Everyone ready to resume filming today?

Mike: Yeah, sorta.

Peter: I am!

Micky: I am too!

Davy: Down, Mick. I'm ready.

(We open in the desert. There's nothing but desert for miles around. Well, nothing but desert and a few vehicles that rumble up to a valley between sand dunes. The Monkees pop out of a dune buggy, the one that was in the picture that interested Sheila and Alex so much earlier in the day. Men with cameras and equipment follow out of vans. A huge tank lurches into view behind a Coke machine.)

Mike: (Climbs out of the dune buggy) Man, is there some reason we've all gotta be out here? It's hot and grimy and I have sand in places I didn't know sand could be.

Peter: They said they were going to film the dune buggy chase after they did Micky and the tank!

Mike: Whose idea was it to have Micky drivin' a tank, anyway? Is that even legal?

Peter: (Scratches his head) You know, I don't really remember anymore. It's all so hazy.

Micky: Hey!?

Mike: Mick, I've seen you drive the MonkeeMobile. The thought of you with heavy artilery terrifies me.

Micky: Thank you for the vote of confidence.

Peter: I'm sure he'll be fine, Michael. They did let him practice!

Mike: And there's somethin' left?

Micky: Alright, that's it. I'm going to film. I'll see you guys in a bit. *starts over to where Jack is, giving a wave back to the guys over his shoulder, along with something that greatly resembled the bird in Mike's direction*

Mike: Why, that little... (starts to him, but Peter and Davy stop him)

Peter: Michael, no! You can't kill him now! I don't think they'll be able to write a death scene into the movie!

Davy: Yeah, mate!

Mike: Well, he started it!

Peter: Why don't we go do something else? Work on our lines or something?

Davy: Sounds good to me, Petah.

Mike: (Grins) Let's use that machine and get a Coke before Mick blows it to hell and gone. I'm dyin' out here!

Davy: Now that's an idea!

Peter: I could use it. (Wipes his forehead) Whew! It's really hot today, even for the desert. :p

(Cut to a bit later. The remaining three Monkees are in the dune buggy, driving across the desert and drinking bottles of Coke.)

Mike: I read about a custom car show bein' held not far from here. Bert said we were free until after lunch and no one said they desperately needed us, so I thought we could check it out.

Davy: That sounds like fun. I like seeing some nice looking cahs.

Peter: Did you guys renegotiate our contracts?

Mike: (Narrows his eyes) To the best of our abilities. We still ain't gonna get credit for writin' the movie.

Peter: But that's not fair! We came up with ideas, too!

Mike: Yeah, but we ain't the fancy-pants director or big-ass writer/star.

Peter: At least we'll have better contracts! When we're big stars, I'm sure people will listen!

Mike: (Mutters) They shoulda listened now.

Davy: *rolls his eyes* Uh, mates, can we just go enjoy the cahs for now?

Peter: (Nods) Peace, Michael. We'll get recognition someday.

Mike: (Sighs as they park in a lot next to a group of tents and a huge arena) Someday, man. Someday. :p

(The Monkees enter the large arena. People stand under tents, waxing and washing colorful cars that range from elegant vehicles from the 20s and 30s to colorful customized versions of 70s dragsters and muscle cars.)

Mike: Man, check this place out!

Davy: Oh man, we'll 'ave to let Mick know about this! Look at all these great cahs!

Peter: Hey! (Runs over to van covered in psychadelic flowers) Look at this one! It runs on organic fuel!

Davy: *goes over to a muscled-up red Firebird* I like this one!

Mike: (Rubs his chin as he looks over a sleek black Mustang) Hmmm...

Davy: *joins Mike* 'Ey, this is one nice looking ve'icle!

Peter: (Runs over to Mike) Did you see the van that runs on organic fuel? Just imagine if all cars did that!

Mike: Ain't she gorgeous? This is a real Black Beauty.

Young Man: (A college-age fellow pops out from behind the car) Hi there.

Mike: Man, this is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. :X

Young Man: Thank you! I've done a lot of work on her over the past few years. She's entered in the big custom car show here.

Mike: She's gotta win first place, no question.

*Davy grins as he watches Mike drool over the car.*

Young Man: (Quieter) I'd be careful, guys. I'm doing my best to keep an eye on her. I've heard around here that cars and their owners have suddenly disappeared. Some say the show is jinxed, or that this is a sacred Indian burial ground or something. (Frowns) I don't think that's what it is, though. I think there's something more sinister going on.

Peter: (Gulps) Like what?

Young Man: There was this girl who used to be in the next tent over. Amy Thomas, I think her name was. Nice girl. We'd joke occasionally about whose car was going to win the show. She had a tiny little European custom sportscar she and her brother worked on for years, and she was really excited about entering the show, since this was her first show. Two days ago, Amy and her car disappeared. No one's heard from her since then. Her brother went looking for her and no one's heard from him, either. And Ricky, the guy next to me with the black Thunderbird with the flames on the side, he disappeared yesterday.

Peter: (Pales) Oh god...

Davy: Disappeared?

