack: I'm going to take you guys to the set of "The Mammoth Revue," mostly to see if there's anything left.

Mike: (Yawns a bit) Man, I'm bushed! How do you guys manage running from one production to another? One minute, we're doin' "Runnin' Wild," and the next, "The Varsity Drag!"

Jack: (Shrugs) That's how the picture business goes. We have to get these pictures out quickly to beat the competition, especially right now. The other studios are all putting out major musicals, too.

Micky: *bounces slightly on his heels* I don't know, Mike, I'm still feeling pretty good. *grins* ;)

Lauren: *flatly* You would, Mick. :P

Jack: (Grins at Micky) You ever think of doing some acting or directing, kid? You've sure got the energy for it. ;)

Micky: I'd love to direct! *shrugs* No camera, though. :P

Davy: I wondah if this is such a good idea. :P ;)

*Micky glares at Davy, briefly.* :P

Jack: At the rate this film is going, you may end up doing the directing, kid. Curt is doing his best, but...well, you'll see. (He opens the door...and enters total chaos. Chorines with pea-green faces and peach floral tutus run around, screaming and wailing. One short, curvy brunette is arguing with a small, tough-looking older man. A tall, dainty blonde is sobbing next to her. Another brunette, this one older, helps several men lift large pieces of what was once probably intended to be a woodsy-set.)

Curt: (French accent) Non, Madamoiselle White, the show cannot go on! We have no set, and the chorines cannot appear in the shots like that! (Indicates the wailing, screaming girls.)

Brunette: It'll wash off! Besides, that green will look nice in Technicolor. ;)

Curt: Yes, but how will we explain it?

Lauren: *mutters* Oh, brother. :P

Brunette: They're the centers of the peach blossoms!

Blonde: Rosie, please....

Curt: I cannot film with no sets and no dancers!

Mike: Excuse me...

(Curt and Rosie continue screaming at each other. The chorines continue wailing. The cameramen who aren't helping with the remains of the set play cards.)

Mike: Ok, that's it. (He gets on top of the remains of a tree stump and lets loose with a piercing whistle, which gets everyone's attention, including Curt’s and Rosie's.) Would someone PLEASE tell us what's goin' on, for cryin' out loud?

*Micky sticks a finger in one ear and wiggles it, making a face.* :P ;)

Rosie: We come in to shoot the "Romance in the Garden" ballet number and find half the set looking like an unfinished puzzle!

Blonde: (Sobs harder) Then...the girls run in...their faces are all green...looks terrible.... :((

Chorus Girl 1: We don't know what happened!

Chorus Girl 2: We just put on our make-up and ended up looking like pea soup!

Curt: Ladies, si vous plait, please go wash your faces. We will no longer be needing you today. (Turns to Jack as the girls hurry off to the dressing trailers) This is horrible! Yet another number we cannot film!

Peter: (Puts his hand on the surprised director; frowns) I feel so bad for you, Mr. Del Mar. You're so frustrated. You really want this show to work, but everything keeps going wrong.

Curt: (Frowns, nodding) Yes, that is true. How did you know?

Peter: I...know...how people are feeling. (Quietly) You feel responsible for the film, now that you've taken it over, don't you?

Curt: (Nods) I must make it work. The studio...they think all I do is sob boo-hoo stories, about history and events. I would like to show them I can make lighter stories work, too. It is just... (he indicates the destroyed set) this is no story. This is music hall. (Gulps) And right now, it is nothing.

Peter: We don't want to see anyone hurt!

Blonde: (Sobs) I don't, either!

Rosie: (To the blonde; pats her on the back) It'll be ok, Sarah. (To Curt) Ain't there ANYTHING we can do to make this work?

Other brunette: (Joins them; she's the big comedianne from "Hollywood Nights") Yeah. Find the guys who did this and give them a knuckle sandwich. (Cracks her knuckles for emphasis) ;)

Lauren: *grins* I like her. ;)

Other Brunette: Thanks, kid. Name's Cora Munroe. I WAS going to stumble through this half-way Fanny Brice-style, but I guess someone desperately didn't want to see me in a tutu. ;)

Rosie: If I'd known that was the reason, I woulda helped them. ;)

Sarah: (Nudges her sister) Rosie!

