Is everyone ready to rescue Lauren, destroy the computer, and save the universe?
Mike: Let's go!
Peter: Me!
Micky: Save the universe? I don't remember that being part of this.
Davy: Mate, you slept through that part. ;)
Micky: Oh.
(We start with Emma and Daphne returning to the back of the computer. Valerie's still half-inside of it; Lauren remains in a trance.)
Emma: (She and Daph both munch on apples; Daphne has several more) How's it coming, Val? Want an apple?
Valerie: Save me an apple, please. *sighs* The inside of this thing is an absolute mess, but it's workable. I think I may almost have something here...
Emma: I hope so. I just want to make sure Alex can't use it to hurt anyone worse than he already has.
Valerie: That's why I'm trying.
Emma: (Turns to Lauren) Want an apple? :)
*Lauren just blinks at her.*
Daphne: *shakes her head* She's still out of it.
Emma: (Sighs) Well, I tr...(as she speaks, there's a black light around Lauren)...what? Lauren?
Daphne: What the heck?
Valerie: *pulls out of the computer* What's going on?
*When the black light fades, Lauren is gone.*
Daphne: Hey?!
Valerie: Where did she go?
Emma: (Growls) Alex and Sheila's little "disappearing" tricks. X(
Valerie: You know, this is becoming tiresome.
Daphne: Wonder what they've got up their sleeves this time?
Emma: (Grins) I think I know how to find out. (Opens her communicator) Mike? Mike, come in! (Grins at the girls) I feel sheepish. We never thought of using these!
Daphne: Hey, yeah!
Valerie: Can't hurt.
Mike: (Not the clearest, but heard) Em?
Emma: Mike, where are you?
Mike: We just got back from rescuin' your spirits, and now we're goin' after Lauren's. Alex grabbed her spirit and took off with her. We're gonna blow up the core, and if we're lucky, Alex with it.
Emma: (Eyes widen) Oh god! Honey, that isn't Lauren's spirit Alex has! That's Lauren herself! She just disappeared! :o
Mike: Oh shit. He WOULD do that. (Leans over) Mick, Alex has Lauren. REALLY has her, not just her spirit.
Micky: *roars* WHAT?!?!
*Muffled curses from Micky follow.*
Emma: Mike, we're gonna help you, too. We're behind the computer right now, and we're working on the computer from the outside.
Voice: Oh no, you don't! (Emma and Daphne turn around; Sheila and several handmaidens stand behind them) You're comin' with us, ladies. You won't interfere with our plans anymore.
Daphne: Uh oh...
Emma: (Turns back to her communicator) Um, honey, we just got busy. I'll call you back. Be careful. I love you! :)
Mike: Love ya too, darlin'. Don't get in over your head.
Emma: We'll be just fine. Over and out. (She shuts off the communicator and turns to Sheila) Oh goody, my favorite. Leftovers.
Sheila: You'll be shredded and sittin' in my refrigerator before I'm done with the lot of you! X(
Emma: Hey Val, can you leave long enough to handle a few locals?
Valerie: *comes out completely* Gladly.
Emma: (Makes her hockey stick appear) Prepare to meet your maker, Sheila.
Sheila: You can't think of somethin' better than clichés?
Emma: Nahh, it's getting late.
Daphne: Besides, they're some of the best clichés she's using!
Sheila: Get them!
(As the handmaidens attack the girls, we cut to the boys inside the computer.)
(We get a long, long shot of a large red ship in space. The "ship" looks something like a very big and familiar red Pontiac GTO converted to a space ship, complete with blowers on the nose and a yellow "Monkees" guitar graphic on the side. ;) )
(Cut to inside. The "ship" is much bigger than Micky's last one. Micky sits at the front console in a red uniform with a small gold guitar graphic. Mike's is white with silver, Davy has royal blue on dark blue, and Peter has orange on green. Ursula stands at the very front, looking out the front ship windows intently. She still wears her white gown.)
Mike: (Sighs) Anyone found anything yet?
Davy: Yeah. I think Mick n' I found Alex's secret porn stash in Sector 4. :P
Micky: And Sector 5. :P
Mike: And six and seven and eight I'm sure, knowin' Alex. I meant somethin' that WON'T make us throw up.
Micky: I just wanna get my hands on the bastard.
Mike: Well, we can't do that until we FIND the bastard.
Peter: If you were Alex, where would you hide Lauren?
Mike: Pete, the answer to that question ain't repeatable where impressionable teenagers might be readin'.
Micky: Well... *scratches his head, thinking* the thing is, I SHOULD know.
Mike: Alex is your clone, Mick. If it were you, where'd you hide Lauren?
Micky: That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Ursula: (Turns to the Monkees and puts her hand on Micky's console; when she moves her hand, a monitor and buttons appear) I think this will help you. It's a homing device, set to track the other Guardians, including the younger ones. It should help you find Lauren in no time at all.
Micky: *slight grin* You really think of everything, don't you, Urse?
Ursula: Yes. ;)
Peter: (As the monitor begins to flash) Hey, Ursula, what's that mean?