Young Man: (Shrugs) Vanished. People have called them; no answer. Their cars are gone, too. I heard they never even formally withdrew from the show.

Mike: Man, that's freaky.

Davy: That is really weird.

Mike: I hope you win, man.

Young Man: I hope I'm around long enough TO win.

Peter: (Tugs on Mike's shirt sleeve and puts a hand on his stomach) Uh, Michael.

Mike: What?

Peter: Um, one of the car fans sorta looks familiar, and he's coming right for us.

Mike: (Looks up; sees Alex wandering around by the track and headed for them) Figures. (Thoughtful) Hey, guys, why don't we take off? We've got to see the rest of the show.

Davy: Yeah, let’s go.

Mike: (Shakes the young man's hand) Well, hope you win, man. You have a great car.

Young Man: Thanks. My name's Roger Keller, (puts a hand on his car) and this is the Black Phantom. Come visit us again sometime. The show is running for another four days.

Mike: Will do, man. (He and the guys walk away, finally ducking under the seats in the arena) Whew! That was close!

Peter: What's Alex doing here?

Davy: I don't know, mate, but nothing good, I'm sure.

Mike: Let's see what he's up to. If he's up to what I think he's up to, it may be time for a little MonkeeMan action.

Peter: What's he up to?

(Mike groans.)

(The three Monkees sneak back over to the area where Roger returns to polishing the Black Phantom. They hide in Amy's abandoned tent.)

*Alex makes his way over to Roger and his car. He whistles appreciatively.*

Roger: (Looks up and grins) You like her?

Alex: Oh, I sure do! She's a real beaut.

Roger: I call her "The Black Phantom." (Leans on the car) Hey, didn't I see you hanging around with Amy Thomas a few days ago?

(The Monkees all exchange looks.)

Alex: *shakes his head* I'm sorry, it must be someone else you're thinking of. I don't know anyone by that name.

Roger: I know you were lookin' at her car.

Alex: I'm sorry, it wasn't me. I just came over to say how much I like your car.

Roger: Well, that, I appreciate. I hope she's gonna win first prize in the car show.

Alex: I bet she will!

Roger: I hope so. I need the money. I work for my dad in the garage between classes, but with the economy and all... (sighs)...well, it hasn't been easy to do classes and keep the Phantom up, too.

Mike: (Groans) Man, I hope Alex ain't gonna pull anythin'.

Peter: Roger seems like a nice guy, and he does like that car.

Alex: You need money? Maybe I could help you out in that department. I collect cars myself and I'm always looking for new mechanics.

Roger: You are? That's great! We'd have to work around classes and my job with my dad, but...

Mike: Oh shit! Alex is suckerin' him in!

Alex: No problem! I'm very flexible. We could work out a deal that pleases both of us.

Roger: Sure! I wouldn't be able to start until after the show, but I really need the money, so...

Mike: (Looks at the others) It's time to get out there, guys.

Peter: I don't want him to take Roger's soul! He's a nice guy!

Davy: Let’s stop that devil!

Mike: (Looks left and right) I think it should be ok, guys. It's pretty quiet here. (There's a dark blue light in the tent as Roger and Alex are about to shake hands, and the three Monkees, now in MonkeeMan uniform, jump out)

Peter: (Bad southern accent) Halt, sir! We're here to tell ya'll that this here gentlemen is nothin' but a nasty scoundrel!

Mike: (Thicker Texas accent) Pardner, you're bein' suckered.

Roger: (Raises an eyebrow) Ok guys, seen the old "Captain Marvel" serial one too many times?

Alex: *blinks; faint grin* Well, what do we have here? Guys, I got bad news for you. You're a little early for Halloween.

Mike: Pardner, we're here to make sure this nice young fella doesn't shack up with a hustler like you.

Alex: *smirks* "Shack up," huh? Perhaps you fellas DO know me.

Roger: (Eyes widen) What do you mean?

Mike: What you think he means.

Peter: What does he mean?

(Mike rolls his eyes.)

Mike: Leave this kid alone, Alex. He ain't got nuthin' that interests 'ya.

Alex: Uh, yeah, actually he does. ;)

Roger: Um, could you all tell me what's going on here?

Mike: Kid, that invitation he was givin' you was a one-way ticket to Hell. Literally.

Alex: *scowls* Oh, would you shut up!

Peter: Not until you leave this pore young gentleman alone!

Alex: *scoffs* Yeah, right. *reaches for the car door, but finds it locked; glances up to see Roger dangling the keys, standing on the other side of the car*

Roger: I don't know who you are, pal, but I'm not letting you steal my baby.

Mike: That's right, pardner. You're doin' the smart thing.

Alex: *rolls his eyes* Why can't things ever go my way?

Peter: 'Cause we're the good guys, and we're supposed to win!

Davy: Let’s get 'im, mates!