Rosie: We weren't dancing, either, or even wearing tutus. We were just supposed to be singin'.

Peter: I guess we were going to do the playing.

Daphne: I wanted to play! Can I join in on handing out knuckle sandwiches? ;) :P X-(

Sarah: Are you guys musicians? (Grins) You MUST meet my boyfriend Nick Ralstoff and his brother Irwin! They're the best musicians in Hollywood! This is going to be their second movie...and our first appearance in a major feature-length movie! :D

Cora: (Grins) More the merrier, kiddo. ;) :D

Rosie: Nick plays the piano, but what they really are is songwriters. They're doing four songs for this production, including this one.

Mike: Isn't there anything we can do to save this production?

Cora: I say we find Big Eddie, take a leaf from the Keystone Cops, and give him a pie in the face. ;) :p

Lauren: Yeah! ;) :P

Rosie: Or send him on a long ride offa short pier. ;)

(Two more young men hurry in. They're both slender, dark-haired, and fair skinned. One has a big, sweet smile and hair that loosely curls around his suit collar. The other has slicked-back hair, wears glasses, and doesn't smile.)

Sarah: Nick! (Runs to him and hugs him) Oh, Nicky, it's awful! Someone destroyed the set and turned the chorus girls' faces green!

Nick: Oh, God. Not MORE sabotage? This is terrible! Why do they keep doing this to us?

Emma: I don't know, but I think it's time we found out.

Micky: Before something ELSE happens. :P

Head Cameraman: (Looks at his watch) When do you think Mr. Lyman will be finished with his conference with Big Eddie?

Curt: (Looks at his watch) Just about now, I suppose.

Mike: (grins) You mean, the gangsters are here? Where we can get at them?

Cora: Good. I wanna cause some damage. ;) :D

Rosie: Right behind you, Cora. ;)

Daphne: Me, too! X-( ;)

Lauren: And me! :P

Sarah: (Takes her sister's arm) Rosie, what if you get hurt? Those guys aren't weeping willows!

Nick: (Grins at the fire in Rosie's eyes) Right now, I'd be more worried about what your sister will do to Big Eddie, rather than what she may do to him. ;)

Irwin: (Quietly) You're a fool to cross Big Eddie, Rosamond. He will hurt you.

Nick: Irwin, stop the doom-and-gloom.

Rosie: (Steps up to Irwin) You're such a wet rag! Why don't you go some place where they ENJOY having their parades rained on? Preferably NOT here?

(Irwin just shrugs and walks off. Nick watches after him, clearly concerned, as Sarah snuggles into his chest.)

Mike: (Grins) Why don't we show this Big Eddie that we're not going to abandon this movie without a fight? ;)

Micky: Would LOVE to! ;)

Camerman: (Grins) I love a good fight scene. (Nods) Oh, and my name is Willie Mitzer. I've been working with Mr. Del Mar for fifteen years, since we both started shooting three-reel dramas in New York for Biograph. (Nods at the men and few women behind him) That's my crew. They like a good fight, too, even the Doras. ;)

Peter: (Gulps) Do you think this is a good idea?

Valerie: (Looks at Peter) You and I will go do...more searching. (Whispers) We'll look for more clues to the identity of the "snitch."

Peter: (Grins and nods) Ok! :)

Valerie: (To the others) We'll meet you guys at the front gate after the meeting. ;)

Mike: Anyone else wanna back out? (Silence.) Good. Let's go kick some gangland rear. ;)

Emma: (Takes Lauren's arm as they head out) What was with Irwin? He said two words the entire time and seemed awfully cagey.

Lauren: I don't know, but I've got a bad feeling about him. :P

Emma: I'd say he's another snitch possibilty. His brother may or may not be in on it.