Ursula: (Leans over Micky; Mike joins her) Looks like Alex, Lauren, and presumably the Core are in Sector 11, Guardians.
Micky: Well, this ought to be interesting.
Peter: (As the guys come up on a huge, pulsing white ball of pure electricity) Wow! Look at that! What IS that?
Ursula: Assumable, Bard, that is the core of the machine.
Mike: In which case, all Guardians hit the deck! Time to take evasive action!
Davy: Bloody evasive!
Micky: Hang on!
(The four Monkees start shooting at it with Ursula's guidance as "Just a Game" begins.)
*Another dark-colored ship comes from around the "core" and shoots at the MonkeeShip!* >:)
Ursula: (Over the music) Alex! Micky, shields up, now!
Micky: Yikes! *quickly pushes a button; "Shields up" appears on the monitor, just before the strike hits*
Peter: That was too close!
(Mike shoots air storms at the Core. It combines with Peter's shots to create a lightning storm.)
*The effect looks oddly like fireworks.*
Ursula: Micky, (indicates a red button) press that one for fire, your element. Davy, your button is dark blue.
*Both nod and press their buttons.*
(Water gushes at the Core; fire sizzles. When they hit each other, they create a wave of steam. Mike grabs Peter; he wears a towel and a shirt and is all ready to hit the steam room!)
*Davy shakes his head. Micky rolls his eyes.*
(There's a blue light. A wave of pure white light hits the Core. Ursula smiles knowingly.)
(Mike frowns and points. Several more light beams - in shades of pink, golden brown, and yellow - hit the Core as well. Something in the atmosphere shakes the Core and Alex's ship, almost like an unseen hand was shaking them.)
*Davy stares, wide eyed.*
(Ursula looks surprised at first, but she then smiles.)
*Micky's jaw drops.* :-O
(There's a strike from the Core of pure black energy that rocks the MonkeeShip and knocks the five within it to the floor. Ursula retaliates with a spray of orange juice. Mike grins, pushes a button, and sprays coconut milk. Peter pushes a button. A hand pops out and offers Alex's ship a little paper umbrella. ;) )
*Davy presses a button and sprays tea. Micky presses a button and sprays Coca Cola.* ;)
*We switch to Alex's ship and see him at the helm of his ship. His fists are clenched and are turning white, while his face is bright red with anger.*
*The Core suddenly starts throwing huge playing cards at the MonkeeShip. Each one that hits, shakes the ship, which is most of the cards.*
(Mike grins at Micky and pushes a button with six dots on it. Another hand pops out and rolls dice. Mike calls "Hey Mick, number six!")
*The MonkeeShip, in retaliation, starts throwing red, white, and blue poker chips at Alex's ship and the Core!*
Ursula: (As the music ends) There's only one way we're going to take them out, Guardians. It's dangerous, but we can't go on like this all night.
Mike: What, go through Alex's porn stash?
Micky: That would take eons.
Davy: Erase his porn stash?
Ursula: As much as I'd like to, no. We have to go through the Core and shoot it from the inside.
Mike: Go....IN....the Core?
Peter: No way!
Micky: Say what?
Davy: You must be joking!
Ursula: If all four of you put your attacks together with mine and the lasers we saw earlier, it might be enough to destroy the Core.
Micky: If we blow it up from the inside, doesn't that mean that we'll be blown up, too?
Mike: (Thoughtful) Not if we get out 'fore she blows.
Ursula: Exactly.
Micky: Great. We'll just set it to the slow explosion mode. :
Ursula: Aren't you always saying the MonkeeMobile is the fastest family car in the known universe?
Micky: Of course, but we're talking split seconds, Urse!
Mike: It's crazy, but...I say we try it.
Peter: I'm scared! What if we don't make it out?
Ursula: We WILL.
Davy: Wish we 'ad the same faith.
Ursula: (Turns to the Monkees) You can do it, my Guardians...but you need to do it together. For everyone's sake, especially Lauren's.
Micky: I don't like it, but it's all we can do. We have to try.
Peter: (Nods) I agree. I'll do anything to get us out of here!
(Mike just nods.)
Davy: Me too. Let’s get this ovah with.
Ursula: Micky, direct the ship to the middle of the Core.
Micky: Aye aye, Urse. ;)
*As Micky starts working the controls, we cut to inside Alex's ship. He's still fuming, but also curious to what they're doing.*
Alex: Dammit. What are they doing? X(
*Lauren mumbles something into her gag.*
Demon: (He's in Star Trek-type sci fi uniform) Looks like they're heading for the center of the Core, sir.
Alex: *rolls his eyes* I can SEE that! I wanna know WHY! X(
*Lauren shifts on the cot she's on, on the side of the room. She mumbles something else into the gag.*
Alex: *drums his fingers on the armrest* They couldn't be crazy enough...nah. There's no WAY they'd survive! But they ARE going in. *slams his fist down* Dammit, they're gonna ruin everything!
Demon: Sure looks that way, sir. But why? They'll never come out alive!
Alex: How the hell would I know? I was just asking the same damn question!