Mike: Yeah! (All three Monkees pile on Alex at once)

Alex: *smirks* Gee, I didn't know you fellas liked me this much! *plants a kiss on Mike before taking off running*

Mike: (Wipes his cheek with the back of his hand) Ugh! (Yells to the retreating Alex) Come back here and fight like a devil! (Takes off)

Peter: (Turns to the shaken and surprised Roger) We'll see you later, young gentleman. We've gotta catch up with that devilish rascal. (He follows Mike in the air)

*Davy gives a shrug and a slight grin at Roger, then follows after Peter in the air*

Mike: (In the air; obvious blue-screen and wire shot) Guys, we gotta catch up to Alex. He's up to no good, and I don't wanna know what he'll do if he goes back to the car show OR ends up on the movie set.

Peter: What do you think he's after now?

Mike: Good lookin' cars and good lookin' women. :p

Peter: (Points at Alex, who runs through the parking lot) There he is!

Davy: Why don't we dive-bomb 'im? Catch 'im by surprise.

Mike: Sounds good to me.

Peter: (Puts a hand on Mike's shoulder) Peace, Michael. You know how Alex is. He wants to get you riled up so he'll catch you off your guard.

(Mike just shrugs Peter's hand off his shoulder and dives for Alex.)

Peter: (Sighs sadly) Oh Michael... :(

Davy: Come on, Petah. Let’s make sure Mike don't do anything 'e'll regret.

(He and Peter follow Mike as he lands on Alex, knocking both of them to the asphault.)

Mike: Oh no you don't, clone boy! You ain't gettin' away that easily!

Alex: And you ain't gettin' ahold of ME that easily unless I WANT you to. *winks*

Mike: I ain't interested in YOU that way anymore than I am in Sheila.

(The two men wrestle as Peter and Davy land.)

Davy: 'Ang on, Mike!

Alex: As much as I'm enjoyed rolling around with you, Knight, I have business to attend to! *shoves Mike off & starts off again, headed toward the Buggy*

Mike: Hey! Come back here, you jerk! I ain't done with you yet! (Sticks his hand in his skin-tight pants and growls)

Peter: Mike, what's wrong?

Mike: That ass filched the keys to the dune buggy! *Alex lets a cackle rip as he nears the Buggy.*

Mike: (Points at Alex) GET HIM!

(Mike, Davy, and Peter go after Alex at once as "Midnight Train" begins.)

Mike: Alex, don't you dare steal that car! It ain't even ours! The prop guys at Columbia gonna have our heads for losin' that!

(But Alex jumps in the car and speeds off before the Monkees can stop him.)

*Alex waves a hand back at them as sand kicks up from the tires.*

Mike: (Over the music) Come on. Let's get Mick and save that dune buggy!

(Mike growls, but Peter points to a large gray shape in the distance. Micky has that big tank, and he should be almost done filming. Maybe he could help.)

*Davy nods his agreement.*

(They fly over the desert, passing a train. They wave to the surprised conductor and to some even more surprised passengers, including one wide-eyed little boy who thinks they're the Fantastic Four.)

*A black flag depicting a skull and crossbones rises on the Buggy.*

(The Monkees finally land on the tank. Mike blasts a small laser beam into the side of the tank to get Micky's attention.)

*The lid on the tank opens and Micky pops his head out, making a face that says "What the hell are you doing?*

(Mike gestures at the costumes and at Alex in the dune buggy on the horizon. Peter points at the tank. He doesn't like war, but he thinks the tank will allow them to catch up to Alex.)

*Micky nods, then points forward at Alex, grinning.*

(Mike nods; it's time to have fun. They get in the tank with Micky.)

(Long shot of the tank following the dune buggy over the desert horizon. The tank shoots at the dune buggy, not to destroy it but to block it.)

*Alex steers the Buggy around the craters the tank is creating.*

(There's a dark blue light, and suddenly something else shoots out of the tank...barbecue sauce.)

(Next, Alex finds himself dodging green veggies.)

*Alex then has to start dodging little mini explosions similar to land mines.*

(Alex makes a face as sticky gold stuff shoots out of the tank next. He licks some off his nose and finds that it's honey.)

(Alex looks over his shoulder. The tank is gaining on him and will be in front of him any minute.)

*Alex stomps down on the gas, flooring the Buggy, but the tank is still gaining ground.*

(The four Monkees sit inside the tank, arguing over which button to push next. While they're arguing, they're not paying attention to the road, and they wind up rolling into one of the craters created by their own missiles...and getting stuck.)

(Alex and the dune buggy disappear in a black light as the four Monkees - three now back in their own clothes - emerge from the tank and the song ends.)

Mike: Damn it to hell, we lost him!

Peter: What are we going to do now?

Micky: See if we can get the tank unstuck so we don't have to say we lost this too?

Mike: Bert's gonna blow a fuse when he finds out about the dune buggy. It'll delay shootin', too.

Peter: We were supposed to film the dune buggy scenes this afternoon!

Micky: Maybe we can think up some excuse so we can film something else instead.

Mike: Yeah. We could do the end sequence with everyone chasin' us again, since we're in the desert.

Peter: But for now...(looks at the tank)...maybe we'd better start pushing the tank out of the ditch.

Davy: Good idea, mate.

(The screen fades out as the boys get out of the tank and try to figure out how to get it out of the crater.)