Lauren: Fair assumption. His brother doesn't seem the type, but looks can be deceiving. :P

Emma: If he is, I feel bad for Sarah. Sarah doesn't scream "snitch," either. I'll bet she never saw a gangster in her life before she went into the movies. Her sister is a little tougher, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's not as sophisitcated as she acts.

Lauren: *shakes her head* For all we know, there could be more than just a few people who would snitch. :P

Emma: That's true. (Nods at the other people filing out) Come on. Let's go get the others, before the gangsters kill them...or they kill the gangsters and we all land in jail. ;) :P

Lauren: Right. ;) :P

(Cut to the front of a main building, where two small men and several large men are grouped together. The two short men are arguing. One wears a pinstriped suit, spats, and a fedora, and has slicked-back hair; the other has a looser, less fashionable rumpled suit and has thinning hair carefully arrayed over the balding spot)

First Man: Lyman, I'm orderin' you...

Lyman: Look, Eddie, your business is running wine. Mine is running a movie studio.

Big Eddie: Me n' my boys...we don't like the way you do business. Your little revue portrays my...vocation...in a negative light. If you don't change your revue...

Lyman: Eddie, I don't take kindly to threats. This is MY studio. When you get yourself a studio, you can make whatever movies you want.

Big Eddie: I've got girls who need...a newer profession than the oldest profession. I have connections. If you ditch this revue, I could give you anything you'd need. Wine, women, better songs than the rinky-dink stuff you hear in your films.

Lyman: You got cloth ears, Eddie? I'm not interested. Now (points to the gate) would you get your vocational ass OUT of my studio?

Big Eddie: (Indicates the largest of his boys) Hey, Murray, why don't you show Mr. Lyman how we work? We can work with him, or against him, and right now, he wants us to work against him.

(Murray is three times the size of Mr. Lyman...both ways. He easily picks Lyman up by the scruff of his neck.)

Murray: Whaddaya want me to do with him, boss?

Curt: (From off camera) You will do NOTHING, you big nasty man!

(An empty film cannister hits Murray directly in the gut. He doubles over and drops Mr. Lyman. The White sisters help Lyman to his feet and get him away from the front of the office as the crew and the remaining Monkees and girls swarm onto the scene.)

Emma: (Grins and pumps her fists) YES!! Direct hit! :D

Mike: Nice frisbee throwin' there, darlin'. ;)

Lauren: Bullseye. ;) :D

(We launch into a romp to that utmost of 20s icons, "The Charleston." :D))

Rosie: (Over the music) Sarah, get Mr. Lyman inside and get him or his secretaries to call security!

Sarah: What about you?

Rosie: (Rolls up the sleeves of her costume) Hell, I'm joinin' in! ;)

Sarah: Rosie! (She goes after Rosie as Mr. Lyman stumbles almost drunkenly inside the main building)

(Rosie and Cora jump on a bunch of guys at once. When Rosie pulls herself out from under them, Cora's sitting on top, doing her nails and grinning. ;) )

*Lauren baits a couple guys and gets them to chase her, until Micky suddenly appears with a seltzer bottle, hitting the men in their faces.* ;)

(Emma chases after one guy...and finally tickles him all over with a feather fan appropriated from one of the passing French Revolution actresses. He doubles over in laughter.)

*One of the men goes after Davy. He ducks in a door and the man stops, looking around and scratching his head. Suddenly, his pants are pulled down and he's kicked in the butt. He stumbles to the ground. Davy reappears, grinning and buffing his finger nails on his shirt front.* ;)

(Three men bring out a camera. The gangsters instantly stop in front of the cameras and start waving, grinning, doing funny faces, trying to sing, and saying things like "Hi, Mom!" and "Does my hair look all right?") ;) :D

(Rosie has been ducking the fists of another guy. Irwin runs up to her just as she decks the guy onto the ground. Irwin's eyes double in size under his glasses.)

(Two of the camerawomen tie up two gangsters with blank film.)

*Another guy attempts to "sweet talk" Lauren. She glares at him, her arms folded. She smirks, just before Micky smacks him in the head with the empty seltzer bottle.* ;)

(Sarah is being chased by another guy and is screaming at the top of her lungs. Nick decks him and grabs her. She almost literally swoons into his waiting arms.)

