(We open in a large, opulent house in Laurel Canyon with a spectacular view of the mountains. Emma sits on a couch, not looking terribly happy as people flow around her in opulent costumes. She nibbles on a pumpkin-shaped cake.)

Emma: (Mutters) This is boring. Where are the guys?

Lauren: *manages her way through the crowd; wears a "damsel in distress" costume* Hey, Em. *sits next to her* I'm so glad I talked Mick out of the Tarzan and Jane costumes. There's no way I would've come here wearing that one-piece bathing suit.

Emma: (Makes a face) I'm not enjoying this. I can't do anything! I can't drink, and I'm not about to drink the punch, which is probably spiked. I can't do drugs. I don't know more than half of these people, and the half I do know probably aren't thinking coherently right now.

Lauren: *nods* All very good points. And...yes, I believe the punch is spiked. I tried a little bit. *shakes her head* Not good.

Emma: Have you seen Val or Daphne around? And where ARE the boys? It's been dark for ages! They should have taken the kids trick-or-treating and brought them to their grandparents' home and the Cartwright Mansion by now!

Lauren: All I know is Mick mentioned something about a little prank he wanted to pull first, then they'd head out.

Emma: A prank?

Lauren: That's all he said. I've also yet to see the first floor of our house, which Mick wanted to make into a haunted house.

Emma: And I'm sure WE'LL have to clean up after it.

Lauren: No, that was the stipulation to letting him do it. I said HE had to clean it up, and we wouldn't touch it with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole.

Emma: (Chuckles) Smart girl.

Lauren: Always thinking. ;)

Valerie: (Smiles; holds out a cup of punch) Have some of this punch, girls. It's really good.

Lauren: *holds up a hand, making a face* No thanks, Val. I had some already, and I thought it was gross.

Emma: And I can't. I don't want to hurt the baby.

Valerie: I'm sure it's fine... (She frowns as there's strange sounds in the living room) What on EARTH is that?

Lauren: Do we want to know?

Emma: Pigs?

Valerie: I'm going to see what's going on. (She starts to head into the room when, suddenly, she stops and puts her head in her hands) Oww...oh man, my head...

Emma: (Her eyes widen; she struggles to get to her feet) Val? Val, what's wrong?

Lauren: Oh, goodness. *helps Emma up and starts to follow her to Valerie, but stops* What the...

Emma: Girls? (She screams as the women begin squealing...like huge pigs) LAUREN! VAL! (Right before Emma's horrified eyes, they transform into ugly pig-like creatures, with long, round snouts, beady eyes, short, stubby legs, and bristles over most of their bodies that isn't still covered with their clothes.) Oh, my God! (She goes to the pigs...but they turn at her with blank, beady eyes) This can't be happening. I KNEW someone baked something weird into the brownies!

*Daphne runs in, her eyes wide.*

Daphne: Em! Do you have any idea of what's going on?! All of a sudden, there's a whole bunch of pig-things around!

Emma: (Shakes her head) No! We were just sitting here, and Val mentioned the punch, and suddenly I'm talking to walking ugly bacon! (She turns to Daphne, her eyes wide) Do you think the punch did it?

Daphne: It's possible. I didn't have any myself.

(As they conjecture, a group of men in Halloween costumes, carrying bags. They're followed by a tall older fellow with silver hair in a suit. He's actually a rather normal-looking man, compared to his costume-clad cohorts.)

Man: All right, boys, get all the jewelry you can before it wears off. Don't dawdle now... (frowns) What are you ladies doing here?

Emma: We could ask the same of you, pal! Were you invited?

Man: As a matter of fact, yes, I am on the guest list.

Daphne: In whose handwriting?

Man: I WAS invited. This is the house of one of my clients. I'm a pharmacist. I create drugs that help people...relax.

Daphne: I've heard THAT one before.

Emma: You call THAT relaxed? (Points to the two pig-monster-things poking around in the living room)

Man: (Hands Emma a small card) My card, miss. Seymour Audrey, pharmacist to some of the brightest stars in Hollywood today!

Emma: Ok, if you're legit, why are our friends now looking for feed under the table?

Seymour: Just a little drug of mine I slipped in the punch, along with the several others that were already there.

Emma: Why?

Seymour: It's certainly easier to lift jewelry from a pig-creature than a human, isn't it? Don't worry, it'll wear off in a few hours.

Daphne: It better wear off!

Seymour: Your friends will be fine, ladies. (Sighs) We'll have to do something about the two of you, however. (He pulls out a syringe) I borrowed this from some of the guests. The black-haired girl will have to be drugged. The other woman can't be, not in her state. She'll come with us.

Emma: NO!

Daphne: *puts up her fists* I am NOT getting drugged, and you are NOT taking Emma with you!

*"Writing Wrongs" begins as a couple of the guys in Hawaiian shirts advance on Daphne. Suddenly, there's a blur of red and black, a crash, and a few groans as the MonkeeMen appear, two of whom are jumbled together on the floor.*

Emma: Guys!

Daphne: GREAT timing, fellas!

Mike: (Jumps in front of his wife and Daphne; heavy Texas accent) Don't you DARE touch these poor lil' ladies! 'Specially since one happens to be my WIFE!

*Micky and Davy manage to untangle themselves and join the other two.*

Peter: (Bad southern accent) Sorry we're late, ladies! (Frowns) Where's MY wife? I've had a cravin' for bacon for the past two minutes...

