I came in Drew's front door. "Hello?" I paused, listening. I dropped my coat on the couch and headed upstairs. I walked into one of the guest rooms and looked around. "What a mess."
      Ryan stood at the doorway behind me. "It's Wayne and Chip's room."
      I spun around. "Geez, you scared the heck outta me!" I paused, trying to calm myself. "I'm sorry... Man, you prbably think I'm crazy or something..."
      "No, not at all. And I do know about Lewis. Actually, I keep trying to avoid him," he said.
      "You're doing a really good job," I said. "So... you know about the whole cloning deal?"
      "You now, there's a rather long story that comes with the answer to that. You wanna hear it?" Ryan said.
      "Sure!" I agreed.

      The next morning, Oswald walked into his apartment.
      "I love bowling all night!" he announced to no one
      Lewis came in the room. "Hey, you guys bowled all night and didn't call me?"
      "Well, we figured that you were with Lauren," Oswald said.
      "Well, I wasn't. She went to Drew's to talk to Ryan and she never came back."

      At Drew's house, Eugene went up to his and Ryan's room. He tried the door. Locked. He knocked.
      "Ryan, open up!" he said. He knocked again. "Come on! I'm still in yesterday's clothes!" He kept knocking.
      "Sopt the knocking..." I mumbled, trying to turn in the arm chair I was sitting sideways in. I turned the wrong way and fell onto the floor. "That was not the way to start the day..."
      "Ryan, will you wake up and let me in!?" Eugene said, loudly from behind the door.
      Then it hit me. "Awe, geez..." I picked up my pillow and smacked Ryan a couple times with it.
      'Wha- why're you hitting me?" he said.
      "Because Eugene wants to come in and I gotta hide!" I said.
      It took a moment for that to register for Ryan. "Oh, crap..." He jumped up. "Stand behind the door and sneak out after he comes in."
      "Okay," I said, then stood next to the door.
      Ryan opened it. "Sorry about that, Eugene."
      Eugene came in. "Well... you finally let me in." *ding* "Well... you wouldn't have heard a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerine plant***." *ding* "Well... what took ya?"
      "Maybe I didn't want to let you in. Why do I always get stuck with you?" Ryan said.
      "Because I can't stand listening to Chip and Wayne sing in their sleep," Eugene said.
      "What about Greg? He always gets his own room," Ryan said.
      "Because he curses in his sleep. No one wants to listen to that," Eugene said.
      Amidst this lovely stupid little arguement, I made my way out of the room and into the hall. I let out the bth I'd been holding. "That was close," I said, under my breath, going downstairs.
      Lewis came in the front door. "Where've you been?"
      "Uh... I was... um..." I couldn't think.
      "Don't tell me you were here all night," Lewis said.
      'Okay... I won't tell you," I said. *ding* "Okay, I was here." *ding* "I was abducted by aliens and they just brought me back." *ding* "Nothing happened, I swear!"
      "Nothing at all?" he asked.
      "Nothing at all," I said.
      Drew came in the front door. "Man, it's busier here than Winfred-Louder at ten..." He looked at his watch. "And it's only eight." He went upstairs.
      A few seconds later, Eugene came down. He saw Lewis and turned back to that stairs. He turned back to Lewis again.
      "Problem, Eugene?" I asked.
      "No, but I'm thinking about visiting my eye doctor," Eugene said, then left
      "I guess he doesn't know," I said.
      "Obviously," Lewis said.
      Greg came in. "What is wrong with Eugene? He just walked past me muttering something about needing glasses."
      "It's kinda a long story," Lewis said.
      "Oh," Greg said. "Anyway, did Drew get us any jobs yet?"
      "Not yet, but he's workin' on it," I said, jumping in.
      Greg gave me an odd look. "I need to change. Yesterday's clothes, not good." He went upstairs.
      Lewis gave me a glare.
      "I jumped in because I bet Greg thought you were Ryan," I said.
      Greg reappeared at the top of the stairs. "What the Hell's going on here?!"
      "I think he knows," I said to Lewis.
      "I'm Drew's friend Lewis," he started. "I work at a place called DrugCo where they do all kinds of experiments. Ryan just happens to be the outcome of one of 'em."
      Greg came downstairs. "So, does he know that?"
      "Yeah, that's why he purposely avoids me," Lewis said.
      "Now, I know why Eugene was muttering about needing glasses. He saw both of you like I did... Except he added one and one together and got three," Greg said. "So, is he a clone or something?"
      "Sort of, but I don't know how it happened. You really gotta be careful what you touch when you're cleaning up in that place," Lewis said, then saw the look on Greg's face. "I'm the janitor."
      "Wow. I feel like I've just tapped into Star Trek," Greg said, then went back upstairs.
      "Huh... that's what alot of the guys at work say," Lewis commented.
      "Yeah, and they're all scientists," I added.
      Drew came downstairs. "Why can't I get anything done around here? I really need to find some jobs for Eugene's friends so I can get them outta my house." He sat on the couch.
      "Come on, Drew, you'll find something for them," I said, then sat next to him.
      "Yeah, hey, if Oswald could get a job at Global Parcel, there should be plenty of places that's want those guys," Lewis added.
      "I guess you're right..." Drew started.
      "On second thought," Lewis said, "they'll probably mistake Ryan for me..."
      "Awe, crap!" Drew exclaimed. "What'm I gonna do with him, then, huh?"
      "Well, I heard they're looking for some guys to do an improv show in California..." I said.

The End

***I borrowed this line from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. What a movie!