(Curt Del Mar chases Murray, trying to overcome the huge gangster. He jumps on his back, stuffs his beret in his mouth, and covers his eyes.)

Curt: Peek-a-boo! I do not see you! ;)

(As Murray bucks wildly, Mike confronts Big Eddie. They've been having a knock-out fistfight, but Eddie finally hits Mike in a sensitive spot. They don't, however, see Davy and Daphne mischeviously shake some kind of white powder into Eddie's trousers. By the time Eddie realizes what's going on, he can't stop scratching his rear. Emma runs to the still-puffing Mike.)

(Murray finally throws Curt hard against the wall, knocking him out. He turns around too late to see a camera being sent at him. The huge, padded, heavy camera runs right into him, knocking HIM out. Willie Mitzer and a member of his crew grin at each other.)

(We hear sirens as the music comes to a close. It ends with a blast of smoke from a smoke machine Cora, Micky, Lauren, and some of the crewmembers rolled out. O'Leary and his men suddenly appear out of the smoke on motorcycle.)

Micky: Now, THAT was fun! ;) :D

O'Leary: (Coughing) What...what be goin' on here? We heard the studio was under siege!

Rosie: (Dusts off her hands) Just cleaning up some trash.

Sarah: (Sighs) Oh, Nick, you were WONDERFUL! :D :X

Nick: (Blushes) Well... :">

Mike: (Looks around him; growls as Emma joins him) Damn it, Big Eddie escaped! X(

Sarah: (Frowns) Is Curt ok?

Willie: (Runs to Curt; frowns) I don't know. He hit the wall pretty hard.

Cora: I hope he's ok. We can't lose another director on this picture. :p

O'Leary: Will SOMEONE give me a straight answer! What happened here?

Emma: Officer, these men threatened the head of the studio. We got them, but their boss flew the coop.

O'Leary: (Frowns) I've seen these lads skulkin' about here before. I thought they were stagehands or crew members.

Willie: They're Big Eddie's men, O'Leary. Gangsters. They're the ones who have been sabotaging "The Mammoth Revue!"

O'Leary: You don't say! These are the men who keep destroyin' that poor production?

Cora: Some of them, anyway.

(The other guards are already rounding up the remaining gangsters, including Murray. The smoke is fading away; Willie's turned the machine off.)

Micky: *pats the smoke machine* I love this thing. ;)

(Willie and another crewmember try to help Curt to his feet, but he slumps.)

Curt: I feel odd. My head is spinning around and around, and I am having blurry spots.

Cora: That asshole gave the poor guy a concussion!

O'Leary: We'd better be callin' the hospital for the poor Gall.

(Mike makes a face, but Emma puts her hand on his arm.)

Emma: (Softly) Honey, it's for the best. At least he'll be safe from Big Eddie there.

(Mike snorts and nods, but says nothing.)

Willie: At least it sounds like we're still doing "The Mammoth Revue."

Cora: Yeah, but if Curtie-boy doesn't come out of that concussion, we're going to be needing yet ANOTHER director.

Jack: And new sets. And new recordings.

Micky: A-HEM. ;)

(Mike looks thoughtful. Emma grins.)

Emma: How willing are you guys to hire new talents?

Jack: If they know something about film and making a talking picture, we'll take a chimpanzee.

Lauren: *mutters* Funny he should say that. ;)

Cora: I thought that's who directed Eric Chisholm's last movie. ;)

Mike: We'll do it, Mr. Baker. We'll take over the production.

Rosie: Have you ever worked on a movie set before?

Mike: Yes, actually, we have. ;)

Emma: Yeah, the guys have experience...sort of. ;)

Willie: We'll have to talk to Walter Thornburg, the film's producer.

Mike: We could help finish this movie for you. We know a little bit about song and dance, and our buddy Micky here has lived in LA all his life. His folks were in the movies. No one knows more about LA than him. ;)

Micky: Darn right! *grins* ;)

Lauren: Swelled head, anyone? ;) :P

Mike: If nothing else, he could blow up your sets before the gangsters get them. ;)

Willie: That's good to know. :p

Micky: Funny, Mike. :P

Sarah: So, the movie's still on? :)

Nick: What about our music?