Emma: Right there. (Points at the two pigs)

Peter: (Gasps) VAL! (He turns to Seymour) Sir, this was uncalled for, and it wasn't even nice!

Micky: I won't even ask, then.

Davy: Mate, you'd bettah 'ave plans to turn these nice people back to the way they were.

Seymour: They'll revert to their human forms in a few hours, AFTER I've stolen all the jewelry at this party. Not a bad way to do a bit of gem robbing, is it?

Mike: Damn it, you ass! You're gonna turn every one of these lil' ol' people back now, and you're gonna give 'em their jewelry back!

Micky: *shakes a fist* Otherwise, I hope you're hungry!

Seymour: Actually, I find you boys incredibly interesting. What drugs did you take to permit this performance...and flying?

Micky: Drugs? *Davy grabs hold of him* Oh, just let me pop him one!

Mike: Be my guest, Mick. (He stands back)

*Davy shrugs and backs off as well. "Writing Wrongs" begins as Micky walks up to Seymour, pulls back his left hand and aims the punch right into Seymour's jaw, causing the man to stagger back, holding his face..*

Seymour: (Wide-eyed as he rubs his jaw) Amazing! And you say you didn't use drugs!

Peter: Sir, we don't. (Ducks one of his men) This was produced by means your little ol' human mind wouldn't understand.

Mike: (Mutters; sideways glance at Peter) Well, SOME of us don't.

*Micky and Davy double-team some of the men.*

Seymour: (Holds the syringe out to Mike, who remains in front of Emma) You would be wonderful test subjects...

Mike: We've been there, done that, and DON'T particularly want to do it again! (He grabs Seymour's hand) Gimme that!

Seymour: You don't know what you're messing with, boy!

Mike: (As he grapples with Seymour) Em, go call the police! Quick!

Emma: Right! (She runs for the kitchen phone)

(Peter grabs a pumpkin and smashes it over one guy's head, knocking him out.)

*The Hawaiian shirt colors blur as they’re flung about in the background. Micky and Davy high-five each other.*

(Peter grabs a mirror and thrusts it in front of the face of one guy dressed as a clown. He takes one look at his reflection and runs out of the door, screaming.)

(A man dressed as a vampire chases Micky and Davy, his mouth open to show off his fairly realistic fangs.)

*Micky blue lights himself...turning into a bat! He flies around the vampire, just trying to irritate him enough to make him go away.*

(The vampire tries to swat at Micky, but he swats too hard and finally topples into a display of pumpkins.)

*Micky changes back and laughs at the vampire.*

(A wolf man chases Davy, howling and snarling!)

*Davy pulls a string of hotdog's out of nowhere and tosses them at the wolf man. He winks to the camera.*

(Mike and Seymour are still grappling at the syringe. They crash into a couch, and we get a close-up of the syringe jamming into an arm...)

(A ghost drifts around Daphne, cat-calling her!)

*Daphne swings at the ghost, trying to make contact.*

(The ghost ducks around her, but doesn't see her leg aiming for a sensitive place...)

*Daphne makes contact, sending the ghost cringing and crashing to the floor.*

(Mike joins the others as the song ends, dusting himself off. Emma runs in.)

Emma: The cops are on their way, though I'm not sure they believe me about the pigs. (Gasps at the disheveled Mike) Honey, are you ok? If that nutty thief did something to you...

Mike: A little bruised from the fall into the couch, darlin'. Otherwise, I'm fine. Seymour, on the other hand...

(Mike and Emma turn and look behind the couch...and see a large grey pig-monster in Seymour's suit.)

Mike: It was an accident. The syringe hit his arm when we were fightin' for it.

Emma: Thank god it didn't hit YOURS! (She hugs him tightly)

Mike: I'm ok, darlin'.

Micky: I'm actually speechless, for a change.

Peter: (Frowns at the other two pigs in the room) What are we going to do about the girls?

Mike: We could probably just imagine them and the party guests back.

Davy: *makes a face* There's an awful lot of guests.

Micky: We could just turn the girls back.

Peter: But what about the party? And how are we going to explain this to the cops?

Emma: Let's let Seymour do the explaining. This party was a drag, anyway.

Mike: (Winces as police sirens are heard in the distance) We'd better get a move-on, here, or we're going to have a lot more to explain than the pigs!

Micky: No kidding.

Peter: Micky, you and I could do it together, since they are our soulmates.

Micky: *nods* Lets try it.

(Peter closes his eyes; Micky concentrates. There's two blue lights around the grunting pig-things. When the lights subside, Lauren and Valerie are on their hands and knees on the floor.)

Valerie: (As she stands) What the heck is going on? And why do I have a craving for corn?

Lauren: *also gets up* Do I really WANT to know what just happened? *scratches the back of her head*

*Micky wraps an arm around Lauren's shoulders and shakes his head.*

Mike: No. (As the sirens get louder) Shall we fly, MonkeeLeague?

Emma: (Nods) We have Rosemarie here.

Valerie: Maybe we'll find a quieter party somewhere in the Valley, one less likely to be robbed.

Daphne: And a little more innocent, too.

Mike: Come on. (They head out as the camera focuses on the pig in the gray suit grunting around the couch and the smashed pumpkins)