*Lauren mumbles something not very nice.*
Alex: *turns to her* I knew I shouldn't have given her voice back. I'm BUSY over here! Just keep your pants on!
*Lauren rolls her eyes.*
Alex: *turns back to the demon* We have to stop them somehow. You're the first mate, what do you suggest?
Demon: Maybe we should follow them into the Core?
Alex: We'll all be blown to bits, bright boy.
*Lauren's eyes widen.*
Alex: *sighs* Fine. I'll do it. I don't LIKE it, but I'm not alive anyway so why the hell not?
(Alex's ship follows the MonkeeShip into the Core.)
(Cut back to the girls. Valerie is now in front of the empty computer while Daphne puts a glass jar with a tiny, muted, and very angry Sheila on a shelf and Emma sends a light over the prostrate handmaidens, making them disappear.)
Emma: Sent them back where they came from. (Turns to Val) How's things coming, Val? Have you heard from the guys?
Valerie: I've done what I can. I haven't heard from the guys, though. I wonder what's going on?
Daphne: Why don't we check the monitor?
Emma: That could work.
Valerie: It could, couldn't it?
Emma: (As Val flips a few switches and presses a few buttons; points at two ships, one very red and very familiar, streaking across the screen to a huge, pulsing white ball) Hey, look! The red ship looks a little like the MonkeeMobile!
Daphne: How in the world did they manage that? ;)
Emma: I'm not sure I want to know how their minds work.
(Both ships exchange a little fire...then fly right into the center of the white ball.)
Emma: Ok. Is this good?
Valerie: I'd hazard a guess at no, that isn't good.
(The screen is quiet for a few minutes. Then, the screen gets a bit snowy and the computer starts to rumble.)
Emma: No, I'd say that's definitely NOT good!
Valerie: What are they doing!?
(The screen blanks out all together, and the computer shakes harder and smokes.)
Emma: Um ladies, I believe this is known as hit the deck time!
(Emma slides under a table, gently pulling Daphne with her; Valerie quickly follows. The computer shakes more violently. Sparks fly in all directions. Suddenly, the whole machine blows up in a deafening explosion, smoke and debris everywhere. The girls throw their hands over their ears, trying to cover themselves and Daphne.)
Valerie: Oh my goodness! :-O
Emma: I TOLD Davy not to watch all eight hours of that sci-fi marathon on Channel 9 with Mick the other night.
Daphne: Of course, he wouldn't listen. :P
(Six figures emerge from the rubble. Peter and Mike stumble out first, followed by Davy, all back in their MonkeeMan uniforms. Their respective ladies run to them.)
*Micky comes out next, in his uniform again, carrying Lauren, who's asleep. Micky grins mischievously.*
*Alex stumbles out, incredibly charred. He looks like walking ashes. He takes a few steps, then falls forward, out cold.*
Mike: (Shakes his head at Alex) Poor boy just couldn't handle the Core. ;)
Emma: What happened? We saw the MonkeeShip drive into the Core, and...
Micky: Boom? ;)
(Another figure shimmers behind them. They turn to see Ursula appear, totally unruffled. She's grinning.)
Ursula: Yes, a boom Micky can be proud of. They all shot their respective elemental powers at the same time. Combined with your powers, ladies, plus my own, it was just too much for the computer and it's creator.
Micky: It was a thing of beauty.
Emma: We miss all the good stuff. (Turns to Micky) How's Lauren feeling? Is she back to normal?
Micky: Yeah, she is back to normal, just worn out. *pauses shifting her carefully* And getting a bit heavier, too. *strains a bit*
(Emma goes to Micky to help him with Lauren, who is starting to come to.)
Lauren: *yawns, blinking her eyes* What's going on?
Micky: Long story, babe.
Lauren: Oh.
Ursula: (Looks around) It's not safe for any of you here. I'm going to send all of us, the MonkeeMobile, and the other cars home.
Emma: Mike...
Mike: (Shakes his head) Shh, darlin'. We'll discuss the rest in the tag sequence. Right now, what we need is rest.
Peter: Hey, where's Sheila?
Valerie: (Points upwards at the glass jar that now holds the very small, and very, VERY angry, Sheila) Oh, she's spending a LITTLE time hanging around.
*Davy and Daphne enjoy a reunited kiss.
Mike: (Turns to Ursula) Thanks, Urse, for everythin' you did this time around.
Ursula: Thank yourselves. All of you. I'm proud of all of you. (There's another rumble) But I don't think this monstrosity has quite finished yet. Let's get going, before we're buried permanently.
Peter: Please! I never want to come back here again! (Turns to Valerie) Oh Val, it was so spooky in there, and I had to swing over alligators and...
Valerie: (Puts a finger on his lips) Tell me after we get home.
Mike: (Grins) Ok, up, up, and....well, out, MonkeeMen and Women!
Ursula: And that....(there's a dark blue light, and all nine disappear; voice over in the room)...is that!
(Fade out on the room, the remains of the computer, the snoring Alex, and Sheila cursing and kicking and pushing and stamping around in the jar.)