Mike: We'll still use your stuff. Hell, we'll use EVERYONE'S stuff. Got any songwriters you know that can't get their songs in a movie? Send them to us! ;)

Emma: I'll write the skits! :D

Mike: I'll write a song or two of my own. ;)

Emma: Everyone's free to contribute ideas. Let's make this a real collaborative effort! :)

Micky: *rubs his hands together* I'll tell everyone where to stand! :D

Lauren: I'll supervise our director. ;)

Mike: Dave, wanna be dance director?

Davy: Would love to, mate. ;)

Daphne: And a cute one, at that. ;)

Mike: Anythin' you’re interested in doin', Daph?

Emma: If nothing else, she, Cora, and the White sisters could guard the chorines to keep them from being turned into heads of cabbage again.

Daphne: *grins; holds her fists up* I'll keep an eye out for anyone who doesn't belong here. ;) X-(

Cora: I'll gladly help.

Rosie: I always wondered what it would be like to be a bodyguard. ;)

(Valerie and Peter run up to the others.)

Valerie: Where WERE you guys?

Peter: We know you said to meet you at the gate, but we got worried!

Mike: Oh, we're just gonna make a movie. ;)

Valerie: What?

Peter: Wow!

Emma: The head of Mammoth Studios was attacked by Big Eddie and his boys. Big Eddie escaped, but a lot of his boys didn't. Unfortuantly, Curt Del Mar was also hurt in the attack. He ended up with a nasty concussion and is probably out of the production.

Valerie: Oh, god! So, what's going to happen to the revue now?

Mike: (Grins) Us. ;) :D

Micky: And I get to boss everyone around. *waggles his eyebrows* ;)

Peter: Can I write music?

Nick: You're a musician, too?

Peter: It's my life. :)

Nick: Mine, too. I want to show the establishment that jazz can be just as important as classical music.

Peter: I think that, too! :D

Valerie: I'm going to look further into this snitch buisness. I'll talk to Mr. Lyman and his secretaries, do some snooping. ;)

Peter: Don't get hurt, Valerie! Those gangsters are mean!

Irwin: They have very little scruples. Men, women, immigrants, it is all the same. They will hurt them, blackmail them, kill their families and those they love. They only hate; they do not care who they hurt. (Nick reaches over and gently places a hand on Irwin's shoulders)

Nick: Ivan, enough. Don't do this to yourself.

(Irwin nods and falls silent.)

Willie: We'll have to talk to the producer, but I think he'd be willing to do ANYTHING by now to save this movie!

Rosie: This is our big chance to be seen, too!

Sarah: This is the biggest movie we've ever been in!

Cora: Only my second big flick at Mammoth. My last movie was a hit, and I wanna continue my streak.

Willie: We just want to do something different. It's not easy for camera and crewmembers these days, what with all the equipment and the new requirements for the camera.

(The remaining crewmembers nod their heads.)

Micky: Oh, this'll be different, alright. ;)

Mike: Well, ladies and gentlemen, (nods in the direction of the soundstages) let's make a musical. ;)(Cut back to the "Mammoth Revue" set. It's the next day. Micky, Willie, and the camerapeople stand behind the huge, padded cameras, discussing the few possible angles at their disposal. Davy dances with some of the chorines, who now wear elaborate, revealing spangled turquoise and gold outfits with huge feathered headdresses and fans. Peter and Nick play a song on the guitar and piano, while Irwin and Mike argue over songs. Emma sits off to one side with a notebook, writing away. Daphne talks with the White sisters and Cora, all dressed in turquoise dresses trimmed with lace and feathers.)

Mike: I thought we could use this song here...

Irwin: I would rather our song be used for this skit. This skit calls for something more dramatic.

Peter: (Grins) Hey, that was gr...really the cat's meow!

Nick: Thank you. I grew up in New York, playing music for dives in the Lower East Side. Irwin and I wrote songs for them. A Broadway producer heard our songs one night and put them into a musical, and Harvey Lyman liked them and called us out here.

Peter: I hope that'll happen to us someday! I love to play music. It's like breathing.

Nick: It is for me, too. I would still be working dives in New York if I could not write music.

Peter: I'd probably be something boring in Connecticut, like a doctor...or crazy. :p

Willie: (Cut to him and Mick) I've tried to tell you, kid, no we can't just make blue appear on the screen, and we can't have the cameras at those angles!

Micky: Why not? With this angle, the lighting is better, and it gives the viewer a sense of really being in the scene!

Willie: It's also hard to do with these big, noisy cameras.

Crewmember 2: And it's never been done before!

Micky: Who is the director here, huh? :P ;) I say, we can do this!

*Lauren, seated in a director's chair, slaps a hand over her eyes and groans.* :P

Willie: (Calls to Lauren) Hey, doll, you're supposed to be the assistant director. Got any suggestions? Or, better yet, can you talk some sense into this nutcase?

Lauren: *looks up* I'm only here to supervise him. *frowns* And just because he's MY nutcase, doesn't mean I actually have control over him. :P

Cora: (To Daphne) Any word on...(whispers)...snitches...yet?

Sarah: (Sniffles a bit) We heard about Cur Del Mar. He got a major concussion, four broken ribs, and hurt his back. He'll be in the hospital for days! :(

Daphne: No word yet. Too bad, too. I really wanna hurt someone for what happened to poor Curt. :P X-(

Rosie: Yeah. Big Eddie's boys have done everything to the set short of burning the studio down, but they've never hurt anyone until yesterday.

Daphne: *frowns* Sounds like they're starting to run out of ideas, in that case. :P

Rosie: I hope so. This is supposed to be a major all-star affair. You'll get to meet more of them today for this number. It's supposed to be a showcase for all the singing-and-dancing ladies on the lot.

Daphne: *nods* Great! Hopefully, things will be going a lot smoother now.

(Yet another brunette pops up at this point, grinnning. She has a sweet, chubby-cheeked face and large brown eyes. Her turquoise-and-gold dress is shorter than the other girls' outfits but less skimpy than the chorines' numbers. Her shoes make a decided tapping on the floor as she runs over to them.)

Brunette: Have we begun yet? Am I late?

Rosie: Trix, you're fine. We're just about to start. (Nods) Daphne Morgani, Trixie LaVerne, vaudeville dancer and wife of Eric Chisholm.

Daphne: Nice to meet you. :)

Trixie: (Grins and pumps Daphne's hand) Bee's knees! (Makes a face) I was just on the set of Eric's latest movie. I didn't like the looks he was giving Caroline Harris.

Cora: Trix, you think Eric is after every woman on the lot.

Trixie: I KNOW he's after every woman on the lot. I've just got to prove it.

(Micky has been supervising a grumbling Willie and his annoyed crew moving cameras around the set.)

Micky: No. *waves his hands around* That isn't right... *sighs*

Willie: (Mutters) I'd like to know how he plans on getting a camera on the celing... :p

Crew Member 1: Well, where do you want it then, oh master director who knows so much?

Micky: *tilts his head* Just...tilt this one. *points at another camera* Turn that one 55 degrees to the left. *points at another camera* I WANT that one on the ceiling!

(Cut to guys on wires trying to attatch a heavy camera to the celing)

Micky: *grins, looking up at the ceiling* I like that. ;)

Trixie: Well, are we ready? Are we? (She's almost skipping)

Rosie: Someone's been drinking the studio commissary coffee again. :p

Irwin: I still like this note better down here...

Mike: It's fine, Irrie-poo. (Nods) We're ready over here.

Peter: The musicians are ready!

Nick: I've never played for such a large number!

*Davy has stopped dancing momentarily to gaze at the women dancing around him. He turns and glimpses Daphne's glare. He gives a sheepish grin, waves, and goes back to dancing.* ;) :P

Mike: I think Davy's ready...or Daph's ready to kill him, whichever comes first. ;)

(Emma just waves from off the set and keeps writing. ;) )

Lauren: If we can get our great dictator...er, director to STOP PLAYING WITH THE CAMERAS, we might be able to start. :P

Micky: *sticks his tongue out* I'm not PLAYING with the cameras! :P

Mike: Someday would be nice, Mick. The cameramen are getting restless.

Micky: Too bad! I want this to be perfect! :P

Lauren: MICKY! :P

Willie: I agree with your lady, Mr. Dolenz.

Mike: Me too. Let's get this show on the road.

Micky: *hmphs* Oh, ALL RIGHT, fine. *flops in a director's chair next to Lauren*

Lauren: About time. :P

James: (A young man in a gold tux runs on the set) Present, Mr. Del Ma...(frowns) where's Mr. Del Mar?

Peter: He got hurt by the gangsters and can't do the movie anymore!

James: Then who's doing the movie?

Micky: Me! ;) :D

Willie: (Jerks a thumb at Micky) He is.

Lauren: Lord help us. :P

James: Well, then, where's my microphone? I AM the lead tenor on this number, after all!

Micky: Well, someone, where IS his microphone? *gets up, waving his arms* Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?! :P

*Lauren covers her face with both hands, shaking her head, mumbling something about creating a monster.* ;)

(Someone drops the microphone on James’ head.)

James: Ouch!

Cora: (Snickers) He got his microphone. ;)

Daphne: I'll say. ;)

(Two crewmembers set it up just offstage. James stands away from the set - three sweeping turquoise-and-gold stairs with peachy-pink carpets - and as close to the microphone as he can and still be in camera range.)

Willie: Well, director, ready?

Micky: *flops back in his chair* All ready...action!

(We start with James singing "Beautiful Girl" on an empty soundstage. As he gets to the first chorus, the chorines walk out one by one, trying to look poised and graceful in their huge headdresses.)

(Mike and Irwin continue to wave their arms around, obviously still arguing. They grab bows from two of the violinists and start "dueling." Jack, who is off to one corner with the recording equipment, glares at them. ;) )

(Cut to the celing. Two of the cameramen are still hanging there, trying to position the camera.)

*Micky gets up, goes over to one camera, and talks to the cameraman while wildly waving his arms. He flops back down in his chair.*

(He gets a roll of film thrown at his head from off-camera. ;) :p))

*Micky narrowly ducks the roll of film. He glares back in the direction it came from, making a face. Lauren slumps in her chair.*

*Micky goes to another cameraman and does the same thing. He shrugs at Lauren's questioning look. Micky then glances towards the ceiling. Lauren shakes her head.*

*Davy stands off to the side, just far enough to be off camera, but close enough for the women to see him. Daphne watches him with narrowed eyes.* :P

(Peter and Nick play and sing along, occasionally turning pages and matching notes.)

(As the women finally end their procession, Cora and the White sisters come on and sing with James as crew members try to make the microphone follow them.)

(Mike and Irwin's fight has taken them onto the set and in front of the camera. They are using dueling trombones. Rosie White chases both men off-camera.)

*Micky stands, flailing his arms around. Lauren slides out of her chair to avoid getting clipped by wildly waving hands.* :P

*Daphne is still watching Davy with narrowed eyes.* ;)

(Trixie LaVerne literally comes tapping onto the steps as the tempo picks up. She's dancing so fast, Peter and Nick are timing her. ;) )

*Micky flops down again and does a double take, seeing that Lauren has left her chair. He shrugs and sits back, but jumps up again, flailing his arms seconds later.*

(Mike and Irwin run past Emma, still arguing. Emma turns a page of one of their song sheets and points something out. Both men grumble, make faces, and walk off, arguing again. Emma shrugs and returns to her notes.)

*Lauren returns with an ice cream soda and sits back down in her chair. Micky tries to snitch, but Lauren pushes him away.*

(There's an overhead shot of the chorus girls surrounding Trixie...that's broken up as the two cameramen come flying out of the rafters and across the set. Trixie and all of the chorines duck. They go flying back out again.)

*Micky jumps up with a wide grin after seeing the two cameramen flying across the set.* :D ;)

(Nick and Peter walk onto the set, Peter playing a ukelale. They join the White sisters, who ignore the still-singing James. James gets down front as everyone, including the still-bickering Mike and Irwin, get on the steps for a tableau that ends with the poor cameramen finally slowing down and dangling from their wires. ;) )

Willie: (As the musicians end the song) What in the HELL was that?

Trixie: Can we do it again? :D

(The dangling cameramen shake their head "no." :o )

Micky: *jumps up; crows* Cut! Print! Perfect!

James: No, it WASN'T perfect!

*Lauren sets her glass on the floor, sits back, then slaps her forehead again.* :P

Cora: I've never been almost killed by flying cameramen on a movie set before. ;)

Micky: That was so great! :D ;)

Mike: Woulda been better if THIS one (indicates Irwin) wasn't so damn stubborn!

Irwin: It would be even better than that if you'd listen to my ideas!

Mike: What about MY ideas?

Peter: (Whimpers) Michael...

Nick: (Gulps) Ivan...

Lauren: *rolls her eyes* Oh, brother.

Emma: (Runs onset and gets between them) Ok, enough, you two.

Micky: *walks over to Mike and Irwin* Why don'tcha COMPROMISE? Besides, I'M the director!

Sarah: That WAS sort of fun... :)

Lauren: ...And it's gone straight to his head. :P ;)

Rosie: It was more fun than a Charleston competition with John Gilbert! :X

Lauren: *tilts her head; looking at one of the cameras that has been vacated* Umm, *points* I don't think a camera is supposed to smoke like that.

Willie: Holy cow! Someone douse her, quick!

Crewmember 2: Someone get some water!

Micky: Huh? I got it!

*As Micky returns with a fire exstinguisher, there's a big poof of black smoke from the camera. The film, half melted, dribbles onto the floor. Micky stops, still holding the exstinguisher. He puts it down and shrugs.* :P

Micky: *sighs* I tried. :P

Willie: Damn it! Another one lost!

Crewmember 3: We could probably get enough useable footage from the other cameras.

Crewmember 4: Including the one on the celing.

Micky: Sure, but that was the best angle! :P :(

Trixie: You mean, we did all that for nothing? :o

Peter: Oh, no! :(

Lauren: *goes over and pats Micky's shoulder* There, there, Mick. It'll be okay.

Irwin: Sabotage again, I'm sure.

Mike: Those bastards are still playin' games. X(

Cora: This is getting annoying.

Daphne: Where are they? I'll punch their lights out! X-(

Cora: We're right behind you. X(

Rosie: CLOSE behind you.

Trixie: I'll tap their rears so far, they'll be taking Chinese when I'm done! X(

Nick: Um, what she said. :o

Peter: Ditto! :o

Davy: Not a bad idea, luv. ;)

Micky: *near sob* My camera! :( :P

Mike: We've gotta show these guys that we mean as much business as they do, if not more.

Peter: They hurt Micky's camera!

Jack: And my equipment. X(

Willie: And one of our best directors.

Sarah: We'll NEVER get our big break! :((

Emma: (Turns to the others) First of all, I say we need publicity. Let's let it be known that the movie WILL be made...whether the gangsters want it to be or not.

Willie: We'll need more security on and off-set, too.

Irwin: More than that, though, we'll need a combined effort to make this work.

Rosie: (Crosses her arms) Which includes you and Mr. Nesmith.

(Mike and Irwin glare at each other.)

Lauren: Hear that, Mr. Dictator?

*Micky, still frowning, sticks his tongue out at Lauren.*

Peter: (Puts down his ukelale) I've got to find my wife, too. She was going to get some more information on...the gangsters...for us.

Mike: (To Mick) In the meantime, Mr. Director, wanna move on, or is it coffee break time? ;)

Micky: *still frowning* Coffee break! I need a moment. *heads off towards the dressing rooms* :P ;)